 Hey everybody, welcome to yet another Procrastinator's podcast interview. Long, long fucking time coming, this one. That's right. I'm finally interviewing the man behind the channel, really. Yeah, the man behind the curtain. Definitely, it's like actually an official position now. You are the manager of the channel. You always kind of were, but now it's like we actually have like a documentation that you get paid to be that guy. That's true. And I am underpaid for all the work I do. But I understand that, and it's a passion project anyway, so I'm cool with it. So what is it with like what the hell is the deal with it? You get these fucking feet away from me, you fucking dude. I got my feet off sticking over his face. Okay, we're the same room by the way. He's visiting my house. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Visiting Cincinnati. Not doing video because this is three fucking hours long. Yeah. And you know. It's a hassle. Who the fuck wants to render three hours? Who wants to look presentable for three hours? That's the real thing. We've got our pants like riding all the way up into our crotches and shit trying to expose as much leg as possible in this 99 degree house. Everyone loves my legs. Check that Aromanga video. Yeah, that's true. People love it. So Nate, you essentially started the PCP. True. You're the one who sort of, I guess we all had this idea that it would happen, that we would have a podcast together. And then we kind of sussed it out. You're the one who sort of took charge, started the channel. And you've been on every episode but one. The one that Nino was on. Yeah. Racist. Nate is a goddamn racist. Yeah, I would have been there too if I had. I was out of town in like Washington or something at the time. And the funny thing about it is that like even though you've kind of been, like even though you run the channel, you've been on every episode. You really have the most investment. I don't think anybody realized it. Like until we started doing the Patreon. Because we created, or you created probably. I did it all man. The table of who all had been on every episode and you're on all of them. We were like, what the fuck? That actually wasn't me. The credit for that goes to the fans, the PCP fan chat. They were the ones who actually made that. It was interesting to look back at it and see how Nate on every single one except for one. So what is it? I want to know why. Like why are you so into the PCP? Because nobody else seems to give a fuck about it. That is true. It's really simple dude. It's really simple. It's that I see all of you guys as incredibly valuable resources that I am interested in maintaining, excuse me, a relationship with for, you know, for whatever purposes. And so, you know, because we've been saying for a long time, we used to have this countless times, but like we are interested in the idea of doing projects together in general. And the PCP is like one just, it's just an excuse to like keep us together. Right. We're just doing stuff and involved in each other shit. Because, you know, as you've seen, like I'm the guy who generally pushes for what little space for collabs there is between us, like in the Monster Musume video and stuff. Yeah. So I'm more than any because, you know, like my dream job is what Red Letter Media does, having a crew running shit, you know, making stuff, like having a, it's like they've got a life living with their friends, doing exactly what they want to do. And I don't know, like they divvy up the work and the profits amongst themselves, and they've got incentives to succeed and play the game well. And that seems to me like the perfect life. So out of purely selfish reasons, I'm interested in keeping everybody together. These people who are very talented, you know, all you guys, and have these skills that many of which I don't have that are, you know, we fill each other's holes and stuff in a very gay way. Yeah. Extra gay. So let me emphasize that. That's right. Please. And that's really the long and short of it, you know. I, because like before the PCP, before we started that, like we weren't doing anything together and we were hanging out in the fan chat, or not just, you know, like a chat that we called procrastinators, and that was fine. But, you know, we've been saying like, hey, would you do a podcast? We should do a podcast. I mean, we had done podcasts together before. The horse cast and whatnot. Which is sort of how we understood that we would all, like the horse cast were great and we all loved them and we all thought that they were worthwhile. So it was like, obviously we could do this together. It was just that someone had to like go through the rigmarole of making a fucking channel and like naming it and doing all that shit. And just knowing that I'm good at actually doing the shit they want us to do. And it was a question of like, how interested is any, like whose channel is this going to be on? And if it's its own channel, how are we going to grow it? Like, is any of our individual audiences going to care? Because there's sort of a push and pull with the PCP where this is like the greatest advantage and the greatest problem with it, it inherently causes people to associate all of us with each other. Right. And this is like, the benefit of that is that, you know, we have lots of cross promotion. If we do collabs and people get it, people can become a fan of us as a group and stuff like that. But then the negative parts are like that we just kind of get sucked into one another's enigma in a way. You know, like there's ways that our channels are all different and they shouldn't necessarily be like having the same viewership and stuff like that. Right, right. And so, in a way, it was a question at times, like especially in the beginning of like, well, I'm friends with best guy ever. If we make a podcast, that makes perfect sense to each of us. Sure. But our audiences might have no idea who one another are. Like, for me, the biggest problem with doing a podcast with you and Jesse in particular is that you guys are very edgy. Not like, intentionally. I don't mean to say like, oh. Like, kill one back in the day that you had to put a big disclaimer at the beginning of. Yeah. Well, just like, what I mean by edgy is like, not like you're going out of your way to be, but just like you guys have no filter. And I had always had like much more of a, you know, I'd never tried to be like politically incorrect to put it simply. Especially back then, because I was coming out of the pony days and I was like, I was borderline SJW in some ways. Not that I, I believe in joking about other stuff. I believe like, hey, I don't have to think this stuff to talk about it. And now I do like insufferable social media argument, which is beyond the impossible level. You've had your journey along this road, yeah. But just because I see it as like, if people don't get it, fuck them. You know, it's not our job to make it understandable for them. But back then, I was like, a lot of my audience isn't going to get this. They're going to hear the constant misogyny jokes and be like, I don't like this and I'm upset that you participated this. Well, you know, I mean, for me, I think a lot of it comes from like my many, many years spent on 4chan. And I'll defend that place till the day I die because I love this little niche community of people who retell their own jokes endlessly. Perfect the art of telling their fucking jokes. And, you know, to, it is fun to have like a little area where, you know, you can make jokes that are incredibly offensive and everyone gets it and everyone's laughing. And that's the thing about, I think the problem with 4chan is when people bring it out of 4chan. Like Jesse hates 4chan to death and he hates everything about it but it wouldn't be a problem if those people were containing it in 4chan. And that's the thing is like, when people defend 4chan they always talk about, oh, the internet's the Wild Wild West. It's the only place where you can be, like everybody can be yourself. It's like, yeah, do that there. That is the Wild Wild West. The rest of the internet has been, it's been homesteaded. You know, people are, you can't, like, the internet is real life now. You know, like Facebook, your whole family's on there, your job is on there and the things you say have consequences in the real world. So like, you've got to deal with that. We'd have to get into the specifics of like the particular issues here because like if the issue is like people are saying shitty things to you in your YouTube comments section, like, what can you do? Like people are always going to be jerks. If it's like them like giving you death threats, like, I mean, that's a different conversation at that point. What I mean really is that, like, it used to be that people saw the internet as a place where you can just be an asshole because it's not the real world. Even I don't subscribe to that. But the internet is the real world now, you know. So it's like, rather than see the entire internet as, oh, it's a place where you can go to be an asshole, no, the internet is the real world. But 4chan is a place where you can just go be an asshole and it should be that way. When I am on 4chan, Don't take it off 4chan. When I'm on 4chan, I am a big shit posting piece of shit who's deliberately out there to make people angry. When I log into my Gaia online account, you know, I'm a delight. I'm a gentleman, a scholar. I'm tipping my fedora all day, you know, when I'm not closing the pool. It's just about, you know, knowing who your audience is, what company you're in and because most of the internet is rampant autism, they don't know about it. I was going to say, it's a lack of social awareness for what you're doing to people who bring that kind of super edgy humor out of the proper context. That's their problem, they're fucking up and, you know, they'll be probably socially punished accordingly. Guys like Jesse will shit on them and tell them to die and whatnot. And, yeah, but like, I do want to talk to you about 4chan because you are a long time 4chaner and I am too. Like, I've never been like a huge memer. I've never been on B, like, at all. I think I went there once and never again. Were you ever a B-tard? I was really never a B-tard at any point. Monkey's probably a bigger B-tard than I am. I don't even think he is. He was like an R9K guy. Yeah, he was, wasn't he? No, I've spent like 90%, 90% of my time on 4chan historically was on V. And V is like B-light in a way. Like, V is the second most popular word. V is at least on topic, though. Well, I mean, the shit poster would disagree. They would complain about those fucking hot-pocket eating mods, not doing their goddamn job, keeping shit on topic. Too many fucking E-celebs, man. Yeah, I've spent... V really is like its own little culture. Well, I mean, that's what I love about 4chan in general. Every board has its own culture. I've got a friend, John, who's a gigantic TV board-goer. And all the time, he'll tell me about these jokes that... I don't know how anyone lives on TV. Monkey's a TV guy, too. They've got their own culture, dude. TV is awful. It seems... Okay, everyone says that... That board, it's like literally... It's literally 50% Bane posting. You're right. And 50% is this Kino. And that's every fucking thread. You're missing the... Oh, God, what's that guy's name? Like, there's that pedophile from the Nickelodeon Network. Like, there's posting about him all the time. I don't know who you're talking about. I mean, Bane posting's a... There's like a... There's a fucking joke. People from TV correct me in the comments. I forget what it is. Third Night Rises came out in, like, 2011. It's become its own universe, dude. It became real, as I think Monkey documented in one of his recent videos. Yeah, the porno parody. Well, the porno... But even more than that, there was an incident of a plane crash with no survivors over Le Bain in France. Oh, yeah. And at the wreckage site, you could see, like, guys who look like Dr. Pawel and CIA in the crowd. And the flight number was for you. So, like, their efforts made this thing real. It became real. It was a... What's the word? It's like a standalone complex. That's... Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. So... But yeah, so you've been on V forever. Yeah. And, oh, I was going to say A, to a lesser degree. Yeah, I've been on A forever. And also Fit. Those are the three boards that I historically went on. Yeah. You worshiped the altar of Ziz. I actually was... I mean, I like Ziz. I respect him. He made some mistakes, which got him killed, unfortunately. What did he die from? Well, he had, like, a heart issue. And he was in a Bangladesh brothel. And he was doing a bunch of, like, speed or something? Of course. Of course. Of course. What better fate for a member of Fit... It's a good way to go. But to die... It's a good way to go. It's fucking taking his feet in a brothel of Bangladesh. And, like, his... So, every Fit, this is why you worship him. Of course. He lived the dream. And he... He died the dream. He died the dream. His heart, like, blew or something. But actually, you know, much more than Ziz... Did he die balls deep? I don't know, man. I hope he died. I don't know. I don't know if that was in the police reports. I'd like to find out, though. I'd like to go investigate with those... You know, Monkey wants to travel to Isla Vista to interview the people to find out what was really going down with Elliot that fateful day. I got to go to Bangladesh and talk some prostitutes for a little bit. But really, Scooby 1961, or just Scooby, is my real fitness hero who I've been watching for many years. He is a god of fitness. He taught me everything I know. Like, the sticky on Fit has a link to a bunch of stuff that's relevant. I read Starting Strength and all that stuff. But Scooby's videos were really what taught me piece by piece. And, you know, I've got a long way to go. So, like, everyone says I'm really fit, but all I see is, like, all the inadequacies I still have in terms of that shit. I can lose 10 pounds. What body are you trying to get? I would, like... Well, I mean, I know he's a meme, but, like, Vegan Gaines has a great body. Or Jack's Blade has, like, a great body. I'd like to get that. Jack's Blade is, like, maximum... Jack's Blade is, like, 3% body fat cut. Yeah. I mean, he's super cut, which is great. I don't know if you're trying to be, like, a cut guy. No, I am going for cut guy. I'm purely interested in these things. Maybe you do have a long way to go. I have no interest whatsoever in, like, functional strength. Just don't give a shit. I'm only interested in looking pretty. So, everybody, if you care about fitness, Scooby 1961 on YouTube, he's a god. Let me tell you the quick pitch for this guy. He cares about fitness incredibly, dedicatedly, his whole life is devoted to it. That's actually not true. He's an engineer, which he... That's, like, actually a great thing about the guy. He's so able to devote his time efficiently between being a fucking engineer, which he's retired of now, and just, like, builds a plane in his garage that he makes videos about, and then fitness, which he does just as a pure passion thing. And he's totally dedicated to doing it all for almost free, as little as possible. Like, he's about getting you fit for free. Unlike those fucking six-pack shortcuts, you know, all those pieces of shit faggots, they're trying to take advantage of people and this craze. Scooby is a fucking philanthropist, trying to better humanity. And he's a hero for doing so. You ever end a Hodge Twins? Actually, yeah, but I usually watch their... I watch a little bit of their fitness stuff. I was always more interested in their... I'm doing the head shake thing. Walls deep! Them sugar walls! Yeah, I have watched a lot of their stuff. I'm blowing up the fucking mic. For fitness a little bit, but Scooby's the best. You can't do better than Scooby. I think maybe part of the reason I've never gotten fit is that the only fitness channel I follow is BroScience. It leads you down a dark path. Yeah. Well, because I had friends who were big into fitness and fit, so I know all these guys you're talking about just from them, but the only one I actually followed was BroScience. BroScience is definitely the funniest one, but he'll put you in... not T-Rex mode, the opposite of T-Rex mode, where you only work out your upper body and don't do legs. Well, he'll also put you into heart attack at 30 mode, because it's all about drinking and doing random shit. Sometimes guys who are intense into fitness can get a little too caught up in the game. You've got to learn to enjoy life sometimes. I'm just saying BroScience's life is there to remind us of that sometimes. Even though he's a big meme, he still serves a purpose, and he's a fit boy. He's funny as hell. Yeah, so you spent all that time on fit. Yep. You've learned how to be a fit boy. More or less, yeah. I'm surprised you're not going for Commina body. Well, don't trust me. I've analyzed Commina's body. Commina is really not that fit. You can get way more fit than Commina's level. Yeah. But I mean, one of my goals in life is to be able to do a decent Commina cosplay. I think you're close. You just need to lose a little mid-section weight. That's true. Yeah, and get a little tan. I'm not doing the tattoos. That's something I think about doing that. I love Commina. I want to be him. He's my hero. That was like... There you go. My brother Victor, like his whole high school career, was I got to get Commina's body and get the tattoos. One of those guys, yeah. You know, I was never... The guy who really got me... I started my whole fitness journey, and I went on and off of it. But it started in really an elementary school. And then I took a couple years off just because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. But like an elementary school, when I saw DBZ. And specifically... Everybody, man. It was Goku. Everybody who grew up on DBZ. Like, what the hell? Yeah, I didn't watch Dragon Ball. I had just seen DBZ. And we were moving around. My parents were moving us around a little bit. And we didn't have cable for a long time. And occasionally, I had seen the show. And when I would go over to a friend's house, I would see the show called Dragon Ball Z. And I was like, what is this thing? This looks crazy. Like, I remember being blown away by the fact that there were like, a story that continued between episodes. Yeah. I was like, that blows my fucking mind, dude. And I just... One day, we finally got cable and was finally able to sit down and be like, oh, so this is what the show is. And it fucking expanded my horizons. I was like, I want to train. I want to be strong like this guy. So the first time I started going to the gym was when I was like... younger than 12, like 10. And I didn't do it very long at that point. But that was when the seed was planted that would bloom to an extent later on. Do you think Dragon Ball Z has done more for fitness than Naruto has done for ramen? Absolutely, yes. Absolutely, yes. I mean, I have never eaten... This is personal, but I have never eaten ramen because of Naruto, but I have worked out because of DBZ. So that's what I think. Well, I have the opposite experience. Oh, really? I've never worked out a day in my life, but I've eaten tons of ramen. The funny thing about ramen was... I don't know how much it was because of Naruto. I didn't even realize that Naruto was like a reference to like a thing in ramen. You would have known that if you read Shonen Jump because they explained it all the time. Well, I mean, I read the Naruto chapters, but I didn't study them. They were all the little in-between shit. Oh, okay, so yeah, I never got the books. I read it all online as soon as I... I got into Naruto kind of late. It was after my whole adult swim phase. What I meant by read Shonen Jump is like the actual magazine that was published in America. That would have explained to me. I remember the day that I realized that there was something funny about Naruto's name and it was when like years and years later it was when Jiraiya dies like way later in the series in Shippuden when Naruto... Yeah, when Jiraiya dies and like there's a flashback to like how Jiraiya came up with Naruto's name and it shows him like eating ramen and he's got like the little stars with the swirls on him that's what a Naruto is. That's still weird to me that that thing is a Naruto because I don't even have that association in my brain. I just think that it's this orange ninja man but it's like oh my god he was like named after a fucking ramen thing and that's why he loves ramen so much. It's all connected. Did you go back to chapter one at all? I had no fucking idea. Yeah man, so DBZ inspired it. Yep. Fit stoked the flames. Now you're a fit boy. But you have... I would say would you say that you're... I mean your origins as a fitness guy are obviously more aesthetic and psychological. Yes. But you talk about fitness more in philosophical terms these days I would say. Sure, sure. Like it's good... like if you want to maximize happiness in your life being a fit is a good way to help. Well in just the general like humans should all be trying to better themselves. Right, sure. But you go on about that kind of stuff a lot like you're a fit boy. Well I mean when I was 10 I wasn't really interested in the future of humanity. Exactly. So I'm curious about like I mean normally with these interviews I sort of towards the beginning go through your whole life. So tell me about where you were born and to whom and why the fuck happened. I don't know how much this will be a repeat from the Ben interview because of course Ben Saint is my older brother. Ben mostly started from like college so if you want to start younger or later I don't know. Well you know okay when I was a kid my parents moved around a bunch and I know Ben was kind of kind of carted along with him but that was when he was very young. By the time I was born we had moved back to or maybe like just after what is the difference in age between you and Ben? Ben and I are about two years different. So yeah right about two years. We had moved back to Massachusetts I think we lived in like Texas for a little bit essentially like where my parents had started from because my dad he's a psychologist and he was working for this company that had like a lot of chains kind of across the country and so you know he just got shipped from a bunch of those around but that company closed down and so he moved back and started his own practice in Massachusetts. So you know I grew up there in this kind of in this town Rehoboth in this little it's kind of pretty rural like there's lots of farms in the town and stuff. It was a big town but like where we lived there was like no kids anywhere nearby so all growing up it was just me and my siblings you know there's me, Ben who's two years older and my sister Grace who's four years younger and so it was pretty much just us and I think it was because we were so kind of isolated that when video games got introduced into our lives and like when I was like five I was big into Power Rangers it was a huge TV guy when video games came along it was like holy shit now I've got this whole thing I can actively participate in that's going to change my life our uncle and my mom had a sister Maggie who died of leukemia when she was young-ish and like her boyfriend Chuck I believe it was his name I haven't seen him in a long time but Maggie's boyfriend Chuck he gave us a original Nintendo console when we were very young in 1994 1995 maybe Super Nintendo's already out but you've got a regular Nintendo it might have been before that I was born in 1990 Super Nintendo came out in like 1989 this whole part of the story is hazy because I don't really remember when these things happened we got a Super Nintendo sometime later and then later on we would get like a Playstation whatever we don't need to go into the specifics of all that but like was introduced to video games to like TV shows specifically like Power Rangers made a big impact on me as well as Transformers so right out of the gate like Japanese stuff was like appealing to me on that level not that either of those is necessarily all Japanese but not all Japanese well you know they're Japanese in origin and Transformers is a Japanese animated shit am I wrong about that it has Japanese animators on it but it's an American show I know like that's where it makes Transformers okay well maybe I'm totally wrong then but Power Rangers at least had its roots in Japan I'm drawing a fucking connection here did you I also grew up on Power Rangers and Beast Wars Beast Wars yes okay cool yeah I don't know I did that for a while I guess in school I was I don't know it was funny when I was like a real young kid and this is probably common I was a little bit more outgoing but when I got older into middle school and high school I started I don't know pull back and stuff a little bit I was more I guess I'm kind of like I am now I was really focused on like achieving the stuff I wanted to do and didn't give a fuck about the people around me what did you want to do as a middle and high schooler I wanted to act I wanted to do films well not films but I wanted to do stage plays and stuff through mostly high school but a little bit well in middle school I started doing chorus and elementary school too through my entire childhood this is something that hasn't really come up much in your content since the pony days but you're a big musicals guy yeah I sure when especially when I was a kid I was really big into musicals and even now you know I've just enjoyed been listening to the music of Hamilton quite a bit oh yeah I do like it a lot it's actually took a little while to grow on me the whole rapping thing just it's not like typical musical fair so it's a little bit different the way I just do it but now that I've been kind of immersed in it I am really enjoying it though it's funny my favorite song in the soundtrack is like what King George sings it's like the only like white song on the soundtrack so it's just like some dude singing like a classical musical and he's like the evil racist like slave driving evil king and he's got the best song in the album of course I do of course that's me to a T right there yeah exactly so you know in high school was really when I started doing bigger stuff and did plays and musicals every single year did a whole bunch of stuff so what are some of your favorite musicals from back in the day I mean I really enjoyed Wicked I saw it on Broadway I went to we took a class trip at one point I think it was with like the musical the performance the theater group we went to New York and saw Wicked on Broadway it was fucking sick it was dope plus this girl who I liked was there totally into it was not into me but she was there and I enjoyed having her near me so that made it a really good time um yeah so that I don't know I just had a really good experience of musicals all through high school I fucking love Jesus Christ Superstar Jesus Christ that's the meme song but there's better ones it's not a meme it's a good song okay that's a good song that's the Overture the opening song exactly that one me too fuck Judas is such a fucking badass Jesus do you something something yeah watch it the backwood jazz it's such a strange land you'd have managed better if you'd had a play at one now you're doing the meme song oh fuck you're right that's a reprise from the opening song I think in the meme song god damn it I can't fucking remember how it goes Judas like being like Jesus why are you fucking up they're gonna get mad at you Jesus listen won't you something in my hand all the houses that I want us to live and remember I've been your right hand man all along you have set the world on fire they think they found the new Messiah but they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong Judas is fucking dope in that musical like the ones in the 70's probably ones are kind of shitty I saw it I saw the newer Jesus Christ superstar where it had the original Jesus but everyone else is younger that guy's been playing Jesus for like a thousand years I think he finally retired a little while ago but yeah he's been into it I saw him with that which was pretty good except that Judas was white and I was not okay with that Judas had to be black Judas is evil so he has to be black oh I apologize for that one that's beyond the line hey joke why do black people have light palms cause there's a little good in everybody there you go folks enjoy that one I've actually heard that one from real racists uh oh I'm in trouble now I'm just playing fam I'm just playing I really have heard that from real racist people you see that's the trouble of being such a big 4chan guy I make a lot of racist jokes and they're 100% ironic I mean if you just listen to stuff I'm passionate about philosophically it's completely contrary to all this racist shit it's just so funny it is so funny to offend people so yeah there you go it's funny especially because I'll say all that kind of stuff but I do it with total self-awareness of the idea that this is going to offend someone and you always do it in this way that's just like you can't even understand that someone would get offended yeah that's true you're always kind of shocked when people are like actually mad about something I just wish everyone were chill I wish that I suppose I'm a little naive when it comes to that anyway so you in high school big into musicals, theater trying to become a theater boy yeah just and I was there for really just the sheer enjoyment of performing on stage were you ever like a main guy I was a main guy the entire time I was by far the best male singer of the group and was always the lead man every single time did any popularity come with that yes as a matter of fact in high school I had a fan club as it happens they were a bunch of well I don't want to shed on them but I think they would agree they were kind of a creepy group of like 3 girls no offense to them and you didn't manage to fuck any of them but let's just say that I made a few mistakes along the way in terms of being a pussy here I'll give you one there was one time when my friend Jillian in high school came up to me and said Nate look at me famously I had really long hair down to my waist like all throughout high school so this is and I wore these sick kingdom hearts arm bands one with the nobody symbol and one with the heartless symbol yeah dude four years I can only laugh because even Victor had the same exact high school life identical he also was in theater and got popular because of it I never got really popular but yeah I mean he was also like a quiet dude who nobody really talked to but then his most famous moment was like he did a play they were doing some shitty drug PSA play or whatever and nobody was taking it seriously but people in the audience weren't just talking over it the whole time and Victor just like snapped and gets up and like lectures the audience on how they like you know I know like look none of us care about this either but you can at least have respect and like you know like listen to the thing and he became like famous after that like an incident or something hey man those what is the word I'm looking for taking charge moments you know that's what makes you a man but he also had long hair and wore like a black trench coat so I mean like he looked like he could be in section 13 or whatever organization 13 my I don't know I mean I've talked about this before but famously there was a pivotal moment in my life that made me like this weirdo introverted guy I also was in like marching band through all college through all high school and stuff but I was deeply anti-social and it was all because of this fucking movie one of my favorites of all time vampire hunter D bloodlust vampire fucking Hunter D bloodlust changed my life in the worst way it made me think like oh my god D is such a fucking badass all I need to do is be like because like all the bitches and all like the men in that shit are like he's so he's so stoic he's such a fucking badass he never says anything he's a half vampire so like he has a magnetism that like literally mind control people to fall in love with I didn't get that I didn't realize that just being quiet in the corner all the time and like thinking you were such a badass would like not do anything alone I know that was my problem right there so I spent my high school days it had some weird effects on me um but yeah I was just like I decided to stop talking in class because I wanted to be though you know to be fair some of this might just be an internal rationalization for legitimate shyness that I don't want to cop to it's possible that's true too I can't I really don't know but that movie sure felt like a turning point in my life after I watched that it was too good it was too fucking good dude they brought to the uh is a crime it's a crime it owes me my sex life on high school back I want that back so you spent all that time trying to be cool and mysterious and it backfired did I mention that you know in addition to the Kingdom Hearts wristbands I wore weighted leg bands with like weights to make me strong at all times did you learn that from DBZ yeah sure did I was copying Goku I did a lot of that did you too yeah a lot of times I thought like oh like instead of like you know like working out I'll just have like some kind of innate training going on by like wearing something heavy a little bit I mean these were like five powders and then uh the thing was they were full of sand and like as I walked because I wore them all the time they would get worn out and the sand would start to leak and like people be like where's this sand coming from and I just I don't fucking know dude I have no idea where the sand's coming from you're gonna have to ask somebody else about that it was fucking great it was pretty good so so anything else you want to share about your early life or you want to move into college yeah anything else of interest oh I didn't finish that story about that girl that one time yeah it was just that so my friend Jillian came up to me and said I'm gonna take a piss you can just keep talking okay I'll probably do that at some point too there was a time when you see right so my friend Jillian walks up to me and says Nate look over there at that girl standing in that doorway and I did and there was a you know an attractive blonde curly haired girl standing there and she said Nate that is Jess and she likes you she wants to date you she said these like this was the time when God was giving me my chance and and I looked over I made eye contact you know actually in my in nope I did not make eye contact I was too much of a pussy I looked at her I looked her up and down I said okay and then I turned back and started reading my fucking animorphs or whatever again that's that's how I handled that situation which is just indicative of my social skills in general I have a lot of stories like that from all of my school I just really remember this one because it was so clear like Nate yeah right there's your chance we're giving it to you and I just you know I just I'm such a different guy than I was back then different different times man thank God thank God we're all different thank God none of us are like our high school I would not have been a fun person to hang out with in high school need me neither you know to this day I'm still kind of weirdly moody sometimes like my reaction to being mad at people will be to walk outside and just stand there and wait for hours until they come out and say mate what's wrong I mean not so much anymore but like seeing you in I've seen you in like just kind of this low simmer mode of like just annoyance remember the time there's an like there's just a thread of annoyance boiling on to the surface and you just can't quite talk to anybody that happens I've seen that that happens um remember at Radcon to when I started cleaning obsessively yeah that that was one of those that was how I chose to express my first I don't even remember what it was about but some frustration I just started walking around was like I started cleaning I didn't talk to anyone I just started cleaning up and everyone was like what's happening what's going on here yeah they were like Nate do you want some help and I'm like yeah sure uh you feel like helping I yeah you know I've got it but if you want to help sure and uh and then other people joined in yeah I don't know that's just how everybody felt guilty yeah like they hadn't cleaned up and you were doing I guess it's kind of a passive aggressive thing I do to avoid confrontation which I wish I could change about myself but hey I've been working on it I'm working on it yeah um so that's high school I guess so that's pretty much so what would you study in college what did I study in college um oh right when I started college my plan was to become a doctor because I really liked blackjack blackjack was like again my major life choices controlled entirely by anime since birth um I was like blackjack is so cool I want to be a doctor at least you had patrician taste that's true that's true there's two characters like you weren't just trying D and blackjack yeah I mean you had DBZ as a kid and that's fine everybody gets DBZ everyone needs an entry point but at least you weren't trying to be like Sasuke or something true man you had like fucking D and blackjack we're both bad asses not bad yeah they are both classic 90's OVA why did 90's OVA for blackjack why had you seen so many 90's OVA's as a teenager shit man I saw them all on on demand they weren't available on any channel but they were on on demand for some reason and why were you allowed to buy on demand movies they were free if they weren't free I never would have seen that shit me and my siblings spent a ton of time when we were young watching shit on demand on our fucking TV cable plant and thank god I mean I never would have gotten into anime in like the big way that I have now cause those were like stuff that you could maybe find at blockbuster but it'd be hard I never paid for shit to this day I don't buy any anime I don't do any of that I don't support the industry at all yeah why are you so into that philosophy if not it's not a okay I'll tell you why I'll explain this right now so I don't buy any anime ever and it's not like I'm opposed to it but I just wouldn't even think about buying any of them and it's entirely because it is so easy for me to get them through like you know torrents and stuff I've just developed such a rhythm of doing it that way that it is way harder for me to do something like even search crunchyroll for a show I want to watch even if it's free it is easier to me to get it downloaded and just have the file on my computer I mean crunchyroll aside the only reason I use crunchyroll is that I find it easier than torrenting because when I want to watch something it's always spur of the moment and I just want to put it on and it be there I don't want it to wait for a download but like that is a hassle but like the only reason I would ever pay for anime now is just to put money into the industry you know and like anime aside because honestly I don't think your money goes anywhere like I don't blame you for not paying for anime but like well if it's like an album or something or like patreon you've never given to a patreon or anything I have never patroned anyone ever at any point and is it just a philosophy of like like if you had lots of money would you start doing it like super rich and had no monetary concerns I'd be happy to give away my money I would totally give it to the people who I think are doing like good work and deserve let's say in a year and a half this is my prediction this is my very optimistic happy prediction for you things are going pretty good right now let's say in a year and a half your student loans are completely paid off you're living entirely off of patreon you're living entirely off of patreon let's say you're making let's say you're making fucking generous say you're making four grand a month are you paying for new people? absolutely not no one not a chance and I'll tell you why it's because that is not a level where I'm like 100% set I would need to be a millionaire probably before I'm like comfortable giving away any money and it's all it all comes back to the fact that if I can get away with not paying for something I will do it I am entirely motivated by a desire to have as much resources as my disposal as I possibly can and like my survival and my well-being comes first because I'm a big guy who's into self-improvement and self-reliance not like fucking over people to advance yourself that I'm completely against but just bettering yourself is the way you can better the world is my philosophy I mean I probably take this to an excessive degree with my like never patron anyone just have no interest in that if the money went 100% to that person I'll tell ya I would be 10 times more likely to do it than the fact that any of it gets snagged up by Patreon I don't give a fuck about the Patreon people they're fucking suits I don't give a shit even though they put on that millennial face so do you ever feel like guilty about the fact that you profit off of the existence of anime and you don't put anything into it or anything like that no I don't feel guilty about it at all but I would like to contribute I would like to or like any of the youtubers who were a huge influence like if Mr. Beetong opened a Patreon would you consider or just like if you just had a PayPal donate link would you just like throw him $15 I'll tell you this I would never do it just like I'm feeling like donating to Mr. Beetong today if Mr. Beetong was like to be a full time youtuber I need to make $100,000 you know whatever I need to raise that much for this project I'm thinking of that would tempt me much more if there's like a you ever give into a kickstarter or anything never never I'm super frugal I don't give money to anyone fuck everybody else I mean I just to describe to the audience like I think you make the at least the second most amount of money in the PCP at this point yeah at this point like yesterday to today so that's I don't just mean on Patreon I mean like all together like amount of money you make I have a real job that's like I could live on my normal job for the rest of my life happily right I mean I don't I don't know how much you want to say any specific numbers to try to figure out if you make more than me or not I don't feel the need to do that let's leave it ambiguous as to which of us is doing better that'll be more fun to speculate well the point is that I'm in your house right now and it is very clear to me that you are living well below your means like you can easily afford a much better place I'm just going to describe to you this is the interview but I'm going to describe the stuff that you want Nate's entire apartment is three rooms and a bathroom and a bathroom that are all in a row so it's like you start off in like a little living room area no door is either no doors in the house so it's a little living room it goes right into the bedroom with a bathroom in the middle and then right into the kitchen all the same size all about let's say what how long I don't know maybe like 40 to 50 feet long is that accurate what you mean the whole house right you're talking about length right yeah I was talking about one room I'm trying to think about square footage I got no fucking idea I did not know each rooms probably like a small ish room 8 by 12 feet or something high ceilings I guess I don't know anyway point being it's in like this kind of rinky-dink apartment in a shitty apartment complex yeah definitely like the like it's weird that parts of it don't seem so bad and other parts do well it looks like shit but then out front it looks fine yeah but anyways like yeah it's kind of a shitty neighborhood shitty apartment yeah you can hear other people I'm sure other fucking hear us yeah you've got there's not a lot of like furniture or anything like it's it's very bare bones your like the your trip here has motivated me to actually get some furniture yeah so consider like half of what I got now just not here before you got here yeah more or less my chair my chair you're sitting on right now is a car seat from my car yeah so that brought in a couple of car seats so that was for me like you brought those in no way guy was coming yep that's right so so I'm sitting in a car seat it's comfy though right that's a good car and where did that other like you bought a new bed and I'm sitting on your old I well you know in fair I had to mean to get a better bed just like mine was it's like a it's a twin that's like the small I could not imagine that being my like but you know like a week like like that makes sense to me as a guest bed but the thought that you were sleeping on that full time and you could easily afford a real we could go that was my permanent bed for the last like one and a half years that's my bed I sleep on like a thousand dollar not me do you know twin size this thing with this mat my good bed here size mattress my good mattress is like was like 240 bucks and I was like fuck I don't pay this much for a fucking mat do you not have any back issues or anything I'm fine I don't know maybe it's because you work out maybe it makes it easier I was thinking about that earlier like I was sitting on your bed and I was like is that is that bad shitty is that bad it's not bad it's just that like I get bad back like I had like a really bad back pains because I was on like just an average mattress and in an average chair when I literally sit or lay all day to do my job so I bought like the nicest bed in the nicest chair and no more back problems but I suspect if you're healthy and you work out you don't have as many as any probably helps helps I mean that's the thing like like it your house is super Spartan but like it makes sense for you're comfortable here like you don't care you're not even a little concerned about it this was the like yeah as soon as I found this place this met my requirements it's got internet that actually wasn't as good as I was hoping for but it's still everything I need which that was like 90% of my concern with getting the price internet it's in an area that as dude you should have seen some of the place I was scoping out they were like shit like garbage like I crack dealers seemed like they would be infesting the woodwork I didn't see any but they would have been there if I had been there at night this this is like a decent neighborhood compared to the place I was looking at but all I was concerned about was just like as low rent as possible you know has the the bare minimum it's got this place is nice by comparison I'm happy with it I don't know it's it's great in winter it's just that it's below what would be my standard of living I see your point that's my thing so that's the kind of guy that we make about the same amount of money it's because it's because all my money all I give a shit about doing is getting on that grind making them videos and paying off my student loans right that's what I'm that's what I'm all about so if you if you let's say you pay off your student loans tomorrow sure they they magically go away you leave your job like because you live so frugal do you really need that much money on patreon like because Ben is similar to you in that Ben lives extremely frugally but then a different way but Ben like because of that Ben only needs to make like $400 a month and like he he's okay with that because he's you know but you're kind of similar except that you want to have all this overhead money I got ambition for expanding operations all over the place I want to studio space because I do shit in my room here which is perfectly fine it's good but I want like a studio where I can have all my shit ready to I can go and make things whatever I want and that would probably be in a separate location from my house yeah man and like I'll tell you like I'm not as well actually I made a big post on my patreon today and you are a patron so I read it yeah so you know that like I'm not going to drop everything as soon as I make like the amount that I'm asking for that is the goal for like survivability and that's I'll probably change the monthly soon so that's going to change as well but like I'm looking for like a middle class lifestyle like that is really what I'm shooting for and right now with my current job I basically make that so I'm hoping to like emulate that because even though I personally am willing to live super spartanly the bitches don't come for free you gots to have the green to make the scene and that's not a joke I want to have a place that will impress women because that is what you have to do you got to do it if you want to play the game that's what you need so um yeah there you go I need to make a certain amount of money to have the certain kind of lifestyle that I'm looking for and like I want to be able to go out and do things you know I don't want to live like I did during me and Maffifa all the time just like only focused on turning out content every single day it'd be nice to have some time off that's the world I'm trying to escape right now yeah like I'm at your house because I'm trying to find a way out of this literally all I do is make videos and I salute you for it's exactly the right thing to do yeah um so but let's say tomorrow your patreon makes exactly what you make it work do you leave your job the only reason the answer is no is because patreon is inherently volatile and I'm afraid that that would change there's no job security with patreon let's say I would build up some savings first let's say patreon tomorrow is making a hundred and fifty percent of what you make it work do you leave your job I mean that's great but what I would I would definitely build up some savings first I would I mean plus I gotta pay off my student loans I'm not doing anything till I pay those off in terms of you know quitting my job and shit so I'm doing that then I'm building up like I don't know the number but I'm gonna save up some money because like you know as you can tell I'm an extremely careful planner frugal guy yeah I want security that is the defining characteristic of best guy ever in my in my head is extreme planning I really think that the people say this but I really think it's true I am if you've seen my girl and login video I am a Ross you who desperately desperately wants to be a coming out that's just and I'm just not that guy yet maybe one day maybe one day I'm gonna take this opportunity to take a piss oh well that was fast well whatever let it this out totally talking about how cool my new glasses are uh Nate got some cool new glasses yeah I'm not actually in front of the microphone yet haha crank your volume audience yeah I hey is still oh good thing you don't pay for this content anyways fuck you haha I wonder if they can hear you pissing because you've left the door open it's weird having a guest yeah it doesn't matter I'm gay so I will look at your pp quality content this is high quality high quality content me a math of a never ends me a math of a never ends 50 oh it's only been 51 minutes holy shit we haven't gotten to college yet these interviews are always like you never realize how long 3 hours is until you limit haha anyway what I was about to say yeah like no one can really appreciate the level of planning you do unless they work with you dude that's entirely true and the thing is like have you seen my new the final me a math of a yet yeah okay so you saw the ending yeah I watched it today so in the ending I announced like the ghost in a shell thing which is hype as fuck and it's great and like it's this goddamn pixel animation and I have told exactly zero people that I commissioned that like a year ago yeah I knew I said did you know have I said yeah I've seen the pixel animation when you first got it made okay I probably did for for hyper just to show you and Ben yeah that sounds right um but I mean I've shown like no like I've got several of those things right now that are like various projects in the video parts of this video were filmed two and a half fucking that's it was it's it's getting close to well the one over two years ago what the one piece one was right the one piece one was filmed approximately one point eight years ago and the ghost in a shell one was filmed two point one years ago I think that's about right okay so over two years ago yeah you filmed footage for this thing yeah and over a year ago you commissioned all this pixel art animations for this thing that's right and it's still in the woodwork and it's not like I've been fucking around at all it's that I have a I had to finish my goddamn degree and my fucking full-time job I forgot you were working on that degree until like a couple months ago yeah when I finished it in January it was when it was finally done for for final yeah holy shit I forgot you were still in school just for context people remember not have been possible before the time it happened absolutely not like I couldn't have a couple months ago I guess but not by much yeah yeah so to just give it like perspective like the way I do content is I have an idea and then I write a script there's no note taking there's no planning except for when I do like if I go into a show and tending to write about it I might take a bunch of notes but it's at best like a white board full you know you will come into like a podcast with pages I mean if you guys have watched if you if you've watched the live action Aromanga podcast you'll see that Nate had four pages of printed notes granted lots of space that you should that could have probably fit on a page and a half but like yeah he comes in with shit loads of notes you know always doing like double checking prep I think you always read the one piece chapters more than once for potty cast that's right sometimes you'll even go back and read older chapters just to be completely sure that you remember what you're talking about that's 100% accurate um yep the fucking kingdom hearts lecture yeah you spent like three hours just drawing that whiteboard had and it didn't turn out great it looked great yeah I mean you had to make sure I was you probably spent half an hour just recreating the fucking logo at the top I that that's true that didn't take a while I wanted that to be good and like had like extensive no like it's just yep it's it's just funny to see the way you work because like you know yeah I can watch you do all that mm-hmm and then you'll have like me and Jesse who will literally sit down in front of a camera and just stream of consciousness a bunch of bullshit and like yeah do you think it's how much of the note taking do you think is like that you have to do it and how much of it is just confidence boosting it depends on what the topic is like every PCP you know I'm like the biggest talker on the PCP and I don't do any preparation for that stuff I you know that's that's like that's like my fun that's what I do for fun so I I'm able to do that sort of stuff when I want to but like I don't go into my main projects and I guess that projects into like the Aromanga stuff like I have a philosophy where I really hold myself to a high standard of like accuracy because I think about like what what I ask for other people when they're talking about a show is I don't want people to be fucking or if you're talking about Aromanga and you're criticizing Aromanga I expect you to know your shit I expect you to be accurate and to a certain extent I think guys like you and Jesse are just like better at understanding things quickly and easily whereas I think I need I always think of in Bakuman I always think of I'm more like Ashiro Yamuto the guys who think they describe like they are not the the our tours they are the hard worker think about things over a thousand times I mean if we're going to bring up the Bakuman things like I I read through it in 2014 and was constantly comparing everybody to the PCP and you and Ben were Muto Ashirogi especially as you were actually working together at the time that's right like both of you definitely have the philosophy of like you know coming to meet the audience and like just working extra extra hard and like it's not about like to you it's about making videos not necessarily about what the videos are I'm interested in telling a story and like in my in my case like the anime is my medium to tell my story or to like make a point but it's like you you're not doing it in like this idea of like I have a grand vision from the beginning I mean you you sometimes sometimes I would say that the way you create videos is like I don't want to say based on a template but it's like you look at what is like what even is a YouTube video and then you like make that kind of you know I suppose like like like the girl in the gun was heavily influenced by that Mr. B tongue video that you have much respect for you know and like me and math of us like this idea of let's try to make this more easily made and consumable content that could come out every day you know it's it's more about this like experimentation than it is about creating the specific video which is like the opposite of Jesse where Jesse is like doesn't care what YouTube is he just wants to make his thing like whatever exactly how he came up with it you know kind of why he doesn't have the YouTube success well you know I would argue that I have become more in tune with that as I've gone on that I I feel a lot like Jesse a lot of the time when I'm making content but you know I mean my recent success starting with Galco you know that was me playing the game of YouTube more I mean the video itself was when I'm making an idea for video I'm really at that point not thinking about what YouTube wants out of it I am I you know when I was writing that script for example I was only thinking like I watched Galco wow was really good had these thoughts about it wrote them down I'm sure there was some you know decision making as to like what to include you know based on it's gonna be a fucking video so I gotta put the shit in it that makes sense but it's it's after the video is really the writing and editing are done to amuse me you know and I mean that video had an editor a snooping turtle oh god I hope I got that right and he did great work he was wonderful to work with but I was approving like every step of the way he would show me like a minute it was like how is this good and I would be like okay tweak these things so you know I was involved in the whole process there and it really like the whole point of that video was kind of to get to that end shot and to like make that little speech at the end like I make entertaining videos as an excuse to lecture people about things I think yeah that's really what it comes down to and I'm gonna find a way to do it no matter what that's what I'm interested in in YouTube like YouTube is my way to feel like I'm making a difference in the world in a way that I enjoy which is great but but just to get back to the original point here I I felt like for a long time I wasn't making content that was really working with YouTube very well like the girl like in part 2 I was definitely like I was doing something very similar with Mr. B tongue had done but I don't feel like I was copying him I just felt like my ideas were all inspired by it and I mean like at the time there was definitely and we all in the PCP had this and and still do to some extent though it's waning away as time goes on we had this intense respect for like what we saw as the ultimate type of video which was the 45 minute in-depth highly edited analysis that covers everything like that was kind of what we we worshiped you had a cantaloupe wedding by Anthony C was like your favorite and the Mr. B tongue video that climax is fucking unbelievable the classic Mr. Plinkett videos the Star Wars reviews that we all sort of look up to Egoraptor Sequelitis which was my big one you know in the beginning so like all of us could kind of gotten into analysis videos by way of these gigantic epic 45 minute highly edited videos and we all did ours you know I did the sort of online videos YMS another good example I did the sort of online videos in the Astroscore Jesse did Movie Bob another hero of ours I'm joking I don't I mean really that good is kind of this kind of video I actually have no idea what his content is like I just hear people shit on him so that's what that joke is based on I actually did take a lot of influence from Movie Bob in your physique hey hey hey hey fat and dangerous fat man is gross he's pretty fat and dangerous himself especially to those fucking men's rights piece of shit watch out for Bob Chippman fuck you up anyway you did the girl in the gun video Jesse had like the the horseshoe reviews and the horseshoe finale and like that was kind of like at the time just the atmosphere of what we thought like a youtube video was supposed to be and like because we liked it so much we thought surely this is what everybody wants Matthew Matosis was out by this point um and then like there was just kind of a moment where it became apparent that no one wants that anymore well you know it's funny that you're saying it this way like these things I think were apparent to you and the rest of us I think you've always been ahead of the curve when it comes I mean because this is what you do you're a youtube guy on you know in serious ways right of course and to some extent and uh like you know like the galco video was titled and thumbnailed the way it was because basically of your suggestions you know and it worked incredibly well if I had just called that best anime ever oh shit the galco Chan would not have worked would not have happened and Mia Maffova was that was me saying like what I'm doing is just really not working the way that I wanted it to like I wanted like if I had kept doing what I was doing you know to that degree and maybe I'll fuck up and keep going and go back to that but I'm gonna have it just fucking ended I gotta emphasize this to the audience the PCP like the concept of us as a group is that we're youtubers like we are friends who are youtubers and a lot of what we talk about is how we're doing our jobs like I don't know what like it's hard for me to imagine what other people think we do in the PCP like is it just a I don't know what's the word bursto link yeah we're all just bursting and I mean yeah we have lots of just casual conversations and shit around but like I would say especially for for a long time the bulk of what we talked about was youtube like what we're doing how we're doing it what we should be doing sharing ideas and advice and stuff like that because when it's going bad and yeah bitching about commenters it's like probably 80% all the interactions we've had anyway like but the point like the reason we're all friends is that we're doing the same job and it's a weird job that not a lot of people have and so there's not so many people you can relate to about it and like yeah sort of when we all stopped doing pony and we moved out into our own channels we all kind of we're doing our own thing in a way and it was very much like let's share notes like how is it working for you it's not really working for me why is it working for you oh I'm doing this oh well you know I don't know if I want to do that you know and like a lot I would say the last year or so has been a lot of me growing more and more successful and going guys this is what I'm doing this is what I'm doing and everybody else going I don't know man I can probably make it without doing that but then a year later going okay I didn't make it doing that so you're really describing me not just you like Jesse and Hippo are very like Jesse started up not a review essentially for that reason not committed to I think but it's Jesse knows Jesse knows what to do though I think Jesse just he feels like an anger that he has to change to adapt to YouTube whereas I am not and also it's just that his life is so all over the place that he Jesse will just blink off the map for a month you know and like you can't do that it's tough to schedule things when you're he'll come in and do like a whole month of perfectly tailored YouTube content but then he'll stop for a month he would say that like a lot of that recently was due to his basement oh yeah I mean that's what I'm saying his life situation is always the main reason Jesse the man goes through hard times you know but like it's because he never just fully commits to I'm going to be a YouTuber now he'll do it for a little while I mean he still goes on about like I can't wait to escape this fucking hellhole yeah he hates YouTube you know so like but like he also if you look at the way his thumbnails and titles have changed over time you can tell he's trying to do the thing for you is I like my Japanese anime some of those he works I mean you know for YouTube he works too hard on them but like as putting that aside the length is great those are really good videos and like even he acknowledged like that was his most successful channel he's always said that my Japanese anime is the one he wants to protect from his bullshit right he tries his hardest to make sure nothing that gets posted there is completely retarded so far so good I think yeah yeah but but it's definitely been like a thing amongst the PCP that like I've been kind of being like guys we have to change the only person who like immediately did it is Jeff who then passed everybody like like if you look at the early Jeff videos like whatever you see as a difference in the titles and thumbnails I taught him that he just took it farther than I was willing to you know like respect that to some degree he's even even worse than that is Lachlan still who is a monster I don't know if you watch the pedantic romantic at all oh right I forget that that's the same guy he's blowing up you know he blew up because he's using like the dirtiest tactics because he loves it because he sees it as like he's a Jeff type I guess dude he literally will make like videos that have nothing to do with Sword Art Online and like he made one that's called Sword Art Online it's not what this video is about and it's literally just a review of a different show 20,000 views because Sword Art Online is in the title. That's the next level shit yeah he doesn't give a single fuck you should it's free it's literally free I'm not going to do it I can't do it you don't even have to make it actually about Sword Art Online just give it a title it says Sword Art Online. I don't know if I have it in me it's literally free views and like Lachlan took it to such a fucking extreme but I mean this is basically just like everyone taking the stuff that I was preaching just going even farther with it you know that's great and all and then that's totally cool but one thing I wonder about is if everyone's just copying you all the time with the bubble break I think well that's why I love me I'm half of us so much because when I look at Jeff I think Jeff's got a big problem where he shills so much and everyone really hates it and he doesn't I don't know if it's just because he has enough people who like him anyways that I mean you know I have lots of people who hate my videos people who turn on me so a couple of heroic youtubers outfinding the crusade against the egotistical Digibro yeah yeah yeah there's a couple of valiant youtubers who are fighting the great battle who is this enigmatic man I just don't know but but like you know Jeff definitely has an issue where like he's gotten to a point where there's a significant amount of his fan base who like hates him now his fan base you're saying yeah like people who are big fans who are leaving him because they can't take the shilling and they can't take the the constant YouTube algorithm playing you know like I do it I even tell people I'm doing I give people the blueprint of how to do it like me that self awareness goes a long way yeah exactly and like and the fact that I I'm like telling people how to do it and then not doing it a lot of the time right makes people think you have integrity right whereas Jeff like people don't think he does you know because he's not being open about it and he's and he's going so far and with with Lachlan I mean he's obviously just having fun and he's trying to grow his channel as big as as fast as possible he's trying to also leave you know be a full-time youtuber but like I can see him adapting changing with the times but like what's so great about me in Mavva is that you basically did it without copying me without being it without copying anybody like me in Mavva most of the videos are totally... well some would argue Phantano was ripped off at a time or two I mean you definitely... fuck you melon head this is my shit now you copied plenty of little things from other people but like there's some stuff in there the fucking Final Fantasy songs video I can't believe I've never seen someone do that before like just seeing the background music of their video that's the funny thing about me I am a genius but I am such a perfectionist that all my genius ideas get bottled up and they don't come out which is why somebody like me in Mavva is such a great thing for a guy like me well it's such a good testing ground cause like I watched that video and like I don't think it worked just because the picture was too close the mixing was fucked yeah it was messed up but like I was like but this is a formula you could do with anything like you could have a whole channel that's just this you know like uh like I'm thinking about Smooth McGroove that dude's been around for like five years now and he makes one kind of video which is a dude singing acapella in eight different screens like me and Mavva there's probably about seven video templates in there in total and any one of those could have been a whole channel right you know like you could have a whole channel of super energetic workout guy reviews random manga yeah you could have a whole channel of like Nate does let's plays or whatever the great thing about it uh yeah that's really cool I do like that about it and the great thing is people are really starting to get invested in me as a person as a creator and they see legitimately that I like I'm not I'm not fucking around I've got a lot of fucking ideas that I want to share with people it was really the Angels Egg video that where I like where it was like it was all crashing down on me like that I was like oh my god I didn't realize that I desperately want a video from Nate every day like yeah like because I just have always thought that you would never do this like the whole time I've known you you've been the perfectionist guy the I spent six months on a video guy and all those videos are great but like I don't know I guess when you see someone doing that you kind of assume that the like the amount of time spent is a consequence of the greatness like like you couldn't make a great video in three days you have to put in that much work right and then seeing me in Mavva was like no this guy could do it like he could you could put up videos as frequently as I do and they'd be at least as good as mine you know so like yeah that was kind of the thing and it was Angels Egg that brought that on me that I was like he's just talking unscripted about this movie and I'm super interested you know like especially because it was a movie that I'm sorry for talking so much through Nate's interview not that any audience expected this is relevant yeah but everyone knows what to expect but and I talked to you about this right fucking demolition D two years ago announced he was going to do an Angels Egg analysis and he was working on it and like this dude talked he talked about it forever he was like it's one of his favorite movies and I watched Angels Egg in like 2008 yeah while like barely awake and like I didn't understand any of it right I just was like well that was fucking weird she was I had no idea what happened right I mean I thought it was cool but no real opinion I just went oh it's another Mamoru Oshii thing because they're all like that so quirky yeah so like he's saying he's going to do this and I was super hyped for it I was like dude fuck yeah because he's only really done like one serious analytical video which was the Eva versus Rebuilds right which was a great video series was like man I'm so hyped for demo to get like legit again you know and he was talking about it and then he kept putting it off to do other things to do like fucking Himoto and Motochan who the fuck cares that video is a little bit of a disgrace no I take it back I'd love you demo please come back I worship you but like he'll come back and do like a little thing here and there and then he just like blinks off the map and the thing is I was following his twitter and he was like he literally can he's gone he's gone been over a year since his last video yeah and he doesn't even tweet anymore or live really no he's still live streams that's not true yeah he does stream well he for a while like he was talking about the angels egg video on twitter and he was like posting screen caps of like I guess there was some kind of compression problem with this video so it kind of had like artifacts in it oh so he gave up on the project yeah like a pussy like like he couldn't figure out how to encode the video right and like I think he lost some of it at some point and then just like gave up and then I would feel the temptation to give up at a point like that yeah and I even like brought it up to him in like Nino's live streams that he was in I was like hey when's the angels egg video coming he's like uh I don't know man like and so I'm sitting here like two years later like I really wanted this video because no one else has stepped up and explained angels egg yep and I've had people ask me to do it if you like hey you ever thought about doing a video on angels egg and I've told them demos working on one so I'm not going to do it because he's going to do it and he already has like if I just go watch this movie and like try to make an analysis like who's to say if I'm even going to find the real meaning of it like this dude clearly found something meaningful and that's why he wanted to make a video which you also did I mean a full disclosure I did research to understand what was going on it's not like I understood it immediately but you watched it and desperately wanted to understand like as soon as I finished I was like I need to know what the fuck is going on because you care a lot about Yoshitaka Amano's art yeah you are obviously very this is the best Yoshitaka Amano film so and bloodlust the one that ruined my life is another one and I'm saying this one's better so there you go did you ever watch it thousand one nights no but I really want to I will one time at some point but yeah so so you come out with this video and it's like are you saying it's better than angels egg I'm just I'm just totally no no no okay it's just pure it's like no narrative whatsoever it's just like crazy animation knowing that going in it sounds great oh yeah it's like 20 minutes of nonstop insane Yoshitaka Amano it looks like he animated it himself that's what's good like seriously seriously but but but um you know you make this video and like it's just a vlog yep but I didn't understand this movie and now I do yep so to me that was worth as much as demos video ever would have been like yeah yeah this is not all the all the holding reviews like whacking yourself off animating the like fucking words moon on the screen who the fuck gives a shit yeah exactly no no no hate on you holden I just think you're wasting your time with that shit dude total hate on you holden I'm not I got no hatred for the guy um anyway like yeah like sure it's not like a super rewatchable like piece of art youtube video yeah but I got something out of anyone who wants to watch a fucking youtube video what the fuck angels egg is about by the way uh if people commented and as I was doing other research like there are alternate interpretations like there's this whole thing about how you really can make a strong case for how the anime is like and it's not like it excludes like my interpretation at all it's just like there's multiple layers here you can also say that it's all about like masculine and female relationships and you can say like it's this woman it's this little girl like protecting her egg and then like a strong man comes along and like shatters it robs her of like with a huge giant fucking you know schlong and like then she immediately like turns into an adult dies and then like eggs are produced so like she's like sacrificed for like you know the future of mankind or whatever so like there's tons of parallels you can make to that shit too but I mean as I admit it it's what I got out of it like it's my interpretation and I'm sure they put lots of loaded imagery into it just to be able to have all this different interpretation without a doubt without a doubt um like that that kind of symbolism is pretty fucking blatant you know like oh an egg and a huge weapon hmm what could these represent I wonder yeah but like that video it even gave me more confidence in my own stuff because like a problem I have is that I make shitloads and shitloads of logs and like I'm always explaining something I've already thought about and so I watched the video back and I'll be like okay and then I'll post it and then like a day later I'm like this is worthless why did I make this this is so stupid but then I watched something like the angels egg video and I'm like okay this like now that I'm outside of myself and like watching someone else do what I do I get why people enjoy it you know like I like because you already know what you're trying to say so you explain it and you're like who the fuck cares about this but it's like for the audience if they don't know this stuff then it's like to them it's a total mind that that's a struggle I go through with every single video and like considering that like me and Gabe have talked about this a lot like the fact that we work on a video for so long like that feeling only gets worse the longer you're looking at the same idea you came up with six months ago that's why I brutal that's why I keep my fucking works schedule so tight because like like I really have to manipulate your own psychology and have a grip on yourself and keep yourself disciplined if you'd want to do that shit there was a time I really wanted to do stuff like the big 45 minute edit videos and like you know I can do it I did it with the part one of the sort of line season two video like the reason I don't it has nothing to do with success on YouTube like this was before I knew that you needed to have constant content it was entirely because after about one week I hate my video right everybody just happening like having to hear it over and over again you gradually are like this doesn't make any sense like does anybody get this like this am I saying anything and in some cases I might have even been right like there's some videos I go back and watch and I don't get the point and I'm like okay I guess I was just totally wrapped up in my own head on this one and like I didn't really explain things that well but like yeah it's really dangerous like the more time you spend on the video the more you really come to hate it so like when you do get it out there all at once like even if you don't get it you know if the audience likes it then the audience likes it like even if you're not sure why you know like there's some vlogs I make where I'm like I literally don't know what the appeal of this is but it's got 10,000 views and it's got all upvotes and the commenters like it and nobody's bitched on me on Patreon that I'm not making good enough content so I guess it's fine it's kind of the funny thing about living the Patreon lifestyle like really I mean I always well I don't really say this all the time but I'm always thinking that like if you're making like 10 billion whatever you're making like 10,000 dollars a month on Patreon but like what you make is like something that seems worthless like you make one fucking MS Pain Drawing just whatever as an example you're a postmodernist artist and you make shitty MS Pain drawings once a month and you make 10,000 dollars like people might be angry about that but that seems silly to me it is purely a contract between you and the people giving you money if they are satisfied that is literally the only thing that matters and which is why I mean to a certain extent I don't really like that people can just see what you make on Patreon but you can hide that I know you can hide it but even doing that is kind of like you have to make a choice to hide it and I think the audience will resent I mean because I personally would be a little suspicious just I don't even know why I think I'd only be suspicious if it changed from like if you start it off that way which some people do then I don't like the idea really of people knowing how much money I make it rubs me the wrong way a little bit because you fucking people out there don't tell everyone how much you make it's not normal to have your paycheck known to everybody and really it should just be people shouldn't be basing their patron pledges on how much you've made it should be based on how much you value the content and nothing else I think that we all absolutely do you don't patron anybody but like the rest of me and Ben have both done this where like we see someone reach a certain amount and we're like well he's already making enough money exactly exactly like God who did I do that to recently I've done it to a lot of people like like when they pass me and I go that's really that's not how it should work that's not how it should work that's why the the version of Patreon where it hides the money is great it still shows the goals like it says we're 80% to our goal you don't need to know what my goal is because it's what's comfortable for me it's not what's comfortable for you right you know some people will be like how come you need $2,000 a month to live I need to fucking live nigger god damn it I need to survive in this fucking I really get fired up about this issue people like this is a big thing on 4chan this is one of the things that I hate about 4chan like how it's not that they're like anti-e-celeb we can hate these celebs all fucking day that's fine it's that they resent people for making money online making content it's because they are just so fundamentally wrong in their basic assumptions that like what they're making is not valuable and it's that's just so wrong it's like why aren't you giving your money to fucking I don't know Comcast like they deserve your money or I don't know like anything else Comcast doesn't deserve anyone's money yeah that's a bad example but like you should be fucking giving it to us like some give it to fucking I don't know like for me for example give it to the anime staff don't pay the guy who's just talking about anime pay the people who make the anime but for a lot of people I'm giving them more than what the show is like I mean for me personally I'm obsessed with analysis videos and like with video games in particular I don't play games I just watch videos about games like I think I beat two games last year and that's like it I played through Doom and Dark Souls 3 and that was it this is reminding me of how excited I am now that B&B was done I can finish playing Demon's Souls and I can beat Hollow Knight oh my god you haven't beat Demon's Souls of course I beat it many times but I'm playing it again because I love it so much this is perfect it's gonna be great it is perfect Gibo's video about it everyone go to Hippocrates I haven't seen that yet I didn't get the chance oh dude you should read watch the video and look at Jesse's comment from the furthest room oh didn't he leave like a giant it was a giant novel sized comment it was fucking great why shout out to Hippocrates and he had this Gets because he liked the video so much he should just make the video out of literally that comment it would be great that's excellent I love you Hippo that's another thing I love about the PCP is we all love each other's shit so much in spite of the fact that like this is funny because Jesse's always advocating for the death of the PCP but like I don't know if people understand why and it's because the PCP podcast brings out the worst of our interactions sometimes yeah it's because we overstuff it we always end up letting too many people in we're working on it like the last one I was on there was like 5 people scheduled to be on and then Hippo just would not not be on I'm sure we agreed that he would be on he just complained all day Hippo complained? Hippo's not a complainer it's because you weren't there maybe I missed it like you and Ben weren't around and we were waiting for you guys and Hippo was like oh I really want to be in this one and we were like there's already 5 people signed up your name's not in the thing at all and he's just like yeah but I really want to be in this one and we were like well maybe Ben won't show up because he hasn't gotten there yet I want Hippo to be involved in everything I do he's so wonderful that's the only reason none of us kicked him out because we always wanted there then we ended up with a 6 person podcast and people always argue and then everybody, I mean I never do but like a lot like Ben or Jesse if they get mad in the podcast that is real anger that stays with them all day like they will keep bringing it up how mad they were about that argument you know and it mixes our audiences in annoying ways tons of memes and bullshit and the awful PCP fan chat that probably shouldn't exist I'm in there all the time I just poke my head in every once in a while I find them totally inoffensive but all this stuff like springs out of the PCP but when you look past that and it's just like us as friends watching one another's videos we are just like on each other's dicks it's burst linking all fucking day like half of the PCP chat if any of us actually makes a video the PCP chat is just all of us talking about doing great the other person's videos particularly if it's you, Hippo, or Jesse like we all kind of those are the ones that we're all like particularly invested in nobody cares about me and Mumki's videos because we post so much that nobody can possibly give a shit that's the only thing like I don't blame anyone neither does Mumki it's like no we post like four videos a day I can't expect anybody to care currently one of my favorite videos in the world is Mumki's like video dual destiny playthrough are you watch that shit? every morning when I wake up on my way to work I listen to that shit and I fucking love it it's so good Mumki do that forever it's my favorite I prefer the Spyro playthrough that's done though right? he started out the second game but he's only done one I think he said I was supposed to be the first guest that motherfucker hasn't invited me on me either he did one with sheep over and that's the only one I saw so far I did see that Yu-Gi-Oh! Forever that's what I want I can't do the Yu-Gi-Oh! because I won't watch it I kind of watch it a little bit with me my way of watching Mumki was that for a really long time I was always getting a sandwich for lunch Subway sandwich to get the deluxe secret? usually Wawa but I'd go get a sandwich and I'd come back and it takes me exactly like 18 to 20 minutes to eat a sandwich so I'd always watch the latest Pokémon video but then I got sick of the Nuzlocs because same fucking shit every single time you got boring with those but he fixed it by making Yu-Gi-Oh! videos I like the Spyro Ben finish your fucking Nuzloc you piece of shit yeah I'm literally the biggest fan you're the only one I think who watches all of Ben's Nuzlocs I love those fucking Nuzlocs they're really well made I just don't have time I got nothing but time dude when I'm at work I just have a lot because I'm working on code I have a lot of time to listen to podcasts and just veg out and do my work so it's perfect it's great for consuming YouTube stuff alright well to get us back to our chronological timeline get us into your college years what did you study? I went to the college of New Jersey originally as an open options science major because I wasn't good enough to be on the pre-med track and I might have just not been decided but I was not that great a student I was like a B kid I'll jack myself off and say it's cause I was bored and didn't give a shit maybe I was just dumb who the fuck knows but so I go to college looking at science stuff in general it takes me like a year or two to decide and so I wasted all that time took a bunch of classes I didn't need which is why I spent took so long to get my fucking degree it took like six years to get your degree it took me eight and a half years eight and a half to get a bachelor's that's a lot that's literally double the time it's supposed to take it is a long time but in my defense it's not like I was taking full classes I was working full time at various jobs while I was finishing up one class per semester after I left full time schooling and I made money overall but there was a life cost like the worst time in my life doing that shit you you lost all your souls what's a good metaphor here what's a good video gamey metaphor for the draining effect this had you were cursed you were gaining lots of souls but you had a curse on you that's true and it would just get my HP bar lower like before they patched Dark Souls 1 it just kept getting lower back in those days and I would walk up to my I'd be in the catacombs when there's a basilisk there and I'd be like I'm gonna get to it I'm gonna get to it this time to reclaim all my souls and then I would die and all my souls be gone no way to recover them and my HP keeps getting cut in half that was fucking brutal that was sick though I like that in any case so eventually I settle on computer not even computer science did you play Dark Souls early enough to have the original version of the fire fucking lava place what's it called easelith lost eyes of the lift actually my friend got into demon souls right when it came out but all of us played it and all of us were like this is shit this game fucking sucks the version I'm playing right now was bought like the year that it came out and none of us none of my friends appreciated it at the time we all thought it was garbage and didn't get it at all and it was like it was like well after Dark Souls 1 was out like the hype had started to build so you probably didn't play original I probably not why what was different about it well when the game shipped lost eyes with which is the shittiest level of the game but originally says that I think it's okay I mean the demon legs are shitty and well the originally those all had like a giant aggro range so like the whole way was just constantly fighting those like one after another impacts those do suck ass and then they but then they patched it and just made it so they have no aggro range so now lost eyes with is you just run through you know I remember playing that and I remember them all getting aggroed so I think I did play the original version I literally fought none of them oh I fight all yeah like they would all run at us we fought them and the way that we beat them was because I played this my friends back in college like they would all like attack us but they would hit each other and they would just kill each other and that's how we managed to get through yeah that's probably what they intended but it was just like didn't work well enough and it was too hard and they not a great level not a great level no it's definitely the worst level of the game never like remake it because like they said like yeah we just didn't finish it we just didn't have time I would have who cares anyway so you're losing all your souls going through college right um uh so but before that my my four years in college were were pretty good I um so around latter half of like sophomore year I get into like games development with my with my buddy rich and my buddies John and Mike and Femi and Michael talking so much you had a rich and a mic and you almost had a J you had John yeah you're close why almost had red letter media like you had all of them that's true it was close um and yeah like we I was friends with let me see I didn't know any of them at first but uh one faithful day at anime club um we were I don't know why they were there like they would not know these guys were as big anime bosses but okay so it was me and I'm just describing this because I want to jack off myself about my my friends rich and uh you know rich Femi and John so one day anime club uh uh John and rich I believe happened to be there and we just met and we talked and we became friends we were like went back to the place played Smash Brothers became friends it was great I believe it was the next year we were at my town house where I lived and I would live there with John and down at the end of the hall was this guy Femi this little Chinese kid in his own place into like his own room and um I don't remember how but I believe it was a discussion about Melty Blood was going on and he overheard his ears perked up when he heard Melty Blood was like not something you hear a lot about yeah if you hear about Melty Blood and you know what I mean I've I've like played literally one match of Melty Blood at Necocon before yeah I don't even know what the characters are in the game I just know it's all they're all moon characters yeah he made you got earth or whatever her name is my point is that I don't even like tight moon yeah I don't like highly technical fighters and still if people were talking about Melty Blood near me I'd be like whoa are you guys talking about Melty Blood it's a certain type of person who would talk about Melty Blood that you know that they're in your wheelhouse so we like to clarify for our audience yeah Melty Blood is like like a tight moon fighting game yeah but it's like it's like a dojin game right like it was sold at like I don't think it was ever professionally released it's like I didn't know that I mean I played it a little bit just like fighting I mean that game's old as shit you know and it was it's from the people who later went on to make Under Night Inbirth and Dengeki Bunko Fighting Climax and like they became like a major fighting game developer but like it was like a borderline fan game I think yeah that they just kind of made and with with all the tight moon characters from like back before I mean I guess fate stay night was popular at the time but like they were not the gigantic fucking thing that they are now right that's true it was definitely obscure it was the kind of thing that if you knew about Melty Blood you had to be like a deep level otaku that's right so that's when I believe Femme or it might have been something else and that came up another time but there was something that tipped off Femme like oh fellow people interested in this shit and he joined our circle of companions and we all became fast friends all through the end of college so meanwhile during this time like me and my buddy Rich we decided to make a video game to enter this contest so so at this point like yeah we were doing like video game development there was this new major at the school interactive multimedia that we were like this is like the games I won let's get into it and eventually I would like get away from that but at the time I was into that I was doing a double major of that in computer science just because like Rich was a very practical guy and was like you know you should you know interactive multimedia is cool and all but you should still do some computer science like you can be like an idea guy with the IMM shit but like you're gonna want an actual job so get the computer science to great and that's exactly what has paid off in my life but in any case so we decided to make a game and we entered this it was like a game stop funded like full ride to this thing called full sale university which is like a game design school in Florida I want to say somewhere around and we were competing to win it and we we finished our it took us a full year working on this game but we did finish it and incidentally you can play if you go to my twitch it's like twitch.com slash definitely best guy ever there's like videos of us playing it oh you know what it's on it's on bestie boy as well I think yeah yeah go to go to like full play these on bestie boy you find on bestie when there's like links to it if you want to play it it's this it's this RPG maker we made it like RPG maker XL or whatever like the fancier one was where you it's like a mystery puzzle game basically with a couple little bits of action in it and it's really fun I call it an adventure puzzle game like an adventure puzzle share if you've played like IB or something it's along those lines you know IB not a fan no we were inspired a lot by firefly or not a firefly um oh what's the jonathan blow game that was super famous braid we were heavily inspired by braid and rich was really the one who like had the idea for what the game was gonna be I was mostly the puzzle designer I didn't I couldn't program for shit I'm still not a great programmer even though it's my job that I do every day he was the one in charge of doing all the what I consider the hard stuff and I designed puzzles so I was the idea guy where that shit's concerned in any case we finished it we didn't win but we loved making it and rich decided to go off to another school that he finished and he got like a it's the one that hasn't like an affiliate with Nintendo up in Washington state oh my god your friend works for Nintendo he doesn't actually work for Nintendo but I visited him in Seattle a while ago like many of his friends work for Nintendo and like Reggie works in that town and lives there like there it's that's Nintendo Central in America does he see Reggie out like eating bagels at breakfast and be like yo Reggie what up dawg is your body ready for breakfast Reggie no but like there was a there was a friend of his this girl um his name is Reggie my body is ready or yeah that was Reggie he was like he was like get ready to do we exercise or like we fit he just like are you ready my body is ready that was yeah that was him wow yeah that's an old school one I didn't know that that's where it came from yeah it's all Reggie um that's one of my favorite memes I say it all the time really my body well I usually say my body is lady which is a compound right right from idle master you know this one yep I've seen that one it's for the audience it's uh the idle master opening song they say are you ready I'm ready which is literally are you ready I'm lady so so to me it's dumb asses my body is lady that's how I say it okay well in any case so so yeah as you can I had an Anderson games design a big way I was in like the game design club that my friend Andy started Magic Circle is what we called it um that was cool I had like a little team we actually developed this phone game we did this thing called a we did a game jam which is like a 48 hour game development thing crunch yeah um I had this idea finding advice it started as a game jam hey Florian shout out to you dog um there was a uh oh what was I saying oh there was a game jam and I came up with this idea for a game called monochrome which is um it's like what's it like it's a bit like bejeweled okay but the idea is so you've got a field full of multicolored gems and if you look at like a color wheel you know how there's like it goes from like purple leads to red leads to orange leads to yellow leads to green to blue back to purple in like a circle like that so the idea behind this game was that you would click on something like purple and if there was either one like next to that color on the color wheel either red or blue if you clicked from like purple to one of those it would like consume that color so like the idea was it was a puzzle game where you would kind of um eventually spread your color to it didn't matter what color but you could like end the game with all the blocks as one color was the basic idea of it and we actually developed a functional phone app of this game uh that I don't have anymore I think got deleted but it's it's on my like drive somewhere so I can install it again it's pretty fun we never finished it we wanted to make it like a full release but uh I guess as many game aspiring game devs did it never got out the fucking door um but in any case cool concept though yeah I really liked it it was really good and it was actually damn fun uh don't don't steal that audience I'm gonna make that's my idea so okay so I was big into game design um oh incidentally my theater stuff didn't work out from high school right because my grades weren't good enough and my dad forbid me to do any more theater uh because he was like you're spending too much time on theater even though the real problem was that it was fucking around and like not doing my homework and just didn't give a shit it just I was just a very lazy guy you know just didn't give a shit about what I was doing I mean that's school for you right right well that's that that's school for you taking you away from the thing that you're actually passionate about yeah because it's because it's supposedly distracting you from the bullshit that will never matter in your life yeah like hey which set of skills do you think is benefitting you on patreon right now the theater skills or the fucking whatever bullshit you had to do in high school yeah yeah I think it was the theater skills a little bit yeah what do you what what do you think you think you think you think you've got all those patrons from fucking knowing how to like what history of English or some shit no yeah you got it because you gave an impassioned speech about the human bullshit while wearing a Picard outfit you're literally in costume in that video yeah it was great and that card costume was a good investment or it's not it's a it's a standard issue uniform captain uniform so incidentally you go tight fit on me yeah tight fit on me to be honest yeah but it's good that it's a tight fit on you I guess that's true because it makes your chest look fucking huge that's true it does on me it makes my tits look fucking my nipples were literally poking through that disgusting okay so in any case so theater was out and I was just doing like game design stuff I guess my grades were okay I was never a great student at any point in my life other than when I was a little kid and I could just coast by by like being kind of smart and yeah that's just how it worked out and never had any drive to do any of that shit but in any case like another thing that happened to me in college that was a big deal is that I finally got a girlfriend I got a girlfriend and this was a revolution it was it was kind of a formative experience in my life changed me well actually getting the girlfriend didn't change me at all I was totally the same guy up to that point I was still this like shy vampire 100d loving you know cool kid at that point I never had hair that long again down to my waist but I had it down to like shoulder length I've got kind of wavy hair so it was kind of like curled around I don't know and this girl inexplicably was into me because I was the biggest fucking pussy such like I let this girl walk all over me like not to shit on her she was fine but I was not a man I did not do the things a man needs to do as in assert yourself in any way yeah like I have a tendency to couch out of people and try to police people and like that's nobody wants that in a relationship it's fucking shit so you know the relationship was mutually unsatisfying and went on for like a year and a half until she dumped me rightly so she however did not sex me and that is a big problem you dated for a year and a half and didn't fuck yeah well she gave me a couple handies you know so that was nice but she's willing to give you a hand job why not because she was a big weirdo Christian and you know there were two things and this is cool there were two things that I stood up to her on one I would constantly laugh at her when she talked about her Christianity which I fucking love that's great and the other one was she worked as hard as she fuck she worked that little white ass as hard as she could to make me admit that Eris was the better girl for cloud and I never gave in it's Tifa for life you stupid whore bitch never giving you that you will never get the satisfaction Eris is fucking dead Tifa was clouds destined girl from the start you idiot so on those two fronts I retained my manhood and everything else I was a big pussy bitch she she's no I really don't blame her at all you really stood for yourself on the issues that matter I know I know um so uh I mean the whole girlfriend thing was actually it was a big deal for me uh so you know this was me and I can admit this I didn't give a fuck about this girl uh you know I just wanted to have sex desperately it was a huge deal in my life and never happened and I was extremely upset when the relationship ended and I'm like I just dated this girl for like a year and a half and I know this kind of count sounds like a psycho but it's what I was honestly thinking it doesn't if you're a fucking 23 year old virgin yeah yeah it's like how old were you Johnny I was um no I was like 20 I was like dated her from like 19 to 20 that range more or less um and uh yeah it was real real fucking bad real fucking bad uh but in any case uh so eventually between junior and senior year a grand opportunity arose for me to travel abroad because actually one of the main reasons I chose to go to the college of New Jersey is because they had a mother fucking Japanese language program and that was like number one on my list needed that shit and I'm it was by far the best thing about that school I fucking loved taking Japanese there reading those fucking ganky books practicing vocab god I miss I wanna do more desperately but um so I gotta buy some ganky books like immediately we gotta talk about that later too cause me and you are planning a possible thing and uh and my new girlfriend also wants to learn Japanese dude don't bring your fucking girlfriend into this shit no no no I'm not gonna bring her into our thing okay okay I'm just saying that I'm very quickly becoming surrounded by people who want to learn Japanese as badly as I do right right and this is the perfect time like I need to learn this language I'm gonna kill myself if I don't learn Japanese by the time I'm 30 like if I'm not fluent by the time I'm 30 I will fucking kill myself that's a high bar go for conversation like high level conversation no no no I gotta be fluent by the time I'm 30 you don't have that much time to get fluent dude it takes a long time to get fluent we're not fucking beginners in Japanese we both took 3 years you know I took 4 years I've been watching anime for 15 years better than mine because I've been completely not but so in any case I was taking Japanese fucking loving it Ogren sensei and Yamashina sensei thank you for being there for me I appreciate what you did cause I'm sure they'll listen to this podcast but in any case I was also a Japanese language teacher that was after I came back from the thing I'm trying to get to I traveled to fucking Japan and I spent 2 months a whole summer in Tokyo living the fucking good life and it was by far the best single decision I've made in my life except maybe deciding to start doing YouTube and it was it was I mean it wasn't like a fucking magical experience it was just one of those things where like so many opportunities opened up to me when I like took the initiative to get this thing done which is why you know people say yes to opportunities that come before you people so I went there I went to Japan and I was at this place called the I believe it was the P international school or something like that you can google it because they take international students and they you know they teach them shit they've got a lot of like Koreans and probably like some Filipinos it's like the school is mostly full of Europeans like a bunch of like you know a couple Brits and some Americans you know all a bunch of big weebs mostly Koreans though but in any case they teach them Japanese as good as they can and they have a bunch of levels I was in like the middle level one I was actually in one that was a little bit too high for my actual language control ability so I was a little bit like not able to keep up with things that were happening which is a little bit shitty but it's because I've always had this pride when I was in school like I was the only kid in the entire school who took every single AP class that was available and it's because because I would have felt angry at myself for not taking the most difficult challenge possible like I would have felt dumb and our valedictorian she didn't take every fucking AP class only me and my friend Doug did it's because I think we have this like weird maybe his parents pressured him but for me it was like no I've got this weird um I don't know self critical ego thing going on we're like I need to challenge myself like the hardest thing is possible I don't feel it anymore but so I did that and so you know when I was in Japan I chose to take like this level that was definitely a little bit too hard to be 100% useful for me like you need to be at a level where you can actually keep up my biggest problem in Japanese class is that I got a D all three years I each year I had no idea what was going on I never knew what was happening like I spent my whole time in three years of Japanese like a deer in the headlights they shouldn't have asked me I was constantly trying to play catch up like yeah things would blow by me and I would have to catch up that was that was tough like I mean when we in my third year we had this Russian guy of Shinikawa sensei who like he had been he studied in Russia then he taught like I think he taught either English or Russian in Japan then had taught in America a little bit like at a nicer school then came to my school which is dog shit you know and like he gets there and like all of us are so far below the level we're supposed to be at for that and like in so varying like the top students in class knew everything and the bottom students in class like me jack shit and so he like the whole time he was just like exploding with stress I feel for the guy that's tough this dude was like man he couldn't deal like it was like three layers of culture shock yeah yeah like he'd been used to teaching at Japanese schools where kids like super diligent right comes here fuck is with American schools we are a bunch of fuck up why do we even have them I don't know because we it's possible to make us feel good about ourselves you know like pretend like we're doing something useful there is a certain service being served by listen to PCP schools fuck school I think it's the time fuck yeah something like that okay so I went to Japan right and it was fantastic the best thing about going there though was not that I kind of learned how to like be independent a little bit yeah like college is kind of cushiony but like I live just in like an apartment by myself in Tokyo for two months and had like figure shit out like how to survive but more importantly than that I hooked up with this dude Garth and I think I've told this story a couple times before but like me and this buddy Garth he had yellow fever it was ridiculous he wanted to get laid like a motherfucker that we both got described it once as the worst yellow fever you've ever the worst case of yellow fever I've ever encountered without a doubt like he was into deep level like geisha shit like that's what he wanted that's his like ideal woman by from his own mouth um level that's yeah man so we would we would bomb down to Roppongi at like late night like even on weeknights we would just go to Roppongi get absolutely sloshed by the way people don't know this the best thing about Japan is that you can drink alcohol outside anywhere you want at any time it's wonderful it's really not to be underestimated how great and liberating that is that's all I'm going to do when I go to Japan it's fantastic it's fantastic it's because probably because they like trust the citizens to not fuck up that'd be reasonable but it's funny because it draws a lot of tourists and like foreigners who are not reasonable and like me and him would just be like puking in the streets sometimes and just being irresponsible in the club and like how old are you at this time let's see when I was in Japan I turned 21 so it was like right at that time and by the way the drinking age in Japan I believe is 20 it's 20 okay yeah 20 yeah so I was able to drink I turned 21 when I was in Japan so a little bit anticlimactic but it was still a great time I met some interesting characters like this guy named Nash who was like a competitive MMA fighter who was like training at various dojos across Asia and was like friends with some of the students at the school I was going to or some of the teachers who would like help him buy plane tickets places can I have a slice of your apple pie sure yeah go for it let's see what else is going on so really like the main idea that I want to talk about here is like my life changed dramatically because I developed a fixation with actually going out like no longer being a pussy like this was the time in my life I got really into like pickup artists shit and I started obsessively consuming everything I could find specifically while I was in Japan I downloaded tons of like videos and in all that kind of shit and like a lot of the philosophy has stuck with me to this day though the like the I don't know like the specifics have kind of faded but I always want to defend it when I talk about it that pickup artists shit is like it's about self-improvement more than anything else like what I have gotten from like these guys like Tyler Durden that's like that's the guy Tyler Sensei he is um I mean I call him Tyler Sensei but like it's not like he's known by that it's just like I met I found out about this guy when I was in Japan so I started calling him Tyler Sensei even though he just goes by Tyler in America but in any case like it these guys are all about like you become a better man so that you can attract better women and like it's not like you're tricking anyone it's like you are a better person and the women that are into you because of that are just being given like more of a product I think what people are a verse to is like people are really into like destiny and like they feel like I'm born this way fucking with that order is wrong it's not good to improve your station it is yeah it's it's disgusting we know we are clay dolls that we hold it through our own power to a certain degree you know we have a certain level of influence over our own bodies if free will exists which I don't actually believe but we'll put that aside for now um but the point is like this is when I like I all what this boils down to is like I now decided you know what I should actually do something because I want women in my life and I should actually like work on that like so nobody I think in the right mind would ever find a problem with that so that's what we went down to Roppongi and our choice was to get super drunk that's with our solution and we would go into clubs we would we would we would grind up on on hot Japanese women who were looking for sexy American men and we just we kind of grew up you know we became grown up guys a little bit more it would neither I did not get laid through during my time in Japan which was a big bummer for me but Garth did though Garth and as I was saying like he he's really into Japanese chicks devastatingly he banged a Vietnamese chick and yeah he's he regrets it intensely to this day that he would he was in still yellow still yellow you know on the spectrum getting getting closer to what he wants I'm sure by now the color spectrum is what I'm talking about I'm sure by now he's banged quite a few Japanese ladies if his yellow fever persists because who knows he was actually Indian so I don't know if that is relevant but like in yellow fever spiking Indian but whatever so but the funny thing was so after I came back from this wonderful time by the way I met Moot when I was in Japan when I was on I was on 4chan just one day and I saw it like in a bunch of the guys who were there a lot of the white guys who were there were a bunch of like big weebs like me and like I saw a post one day that was just it was the banner on 4chan like hey I'm Moot it was like a sticky on every board I'm gonna be in Abra at this time be there if you want to hang out and I was like I'm gonna be there so me and a couple of the guys we went down there and we hung out with Moot for a while and we went to eat we we met his crew what did he seem like he was like a skinny um I don't know I mean I imagine he's just a like nerdy programmer guy that's really the impression for the most part that I got he didn't have any kind of like bombastic personality or anything he was pretty chill and we we talked and if you look around online there's some I don't know if you guys if you search around there are some famous pictures if you search like Moot in Akihabara there are pictures of me with him and there's one of like that like all his crew like want us to take a big like group photo so we all lined up in a row and he took a big picture of all of us and what was funny to me is that even years later I see that photo reposted on like 4chan now and then and I'm right there wearing like a soga king from one piece shirt that I bought in Uniqlo when I was there and it's people label like every person in that group as like a different board like Moot was B you know like there was a girl like a pregnant girl like with a baby who was like CGL just like a bunch of other which one's CGL? CGL is the cosplay like the slut one the slut girl one of course so it fits and I was consistently labeled as co as the comics board even though you're wearing a one piece even though I was wearing yeah inexplicably but I had a shit eating grin and looked confident and I was already getting fit at this point so my muscle definition was improving which isn't an A thing because it's not an A thing I think A is more fit than co that's bullshit and you know it dude co has some normies co has a decent normie population so those people even out the fitness curve the A's are a bunch of fucking fat weirdos why weren't you just fit? was somebody else fit? I don't know why just not have been a fit okay but the point I'm trying to get to I just thought that's a cool thing that happened to me while I was there when I got back like a month after I got back to school I immediately got laid and it was just like I did the grind I put in the work did my training and all of it paid off when like I completely changed as a person when I got back I was way more like outgoing willing to just do crazy shit you know kind of like the guy I am now on the PCP is like post-Japan Nate the guy from before Japan was a completely different guy big pussy sucked a lot of dick, mostly his own not a fun guy I imagine, I mean I think pretty much all of us on the PCP have some kind of turning point like that like for you it was when you realized you were gay that was a big day for you I think all of us, well I don't know if I can speak for the younger guys that white had like a definitive like I don't know how different hippo is from how he used to be I'd have to ask him but like for me it would be pre and post brony con 2013 was that the first one you went to? because like I mean there's lots of moments in my life that things change like me going to the Philippines would almost be comparable to you going to Japan except that it didn't change much about my life back in America it was really going to brony con and like becoming having a moment of like thinking of myself as famous or something or like being a personality in public and like having to respond to all these people like completely changed the way I think about interacting with random strangers like it's just you have this moment where all these people know who you are who you don't know and like all you like all they expect of you is to be cool and so like I'm there and I'm like I have to be cool for these people I can't be some boring nerd for all these people who are coming up to me I have to be this larger than life figure who they're expecting and so that's like what I became in my real life I just kind of transformed into like a you know a guy who thinks of himself as someone with fans you know I remember you talking about there was a phase in your life that I remember I was a fan of yours at the time and it was when you were doing like a big purge of all your contacts and you're like I know too many people right now that seemed relevant that was not too long after that Brodycon just I had that's just because I literally accepted everybody who sent me a fucking Skype request and that's a huge mistake and nobody should ever do that I still get messages on Discord just from people usually from the fan chat because like I'm in there and it's easy too I got no problem with that but I just ignore them for the most part and let me see was there anything else relevant I had like 400 Skype contacts at the time that's why I had to get rid of them I'm merely going to talk about this because it is important context into who I am and this is like the podcast about the kind of person I am so like this getting laid thing was like it I don't know I feel like there's a tendency to like diminish how the value of sex it totally matters because it's just that you can't like even if it's not good even if like you even if what you take away from it is oh I don't even care about sex you have to know you have changed and you will now have something socially that gives you an aura of confidence like you're now part of the club you're no longer an excluded loser not that anyone who hasn't had sex is a loser it's fine I had my ex-girlfriend and I had sex with her plenty of times I didn't understand what it is and it was pretty good I think I'm good at it and it's fun but like after that I spent the last three years not getting laid until like last week and like it didn't get any easier to make it happen again but it's just like knowing that I could that I have and can it's a world of difference post virginity lost to pre virginity lost to post it is different will I ever have sex exactly I know I can I've done it before I just have to put in more effort the last three years I felt like I could have sex anytime I want I just got to put in effort and I'm not willing many of my friends are still virgins to this day they're 26, 27 just like me and I don't know man it could have been me if I didn't go to Japan it would be me it would be me and I don't think I would I love them to death I guess I just wish they would Incidentally, cause you're saying one month after that's when you got laid exact same for me with bronycon 2013 cause that girl the girl who was my first girlfriend literally like bronycon had been like one week before and I'd just gotten back and it was like my birthday area like the day after my birthday and I was just talking about it on the pub crawl and this girl starts messaging me in the chat and that's how we hooked up and like a month later there's definitely something too this effect of like just doing something that's so something that it's not that it's out of character it's out of character for who you are but it's in character for who you think you should be well you know back in the day I also heard describe the whole thing about the self-improvement stuff that I got from a lot of the they're more like life coaches or this pickup stuff but it was like it's you at 100 like you're not you can't even be someone else if you try you're always going to be yourself you can act fake or whatever but like if you're just going out there and you're just I really resent this notion that people like trying to change themselves are being fake I reject that whole heartedly that stagnates people so hard and I hate it and it happens to a lot of like nerdy guys if you call for that trap hard I did, I certainly did don't be a fucking idiot make yourself better not just to get laid but for every reason consider your entire life an engineering problem and if there are deficits that you need to improve work on it if there's literally anything you're not happy with then what the fuck are you doing fix that if something's broke you fix it are you going to be the guy who I don't know you watch any Casey Neistat at all yeah I've seen a lot what's great about Casey is he's got this sort of workshop that he works in and if anything is not exactly what he wants he fixes it he'll get a tool and just make it he always says like there's two kinds of people in this world people who can build something and people who can't or people who can use their hands or whatever if he needs something to be a certain way he immediately immediately makes it that way and that's how everyone needs to get into that fucking mindset if something's broken look around you right now look around your room audience if something is broken and you've been meaning to fix it fix the fucking thing you know what's funny about that? fix it now that's entirely true that is the best way to live funny thing is I cannot necessarily adhere to that as often as I'd like to I've been living a new bed that's been like an issue for like a year I've wanted a new bed it's only because there was something that happened that was like a motivating factor like you know I could use a second bed for like a guest that's what really got me to do it but like then there's other things like nobody asked me to make me a mafia nobody was like hey why don't you you know whatever you recognize a systematic problem with your content and decided that it needed a solution that's exactly right it's not always easy to identify what's broken right but there is kind of like for me a lot of time if I'm not sure why I'm not happy I'll just go and make a bunch of different shit until I figure out what am I missing you know like I mean this trip I'm on right now that's kind of what inspired like I didn't know what the results of this would be I'm just like hey I'm gonna leave the house because I've tried everything here and none of that's working so the solution must be out there so let's just go out there and drive around aimlessly until something changes and something did change almost immediately leaving my house like it's obvious that this is what should have happened is like yeah you should have left like months ago you know that's why I so value and think it's a great idea to shake up your life in a big way at the very least like things like traveling long distances people it's so easy to be like I don't know like if you dreamt of like going to Paris or whatever I mean what am I really gonna oh the fucking Eiffel Tower I fucking seen that in a million pictures actually putting in the shit to go to Paris is just it's gonna be worth it probably I mean it's just worth the experience of figuring out how the fuck to get to Paris I mean to me like a lot of people hate travel I love travel just because like even when it sucks it's interesting because it's just something new like I'm the type of guy you're collecting stories and life experience at a minimum that you won't get if you're sitting in your ass in the room. I'm the type of guy who will sit around like and just walk around the airport like let's say I have a two hour layover yeah um you can compare different airports it's interesting shit I live in Norfolk tiny airport nothing there right then you go to New York and you're in this giant fucking LaGuardia and there's like these huge food courts and all this crazy shit and you hey everything costs twice as much in New York because the taxes are so much higher yeah and like just learning shit you know like you can't you literally can't go somewhere and not learn anything you will learn something because that place is not the place you were already in and you will inherently pick up on something even if you don't immediately recognize it even if it's just like a talking point you can walk up to some girl at the bar and be like hey uh yeah what's going on haha I went to Boston yesterday oh yeah what was that like oh cigarettes are like $12 there it's fucked up you know icebreaker you have something you have something to talk about something's different about you you know you know there is that's entirely true but there is nothing harder on this earth than doing a cold approach to a girl and I've done it many times and every single time I feel like I was dying yeah see I have I went through the fire I faced my fear and I haven't conquered it it's still there I still feel social anxiety all the like if I want to talk to a girl it's hard man it's it's hard shit every every guy knows it is it's a skill that you have to work at if that's the kind of guy you want to be you know I mean you could take the route of becoming a YouTuber and getting 100,000 subscribers and waiting for a girl to say like hey you're cute let's go literally the route that each of us is taking yeah that's true it is very inefficient if you can avoid it it is hyper inefficient yeah if you can build a career out of it too hey great two birds with one stone wouldn't recommend it though go guys go improve yourselves and go harass women in the street that's what I'm trying to say I don't even know how like like pick up culture it's not called that anymore honestly like with the whole picking up like girls through YouTube thing like I think it would only even work for people like us who were destined to be YouTubers anyways yeah like the reason it works for us is that like we're so personality driven yeah like the kind of stuff that we would use to pick up a girl so same stuff we'd talk about in a YouTube video that's true you know I have literally seduced women I have literally seduced women by talking about one piece endlessly they get entranced by the passion I show exactly talk about how much I fucking love one piece that's what really happened I have literally gotten laid off of that shit the kinds of women who would be into us are the kinds of women who are into just guys being passionate about something that's right passion is just an endless well spring of something I have right well because it creates an association that if he can get that passion maybe he can get that passionate about me maybe he can get my nut yeah oh god you reminded me I have to try that now oh shit I totally forgot you I'm glad I remind you oh boy thank god I got a hot date in like two weeks great get in there tragically after national sex day next June 9th everybody get out there and get yourself a date oh god it's also national marriage day if you see any tweets about me being like heartbroken talking about how my girlfriend broke up with me just know it was because I can't avoid it yes it's gotta be done it's gotta be done I'm so glad you reminded me so I was I was gonna say so after I got laid the first time which was a big deal for me I then spent the rest of senior year pursuing like casual sexual relationship like my I didn't really dwell on this that much but my heart was absolutely broken and has not recovered I do not trust relate I don't trust anyone I do not trust anyone to do anything for me I only trust myself I will never have any confidence anyone ever again I expect them to betray me at a moment notice so I organize my life where when they betray me not if yeah I will be able to survive and it won't be a big deal so that's that's me but I was able to have good times with a bunch of nice lady senior year you know I had a bunch of casual things going at once was living the dream for a while with a couple ladies and and then senior year ended and that was you know it was sad and all nothing none of it was like too tragic it was just it sucked to be away from my boys but eventually I went back to Massachusetts and from there I just spent my time doing like one class at a time working terrible shitty jobs because for years the college of New Jersey was useless at finding me a fucking internship where I could like work and make decent money with those with the skills I had developed it took me four years and of an account like my dad's best friend since he was like in like elementary school having to work for a software company and was like hey like we could you we take interns all the time from like the university of Cincinnati so I'm living like an hour south of Boston where you know where I grew up and he's like you know you have to interview and shit but you've got decent qualifications you can finish your degree out here at like the university of Cincinnati and you know at work and have a fucking job and not be a poor piece of shit like you have been for the last three four years or whatever I was like yes please save me from this hell and so I went and started I lived out here in Cincinnati and that's what I've been doing ever since finished my degree a couple months ago check that box and now I my pay went up a bunch and now I make a comfortable living live well below my means and I'm spending all my money to pay off my student loans so I'll be free but and so that's where I'm at right now like financially but both during that three years and this is where I wonder if maybe this was all a blessing in disguise I heard of a little website called you porn.com and I knew that's where my future lie no it was it was YouTube so actually it was funny Ben during this time you know my older brother Ben remember that guy he he had been doing a lot of crazy shit during that time he went to Europe he taught Polish no he taught English in Poland no no sorry he taught physics in Poland because that's what he got his degree in and he did a bunch of crazy stuff and he eventually like lived in California bumming around for a while go listen to the Ben interview if you want the full story of Ben's crazy ass post college Ben's done some really interesting stuff with his life despite being a useless bum but it's generally because Ben does not care about having a safety dad no not at all you and him are kind of diametrically opposed in this regard I wouldn't say like I'm very much like my dad in that respect he is like and I've only become that way over the last couple years like since I moved out here and I've like been forced to become an adult yeah like now I really have my shit together in a big way and Ben does not and I but it doesn't even matter because he doesn't care it doesn't it does not phase him a little bit I don't know it's a mix this whole thing about like oh you're just like your mom you're just like your dad that's a meme anyway but in any case so during that time Ben was got into Ben had been watching a ton of shows like he's always been a big consumer of media and one show he watched was My Little Pony that he was like hey Nate check out this show and I remember when he was in um I believe Poland he sent me like somebody might be California whatever when he was far away he sent me links to like the show and I was like I do not believe that My Little Pony is good I believe that you are lying to me that this is a fucking joke you're an idiot and I just ignored him for a while but eventually like on 4chan people were talking about it and I was just like okay maybe there is something to this thing after all so I took Ben up on it and the first episode I watched was Putting Your Hoof Down and it was like the best episode of all time I'll describe it to you season 2 that's the iron will one as made famous by keg standard reviews Putting Your Hoof Down that's right and it's the greatest episode of anything ever it's literally about like this kind of motivational speaker sort of pickup artist guy that was like my hero and it didn't even make him a villain it just made him like an antagonist for the episode with like hey you owe me money but then Fluttershy you know is like fuck you I didn't appreciate your service all Fluttershy does is like learn from this guy become like an alpha herself and then he's like yeah you know okay all right I'm with you so like he respects the code he's not even a villain he's a good guy he is a good guy okay I'm getting too deep into this thing I fucking love that episode go watch keg reviews Putting Your Hoof Down Putting Your Hoof Down on T-Bap it's actually a great video that I love I did a song for it and two or three songs that video is kind of the precursor to what would be best guy ever like it's the first example of you going way the fuck overboard that's right the production of a video which would be continued in phantom reviews way overboard Ben's fucking animations and like the song oh man that was a fucking crazy ride took us like six months to finish that video I think yeah which would establish a pattern for me which would be very destructive but make some decent stuff but in any case so Ben convinced me to watch My Little Pony I did and I got into it and I would watch it like at work when I was supposed to be working at this other shitty job and I would just watch My Little Pony instead and it was great I remember I was watching it when the Boston marathon bombing happened I was watching some My Little Pony and I was like I don't give a fuck about them I'm taking with rarity and the girls this is way more important um and uh and long story short like so we were goofing around and then eventually Ben came home and Ben suggested one day like yo I've been watching this big faggot like Digi Bro and like other guys or Digi Broney and Broney Curious and these other guys and in fact he showed me um the video that really was made me like even interested in YouTube in general was um uh like horseshoe reviews ah god what was it it was like it was the one so he knew Jesse even before he showed any of this to you yeah like the first video that I saw of like YouTube this was like my introduction to YouTube was seeing Jesse's video god what the fuck was it's like magic it's that it's the season 3 opener the crystal kingdom like the magic crystal kingdom one the cold corona video that's the one where he crawls out of that fucking like the carousel boutique thing it's like this is before horseshoe reviews yeah you're right it wasn't even horseshoe reviews Jesse was doing his crazy shit before that this was that video was fucking magical that video is incredible Jesse I love you brother you're a hero um but uh so I got I realized that YouTube was a thing we were both into my little pony Ben was back home he suggested hey let's do a pop we because we every time an episode we've been doing this our whole life we would be like up late watching anime together and we'd talk about it for hours he's like yo we're doing this again with my little pony let's make a mother fucking podcast so we did so we made t-bap episode one and just like that's two best brothers bitch about ponies yeah don't tell mom though because that's a swear uh so uh right so we we did and I believe our first episode was just a still image and shitty audio and like and shitty art and shitty art it was kind of shitty original designs are pretty shit I remember the keg had this amazing like number one finger that never got reused what a tragic loss for that character could have had so much development with that number one finger thing uh but yeah I had the Kanye shades and Ben Phantom horn oh it was good times but like what was what's interesting about t-bap looking back at it now is that that was literally the first video I ever made outside of like this like this one like video editing AMV I made like on a VHS tape back in high school that is totally irrelevant I started learning YouTube at that moment like editing and shit and now here I sit like three and a half years later and I consider myself a pretty damn great edit boy yeah and uh yeah learned a lot of shit real fast but like the way that t-bap evolved quickly even at that time it was as fast as I could learn how to do new shit and you know to give credit to you know he made new art we were grind in that shit we were grind in that t-bap wheel like as hard as we could I'm sure I probably said this in Ben's interview too but like both like like the early t-bap episodes were all submitted to me because I was running uh Equestria Daily's analysis thing at the time right I'd been well established by this point I've been around for probably seven eight months and I was pretty famous known for propagating heroes like Dr. Wolf yeah another legendary exactly right so I'm I'm working for Equestria Daily season four started and people submit their videos to me and the first t-bap submitted to me and I thought this is fucking dog shit sure because the audio is so bad that I can't listen to it I'm just like who are these guys what is this shit who are these plucky young heroes who do they think they are like literally two weeks later yeah I get submitted another one that's got like vastly superior art and audio it's got like a whole intro segment that's hilarious it's got these legendary pony designs you guys had easily the best OCs in the fucking entirety agreed you're like including the OC game was on point if you include the like the whole like all the characters you guys made up that's a sticky situation like that those are horse fister look most of our audience doesn't know MLP they don't appreciate how meaningful this statement is yeah because there are hundreds of thousands of my little pony OCs and there are some very creative people who made them there are a lot of great ones there are ones who have had whole fandoms you know like fan made OCs with fandoms exist like a snow drop or something you know right yeah you guys made the best OCs in the entire fucking fandom it's true I never got the credit you deserve you know it was funny we never appeared in like those big group shots of everybody and it's entirely because we were like a little bit we were a little too original you know where there are like Ben we made a big mistake by not playing it like exactly like everybody else was doing so like including us somebody like eventually made like vectors but even then they never showed up in anything yeah like Ben's designs were like cartoony and like had their own style going on and they were I think that was just because like this is a big part of how the horseshoe crew which they became the PCP came together is that we all respected one another's work and I think a lot of a lot of what we were like pissed off about at the time was that like you know I was famous but I had like a kind of squeaky clean character which which when I eventually like changed it people were mad about you know but like you guys never did the t-bap and and Jesse had a swear in our name dude yeah and you guys you know you'd make constant misogyny jokes and shit yeah especially me and like that kind of shit just didn't fly in that community because there's a bunch of fucking autistic children who didn't want that who just like couldn't parse what was a joke and what was it I always thought like we had a certain atmosphere that didn't get as much shit like I think the number one thing I ever got shit for was one time when I got really mad at there was an episode where Pinkie Pie kept making Fluttershy cry and I was like I mean I think it's it's fairly in character but like I was being like oh that Pinkie Pie is such a like fucking autistic piece of shit faggot and like it was the way that I like vindictively called her autistic the audience got really mad and I wonder why they were sensitive about that word well like and that's the thing like even for me like I liked you guys' stuff like you guys and Jesse um but even I would like hesitate to post it on Equestria Daily cause I knew I'd get shit for it you know like I'd gotten shit for my own videos for saying that kind of stuff dude the whole point of the Phantom Horde character is specifically to mock transsexual people well transgender people right transgender yeah yeah like I mean yeah and like MLP fandom was highly steeped in like this video by the way we have no hatred for them we just think it's funny it's just hilarious like MLP fandom was highly steeped in like neoliberalism and a lot of social justice stuff and like we're not even really like idealistically opposed to that kind of stuff we just are willing to make fun of shit and those like a lot of them aren't and it just comes down to the yeah and that's why like promoting T-Bab and promoting Endless Jess or drowning in horse shoes was always really difficult for me cause like I couldn't bring people to that and it would affect the way people looked at me too people were like oh why are you associating with them you know I'm like well cause I think it's funny but like and because I'm working for Equestria Daily who now I have to represent their interests and stuff and like when we would do yeah when people would draw those crowd shots like they'd leave out you guys I think for that reason you know like I think some of them knew about you guys and just didn't like you because you were transgressive well okay you know what entirely possible I'm sticking with my theory that it's cause our art designs were too different cause these people did not have standards there was a lot of those like big crowd shots like fucking 50 subscriber nobody exactly there'd be literal nobody's in these and yet uh drowning in horse shoes and T-Bab wouldn't be there and sometimes Gibbon was you know sometimes he was in there way more than the rest of us yeah and that's he was never aggressive he was never like you know offensive or anything I think it was mostly that you guys were offensive to the bronies and they're like literally a bunch of fucking pussies about it you know like cause they really were like I knew people who were extremely squeaky clean who didn't even like who even had a the humor wouldn't show it you know and like I mean you saw what happened to me for example well well she's I don't know anything about her I like that one song she made yeah um anyway I got a lot of trouble with her she blocked she she literally told me to stop listening to her music I remember that yeah interesting yo white people don't listen to my music hashtag cats millionaire yeah um she wasn't black but I'm just I'm making a joke like that rapper who told white people not to listen to his music Kanye West Kanye West was that like you you made a thing about this like there was some Milo Milo well he didn't say white people don't listen to it he just gets mad at white people who say nigga even if it's like singing along to his songs right you know nigga fuck off yeah um so but yeah like I really think like you saw what happened when I made my pony start smoking yeah people just smoke shit on that weed oh my god cigarettes are evil fuck but this is a children's show and what if children watch your videos and get influenced to smoke like I'm not even portraying it as a good thing that my character smokes I'm portraying him as like a half dead tired don't be like me kids people don't want to look into like the whole when it comes to anything like questionable or even slightly edgy they're not interested in context they're just I mean it's like the Anita Sarkeesian thing you're showing X you're supporting X whether you say so or not like context is irrelevant if you show like a sexy woman that's you you know just like whatever objectifying or whatever it's that same argument it doesn't make any sense it's ridiculous though it's only ridiculous okay you know what maybe I maybe Anita's right if everyone is really stupid and if nobody's thinking about it maybe that's the problem which is not the case which I don't think is actually the case I think most people who take offense to things are taking offense on behalf of other people right yeah aren't actually being affected you know how far in are we on two and a half two and a half yeah alright so you you started up t-bap yep how did that go because you guys got that channel was not unsuccessful no we all in fact it took a long time for you to pass t-bap on as best guy ever I just did it recently yeah right before like the galco video I finally reached my goal of 17,000 subscribers which was a big deal for me because I never got there with t-bap and I was always like oh we're so close I mean it was a meme number because like it was just like oh yeah now we're getting like the next thousand now we'll get the next thousand and it happened to be that t-bap never quite got to 17,000 and it was always like ah shit I don't fuck I want to do that someday so I finally did it and then galco happened immediately and the channel doubled in size within a week yeah and that's how it tends to happen and then me and math have happened I mean it didn't like have an explosion but I've gained like 4,000 subscribers or so over the course of me and math or something and I mean I know I've got a long way to go but this is like huge progress for me and my patron is like exploding a little bit right now so it's everything great all good things are happening right now to me but you know for t-bap itself you know it was t-bap was great it was another like confidence boosting thing because you know again I was a different man than I had been like a couple years ago I was more confident and willing to do things that were you know would have scared me off in my childhood but it was doing it getting some success getting some positive feedback was really good for me and especially at that time in my life where I was working these shitty jobs and you know didn't have my degree was like student loan debt having to pay that shit off all the time no money living with my parents no girls at all at this time and yeah it was just really shitty but t-bap gave me something to feel good about in my life I was really achieving something that was making an impact it was making people happy and it was earning me even a little bit of money on the internet it was amazing to me it blew my mind and I was able to work with Ben which was usually very good because Ben is a very competent guy but needs the spurs to put to him on occasion so you know it just was a very positive change to get I don't know to really understand that like yeah if I set my mind to something I can fucking do it I can achieve this shit which I'd already kind of understood with the whole you know girl thing in college this was like a professional validation and it was at this point that I was starting to wonder like I really had those thoughts of like what is the point of like all this school shit I've done like why have I spent all this time slaving away at something that I don't even want to do like I so easily just fell into this like career quote unquote career at this point that like I'm passionate for and I love doing and is earning me money and could theoretically be a way to live and like I talk about how like the most productive time in my life now it's me a math of a but forget before me a math of a happened like and I'm actually I'm a ridiculously hard worker on my videos it's just they really do take that long to come out because I have to work all the time and I have to like go to the gym and shit that takes up time but like every Saturday was new pony day and it's time nothing else matters all that matters is that we get the fucking pony episode done and people probably don't remember this but we consistently were the first review out on the Saturdays despite being also the best review we did it every week I mean our only competition was guys like I mean like Dr. Wolf will get his out real quick granted you had the advantage of it was unscripted true like like yeah we would have our intro skits and shit though and animations and all that stuff going on but you did those in the week well the animations we had to do during the thing well I mean what's your point like yeah we planned we were playing the game I'm just saying that like it was impressive but like yeah you know there was like a certain team of people who was the day ones and it was like me you you guys and Tom were always like the first the first starting line like these guys are going to be out you always beat me right just by virtue of being unscripted like if I hadn't my video personal ego thing for you I say okay I'm not saying I wasn't even really trying for like being first I was always just trying to have that day that was our goal so like oftentimes I would like you know dick around for a few hours or something but like I I think in terms of like like we were probably working at the same speed I just was writing out all the videos you know sure we had some advantages you know we had two people doing the work etc and yeah we like but is that the fact that we worked on our intros and outros ahead of time I think is a good thing about us yeah like we worked really hard on it's not like it's not easy to get all those fucking poses no it's not like the original art Ben would generate like to this day I still love some of those like you remember the one of like Love Lesson Zero for one of our fucking intros we Ben made an like a full like fake foe love what's the word I'm looking for like like harem oh yeah yeah visual novel is the word I'm looking for he made like a love visual novel intro thing with like it was keg as like a character was playing like some guy was hoping to date this girl and like spike was like a baddest in twilight honestly like it was nuts to our audience if any of you have never seen any of t-bap because you don't care about MLP I feel like we've done a real disservice all of us in the in the procrastinators to ourselves by like insisting that our MLP days like a meme that are in the past and we're like ashamed we all did a lot of great work back then that people should go back and see Phantom reviews that is great keg reviews is great don't even like go to the go to t-bap and just watch the intros to all the videos because the intros were fucking awesome there's one where it was like it was live action phantom horn trying to draw something and he had like actual hooves we worked so hard on that how did you do the hooves I did was like I think that was my idea we like I had seen some video of like someone with hooves and I was like I've got an idea let's do like a live action drawing thing so we bought some hooves like they're like you can just buy online like these like rubbery horse hooves like glove type things that go all the way up to like your elbow and we spray painted the blue we just spray painted the blue so they look like phantoms and and then we just this was we use like our setup for filming that thing was so fucking jank we taped like Samsung Galaxy 2's like the top of a thing and like filmed downward and like we had to do so many takes of all that shit like trying to get it just right and essentially the joke is that he tries to draw but he has hooves so he spills ink all over the joke is that phantom constantly phantom is doing like a how to draw he's fucking up everything horribly and then somehow at the end he ends up with this like beautiful drawing and that's how you do it that's how you fucking do it great skit love it yeah these guys would put out like the opening skits of t-bap were literally better than anything else happening in the pony community unless it was from like me or jesse or sure gibbon and I'm not saying it was worse than any of those just that those were also not terrible it's true and jesse stuff like I actually have had people tell me that they finally gone and watched the horse the horse reviews and been like holy shit that they are legitimately incredible don't even watch my little pony it doesn't matter just go watch the horsey reviews watch the intros to t-bap watch watch at least like gibbon finale or something or his last one where gibbon take sales off and dies except now he's back he's a pirate boy again and I'm sure I had something worthwhile who knows yeah I'm sure you did something that's worth revisiting yeah it was it was good times and you know we picked out the other people that we recognized is not incompetent yeah actually with interesting things to say and we eventually got together and you know and I mean just to tell the story again because it's because it's fun and I like it I think like the first time we interacted was when like Ben and I were big fans of all you guys and specifically Jesse and gib were our favorites and we respected you as an authority figure and you know enjoyed your content but we just liked the personality they showed of like the goofy shit as opposed to like the information stuff I was never funny my videos were like really fucking straight forward when you were like okay let's get serious about what the fuck this episode was about Jesse was the one who was making like Jesse's content it didn't matter that it was about my little pony it was just like these masterful like films that he was putting together you know so one day like Ben and I the first thing we did was we decided like I came up with this goof like let's say for like President's Day is coming up let's pretend it's Valentine's Day in this intro and we'll say we're doing a special love episode with Digi Broney and so we we did this whole gag where you don't show up and then at the very end it's this whole like crazy like zooming out weird high concept thing where like the whole episode takes place constantly zooming out from within the universe deep within Digi Broney's eye and then like at the end like we've zoomed out all the way and you appear and you go it stinks and then my little pony the end of the episode that was a fucking great bit it was so good I'm so proud of that one the editing was tight and perfect at that moment so and yeah I don't know whatever like you recognize that point and then give actually this was before that give made like a thing where he showed us and like his big analysis round up videos he animated us a little we love that but then eventually I don't even know how we oh of course we did the Q&A and the Q&A and we all you found out that we loved you guys and at some point there was a conversation where we all decided to do a horse cast blah blah blah we all got together and started doing stuff and became friends and just kept doing that shit we were rushing through this part because we've told the story so many fucking times like hopefully this isn't your first PCP interview or episode because like we've literally told this fucking story of how we all met dozens of times certainly dozens of times yeah yeah and that show biz how far in are we we are two hours 38 minutes 38 minutes 38 feels like feels like we've reached the hours I don't know if I'll just keep asking you about shit I guess yeah well so so t-bap you guys kept doing it for we stuck with it for a while I want to emphasize this as well that when season 4 ended me and hippo were done like or gibbon at the time mostly yeah I think we did like a couple more gibbon's like his final video came out like a couple months later I think but after that yeah he did like the one about clop or whatever and one about diamond tiara he doesn't like I love that video I think it's great um I think he just doesn't like the way like people react to it or something like that but he he went on for a little while but didn't really go farther I quit in like after season 4 I hardline stopped covering My Little Pony stopped watching it never talked about it again he left the fandom that piece of shit I actually how dare you so for those who don't know this is a huge meme in the My Little Pony not even a meme something they take seriously like it's an offense you committed a crime it's like you either are in or out there is no like there's no like waning interest or like hey guys I just want to work on other stuff it's like if you're not still producing My Little Pony content then you have left the fandom and that's the phrase they use and like yeah it's like a huge offense like to leave the fandom so I left the fandom um and gibbon wasn't really doing much but like Jesse took a whole fucking year putting together horsey finale like he wasn't until 2015 and then you guys came back for season 5 and did the whole fucking season in podcast form just without the animation I was already on the fence there was much discussion as to whether or not to even do it because we had like other ideas and the only reason you did was because the patreon because we had patreon it's like and ben was a big driving force for that stuff wanting to do it for the money and you know nothing against him I understand but like season 4 ended there was a huge gap between season 4 and 5 and that's when you guys got out the big gun videos is that when we did um phantom reviews had to have been in that time yeah that's right you guys were working on like huge projects that were like kind of operating the background of the the weekly reviews which again come together in like an hour we all were like it's funny to think we're currently in this period of like let's get back to making smaller easier videos when we all launched our careers by doing videos that we made in literally a couple hours you know that's the fascinating thing about it that I think about a lot I'm sort of lamenting to myself the fact that the pony days were perfect for me in terms of like the time crunch because having that deadline of get it out as soon as fucking possible as god damn deadline be the first having that goal in my framework of like how we were making videos was so helpful for a guy like me who does have a tendency to get lost in the details and obsess over little things that ultimately just to have diminishing returns having that crunch time was so good and that's why I describe it as like the most productive time in my life like working on those except for Mia Maffova that was the best Mia Maffova unquestionably is like vastly I cut down on this is the first time in my life I really have cut into my sleep and my like ability to live to make content in a big way and like we're talking like two hours of sleep at night and it was hard like I fueled myself with coffee and caffeine and like god I don't know my work guys were thinking of me I mean I did the work but I don't know I don't know maybe it was okay I really don't remember hopefully it was okay and it was a big deal I just I often think about like what would my co-workers think if they you know knew all this shit and like I have I regret it but I have told them that like I do this shit and I have shared like the channel name just because like what are you gonna do if they's like hey what's your channel what are you gonna say I don't want to talk about it you just gotta pony it up hey I love my little pony so I wonder if any of them are watching like I'm walking around in my work right all these guys are working on software development they're thinking about like enterprise level systems deploying to like various companies like fucking Boeing and Honeywell like big defense contractors and shit I'm thinking about like I gotta go home and work on this like anime review and like tell you know like 17,000 people and now like getting close to 40,000 people how good fucking Angels Egg is and like how how great that is written like shit how great this one obscure boss in this new Kingdom Hearts spinoff that's an important video fucking game is that's a message that I'm really glad I got to get out God thank God for me and Mavva enabling me to get out all these things that I had bottled up yeah well that's what I'm so excited about is that me and Mavva to me the funny thing about it is that to you it was as little effort as possible but what it really represents to me is a middle ground that is my low effort you know the middle ground that's as low effort as I can go because for me my content has gotten to a point where it's all either a good enough script that Davoo can do it or I'm gonna do it and therefore it's going to be nothing you know like I am not going to do anything with this except for what is required for it it's not that my content is all exactly the same sometimes something different or interesting happens but like me and Mavva kicked it up a little I look at it and I think ok this is what I'm doing but if I actually thought about each video basically if I thought of it as a video you can make in a day instead of a video you can make in an hour I was explaining this to you that to me there's the two kinds of videos I make are a written video which takes a day or two and then it's out of my hands or a vlog which is it has to be done in one sitting you know like one concentrated burst and I can do four of them in a day and me and Mavva to me was like oh this is what the middle of that would look like of like I can spend a few hours on a video and I mean I've done stuff like this before I don't know if you ever saw my handfuls of Zen videos sure I've seen those yeah that's like very similar mindset to me and Mavva which is like it's people want more of those you know I want to make more of those and like it's that combination of like unscripted but there's lots of notes and there's a level of editing to it and there's like prep work to be done it can be done in a day but it's you know it's not something that's just fucking I turned on a camera and then uploaded it right you know and like what was so exciting to me watching me and Mavva was like if like all I could think was you put out just I mean even four of these a month like if you put the level of effort that it took to make three Miamaphavas into one video and released it once a week this is the greatest channel of all time you know like one video a week at the level of three Miamaphavas of effort and you can do seven Miamaphavas of effort in a week if you had to but you're not going to time crunch stuff like that for the rest of your life but if you left your job you could put seven Miamaphavas of effort in a day that's why it's really not a joke like what a big difference me leaving my job will really make this is not a meme to trick people to get money out of you it really will be a world changing thing for my channel and if you care about getting more content faster that's the thing to do I hope people like really sit back I know it's harder for the audience to make videos like fully process the difference here but like Nate spent those two months that you worked on like the loose from the biscuit hammer video like I won't say you were working as much as you did during Miamaphava but like that was consistent work I worked every day like my evenings were editing for two months that's what they were and that video was overdone you shouldn't have spent that but like imagine you can see the work that's in it though imagine though if you could have done that if you didn't have a day job you could have done it in two weeks and with Miamaphava those 30 videos you could have done if you didn't have a day job and you had done Miamaphava exactly the same way you literally could have done two months you could have just cut out the time you spent at work and done another Miamaphava in that time it could have been two videos a day and that could have been two months worth of content if you guys want to see best guy ever stockpile like you know let's say you didn't have to work for two months and you decided to do Miamaphava level videos all day every day you're gonna end up with like a year let's say you stagger the releases for once a week you've got a year of videos in two months you know, I hear you on that but you know one thing that people don't really talk about as much that I think a lot about when it comes to Miamaphava is how I really went out of my way to make it an event to make it a spectacle that's my Huey's Law in action right there it's got it's own theme song it's got it's own logo it's got merchandise and only you could deliver on that because I fall into this trap about continuously and it's a real psychological principle that if you talk about something you're planning to do you're less likely to do it because it gives you the vindication of like you know just describing it makes you feel like you did it and you don't fall into that you talk about stuff years in advance yeah that's true like I mean I knew I've known about your ghost in the shell video for two fucking years I announced it two years ago I didn't do it at all at that point yeah like there's just this somehow you are just disciplined in a way if I had announced Miamaphava I wouldn't have done it as you may know I did a whole month of a video every day October 2014 and I never mentioned what I was doing until like the last video really towards the end I did a video on the first three episodes of Shiro Bako somebody who's been doing this deliberate one video a day all month and here's the fucked up part no one noticed I was doing it not one commenter ever mentioned that I've done a video every day between yours and mine that difference right there just because mine were of such like my audience was like weird and in this transitional phase into anime so like some of the videos would be like the biggest video I've ever made and then another one would have like one thousand views so like people just weren't seeing all of them was this because you were afraid that you might not miss a deadline or something? it was 100% that I was afraid if I talked about it I wouldn't finish it because that had proven true every time I've ever talked about a project I'm with you on that but to focus on me because my problems matter more than yours this is your interview that's right the fear I had is definitely a fear and of course it's inevitable with this is that I would fail I actually had some other ideas in mind beforehand that I floated around with a couple of people just seeing what's done I think this is why you can do it and I can't is because you're way more afraid of failure than I am because what actually would have been the consequence of me and Mav of a failing me being embarrassed that's it your audience would have been like well he couldn't do it he would have felt like dumb for a couple days maybe a couple weeks I don't care about that I fuck up so frequently that it doesn't matter I've got a character as somebody who my audience literally doesn't expect me to finish anything that I start because I've started so many shows that just die but for you just the sheer level of I can't fail at this carry it all the way through that's a good thing I think it's a healthy mindset to have if you're proud of the product and I always am yeah you look very tired I am somewhat tired we're almost at three hours we can crank out a little more some of them are like a few minutes short of three hours it doesn't have to be exact I want three hours god damn it let's talk about I'm wondering if somebody finally interviews me in this series is it gonna be three hours or am I gonna there's like a thing yours will be like everyone's to combine we're talking like a 25 hour interview here that would be fucking epic it would be epic well it really depends on who's interviewing me and how long are they willing to go I was wondering about that maybe we could split it up everyone does a piece I'll come with our questions I feel like nobody's curious enough about me to want to do an interview we know everything we'll have to come up with something what um what's your favorite anime why are you asking me what's your favorite anime I'm filling time did you we're almost there we can do it I know your favorite anime has grown the gun your favorite manga is one piece your favorite movie is American beauty that's true I'd be happy to I think if anybody's seen American beauty you'd understand very much why it is a movie about casting off the shackles of societal expectations and like embracing your dreams is really what it's about and every character in the movie does that to an extent for example if you give a shit I'd highly recommend watching it do whatever you want but the main character Kevin Spacey he wants to fuck his teenage daughter's hot ass girlfriend like her buddy she's like captain of the cheerleading squad she's like a model manasavari he wants to fuck this girl and she's 17, 18 something along those lines like he sets up his whole life where he so he worked this shitty corporate job and he fucking hated it it's actually very similar to Fight Club in a lot of ways he just says fuck it one day I'm done it's slipping my mind right now because it's been a little while since I've seen the show why exactly he does it I have to think about that I remember it's because he meets a new neighbor a new neighbor moves to town like the weird kid who gives him some weed and he gets high and he just has some revelations this is god damn job in a brilliant way he literally says to his boss like they're doing corporate restructuring look, if you I'm going to quit now and if I'm going to say that you asked me if you could blow me and sexually harass me if you don't give me a huge severance package and oh by the way the movie starts with him just saying as an announcer he's dead in one year so know that going in that's just how it starts so he does this anyway he finally like mans up and uses his leverage to fuck over this company that's been screwing him and not treating him like the way that he deserves to be treated and he just he pieces and he leaves and like now he's got like this money where he can just live on for like a while he's got like a year's salary which lines up perfectly with like the time he's going to die at the end and he immediately goes and gets a shitty job at a burger joint just to get another job he's like I want to sell them my life and so he starts working there because he wants a job with zero responsibility anymore like this guy is just unburdening himself that's what he's unburdening himself with the shackles of like of his job and like then his family is another huge thing so he's got his wife Carolyn and his daughter Judy whatever and his wife is a frigid bitch who is like just not I don't know they don't vibe you know they've grown apart over the years they used to be really into each other but like so he starts like exercising right he starts working out and over the course of the year he gets fucking fit he gets swole to an extent as much as you can get in a year and it's just about this self improvement shit right like something happens to this guy he has an awakening he's like you know what fuck this I'm going to take charge of my life and actually go over the things I want so I think you can tell why something like that would appeal to me but it's not just about that guy because all the other characters do it too like Carolyn his wife she starts cheating on him she starts having an affair but she is like so happy and empowered by it that like it's not good to cheat on people but what she's realizing is like I have been unhappy in the situation I'm in I need to do something I need to like change this has got to end this is no good and so she has her own little development arc related around that Judy I believe it's Judy like you know she's best friends with this girl that like her father lusts after and she feels like so self conscious and like thinks she's ugly and all this shit and this new neighbor kid moves to town and he like he introduces her he like makes her believe that she's beautiful and like makes her feel happy for the first time in her life and they fall in love and they you know do the do and it's totally hot she totally shows her tits they just mimed to be like finger I did the finger I did the hole in your finger and put your other finger through the hole yeah they did the sex it was sick and and it's it's about you know it's about all that shit it's about like just saying fuck it and doing what you really want to do with your life and not giving a fuck what anybody thinks anymore that's what it's really about I can't remember if I talked about this in Ben's interview or where I did that I'm endlessly fascinated by the fact that your favorite movie is American beauty and his is American psycho that's one of my favorites but that is interesting isn't it that they're both like not just that the titles are the same but just the like one is all about like this vision of self betterment and like becoming the perfect you and the other one is about like this underlying insane neurosis behind everybody yeah and I just feel like it matches up with both of you perfectly isn't that interesting you guys are you and Ben to me have always been like like mirror reflections of the same person like like a like a nega version yeah like like one of you was the nega version of the other I don't know which because Ben and I talk and I like I've come to understand through a lot of our like the PCP conversations I have this extremely optimistic view about people how like I really think that humanity can like evolve and develop and change and you know like there's a future for us if we work hard at it and strive to achieve it Ben is extremely not like that he's like no people are fucked you know why are we wasting our time and it's weird because that's like that seems like such a fundamental difference but like aside from like the basic mindset you to have like the actual like person is extremely similar yeah like the ways you talk and think and act are very similar but then like the mentality is totally different and like almost opposed maybe it goes to show that like because Ben and I you know we grew up together exposed to all the same shit for the most part that like that kind of that part of your brain like your your fundamental like psychological and not psychological philosophical approach to like the way you live maybe it's less impactful on your personality than we would assume you know maybe we are a little more divided in our brains than we think yeah maybe it's maybe maybe you have the same left brain but totally different right brains or whatever the fuck yeah that's nobody fucking science me on that just spitballing philosophical and by the way I just want to say that at the end of American beauty what what is the best thing about that movie is that the way it ends is is wonderful it ends with so at you know at the beginning of the movie Kevin Spacey says like I'm gonna be dead in a year here's like the story of that year so all these crazy things happen like everybody changes their life all this crazy improvements are happening and Kevin Spacey at the end through some shenanigans that are just too complex to go into he ends up getting murdered by his next door neighbor okay well just his next door neighbor is like the father of the new kid who's like who's changed everybody's life that guy is like a military dad but he's actually gay and he's been repressing it like his entire life and over the course of the movie you find out that like oh wow this guy's actually gay and like on this last night he just he's like feeling really vulnerable because his son is gonna run away with the daughter like they've had this gigantic fight so he just walks over to his neighbor like he ends up at Kevin Spacey's garage and he's just like it's raining he's like what the fuck's happening and Kevin Spacey's just like hey come in no it's okay man what's I'll take care of you what's going on with your life and they like he ends up kissing him and so like it's that it's at that moment that the the colonel or whatever realizes like someone knows someone knows my fucking secret now and long story short like so he comes over he kills Kevin Spacey just shoots him in the back of the head from behind but and what's what's cool about is like all these characters are set up like they could be the one who killed Kevin Spacey like his daughter kind of has a reason to do it because like she's gonna run away and like he might try to stop her and the wife actually has a gun and is headed home because like she's fed up with like the stuff that he's been doing to like get back at her for cheating on him with that other guy so he gets killed by the next or neighbor guy and but like it's the way that he dies and the film you know really focuses on this like he's looking at like a picture of his family specifically I think his little daughter when when she was a little girl and he's just like so overjoyed that he was able to experience like the life of his of his of his daughter and like his wife when they were when they were in love and like he gets shot and he's dying and like the the characters like they come in they see him dead but they look at him and he's smiling he's smiling and there's this speech at the end of how like when you're dying it's not like the lights got instantly it's that all the experiences of your life like stretch out like a vast ocean and you just witness them as they're passing you by and it it goes on to an infinite degree so it's almost like you never actually die it's just like your existence continues forever and like the takeaway from that is just like that's the value that life has and don't waste it on bullshit that you don't give a fuck about you know do things that are meaningful to you and and you find value in and bring you joy and legitimate you know satisfaction and uh you know as a guy who lived like a little faggot bitch for a long time in his life and then something changed and I decided to do things differently you know guy things like that guys like Kamina who just do whatever the fuck they want to do and don't give a shit about the consequences even though I'm not that guy I I really want to be and I work to be more like that there you go that's me sick it's the best guy ever are we at 3 hours yet we're past 3 hours we're at 302 we did it we did it a full analysis of American beauty took us over yes it did literally you could probably you could repackage that as a behalf of a probably maybe I will a GM a GM or something all right well god may fucking end yeah I was thinking with the J but that someone had pointed out the comments on the the Aramanga video that we did last night like literally the night after BMF so it basically isn't even over I know that like I said in the last video like yo I probably won't even take a day off and so I didn't and we uh thought of maybe that was like actually a day later but whatever so yeah here we are again see I'm not quitting people I'm a real deal I'm committed neither we're not capable this is why you should be supporting both of us on Patreon right we are human content machines we don't have other purposes in this world that's exactly the only thing we know how to do I have eliminated all other distractions in my life deliberately so that I can focus on doing the thing that I have found brings me my satisfaction and my joy just like Mr. Kevin Spacey would want from American beauty if you like listening to me and Nate talk on this these bullshit podcast get Nate's Patreon up to a point where he feels comfortable moving out maybe he and I will more successfully than than I did with Ben and DeVoo not that I had ever really planned those two to be like my guys that I was going to do stuff with but me and you have a lot of ideas of what we could do if we lived close together so uh move Nate and I uh nearer yes nearer not in the same house I'm done with that life Ben is a lazy piece of shit but I might be willing to indulge him and just move to wherever he is to get him involved and he wants us all to go there and I wouldn't mind I resent him for forcing me my whole life to just go along with his pace because he is the lazy piece of shit if I want him involved I have to slave around what he wants but you know in this case it might actually work out pretty nice so hey maybe that will happen yeah or somewhere else whatever hashtag get us all somewhere yeah hashtag buy me out nigga alright everybody thanks for listening thanks guys hope you enjoyed look forward to Tom, Mage and maybe me in the future we'll see what happens bye guys