 Hello, everyone. Hello Happy Tuesday to you Let's see who is all here in the chat So it looks like we have Hmm Javier, welcome Javier. I hope you are still here Thanks for joining and then we also have a dwee. Good morning to you dwee. Hope you're having a great day Anna So was Javier the winner today of the Star Javier you get the star ding ding ding for being the first to arrive ready for the lesson So Alyssa, have you had any cheese today Alyssa? If so, what variety of cheese have you had? Let me think if I've had cheese today. I Have not eaten any cheese today. I have not Um Gertrude is welcome Hello Shaw English online. Hi there. Hello Layla Good to see you grace Good morning to you. I Am doing well today Layla. Thank you very much. I Am excited for this lesson this lesson is Something that I love Talking about I love teaching about I love social communication Because a lot of people struggle to communicate socially they may be able to use appropriate grammar and Have Wonderful thoughts that they're sharing excellent vocabulary, but they can't use those skills in social situations One of my jobs as a speech therapist is to help people who struggle with that So I'm excited to share some information with you. So everyone can hear me and see me Let me know if you guys can hear me and see me. Okay in the chat I'm thinking so because I haven't seen any responses yet. So let's go ahead and get started. It is 702 so I think we'll get started again today. We're going to talk about Pragmatics and conversation so a Good starting point would be to discuss What is pragmatics? Right? What is pragmatics? Let's take a look at the definition Now this is a bit long everyone so bear with me But the definition of pragmatics is it is a branch of linguistics That's concerned with how we use language in social situations or social contexts and also the ways that people produce so how we Speak and also how we understand these meanings through language So pragmatics has to do with how we use our communication skills socially our social communication So let's think about if we lived our lives without Pragmatics What would it look like? This is a little bit of what it would look like Okay, we have our girl says to the boy Can you pass the salt and the boy who doesn't have pragmatic skills? he just interprets this literally and thinks she means Can you physically pass the salt? So he's going to say Yeah, I I could but he's not going to pick up the salt and pass it Pragmatics is the ability to understand the social contexts that we use communication skills So grace yes what we are able to use in a practical manner to interact with others and To have our conversation be successful in sharing information so according to the American Speech and Hearing Association, which is the Organization and the United States that I am a Member of I had to take this really big test in Order to become a member. It's kind of like what doctors have to do when they certify with their boards I had to do the same thing and American Speech and Hearing Association talks about pragmatics as being more so how we take turns when we talk and Also, how we let others know the topic when you start talking and Also, it's about staying on topic. So for example Let's talk about a Husband and wife or a a couple and The wife comes home from work and says to the husband We need to talk Well, first of all the husband may say oh gosh, what's this about? But then the wife will say We need to talk about The kids Grades at school so that she is sharing. This is the topic that we need to discuss If she doesn't start the conversation by sharing a little something about the topic It could make the conversation difficult if she just says we need to talk and Then she says Johnny just isn't doing well in school She needs to give some information to her conversational partner what the conversation will be about and Also about staying on topic So I want you guys to respond in the comments. Okay, tell me Do you have a friend or a family member? That when you have a conversation with them All you can do is listen because they just talk constantly and they don't Stop talking To hear what you have to say Have you ever experienced that? I would love to know So Javier as you may not I'm not sure what you mean there But tell me in the comments. Do you have a friend or a family member? That you don't really like to talk to Because they don't let you answer. They don't let you participate in the conversation Let me know in the comments if you have experienced that Sagla come on that's not you You let me speak we take turns so When I am working with young children, I will use a ball. Okay, and We will actually practice this skill by rolling the ball back and forth and You can only speak when you have the ball so Layla says yes one of your family members and And Dica Yes, you have as well and Gertrude's you have a niece Mm-hmm. So Sometimes when this happens the person needs to Actually get some assistance in knowing that they have to stop talking in order to listen. I Understand Javier. That is fine But Layla, okay, so you don't need so you're not sure how to say in English to your family member Yes, well, there is a polite way to do it and maybe a not so polite way to do it But you could just if they don't let you speak you can say can I talk or You can say hmm. Hmm. Hmm. That would be a more polite way to kind of clear your throat or Move forward like like you're going to say something Those are cues you can use to tell your conversational partner you want to say something Sometimes I raise my hand I'll raise my hand as if I'm in school because that is a visual cue to tell your conversational partner Something's not working here So let's take a look at our next slide So like I mentioned when I work with young children on teaching them how to have a conversation I will play catch with a ball and Some therapists such as in the mental health field When they do therapy with couples and with families They they will use a talking stick and this is used more so To allow everyone to have their chance to speak Because some people tend to dominate a conversation so Taking turns in the conversation is Important also establish a clear topic So With your very close friends Let me know in the comments students. Do you have close friends? That you can jump from topic to topic to topic and Your friend is able to understand exactly what you're talking about Let me know in the comments So Leila sometimes you try to lift your hand, but your your family member does not pay attention Okay yes in that instance The weight of the conversation is more on your shoulders. What that means is you have to work Harder than the other person for the conversation to be successful So if you introduce your topic and then it's important to give the necessary background to your listener okay, so Let's take a look and see in the comments if you have a friend or if you have a partner a Boyfriend girlfriend husband or wife that you are able to Have a conversation and jump from topic to topic without telling your partner So Leila you can do that with one of your brothers excellent, I Have a few a few friends I can do that with but typically it's important to establish a clear topic so that everyone understands what They need to know Okay, so we're going to do an exercise right now. Here is our exercise You have a problem. Let me let me type this in the Comments here so you guys can see what the issue is so I'm going to add a slide and Here's the problem you have a Your internet's not working Okay, so your internet is not working you have to call your internet company on the phone and Request for a technician to come So What will that conversation look like they answer they say hello and You say let's just say Leila is calling You're going to tell right away. I need a Technician a technician is a person who comes to your home to fix something that is not working. I Need a technician And they say what is the problem? So you're going to need to give them the background Leila is then going to have to say My internet does not work and you might want to Give them a little bit of background my internet doesn't work So what should we say what's wrong with our internet? What could be wrong with our internet guys, what do you think? Let's see in the chat What could be wrong with the internet What are different things that you have problems with your internet at your house? Let's see. Ah grace says a weak signal Okay, a weak signal. I think that's great What's any anyone else have any other issues that you've encountered with your internet? that you could describe to the Person on the phone. Ah, I love that word gratuitous dodgy. That's great Okay, so Leila says I should say the internet is cut off or the signal is weak All great words. So weak signal. I I had this problem recently and I called and said I Get kicked off the internet Because every once in a while I would just get kicked off randomly Yes, sogla. I I had to buy a new router That's what I had to do. So let's say my internet doesn't work. You could say the signal seems weak and That way you're giving the right information and yes Leila when our internet isn't working it can be so frustrating and then sometimes it's really hard to get someone to come fix it Right. So then the person can say I will send someone out tomorrow to your house to fix it Okay All right, so let's continue and let's see what's next. So we have the rules for social communication so Sometimes we're going to have communication that does not work, right and When there is a breakdown in communication a breakdown Can mean your car breaks down it doesn't work but when we're talking about communication a breakdown in communication is when the two people communicating or Maybe there's a group of people They are not understanding what one another is saying When you are learning a new language Communication breakdowns occur often so When this happens we have to do what's called conversational repair We have to figure out a way to say Our message in a different way But the first thing is you have to see well, did they understand? What I said and you have to look at their face and their body language To see if they did understand or if they didn't So we need to engage in conversational repair so like I said this happens when you say something and The person you're communicating with didn't understand so then you have to change your message So that the person you're talking with or speaking to Understands so let's take a moment and let's type in the chat Share with us if you've encountered a breakdown in conversation That was embarrassing or difficult and How you handled it? I have a story that I'm going to share too But I would love to see what you've done when you have experienced a breakdown in communication What have you done? so let's take a look in the chat and See if anyone has some things to share when you have experienced a Conversation that has broken down where things are not understood between the two groups So let's take a look and see Well, I'm waiting for that. I can share with you Don't forget if you we have our subscribers here. We have Gertrude's and Layla, thank you so much for subscribing to the channel Um, we have Michelle, it's great to see you Michelle. Thanks for coming Of course Layla is here and Anna and I hope you're doing well and we Thank you so much for subscribing to learn English live When you subscribe to this channel, you are helping Robin be able to continue to provide Free live lessons here on YouTube So you buy him tea for me you buy me a soda But it helps us keep things going with the live lessons. So thank you very much for doing so So let's take a look if anyone Okay, so Grace said that she had a Conversational partner when she stayed in the USA You can join the channel membership if you would like those who have already become members. Thank you so much. I Think I said subscribers, but become channel members Let's see so Layla says Sometimes I try to move to another topic indirectly. Okay sometimes You just feel like I don't know how else to explain this So you move on to something else. That is something I commonly see If you can't tell someone with your words, you can also try to show them. That's when gestures can be very helpful so we had a problem when We were in Russia with my boys and They were they went to bed and we had only been together with them for Three or four days maybe a week at the most I laid them to bed Bedtime was always difficult because it was everything was new I Turned off the lights and I got maybe three or four steps away and They started screaming Screaming screaming screaming so I run in because I think somebody's hurt and they're screaming a Word that I didn't understand it was vulk vulk vulk, and I'm like what is a vulk I'd learned some Russian, but I didn't know what is vulk and So my younger son Talked and he kept saying vulk and they were scared. They were they were so scared and pointing to the window Vulk vulk. Well, we were Up like on the fifth floor in this building and all I could see was a tree So I thought is there a spider? So I was a spider and I'm gesturing So finally he did this and said oh Well, I realized he was talking about a wolf They thought they saw a wolf outside the window and They were scared so he repaired the conversation by gesturing and Using the sound that a wolf makes but yes oftentimes You just change the topic You can use body language use jokes to try and help the situation Yes, Grace. It was a wolf WOLF Marcos nice to see you So this is why it's helpful to speak with others either in person But during this time of the pandemic video chat is also helpful text messaging and phone calls Often Are not very helpful, right? It can be it can be very challenging at times to understand someone's Intention what they really mean through a text message and even a phone call when you're speaking in a language that is not your native language it Can be very challenging and sometimes even in your native language. You can get things confused When you speak over the phone, that's why it's always when people say this is a serious conversation I want to do this in person So we talked about gestures So my son who did the gestures to show me ears and then he made the sounds of the wolf We use our facial expressions so the thing with facial expressions is People will believe what they see on your face Before they will believe your words So Grace says when I travel I just point to the pictures on the menu Yes, that can be very helpful Although you may not always get exactly what you want But it can be helpful for sure So if I said I'm really happy No, I Feel really happy My face does not show that I'm feeling really happy. So our face needs to match what our Message is so people will believe what we're saying Hello, Grace. It's good to see you. Thank you also for being a channel member So Anna says yes, you're not alone when I did travel when we were in Russia. I also did the same thing I looked at pictures very That that was kind of my way to manage things So Julie better late than never. Yes Also, another thing is once you figure out something at a restaurant You can go back to that restaurant and you just order the same thing because you know what it's going to be, right? And Yes showing and some cultures do not show Emotions with your facial expressions, but it can be really helpful and then also reading nonverbal cues So if someone backs away from you that might be a really good sign that they are not comfortable With what you're talking about or they don't like how close you are getting to them So here are a few gestures that I found when I was doing some research That might be used in some countries But in other countries, they're considered offensive. So doing the thumbs up This is I actually do this a lot when I work with young students like good job So I know that in some countries It's such as Iran and Afghanistan and neighboring countries that this is like giving the middle finger Which we call flipping the bird which is One of the most offensive things you can say to someone, right? At least in the United States it is Also in the UK Using a peace sign with your palm facing you. So this is good. So this is you know peace but flipping it this is considered to be an insult and There's a history to that that has to do with I think World War two, but I'm not going to get into that pointing Here in the United States. We point a lot to show things. So if I were to You get a star But that might be okay, but pointing to people like pointing this way That is considered offensive and in Malaysia. They actually will use their thumb to point So be careful with pointing when I teach students in China. I will do this I'll like open my hand out like this But even this is in some countries This can be offensive or doing this because this is considered you do this to call an animal You don't do this to ask a person to come over The okay sign in Brazil and some Middle Eastern countries. It's also considered offensive And this was a new one for me students. I Did not know this so the hang loose or Rock on so this is hang loose, right? Or this this is the sign if you'd like to listen Jonathan's not here But if you like to listen to rock music, you'll be at a rock concert and people will be like, yeah You know rock on well, I Didn't know this but in Italy and Spain and some other Western European countries. This stands for the horns of a bull and It means that You're telling a man your wife is cheating on you and Everybody knows about it, but it literally means you are a castrated bull Your wife is cheating on you so Jonathan's here. Yes rock on so You just have to be careful with gestures When you are traveling so let's take a look in the chat Layla says it's rude for other people to point to them. Okay, and Natalie Natalie tell me about metal. I'm not sure what that means RS our RS. I'm not sure what that means Marcos. Can you tell me please? If you said HHH, I would know that that meant that you were laughing But I'm not sure what RSR means. Yes, so I love this sign I use this and I am like rocking out, right? But I did not know in some countries if you show that sign to a man Who was married to a woman? He may get really if an rock metal. Ah, yes. Yes rock metal for sure rock on So let's talk about proxemics, which the definition Proxemics means the rules in a culture for how close to stand to someone while talking This means how close are far away? So Russell and will you come here, please? I'm going to show you with my son Will you walk around here so you guys can see? Okay, will you get over here in the camera? Let's see if I'll back it up. Okay. You're good So Russell's gonna show you He's gonna get really close to me So this is how close we can you bend down so they can get in the camera. Yeah, so the camera's right here Okay, so this is how close People would talk in some countries, but here in the United States He's like right up here, right? This would make somebody feel uncomfortable unless you were a family member or a close friend Okay, so this if your friend came up to you and was talking to you like this, how would you feel? Weird weird he'd feel weird, but in some countries people talk this close To one another but in the United States we have big issues with our space So they're saying hello grace says you are really handsome say. Thank you grace. Thank you Well, I wish but I'm not yes. He's a handsome guy So now let's show them. Okay, so I'm gonna back up live right now. Yes. We're live right now. Oh hi So this is about how far away we would stand if we're talking to colleagues to someone that you work with Okay Now an arms length is how far you would stand from someone you don't know if you are in public You would stand an arms length away or now Six feet apart since we're in the pandemic. So there are differences in proxy mix. Thank you Yes, you can get something to eat he wants to eat all the time That's okay, so differences and proxy mix and different cultures so we have different layers we have Personal space this is your bubble in which you feel comfortable talking to others so Ruslan and I our family so we can get that close to one another and We both feel comfortable public space is When you are Farther apart, so that's the furthest out and that's the arms length out Impersonal interactions when you are in public with strangers and less familiar people so Social space is the space in between and that is what we use in our everyday interactions So when we're on the public transportation When we're at work, I was going to show you my bus, but I can't find my bus So public space. That's when we try to Have an arms length social space is when you have to be in smaller spaces with people like on the bus and in general the United States Canada and Some of the Nordic countries Yeah Yeah, I know isn't that funny around oh we're live right now. It's a good thing. He didn't say anything bad So do we She wants to know when someone says the effort doesn't mean it that it's something good or not Some people will say that when oh that's really good and then it can also be used in a negative way too Like f that that's bad, right? Or you can say yeah, that's really good I actually have something that I am creating for social media on the f word because I see a lot of it So let's see Michelle Yes, Michelle. I'm sorry. I didn't get to that. This is can kind of the sign for the devil to sign language Anna says keeping your distance to each other in your culture. So type to me guys. Let me know What It is like in your country. Tell us what country you're from and What the personal space? What is the bubble like? Do people get close to one another or further away? So let's see here Bubble private personal space. Yes, you're your personal bubble Think about a bubble that surrounds you Grace said she worked in a donut shop and middle-aged Spanish women would come to the shop every day and You became close with them and she would kiss you on the cheek and hug and it was also just weird. Yes So I was I've been speaking with some of my friends from South America and My Spanish teacher tells me oh, yes People kiss each other on the cheek all the time when you are meeting them for the first time and that seems very unusual to me But that is just a cultural difference It would be considered sexual harassment if a man is too close to a girl or woman Anna, do you have separate cars for public transportation? So if there's a train or do you have special areas on a bus where the women? sit because I know in some Cities that does happen We talk close to each other and you hug no problem. Yes in Brazil Brazilians are a very hands-on culture where I you know get really close and enjoy that closeness and do we Always smiling and some cultures very rarely will smile, but they're they're very happy It doesn't mean they're an unhappy or unfriendly people. It's just that is the manner that They hold on their face Okay, so Anna says you only get close if your family relatives or BFF so best friends forever I contact so guys type in the chat What how does your culture view? I contact is Is it's something where you are expected to look at one another in the eye or Is it considered in polite or inappropriate? To Look at one another in the eye Let's look and see because in the United States if a person avoids eye contact That means you don't look at one another Often the person will be considered Untrustworthy that means that they are not telling the truth. They are lying or they are doing something They should not be doing So Marcos Marcos, yes eye contact is important Let's see what others say. Let me know How is eye contact viewed in your culture or in your country? I need to turn off my Notifications so I don't get interrupted in our lesson again We don't want that to happen we'll see who Else is Commenting so Leila says that if we don't know each other that much We don't look at each other directly. Okay, so you will look towards someone But you won't look at the ground. You just won't make that direct eye contact Normal in the Dominican Republic. Okay Grace, thank you so much for your contribution. That's so kind of you So in the United States in general, it's considered respectful to make eye contact To show someone you are paying attention to them And that you're interested in what they have to say I'm gonna stop for a moment and see if anyone else wants to share on eye contact. I need to get a drink My son is cooking his dinner in the microwave and it's making me wonder what I'm going to eat tonight So Dewey says we don't show eye contact. Okay, so let's change that. We don't show we don't need the word to We don't show eye contact When we talk with someone who is my elder or someone who is older than me And that's a form of respect So you hold your head down. Yes. So in many cultures, it's inappropriate for children To make eye contact with adults. That's considered disrespectful but in The schools in the United States if a child does not make eye contact the teacher will often Get frustrated with them. Okay, Marcos. Thank you so much for clarifying that. So in Brazil, it's very important Grace says it depends on the situation. Sometimes it's really good showing eye contact But sometimes it is not and that's why eye contact can be really difficult The new grace says it's normal to have eye contact. Also, there are many people all over the world that Have difficulty making eye contact because it makes them uncomfortable Gratuitous we haven't had a train go by yet, but I bet we will before the night's out So I have students who have conditions such as autism And other types of learning difficulties. There are also people who have social anxieties or Phobias or anxiety that causes them to feel physically Uncomfortable like it almost hurts them to make eye contact with others So for that reason We need to just be aware of that as well So we made it through the entire set of this lesson We didn't have as many Exercises in this but I wanted to hear more about your culture So I would like to know do you have any questions about how culture can impact communication Involving someone from the United States since that is obviously where I live so I can give you some information We had someone ask about using the f-word so On a lot of social media It's explained, you know different ways to use and when I say this it's f-u-c-k And in some situations in the United States it's considered very appropriate to use that word in fields like athletics and In the music industry they use that word all the time In different regions of the country it's okay, so in bigger cities you're gonna hear people you'll hear you'll hear that word on the street often in The smaller communities and the farming communities where I live you will not hear that word in public And if you do people turn and look So that is my response on that I Feel to say if any man looks okay, so you feel uncomfortable Layla if any man looks you directly in the eye It makes you feel uncomfortable. I I Understand that so it's very common practice in My town if you are walking down the street and someone is walking towards you You make eye contact and you say hello That is a very appropriate Social communication But I know in many bigger cities in the United States you would not necessarily do that and In some in some cities if you looked at someone in the eye and said hello the person would say What are you looking at? so it is Very dependent upon where you are and so it's important to look Around you to see how everyone else is using their social communication skills So you can adjust to what is happening in your surroundings So thank you so much guys for coming to this lesson I hope you found some information to be interesting that you can use when you are working on communicating both in your native language and in English So let's take a look and see if we have any other questions before we wrap it up While we're doing that. I'll share with you. Don't forget. You can follow me on YouTube Instagram and tiktok and I'm actually I just started a Facebook page too, so Kind of crazy and Facebook. I just added that Yesterday, so I am learn English with Sherry on Facebook tiktok Instagram and of course YouTube as well so subscribe to My YouTube channel if you haven't already done so and Let's see what we have here. Thanks Leila Yes, I sure hope you remember them as well. Gertrude said it was interesting. You're welcome Jonathan Jonathan I didn't hear from you. What is something that you would like to contribute from your culture? it What is it like for eye contact? What is it like for personal space? I'd love to hear from you Jonathan You're welcome Anna Thank you for your little emoji and if Robin is here. I'd love to hear what it's like in Korea. I Know he's kind of quietly But if you're here Robin still I would love to hear what how is eye contact viewed or grace if you're here Let us know Social distancing do people get close to one another when they are speaking if you are Colleagues if you're coworkers, I would love to know that It's really interesting Okay, guys, we're gonna wrap it up. So thanks so much for joining remember you can become a channel member To help us continue in this process of providing you with these live lessons as well as videotaped lessons Become a channel member and it will allow us to continue to do that. Ah, okay. Thank you Jonathan Perfect, I appreciate that Thanks so much everyone be safe be kind to one another and remember if You're in the United States in Canada In the UK your facial expression should match what you're saying to help you be a more effective communicator Grace good point Koreans tend to get a little too close Okay, so like I said Canadians and North Americans we tend to You know, you know people from the United States, Canada or North Americans. We tend to have our personal space, right? Grace always I love it Ah Yes, Marcos. Thank you so much for your donation and I agree Sometimes in order to know if someone's telling the truth you can look them in the eye And that will tell you if people if their eyes divert to the left That is one of the clues that supposedly means that they're telling that I'm not telling the truth Okay, guys. Have a great one. Thanks, Michelle Be safe everyone. Goodbye You