 We invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Psyhard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as Vasquale. Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventures. So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Vasco in Italy. Mama me, Chicago is a wonderful city but there's one thing not so good about the biggest city. Nobody is a know each other. In our little town of Castel Amare, I'm a walker down the street and a smile, everybody is a smile of back. Over here if I'm a walker in the street and a smile, everybody is a think I'm a crazy. A smaller town like ours, maybe it's not to have an advantage of a big city like a Chicago, but it is so nice. You say hello to everybody, even a tour goat. And if it's a lady go to you take off your hat. Over here I'm a once you take off from my hat to stand on the street and a smile and what's to happen. In a half hour I'm a collector 45 cents. Over here Mama me, people is always in a big rush, rush, rush, rush. They even have got the one hour special for rushing. It's called the rush hour. This is for the people who's have forgot to rush during the daytime so they get the one or more chance to catch up at night. Everywhere signs is a teller people to hurry up or save a time. Get to your haircut in a 15 minutes. Get a car washed in a 12 minutes. Eat the busy b-launch in a 10 minutes. And yesterday I'm a cemetery advertisement that's to say make a down payment to now. Why wait? You know, Mama Mia, I think it would be wonderful if all of a sudden everybody is here is a stop rushing around for one minute. And I say hello to the fellow standing next to him. Well, is it not time now for dreaming a Mama Mia? Because there's a time for me to go to my night school at class so I'm a finisher this letter later. Have some quiet. Fine. I'll call the roll now. Mr. Basko, Mr. Harwood, Mr. Olsen, Mr. Schultz. Mr. Schultz, you're here. Why don't you say here? I just want to break the monotony. All right, Mr. Schultz. All right, enough of that. Now class, before we begin our lesson I think you might be interested in knowing that North Hall Stead Street, the very street where our school is located, will be 50 years old this week. North Hall of Stead Street? That's where I got to my store. And that's where the Pasqualeas have got his spaghetti palace. Yes, and Mr. Schultz has his delicatessen store there. Now class, a little arithmetic. If the street was begun 50 years ago, who can tell me the exact year? I know. I know. I know. Call on me. I know. Very good. Mr. Schultz, the rest of the class knows the answer. Why don't you? Because it is my great enchantment in life to make other people look smarter. Be my folding. I raised my hand first. Please let me answer. There he goes, the quiz kid with wrinkles. All right, Mr. Olsen, Hall Stead Street was begun 50 years ago. It's 1949 now. What year would that be? 1899. Markdown from 1900. Please pay attention and learn something. The 1890s were important years in our nation's progress. You bet. The automobile was invented in 1893. Well, that's very good, Mr. Olsen. Now, besides the automobile, does anyone know another invention of the 1890s? Yeah, Milani's 1890, for instance. Oh, no, no. Mr. Basco? Mr. Basco? You seem to be engrossed in something. Miss Paulding, you tell us before that the North Hall Stead Street is going to be 50 years old this week? Yes, that's right. Miss Paulding, this city is so big. Must be there's a dozen of people on North Hall Stead Street who know each other. Imagine. People living right next to each other and they're strangers. Luigi, that's very true. What are you getting at, Mr. Basco? I was thinking, why we don't have a big block party and everybody has to come out and eat and a dance and a singing and get to know each other and be friends. Luigi, you deserve credit. Oh, Luigi, my friend, you got a brain. It's so smart. It should be in a bottle. Block parties with a collet light, strung across the street, people dancing all night. I remember once, our district alderman gave a block party and you got a dream. Oh, the finest food was passed around like hotcakes and the champagne flowed like water. But I'm sure that sounds expensive. Hotcakes and what are the expense? Now look, Luigi, don't worry about the expense. Smile. For my own delicatessen, I will donate food and Pasquale, that sheep's skate, he's going to donate too. I'll string up the lights and take care of all the decorations. And I will go around and get the whole neighborhood. Well, I think the best way to handle this is to form a committee. Oh, my lord, you hit the hammer right on the thumb. Oh, we're going to have a block party committee meeting right after class and everything's going to be arranged. Sure, sir. I think you're wonderful. Oh, stop, Luigi. This is all your idea. And if any credit must be handed out, yes, sir. I want you to hand it to me. Gee, my friend, hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Oh, Pasquale, something wonderful is happening. I'm so happy, I feel like I'm singing. What's happening? Your uncle Pietro's a goat to die and leave you, Uncle Pietro? No, Pasquale, it's a better than that. I explain it. This is Tuesday night. Hollister Street, is it going to have a birthday party? Stop! What are you talking? Street, is it going to have a birthday? That's all right, sir. Stop! Somebody's a jumper's a tracks and an ender's super chief. I know, I know. Street, is it going to have a birthday and instead of burning the candles, is it going to burn a lamppost? Pasquale, the way you're talking, you make me... Sure, sure, I can adjust to hear the party now. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Lord Hollister Street. Happy birthday to you. I'm a jumper, my tracks, too. Pasquale, let me explain to you. Miss Spaulding was telling us today how our street was a start 50 years ago. So I say, why we don't have a black party and a celebrate? Oh, that is the real thing. That's the one I'm telling you. Olsen is telling all the people. We're going to get the music. Hollister is going to put up the lights. And a Schultz is ahead of the committee. Oh, that is a smart delicatessen, man. Already he's a takeover. Luigi, if you get such idea, why do you go to everybody else when you should have come to meet a fellow to bring you from the other country? After all, I'm most the respect of a man here. So do you know I'm ahead of the block? That's right, Pasquale. I should have come to you. You're the real block ahead. Sure. It's a funny thing. When I'm saying it, it's a come out of different. Pasquale, I hope you're not mad. Because we figure you're going to give a lot of food for the party. Food for the party? Well, is it so? Not only am I going to give a food, but I'm going to see it's going to be nice music of people who should dance. Oh, Pasquale, you going to hire an orchestra? No, an organ. Organ? Pasquale, what is it the organ are going to play? Here comes the bride for my daughter Rosa. Who is she going to marry? I love my son. Goodbye, papa. Goodbye to you, little fool. You know, Mary Rosa, you know what kind of food I'm going to give? Strong hearted dog food. You get a nothing. I'm going to give a food or you know, got a party. You're sitting around like a bunch of republicans. But Pasquale, the people is already invited on. I'm already promised. Promise, promise, promise. Only promise I'm interested in is when you sing it to Rosa. Oh, promise to me. Oh, Pasquale. Luigi, everything is all arranged. It's Schultz. Schultz, we've got a new party. Pasquale is going to give a food unless I'm a Mary Rosa. Ah, Henry. I love Schultz. What's the bride of you here? A stalk. And what bride of you here, I believe, sir? Mr. Delicatessen, a man. Why are you flying off at the head of the bar? Because, all of us, you are taking advantage of my friend, the stupid little dumbkopf. Please, I sure see you making me blush. Luigi, you stay out of it. Yeah, shut up. You don't concern me. Shut up. Don't you dare tell him to shut up. If anybody should tell him to shut up, I'm his friend. I'm gonna tell him to shut up. Luigi, who do you want us to tell you to shut up? I'm gonna want to start a fight. I'm gonna shut up and myself. Luigi, why are you wasting your time with his stupid block party? Give him my Rosa ring, get him married, have a 10 or 15 of Bambino's, raise you on the block. Listen, Pasquale, you stop playing ring around the Rosa. Are you giving it food for the party or not? Absolutely not. Mr. Delicatessen, a man, I believe in that pleasure to you. You can eat him all of the food you want. A smart cop, huh? But, if that's the case, I'm giving nothing, not even one stitch of salami. She'll say, what are you saying? Just because a Pasquale is acting like that, you gotta act in the same way. That's right. If he's gonna act like a chakas, I'm gonna prove to him I'm twice the chakas he'll ever do. Anymore. Gonna shoot the place. Don't go. I was gonna give 500 Veena schnitzels, but after seeing the very Pasquale act, I wouldn't even give one schnitzel. Go by. You're twice the jackass I am, huh? Gotta get up early in the morning to do that. Come on, and we get down to Dave's radio shop and we watch the television in the wind, huh? They got a picture to cheer you up. Hop along in Cassidy. And Luigi. You want a life to save? Is your favorite flavor orange? Listen, Luigi, forget this block of party idea about people talking to each other and being friends. You see anybody worrying about you? In America, you worry about yourself, but just to make it a buck, keep your nose in your own plate. I don't know, Luigi. Use of my hand, could you? A delightful, fancy-free screwball comedy as refreshing as the first warm winds of May is tomorrow night's choice on CBS Lux Radio Theater. John Lund and Wanda Hendricks will come to the CBS microphones to reenact their original motion picture roles in the hilarious Miss Tatlox Millions, the tale of a young man who finds out for himself that love is more valuable than money. Be sure to be around tomorrow night when John Lund and Wanda Hendricks star on most of these same stations in Miss Tatlox Millions as Lux presents Hollywood. And now for the second act at Luigi Basko's Adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. And I saw Mama Mia. I was up all night to warn her because the Schultz in a Pasquale isn't going to give her food for the block of party. I'm going to have the heart to disappoint all of the people who's going to come to the party. So first I think maybe I should use all of my money to buy the food. But is it not going to be enough? Three hamburgers. More than anything, I'm like a Schultz in a Pasquale should be friends again. And at this party should be a success. If only I'm going to have the money to buy food. Mama Mia, I'm going to have so much money troubles and then nobody to tell them to. Then I'm going to think. The bank. Sure, they gotta want a girl there just to listen to you because over her is a sign that's to say hello. I'm going to go right now to the bank in Italy. I'm Mr. Hudson, manager of this bank. The teller informs me you're interested in obtaining a loan. Is that right? That's right. You see, I'm got a big problem. Well, how much do you want? How much you got? Mr. Basko, our bank has assets of over three million dollars. How many I want that much? But just how much were you thinking of borrowing? Well, let me see. We should have at least two or three hundred pounds of a bologna and the salami and quarts. Three hundred the pounds of spaghetti, not the count on a meatballs. Also 50 pies, a huckleberry, pumpkin and a lemon. No, lemon is no good. Yes, yes, Mr. Basko. Also, I think 200 pickles will be enough. Mr. Hudson, how many slices do you get there from a pickle? Well, I don't know. I think my wife gets four. Oh, she slices a big. I'm going to get eight slices. Yeah, 200 pickles is more than enough. Now, how much you think is it going to cost for bread to feed so many people? Well, what kind of bread are you getting? White rye or pumpkin pickles? Any kind you got. Well, we've got them all. Well, I bet. Yeah, sure, I'll take them all. Well, that should cost, uh, Mr. Basko. What's this loan for? Here's for a party. You're borrowing money to make a party? This party isn't out there for me. It's a black party. All the status treaties are going to be 50 years all of Tuesday. Shulks and a Pasquale. You know them? Well, yes, they're depositors here. Well, they was going to bring a footer for the party, but they changed their mind. I'm no one who disappointed the people. So I'm going to pay. Please, Mr. Hudson. Well, Mr. Basko, this is very irregular. Even if I wanted to grant you this loan, what collateral do you have? Huh? Security. What security can you give us to insure the loan? Well, I'm just the one who make the people happy. They should all get to know each other. Making people happy? What kind of security is that? That's the biggest security I know. Mr. Basko, our bank has been on Halstead Street for many years. And, and what, Mr. Hudson? Well, my gosh, I think your block party is an excellent idea. I'll see to it that it goes on. Oh, Mr. Hudson, you're going to give me the money? You go ahead with your party plans. All the food will be there. Remember me, and don't worry, Mr. Hudson. I'm going to pay you back every penny. Please, are you coming to the party, too? Well, I have an engagement Tuesday night, but I'll try to make it. Mr. Hudson, you are fine a man. And you make wonderful automobiles. Someday I buy one. Oh, Basko parties are going to be. America, I love you. You like a papa to me, from ocean to ocean. That's a wonderful dancer. Luigi, you're a wonderful dancer, isn't he, Esther? Yes, Luigi. How do you think you should dance so good, our Jewish dance? Well, I'm going to take a deeper down underneath the feet. All the dances are the same. Hey, Harowitz, I must see you dance. I never see you dance before the Irish, really. You dance it, but it ain't no Riley. The Irish, real. To me, that's for Russian, because that's keep it up rope. What a wonderful party. Mr. Basko, the food's delicious. Mr. Shulton, Mr. Pascuali really fixed things up nicely, didn't they? Well, uh, yes, they fixed the things. Miss Folding, I would like to ask you a question, please. What is it, Mrs. Oroi? Though my husband, he's a good boy in school. He behaves himself. Uh, well... Believe me, Esther, it's a pleasure to stay after school with Miss Folding. Why? All right. Mr. Shulton, do you see Mrs. Pascuali? Oh, there she is. Well, I did see Mr. Pascuali. He's been standing there behind that lamppost. I can understand it. Excuse me, I'm going over and talk to him. Hey, Pascuali, why are you just standing there watching the people? I'm a guy to write to watch. You walk along the stores, you go win the shopper. I'm just a standard to hear watching the people. I'm a people shopper. Believe me, you asked me to look for someone. Look here, but I found... Oh, isn't it? Stop dragging me by the ear. I am not a cooker spaniel. Shultz, Anna Pascuali, why are you two no shaker hands and a big friend? Oh, Shultz is ahead. I thought the wind was a-shifting from the stock yard. Somebody can say old radio jokes. I may come up from my own head. Vart heads, the only thing you got between your ears is a meatball. No, please, please, Shultz, Pascuali, is a blocker party. Have a fun and a joy. Hey, I'll sort of call Ralph and the Angelus and tell him to sing and we all start the big dance. Oh, there he is. Hey, please. Ralph, you start your song now. Ladies and gentlemen, hold your hands with whoever is standing next to you. And are we going to dance around the blocker? That's right. Come on, hurry up. Push it out of the squeeze box, Shultz, Pascuali. You stand next to each other. Hold the hand. No, never. No, not away the hand. All right, then you first hold my hand. Pascuali's a hand. Nothing. Do you like the dance? Oh, it was wonderful, Louis. It was just a two-ground-up sacked like a baby, sir. Yeah, but we're not acting like babies no more. Pascuali, I apologize for starting the fight with you. Sorry, your fault. The Shultz, I was the one who's a star. What are you talking about? I was the one who did it. I'm afraid it's so good tonight. Fine, Pascuali. In fact, I'm afraid it's so good, I'm not even going to ask you to marry Rosa. Thank you, Pascuali. I'm going to let Rosa ask you herself. Good tonight, but now is the time to pop with a question. Go ahead, Rosa, say it. You just to come here? Well, I got here in time to join that last dance. I enjoyed it very much, too. But I have to leave now, and before I go, I thought I'd give you these bills for the food. Oh, oh, bills. Please, Mr. Hudson, I take this up for you to the bank tomorrow. I'd rather settle them now. Here they are. All right, the bill for fifty dollars is from... and the fifty... Mr. Hudson, you bought all the food from a Shultz and a Pascuali. You read them and let them a little for Schimmel to hear. Mr. Hudson, you mean to say the food I told you is being served here? Why, yes. Oh, Schimmel, and I've been telling everybody how terrible it was. I merely bought the food from Mr. Baskar. Rather than let this block party fall through, he undertook the pay for everything himself. Don't worry, Schultz, I'm not going to pay you back. Every penny profit I'm making for my business is going to go to you until you get to your fifty dollars. That long I ain't going to live. Oh, you little dumb cop, Luigi, you don't owe me nothing. I'm happy to give you the food. And him, oh, it was delicious. Oh, Schultz, that's it. And you, Mr. Pascuali, when do you want your bill paid? When enough to hold steady street is a hundred and fifty years old. Luigi, I think you're right. You keep your nose in your own plate, but you get as a nose full of gravy. Oh, Pascuali. You think I'm going to take the money from you, you little punk in the head? Well, come on, Luigi, let's start the dance again. Eh? Luigi, don't just stand there like that. Hey, Luigi. Hey, Luigi, you're using my handkerchief. So, Mamma Mia, today was the happiest day of my life. You should see all of these people who's living on the same street for so long, and it's the first time they stop to say hello to each other. It's a give everybody good feeling. What a man, he's an encyclopedia salesman. He's a get-to-like of me so much, he's giving me the first book of free. Now, all I've got to do is abide the other 19. Mamma Mia, I can adjust see how you would give your biggest smile to see all those different people that dance in together. People who first to come from Ireland, to Poland, to Russia, France, to Germany, Italy, all them mix it together. Was it like international a mixer, master? I don't want to schultz in a Pasquale, hold the hands and become a friend. Everybody was so happy. Mamma Mia, wouldn't it be wonderful if all the nations, they have a big parties and the hold the hands all around the world? Instead of making a bigger block of busters, they think how to make a bigger block of parties. Well, goodnight, Mamma Mia. Tonight, I'm asleep for good. You're loving your son, Luigi Pascoe, a little immigrant. Right with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is written by Max Benhoff and Lou Dermond and directed by Max Benhoff. J. Carol Masch is starred as Luigi Pascoe with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Connery as Schultz and Mary Ship as Misfolders. Music is under the direction of Lynn Merck. Now stay tuned for another session with a pace of the ignorant, which follows immediately over most of these same CBS stations. Bob Stevenson speaking. This is CBS, where 99 million people gather every week for Columbia Broadcasting System.