 The narcissist pulls out all the stops when they leave you. While you were with the narcissist, they may have been very lazy and unmotivated. They didn't put much effort into the relationship. They didn't have much enthusiasm. They showed a lack of effort and activity. They showed a lack of care. They had no interest in what you were doing. Unless it had something to do with them. You had to take on most of the responsibility. You had to put in all the effort. And it was almost like you were dealing with someone who was either incapable of working with you or they just couldn't be bothered. They expected you to carry the load. They expected you to take responsibility for something difficult or unpleasant. They wanted you to carry the burden. They wanted you to carry the duty and misfortune that caused you worry, hardship and distress. You were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You had many troubles and responsibilities. While they got to live carefree without anxiety. They got to live unworried and untroubled. While they watched you having to deal with it all. But in the end, it's like the straw that broke the camel's back. It only takes a minor routine action to cause an unpredictably large and sudden reaction out of you because of the cumulative effects of small actions. It is the last in a series of bad things that have happened to make you very angry and upset where you just don't want to deal with them anymore. It is the last straw that further difficulty or annoyance that could be minor in itself but it comes on top of a series of difficulties that then makes the situation unbearable. Because there is only so much you can take until you then react, until you then decide to take action. Until you realise that you need to save yourself from the sinking ship because no one is coming to save you and the narcissist either doesn't notice your pain or they just don't care. As long as you just keep quiet and keep doing what they want they're not really bothered about how their behaviour is affecting you. It's only when you take a stand and stop living your life for them that it then becomes a problem. They want to keep you under their influence and authority. They want to keep you under their control. They do not want you questioning or confronted them. They do not want you engaging in free thinking where you have your own opinions and ideas because that is a serious threat to their control. They need you to think the way they think. They need you to do what they want when they want it to be done rather than you just thinking for yourself and doing your own thing. They see it as though every second you spend doing something for yourself is time that you could have spent doing something for them which is why any time that you invest in yourself is a serious threat to them. They need you to be constantly focused on them. They need you to constantly cater to their feelings and needs because that's the only reason why they're even around you. It's not because they care about you. It's not to share anything with you. They need service. They need convenience. And if you're not willing to provide that to them it will cause a serious problem. They will get very upset. Even if you just mention your own feelings or needs they do not like it. They hate it when you talk about what you don't like. They hate it when you get sick or tired because they need you to be a machine that works overtime. They need you to keep the wheels turning. Regardless of the effects that this may be having on you the moment you step away or try to take a break it will cause a narcissistic injury and they will forget about everything you did up until that point. In their minds it will be like you did nothing for them because they cannot appreciate anything you've done for them. They have a strong sense of entitlement so they're very ungrateful. They think that you exist to serve them. You're either a convenience or a problem to the narcissist. You're either doing what they want you to do or you're being selfish. There's no in between but they will just sit back and watch you going through it. They're not going to intervene because all they care about is your productivity all they care about is what you're tuning out for them. Regardless of how it is affecting you when you get sick and tired of the narcissist and you stop performing at the level that they demand and expect from you you might just decide to leave or they will discard you because if you're not doing what they want there's just no reason for them to be around you. They're only there so that you can serve them. If they're not getting anything out of it there's no reason for them to stay but that does not mean that they're just going to move on and forget about you when the narcissist leaves you that is when they will pull out all the stops while they were with you they may have seemed lazy and unmotivated it may have seemed as though they lacked enthusiasm but when they leave you that is when you will see their relentless determination to gain an advantage over you they will work overtime to sabotage and destroy you when if they had put that kind of effort in while you were still together you could have had a pretty amazing relationship but of course narcissists are self-absorbed and they lack empathy they expect you to carry the load they expect you to carry the duty and misfortune and they really don't care about how it affects you the only thing they care about is when they're not getting what they want if no one is around to do the work for them that is when they will pull out all the stops that is when they will make a very great effort to achieve something you will see a side of them that you've never seen before they will put the pedal to the metal they will go all out they will put all of their energy and enthusiasm into it and it will just make you wonder where was this person when you were trying to build a relationship with them but the reality is that all their efforts are self-motivated they will only be motivated to do something because of their own interests not because they are interested in fulfilling your desires or needs they're not going to put any effort into anything with you because they expect you to serve them and they really don't care about how it affects you sometimes they don't even see it because they're too preoccupied with their own interests and needs when they leave you they will go all out they will pull out all the stops to defeat you because all they care about is themselves there's a reason why so many successful people are narcissists rather than empaths and it's because they're motivated by their own self-interest rather than the needs of other people which means that they will step on you to get ahead but whatever happens a relationship with a narcissist is predestined to fail they're either going to sit back and watch you run yourself into the ground and your efforts to please them or they're going to do it for you thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you please like, comment, share and subscribe if you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coaching.narcsefiver.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon