 The dark side of exposing a narcissist. The narcissist was subjected to certain treatment or information as a child. They saw too much. They knew too much. Maybe they saw their parents in danger or distress. They experienced traumatic events, things that were deeply damaging and disturbing or maybe things that were open to interpretation. But they were told that it was bad or they witnessed the reactions on other people's faces. They felt other people's fear and shame so they knew that something was wrong. And this is how it all began. It's what made them decide to create a false character to protect themselves because they believed the world was not a safe place. They believed they were at risk of danger or harm. And this is typically what happens when you do try to expose a narcissist. People will create false characters to defend themselves and they will typically turn against a real victim or it will amplify traits that they already had. Which can be very dangerous because exposure to unwelcome or unwanted things can cause serious damage. It can leave an impact on people's minds. To where they may never be the same or they won't even try to maintain an image of decency and respectability. Sometimes you better not knowing and it's better to prevent people from exposure. A good example of this is from what narcissists and victims of narcissistic abuse are likely to have experienced in childhood. They saw that their parents were angry or upset. They saw their parents fighting. They saw that they were always complaining and those of us who became empaths always had our parents leaning on us for emotional support. While narcissists were never trained to even feel that emotions so they became detached from themselves. They were taught that it's not about who you are or what you feel then it is what you do or what you achieve. And the image that you present to the world which traumatized them as a child because they were too young to understand. They couldn't fix or help their parents or they didn't step in because they were taught that it was unimportant. And as though that was not their role as though they didn't need to have empathy. So the narcissists felt hopeless and helpless. They felt incompetent and ineffective as though things are always outside of their control. As though they're unable to defend themselves or to act without help. They learned that there is no need for empathy. No need for compassion or understanding. They devoured fear and shame because they felt like nothing they did was good enough. So instead of focusing on other people and trying to help them they became more self-absorbed by focusing on what they could control and by trying to protect themselves emotionally because they felt like everyone was out to get them. These experiences opened their eyes. It caused them to become more aware but without a suitable solution. So they developed these unhealthy coping and defense mechanisms. They became paranoid and hyper-vigilant to where they were always on guard. They created a false character to protect themselves from the fear and shame. And because of this unnecessary exposure in their childhood now they cannot be real or authentic they've lost that part of themselves. While for us that part of us was nurtured and encouraged which is how we became empaths because our parents or caretakers were emotionally dependent on us. The way we felt like we had to step in and fix them. But narcissists were never appointed for this role. Instead they were taught that the world is dangerous. People are manipulative and deceptive and you always have to be two steps ahead of them to survive as though it's this doggy dog world. It's survival of the fittest. It's every man for himself which sets him up for a life of disconnection and detachment from themselves and everyone else to where they're only trying to gain an advantage. They're only seeking power and control rather than love, intimacy and connection because they were taught that people can't be trusted. That's what they learned from what they were exposed to in childhood. So they believe love is for fools. Love is a weakness. They create a false character to protect themselves so they never experience a genuine interaction. Everything is scripted and rehearsed. It's thought out beforehand and this character is usually based on what they've learned from their parents or caretakers or something they've seen in movies or from celebrities because they don't want to be taken for a fool. They don't want to be seen as stupid when that was probably the biggest mistake they made in their lives because now they will never get to experience true intimacy and connection. They will never get to experience love. They will never even get to have a real relationship with anyone. It will only be transactional rather than validational because they don't validate anyone. They can only manipulate people in order to get what they want which results in them ending up with other manipulative people, enablers and flying monkeys, people who support the illusion and they may get married and have children but deep down they know that these things never would have developed naturally. They know that they had to trick people rather than being real and authentic. So they feel like they never experience real love as though no one ever saw the real them or actually cared about them which is why they keep people at a distance because they're too afraid of being hurt yet they can see that people are able to receive their false self and accept that as something that is real which makes them to believe that maybe nothing is real maybe everyone is fake because if they were real how would they be able to trick them so they deal with people as needed for transactional purposes only but they may often disguise it as love because although they know they can't experience that they know it's what other people want but eventually they often end up isolating themselves and many of them die alone unless they have enablers and flying monkeys, people who support the false narrative, people who are just using them they never experience anything real because they were exposed to the wrong things in childhood so they ended up rejecting the real ones or the people who are real and healthy just don't want them because they desire something real and all the narcissist has in this fake world is their false character while any normal healthy person would be looking for something that self-sustaining rather than something more outwardly focused but narcissists get in by manipulating people by making you think you need something from them but healthy people feel complete on their own their only interest in people who complement what they've already established rather than people who are looking for vulnerabilities or weaknesses so narcissists typically end up with people who are similar to them people who are also very lonely needy and desperate people who are not complete by themselves people who lack a sense of self people who have no life of their own and no meaningful purpose and it's because they were exposed to the wrong things in childhood they were in a vulnerable position or situation they were unprotected because something bad or dishonest was made public so they felt this need to keep themselves safe from harm by developing this false character and this fake world to preserve what they believed was threatened against development because they believe that what they had was bad what they had was no good but it's all because of this belief that they were threatened that they were vulnerable or at risk that's what nurtured the disorder the chaos and dysfunction because they believe that people could not be trusted as though everyone was out to get them so they had to beat people to the punch they had to get them first and by doing that they were never in the moment they were constantly planning ahead so they could never be authentic they could only manipulate other people to get their needs met and it was all to protect themselves from further exposure when the reality is that this was the very thing that damaged them the most they were never the same after that because they were taught that it was bad it wasn't nurtured or encouraged so it prevented them from experiencing the very things they need which are true love and happiness when a traumatic event or incident occurs it should be recognized and it should be dealt with logically and professionally rather than emotionally or with intense feeling unless the victim is processing these emotions on the road or with a licensed professional in order to heal and then actions need to be taken to prevent this incident from happening again because when people are exposed to certain situations and they believe there is no resolve and it's just every man for himself they have no choice but to create a false character to protect themselves which is very damaging they feel this need to become all-knowing and all-seeing where they have to be two steps ahead of anyone who they deemed to be a threat which means that they're never in the moment they're not even living they're always outwardly focused because they're always waiting for the other shoe to drop so they have to get you first when people are exposed to situations without professionalism or resolve they will become the very thing that they despised the very thing that they were initially against they will become the predator they will create a false character which they will use to manipulate people and then as soon as you catch on to the game they will get mad they would deny it or they will deflect or blameshift and then they will love bomb you again if they think you are susceptible to it if that doesn't work they will just discard you and if they think that you're on to them and you're beginning to realize that everything they do is fake they will triangle it you they will try to make you think that they have something real with someone else but in reality it's no different to what they had with you because they never even tried to resolve things with you which means that it's still ongoing so they cannot begin something in a new situation until the previous one is resolved otherwise they're just bringing past shame and trauma into the new relationship which means that it's based on what they did to you so how could it be real if that energy is being carried forward into the next relationship if you still have this influence over them from things that they never resolved which is why they will dump their negative emotions on to you before they discard you because they think they're getting away but the shame continues to grow within them and it continues to dictate every action that they take it's also the reason why they will start to mere campaigns and enforce by monkeys to create this narrative this story of how you wronged them and how they had to get away but that does not prevent the truth from being real the truth will always prevail regardless of what they think in their minds or what they managed to get other people to believe which is why a lot of them always come back to the scene of the crime because they know that they haven't finished business they know that the situation was never resolved and it's playing on their minds it's preventing them from moving on so they will often come back if they didn't completely burn the bridge and they will try to rekindle things with you but even then all they're going to do is run you for the cycle again because that's all they can do but in many situations it will have gone too far so all they can do is sabotage your life and put out your light and prevent you from experiencing the one thing they can't because they see your life and energy as this irritant to their delusions when in actuality it really has nothing to do with you it's because of the shame that they feel resulting from the actions that they have committed and it's what causes them to keep coming after you to where they must start to make campaigns and try to damage other people's perceptions of you because they can't deal with the shame they're trying to move on but they can't as long as they think that you have these opposing ideas and views of them which results in them becoming very paranoid and hyper-vigilant to where they always out to get you in these situations you cannot be real with them you have to create a false character of your own you have to act friendly and agreeable even if that's not how you really feel because otherwise it's going to affect you what you resist persists but you should also avoid staying in these situations for long periods of time you need to create an illusion of your own and then leave at the earliest opportunity go in the opposite direction don't feed into it or it will affect you psychologically they will continue to do what they do whether it's with you or with someone else but you can heal your traumas by recognizing that you did the best that you could do you never intended to harm anyone so you can still nurture that side of you that side of you that is deserving of love and connection by recognizing that you didn't do anything wrong let go of any resistance or resentment practice acceptance forgive yourself let go of the need to take revenge by recognizing that they will get their karma if you try to harm them in return for what they did to you it will affect you more than it affects them it will eat away at you it will make you bitter and it will only bury your authentic self because how could you love yourself knowing that you have committed those acts narcissists know exactly what they're doing and they understand the effects that they're having on you so yes they are full of shame and it's something that unable to deal with because deep down they know that they are undeserving of love they know that it's too late for them after everything they've done to you so by default all you'll ever get from them is an illusion and a false character and that's what you should give to them because all they're ever going to do is try to damage you for that shame that they feel inside avoid participating in any networks or smear campaigns avoid adopting their groupthink mentality or their hive mind it will only prevent you from being your true authentic self it will brainwash and indoctrinate you by changing your beliefs about yourself and the people in the world around you it will make you more self-focused it will distort your perception of the world it will affect your relationships it will make you think everyone is the same as though everyone only cares about themselves as though everyone is narcissistic and needs supply it will prevent you from being able to build a relationship or connection with anyone which is why you must always discard them at the earliest opportunity don't try to find common ground don't follow them because it will only nurture these negative traits within yourself to where you may then decide to team up with someone against them you may become an enabler or a flying monkey yourself or you may do it just to keep the peace with the narcissist or to keep them off your back the longer you're around them the more they will indoctrinate you and in time you may feel that you're becoming more like them which is why you must leave take some time to yourself stay out of close relationships for at least one year get to know yourself get to know who you are identify what you stand for and what you're passionate about identify your values and beliefs find yourself again when you do this and you then reintegrate yourself back into society you will then wake up to the truth you will realize that most people in this world are not being themselves most people do not have the ability to connect to you or anyone else because they've been brainwashed by music television movies and social media from a very young age they don't even know who they are so how could they ever know you they are whoever they think people want them to be and you're nothing but a concoction of different things they've seen in the past because they don't know how to receive all they know is how to be subjected to something which is why you will find that most people in this world today actually have no identity of their own there was a time when if you went to different parts of the world you would have witnessed different traditions and cultures you would see different styles of clothing different types of food but now everything is the same people dress the same they do the same things they all go to bars and nightclubs they all drink alcohol and many of them do drugs you will notice that very few people are doing what you do very few people meditate or self reflect very few people heal childhood traumas or even have an awareness of what they've experienced in their lives very few people are even alive they're just an autopilot they're going through the motions they're just a shell of the person they used to be and once you've managed to heal your traumas you may feel very confident that you can fix them and bring out the better side of them but a lot of these people are already too far gone you can't fix them and by you even trying to do that it will just lead you into a lot of trouble you will only end up getting caught up in their problems so save yourself continue doing what you do focusing your passions and values on what matters to you and just observe the circus see it as something for your own amusement rather than something that should be treated with a serious purpose because it can appear convincing at times but that's all that's really designed to do it's just meant to get your attention and that's as far as it goes there is no deeper meaning to it there is no substance it's just a means to an end thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you could donate our paypal.me slash narcsurvivor you could book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narcsurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and 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