 Okay, so you want to attract a great guy into your life, but maybe if you're like many of the women in our community, maybe you believe that there aren't all that many guys out there, maybe you've gotten into a friend with benefits situation and then decided that that's not really what you want. Could be a whole bunch of different scenarios here of what you've gotten into, but bottom line is that you want to attract a great guy into your life. And so today, I'm going to share with you a secret to attracting a great man into your life and you're going to want to hear this and it's really awesome, so here we go. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you like my work and you like the things that I'm doing, make sure that you sign up for my program. It's called The Forever Woman. You can get it at the Forever Woman formula for free, so go there and check it out. So how do you attract a great guy into your life? So, you know, there's a lot of things out there that I've seen, especially in our community where a lot of women kind of get there, they have a lot of bad beliefs, they have a lot of kind of junk in their minds and the problem with having all of that junk in your mind about things like, there are no good men out there, good men are hard to find, good men aren't where I live, it's really difficult to find good men, all that kind of stuff is that whatever you believe in your mind and you believe it strongly will end up, you'll end up experiencing it in your world. It's just, it's a fact. I've experienced this over and over again. There are plenty of women in our community that have experienced this and have experienced changing their beliefs and so today what I'm going to do is kind of a baseline exercise and activity with you about attracting a great guy into your life that you need to do before you even go outside, right? And so this is something that you're gonna be doing at home by yourself, you don't need to have anyone around, there's not gonna be any men involved in this. This is all gonna be about shifting some of the thoughts in your mind about who it is that you're attracting into your life. And so the first thing that you're gonna be doing here is what you should go do is, you know, if you're watching the replay of this, go and get, like pause the video and go and get a sheet of paper and bring it back in a pencil or a pen and do this exercise as we go along. If you're here with me right now, just make a mental note of this, we'll talk about it later, I'll write it in the description and you can do it later. So the first thing that you're gonna wanna do is you're going to want to write out what you want to experience in your ideal relationship. And so one of the big problems that a lot of women have is they'll create like this, these long sheets, right? I met a woman one time and she had such a huge checklist of all the things that she wanted in a man. It was like, I mean, like if you lined up all the sheets together, like would like go out, you know, like go down to the floor and outside into the other room, right? And so like the problem with doing that is that, you know, there's certain must haves and there's certain like, I kind of like it or whatever, but what you're doing is you're really missing out on the thing that's most important and the thing that is most important is what you're experiencing in this relationship. And that's what you really wanna be focusing on when you're trying to attract the right guy to you is focusing on the experience. Like what do you want to experience? You know, if you're just focusing on his traits and his looks, you may end up missing out on a great guy who's in front of you because you're looking at the wrong things. And so, you know, and then there's the case also with a lot of women who are like looking at all the bad things and they're looking for red flags all the time. And so you want to write, you wanna write this down, right? Take like five, 10 minutes and just write out what it is that you want to experience in a relationship. You know, like I want to experience having, you know, just total love and total acceptance. I want to be, feel loved all the time. I wanna feel accepted. I wanna feel seen. I wanna feel like I'm important to a man. I wanna feel like he cherishes me. I want to cherish him. I want to give to him. I want to receive from him. I want to, you know, lay out on a field and, you know, in his arms and look up at the stars. And I want, and just, you know, whatever comes into your head, just take like five to 10 minutes and just write it out all out, right? Like I want to have, you know, a Christmas where, you know, we come together and we are just, you know, excited to see each other and we visit each other's families and it's just amazing. I wanna travel together. I want to go and see, you know, Japan with him and, you know, assimilate into another culture or whatever, whatever is going on there, right? So, just, you know, put together whatever it is that you want to experience in a relationship with this guy. And so, again, if you're watching this video and you're watching right now, make sure that you type in the chat, say hi and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's cool to see so many women from all over the world watching these videos. So that's the first thing you wanna do. You wanna write out what you want this experience, this relationship, the experience of this relationship to look like. And the second thing that you wanna do is you wanna write out your why. So first you write out what you wanna experience and then you write out, like why? Like what will this give you in your life? Like write down all the reasons that this is something that you absolutely must have and you wanna do this because you want to have a burning desire for why this is absolutely important to you. That way you're far less likely to end up sabotaging things when you find it. And if you're anything like me, I've done this many times in my life where I'm looking at something that I want, whether it's a relationship or it's a business opportunity or whether it's something else that's going on in my life. And sometimes I'll end up sabotaging it because I've got kind of these old habits and behaviors that I have that aren't conducive to doing and attracting and keeping what it is that I want. And so you want to create this burning desire that way when you start to experience these things or you at least start having the potential of experiencing these things instead of running away and doing what you normally do, right? Like if you're one of those women that when a really attractive guy comes up and approaches you and starts talking to you, you start like running away, right? There's a lot of that kind of thing going on out there. Instead of doing that, you move towards it and you allow it to be something that you receive into your life. And so the third thing is to ask what will it cost you if you don't have this type of relationship in your life? And so the reason that you want to do this is because you don't want to end up in a relationship that isn't what you want. We have so many women in our community that have ended up in friend with benefits situations. They've ended up in casual situations. Many times it's because they don't know what they want. And other times it's because they're afraid of actually getting into a situation that you really want, right? Because I mean, think about having these relationships. If you're really in a relationship where you're loved and you're seen and you're cherished by a great guy. I mean, think about how nerve-wracking that can be. It's very risky, right? All of a sudden you have to start opening up and he might find things that he doesn't like and what if he ends up rejecting you? And so there's all these things that you might end up experiencing that could just make you run out of the relationship altogether. And so you want to have this thing where you know what it will cost you so that you don't end up sabotaging the relationship and so that you end up moving towards it and so that you don't end up getting into a relationship that isn't the kind of relationship that you ultimately want to have. And so that you actively strive to create the relationship that you do want with the guy that you end up meeting, right? And if you end up meeting a guy and you start trying to create the relationship that you do want, but you've worked it out in your mind. You're like, if I'm not in a great relationship, it's gonna cost me love. It's gonna cost me acceptance. It's gonna cost me a part of myself. It's gonna cost me feeling like I'm actually alone and that I'm just in this mediocre relationship and who wants to settle for a mediocre relationship anyway? I mean, it's just like, why would you do that? Why would you waste your precious time that you have here on the earth in some kind of mediocre relationship that isn't really going anywhere? And so if you get what I'm talking about here in the chat, say, I get it. If you don't get what I'm talking about, go ahead and ask any question that you have about, you know, what's going on? You know, what am I talking about? Any question that you have whatsoever, ask it in the chat. I'll get to it here in a minute. So next, what you want to do is you want to look, you want to take this list that you have, right? So you have these three things. You have, you've written out what you want to experience in a relationship. You've written out why this is important to you and you've written out what it will cost you if you don't have this type of relationship in your life. And what you want to do is you want to start looking at this every single day. And so you want to end up programming it into your subconscious mind. It takes about five minutes every day to do this. It's not a big commitment and it'll make such a massive difference in your life. And so the way that you want to do this though is there's actually a structure to this that I've found has been really effective for me and other people have found that it's been incredibly effective for them when they're kind of programming their mind and they're thinking about what they want and they're setting themselves up to start receiving what it is that they want in their lives. And the way that this looks is you start playing some music that inspires you. Something light, something that makes you feel just inspired and strong and powerful and like you want to experience the love and the grace of life. And then what you want to do is you want to get into a state of gratitude for what it is that you already have. So start with yourself and just start thinking about the things that you have. Maybe it's your health. Maybe it's your ability to see. Maybe it's the wealth that you have. Maybe it's the country that you live in. Maybe it's the people that you have around you. Whatever it is that you have in your life just get into a state of gratitude and really try to feel and experience the gratitude that you have for the world around you and for what you have in your life. And it's very important that you get into the emotional state of gratitude and being appreciative of what it is that you already have in your life. After that, you want to go over what it is that you want. So the list that you already wrote about what it is that you want, it's important that you go over that so that when you're in that state of gratitude you're programming your mind to come from a place of gratitude and appreciation so that you tell your brain that you want this, right? It'll tell your brain that you want this and it's very important. It activates your reticular activation system which basically there's kind of this metaphor out there where it's like you decide that you wanna buy a red sports car and then all of a sudden you start seeing red sports cars all around. It happened with me. I bought a Jeep a while back and it was like after I bought that Jeep it was like I saw Jeeps everywhere on the road. Maybe you've experienced the same thing but so this is what ends up happening is you start telling your brain this is important. This is something that I want. This is something that's positive and it's something that I care about and that I'm appreciative of and that I'm willing to receive into my life. And then you wanna go over the reasons why this is important to you so you really start hammering home why this is important, what you're gonna benefit, how you're gonna benefit from this once you receive it, how your life is gonna change, how it's gonna be amazing for you and your life. And then sometimes if you want to what you wanna do is just go over like what it's gonna cost you and just the way that I've seen it done before and I've seen other people do it and it's been really valuable is just ranting about what it's gonna cost you. Some people are like oh don't do that because then you attract the things that you don't want but if you switch into like a negative state and you're like oh I don't wanna experience this because that sucks, right? It does the opposite, it tells your brain I don't want that, that's a negative get it away from me, right? Cause there's things in your life that you already feel that way about, right? And especially like for instance imagine the political situation in America or the world or whatever right now there may be some political candidates where you think about them and immediately you're like oh that's a horrible person and I don't like that, I don't like this, you know whatever and that's because there's a negative association in your mind to it. So immediately you go I don't like that, I don't want that and you know get that away from me and that's the same kind of thing that you wanna have around the cost, right? That way once you go into a situation like I said you don't end up sabotaging it and instead you embrace it you will open yourself up to allowing yourself to receive it into your life. And so that's what I'm gonna be talking about today that's what I've talked about today if you have any questions about your situation or anything that's going on go ahead and ask a question in the chat and let's go see, let's go see who's in the chat today and see what is going on here. So, Wagendorf, Wagendorf, great, great name there Wagendorf says I want a man who sees little arguments we have as something that moves us forward and he grows deeper in love knowing we both love each other and care enough to talk things out. So that's kind of a really specific and weird thing, right? And it sounds like something that might end up getting you hung up on what's actually in front of you. Like when you're like talking or when you're kind of creating this thing about like what it is that you actually want what you wanna do is you want, like I said you wanna focus on the experiences and so you're focusing on like this very nuanced niche little thing that may or may not be there in a guy and it's like, you know like a man who sees little arguments we have as something that moves us forward like, you know, is that really that important? You know, like maybe something that might be a lot more important to you is growth, right? So somebody that I can be with who I want to grow with because right now it sounds like you're kind of attached to this idea of having little arguments with a man and making him see that it moves you forward where really what you want to have is a relationship that grows in depth that grows through each other and where you feel comfortable talking to each other and hashing things out and figuring out what it is that you want and, you know, like having somebody who doesn't look at things as black and white like we either everything's either perfect or it's horrible and instead looking at things where, you know, you're trying to grow and evolve and do some cool things in your life and so that's my suggestion on that one. So if I were you, I would kind of throw out the, you know a man who sees little arguments and instead think of like, you know what do you want to experience? Do you want to experience growth? Do you want to experience a depth and deeper growing into love and knowing each other and accepting each other and loving each other and, you know, willing to deal with conflict in a healthy, empowering way because that seems like it's a little bit too nuanced for what it is that we're doing here. So hello, hello, hello. I get it, I get it, Norma says hi. Judy says, honestly, it comes down to how I feel around them. That's important, right? And that's what you're trying to do here is create an experience of feeling like what do you want to feel? LeVon says, what if I give him three months to get his head right towards me? Should I text a little and very minimally? Well, I'm not sure what your situation is. So LeVon, all you're asking is, you know if you should give a guy three months but you have to tell me a little bit more about your situation in order for me to help you. I have no idea what your situation is so there's no way that I can tell you about what you should be doing in your situation. Lori says, I gave up on finding love. Yeah, and there's a lot of women and men who have given up on finding love altogether. Like I was, I think I was talking about it in my last live stream. There is, I was talking to this friend of mine the other day and she was talking about how this guy is this Peruvian guy that she went on a date with was like talking about how he only like all the women that he meets out there, all they want is to sleep around and hook up with dudes and all that kind of stuff and that it's very difficult for him to find a woman who wants a real relationship out there. And you know, it's, it's, there's a lot of difficulties on both sides and a lot of people are giving up and you're welcome to give up on love if you want to. I don't, you know, obviously you're here watching this live stream. So there's a part of you that still cares and that still wants it. And so my suggestion is that you reframe your mind and you change the way that you think and you start focusing on attracting love and creating love and go get my program. It's all about that, right? Part of it is about changing your mindset. Go to theforeverwomanformula.com it's called the forever woman and it'll help you change your mindset on love and relationships and what you want and what you deserve and give you a system for going out and attracting the right guy and getting into the best situation that you possibly can because that's incredibly important that you do. So Sarah says, I've been told I give off an unapproachable demeanor more than once. I'm so friendly, but how do I change that? Will this exercise help make me more receptive? It could, right? Because it'll, it'll kind of shift your mindset to being really like making this something that's really important. It's possible that it could be something else. I'd have to know more about you and your situation and what people were saying. Like what are some other people, other things that people have said about you that you might be able to tell me that may give me a better idea about what they mean about your demeanor and how you're kind of unapproachable. And, you know, even if you're friendly, you might have like, you know, what do they call that resting bitch face where you're like, you know, I've got it, right? Like if I'm like walking around people, people are always like, are you angry, you know? And I'm like, no, my face just looks, just looks like I'm angry all the time, right? It's just like something that you have and you can just practice smiling and that can help, you know? And so if that's something that, that might end up helping you a lot, is just smiling, practice looking at guys, you know, when you're out and trying to make eye contact with them and smile and that kind of the thing. Because if it, you know, it could be, you might be friendly when somebody approaches, but maybe beforehand you're not, I'd have to know more about your situation. Jada says, was wondering why you deleted the Facebook group with us women? I didn't delete the Facebook group, it's still there. Facebook group is still there. Julie Tree says, how are you supposed to get his attention when they won't talk to you, especially when you try not to bother them so much? Well, you don't get their attention if they don't wanna talk to you. If they don't wanna talk to you, they're not interested. You need to, you need to respect that and only go for somebody who wants to talk to you and get to know you better and have a relationship with you. If you're trying to get the attention of somebody that doesn't wanna talk to you, you're starting off in a really bad place and it's only gonna end up getting worse. And so what you need to do is start where with somebody that values you and wants to talk to you and wants to spend a whole bunch of time with you and communicating with you, it's very easy to know if a guy's interested or not. He will have a movement towards you. He will pursue you. He will go after you. And if he's not doing that, then you're in the wrong situation. You're talking to the wrong guy. So there's closed doors and there's open doors. You wanna go through a door that's open. Think about like guys opening doors for you from a gentleman's standpoint. You wanna go through doors where men have opened it for you. You don't wanna go knocking and banging on doors that are closed or doors that have other women on the other side of it or any of that kind of stuff. You wanna leave all that alone and you only wanna go through doors where men are guiding you through and allowing you through and wanting you to go through so that you can be on the other side with them. You don't wanna go through doors that are closed. So Irene says, I want to restore my relationship with my husband. Okay, I'm not gonna read the rest of that one. This video ended up getting demonetized if I read that. So Patty says, so the past seven or eight dates I've had these past few months have been insane. I'm very upfront about not having a future relationship about hooking up, but the third date in or even the first, it's all they want. I'm at a loss. Well, you have to understand what kind of a culture, there's a couple of things you have to understand about that, right? Just because a guy wants to get physically intimate with you doesn't mean that he doesn't want something more with you, right? But that also doesn't mean that he does, right? So you have to one understand how men work and men want to hook up with you, right? That's how men work. Men see women, they're attracted to them and they wanna hook up with them. You need to have the conversation about what they're looking for and you need to make sure that they're the right kind of guy for you. You need to make sure that they have a deep emotional connection with you and you need to make sure that they are pursuing you in a way that shows that they're investing in you and so that at some point they'll end up wanting to commit to you and they're all going to want to hook up with you and most of them will want to try to do that somewhere between the first and third date because that is the norm in our society right now and that's just something that you have to understand. If you went to another society, it's different, right? If you went to Eastern Europe, for instance and a lot of Eastern European countries, it's normal to wait for a long period of time before that ends up happening and so or some Eastern Asian countries and stuff, it's different. It's different everywhere you go in the world. That's one of those cultural things that you have to understand, especially like in Western countries that we live in the world of the hookup culture and so you just have to make sure that you have boundaries and you have standards and that men are living up to those boundaries and standards and that you're getting into a situation that's really good for you and my suggestion is that you go and pick up the Forever Woman program at theforeverwomanfornula.com because I go over exactly what that's all about and how to do that and all that kind of stuff in that program and so make sure that you've got a copy of it. It's free. Go over there and check it out. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. All right, what else do we have here? Joanna says, is it bad if you think about a guy all the time? He's in her life, but she wants more. So you're saying is it bad if a girl who has a guy in her life thinks about him all the time? Well, you know, you don't want to be in a situation where you're totally obsessing over a man and so there's something that I talk about in the Forever Woman program and it's called abundance, right? It's called the abundance principle and what you wanna have is an abundance of connection. That way you're far less likely to obsess over a man. It's also possible that she might have an anxious attachment style, which is another thing altogether where she would probably need to spend some time doing some healing work over herself. So she would kinda need to figure out which one it is. First thing that you wanna do though is you wanna create an abundance of connection so you want to start creating more connections, more friendships, more relationships with people, not necessarily men if you're in a committed relationship but if you're not in a committed relationship, you definitely want to go and get an abundance of options with men and connections with men. That way you're not totally obsessing over this guy and if you're still doing that, you need to find out what's going on within you that makes you feel like you want to be obsessed with a guy and whether it's an anxious attachment style or what else is going on, might possibly be going on there and then do some healing work if it is. So Kat says, is that a watermelon behind you? It is. It's a watermelon behind you. My mom, I'm at my mom's house. I'm spending some time here in Ohio. I'm in Ohio at the moment and this is a watermelon and I have to share it. It's a pretty good watermelon. So anyway, yep. Levan said he ghosted five days before Christmas and he sent me a stupid picture to impress me. I heard a coach saying, try giving him three months to miss you. I don't know what that's about. Sarah says, I think maybe trust issues are the issue and fear of getting close. Definitely eye contact and confidence. Yeah, I mean, if you personally, if you're talking about you having trust issues, that's definitely something that you can work on and you have to figure out what it is that you have trust issues about and then if you have trust issues with men, you might want to just start making some male friends and just getting around some good men and you can do that specifically if you join personal growth communities because there'll be some good men in those communities and whenever you're in a community, it tends that people are far more likely to, like guys are far more likely to really be held accountable. And so they tend to treat people better in communities because they know that if they do something weird that everybody's gonna find out about it and they'll be ostracized from the community. And so you wanna join communities and talk to people about who are the good men, who you can be friends with and spend some time with those friends if you have trust issues within yourself and then spend some time doing healing work on whatever it is, the issues that you have are that have come up, that gave you the trust issues if it's like emotional trauma from your past or whatever it is that made you have trust issues, spend some time working on those. And there's a lot of different ways that you can do that. Wagendorf says, I like the idea that women have the mindset of choosing whether the guy is a good partner rather than worrying that you're good enough for him, have that self-respect. Yeah, and that's really where you wanna come from. Like is this guy a good guy for me? Is he going to create the experience that I, and this is why it's so important, right? You have to learn what you want because if you don't know what you want then you're just gonna take whatever and you will be worrying about whether you're good enough for him. And if you know what it is that you want and you've done the healing work, if you have past emotional trauma and all that kind of stuff then it's a lot easier for you to come from a space of like is this guy going to be able to fulfill the needs that I have in creating the type of relationship that I wanna have. So that is very, very important. All right, what else do we have here? So Brazilian Girl says, do you recommend dating multiple men so you don't focus on the one you actually want when he's playing hard to get? Yes, I do actually. And I talk all about that in the Forever Woman program. You can get it at theforeverwomanformula.com. I talk all about creating abundance, right? And the type of abundance you're talking about is the abundance of options, right? You wanna create an orbit. You wanna create an orbit of men around you, right? And the ones who want to step up will step up and the ones that wanna play games and do other stuff will stay in the orbit and will end up leaving, hopefully, and going somewhere else. And the ones that really want to pursue you and create the right type of relationship with you will come in and pursue you for the type of relationship that you want. And if you don't want them, you can always push them away as well. So it's definitely better because you don't wanna be just clinging onto one guy, right? Because you're like, oh, I just have this one guy and this is it and this is better than nothing. So I'm just gonna hang on to him and just stay with him because I don't wanna be alone and because being alone sucks. And that's why it's incredibly valuable that as long as you're not exclusive and in a committed relationship with a guy that you meet lots of guys and have lots of guys that you can choose from. And when I talk about lots of guys, I specifically talk about three, right? Like you don't wanna be dating any more than three guys at a time because if you're dating more than that, you'll start forgetting who's what and where's what and what story somebody said and you'll start saying stupid things because you think somebody said a story but it was a different guy and then you had the same conversation twice and you're just like, I don't even know what's going on anymore and you make an idiot of yourself and then you just wanna cry and fall into a hole. So don't do that. But at the most, my suggestion is three dudes. Three dudes. Irina says, your face, Matthew, looks very attractive and masculine. Well, I appreciate that. My face does look very attractive and masculine. Thank you. Amy says, yeah, I am about there myself because I am so invested, caring, understanding and I don't feel he is invested or really ready for something long-term enough even though we are long distance, I feel or he shows, he is not giving up. He says he cares and we have the connection every day but I feel it's getting less in communication. I understand he's busy and he got his own life but and so I do wish he would slowly really tell me how he feels, what he wants. I've been so patient. It's been seven months. Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things like if a guy has issues, if a guy has a bunch of stuff going on within himself and he's freaked out about telling you how he feels and all that kind of stuff, you holding on to that relationship isn't gonna make him feel more like he wants to do it. A lot of women kind of get that switched up in their mind. They're like, oh, I'm gonna be so great and he's gonna love me so much that he's going to change and heal and decide that he wants to say all these wonderful, lovey-dovey things. He's far more likely to do that if you pull your attention away from him than if you're giving him all your attention and he's getting his needs met and stuff like that and if you're like, hey, look, because how much time do you wanna waste with a guy who may or may not ever do that, right? And so you wanna be like, look, I really like you and I think you're really awesome and I'd love to be with you but it feels like you're kind of closed off in this way and it's a problem for me. Do you feel like you're going to get there at some point and if he's like, oh, and I'm not sure and all wishy-washy or whatever, you can just be like, no, that's cool. And if you do figure that out, let me know and come back to me and we can talk about it and if I'm still single then we can continue to date each other but I'm not gonna sit around waiting for you to get yourself together and start figuring out that you don't wanna be a wounded bird anymore because I want an amazing relationship and I want a man who wants an amazing relationship and I need a man who's strong enough in himself that he's willing to overcome whatever problems he has to get into that kind of a relationship with me and if you're not gonna be that man, that's fine but if you are gonna be that man, I would love to be in that relationship with you but I'm not gonna sit around hoping, wishing, waiting. We have women that have been in situations like that for years and the guy's never moving past that point of being a wounded bird and you don't wanna sit around and wait your whole life for this guy to do that, right? Like just create something, allow, if you're holding on to this guy it's like something better is not gonna be able to come in and so you wanna let go of what isn't working and isn't there and it doesn't want what you want as much as you possibly can so that the right guy and the right experiences and the right situation can come in. Okay, so Margaret says I was there just hoping to have his attention but was so wrong. So Shazadi says I'm watching you for the first time, awesome, well thank you, welcome, welcome here, thank you for being here, I appreciate you. Korkariani, Korkariani, Rihanna, Korkariana says he just needs to have a healing energy about him. Linda says thank you for the forever woman program has made a positive difference in my life. You are welcome and thank you for trusting me to be a part of our community and trusting me in this knowledge and using the stuff that has helped so many women out there get into relationships that are fulfilling and make them happy and are awesome so thank you for being here. Brazilian girl says so basically dating multiple people to avoid getting attached until he's ready. Well, maybe, right, that's definitely one thing that happens when you actually have abundance and when you're actually experiencing abundance is that you don't get attached. What might end up happening is that you end up finding a better guy who is ready and who does wanna take you off the market and what's gonna probably end up happening is you're not gonna have as much time for this other dude and he's gonna start going okay, I need to compete for her time and attention and she's starting to slip away from me and I don't wanna lose her and so to make sure that I don't lose her I'm going to get it together and start doing the things that she wants me to do so I can take her off the dating market and so some other guy doesn't end up taking her and that's the place that you really wanna be because that is a position of power when you're like, I can tell you're not doing it and you're not using my program, Brazilian girl, because of the way that you're talking. Women who use the Forever Woman program, you can tell the way that they talk changes because they go from, so you're saying that I should date other people until this one guy that I really want is ready and they start going, I'm having these guys who want to get into great relationships with me and I had this guy proposed to me a little while ago and these guys are like, which guys should I choose? I'm not sure which one of these guys I should choose from, right? And that's the difference in conversation that somebody has with me when they're using the Forever Woman program versus just not using it, which is fine, you can do whatever you want to and you don't have to do the abundance thing if you don't want to, but it's a really powerful way to get into the situation that you want and make sure that you're coming from a place where you're empowered and that you end up getting into the relationship that you want and you're not settling for some dude because he's your only option that you have. So Felicia says, I'm going through every red flag that could ever be in a relationship. I'm stuck because it takes money to leave. Well, I'm not sure what situation you're talking about that takes money to leave, but that sounds really bad. Irene says, Matthew, I didn't mean, I didn't mean blow him, I meant make him want me like he wanted me before our relationship is good, but not passionate, I want that back. Yeah, and if you should definitely go through the forever woman program because I give an outline for what you should be doing involving the scarcity principle and deep emotional connections and how to apply the abundance principle, not with, excuse me, dating multiple men but creating abundance of connection which is just as important. And so my suggestion is that you go to the foreverwomanformula.com and you go and pick up a free copy of that program and you go through it and you listen to it and you start implementing and applying those things because there's a whole bunch of things that you need to do if you're in a situation that we have a bunch of different resources on our website about how to do that. And there's a lot that could be going on there and the best thing that you can do is start creating scarcity, start building up your own belief in your value of yourself and creating abundance so that he feels, he looks over at you and he's like, man, this woman is amazing and there's all these things going on. And just to let you know the number one reason why things kind of fall apart and the passion kind of dies off in a relationship is because of the lack of polarity. So what ends up happening in a lot of relationships is that people come together and they hang out and everything's great for a while and then what ends up happening is they start becoming a lot like each other and then the polarity dies. And so they don't have that like, oh, you know, like rip your clothes off and make passionate love to you thing anymore because the polarity isn't there. And so the polarity principle is incredibly important. I'm actually gonna be creating a full program on the polarity principle here in a little bit but you know, figure out what kind of a man he is, right? Is he masculine at his core? And if you step into your femininity and you start doing the things that I talk about in the forever woman program, it's like women switch that stuff around really, really quickly a lot of times just by doing that kind of stuff because all of a sudden that polarity comes back and it's that polarity. It's that polarity of feminine to masculine and the polarity of light to dark that ends up making a man look at a woman and just go, oh man, there's just something about her. I don't know what it is but I don't know, I feel so attracted to it. I just wanna run over and just rip her clothes off and make love to her and just, oh, like, you know, that passionate, you know, just thing that's going on there. That's created through polarity. And the other stuff that's going on also makes you more valuable and looking at yourself as a valuable, amazing woman and actively pursuing the type, the experience of a relationship that you wanna have. Those are very, very important things. And so I suggest you go check out the forever woman program. So Joanna says, you're the best. You are the best, Joanna. You're the best. But thank you for saying I'm the best. I appreciate that. So Amy says, exactly. I am getting too old for the hookup culture. I want monogamous relationship. I'm only into him. He tells me he doesn't see or really talk to anyone else's, okay? Katie says, love these videos of yours. They do make a difference and they're much appreciated. Well, I much appreciate you saying that, Katie. So thank you very much, Lee. Joanna says, where can you direct us for healing work? So there's a lot of different places you can go get healing work done. There's like, I'm gonna be creating some programs here pretty soon. We have a guy in our community that you might wanna talk to if you're interested in coaching work and his name is Joe. And so he's kind of our coach that does healing work. So you might wanna talk to him. If you're interested in that, there's other programs out there like the landmark forum or PSI seminars or Tony Robbins or shadow work or any of that kind of stuff. I'm gonna be putting together some programs here in the future. I wanna shift our whole kind of business towards healing work in 2020 as well as doing some other kind of projects that are really valuable and important. But I wanna do a lot of healing work stuff because it's so valuable and so important. So many women want it and so many women need it. And so I'm gonna be doing that here pretty soon. BB BlastinTV says, loved me more than I've ever been loved. I kept messing it up because I was going through something. He gave me chances and has ghosted me now for four months but we had a strong connection. Do I hang on? No, I mean, if a guy's ghosted you for four months what you need to do is turn, look the other way, start moving towards creating an amazing awesome life filled with love and happiness and joy and all the things that you absolutely want. And if he ends up coming back, that's great. If he doesn't, that's fine too because you're gonna lead and have an amazing life without him. And that's what you really wanna be focusing on because I mean, he ghosted you four months ago. Like, come on, let's, you need to start moving on here and start creating other connections and start getting into other types of relationships that are actually fulfilling. And I don't know what kind of a situation you guys were in before. I mean, was it committed? Probably wasn't. Was it just a friend with benefits type of situation? That's a lot of what's going on in the hookup culture these days and you just have to realize that if you do get into one of those hookup casual relationship type things you can't have any expectations. Everybody's ghosting each other these days. Women do it a little bit more than men do it and you just have to realize that a lot of people just, that's what they do. Many don't even realize that it's a problem, right? And a lot of people don't realize how bad it hurts. And if you're getting into casual friend with benefits situations you just have to realize that you're asking yourself, you're setting yourself up for a heartbreak if you get emotionally attached at all. So my suggestion is that you stay out of casual relationships. Don't sleep around. Don't do any of those kinds of things because you have the most to lose in those situations. Women tend to get more attached than guys do from sleeping around and it's just not a good situation for you. So Vanessa says, I was seeing a guy since July. He disappeared for a month. It was saying, it was just saying funny videos. Sending funny videos, I think. I sent him a text that you recommended and it worked. He is back. We are seeing each other, but how can I? Well, your message got cut off there, Vanessa. So you say, oh, I found the rest of it. It says, how can I say that I want a serious relationship without scaring him away? We have a lot of connection. I need to, and I know he needed that time to work on himself. He actually told me that. Well, if you have a conversation with him about being in a relationship and that scares him away that's all the information that you need to know. And if being in a serious committed relationship is important to you, you need to have a guy who's interested in being in a serious committed relationship and you need to find out as soon as humanly possible whether this dude that you're currently seeing that you have such an amazing connection with is interested in a real relationship or not because if he's not interested in a real relationship then you need to get out of it as soon as humanly possible because you're not gonna, I mean it is possible that you could change his mind about that but you guys have been seeing each other for a long enough now that you've been seeing a guy since July, I mean you've been seeing each other long enough now that he already knows whether he wants something serious with you or not. And so you need to find that out immediately so you're not wasting any more time and you can either go out and start dating other people or he can step up and decide that he wants something real with you. That's important to do and that's important to do as soon as humanly possible for you. And you just need to have the conversation because if it's gonna scare him away, it's gonna scare him away no matter how you approach it. And if it's not gonna scare him away, then it's not gonna scare him away, well I mean it could scare him away if you start acting like crazy and desperate and needy but assuming that you don't do that and you just have a regular conversation with him and just ask him what it is that he's looking for and if he sees this going anywhere and just then letting him know what it is that you're looking for and then if what you guys are both looking for don't align that you decide that you are going to be strong and powerful and a woman who deserves the type of relationship that she absolutely wants to have and walk right out of the door on him and if he wants to come and get you, he can come and get you and if he doesn't then you aren't wasting years of your life in a situation that isn't going anywhere and if you wanted to set things up the right way you should have been doing it from the very beginning with this stuff. It's difficult because I understand that most women come to me not because they're like okay I'm single and I want to set things up the best way humanly possible so I'm gonna get Matt Kostoff, right? They come to me because they're like I'm in a situation, I'm scared to death of what might end up happening or this guy's pulled away or this guy's disappeared or this guy ghosted or we're in fights all the time or whatever the scenario is it's usually a scenario where there's a bunch of bad things going on that's when people come to me they come to me when there's something extreme going on and so like I understand that but at the same time you're in a situation already and all the precedents have already been set you've been together long enough that you already have a set way of how things are gonna be in the relationship and he's already got a clear idea of what he does or doesn't want with you and if he says anything else he's probably lying and so you need to find that out immediately if he's gonna get scared away by it let him get scared away by it and let him get scared away by it right now so you don't end up wasting years of your life in a situation ship that's not going anywhere and with a guy who doesn't plan on taking anything anywhere so that's what I recommend that you do. So M. Berrio says, hi Matt, saludos from Texas I've been learning a lot from your videos in the community thank you for giving us such valuable insight you are absolutely welcome thank you for being a part of our community thank you for being on this live stream and saying that I really appreciate that. So Kiki says where do you find all the good men? They're everywhere and it depends on what you think a good man is right? In my opinion the best people to be in a relationship with are people who are growth oriented those are by far the best people to be in a relationship with because they will continue to grow and they'll work on themselves and potentially they will work on the relationship that you have with them and so the best place to find men other than just everywhere which they are is to go to personal growth seminars and retreats and workshops and you can go to ones where they have thousands or tens of thousands of people that show up at these events and hang out and meet people and talk to guys and just make friends and build platonic relationships and with other people who will connect you with more guys and they'll be singles that'll end up finding each other and so that is my suggestion on what you do to find good men if you're growth oriented which hopefully you are and you wanna find a growth oriented guy which hopefully you do because those are the two best types of people to be together, go to growth oriented places like seminars and workshops and stuff like that and I've already mentioned a few of them that I recommend. Tony Robbins, Landmark Forum, size seminars and there's a whole bunch of other ones out there there's personal development communities I used to own and run a personal development community because I found it was so valuable to me in my life and I'll probably be doing that some more here in the future. I do kind of actually run a personal growth community but it's just for women at the moment it's this community that you're kind of talking into at the moment and I'm talking into at the moment and I'd like to have a bigger community where we just have personal growth oriented stuff as a part of it. So Vanessa says, how can I say that I want a serious and you already said that or I already said it or something. Amy says, he is in Ohio, I've been out there and we had that talk about me coming and out there and relocating. What does that mean? I haven't asked him yet but I don't want to make a possible move as friends and no commitment. Oh, so you guys aren't in a relationship yet. I mean, yeah, you need to have a conversation about that. You don't want to jump into a situation where you don't even know if you're getting into a romantic relationship with somebody or not. You need to talk to him about whether he's single, whether he's interested, he might be, because you might be reading things wrong and he might be like, yeah, of course I'm interested. Get out here and let's do this, right? Which I think it's kind of a difficult thing for you to go relocate somewhere for some guy that you've never even met in person or you haven't had a real relationship with in person. My suggestion is that you guys meet and hang out in a romantic sense before you go moving somewhere where you don't even know if you're in a relationship or not with somebody like this. That's something that you want to, you want to spend some time thinking about because you don't want to get stuck in the wrong situation there. So Gina Marie says these dating apps are a special kind of hell. Well, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of good things and a lot of bad things about it, you know? There's a lot of people, there's just tons and tons of people on dating apps. And so, I mean, I'm not a big fan of them. My suggestion is that you meet people in real life. That is the, in my opinion, the absolute best place to meet people is people in real life. And the absolute best place in real life is at personal growth seminars and workshops, best places to go. Specifically ones that work on all elements of life, but you also have to be the type of person who works on all elements of life. Like if you go to a personal growth seminar and you're, you know, you don't, like you don't actually like focus on growth. You're not, you know, working on making more money and having a better body and lifestyle. And you're not, you know, working on being a better person and growing and becoming your best self. Then you're gonna show up at a personal growth seminar and then, you know, guys are gonna be like, what are you even doing here, right? And so you gotta be the kind of person that's actually into growth if you wanna end up doing that. So Loretta says, you'd think parents could better prepare their daughters for finding love, but I guess so many didn't know what they were doing themselves. No, I mean, for sure, like nobody knows what they're doing out there. For the most part, most people don't have any idea what they're doing, you know, and, you know, there's a lot of people growing up without fathers nowadays. There's a lot of people, you know, there's some people growing up without mothers. There's some people, I mean, there's so many problems, you know, people, and even if they do grow up with mothers and fathers, they're, a lot of times, they're just shoved in front of a TV set and they aren't learning about how to live their lives in an effective way. And they're definitely not learning about love or relationships, you know, many times their parents are in bad relationships and so all they're learning about is how to live in more dysfunction, which is why it's so important for programs like this and personal growth stuff because if you wanna have something that's better, you're not gonna get it from the school system, you're not gonna get it from your parents for the most part unless you have really awesome parents which are rare to find these days. And so you need to find that stuff outside of that. Wagendorf says, I want a relationship where both show appreciation and gratitude for what each other provides to the other. There you go. See, that's what I'm talking about. See, that's a good place to start, right? Because that's an experience. You're like experience, appreciation and gratitude for each other. Like that's what I'm talking about, Wagendorf. That's what I'm talking about. Give me some hot fives over here. I love it, love it. Yes, yes. All right, where are we at right now? Okay, so yeah, you know, we live in this world of the hookup culture, right? And a lot of women out there are, they're kinda in this world where they're like, you know, it's difficult to, it's difficult to find a good guy. It's, you know, a lot of men are out there and they just want to hook up. They just want to do whatever. And so you wanna put yourself in the best situation that you possibly can. You ultimately, you know, if you're one of the women in our community, you probably what you want is you wanna find a man who loves you and sees you and cherishes you and you wanna get into a committed relationship where you're absolutely adored and loved by a great, awesome man who treats you really well. And, you know, we live, like I said, we live in the hookup culture. There's men pulling away left and right. You know, maybe you don't know what to do. Maybe you don't know what's going on. You know, this might make you feel confused. Maybe doubt about yourself and your own value and your own worth. You feel like maybe you wanna give up, you know, am I cut out for this? Am I good enough to have a great, awesome man in my life? Maybe, you know, like that woman said earlier, maybe I should just give up on love altogether, which a lot of women are. And the truth is that if you're having a hard time with men and dating, it's really not your fault. Look, we live in a culture that encourages superficial relationship and discourages anything meaningful. And I believe that there's a better way for men and women to get into and stay in committed relationships that last. That's why I put together a proven path that will help you get into the relationship that you want. And this path is called the forever woman program. And look, I understand what it's like to feel like keeping someone in my life is almost impossible. I came from a place where I was trying to prove myself worthy of love for most of my life. And a lot of the women in our community came from that place as well. And I turned that around for myself and a lot of the women in our community have turned it around for themselves through the work that we've done together through the work of the forever woman program. And I've helped thousands of women switch from feeling hopeless and stuck to attracting great men into committed relationships where they're absolutely loved and cherished. Many of them have ended up getting married or just getting in great relationships that make them feel proud and make them feel like they're wonderful, amazing women. And so there's really three parts to making yourself successful in this. Part one is believing in your own value. You have to believe that you are worthy of having a great relationship because if you don't, you will continue to end up getting into crappy relationships over and over and over again until you decide that either you're just gonna settle for something absolutely mediocre or that you're just gonna stay alone because it's not worth the pain and trouble anymore. Two, you have to position yourself in value so that you don't end up just clinging onto some dude and saying, oh, he's the only thing that I've got. And so you wanna come from a place of value and know your value and believe in your value and have a life of value. And three, you need to communicate your value because if you don't communicate your value, it's gonna be difficult for him to know that you're a woman that he should pay attention to and that he should value, right? And in order to do that, I put together the Forever Woman program. My suggestion, there's a link either above or below this video. If not, you can go to the foreverwomanformula.com. Go there, watch the video on that page, sign up for the free course, the Forever Woman program. And if you use it, if you get the program and you use it, you'll end up attracting a man who loves and cherishes you. He'll pursue you for a committed, lasting relationship. You'll do less work and feel more appreciated and valued by men. And if you don't, if you don't get it, you'll just continue to get the same thing that you're currently getting. And if that's okay with you, then just keep doing that. You'll stay stuck in your problems and challenges with men. You'll feel like you're doing everything in a relationship, only to be taken for granted, having guys pull away from you and eventually disappearing. You'll wonder if you're ever going to get into the relationship that you want. So my suggestion is that instead of doing that, get into a great relationship. Put yourself in a position of power. Put, you know, position yourself in value, believe in your value and communicate your value. I teach you all about how to do that in the Forever Woman program, theforeverwomanformula.com. Go check it out. Thank you so much for being a part of my, you know, allowing me to be a part of your journey. We have the best women in the world as a part of our community. So thank you so much for allowing me to be here and for you being here and, you know, interacting with us and being a part of these live streams. Thank you so much. You're awesome. I love you to death. You're, you're the, like I said, you're the best part of our community. And we have some of the most amazing women in the world here. So thank you so much. And that's it for the live stream. And I will speak with you again soon. Cheers.