 Would you look at that one year of videos mani mani mani videos daily videos I don't think I even missed a day this year. That's kind of sad. Call me Kevin 2020 call me caveat. Ah, here we go. Here's what I'm looking for oof and even being on stage. There was just such a strange Oh, I miss events imagine seeing people. I Don't know if it's just 2020, but it looks like I have aged 20 years Well then 2021 should be absolutely fantastic Hey there friends, how's it going? You're a little bit lopsided there. Let me fix you All right, you feeling better now, buddy. I think it's time you go home I guess someone had a pretty crazy New Year's Eve Hope someone did because I I did I did nothing I figured like my past self now is good time to give a little update a little vlog if you will a little one-to-one or one-to-one Thousand or however many people watch this. I don't know I don't like to set the bar high if I go in low, then I can't be disappointed No, but I hope you had sorry. I'm still trying to strain you up here a bit all over the place I didn't want to bring it up. I don't want to make you self-conscious, but you're kind of like topsy-turvy a little bit Yeah, I hope you had a good New Year's folks. I hope you had a good Christmas It has been a wild wacky roller coaster is 2020 and when I say roller coaster, I mean one That only goes down You go down for like, I don't know 20 seconds and then there's like an up for a second And then you still keep going down some No, I don't mean to be negative. There's always positives with these things, but 2020 has been very very rough I think for all of us if not then at least the vast majority of us I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you got through it and please God let anyone be easier I'm sure it will. How could it be worse, but I don't mean to sound negative. I really really don't worry We're gonna put that all behind us now. We're gonna be positive from here on in I wanted to do a little catch-up Talk to you guys a little bit more personally because I like to do these every now and again because I feel like with my content It's hard to kind of have like more of a conversation and kind of like a little update and what Not, but these are the perfect opportunity to do that. Having said that there's not much to update you on because 2020 has been such a write-off in terms of doing things. I think there's definitely some positives I got out of it. I'm delighted that I was able to continue doing what I do in creating content as well as streaming It's been honestly just a huge relief that I can do that. I think without you guys I would have gone insane. I don't think it would take much to push me over But yeah, thanks to you guys I've somehow managed to remain sane well at least the same amount of sane I came into the year with and I'm so thankful for that I know it's such a cliche for youtubers or streamers whatever this to sit there and be like Thank you so much everyone. I owe you everything But it's honestly been just a massive relief because without this whole community we got going here. I Would really really really have struggled And it's thanks to you guys that I actually had something to focus on and be productive with and have some kind of an outlet with Because at least in my country the lockdowns have been quite serious and I have taken them quite serious Which means I've been homebound for quite a long time In long periods on top of that going into the winter my eating broke and I couldn't get anyone to fix it So not only am I stuck in this house I'm kind of stuck in this room because anywhere else in the house is absolutely freezing I'm a cold-blooded creature as you probably guess from my content, but also circulation wise I don't like the cold not a great country to be living in for someone who doesn't like the cold But cheers to you for keeping me sane. Thank you It's funny as well because that kind of brings me to my next topic like looking at this video from before like I Look so different. Let me get a worse screenshot. I prefer going on a bad screenshot. So people make fun of me There we go dashing as always you can see Even in my face how different I look and that is one huge thing that I took out of 2020 I definitely tried to make my physical health a little bit better I've been exercising a lot five days a week if I can and just eating a lot thankfully My metabolism was like Kevin. It's time to be a normal human You no longer have to eat three and a half thousand calories to gain weight a regular little bit over What your recommended intake is is just fine That's enough to put on weight if anyone out there struggles to gain weight. I completely sympathize with you It's really frustrating like I think in that video. I probably would have been about 70 75 kg I would think and now I'm up to 92. I believe so I've put on a lot of weight I'm really happy with that. It's been kind of a lifelong goal of mine to put on weight And I've really struggled with it because of the lockdown situation as well. I have fully adopted the sweatpants lifestyle I actually I had to wear jeans for the first time in like two months because I was going outside And I was like I want to look cool in jeans because jeans are really in right now Everybody loves jeans and then I realized none of them fit me I had to buy new jeans I I found one pair that kind of fit But it was like the bottom was like oh Any moment and I'm gonna go that's how my buttons sound like But not to worry I've bought more pants in the meantime the emergency averted But yeah, it's been such a long road to get where I am. I'm just really proud of Finally getting there. I'm finally at the end of the road Like I still want to continue my trend and whatnot I'm not so much putting on loads of weight, but just my exercise and eating right and whatnot I want to continue that don't get me wrong, but it feels like I've finally Kind of done what I set out to do which is just great because it's been so many years of trying And it was really defeating just not being able to put on weight or like I managed to put on 3kg And then I'd get sick for a week and I'd lose like five I that's how my body was working and it's the most frustrating thing, but I'm thankful that it's finally worked out But I'll stop talking about how much I weigh now I think along with that I think one of the biggest parts of 2020 for me in a positive way is just trying to Figure myself out a bit more this year was definitely the year for thinking I remember talking about this with a few friends In the middle of the year, I think everyone was kind of in this mindset in in like the summer time I think now in the winter people are getting a bit more down again That's just my observation anyway from all this lockdown business But I think in the summer there was a period there where people were like I'm using this to better myself and learn This sort of do that and I kind of did that too with guitar I picked up guitar and I've super super enjoyed it really really rewarding hobby and I'm still trying to get better at that and again That's something that I wanted to do for years, but I could never motivate myself But I'm super happy with that I kind of use the opportunity of all the downtime to try and learn a bit more about myself and I think kind of address issues that I have because there's definitely like some issues I have with Who I am as a person which won't surprise you I'm sure But I've been trying to work on myself and I've been trying to understand myself a bit better I know probably like 17 years too late, but I've been trying my best and trying to improve a little bit Get myself out of my comfort zone a little bit and just address issues that are clearly there I don't think anything too serious, but you know, I think we we all have stuff we can work on and It's helps when you're in a situation where you can't really do much to feel like you're making progress And I think that's why all the like the weight gain the guitar and just trying to improve myself Generally has really helped me because it's like I'm not wasting my time at least I'm doing something So I'd recommend the same if you're in the in the same situation I would be if I wasn't doing anything where you're just fed up of all this nothingness It's super helps. I know a friend who's like started learning a language making progress there It's just anything you can do I think to make yourself feel like you're accomplishing things It's just a huge help for me. Anyway, I'm only speaking for myself. I don't know what helps you I'm just generalizing probably not a great idea, but I'm just thinking if there's anyone out there who? Needed a bit of advice. Maybe that helps. I don't know. Don't listen to me I play video games all day. Honestly, I'm the last person you should listen to if anything do the opposite There's someone sitting out there like taking notes the exact opposite like he's saying to like learn stuff and do stuff So let's let's just sit down and idle It's just sitting there idle a few more months to this then I'll be happy But I'm just hoping it will be just a few more months I feel like as tough as this whole lockdown situation is and Please understand that I'm speaking from a position where in the grand scheme of things It's affected me but not as much as it's affected many people including many of you and you have my Extreme empathy if you're in a situation where it has affected you a lot because I I even know people who are in them Do I have bleach on my hand? Let's not get distracted. I just I've ruined my my hoodie I was cleaning things and it's oh, that's sad new year's ruined. I hate 2021 I've gotten over it now. Sorry. It was fleeting anger But yeah You've so much empathy from me if you are in a situation where this is affected you a lot because it's gotta be fecking taxing But the good thing is I feel like now that there's an end in sight the vaccine situations looking good I got my fingers crossed that Mid 21 this will all be a thing of the past just come on dude, please But I've high hopes that will be back to normality and please don't let me be in a clip next year and Kevin's 20 to 21 vlog for New Year's and then I react by going oh you idiot past Kevin's stupid Just let me have this one dude, please. I actually hate you future Kevin Yeah, I think the end in sight just helps a lot. It just just that there is Future where we can go back to normality. It just feels so surreal that this whole thing even happened It doesn't feel like reality sometimes to me, which is weird. I know it's super strange But at the same time I almost can't Like imagine going back to normal now. I've kind of like adjusted Like I can't imagine going on holidays on a plane for example But I'm so glad to get I'll be I will be so glad to get out of that mindset and back to normality I want to go places and I want to I want to do more events and stuff I want to meet more of you guys I feel like I would enjoy the experience more than ever doing like a meet and greet and stuff like that and as soon as This situation is over. I'm gonna start doing them again because I miss them dearly There were some of my favorite things to do and just so so rewarding to actually meet so many years in person I think luckily although it's not a substitute It has helped like doing the whole twitch thing because I feel like I am interacting with you guys a little bit more and it feels a bit more What's the word I guess just real when it's in real time as much as I love the comments I read loads of them to this day It's it's just it kind of it just hits different today when it's in real time and it's really helped me kind of Get that connection without being able to meet you guys in real life having said that the YouTube comments are still just an Absolute rewarding experience for me again to this day It's something I I just always look at and I I try and take feedback a bit more constructive than I used to if it's negative Rather than just disregarding it like I would a few years ago I think the past few years. I've definitely gotten better at that at least just taking on the feedback and Instead of going all this person just doesn't get my humor and maybe yeah, maybe it's me That's the problem. Maybe I didn't make that quite clear enough that that was a joke stuff like that Just simple little things, but I definitely appreciate those of you who leave a comment or a like or dislike Whatever it is just for feedback. They definitely take it on board and if you don't do that fully understand as well I'm a bit of a lurker myself. I always say this on streams like when I'm in other people's streams I rarely talk. I rarely say anything. I rarely tweet or anything like that. I I just have nothing to say That's the situation. I'm afraid for a guy who talks to himself a lot For a living essentially. I I don't talk to others. Well, I guess I'm excited for the new year though To what it'll bring both on and offline because I'm excited to make more content I feel like this year has been a year of adjustments with my content and trying to like change things up a little bit But not too much because I love doing what I do But I also want to like adapt a little bit and and see what works for both you and myself Because I want to make content people enjoy if if I'm playing a game say I just play the Sims all the time the whole year I probably get bored eventually, but I probably enjoy it a lot like our even the Among Us craze is a great example I could have just done Among Us for like a solid month and I would have been happy But you guys probably wouldn't have been happy I mean a lot of you probably would have been okay with it But a lot wouldn't have been okay with it and I totally get that we're a variety channel I don't do one type of content all the time I know some people would say Kevin it's your channel do what you enjoy But I think the problem with being a content creator. It's not a problem It's the situation with being a content creator is you want People to enjoy your content and you kind of get you get one of those serotonin's every time someone enjoys your content And I think while I have to be doing something I enjoy I also have to be making things other people enjoy or Even if it's in you know smaller scale like as long as people are enjoying the content and I feel like what I'm putting out There's good and I'm enjoying what I make then I'm happy But it's a wicked combination to try and nail sometimes and as I've said in the past one thing I always say about content creation It's a weird job because you're always competing against yourself If I do a video that does really well like I thought it was good I super enjoyed making it people seem to be enjoying it and it does great like it It's the best out of the last 10 videos I've done in terms of use will say because YouTube always puts that in your face If it's 10 out of 10 is like oh, you're pretty shit or one out of 10 It puts confetti on the screen in the studio It's over the top it's a weird one I don't know how I feel about it, but while I love that one serotonin I get from from that experience I know that the next video probably isn't gonna meet that expectations and that's gonna be the bear I've set myself for the next like 10 videos and it's really really bizarre as I said I'm not fully sure how I feel about the studio thing I know some people actually find it quite taxing on their mental health because I Honestly, honestly most YouTube creators that I've spoken to about it specifically tend to view it as more of a negative I definitely see where the negative Impacts comes from you you go on and you work really hard in a video and then it shows 10 out of 10 This video is not performing well It is not being clicked and it is not being recommended or whatever and that sucks, but I'm also And I also have the opinion that it is actually quite helpful because I'm like, okay What did I do wrong here because I don't want to just ignore the problem? I've obviously done something wrong And I try and address that and I've really tried to take that on board this year. I hope it's helped the content I hope you've been enjoying what you see this year I've also put in a little extra effort with all my equipment and it's it's been really rewarding as well because I know You can't just like buy quality, but it definitely Helps when you're trying to do other stuff like I think that Matthew Mafia what is a mafia? I think that mafia intro I did where I was the mafia man the Irish dude in the in the bar I think that came out really well That was like the first I think in real life project I've done that I've been like this came out exactly as I had it in my head like I wrote my little script for it I had it all planned out in my head I filmed it and then I edited it and I was like This looks just like the simulations Whereas normally I have like An imaginary Scene made up in my head that would look like that, but then it comes out like this don't get me wrong It's the creativity that is important when you're making content that the amount of people I see that are like I want to start a YouTube $3,000 on equipment Dude buy it buy a webcam OBS is free Just just do that like honestly you can make like a webcam look amazing with like two Decent lights if you want I hope if many of you have taken up content creation or streaming or whatever it is This year out of sheer boredom are just taking an interest. I hope it's going well for you I really do that's what I want to do. I want to just keep enjoying what I do But keep trying to adjust and improve so again if you've any constructive feedback in my videos Don't don't feel the need to just silence yourself because like I don't want to criticize it like I welcome the feedback If you think X Y or Z is wrong. I'm totally on board like please don't be aggressive Please don't be like look you fucking idiot. You're obviously doing this wrong Constructive criticism would be lovely. I'm so lucky to have a community that is like just so nice It's weird because I see people with communities this size and it seems like there's always a level of toxicity that comes with them I don't know how we've escaped it everyone seems so nice and it's always been the way I've always been like Oh, I don't think we're at that point yet. We're like the toxicity seeps in but it just never came Like I thought it would happen when we hit like half a million followers or something. I was like, okay This this is getting pretty big. We're gonna get some bad actors here in a second Then we hit a million I was like Oh, this is it This is their moment where they're gonna sneak in when they see that we've hit that big number This is the moment you get targeted I've just been on constant like stand by waiting for it to happen But it never did and I am just so thankful for that because I It's not a part I've really experienced I've seen a little bit of toxicity in some videos and streams when I we get people from outside the community come in But it's been so rare and I've been so thankful for that really really thankful So thank you for being like the best and most supportive community I've literally ever seen on youtube and I'm not exaggerating I'm not seeing it like oh guys We are the best community in youtube and just disregarding other people's I genuinely believe that we are one of the nicest And just the best communities on youtube. I used to say it in my old videos We had such a small but nice community. This was back when I had like 10,000 subscribers But it just never changed. It always seemed to just Bring in the right people. I'm Unsure of how it happened given my content is me being kind of a bad person Oh another thing to kill. All right, just you and me. Let's go She's too good at what she does. She's dodging every hit. All right now. I'm armed But it happened a everyone is super kind super nice Streaming has definitely brought that to the forefront It shows how nice the community is because sometimes I was like, oh, it's only the You know 0.1 percent that are commenting and their comments are getting to the top. I must be missing the toxicity Well, no, it's It's real. I don't know how it happened. I always say it, but I'm so thankful So so thankful for how kind and nice this community is And I just hope that we can continue making content for years to come if you can stand me that long I'd appreciate your company. I'm so thankful to be in the position. I'm in Where this is my job like I I love it. I I can't explain enough how much I enjoy What I'm doing and at this point I can't imagine doing anything else Like I remember when I used to do content when I was much younger before I left to open a store That's again a whole rabbit hole. I hope you know about it already I don't really want to go into too much detail, but I did youtube and it always felt like This is not sustainable. It was because it was so new as well It was like this This is not something I can do forever and then I I moved into Running a store and obviously had the whole accident and stuff and then I came back and did it but while I'm Prepared if this ever has to end I never wanted to end I want to just keep doing what I'm doing because I I don't I don't feel like anything else fits me and my personality as much as this does and it's just It's just an amazing amazing situation to be in. So thank you so much For supporting me in what I do and allowing me to be in this position It's been a wild roller coaster. I don't know how to really fully express What the odds are how strange it is that It's ended here And I'm able to make content like this for you guys and you're actually enjoying it and Like the whole thing the car accident the store doing the content before Leaving school all my stomach issues and all that kind of thing has led to this. It's it feels like It was a one in a gazillion chance But I'm glad I'm in this reality and all those other reality kevins are just miserable I'm glad I'm the one that's having a good time over here But it kind of blows my mind sometimes Um, and I just I can't thank you enough. I know I'm rambling, but I just It's genuine and I I know it sounds cliche But I'm so thankful for that and it's it's had such a positive impact on my life What you guys have done for me and I just can't express it enough. I honestly can't Uh, but thank you I I think I'll end my rant now. I I think we've rambled enough. I hope this wasn't boring for you I know I don't do a lot of these and I think there's a reason for that I don't get up too much. I think it'd be quite boring if I did one of these every week I I did an extra one this year. I usually only do them once a year But I I did do one because of the situation we were in with 2020, but uh, yeah I I I appreciate you watching and I hope it wasn't boring I always feel like it's boring and I feel like I rambled too much and I rant And I just go on long winded stories even now I'm making this way longer than it needs to be, but I hope you enjoyed I I'd appreciate the feedback if you liked it as I was saying it means a lot to me And again, if you've constructive criticism, feel free. I mean, it's new year. So maybe you don't go too hard on me I mean just saying like it is a day for celebration. So if you if you were like super negative you I mean you can it's you look kind of bad But thank you so much For watching the video and thank you so much for sticking with me whether you just watch one video every few months You watch every single video or this is the first one as I always say with these videos It would be weird if this is the first one. It's a strange one to jump in But if it is hey, watch some of my other stuff Some of it's actually good. I think but yeah, thank you so much for watching guys. I appreciate you As always I really do I genuinely mean that when I say it and I hope you had a great Christmas Good holidays I know it's a weird one, but look hopefully back to normality soon And we can put this whole thing behind us. Happy new year to you 21 is the year. It's gonna be the one. I can feel it. It's gonna be a good one We're all gonna have a good time. I think I hope everything's well in your life with you and your family And I hope to see you next time. Thank you so much for watching and bye for now