 Item Number – SCP-3229 Object Class – Safe Special Containment Procedures The entire known supply of SCP-3229 is contained in a secure container at Site-81. Testing of SCP-3229 cannot take place without the authorization of the current SCP-3229 research head, currently Dr. G. McElroy, the Site-81 containment Description – SCP-3229 is the group designation for a supply of roughly 127 dark umber pharmaceutical capsules believed to have been produced by notable parapharmacologists and current person of interest, DADDO. The pills are bottled in standard orange prescription containers with white lids, and each one has a sticker on the exterior with the words, Boner Pill by DADDO written on it. The effects of the drug become apparent roughly 20 minutes after ingestion. Subjects will begin to experience minor irritation, followed immediately by symptoms of rapid aging. Over the course of the next four hours, subjects will experience joint stiffness, poor posture, slowed-in limited movement, decrease in overall energy, constipation, incontinence, slowing of mental processes, reduced reflexes, decrease in visual acuity, severely diminished hearing, wrinkling and sagging skin, and whitening or graying of hair. In most cases, the presumed age of the subject increases by at least 70 years. The subject presumed age generally decreases as the effect of the medication wears off unless the subject expires due to age-related causes. At the same time, subjects will also report massively increased libido, past what is considered normal in humans. These effects are directly related. As subjects appear to grow older, their sex drive increases dramatically. This increase in sexual desire combined with the various detriments that come with extremely advanced age leads many individuals to become increasingly irritable. Notably, the medication does not appear to help with any sort of sexual dysfunction, much to the chagrin of affected subjects. Addendum 3929.1 Discovery SCP-3929 was discovered after the arrest of several individuals near Boca Raton, Florida by local police. The arrest was part of a much larger investigation into a rash of drug-related offenses involving seniors. After the effects of the medication became apparent, Foundation officials intercepted the drugs and began a series of raids on local drug manufacturers with the hope of exposing the individual called DADDO. While this was eventually unsuccessful, Foundation agents did collect a laptop containing a number of emails between one of the arrested individuals and DADDO. During questioning, the individual claimed to have never met DADDO personally, having only interacted with them over the internet. The contents of the emails are below. May 19th, 2017 DeMario said to hit you up. Says you got the good shit. You make stuff? May 20th, 2017 Yes, I am, DADDO. Hello. May 20th, 2017 You trying to play right now? We don't fuck around, man. I want to know if you can provide some shit, yes or no. May 21st, 2017 What the fuck, dude? You here? Hello? May 22nd, 2017 Yes, sorry, DADDO, type slow, but I make for you what you want. May 22nd, 2017 Okay, you know Viagra, right? Little blue pill to make old people horny? We need a lot of that. I don't care if it works perfectly, we just need it cheap, got it? May 23rd, 2017 Okay, you want pill what make old and horny, yes? May 23rd, 2017 Yes, but we don't care if it's exactly right, you get it? This is a scam, we just want cheap. May 24th, 2017 Hello? May 25th, 2017 Okay, I make for you. I ship to you in one week. No charge, I have Amazon Prime. June 2nd, 2017 Hey man, what the fuck is this shit you sent us? Why are these pills brown? This doesn't look like Viagra, dude. The bottle says boner pills. What the fuck? I want my money back. June 3rd, 2017 No, it okay, these better than Viagra, you trust that, oh. June 6th, 2017 God damn it, you asshole, what did you do? Holy shit, my skin is getting so wrinkled and my balls are down to my knees, god damn. More important though right now is that I want you to come down here and plot that little round white ass that goes down on this dick. June 6th, 2017 What the fuck? It only gets worse? June 6th, 2017 You there? June 6th, 2017 You want to fuck? June 6th, 2017 Fever's to Betsy, I just want a nut. Addendum 3929.2 Testing log. 3929 trial number 1 Subject D92014 34-year-old adult male. Result Subject age rapidly over the course of roughly four hours, reaching a maximum age of approximately 140 years before the effect of the medication wore off. Subject returned to normal afterwards. Subject feedback. Subject began aggressively rubbing his genitalia against the chair after three hours. 3929 trial number 6 Subject D92234 46-year-old adult female. Dosage 1 capsule Result Same as above. Subject aged rapidly over the span of four hours. Subject reached a maximum presumed age of 160 years. Subject returned to normal afterwards. Subject had to be restrained on three occasions as the subject attempted to aggressively insert their fist into their vagina. Subject feedback. Subject noted as having asked just push your whole leg up in their whipper snapper on no fewer than six occasions. 3929 trial number 14 Subject D92651 20-year-old adult female. Notably, this subject listed their sexual preference as asexual. Dosage 1 capsule Result Subject began to rapidly decrease in age over the course of four hours. Subject reached a presumed age of two weeks. Subject returned to normal afterwards. Subject feedback. Throughout the entire trial, the subject began to speak increasingly enthusiastically about flying kites. Starting initially with their love of flying kites with their father and leading eventually to just before they lost the ability to speak all together. Their $50,000 aero rig equipped with advanced instrumentation and constructed from extremely high quality materials. At several points, the subject referred to it as the kite life and rebuked a researcher for describing it as a hobby. 3929 trial number 43 Subject D93489 52-year-old adult female. Dosage 2 capsules Result Subject ingested both capsules and, after roughly five minutes, spontaneously burst into a pile of ash. While the subject did not recover from this incident, several individuals attending to the remains noted that the pile of ash made them feel incredibly sexually uncomfortable. Site 42 is able to continue broadcasting and move up to live-action SCP film adaptations due to the support of viewers, subscribers and especially our patrons. Special shout out to our Site Director level patron, Andre Bechert.