 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Hello! The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine. Every day, millions of women all over America serve Parquet Margarine because it tastes so good. To market, to market, to get some parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You like it, you love it, like many do say. The favorite margarine is Parquet. Parquet Margarine, P-A-R-K-A-Y, it's wonderful. It's one of those quiet Sunday afternoons in Summerfield. And what's our old friend Throck Morton P. Gilder Sleeve up to? At the moment, he isn't up to anything. The great man is flat on his back. Shoes off, belt loosened. His chubby figure stretched out in the couch in the living room. He's about to catch 30 winks when... Oh, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, I found that sponge. It was on the... Uh-oh. Huh? Oh, excuse me. What's that, Bertie? I didn't know you were snoozing, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I'll back right out. I'm not snoozing, Bertie. I'm right awake. Just got this newspaper over my face to keep the glare out. Rest my eyes. Huh? What is it, Bertie? Kind of funny talking to you under there. Huh? Can you hear me all right? Of course I can hear you. I don't have to see you to hear you, you know. Oh, okay. But what I wanted to tell you is I found that sponge you wanted. Who's this sponge? Remember this morning you said you'd wash the carpet. You could only find the sponge? Well, I found the sponge. Uh-huh. Thanks, Bertie. So you can wash the carpet you want. Here's the sponge. Uh-huh. Just put it on the table. I'll look into it after a while. Okay. After a while. That man. Uh-huh. Sunday. Sponge. Maybe I ought to wash. Nah. I'll go move. Snooze. Can't you see my uncle's asleep? How can he breathe under that paper? Come on. Let's get out of here. Maybe he's dead. You're crazy. Can't you see his stomach go up and down? I'll say. Boy, look at it. I saw a whale once. I heard that. Hi, Uncle. Leroy, what's the matter with you two stomping through here like a herd of wild buffalo? After this, I want you to tiptoe. Understand? Sure. Now, you take that little, take Craigie and Mars right out of here. Unless you want to spend the rest of the day in your room. Okay. Where's going on? Come on, Craig. What did I tell you, young man? Huh? Just try to get some rest around here. Just try. Do you see my play suit anywhere? Play suit? Oh, yes, of course. Can't you see I'm wearing it? My. You must have got up on the wrong side of bed this morning. That will do, young lady. Nobody asked you for your opinion. What? I wonder who that is. Why doesn't Birdie answer that bell? Birdie! Is the lord master of the house in? Who asked him over? Well, good afternoon, Marjorie, my dear. Hello, Judge. Good afternoon, Gildy. Taking your ease, I see. What's it look like I'm doing? Any objections? No, my remark was intended purely as a pleasantry, Gildy. No need to bite my head off. Uncle Mort is like a caged lion today. It's matter, Gildy. Get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Confounded? Is that all anybody can say? No wonder you're out of sorts, cooped up in the house on a fine day like this. Now, I was going for a little spin. Thought you might like to accompany me. Little fresh air in the lungs. That's what you need. Quit blowing in my face. A little rest is what I need. By George, I work hard all week. Lila. That was a sneaky thing to do. What? Sleaking around, spying on your elders. I won't have anybody stealing into this house like a thief in the night. Uncle Mort. Never mind, Marjorie. I didn't do anything. Just because you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I'll decide what's fair around here. Seems to me, Gildy. I will handle this, Hooker. Now go on, both of you. Come on, Lilo. It's obvious we're in the way here. I didn't do anything. First, he tells me to... Come on, Hooker. What? You said you wanted to take a ride, didn't you? What are you standing there with your mouth open for? Wake up, you old fossil. Let's go. Today, Summerfield's got the best air in the country. Well, go on, Judge. Say it. Say what? You know what? Say it. What do you want me to say? I'm a rat. Go on, say it. You really want me to? Yes. All right, you're a rat. Thanks, Judge. It takes a true friend to tell you what you really are. I had no right to treat the children that way. I'm a rat. I think we've established that, Gildy. Well, don't let me forget it. When you adopt two kids, you're supposed to take care of them. Love them. All in all, Gildy, I'd say you've done a pretty good job with Marjorie and Leroy. No, I haven't. I had no business losing my temper that way. After all, what do they do? Nothing. Well, the thing for you to do is to make it up to them some way. Yeah. Do something nice for them. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take you to the movies or something. By George, I'll do it tonight, Judge. They're showing that picture of Mother War tights. The kids will love that. Not as much as you will. Besides, taking them to the movies is the lazy way out, Gildy. What do you mean? Did you ever try spending an evening at home with them? Of course I have. What is there to do? Oh, there are lots of things to do. Talk to them, play games with them, pop some corn. Pop corn. A family can have a jolly time around the fireside. It's too warm for a fire. And certain lemonade. Main thing is to get acquainted. They'll love you for it. Might not be a bad idea, Judge. Wonder if Bertie's got any lemons. Well, maybe we could have a fire if we left the windows open. Would be kind of nice. I could wear my smoking jacket. That's the spirit. We could have a real... See, who's that? Who's what? Walking down the street there. Say, she's cute. Wonder where she came from. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What's the matter? You need glasses, Gildy. That's our principal. Huh? Your old friend, Eve Goodwin. By George it is. Eve. Eve. You chased her long enough. You ought to recognize her. It looks like something new has been added. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Must be that new false suit. Gildy, you've got that look in your eye. I assure you, Judge, that what you're thinking is the furthest thing from my mind. Banana oil. Well, maybe you're right. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You old goat. This is nice, isn't it? Isn't it, children? Yes, Uncle Mort. Don't you think so, Leroy? Yeah, I'm sure. Look at that old fireplace away. There's nothing like sitting in front of the fireplace, is there, Marjorie? Sure makes it cozy in here. Yes. Leroy. What are you sitting way over there by the window for? Ha, ha, ha. Come over and join the party. This is all right. Unky. Yes, my dear. Would it be all right if I open the door for a minute? Well, go ahead if you want to. Uh, Marjorie, you might fan the door back and forth a few times. He's getting a little smoky in here. Maybe if I move my chair back a little. Well, children, this is nice. Just the three of us, our happy little family, sitting around the fireside. That's why, George, we ought to do this more often. We really don't spend enough time together. I should know more about you, too. What you do all day? Leroy will hear from you first. What you do this afternoon? Are you kidding? What? I was up in my room. You sent me there. Oh, yes. It was a dirty trick. No, no, Leroy. We've gone all over that. I apologize. Well? Unky. Yes, my dear. You think it's too late to go to the movies? No, we could still make it, huh? Now, we settle that during dinner. We can have a lot more fun right here at home. Of course we can. All sorts of things we can do. Like what? Well, I know we can pop some corn. Oh, if you want to. That's the spirit. We don't need to go to the movies. We can have our popcorn right here at home. Already to eat. A little burnt, but what do we care? Well, yeah, it's pretty good. Have some, Audrey. My goodness, don't be so dainty. Take a handful. How about you, Leroy? I'm kind of full, Aunt. Come on. You can eat a little. Poor old. Every American boy loves popcorn. Okay. Good, isn't it? No, but I'm a bit... What's the matter, Leroy? You're down the wrong way? Come on. We don't stand there while your brother's choking to death. Run out and get a glass of water. Hurry up. You're supposed to slap him on the back. I know what to do in these emergencies. You just get the water. Hold still, Leroy. Is that any better? Again, please. You know who we'll get at this time. Thanks. Here you are, my boy. Drink it slowly now. Here. Feel better now? Yeah. Have me worried for a minute. Here. Better sit down. Want a cushion? Anything I can get you? Have some popcorn. Yeah. Honk. Yes? Would you mind if I went up to my room? Went up to your room? No, of course not, my boy. Not alone if you want to. Thanks. Good night. Good night. Well, Marjorie? Looks like it's you and me. Evening's still young yet. Like to play some part cheesy? I think the board's behind the Davenport. What's that? I guess the party started over at Francie's house. Party? Why didn't Francie invite you? She did. Oh. It's nothing special. She's having the kids over to hear some new records. Sounds like they're having a lot of fun. I hope you didn't stay home on my account. No, Anki. You don't have to, you know. You don't have to worry about me. It will hurt my feelings. Are you sure? Of course. Run along. Have a good time. You're only young once. Oh gee thanks, Anki. Want to take the popcorn with you? No thanks. Good night. Good night, my dear. I guess I'll never understand kids. Takes a woman. Eve Goodwin looked awfully cute today. Well, I had my chance with her. But I wiggled off the hook and swam away. Here I am. Just a happy bachelor. War from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a minute. As the Parquet reporter, my job is to find out what summer field people have to say about Parquet, the craft quality margarine. I chatted with our friend Birdie the other day and asked her why she bought Parquet. Well, I always buy Parquet because it tastes so good. But Birdie, Parquet has 15,000 units of vitamin A per pound. Doesn't that interest you? Frankly, I never see any of them, any of what you call them. I just buy Parquet because all the Gilder Sleeve family likes it. Well, aren't you concerned with the fact that Parquet is made from carefully selected products of American farms, that it's one of America's favorite spreads for bread, but it's so economical? Well, I know it's what you said there, but the reason I buy Parquet is that it tastes so good. But Birdie, can't you say that Parquet is rich in food energy, that it's smooth and pure? I can say that, but you've already said it. I say I buy Parquet because it's just plain, honest of goodness, good to eat. Well, friends, I guess when you come right down to it, Birdie has the right idea. Parquet margarine made by craft is a delightful taste treat, and that's why millions of women all over America serve Parquet. It's the spread that tastes so good. That's Parquet margarine, P-A-R-K-A-Y, it's wonderful. And the Great Gilder Sleeve is spending a sleepless night. Partly the popcorn, he ate the whole bowl, partly because his evening with the children didn't turn out so well, but there's something else keeping him awake too. Eve, she looked different. Can't get over it. She didn't walk like a principal. This is silly. Better get to sleep. Good night, Gilder Sleeve. An hour passing. Never forget the night we went on that moonlight hayride. Quite a girl. We'd be married now if I hadn't. Could have done a lot worse. The children were crazy about her too. This is ridiculous. Good night, Gilder Sleeve. Another hour. Yeah, Eve was all right, all right. Maybe. No, she wouldn't want it. Never can tell, though. Wouldn't hurt to call her in the morning. All I can lose is a nickel. By George, I'll do it. Good night, Gilder Sleeve. Good night, Gilder Sleeve. Just stopped in to use the phone, PV. I'm going out again. I've got to make an important call. A business call. I'll need some change. Sure, I got a special today. Two nickels for a dime. Yes, yes. Here, make these phone booths so small. Doesn't this door close? It's been sticking lately. The company promised to send a man over. Expect a man to make an important phone call with that door open this way. Might as well be phoning in the middle of Main Street to call someplace else. Well, see you later, PV. Forget something, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? I might be interested in the box of candy. All right, if you'll just step over here. What did you have in mind? Well, anything will be all right. Candy's candy. Well, except for you, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Well, it doesn't make any difference to me. It doesn't make any difference to me. Oh? Well, that one up there will be all right. You mean this one, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? No, no, no. The heart-shaped box. The one with the ribbons on it. And this one? No, no. Not the white one. The red one. Oh, this one? Yes, but not the small one. The big one. Mmm, a five-pound size. Mmm. Yeah, there you are, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Eh, PV, if you'll just put the candy aside for me until tonight. Yes, I think I can do that. I'm not sure I'll need it. It depends on a certain party. All right, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I'm going to ask her out till six o'clock. If you don't mind my asking, who is the lady? None of your business, PV. Anyhow, who said anything about a lady? I didn't think you'd be buying a heart-shaped box for Leroy. But you just keep that certain party out of this, PV. She's not used to having her name bandied about in drugstores. Who? That certain party. Eh, fool you, didn't I? PV, you're an old snoop. Well, all right. That's because I'm paying a little call on this certain party tonight. Doesn't mean necessarily I'm entertaining in a romantic idea. Not necessarily. No, that's for sure. I know what you're thinking. Well, you're off your base. Anyway, she wouldn't stand for it. Not Eve Goodwin. PV, you know the trouble with you? What? You've got an evil mind. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Good evening, Dr. Morton. Come in. Hello, Eve. It was nice to get your call. Haven't seen you since you got back from your vacation. That's right. Long time, no see. Have you been? Fine. How about you, Eve? Just fine, thank you. Oh, eh, brought you some candy. Oh, well, thank you. That was sweet of you, Dr. Morton, but you didn't have to. Oh, it isn't much. Just five pounds. Well, shall we sit down? I remembered that was the kind you used to like. That's why I brought it over. Oh, it's very sweet of you. Just for old time's sake. Why don't you take that chair? That chair? Well, I'll just sit here with you on the sofa. Oh, didn't mean to crowd you. Just like old times, you and me sitting here on the sofa. Well, Dr. Morton, what was this trouble with Leroy? Leroy? Well, yes, you said on the phone Oh, yes, oh, yes. Well, I was worried about how he was getting along at school. Well, school just started. Besides, Miss Fersha tells me he's been behaving beautifully. Oh, well, tell her to keep an eye on him. When he's on his best behavior, that's the time to look out. Dr. Morton. You really didn't come over here to talk about Leroy, did you? Well, have a nice summer. Mm-hmm, perfect. Eve? Yes? You look different. Well, what's the matter with you tonight, Dr. Morton? You just look different, that's all. What do you mean? You look swell. I mean, you always look swell, but now you look... Different? Yes. That's just because you haven't seen me all summer. People always look different. Eve? Now, Dr. Morton, I think you better sit over there. Oh, Eve. Now stop being silly. Dr. Morton! Oh, darn it, I missed. Now you sit back and behave yourself. You're acting like a child. I'm just a big, lovable boy. Come on, Eve. Oh, missed again. Don't get up. Well, all right. Eve? Yes, Dr. Morton. I wanted to come over to see you when we were going together, I mean. Of course. You remember the night we went to the school board dinner? We sneaked out in the middle of Hooker's speech and drove out to the reservoir. You were wearing that red dress. That was a long time ago, Dr. Morton. Memories. Yes. Well, I... And those evenings we spent at home here, you'd play the piano and I'd sing. Eve, how about playing one of our old songs? Oh, I don't... Come on, please. Just for old time's sake. It's rock, Lord. Pretty please. All right. Great. Now pull out the piano bench. Thank you. And our song. Why do I love you? Why do you love me? Why should there be two happy as we? Can you see the why or where it should be? The one you care, lucky boy, to come true to be that? Doesn't that song sort of carry you back? Yes, it does. Eve, maybe we made a mistake. Breaking up the way we did. Maybe we could take up where we left off. But don't you think that... They're a lovely woman, Eve. Lovely. They don't come any finer. Marjorie and Leroy think so, too. They need somebody like you. Sir Archmorton, please. Why couldn't we try it again? Sir Archmorton, suppose I said we would. It'd be wonderful. Well... Sure. It'll be just like old times again, Eve. What do you say I pick you up early tomorrow night? Have dinner at the hotel. Go to a movie. Maybe take a ride afterwards. Oh, it sounds nice. But there's a concert at the opera house tomorrow night. I'd plan to go. Okay, concert? Oh. Well, that's all right. Anything you say. The concert's okay with me. It's Beethoven and Brahms. Oh, those fellas, huh? Well, there's nothing like a concert once in a while. Well, I'm glad you don't mind. We'll be going to lots of concerts. Oh. There'll be so many things for us to do. We'll go to lectures. Lectures. We'll take in all the art exhibits. I could just spend hours looking at paintings, couldn't you? Yeah. And in the evenings, we can read books together. Delve into the classics. Plato. Schopenhauer. She... What's the matter, Eve? Oh, strike, Martin, dear. Yes? I want you to know that I'm fond of you. Terribly fond of you. I'm fond of you, Eve. But we're not in love with each other. Well... You see that, don't you? Well, I don't know. Just because you like Beethoven and I like Irving Berlin. Oh, it isn't that. It's everything. We found out the last time it wouldn't work. We're the same people now we were then. You thought I was different now because that's what you wanted to think. You were probably feeling a little lonesome. We all do sometimes. But this isn't the answer, is it, Dr. Martin? Well, no. You're right, Eve. You're always right, darn it. So let's just go on being good friends. Sure. Good night, Eve. Good night. Fuck, Martin! Didn't miss you that time. They killed his label return very shortly. Every day, millions of women all over America serve parquet margarine because it tastes so good. Try it soon. Discover for yourself how good parquet tastes when you spread it on bread, toast, and rolls. See if you don't prefer parquet margarine's fine fresh flavor to any other brand, as millions do. Look first for the margarine of craft quality. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. To market, to market, to get some parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You like it, you love it, like millions will say their favorite margarine is parquet. Parquet margarine, P-A-R-K-A-Y, it's wonderful. Folks, I'd like to suggest that you listen in to the new seal test village store starring my friend Jack Carson with Eve Arden. He'll be broadcast every Thursday over most of these NBC stations starting tomorrow night. Check your local newspaper for time. You know that Jack Carson is a very funny fellow. Good night, folks. This is John Wald saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. Now for another bright spot in the food picture. It's that golden cheddar flavor you add to meals with delicious nourishing Pabstet cheese food. You can serve Pabstet in a variety of ways. Melted with macaroni for attempting cheese casserole dish toasted on sandwiches, or you can chill Pabstet and slice neat wedges for serving with fruit or pie for dessert. Have it handy for all occasions. Ask for P-A-B-S-T-E-T-T, Pabstet cheese food, in golden cheddar or pimento varieties. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.