 So one of the interesting things about YouTube is that you only see what I get to put on here, but the last couple of weeks I've been struggling pretty bad with my depression and I want to talk a little bit about it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and welcome back to another video where we are diving deep into depression and today I'm talking about what's depression like. So just to let you all know I'm doing fantastic now. I like to get through something and then come on and share my experience with it and real quick I saw my buddy Kim Charlson, I'll link her channel down below. She was talking about what it's like being a mental health YouTuber and she just hit the nail on the head. I really hope that I don't come off as like this all-knowing being who is always just in tip-top mental shape because I'm not. I will say that compared to where I was about six years ago to now it is like 99.9% better but I still go through my struggles and the last couple weeks have been a perfect perfect example of that. So what I try to do is share a little bit about my experience but like you know how we do on the Rewired Soul I talk about the solution. Like there's no point in just sitting here and telling you about my struggles unless I tell you about the solutions that I found that have helped me out because as you see I got this big old goofy grin on my face. So yeah my depression was hitting me hard the last couple weeks. I was diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder diagnosed with depression but my anxiety was always worse than my depression but man like it really hit me and it was weird going through it because it's very rare these days and getting stuck in it like I get it like man I see some people comment and talk about this hopelessness and like that's all I felt. I felt this hopelessness and a lot of it had to do with what was going on in my life and I'll touch on that in a minute but like I just didn't find motivation like I would come home and I'm usually thrilled to get home from work and hop on and make a video and I was kind of forcing myself too but like the thing is that I love making these videos and that's why you see that charisma come through because I'm able to tell myself that when I'm going through this like and I'm making content like this I'm helping other people and that perks me up at least for that little bit of time but the motivation was lacking in other places and like I just felt completely down and out and something that my brain still does and I need to make videos about this like I have the most self-critical brain like my brain tells me that I am just a garbage person right that I'm terrible at my job I'm not a good boyfriend I'm not a good father I'm not great at YouTube like this is what my brain tells me and then I get into that mood of just like what's the point why am I doing this why am I trying to do this why am I trying to build this and like it sucks it really really sucks because when you're stuck in depression there's no light at the end of the tunnel and what what really makes me beat myself up even more is because I have so much knowledge and education about mental health like I feel like I shouldn't be going through stuff like I shouldn't but I have to dial back and remember like I'm human I have a brain and I have neurotransmitters I have situations in my life that I can't control and things are going to happen even to me no matter how much knowledge I have no matter how much education I get I will still struggle with my mental health from time to time so as far as the life circumstances not to go into too many details but there's some things changing at my job and things like that and like it makes me really nervous like something about my anxiety is that I like to be in control I like to know things are a certain way and when things change like my brain goes out of whack because with an anxious brain it just thinks of the worst possible scenarios so anytime there's a change I start losing my mind but and this is just a theory too like a lot of you are new subscribers in the last month or so I've gotten about 4,000 subscribers and it was this great high it went on for about two weeks and then it dipped off and like I try to remember because like even when it was happening I knew I knew I told my girlfriend I told my other friends I was like this is going to stop and I got to be prepared because it's going to stop but I wasn't getting that constant dopamine burst of like refreshing my youtube channel just saying new subscribers new subscribers new subscribers even though it has still continued to grow you know just not as much in the last couple weeks and like I am so appreciative of all of you who are subscribed and check out my videos and try to find help for your mental health or you share my videos with other people who are struggling so when you combine the work stuff and then the youtube stuff like there's just a lot been going on and now it's time for us to start focusing on the solution like I want to tell you the things that I did to get myself out of depression okay first and foremost some of you saw my video maybe a month or two ago about how I stopped taking my meds okay I talked about how I did this with my doctor and everything like that but one thing that I always do is I always have a refill just in case this happens so I was able to kind of sit back and my girlfriend actually mentioned it too and I decided to start taking my medications again like no shame in that I have no problem sharing that with all of you like my brain wants to tell me Chris you failed you were doing so well without your medications like that's what my brain wants to tell me but these medications do help so I started doing that I started feeling a little bit better but like the next thing I did and I can't stress this enough like I had to tell people about it I had to tell people about it now although I wasn't voicing it on youtube or my instagram and stuff I was calling people like I was telling everybody like I have to be open and honest about what I'm feeling so the people who love and care about me can help me when I need it so I turned to my girlfriend I told her I said hey I've been really struggling with depression lately I called up my mom and I told her too my mom is a psychologist and she helps me out a lot she's also in recovery from addiction I told other friends I talked to my fellow youtube buddies and like the love and compassion and stuff that I got or just having them there to listen to me like it got this weight off my shoulder by just being able to talk to them now I am very fortunate that I work at a mental health treatment center so I worked with a bunch of therapists so I went to one of my therapists one of my co-workers who I trust a lot and like we sat down and we just talked and like she offered me so much good advice and it wasn't even like a therapy session she just has her stuff together and we were just sitting there having a conversation and just talking about my life circumstances and stuff and like she offered me suggestions I was more than happy to take but after that after reaching out getting support taking my medications like a lot of it was I was putting in work like this is what helps your mental health like that is something I try to stress to all of you guys like I hope you don't passively watch my videos I hope you actively watch my videos when I provide you with solutions I hope you're trying them I don't care if it's writing I don't care if it's seeing a therapist I don't care if it's meditating I don't care if it's going to 12 step meetings or support groups regardless of what it is like just do something and like because I have all this knowledge and education about all these different solutions I just started going nuts I started trying everything like meditation save my butt I'll just close the door my office I'll sit down and meditate for like 10 minutes and like I just constantly do that every single day and it starts bringing my mood up all right the other thing is one of the things that helps my depression more than anything is calling other people and asking them how they're doing that sounds crazy but it works it helps me get out of myself to be of service to other people helps me get out of this crazy thing that wants to fall into self pity and doubt and worry and all these other things and I'm able to help another human being that actually uplifts us and makes us feel better I often tell my clients I've never met somebody who went out and like fed the homeless and was like man I really feel like crap after that no it feels good to help other people the other thing was I started taking the gym more seriously again I was dialing back on the gym I was going maybe like once or twice a week now I'm trying to get it back up to three or four times a week get those natural endorphins going I'm trying to eat a little bit better and I'm losing weight my girlfriend's been doing great going to the gym too so that motivates me as well but like man I just can't stress enough like our mental health is our responsibility it's not fair to ourselves or the people who care about us to sit in our depression or our anxiety or our mental illness without even trying to get some help and I get it like like I said the motivation to do things wasn't there but I have to sit there and just force myself to just do one thing just one thing and it starts to get that ball rolling you know what I mean and like I would set little goals for myself like just do this just make this phone call just text this person just meditate for five minutes if you can't do 10 minutes whatever it is just small little baby steps and I'm feeling amazing now all right but anyways like I hope this helped I hope some of you can relate to this I hope some of you take some of the suggestions I've I've given and laid out here some of the things that help me might help you but you might have your own suggestions about what helps you get out of depression and I want to hear down in the comments below all right but anyways the last thing I'll say Instagram TV just came out today so I'm gonna provide my Instagram name again right here make sure you go follow me on there because I'm gonna try to do a bunch of content and I got a surprise for y'all this weekend all right but anyways if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and if you are new here I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental health make sure you click that little round subscribe button and if you would like to support what I'm doing here on this channel trying to help people with their mental health go on over and head over to the patreon all right but anyways thanks so so much for watching get out of the problem and into the solution and I'll see you next time