 Today May 40 here, so about three weeks ago I was diagnosed with ADHD and it's been something that's kind of been on the periphery of my consciousness and I should probably get checked out for this for at least 15 years because about 15 years ago I met a therapist who specialized in sex addiction and I did an interview with her, you can find that in my archives and she mentioned that every single one of her clients who are addicted to sex or addicted to love that they were ADHD and so that was kind of a prompt, hey maybe I should get this checked out then I started having family members who were talking about maybe they have ADHD then a family members who are diagnosed with ADHD and the quality of their life took a dramatic jump upon getting medicated with equivalent of retinolone or Adderall and I mean their life just dramatically improved upon getting medicated yet I didn't do anything about this right I just kind of let it linger in the back of my mind until about a month ago when I got two separate entreaties from people close to me say you know please go get checked out for ADHD and I did got diagnosed and then Thursday I finally took medication for the first time so I received a lot of warnings about this medication Adderall from friends of mine who I believe all had abused it and they warned me maybe after sleep and there are severe side effects and it's highly addictive and you quickly become used to a particular level and you just keep craving more and more Adderall and they felt significantly they depreciated the quality of their life so I deliberately waited until a non-workday until Thanksgiving till Thursday to try my first dose and when I took my first dose I'm going to admit I was disappointed because I was hoping for a burst of energy I was hoping for a burst of euphoria I was hoping for a burst of confidence I was hoping for a burst of productivity right these are all the benefits of Adderall from that I'd read up on of people taking it I didn't experience any of those things I did experience feeling medicated right I did not feel normal it wasn't it wasn't heinous right but I just felt like I was drugged I went ahead and took my Adderall as prescribed so I have no history with abusing prescription medication for several years I took lithium for several years I took clonidine for several years I took clonopam I quit all three upon beginning my daily alexander technique teacher training so I was doing daily alexander technique work and so a couple of months into that daily work I abandoned these three medications I've also taken prescription medaffinil and at no time with any of my prescription medications have I abused them taken them for a non-prescriptive purpose or at a non-prescribed amount so all my friends who warned me about the dangers of Adderall these were all people who had abused their prescription for Adderall and taken it at much higher rates than was prescribed so does my medaffinil get jealous of my Adderall so when I went on Adderall I quit the medaffinil so some people take it in combination but not with a prescription all right there's no prescribed use to the best of my knowledge for both medaffinil and and Adderall now it's been four days since I've begun my twice daily five milligrams at a time Adderall routine and here are the differences that I note so I notice that when I read now I have no desire to listen to music at the same time so usually when I sit down and read a book I would often have music playing in the background so I think I'm a little bit more predisposed towards focus and I don't need quite as much stimulation so that's one difference another difference I noticed is that I've started doing a lot more cleaning so I vacuumed my room for the first time in 10 weeks I like I went around my place just you know vacuuming and dusting and cleaning so a lot more cleaning than is normal for me and I'd say I'm about average for heterosexual male right I've not usually been described as a slob I'm not super neat I'm not super dirty I'm kind of average for for a heterosexual male but that is myself doing more cleaning and also I started taking care of some routine tasks that I just let lapse and of course I can't definitively state to you well this is a direct result of my Adderall but I think there might be a connection so for example I have I had fluorescent light bulbs here in this room that would emit a low hum and I just finally got sick of that low hum and I googled it and read that yeah with fluorescent light bulbs having a low hum is very common so I just removed my fluorescent light bulbs with the hum and put in like regular light bulbs without a hum and that's an improvement in the quality of my life there's not this low level hum going on in the background I also ordered two pairs of new jeans and became prepared to throw away two pairs of old jeans that have some very minor little holes towards the bottom of my legs but I'd allowed myself to you know wear these old jeans with you know little holes at the bottom of the leg and so I finally just took care of that so that's that's a difference now I've kind of gone through my life verbally impulsive just blurting out inappropriate things and this has wreaked havoc on my life but not just on my life but on the lives of people close to me and it's not just me other people in my family also have this habit of just blurting out inappropriate things and this would leave me with kind of a a doomy gloomy beer it kind of in the back of my psyche that whenever I get close to someone I will inevitably disappoint and hurt them because of this tendency I have to just blurt out things and I've also led my life knowing that I can't trust myself that I will inevitably blurt out things that are inappropriate that will cost me friendships status jobs you know all sorts of things that are important to me and I have this habit that I haven't been able to overcome and yeah there's just kind of a low level dread so let me get my act together here. Hamas has released 14 more Israeli hostages today the third day of the Midi ceasefire and no word on the American hostages that the White House had believed could be included today since Bibi Netanyahu's war cabinet accepted the deal under enormous pressure Harass has now released 40 Israeli hostages in exchange for the ceasefire and the release of 150 Palestinian prisoners and of course we're very happy for those released and their anguish families Netanyahu stressed the war will continue. And I'm sure that the day after Hamas there will be no threat to Israel. I don't trust Hamas to do anything right I only trust Hamas to respond to pressure. Let's stop right there the media should not fall into the Hamas propaganda trap that this is some grand humanitarian gesture blessed by God they kidnapped the Israelis as a bargaining chip the Hamas terrorists seizing 240 hostages most of them civilian families including very elderly people and very young infants think about how barbaric that is look at that a two-year-old an 85-year-old among those released Friday here's Ohad Monder nine years old being released being reunited with his father and Hamas which held up yesterday's hostage release for hours will use the ceasefire to reset his military and put its fighters in a better position to kill more Israelis Netanyahu also came under pressure from President Biden says he'll after the pause he'll resume the military campaign to topple Hamas which don't forget started this war with its brutal massacre on October 7th I'm Howard Kurtz and this is media buzz I had a free press thanks Howie and good good point in the chat is being the only topic on Fox the last month and a half yeah Fox has just been resolutely pro-Israel to a greater extent than I believe it ever has been before I don't recall seeing one pro-Palestine commentator as a guest on Fox for the last six weeks not one which is kind of extraordinary and the chat complaints no coverage about what's going on in Ireland yeah I know that there was a stabbing and then a bunch of riots blamed on the far right do you notice that you you often hear invocations of the far right in the news media but very rarely do you hear any mention of the far left I just went into google news put in far right something like 150 000 mentions put in far left something like 50 000 mentions so a three to one ratio is a much lower ratio than than what I expected but anyway uh getting back to my fourth day on Adderall like carrying with you a fear of your own impulsivity and the both self-destructiveness of this trait and the the harm that it inevitably does to other people it's not a happy thing walking around with it and I may be reading too much into my two five milligram pills a day of Adderall but I feel like this fear has been lightened and I feel like this impulse is diminished compared to what it was prior to going on Adderall I think I have more of an ability to wrestle with the mundane and non-exciting details of life that are essentially part of being an adult so I'm kind of excited about what my life might look like under Adderall but I'm going to receive feedback from people close to me I'd be glad if I can go through my life without causing you know unnecessary pain to other people I'd be glad if I can stop paying more attention to mundane details that used to just skip skip out on I've caused myself tremendous damage by failing to keep track of important paperwork failing to appropriately fill out paperwork I've just caused myself thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of damage and just untold amounts of aggravation because I did not pay attention to non-exciting details I think I think I might be a little better at this so in 12-step programs we often say there's no non-spiritual solution to a spiritual problem but at the same time there may be all sorts of non-spiritual problems such as ADHD to which there is no spiritual solution so I do believe we live in a post-modern world where no single narrative is sufficient to make life go here and not the spiritual narrative not the scientific narrative right spirituality is not enough science is not enough religion is not enough medicine and psychology are not enough you need multiple narratives and more complex uh hero systems so if you have an emotional addiction you might want to get checked out for ADHD or if people told you you might have ADHD it's probably worth getting that that checked out also worth getting an overnight sleep test right it's really hard to improve your life when you're compulsively acting out in some way where you can't trust yourself to act in your own best interest and when you're not getting adequate sleep so I went on medafinil in June of 2013 I had a prescription and it it mildly helped me with my ADHD symptoms I feel like I'm getting more help for my ADHD symptoms now by substituting Adderall for medafinil now I'd love to get a more dramatic boost to my life by trying a higher dose of Adderall but I'm grateful to miss out on the negative side effects with the just low 10 milligrams total a day dose so I might just hang out here a while excitement can wait so I noticed uh Bernard said on Twitter how can you really appreciate the good days your good health your good company without the bad days bad health bad company you take things for granted if you don't get the bad experiences well no matter how much you improve your life you will always have bad experiences and you'll always take things for granted there's no magic pass for leaving the human condition now I have no history with abusing prescription medication many people do have a history and I notice that those who are the most hostile to me trying Adderall are people with a history of abusing prescription medication so some people you know abuse alcohol some people abuse drugs some people abuse you know dissident right material some people abuse gambling so I had to quit gambling in my senior year of high school because I ended up as my high school's bookie owing one acquaintance of mine about $1400 and I realized hey this this is way out of control on the other hand about 20 years ago I was able to gamble without you know much problem when someone else gave me the money to do it all right someone wanted to go play the slot machines wanted me to come with her said now I can't do it I'm a gambling addict she says I'll give you $20 so I went I gambled $20 on the slot machines with her money and then I was able to walk away and quit so there are probably some foods that I never eat because I find it easier to abstain from them to be moderate so we have to know ourselves know know what things that we can you know indulge in without without going nuts and and which things we can't participate in at all let's get a little bit more here at media buzz murdering more than 1300 people and what's going on today in this in this hostage release it's just it's just beyond fathom well we'll go to Israel shortly for a live report but joining us now to analyze the coverage in Grand Rapids Michigan Robbie Suave