 Okay, I think they're recording right now. So, okay, so Psalm 138 was eight. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me. So why don't we pray, right? Let's look to the Lord. Father, we thank you, Lord, for your word. Thank you for the testimony of the psalmist who declares that the Lord will perfect. Father, we thank you by the work of your word and your spirit. Lord, you perfect that which concerns us, Lord. Father, we thank you that as we journey with you, Lord, you continue to work in us, the things that we need working. You continue to strengthen us. You continue to approve things, Lord, that need to be removed out of our lives and continue to establish us, Lord, in your work, Father God. And to be Christ like in our thinking, in our speech, in our actions. And I just pray that even as we spend this time today in your presence, that it'll be a work of strengthening in our hearts, Lord. It'll be a work of, Lord, refining. It'll be a work of moving into, to be more like you, God, a step towards that, Lord. We thank you. And we just, Lord, open our hearts to the work of your spirit. We open our hearts, Lord, to the sowing of your word in our hearts, Lord. And we open up our lives to that, Master. And I know that some of these decisions might be difficult, tough. And I pray that, Lord, that you will enable us. You'll give us the grace to do so. So we thank you. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. Okay. So welcome back. Those who joined recently. So marriage and family. Interesting course. Last class, our last couple of sessions, we looked at understanding marriage. We looked at several things, how marriage is a good thing. It is by God. It's God's design. It's not just a social idea, a social construct. It's not something that society dreamed up, but it's from God. He's a designer. So he's very much, he needs to be part and parcel of, you know, every marriage. He's a big factor. He's a third card in the strand, or maybe the first card in the strand, which strengthens the marriages. So we looked at how, you know, it's for two people. It's between a male and a female. It's a covenant. It's an institution. So many wonderful things that we saw to give us an understanding of what marriage is. To give us the complete picture and to also give us the wholesome picture of what marriage is, which is very, very important. It's not just, you know, a romantic idea. It's not, you know, it is that it involves, you know, there's a lot of romance in marriage and it involves a lot of love and all that. But also, you know, you need to look at it in totality, you know, it is not just that. So we looked at that. And we also started by looking at preparing for marriage. How does one prepare? And we looked at the difference between a wedding and a marriage where a wedding is an event. It's a one day thing. It's a ceremony, a very special day or a special time. No doubt about it. But like the title of, you know, very interesting book on marriage goes, you know, after every wedding comes a marriage. So the marriage refers to the life, the journey, the living out, practically living out the promise that we make to each other. The vows that we make to each other during the wedding ceremony. So we see that that's a lifetime because it's a covenant for life. So and because it involves two different people, right, it involves two very different people and people who, you know, who are definitely, you know, whose image they can be created in the image of God, but that image is broken because of sin and God is restoring that. Praise God. But the fact is that there are a lot of unfinished, you know, sides to us, right, which God is continuing to do that. So when we put two people who have a lot of unfinished sides to them, who are works in progress, and how does that marriage work? People who are very different, who have very strong likes, strong dislikes, strong opinions. So the thing is, one needs to prepare for marriage. Right. So we look, that was the second chapter. Of course, you can download the document. It's there in the Classwork section. For those of you who have not done so, you can do that and follow through in your notes. So, just give me a second, please. Okay, let's see. I'm just taking the PowerPoint that will be helpful. Just forgot to take that out. Just give me a minute, please. Okay, so one needs to prepare for marriage. Well, like we could have with our family, especially, you know, maybe our parents, maybe people whom we know who are living quite happily married lives and they didn't go through any of these, you know, marriage preparation, pre-marital counseling and all that. And you might be wondering, you know, why should I go through or maybe, you know, if you're already married person maybe you may have gone through, you may not have. Maybe you're just thinking, you know, is it really necessary? Well, the answer is yes, it is necessary because we live in time. We live in a time and we live in a society where face a lot of cultural influence. We face a lot of, you know, there's a popular culture. We face a lot of, in other words, we hear a lot of voices that are contrary to the word of God, you know. And maybe even tradition, maybe even customs, which are good, but not necessarily, you know, which are good as in which are normal, maybe in a place where you're living, but not necessarily, you know, in line with the word of God. And everybody does that. It's the popular thing. It's the thing to do. So definitely, you know, as individuals one needs to go through the preparation, you know, and it's absolutely necessary. So yeah, so we're looking at how does one prepare for marriage? So if you're a single person, you know, you can, you know, you can say, okay, this is how I can prepare for marriage. If you're a married person, you can say, okay, you know, these are the areas where I need to work on, right, where I need to work on. Okay, I've already made my choice. I'm already married. I'm in this marriage right now. Well, and I've already, you know, made this commitment. So there's no turning back. There's no changing. But, you know, I'm going to prepare. I'm going to, I'm going to strengthen those areas that I see that are like, you know, limitations and maybe there's a, you know, deficient understanding. So I need to work on it. So that's the way to, you know, approach this whole, you know, aspect of preparing my preparation. Okay. Okay, so we saw that last class we saw that, you know, while a person, you know, maybe the person is waiting to get married and looking for the right person, we want to find the best person, right? We want to find the best suited person for us. And maybe we have a list. Okay, this person needs to be like this, look like this. You know, have all these qualities and have all these abilities and have all these characteristics and which is, you know, just fine, which is okay. That's absolutely okay. But more important than that, you know, is to be the best person for the one whom you're going to get married to. That we are going to be the best version of ourselves and we become the best version of ourselves. Because, you know, that's something that we can do because that's in our control and, you know, we can do that. So becoming the best you is the first thing that we looked at. We can become the best we can become that. And as part of that, we're going to look at one more area where several areas actually with regard to our emotions, with regard to our, you know, management of ourselves and so on. So we're going to look at that today, right? Okay, let me just share this video. Okay, that's coming up on your screen. Okay, there we go. Okay, so becoming the best version of ourselves and the Lord Jesus himself says in John chapter 14, you know, I go to prepare something for you, prepare a place for you. Right, so he's preparing a place for us. So preparation or preparing is not wasted time. It's not something unscriptural. It's definitely in line with scripture. Okay, so the second thing that we can look at when it comes to preparation, you know, we're preparing ourselves, you know, what about our emotional health? Okay, so we see that we are spirit soul and body. That's how God's created us. We have our emotions, which are a big part of us. What are our emotions? Well, we are happy, we are sad, we are angry, we are sometimes anxious. You know, all these emotions, you know, make us who we are. We are a big part of emotions, a big part of us. And emotions can be positive emotions can be negative. And emotions actually, you know, influence our thoughts influence our motives influence our behavior, our behavior actions. Right, so emotions can make us, you know, thrive in our relationship, or emotions can be a great hindrance as well. Right, our emotions get the better of us, and and really break down any, you know, our relationship. If it's a negative emotion, right, if we let our emotions rule us, dictate to us, our thoughts or actions, then it becomes a, it becomes a hindrance. Okay, so let's look at that, our emotional health, let's look at, you know, like what we should, what should we do, let's look at scripture. This is what it says, Proverbs 15 and verse 13, a cheerful heart brings a smile to your face, a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day. Okay, that's the message version of John, sorry, Proverbs 15 and verse 13, a cheerful heart. I think the New King James version, a merry heart is what it says, a merry heart, a cheerful heart. And so it's like medicine, it actually brings a cheerful disposition, is what, you know, New King James says. Okay, let's look at John chapter, sorry, Proverbs 17 and verse 22. Okay, so Proverbs 17 and verse 22. Again, yeah, I think this is the verse which says, a merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit rise the bones. Okay, let me read the other verse also, Proverbs 15 and verse 13, which says, a merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. So you see that, you know, what is on the inside of us are emotions, it makes for a good disposition, a cheerful disposition. And we see that it influences us physically, physically it has a bearing. We might say it's just a thought or it's just a mood, but physically it has a bearing and Proverbs 17, it's very clear, it says, broken spirit dries the bones. Okay, so it's an important thing. So our emotional health, okay, what is, how is it, what is it, our positive emotions, our attitudes, our behavior, it's important. So we need to consider that. So one way to look at it is, okay, am I negative, moody all the time? You know, many times we think, okay, I'm like this, I'm down, I'm moody, I'm negative, I'm angry. And you know, we think, okay, having a spouse, having a companion, you know, in marriage, that'll fix everything, that'll solve everything. But the answer is no, right, because we take our negative emotions, our challenges with our emotional health into the relationship, right. And if we do not have the skill to manage, if we do not have the, or if we have not received healing for our emotions, then we're going to carry that into the marriage. And it's going to bring stress, bring, you know, has it bring its own challenges to the relationship, right. So, in fact, marriage is not that cure, you know, in popular, in many cultures, you know, especially here in India, you know, sometimes people say, okay, just get that, get a married, get a married, it'll solve everything. No, it won't solve everything. In fact, expose some of the problems, it'll aggravate some of the problems. The thing is to, to deal with that, to gain strength in those areas, and then, you know, enter into a marriage relationship, right. Okay, so it's not a cure. It'll only expose those weaknesses and aggravate those weaknesses and it'll be detrimental to the marriage relationship. Okay. So what are some negative or unhealthy emotions, attitudes, behaviors? Okay, right. So let's, let's look at some of them. Okay, it could be outbursts of anger. Okay, outbursts of anger and wrath. People are, let's say, someone is, you know, gets angry and it just takes a very small, very minor trigger to, for them to, you know, for them to get angry. Very minor thing. And they just very quickly get angry, just lose composure, self-control, and they don't know what they're speaking and, and they're extremely angry throwing stuff and, and maybe, you know, it leads to physically, you know, the harming another person even, right. We see that's very detrimental thing, outbursts of anger. So if someone has outbursts of anger, where they need to know how to, how to deal with it, right, they need to know how to, well, if they're feeling that trigger, something's triggering that, then they need to actually find out and, and not just manage it, you know, deal with it. In the sense, how do I uproot this thing? Right. Because if you're going to keep it suppressed, if you're going to keep it stuffed in, one day it's going to come out like a volcano and bigger, bad, causing a lot of damages. Right. So, so that's the thing. Okay. The next one is, you know, when someone is always moody, depressive, all the time, you know, feeling very low all the time. Well, it's just the opposite of being cheerful or joyful. If they're going to be feeling low all the time, then that again is a problem, right. It's, it's not normal. The thing is, it's one cannot be like absolutely buoyant and joyful and cheerful. You know, we are human. We do get influenced by what is happening around, maybe there are some challenges and, you know, we think about it and maybe we go through this, you know, time of, okay, anxiety. And we see that, okay, how do I solve this? And we're thinking, how do I, you know, face this challenge? All that is normal. Right. But the thing is we bounce back. Right. We bounce back. We pray. We worship. We, we have these things in us, internal, you know, strategies. We say, okay, I'm going to think about, you know, what is it? What was the Lord said? I'm going to go back to the word. I take it to the Lord. I cast my cares upon him and then bounce back. Right. Right. So if we are not unable to do that, if you are continuing in that downward spiral, then that's a, that's a problem that needs to be addressed. Okay. Okay. Let's look at one more. Okay. Unable to handle stressful situations. Okay. Now, well, all of us face stressful situations. It could be like maybe there's a deadline and we need to. Let's say as students, we have exams to prepare for, and maybe there's a presentation to prepare for. And maybe there are some, you know, on a particular day, there are like three presentations. And, and even though you, you know, you had a month to prepare, maybe you just kept. Okay. You know, thinking, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it one day. I'll do it this weekend, that weekend. And then suddenly the day is there. You know, that's a stressful situation. Right. And so, you know, how do you deal with those stressful situations? Like people deal with it in different ways. They just, you know, we need to have a personal strategy to deal with it. And if we cannot handle stress at all, if we need to do something, maybe I need to go catch a train, I need to go from place A to place B, point A to point B and it's causing a lot of stress. I need to go outside of the house. I need to do this. It's causing a lot of stress. So just imagine if, you know, you're married to someone who's always stressful or you are stressful and you just cause that person. So you're in a bad mood, right? The person says something and you just snap at that person. Okay. So you're stressed out at all times. So it influences the relationship. Okay. Then, you know, if one is always critical, you know, we're looking at emotions, motives, behaviors, being critical and judgmental. Like just criticize everything. Okay. Maybe the food that we eat, you know, maybe somebody's cooked the food and then just overly critical. You know, oh, this is terrible, you know, over and over again. This is salty. This is spicy. This is terrible. Like even if there's something, you know, minutely wrong with it, you know, being critical and judgmental, you know, it's okay to give feedback. Maybe it's okay to evaluate and say and speak the truth. But that needs to be spoken in love. Okay. So if it's critical and being judgmental, being negative and being very pessimistic. Okay. And also, if you are always, you know, if you've not haven't dealt with guilt and you're overwhelmed with shame, guilt of the past, maybe guilt of certain choices, feeling guilty because of certain things that we did or didn't do. And if that is still there, then every time we face, let's say a similar situation, or this comes up, the memory of this comes up, and then we are overwhelmed by it, overwhelmed by guilt. There's shame, there's condemnation and we just, you know, buried in that. And maybe there's a happy occasion, right, in the family, or, you know, there's a celebration, maybe it's a wedding anniversary or something. And then here, you know, here's this person just overwhelmed and by guilt and shame and unable to truly, you know, participate or celebrate together or rejoice together. You know, then again, that's affecting, right, guilt and shame. Okay. What are some other things in security? Okay, inadequacy, lack of self-esteem or self-worth. Okay. Now, this right camouflage itself as, you know, maybe like a very humble humility, you know, but it's a really false humility. It might show up like that, you know. Oh, I'm not worthy. Oh, I don't have, you know, this ability, oh, I'm just a very simple person, et cetera. But is it from a place of insecurity? Right. Is it from a place of inadequacy? The person is feeling very inadequate. Maybe the person feels that I don't have, or I'm not, you know, I'm not learned enough. I don't have an educational background. I do not have, you know, I don't have enough money in the bank, whatever it is, you know, insecurity and inadequacy. Let's say a practical example would be, excuse me. Okay. A practical example would be, let's say the husband and the wife, you know, both of them are working and they are earning. And let's say one person, you know, for, you know, typically let's say the wife is doing extremely well, you know, successful. And the other person, the husband is struggling at the work. Right. So the wife is getting promotions and increments in salary and pay and doing extremely well. And the other person is not, husband is not, you know. So if there's a sense of insecurity about that, you know, how does it show up, you know, oh, my wife is earning more than me. My wife is, you know, doing, is being successful. And, you know, if our security, if the husband's security or sense of self-worth is not in Christ, you know, then that begins to affect their relationship. Right. So one or two things could happen. The husband could say, would really withdraw retreat and and not really be forthcoming, not really share, shut down communication, become angry, but not really show it. You know, internally just boiling, boiling. Oh, my wife is actually, you know, and the thing is, it's no fault of us. And she's just doing well. She's, she's putting in an effort. She's doing well. And maybe things are not going well in the company where the husband is working or whatever, you know, he needs to do well. He needs to, you know, upgrade his skills, maybe there could be many factors. Right. But the thing is, you know, this kind of a thing could happen or the husband might, if the husband is very insecure and feeling very inadequate, a poor sense of self-worth would want to show who's the boss. Right. Oh, she seems to be doing well. Let me show who's the boss at home. She can be the boss in the office, but at home I'm the boss. Right. So being rude, being bossy, do this, do that. And not really, you know, showing the love of Christ. Ephesians 5 talks about, okay, husbands love your wife, Christ loved the church. Well, none of that comes through. You know, it's always like being the boss because if I, I need to show who's the boss because if I don't do that, well, and she's going to treat me bad or she's going to, you know, it's not going to look good when I'm with friends and with people. And, you know, it's not going to look good. I remember when we, when I got married and a well-meaning relative, you know, I just got married, came out of the church and, yeah, I think we finished the reception and we had come back home and we were just about to go to my wife's place. So yeah, so finished dinner and all that. So a very well-meaning relative, but he came to, came to us, came to, came to me actually personally just, you know, Jay Kumar, you know, I know you're a very soft guy, soft spoken, etc. So, but I just want to tell you this one piece of advice, right from day one, you need to show who's the boss, you know, you need to be in control. And thank God I had actually gone through the marital preparation, right? So, and, yeah, so, so this kind of an advice. Day one, you know, I'm getting, of course, that person probably was, you know, definitely was well-meaning, wanted us to do well in life. But the thing is, you know, this kind of an advice, you see, it can be very, very damaging, right? So I want to show who the boss is. You have to be in control. You have to be in charge. So, so all these kinds of things hinder the relationship. Now, if I was very insecure person, I'll just grab that advice and say, yeah, let me show you who's the boss. Okay, so insecurity, inadequacy, etc. Let's, let's look at, let's just move on. Emotionally dependent on parents or other individuals. So, yeah, so emotionally dependent. So that means that, you know, you are for, for each and everything, you know, for your emotional well-being, you are dependent. You are still dependent on your, on your parents, or it could be a friend, or it could be a confidant. And you need to, you know, you're in a place where you're not stable emotionally, but you need to, you know, constantly receive from all of them. So it means that you need to constantly be in touch. You need to constantly hear from them and have them encourage you, have them speak into your lives each and every day. Now, that's not a, that's not a normal thing again. Emotionally dependent on parents or other individuals. Okay, next one, self-centeredness and unhealthy independence. So that is the other extreme where everything revolves around your, yourself. Everything, every decision, every choice, every plan, you're not even considering the other person. If I'm putting myself first, okay, let's say the couple decide, okay, let's, let's go to this place to eat, eat out. Okay, let's go to this restaurant and it's a new place that has come. So that, so if I as a husband, you know, I think, okay, you know, what is my need? You know, what is, what is the things that, what are the things that I like? And, and if I'm going to just base the decision based on that and not even consider, you know, what my wife likes, what she is, you know, what is her favorite food? And if my decision to eat out is only based on that, then it's very, very selfish of me, my self-centeredness. Now, that's again a bad thing and unhealthy independence in the sense, well, everything revolves around me. You know, I, all my schedules and everything, it's, it's totally, you know, totally cut away from everyone else in the family. Well, this case, you know, about cut away from my wife. So I don't depend on you for anything. And also I don't want you to depend on me. I, you know, I'm my own person. You do your thing. I do my thing. You know, there are, there are, you know, couples where, okay, you go on on your vacation. I'll go on my vacation, right? Separate vacations. Then I, you know, you want to eat out. Okay, you go with your friends. I'll go with my friends. I have my set of friends. Well, I have these activities. You have that activity. So there's no, you know, there's no common thing. It's like total extreme independence. You do what you want. I'll do what I want and let's maintain that peace. You know, it's, it's not a healthy thing again. Right. Okay. So self-centeredness, unhealthy independence, jealousy, pride, being controlling, demanding, qualitative, you know, again, if both are like this, then it can be chaos. Or if one is like this, then the other person gets damaged. Right. Unforgiving, calculative, you know, you remember all the wrongs. You know, you have a record. You have wonderful memory. Remember all the wrongs. You remember, you know, what that person wore that day. You remember the day. You remember the time. You know, everything and you not only, you know, do you remember, but you're very quick to pull that out as a weapon. Every time, you know, there's a slight, you know, argument. There's a difference in difference of opinion. Just pull that out. You're always like this. Remember the last time you did this. When was the last time? Oh, five years back. But you remember, you know, you were saying this, you did this. You're very calculative. So that's, you know, that's another, that's something that is not healthy again. And also being selfish and stingy, as opposed to serving, caring, sharing, very selfish. Again, it's like, you know, putting oneself, being very, very self-centered, being deceptive or secretive. That's, sorry, being deceptive, being secretive, and then being very, very suspicious. Sorry. Okay. Not able to trust. You know, these are, these could be because of past experiences. Right. And so we bring that in to this, to the marriage, into the marriage. I will not trust any woman. Well, you bring that into the marriage and to the woman to whom you've made a commitment, you've made a vow and, and you bring that in, though you've not told her, but then you've brought that attitude in, you brought that in. You harbor that lie again saying, I will not trust. Right. So you're not willing to share anything. You're not willing. You're not deceptive. You're not willing to be transparent because you don't trust. At the, at the back of your mind is this thought, you know, a woman cannot be trusted. Or, you know, maybe the woman could be like, you know, always be suspicious. You know, what is he up to? You know, is he seeing someone? Is he, is he secretly, you know, seeing someone? Is he, you know, based on, again, past hurt or whatever. So just imagine if, if this is how our emotions, our attitudes, our attitude is when it comes to marriage, these, it'll, it'll destroy the match. Okay. It'll destroy, it's because that these issues have not been addressed. So you see, in this area of emotional health, one needs to be prepared. Right. And we can't just say, okay, we'll see how things happen. Somehow, you know, we'll just kind of go hit, you know, it'll, it'll all get adjusted. You know, it's like sometimes I'm just reminded of this, you know, again, in here in India and, you know, in this, in my hometown, actually in my hometown right now, when we used to go to school, we sometimes used to take the bus, the city bus, the town bus, and unbelievable number of people get into the bus. I wish I had a picture to show, but unbelievable. Right. So you're just packing in, packing in, packing in. And sometimes you think, okay, how can I ever get in? Right. But then it says, okay, come, come, get in. And you're just standing on the, you know, the football, the steps, right. And you're just hanging and everybody seems to, you know, if they pull, if one more person pulls it, as if the bus will topple, you know, just pulling it and then, and then somehow you just go in, you make your way in, and then people are just, you know, adjusting and then you just go in and then, and the thing is the conductor is making his way. You know, he's making his way, you know, from there, somehow he's moving and then coming and then, and then you need to buy your ticket and how that happens. You know, we did that for so many years. So sometimes we think, okay, all this is there. It's like, it's like a crowded bus, but somehow it will, it'll be fine. You know, just like you're jostling and the thing somehow, you know, in all that, it'll just fall in place. You know, that's a wrong assumption. You know, it might work for a bus here in India in doubt bus going from point A to point B, but you know, it's a very dangerous thing. Right. You need to be prepared. One needs to be intentional about dealing with emotional health. Okay. So any questions here? Anything at all that you want to address that you want to ask. So you can do that right now. Before we move on to the next one. Any questions at all? Okay. One big question is, okay, how do I do this? I know that, you know, I identify this in myself. So how do I, you know, deal with this? Right. So, so that are resources. Now there is a separate course that we're doing, right? So that there are resources that are books. And I just mentioned that the source that we have. So one, one big thing, one major, I would say truth that one needs to be strong in is who you are in Christ, who we are in Christ. You know, that's going to sort out a lot of things. Our identity, our security, our self-worth irrespective of whether we are educated or not educated, whether we are rich or poor, whether we are, you know, talented, not talented, you know, who we are in Christ. Now that's going to settle that truth is going to settle a lot of things that we are accepted. We are, you know, invited, we are loved by God, we are precious to Him. So that's going to sort out a lot of things and bring in a lot of strength and reassurance where we don't have to, you know, put on an act, right? We don't have to be, you know, you know, act in a very negative way or do things in order to grab attention, in order to, you know, show who's who's the boss or who's superior. You don't have to do all that, right? So that is one of the truth. And the other thing is to receive, recognize, okay, recognize, first of all, and receive healing, okay, receive healing. The third thing is to renounce it. Renounce. What does renounce mean? Repentance renounce, you know, for repentance is, of course, you make a change, you decide to change and renounce is, you decide, you just push it away. You're saying, I'm not going to take that back, right? There might be suggestions. There might be, well, temptations to take back those attitudes, to take back those, to, you know, display those emotions, but you're renouncing it, okay? And it's a choice that you make, okay? And of course, we know that our minds need to be to, you know, to even renounce it. Our mind needs to be renewed to the truth of God's Word. And then, when our mind is renewed, our emotions are changed, our thought processes change, therefore our behavior changes, our speech changes, our behavior changes. So our mind needs to be renewed to the truth of God's Word, right? So, you know, when you look at the subject of healing and deliverance and also receiving emotional healing, you know, deals with that in depth, okay? So these are some things that we need to do. Okay, so what we also recommend when it comes to, you know, emotional health is that if somebody's going through a season of grieving, maybe somebody's lost a loved one, maybe it's, you know, it's a parent or maybe it's a sibling or someone in the family and what we very strongly recommend is that the person does not rush into a marriage, like rush into a relationship or rush into a marriage, right? Because then the tendency is to, like, depend heavily on that other person for their emotional well-being and be awaited there and which the other person cannot, right, cannot provide. So the thing, the best thing is to wait, receive healing, receive strength and then get into any kind of like a relationship or marriage, right? Okay, so then let's look at the next one, which is management of yourself, okay? Managing oneself, okay? I hope you're all following everybody there, okay? So personal management, management of ourselves. So what does that mean? Problems 25, 28. Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls, okay? So whoever does not know how to guide one's own affairs and things, you know, duties, responsibilities, who does not know how to rule over his own spirit, her own spirit, is like a city broken down, which means very vulnerable, without protection, open for attack, very, very, you know, it's a great weakness, right? So one needs to know, one needs to have the skill to conduct oneself, to be organized, to be able to rule over or conduct our own, you know, various things that we need to look at. So we're going to look at a few things, right? So first thing is when it comes to career or work, well, are you able to provide for, you know, provide for your needs and for the needs of the household? Very important point, right? So you're trying to get married, great. But are you able to provide? Do you have a steady job or maybe you're thinking about a business or an entrepreneur? You know, is there enough coming in so that the household can be supported? And, you know, do you have enough for you and your spouse and children when they come? You know, these are things. So you career, you work, your profession, you know, are you going, are you holding on? I mean, holding on is not the word, you know, are you, do you have a steady job? Is it steady? Are you, is it something that you're, you know? I remember talking to someone who actually changed the job every year or even shorter than that. You know, sometimes two jobs in a year and these were well-paying jobs. It's not like, you know, it's not like the jobs were not paying well or there was not enough salary or it was not like that. It was, these were good positions, but sadly the person, you know, just, just resigned because at the slightest provocation, right? Or maybe the pride was hurt or maybe they, you know, just went on. It was a, it was a very bad season in the sense, you know, just to look back and talk to the person. So many job changes. So it just didn't look good on the resume. It doesn't talk highly about the person. And so when, you know, when you go for an interview, it's like the person thinks twice, thrice before hiring because it's like so many changes. So will the person stick on or not being able to stay no steadfastness, right? So, yeah, so career important. So other things also would be like, okay, if the person is working from home, you know, clearly demarcated, okay, these are work hours. These are family hours, you know, there could be seasons where things overlap. Maybe there's something to be submitted. Maybe there's a project, which is, you know, there's a product release or something if you're an IT. And maybe there's a big presentation happening coming up, big client meeting maybe. So therefore, you know, extra hours at work and that eats into family time, but it should not be an everyday thing, right? So clearly demarcated boundaries and so on. Okay, so one very other important thing to talk about is, okay, maybe we'll take a break and we'll come back. I'm just going to talk about, you know, what if the job requires a person or maybe husband or the wife to relocate to another place, right? Separate it. They need to work separately, maybe in one other country and the same. It's a common occurrence, right? So we'll talk about that when we come back. Okay, so we'll take a break. Thank you.