 Thanks, Erica. I'm here at the pool. They're not on the chair, are you? They're on the floor. Well, there's no chair. Just like a wife. So, can you see that? I do. I'm here to see you. Can you see the floor? Here we go. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. Oh, my God. I think it's very, very nice. I want to show you how beautiful it is. Just wonderful, that you guys are so nice. They're like his feet trend. Good boy. But, super cool. So, kind of turned into friends sitting out at theบougel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, kindergarten fourth... seminal sixth year. A lot of schools around the country, like this year... first grade, then next year. would you join me for a moment of centering silence or in gathering him is number 1058. Good morning. Welcome to the first Unitarian Society of Madison. This is a community where curious seekers gather to explore spiritual, ethical, and social issues in an accepting and nurturing environment. Unitarian universalism supports the freedom of conscience of each individual as together we seek to be a force for good in the world. My name is Dorrit Bergen and on behalf of the congregation I would like to extend a special welcome to visitors. We are a welcoming congregation so whoever you are and wherever you are on your life's journey we celebrate your presence among us. Visitors are encouraged to stay for our fellowship hour after the service and look for people carrying teal stoneware mugs. These are FUS members knowledgeable about our programs and community life and they look forward to the chance to speak with you this morning. You can also stop by our information table outside of the library where you can find more information about our upcoming events and programs. In this lively acoustical environment it can become difficult for those in attendance to hear what is happening in our service so we remind you that our Child Haven and Commons area are excellent places to go when anyone needs to talk or move around. The service can still be seen and heard from those areas. We do have hearing assistance devices available please see one of our ushers if that would be helpful for you. This would be a good time to turn off all electronic devices that might disrupt the service. Experience guides are generally available to give a building tour after each service so if you would like to learn more about this sustainably designed addition or our national landmark meeting house please meet near the large glass window on the left side of the auditorium. I'd now like to acknowledge those individuals who help our services run smoothly. On sound this morning we have Pete Daly. Your greeter was Claire Box. Your ushers are Brian Chanis, Rick Henslin and Gail Henslin. Coffee is being made by Allison Mix and John Mix and the tour guide this morning is Pamela McMullen. Please note the announcements on the red floors insert in your order of service which describe upcoming events at the society and provide more information about today's activities. I have a couple of special announcements. Requesting Gaila assistance. We are planning a fun fold event the right the roof Gaila on October 13th and we need your help. We are looking for volunteers to help at the event. Contact Molly Kelly at Molly K at FUSMadison.org or stop by the table in the commons and talk with either Molly or Chip if you would like to support the Gaila as a volunteer. 2017 capital campaign kickoff is today. In honor of launching our 2017 capital campaign Building a Legacy we invite all of you to stay after the service for a brief presentation about what is in store for this campaign. You will hear about our progress to date, learn what projects we have planned and how you can be a part of it. Please join us for this kickoff. And finally would you please leave your hymnals on the chair for the 11 o'clock service. Welcome. We hope that today's service will stimulate your mind, touch your heart and stir your spirit. We gather this day companions on this grand experiment called life. Gather to hear and see each other into existence, into community, ready to practice a different way of being. Here we answer the call of love living into the promise of building the world we dream about. It is beautiful to dream to cast a vision to stretch our minds into the future and imagine what may be if we build a new way. Not someday but beginning again today, beginning again every day that we have breath, taking courage with these hands and hearts to make real the dream of a more equitable world. To journey together, seeking to be transformed even as we transform. Becoming explorers and learners in this world around us humbled by what we do not yet know. Fulfilling the promise of healing a fragmented world, laboring not just in hope but also in love. In this spirit we gather, in this spirit we pledge ourselves in love and justice, in this spirit we pray. And I invite you now to rise in body or spirit as we join together in the words of affirmation as we light our chalice. We light our chalice symbol of our faith for truth sought through a questioning heart and an attentive mind and for love pursued through obstacles inside and outside our own human heart and for forgiveness and all it entails the place where truth and love meet and merge. And before we join together in song if you would take a moment to greet those around you. And I invite anyone who'd like to come forward for our story today I need your help with it so come on up. Finn, Finn you were like sliding into home base there I was like you win. You like baseball? I do too. Do you like you guys like to go to the mallards? I know you two like the mallards. I know you've been to the mallards. I like the mallards. Okay where'd you all come from? Holy moly! Alright here if I move back you can scooch in. So how many of you like to do chores? You know make your bed, wash the dishes, mow the lawn. You do? Home with me. Wait what? You have a toy lawnmower? Does it blow bubbles? Tell me again put up your hands if you actually like doing housework. Alright. I'm doing something right. Something that I'm clearly not doing. Can I borrow you Finn and you could come home and do housework with me? Because neither one of mine like housework. Our story today is about a little old lady who really did not like housework. And so every day she had to make her bed, she had to do her dishes and she had to sweep the floor. Then she would sit down and work on her knitting. I'm good with that last part there. So one day when she was doing her dishes she began to grumble. Work work work. Can you do that? Be grumbly. Work work work. I can't stand it. That's right growl. And no sooner had the words left her mouth then she heard at the door and a voice called out your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in and you'll work no more. So the little old woman opened the door and in rushed a little fairy. She knocked the old woman or side. She ran over to the sink and she began to wash the dishes. Okay be the dishes. Clankety clankety clankety clankety. Good job. Well if she's gonna do the dishes then I'm gonna sweep the floor. So she picked up her broom and she started to sweep but soon she was saying it again. You ready to be grumbly? Work work work. I can't stand it. And right away what did she hear? Your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in and you'll work no more. So she opened the door and in came another little fairy who pushed the old woman aside, grabbed the broom and began to sweep the whole house. Okay then I guess I'll make the bed. So she began to shake out her bed covers and she began to fluff her pillows and then what did she start saying? Work work work work work. I can't stand it. And another fairy. Your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in. You'll work no more. Here comes the third fairy who pushed her aside, bustled over to the bed and began to shake the bed clothes. Flump flump flump flump. Well that's nice she said. I can sit down and knit. I gotta see where you get some of these fairies. But she hadn't been knitting long before she began to complain even about that. So what did she hear? Your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in and you'll work no more. Another little fairy rushed right in, grabbed up the knitting and began to knit. They must have been using metal needles. Can you make the noise? Clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety. Now the little old woman had nowhere to go. She sat at the kitchen table and the fairies all swarmed around her doing all the work. There wasn't a moment's peace in that house. And she sat there and she sat there and she was bored and then she was a little bit annoyed. So she said you know what I'll help with the dishes and that'll hurry them up and it'll get them out of there. But as soon as she reached for the plate, the four fairies jumped on her and pushed her back down in the chair. And you know what they said? Sit down sit down you'll work no more. So she sat there for a while and then she was very bored and very annoyed. So she said I'll just help with the sweeping. But when she reached for the broom the fairies jumped on her. Sit down sit down you'll work no more. And the old lady was increasingly annoyed and excessively bored. I'll help finish making that bed. Well what did the fairies say? Sit down sit down you'll work no more. Well at least I can do my own knitting. Sit down sit down you'll work no more. And they pushed her back into the chair. And then suddenly the house was quiet. The dishes were done. The floor was swept. The bed was made. The knitting was done and the old woman breathed a sigh of relief. They got to go now right? And then you know what happened? The fairies yelled change places change places. They clapped their hands they jumped up and they all changed places. The fairy who'd been knitting grabbed the broom and began to sweep the dust back all over the floor. The fairy who had been sweeping pulled out the plates dumped them in the sink and dirtied them all up. The fairy who'd been doing the dishes ran to the bed and began to throw off the covers. And the fairy who'd been making the bed now this one's not even funny she yanked out the needles and unraveled all the knitting. Some things we have to take seriously here. Now as soon as everything was completely undone they cried change places change places. And they all rushed back to where they were before to do the work all over again. So the old woman realized that these fairies were never going to leave. She was going to be surrounded by clicking clacking swishing and flumping the rest of her life. So she ran from the house down to the town and found the wise woman my house is overrun with fairies your house is overrun with fairies did you invite them in well yes you hadn't been complaining had you well sort of oh no they've come to you'll never be rid of them well here is what you must do stand outside your door and shout the hill is on fire the fairies will think that the fairy mound is burning they will rush home and as soon as they are gone you must go inside and bolt the door then do just as I tell you turn the broom upside down put the dishes back in the sink all upside down pull the bed covers all apart and tangle them up take out the needles and rip up the knitting and do it quickly for they'll be back in a flash so the little old woman did just as she was told she stood outside the door and she called the hill is on fire and the fairies rushed out to their mound the little old woman ran inside and bolted the door she turned the broom upside down she put the dishes in the sink upside down she tangled the bed covers and she ripped up the knitting and she had no sooner finished then your luck is back open the door let us in you'll work no more and the old woman sat so still old woman your luck is back open the door let us in and you'll work no more the old woman didn't open the door but the broom called back I'm upside down I cannot move dishes let us in we're upside down in the sink we cannot come bed covers get up and open this door we're all tangled up we can't move knitting get over here and open this door our needles are lost our stitches are ripped we can't go and the fairies began to grumble and growl well then your luck is gone we'll work no more and they stopped to wait in the fairy mound so the old woman got up washed the dishes swept the floor made her bed sat down to start her knitting all over again and at long last she could rock and she could knit but soon she began to mumble and grumble and she said work work work how I love it guys we're such great helpers thanks for coming up today we are going to rise and body your spirit and sing you out to your classes please be seated some thoughts from Jeffrey Lockwood a voice screeched gate assignments through a nerve jangling public address system even if the announcements had been in English I doubt that I would have been able to make sense of them anyway but whatever was being broadcast to the cavernous waiting area of the Moscow airport prompted mobs of people to head toward the buses that shuttled passengers to the planes I grew panicky as I realized that there was no chance of figuring out which announcement concerned my flight staring desperately at my boarding pass I realized that all I had to do was find someone with a matching flight number and follow them to my right was a morose old fellow whose pass was tucked into the pocket of his threadbare suit coat and to my left was salvation a pretty teenager had her boarding pass stuck in the book she was reading and the first two digits of the flight number were the same as mine when she turned to look at me I pointed hopefully at my boarding pass and then at hers to my relief she immediately understood but by then we had attracted the attention of her family when she explained my situation her mother smiled warmly and launched into what I took to be an offer of help I nodded correctly guessing that I had now been temporarily adopted when our flight was announced the mother leapt to her feet and grasped me by the elbow she ushered me toward the gate shouting directions to the others while they grabbed all of my luggage the mother pushed through the crowd dragging me along glaring at anyone who dared get in my way and walked with me till we boarded the bus once at the plane I thanked her profusely using one of the few Russian words I knew she seemed to thank me in return but why would she be grateful one of the great blessings of travel is to be put in a position of asking help from others to be genuinely needful of strangers our illusion of self-reliance evaporates as the unexpected and the unfamiliar merge into vulnerability we offer the gift of authentic need the opportunity for deep trust we express to another person the most humanizing cross-cultural phrase please help me many of the most meaningful times in my life have been when others have invited me into their lives allowing me to help in a culture that exalts autonomy asking for help may be one of the greatest gifts we can offer so much of life has become a calculation of costs and benefits to ask assistance is to create the opportunity for unconditional giving in raw spiritual defiance of economic rationality we become mutually indebted without expectation of repayment each person in the relationship becomes both a giver and a receiver each one becomes more human each one clearly has something to be thankful for the first time I ever heard that piece was as a choral anthem over in the landmark building when Eva Wright was filling in as our acting music director before Dan arrived and on that note speaking of Eva Wright today where are you guys hi there you are bob boozecky's 87th birthday is today heard they bob and tomorrow is there Eva thinks we're not quite sure on the math but 50 it's their 58th wedding anniversary tomorrow so congratulations you guys Silverstein wrote a delightful poem entitled helping get the fry she made a pie and Christopher John helped bake it Christopher John he mowed the lawn and egg at the fry helped break it now Zachary Zugg took out the rug and Jennifer Joy helped shake it then Jennifer Joy she made a toy and Zachary Zugg helped break it and some kind of help is the kind of help that helpings all about and some kind of help is the kind of help we all can do without when I met with Carolyn and Morris Waxler to discuss today's reflections Carolyn started our conversation with this poem and I loved it I think it spoke to me as it made to you because I have been on the receiving end of both the kind of help that was extremely helpful and the kind of help we can all do without why is it we discussed that for some altruism is in their bones their go-to way of being in the world those who say things like I could never not help that's just not me and for others it is to shy away from helping at all or to say no good deed goes unpunished and everyone must fend for themselves it's been fascinating for me to watch this developing in my own kids I've noticed that both of them seem to have a natural instinctual desire to help for both I watched as the transition to preschool each day happened best when the teacher was waiting with something that needed them whether it was I have to find the crackers for snack can you help me or we're going to paint watercolors today and I've been waiting for you to mix the paints on those blessed mornings drop off was a breeze no tears no fuss no arguing is it instinctual that we all want to help do some of us just need to be needed the psychologist Felix Warniker in a TED talk that was titled need help ask a two-year-old wondered how we develop this impulse to help to not just worry about ourselves but be motivated to act upon the needs of others his research suggests that the conventional wisdom that children are selfish only caring about their own needs that they need to be taught to become helpers is wrong and that really altruism appears naturally in children at very early ages he shared study after study and very adorable videos of toddlers in which children were found to help naturally were even able to tell when help was needed and when it was not he found that altruistic tendencies come quite naturally to us humans he then looked at helping from an evolutionary standpoint and worked with our closest cousins the chimpanzees he wanted to see what they would do in situations that require helping they not only helped human caregivers with whom they had a close bond they also helped complete strangers as well as other chimps and this was true whether or not they were rewarded or given any benefit for that helping researchers hypothesized that in humans and in car cousins altruism has deep roots and was present long before social norms and cultural training could have impacted how we developed apparently we come into this world equipped with the desire to help now my whole life i've heard that it's good to be helpful i've been told that it's good to lend a hand to help whenever you can the girl scout law told me to do my best to be friendly and helpful considerate and caring to help my loved ones friends and strangers as best i could but i wonder how much of this led to my career because isn't this work i do all about reaching out lending a hand to people as they face difficulties being a caring presence embody love and care yes and my seminary training also balanced out this desire to help with an acknowledgement of the times when you might need to let it go to let it be times when helping would do more harm than good helping others you see is tricky sometimes we are not helping at all in reality we're helping to make ourselves feel good perhaps even superior how do we know when to ask for help ourselves when to allow the roles to flip and be on the receiving end and when we do how does that feel if helping is naturally who we are how we are born into this world when in the world did it get so complicated part of it could be the messages we have received if i have to ask for help then you don't really care there must be something wrong with me if i need help with this if i help you i could get hurt i need to protect myself you need help again this has to stop i'm just keeping you dependent you need to learn how to help yourself for a change in that seminal work how can i help by rom dos and paul gorman gorman wrote at this point we are left asking ourselves what helping is or who helps or what helps and how much and when are you and when aren't you and the whole conversation can get a little dizzy what you're talking about is something you really understand instinctively but the words can start to have a life of their own not that it isn't a wonderful topic but there's always the potential for it turning into the tea party in alice in wonderland in an effort to keep us from the maddening dizzying world of alice in wonderland i want to offer this that we think about helping as a spiritual practice a spiritual practice in terms of something that confronts us in our depths not merely superficially a practice that brings us into connection into relationship into wholeness what would it look like if helping was a spiritual intentional practice so the first part would be really really hard so i'm going to warn you and that is to remove judgment the researcher and author brené brown shares this insight about helping when you cannot ask for help without self judgment you are never really offering help to anyone else without judgment now how many of you consider yourselves to be helpers how many of you really enjoy asking for help okay the saturday service had three one yeah yeah see so if we can't accept and ask for help without judging ourselves in that process then when we are offering help to anyone else it's always coming with judgment many of us get much of our worth out of helping others we see ourselves through this lens of helper yet we ourselves refrain from asking for help when we are in need then when we assist another we judge them as less than because they need assistance in some way that we don't the reframe here is i'm helping someone else because the day will come when i need help when we are able to say that to see helping in that light to feel that we find connection a recognition of our common humanity our common vulnerability our real and deep need for another before we can authentically help anyone else we need to be able to ask for help without attaching worth to recognize that being on the helping end and being on the receiving end can change at any moment that's humbling that's human that's healing we would also need to be able to let go of the outcome to help without any expectation can we listen to another without believing that we know how to fix them that we have all the answers and if they would only listen to us then all would be well might we realize that we don't have all the answers perhaps if we allow the space and the time needed for another to hear themselves they could figure it out on their own there's no guarantee that the one asking for your help will take it or that they will follow your advice being able to reach out and let go gives us the ability to keep our hearts supple and open curious and not convinced willing to try again and knowing when to let it be another practice would be the ability to be present in the face of suffering recognizing that maybe the only gift you can give in that moment is your presence the gift of not turning away in the face of fear or pain henry nowan in the road to daybreak wrote that when we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us we often find that it is those who instead of giving advice solutions or cures have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair who can stay with us in an hour of grief who can tolerate not knowing not curing not healing and face us with the reality of our powerlessness that is a friend who cares the difficult piece is recognizing that our helping may bring suffering to ourselves when we sit in the pain of another it is easy to want to turn away to not bear witness but as ramdas tells us each time we drop our masks and meet heart to heart reassuring one another simply by the quality of our presence we experience a profound bond in which we intuitively understand is nourishing everyone each time we quiet our mind our listening becomes sharp and clear deep and perceptive we can reach out and hear as if from the inside the heart of someone's pain each time we are able to remain open to suffering despite our fear and defensiveness we sense a love which becomes increasingly unconditional the last piece is the recognition that truly we are in this together that in giving to another we receive and in the receiving we give a gift to the one that we can help drop the belief in the autonomy of the individual the belief that we must stand alone on our own two feet and struggle in silence drop the myth of independence it needs to end and let it be replaced with the reality of interdependence one of my favorite stories is that about a monastery in the middle ages where monks would as a part of their work go on individual retreats the length of the retreat was up to each person and some of them were quite long now one day a monk went to the abbot and requested permission to go on his retreat the abbot agreed the monk went off and he arrived at the hermitage to find only a bible and he opened it and he read the first passage he saw the story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples the monk reflected on that story for two days and he abruptly got up and returned to the monastery now as was the custom the first thing he did was present himself to the abbot and the abbot said back so soon you have returned of course the monk replied whose feet would a hermit wash that is community creating ways to reach out to another to offer help to also know when to reach out and ask for help giving others the opportunity to love you into healing there is so much needed in our world today as we witness natural disasters people who've lost everything addicted loved ones near and far barely hanging on communities crying out for justice for life for the ability to be seen valued listen to respected there is so much pain and loss that maybe it is a little bit like the mad hatter's tea party for us to even be exploring why and how we help maybe the message is just get out there and help each other yet I do think in these times when need is seemingly everywhere when we are torn in where to look and how to keep looking and not turn away that grounding our altruism in our spirits removing judgment letting go of expectation being present in the face of pain and recognizing that truly we are in this together this is a way to both care for ourselves and one another in ways that can bring healing for both perhaps finally the last thought is that we can trust a little more both ourselves and the process we have much more to offer than we may realize all we have to do is ask how can I help with an open heart and then truly listen I'll leave you with this lighthearted story from Paul Gorman the other day I received a call from a woman doing a survey for the Gallup poll she's actually doing a poll on how much time people spend helping she's trying to explain the criteria and I finally start to crack up seeing the absurdity of it all how much time are people helping what kind of question is that she starts to laugh as well I know that's what I said too what can I tell you it's a job she was sort of whispering which made me laugh even more we got into this conspiratorial infectious laughter at the nuttiness of it all when we stopped laughing I asked so did that help she said I guess so why I said that's your job you tell me why and then I threw in we were trying to make the best of a nutty situation in fact that's what I'm trying to do all the time that's it I want you to put me down in the Gallup poll as someone who helps all the time more laughter she said we don't have a category for all the time but we do have one here that says all of the above perfect put me down under all of the above I am very much all of the above in fact you have to put everybody down under all of the above everybody's trying to make the best of a nutty situation Gallup can release a poll saying everybody in America is helping I wish I had the nerve she said maybe I'll do it with alternate answers one out of every two people in America is helping the other half is being helped by this point we were just in love with the idea of throwing the topic back into blessed confusion which is where it really is anyhow and finally we said goodbye months later there's a story in the newspaper Gallup poll reveals half of all Americans help right there in the paper she did it she pulled it off I rushed into the kitchen reading the headline to my wife that's me I exclaim which half she says all of the above I answer triumphantly wonderful she replies now wash the dishes and I now invite you into the giving and receiving of the morning's offering our outreach offering recipient is the playing field you can read more about their mission in your order of service and we thank you for your generosity the historic sites in macro preservation officer for the not everything is worth preserving there are however places that are seminal in our understanding he went on to say that those important historic sites give us a sense of place and belonging that tell important stories to help us connect to our past to our present and to our future our unitarian meeting house is such a seminal place and I want to share I mean smiley a member of the friends of the meeting house our historic preservation society here and I'm going to present to you some thoughts from Mark Schweitzer who wrote these remarks this morning about why this background is important to us you see the prow here it was intended to represent the prow of a prairie schooner skimming its way across the prairie but that's not why our prow is considered iconic before the meeting house was built church architecture consisted of rectangular boxes with steeples think of the New England meeting houses it was Frank Lloyd Wright's original idea to combine this auditorium and the steeple and parish hall into one coherent structure that innovativeness explains why the American Institute of Architects in 1960 just designated our building as one of the 17 right buildings to be retained as examples of his contribution to American culture now we are not considered in the same category as the likes of Fallingwater and the Guggenheim Museum other right structures you may be familiar with and that's why in 2004 our building was designated as a national historic landmark another of Wright's original ideas was the concept of unity now a unitarian who was a member of this church as were his parents Wright thought the root of the word unitarian was unity and he stated on many occasions that unitarians believe in the unity of all things these days this concept is captured in our seventh principle the respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are apart the unity idea was expressed in Wright's efforts to make the building in harmony with nature it was also expressed in the materials he used Wright limited his construction of materials to natural ones and to give the building an even greater sense of unity the same materials were used inside and out copper for the roof dolomite for the walls glass concrete and wood this is one reason the building feels so coherent and comfortable most of the time he also employed the concept of the unit system in our case that unit uh that Wright used were equilateral triangles and diamond shapes which is really just you know the two triangles back to back to find a to find a diamond why was this triangle used Wright felt that shapes have meaning and to him the triangle meant aspiration he felt the triangle was an analogy for what unitarian universalism is all about he repeated this shape and formed throughout the building in tables lecterns the shape and seating in the auditorium unity of all things now finally we know that this was one of Wright's favorite buildings how do we know that because it is one of about 50 red tiles uh you when you walk in the front of the building you see that little red triangle of enamel someone said the unitarian meeting house was a gift from frank Lloyd Wright to his religion Kenneth Patton the minister here when the building was designed said that it was perhaps the first architectural expression of our unitarian faith Carl Sandberg the great American historian and poet after visiting this building said that the church is a poem of a building our building is a nationally recognized work of art it is also our historical and spiritual center and because of this iconic structure an important moral responsibility I intend to support the capital campaign and Kelly we know what really helps and and we will finish with him 151 right before we do that I just want to give you a reminder I know that Dorot mentioned at the beginning that there's going to be a brief Matthew and I are going to do a brief presentation on the capital campaign right after the service so if you would just stay here and we'll do that quickly um and then there will be special refreshments and goodies out in the commons and yes it is time to rise in body or spirit for our closing hymn number 151