 So it's rare I do a topic centered around sex specifically and when we think of the bedroom I think we think of sex. I think the reason why I chose to do this topic today is because given that the number one cause for divorce centers around sex and intimacy So let's think about that for a moment. If that's the number one cause and number two happens to relate to money Wouldn't it make sense to have deeper conversations about what people expect? Let me rewind the word expect Desire when it comes to physical intimacy as well as emotional intimacy Because the reality is is intimacy is one of the significant reasons why Relationships don't work out and when you actually think about it now, you know given how much infidelity Happens in relationship. I think it's important to have these conversations sooner rather than later And so today's topic is the weird things men like in the bedroom and you know, I'm I'll be candid with you This is a topic where I actually googled the content I mean, I know I have my own preferences in the bedroom and each man is rather different But at the same time I thought wouldn't it be fun to have this conversation to talk about physical intimacy? Both in a humorous way being these weird things people like and more importantly in a serious conversation because physical intimacy It within romantic relationships tend to be one of the reasons why we choose romantic relationships Now it's a little bit difficult for those in midlife because you know when you're in your 20s and 30s You're kind of especially men, you know, we're driven by testosterone. We're driven by our desire to spread our seed And at the same time as we age there could be some real challenges with this especially Sadly when you get over 50 well some cases over 40 you might need some assistance Getting the equipment up so to speak. Okay, and certainly women have their own challenges when it comes to Physical intimacy when it comes to intercourse So the reality is and I'm talking about from a medical perspective both men and women as they age This becomes a challenge which invites the importance to have serious conversations about Health related issues related in the bedroom as well And I don't you know so anyway Today I want to have some fun. I want to share some things like I Read on the internet, so I take no credit for the content here today per se And what I mean to say is I just assessed what I read. I'm not endorsing any of these things. I'm not saying this is accurate I'm just sharing with you what I read and and again Let's have a little bit of fun and at the same time when we do q&a Let's have a real conversation about physical intimacy in relationship Okay, with that said Let me put on my trusty glasses now It's funny because one of the first comments that came in around this topic weird things men like in the bedroom Candice wrote I really hope it's sleeping And I just thought that was absolutely funny to actually bring up the topic of maybe that's a weird thing men want in the bedroom and and and at the same time As we age Physical intimacy becomes more challenging and for some men it might almost be non-existent So for them the bedroom might simply be a place to sleep and that's a reality Certainly, it's it's rare in those men that are in their 20s and 30s or even 40s and 50s But by the time a man hits 60 70 or 80 You may not have the capacity to actually lean in physically and yet And I'm in that category of over 50. I will tell you this is a challenge for me It's something that my partner and I and there's a picture of my sweetheart Marie and I We talked about very early on around our health issues Related to our capacity to be physically intimate and so coming back to Candice's comment. I hope it's not sleeping. Also. I noticed there's another comment from Melanie that says I'm thankful no man has ever thought of trying a Dutch oven a Dutch oven And if if I understand what a Dutch oven is correctly, this is where One or both people's head is under the covers and one person or maybe both people actually Let out some gas and that's what's known as a Dutch oven Now what I found on the internet a couple things that I thought was interesting weird things men like in the bedroom and One thing I thought was kind of fascinating is the smell of pumpkin pie smell of pumpkin pie I think now I don't know if that's actually baking a pumpkin pie And at the same time, I'm sure there are candle scents out there that replicate pumpkin I know I'm a big fan of Tuberose the flower. I'm also a fan of lavender. I'm also a fan I know a lot of perfumes. There's a friend of mine Has a perfume her it's brand called manhandler and I believe it's vanilla So scents actually can entice our desires in the bedroom and each person has their own But I thought it was fascinating that pumpkin pie was on the top of the list So hey go bake a pie and then jump into the bedroom might be something you might want to do All right number two that was listed was danger Dangerous things risky things to do in the bedroom now. I can only imagine what somehow some people view danger I know some people might be thinking might think that having Intimacy on an airplane might be dangerous. Maybe in an elevator might be dangerous certainly danger couldn't Include a number of different things it could but the idea that I believe that was being presented is risky behavior Now I'm not a fan of riskings one's life and what I mean to say from an STD Perspective, I don't think that is but for some people that might be the way they approach it This is why if you're in the early states of dating, I think it's it's rather important that Couples have real dialogue around their not their medical conditions with respects to the actual physical Intimacy, but are they carrying any type of disease and now some people lie some people? Enjoy risky behavior. I'm not a big fan of that. I'm I have afraid of cooties. So Whether it's investing in an STD test. I highly recommend Having a dialogue having a conversation before you're intimate for the first time with your partner. Okay number three Was what was listed was the color of red the color of red Now as a matter of fact Marie's wearing red right there, okay? And actually on our second date She was wearing a beautiful red dress whether it's red lingerie red clothing There's something about the color red that excites me Now what was interesting and what I'm about to share is going to be a bit Crask and to be a bit disgusting, but some men speaking of the color red Actually prefer having sex with women while they're on their period again. This isn't my content I'm just sharing what I've read but that's an actual turn on for some men And again this topic is weird things men do in the bedroom So that's something to take note of although most women that I coach their mid-life or in that menopausal place So how about just some red lingerie might be something good Now what's also interesting was listed was the following long shapely arms full hips and thighs and what I believe is being addressed here is that The human body is actually a beautiful thing and if you think of you know, I mean Marie and I were watching a Netflix documentary around Pamela Anderson and she was a playboy bunny Playmate and you know, it's interesting as all the different poses she had and I just think there's something Sexy about a woman that actually is just lying on the bed naked Maybe a little bit of a pose. There's just something about the body that I I believe most men. I'm not saying all men No matter where you're at in your body type actually appreciate that Length of in the bedroom and just laying on a bed in a sexy manner Just like those playboy bunnies would when they're taking photographs And I certainly encourage that when you're in the bedroom and whether you think that's weird or not That's just something that was listed here Now the next thing I'm about to share might be gross to many of you again. This isn't Mike I'm not endorsing this. I'm just reading what I've read but this was called ATDs which stands for anal tongue darts anal tongue darts And this is where men actually appreciate a woman and women can appreciate this as well possibly where there's actually Tongue in the anus, okay For some people that might be weird for some people that might be a normal Tuesday night for them, but that's certainly having our genitals and certainly other regions being Appreciated is a turn on for some men as well as some women Okay, number three now this one kind of blew me away, but matching lingerie matching lingerie now I don't know if a man is wearing the same lingerie as woman But I believe what they're really talking about if a man is wearing a certain type of box or underwear a woman is wearing something that Matches whether it's the color or not that that's supposed to be something rather enticing for men and maybe for women as well I know the Sherry just wrote gross and I'm assuming she was talking about the previous comment I made again. I'm not here saying that this is my content I'm just sharing what I was reading out on the internet because I thought today we'd have a little fun Conversation Okay Here's something from the movie nine and a half weeks if anyone remembers the movie nine and a half weeks with With Kim basing her and Mickey Rourke. There's a scene where they're eating food by the refrigerator and What was the song? It feels like bread and butter feels like toast and jam But the scene from nine and a half weeks is a very sexy scene with their sitting in the kitchen Grabbing things from the refrigerator eating one enough you share, you know feeding one another But more importantly putting the food on their bodies and actually Enjoying it from their physical bodies. I've watched I remember there was a show called nip tuck Where there was a scene something similar to that certainly in other movies. I've seen something similar to that But certainly eating while you're in that intimate eating off of one another eating with one another Can be a very erotic arousing thing and certainly some people might think that's a weird thing to do in the bedroom Now this one I thought was really interesting But men are attracted to their female look alike That's now I you know, it's interesting because I Would never want to date a woman who looks like me and yet I've heard many of time that some of you believe that we look very similar to one another now I believe what's really being described here is when you're with Someone who complements you on a physical level that we might actually be attracted to a person at that level And I really truly to believe that to be a case some people Are attracted to each other blonde haired many women are sometimes attracted to each other because there's a similarity and there's a sense of Familiarity when someone is kind of your look alike and again I do not believe Marie looks anything like me Although I posted pictures and many of you have said we look like brother and sister. So maybe on some subconscious level We are attracted to our Similar Features and and coloring and that sort of thing. Maybe this goes back to caveman days to some degree I don't really know the psychology behind that or the behavioral aspects of that But I thought that was an interesting thing that I read when I was preparing for this video Now again, some of you might be criticizing the content here But I'm just gonna share with you another one was odd Masturbating experiences. No, I don't know what that actually looks like only to say that I certainly have my own Preferences when it comes to being with my partner in that capacity and out of respect for her I don't want to get into some particulars But some people find that that to be very arousing when you have some odd Mutual masturbating techniques or individual masturbating techniques and how that might arouse your partner When you're in the bedroom, you know, it occurs to me that to some degree Puritans believe in a very missionary style type of sexual experience. It's very rote. It's very It's rather get the job over with kind of feeling for some I'm here to promote I'm here to suggest that again if the bedroom if our physical and emotional Intimacy ends up being the primary reason why so many couples get divorced Then wouldn't it make sense to make this the most exciting part of your relationship? I Have gone to multiple Tantric workshops and let me be clear about Tantra. It is not about being with a group of people and having an orgy It's it's about really learning breathwork techniques learning how to connect with your partner in a way that feels Very kind I said connected but connected and intimate with your partner really being on the same page with one another And I certainly if you haven't ever experienced Tantra. I highly recommend googling it T. A. N. A T. A. N. T. R. A. Tantra. Yeah T. A. N. T. R. A. Tantra Google it right now And maybe there's a workshop in your area that you may want to look into And certainly this is a great thing to do with the couple I've suggested that a certain Marie and I have actually watched and again, there's Tantric music on YouTube and there's certainly a lot of different videos out there You may want to do that with your partner because when you in heighten it when you Enhance the relationship in the bedroom It gives us a reason to come back for more I mean, I know that sounds rather obvious, but that's my invitation for you and last but not least And again, this wasn't mine. I'm just sharing what I read is women who squirt And I believe the there's a term Amarita I don't know if I'm pronouncing it properly, but those are women who secrete Sailing when they actually prior to an orgasm or during the experience. I'm not an expert at this again You may want to look into this But certainly that's something that can be a turn on for a lot of men now some women just happen at the rather Significantly wet you might want to use a towel if this happens certainly some women as I shared before Are rather experienced at that that's not my air of expertise folks So again, I'm just touching upon what I've read want to share this with all get your perspective on some of these things I know Melanie here says I do want to get into Tantric sex. Thanks for the idea Linda mentioned sense and pheromones. I mentioned that in the beginning When I mentioned the smell of pumpkin pie I'll be candid with you. I am Affected by perfume. It actually turns me off When I shared that with Marie She was a little saddened by that because a lot of women appreciate perfume and we've it actually can For some men, I know like myself that I have kind of a I'm highly sensitive in that area I Prefer that it be very light for some women. They put it on heavily I highly recommend when it comes to that having conversations because maybe I'm a little bit a caveman in this way I like the raw pheromones Coming out and I believe that perfume actually mass that so Have a conversation with your partner or person that you're being intimate with because this could affect your love making although again I mentioned candles before Which I believe is a little bit different than actual the the Pungentness or that what's the word I'm looking for the strength of perfume can be somewhat overwhelming for some men All right, we just covered a lot of weird things. I hope you found value in this conversation Those who know my format I believe this is a great time to take questions So if you have a question of me write the word question in the chat box below Or you can purchase a super sticker super chat all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship Fun in the name of my son Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there He's my son who passed away coming up on almost five years ago Hard to believe and his honor I started a scholarship fund So the monies that come from the super sticker super chat gets donated to causes like the Hoffman process and Insight Institute That's in the chat bar and if you're listening to the audio portion of this There's a super. Thanks button as well and you can also join my membership on YouTube as well by hitting the join button All right, let's jump into questions again if you have a question write the word question and post the question there after Sherry L Why and says sex X class tonight hello? Yeah, I'm going off my usual beaten path today So I hope there was value today and what I'm shared with you all yeah, we can talk about any subject We can talk about sex we can talk about Any of the the the subjects I discussed today or you can ask me anything if you have a personal question of me a lot of you Appreciate the videos I share with with Marie and I and if you have some Questions of her and I feel free to post that as well Melanie says I prefer Oil over alcohol in perfume. I you know, I probably am feeling the same way. I do like essential oils I believe that they are less Toxic to my o-factory system, but then again, that's just I'm not really aware of that from a physical Medical perspective. Okay cat arena rights question Do you think that passion chemistry tends to fade away with time between two people? You think passion and chemistry tends to fight fade away So, you know, there is the term the honeymoon phase and it and there's also the term the seven year itch You know while I'm coming up on almost a year in relationship with Marie I can't believe it's it's almost coming up on that. I can sell still say I feel physically the same way I did from the first time we met so I Feel the same passion. I feel the same connection. In fact, I believe because we practice conscious coupling I believe it continues to grow You know, what's fascinating is Folks, you know, I'm a dating a relationship coach if you follow my channel You know My job is to help you get clarity on who you are and what you want help you attract the man who's really Ready for the relationship you'd like and by the way, if you'd like some support on that check out the link Below to a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you Well, I'm sharing this with you is a Lineman with a partner and I'm going to get to passion and chemistry in a moment when you have Alignment with the partner you share the same values your lifestyles are blendable and more importantly They are emotionally mature enough to be in relationship What happens is at least from my perspective is that the chemistry and passion is heightened because it's not The see a lot of relationship It's the chemistry and the passion that it's like like I've got a table right now. It's got four legs It's like the leg of chemistry and passion is holding up the entire leg of the The table because they the there's either maybe a lack in values Maybe the lifestyles aren't when the bull or they're not emotionally mature But when you've got the three other legs secure the passion and chemistry, you know Is is is really a significant part of the relationship? And I believe it only helps grow the relationship when you have all the other facets Lay down in other words the legs to the table lay down. So does it let listen, I Haven't been it. I have not had a relationship exceed 15 years And I can tell you I got married and we lost that chemistry very early on I had another significant relationship for six years and while there was chemistry there for You know for me it was there the entire time There were other issues missing which made it difficult again the chemistry alone couldn't carry the relationship We'll see about this one again. We are if you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg I'm just going to point this out really quickly You can see above the lot of water line is attraction It says chemistry but below the water line is shared values blend of a lifestyle and emotional maturity Again when you have all four legs of the table securely Built and you continually grow upon that that has the greatest chance for relationship success in my opinion Okay, so great question there. Thank you so much for that one. Ah God arena says amazing. Thank you so much Deborah says I would like a free discovery call again Just click the link in the description below to schedule one of those Men love imagination keep it new interest in exciting. Yes men and women both like Imagination so I think it's true for both. Okay, Hillary writes hold on a second Hillary Question for Marie. How did she deal with you when you blew her? When you blew her let's twice did she consider walking away? Did she keep dating others was she confused by your actions? Okay? Folks, let me just backtrack to give everyone some of the backstory on this so So when Marie and I met online It was a long-distance dynamic So we weren't actively pursuing a relationship with each other And yet we kept in touch for approximately a year from the moment we met online Till we now when I say we kept in touch. We didn't talk to each other every day We didn't talk to each other every week. We didn't even talk to each other a month every month We probably over the course of a year maybe had Half a dozen to maybe ten conversations over the phone. We had some interactions on social media So we're talking out of 365 days. I'm gonna guess less than 12 interactions during that time Okay, that's number one number two She came to Los Angeles to visit a friend And she told me ahead of time Would you be free to get together and I said God it's gonna be tough. I mean I had a full schedule now Now what happened was she actually told now let me backtrack. She told me like three three days But no she told me when she got here She was on Los Angeles and would you like to meet and this happened in November of 2021 and again in December of 2021 In both cases I was I had clients. I had appointments I you know, I and she was about an hour drive away, you know, so it wasn't convenient So I didn't blow her off You know, I mean we jokingly say I blew her off, but I didn't blow her off It was just a logistics mess for me and actually I just come off An uncomfortable situation with another woman and I just my headspace wasn't really ready to meet her at that time Look at we now recognize that timing is everything folks timing plays a big part In the success of a relationship in our particular case the timing wasn't right So how'd she handle it? She wasn't attached to an outcome She was like if I meet you great if I don't meet you fine, too That's the way you have to approach my invitation for y'all is to approach it that way with a sense of like non attachment to the outcome That's what she did and I think that's why we're together right now. So thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it Uh Twinkle star says friendship is the foundation for a good relationship. Amen. I totally agree with that All right. Are there any questions if you have a question for me or Marie Just give me a shout out right write the word question post the question there after or purchase a super stick or super chat Make it easier for me to find All right. Hey Pamela is in the house. I agree vanilla sense. Thank you so much All right, let's see if we've got any questions coming in folks. It's going to be a rather short video if you don't post questions Um Hillary says yes, I was joking too with the quotes. Okay Folks Gotta post a question if you want me to keep this conversation going or I'm going to start rambling and we want something more than that Okay, Monica says sure Jonathan um You know Beyond the physical aspect of our relationship what I appreciate most about our partnership Is that we both seem like we're really on the same page One of the things I see deficient in most dating dynamics today Is there's a real lack of serious conversation about what does commitment look like for you? And what what does commitment mean to you and more importantly? What does it look like for you in my case with marie and I we had a three day lay our cards on the table When she came to visit me to have that conversation Without those serious conversations by the way folks, you know my rhetoric before the penis goes inside the vagina Read the book eight dates by doctors john and julie gotman. Hold on. Here's a copy of it I'm a walking copy of this book. So I didn't need to do that Because I know all the content in there. It's because I wrote my book Folks if you're not familiar with my book what the heck a self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work Links below get a copy of my book. Why I'm sharing this with you without being on the same page It's difficult to build the foundation of a relationship. You know, it could be dysfunctional or it could be solid My invitation for you is to have radical honesty questions For one another so you can be on the same page and that's what she and I did All right, Pam writes question I'm a widow five years did the work and surface from grief I have joy Of my of life again. I like this guy, but I'm afraid he might take me back to sadness your thoughts Well, what would what would cause you to take a shift in backwards? It's if you give your power away to a man That would cause you to go towards sadness Folks no man has the power over you. No man has the power To make you sad and what I mean to say is if you give your power away to someone you can become sad Sadly here in the united states We are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself instead of I love myself. I feel good about myself and no matter your actions I'm still going to be okay and I will still thrive if you've gone through five years Of grief and sorrow. No man should ever have that ability to take that from you again I mean look it when we lose somebody and folks, you know, I lost a child and There is no greater pain than loss At the same time when dating No, you know, I haven't lost anything if you haven't built anything with someone Anyway, I think you know where I'm going and I'm a little bit emotional So I want to back I want to pull back a little bit on that because I'm feeling into Connor right now So thank you so much for that question. Pam. I appreciate it Sherry writes Jonathan should women ask men out on dates or should we wait for them to ask us out? folks look it If you ask a guy out and he says no Then you have your answer about that guy that you might like If you asked a guy out and he's intimidated about that Let's think about that His penis shrank so much. He was so intimidated because you asked him out Would you really want to be with that guy? Listen, who cares who does the asking out? What matters most is what you do when you're on the date with one another I know but men are I'm just supposed to lean back in my feminine energy and let the man claim me folks We're dealing with a rather dysfunctional Population of midlife folks what matters most is connecting with one another and believe me These days it is much harder connect folks. Marie wrote me first She wrote the email to me first. She was doing a search in Los Angeles. I didn't meet her. She met me So to some degree she dropped the hanky. Who gives a crap who makes the first move? What matters most is what you do with that move? Anyways, that's my rant and I'm sticking to it. Thank you so much for that post. I really appreciate it all right Hillary asks question How long do you give to determine compatibility and connection before you determine not a fit? I don't want to waste time anymore. Well, some days it can be one telephone call Not one telephone call. I can tell you by the way John Gottman at the Gottman Institute can interview a couple and with 90 92 accuracy He can determine the success of their relationship talking to the couple in 15 minutes 15 to 20 minute conversation He could determine their relationship success with a 92 accuracy rate Or something close to that. I don't remember the exact specifics Hey with that said How much time look at I'm the believer like do what mary and I did we jumped into the we jumped in the frying pan And we're like either we're gonna cook this cook this relationship or it's we're gonna let it burn Okay, I'm a bigger proponent of that these days in other words, you know, here's the thing It's difficult when sex is involved. I get it And certainly thankfully in both mary and I's case We don't get attached to someone On the first time having physical intimacy or even the fifth time having physical intimacy for some women They get rather attached some men as well. And so it's difficult But with that said what's most important is vetting the person Using my technique in my coaching program called radical honesty Prequalifying your prospect. You can learn a lot about a person in a very short period of time. However, I will say this I was listening to jay shetty and it the other day and he seems to mirror what I've been saying for years It takes about a hundred hours of face to face time to build the first layer of trust It takes about 40 hours just to get the base understanding of a person face to face and it takes 200 hours To really develop a solid friendship with someone. So let that be your guide 240 hours to get a base understanding of a person face to face a hundred hours to build the first layer of trust And 200 hours to actually start becoming what feels like friends with another person provided You're doing what I talk about social activities hobbies mutual interests spending time with family and friends and traveling together Okay, thank you so much for that question. Hillary. I really appreciate it Linda says let's talk Let's talk age and the addition of meds often the latter is found black hole. Where did the passion go? Hey, I'm not really sure where you're going, but let's face. I know I'm on at least three or four different meds And yes, I use the blue pill And it's like, hey, that's just a fact of life. I wish I didn't have to but and Then Marie takes some medications for believe women take testosterone as well as men taking testosterone So I believe that I don't know for exact medical regimen. So anyways Uh Ken arena says how do you know when you are healed enough to dive into the dating process When you when you when your happiness is not dependent upon another person Or your livelihood is not dependent upon another person if you reach that stage you probably have healed Great question. Katarina. Thank you Uh, oh someone mentions the smell of cinnamon great one. I like the smell of cinnamon. Not everybody does but I know I I know I do Uh If you find someone better than you wait pray pray says if you find someone better than them you will get healed I don't know what that is. Okay Uh margaret says good points, jonathan. Thank you so much Uh margaret also gave a seven dollar 99 cents super thickers. Thank you so much for the conor asley's um Scholarship fund monica says jonathan is cooties a medical term Does anyone remember the term cooties? I remembered listening to it growing up Uh, but that's uh, I it's like germs and stuff like that, but I I relate it to std's to me. Those are cooties So yes, it's a medical term by my medical Um manual. I'm just kidding. Thank you margaret or monica. I really appreciate that Margaret says it's amazing what the gothman's can do. Isn't it? Yeah You know, it's interesting folks as a dating relationship coach I actually am now beginning to do some couples work. I've actually had a conversation with one of my client's boyfriends And I I told them right up front. Look at I have a bias. I'm not I have a bias towards my client I am operating as her big brother in this conversation And we had a one hour chat Um, she thanked me the next day just to have that chat two weeks later. She she messaged me Thank you jonathan. He's a changed man and they just had valentine's day together and she said, oh my god Whatever you did is just it's a whole new man. I had a very blunt serious conversation with him Um Folks, it's time to get radically honest. It's time when I say time It's in your benefit to get radically honest with men Because you don't have time to waste. We don't have fucking time to screw around here So my invitation for you is not to go impassively sit back in your feminine energy and let the man lead That's a passive way of approaching it What I mean is set your standards Know your standards and then set your boundaries based on your standards, but jonathan. What's a standard? Look at my rhetoric has always been the same my standard was A relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests spending time With family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in our personal and our professional life intimacy both physical and emotional Intimacy that leads either moving in together getting married. That's my standard The boundaries was how I maintain that standard But jonathan i'm in a long distance relationship when we've been talking for six months The text messaging and we've never met and we've never talked on the phone How am I going to get to that? Folks, what is it about so many of you that have a belief that you're in a relationship with somebody? That all it is over text messaging It's not real until you're face to face and again as I said earlier It takes about 40 hours just to get to know someone on a base level It takes a hundred hours of face to face time again face to face time to build the first layer of trust And it takes 200 hours of real face to face time to actually develop some level of real friendship with a person Doing it over the telephone doing it being a text messaging doing it over these devices doing it through bumble and tinder ain't gonna happen Okay, that was my rant Monica says as I get older I get the more The more self I don't know what you mean by more self Okay Let's see Let's see what else is here. Oh, okay question from sierra Do men like it when you offer to split the bill on a date? You know Here's an interesting thought Roughly 80 here in the united states roughly 80 percent of the population lives paycheck to paycheck Significant percentage of men who are divorced have alimony and child support to contend with So I think what men appreciate most is not whether not whether you split the check But where you make the overture can I contribute? Okay, so it might be can I contribute my share? You don't have to say let's split the check. Can I contribute my share? Might be one way to operate Most men look at I like what matthew hussey says if most men are raised right They'll pay the first date and if most women were raised right they'd offer the pay now and a great gesture I mean I always tell the story about a date. I had We're on our first date. We were at a dive bar. I bought the first round of drinks And I forgot to give the bartender my credit card. I think I just gave him a $20 bill So the second round I was about to hand him my credit card and the girl the woman I was with said I've got it and I said no no I've got it and she goes no I've got it And I go no no I've got it and she goes I've got it Now a lot of you feminine energy coaches will say she was in her masculine energy. That's so intimidating the man uh You know what she said She put her hand on my arm She looked me in the eye Said jonathan. I really appreciated that you treated the first round of drinks Will you allow me to show my appreciation and treat you on this round? I want you to know you're worth it Think about what and then that moment I thought this woman could be a partner in my life She said I want to show you my appreciation Treating on a date shouldn't be an expectation just because a man of a human being has a penis Treating should come from a place of generosity and both people both human beings should want to be equally generous Doesn't mean you have to act on it, but certainly making the overture Would you like Would it be okay if I contribute my part and then see how he responds If a man takes the money and doesn't splits the bill I would never see him again folks. It's stupid rhetoric like that that a lot of women are single And a lot of men are jackasses too. So I got it. They make you split the bill But nonetheless, that's my thought on that. Thank you so much By the way, does anyone agree with me on that? Please let me know Um, Margaret says thank you for being so honest. You're very welcome Armor says should you be experimental too to save the marriage if we're talking about yes sex? Why not be experimental? Okay, if you have a question write the word question and post the question thereafter. It makes it easier for me to find Um Lynn says hi, johnathan. I noticed that you tend to hold back more with your passionate commentary I miss it. Are you mean meat fucking throwing f-bomb after f-bomb after fucking f-bomb? I'm just not in a rant mood today Catarina just gave a $10 super sticker. Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it for the Conor Asley fund Mary Ann writes question I tuned in late and love all your advice in your videos after 52 your marriage ended five years ago due to his cheating Which I discovered three years ago. How does one trust again? Great question My ex-girlfriend wrote a book Called chatting or cheating by dr. Sherry Myers how to detect infidelity Uh rebuild love in a fair proof your relationship. That's a picture of dr. Sherry there. Uh, she was endorsed by, um By judith orloff and daniel amen and barba de angeles just to name a few what I love about this book It's all about building trust. I highly recommend checking out the book at the link below in the I have jonathan recommends links below to all the books I recommend highly recommend reading this book as a pathway to rebuild trust for yourself Definitely recommend this book. Mary Ann. I hope that helps. It's called chatting or cheating by Dr. Sherry Myers Hey, I want to give props to janet for the ten dollar super sticker. Thank you so much genetic. Excuse me All right, uh Pam writes question Add question add on info from prior question the guy i'm chatting with is a widower only one year and he's still grieving And afraid he could take me back to sadness You know someone is still grieving and it's only been a year It may not he may not be ready for a relationship. So I can understand that that might take you back to sadness That's very understandable. Um a lot of people at that stage in their life. They don't know that they're healed Have they done grief counseling? How what was the relationship prior to the the end? Uh before she passed away I'm not an expert on that But i'm expert at vetting people so I suggest scheduling a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you Pam, thank you so much Uh sherry n l y n says jonathan gives fabulous advice. Ah, thank you so much Pumpkin zero granite panties jackie no go This relates to the pumpkin pie Uh Margaret says generosity on both sides is important. This relates to paying for dates. I totally agree but jonathan All the feminine energy coach is saying men should be just paying for everything all the time because that's what a penis is supposed to do folks Money is the second most Is the cause of most divorces Isn't it sad that the expectation based on gender it's kind of like men expecting to have sex on a first date You think that's fair So why is the x why is there a double standard there? Double standards for both men and women alike. I'm here to say be generous Come from a generous place now without crossing your boundaries and without being a doormat Be generous because generous. I'm gonna say marie is probably the one of most generous people I've ever been but she's not rich by any stretch of the means but she's incredibly generous Um, and it's not monetary. It's just the way Human beings operate. Anyway, certainly human beings. Anyway, that's my two cents on that Uh, can you repeat the five wild things? Uh Wanda you're gonna have to go back to the beginning because it wasn't five wild things. It was a bunch of things Um, so I can't repeat them and take too long to explain them Catherine says I totally agree Oh, diana says I read your book very informative and helpful. I'm so glad. Thank you. What the heck is self love anyway All right, let's see debbie writes question What do you think most men are looking for on websites porn? I don't know Um, how to fix things probably men go to websites probably How to fix things that's probably the what most men are looking for now if you're asking what most men are Looking for on dating websites. Well, that's a different type of question folks So Listen somebody they're attracted to Somebody that complements their life Somebody who will accept them for who they are Someone that will appreciate them and lastly since the topic is the bedroom Someone who will fuck them on a regular basis. That's what men are most men are looking for on dating websites debbie. Thank you so much Priya says I used to split the bill in my past dates recently after watching all feminine content. I am confused. Yes Men appreciate women who make effort. Just know that Watch the matthew hussey video about who should pay for a date. That's a great matthew hussey Somebody write down matthew hussey in the in the chat box. He has a video about who should pay for dates By the way, I have one on it as well. So you can scroll through my content as well I think this will be our last question for the evening. Unless you have a question personally for me Questions, should I be experimental? Although I could my husband Cheat I could I'm assuming caught my husband cheating to save the marriage. I could You know, I have a conversation with your partner Because if somebody is cheating there's usually a lack of intimacy in the relationship and intimacy isn't just physical It's an emotional come back to the book. Read the book eight dates by doctors or by sherry mires I highly recommend that to prepare you by the way link below to all the good the books. I recommend But have a conversation with your partner All right Claire says jonathan, why did you not tell us that women over 50 are the horniest sex is like a marathon? I'm not complaining, but did you And listen, I'm I'm over 50 and I'm a horny son of a bitch So if I'm representative of a lot of men then I think men still have a capacity of the rather horny Whether in our 20s or in our 50s 60s or even 70s. I know a lot of men are so yes I am telling you now men can be horny over 50 Uh Oh, let's see Oh sierra says I bought the book you recommend the untethered soul. It's really eye opening. Thank you so much Oh my god, folks. This is my bible if you will the untethered soul by michael singer highly recommend this book now Here's the secret to this book only read one chapter at any sitting and no more than two chapters in the day It's 15 minutes to read a chapter you probably can't even get through the first two pages without going. Oh my god This is dense Links below to all the books. I recommend this book along with what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development Self-op and spiritual work highly recommend these books And so what that could self-love is my book Margaret wrote down who should pay for dates matthew hussey exactly the sandra says Can some men be friends with women? Absolutely, they can you can be good friends with women My my beloved is still friends with somebody. Uh, she's known a male that she's known for 43 years now Since they were in grade school Or whatever age, um, and then i've been good friends with my ex the one who wrote the book There's a picture of her. We're still good friends. We've actually socialized together Sherry and i uh sherry and her partner david marie and i together. So yes, that can happen Provided that there are boundaries and provided that it's a very clean break between the two of you All right, this will be the last question the evening personal question What is something that you really enjoyed during your trip with your beloved? What did I really enjoy during our trip through the panamoc canal? you know We have a we have a ritual that we do almost every morning where we have coffee together somewhere around 6 a.m I usually get my date workday started at 7 a.m. And when we're on this cruise we had this cute little balcony Um, it was because we had a forward-facing uh cabin or Sweet the way the balcony was was a little bit different than some of the other balconies and we each morning We had our coffee there by watch and watching the water, you know as the boat was traveling um that Was one of the the things I most appreciate but the thing I think really struck out for me Stuck out for me was the opportunity to visit her home country the country. She was born in columbia And her home city cardigena where she was born And I got to meet some of her family and I got to go to some of the places But what I most appreciated Was her sense of pride over her country and just little sharing little nuggets a little Landmarks and I could just see her light up and I think the thing I most appreciate She's look at there's a picture of her to me. She sparkles And while she was sharing her experience from where she grew up And how that transitioned how that really affected her from you know to where who she is today I can't begin to tell you how much I Really appreciate that so that was one of the chance that we got to visit her home country Really made a difference plus traveling through the Panama Canal. That was so effing cool That was so fucking cool. I was so excited about that All right, I think this will be a great place to wrap up this video today We talked about weird things men like in the bedroom. I told you up front. This is not my content I'm just sharing with you what I read. I hope it provided some value But more importantly, I've got a conversation going talking about The importance of a real rich sex life with your partner Because if if Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy is the number one reason for Divorces then it's better to have these conversations sooner rather than later And that's my invitation for you all Thank you so much for allowing me to enter your life today I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off give myself a big gigantic Jotland Barrett of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow. There's a teddy bear. Here's my mask from guatemala Give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And let's face it we could all use more love in our lives I want to thank hillary and catherine and deborah and faas and sofia and person And moon and pam and margaret and j.s Sierra linda armor claire joist sherry Let's see debbie already said that priya everyone think oh and diana. Thank you so much wishing you a fab evening Take care. Bye now