 Pack of Avalon cigarettes, please. Yes, sir. Oh, just a moment, sir. Don't forget your change. You never guess, but Avalon cost you less. So why not? Good evening. This is Del King saying, welcome to Avalon time, with greetings from Red Foley and the entire company. But first tonight, it's my pleasure to bring you an honest comedian if there ever was one. And I doubt it. Red Skelton. Thank you very much. And good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and Easter greetings to you. How are you tonight, Del? What's new? Oh, how about that $5 I loaned you after the program last week? Nothing new, eh, Del? Feel great tonight. Right after the show, I'm going to fly to Washington, DC. I have a lot of Easter eggs. I want to have color. And I'd like to get an estimate from the DICE committee. Oh. Speaking of Easter eggs, I have a Paul Parrot at home as asleep this afternoon. I walk over and put a big chocolate egg in his cage. And when he woke up, he looked at the egg and he says, it's alive. Oh, hello, microphone. Hey, where'd you get that suit? Oh, it's a William Roberts and Rockefeller. I didn't think it looked like a one-man job. Yeah. Hey, what's that bulge in the back? That's the tailoring. He's still working on it. We're seeing a hurry, because my back's killing me. I've been scrubbing and cleaning all day. Boy, you should see my knees. You can always tell when it's time for spring cleaning around our house. Mother starts by throwing out the Christmas tree. I didn't realize how dirty our house was until one of the neighbor's dogs came in and tried to bury a bone in our living room. I scrubbed that house from top to bottom, even washed the wallpaper. I'll hang it back up tomorrow. Oh, when I came to the Goldfish Bowl right by the window, I wanted all the neighbors to think I was a college graduate, so I ate them. Oh, not bad. I had a bet on that when they said it wouldn't get anything. Oh, I was cleaning out the, you know, when you clean house, you usually run across a lot of stuff that's been missing for a long time. I pulled down the window shade, and I found a pair of pants I've been pressing for three years. I was going through one of my old suits, and what do you think I found? My wife's brother. Boy, there's a lazy character for you, you know? But you know, lazy people are usually taken care of. He stood in one spot so long that a tree grew up and dropped an apple in his pocket. I made a little mistake while I was cleaning, though. I got the floor polish mixed up with a hair restore. Now, every time the maid brushes the floor, she has to part it in the middle. I always wanted a maid. She's not very efficient. I said to her, I can write my name in the dust on the piano. She said she can. Education's a marvelous thing, isn't it? She's been with us for three years, and she just found out there was a second floor to our apartment. She thought the stairway was for the old man to fall down every Saturday night. She's all right as maid's go, and as maid's go, she went. Look, when I got through cleaning the house, it was so much dirt in my vacuum cleaner, Walter Winchell made me an offer for it. That's enough dusting for me. Phil Davis and the boys will now dust off Honolulu from the picture of the same name. Picture of the same name. OK, Phil, once over lightly, boy. A long conversation with an Avalon cigarette. Oh, that's funny. Had a long conversation with an Avalon? Yeah, yeah. You all right, Peter? Oh, yes, sir, yes. You know, Red, I wouldn't mind being an Avalon cigarette. They really get around those Avalons. That's because they're highest quality, and still they cost three to five cents less than other popular price brands. Strange man. Makes sense, though. Tell me more about the conversation, Pete. Well, sir Red, you know, this Avalon cigarette I was speaking to was a fine fellow. Highest quality, and what a family background. On one side, he comes from choice Turkish tobacco, and on the other, from finest quality domestic tobacco. Gee, what a perfect bland, Red. That's why Avalons give you such a mild, extra smooth, thoroughly enjoyable smoke. Honestly, Red, you'd never guess they cost you less. Oh, no. You want to be an Avalon, huh? Oh, I know you must think it's sort of foolish of me, too, to have such high and mighty ambitions. But, well, I guess I'm just a dreamer. Oh, you're not now, Pete. Well, look, but, Red, just think of being wrapped up with 19 other swell Avalons in a nice, bright, red and silver package. Gee, they're going to wrap you up in something, Pete. But it ain't going to be a pack of Avalons. Hey, where did this conversation take place? In my dream. Oh, I know. Well, so naturally, when the alarm clock rang, can you blame me for hearing? Don't forget your change. You're all right, Peter. Just a little sleep happy. I'll see you later, Pete. OK, Scultman, meanwhile, buy a pack of Avalons and save the difference. OK. Here's the other Red on our program, friends, the boy who likes to sing the songs you request and the songs he thinks you like. Red's fully. Thank you, thank you, Della and Howdy, folks. For my first song tonight, I've selected the popular new ballad, Rainbow Ballet. A little introduction, please, Mr. Phil. Then may we get together. Bring you something stupendous, something colossal, in an anemic sort of way. Tonight, we offer you a special preview of one of the main attractions of the New York World Fair, Red Skelton's Flea Circus. Mr. Well, bring that box of fleas over here, will you? A fine job, playing nursemaid to a bunch of fleas. Well, you should talk. Last night, you were out dancing with a jitterbug. Well, at least he didn't try to make a free lunch out of me. Well, just because you don't like them now, handle them easier. It's awful temperamental. I forgot to feed them this morning. Did they get mad? Mad. They hopped all over me. Now, careful taking the lid off there. Hiya, Joy. Hiya, Phil. There you go. Isn't it cute? They're not cute to me. You like them in time. There's something about a flea that gets under your skin. They won't get under my skin. I've got flea powder in my compact. You wouldn't dare. Hey, how are you going to get to New York, anyhow? I don't know. I've been over the bank all day trying to borrow some money on my collateral. How'd you come out? On my collateral. She wishes you'd play ball with me and lend me some money. I've played ball with you so much, they were after me the day to join the big league. Come in. Hi, chattel. Prankily's opened the door for him. Well, what is this? I've had a terrible time, Mr. Skelton. Hey, get that animated ball of yarn out of here. Quiet, quiet, Sneaky. Sneaky? Oh, yes, you see, I call him Sneaky because he's got a sheepish look about him. Say, what is this? Something left over from an attack? Have I done something to you? Oh, no, no, Mr. Skelton. I know. He thinks he's little about teeth. Quiet, Cheezy. Well, what do you want to do with him, Mr. Skelton? What do I want to do with him? Well, isn't that what you told me to bring here tonight? I told you to bring some fleas. Oh, dear, I thought you said fleas. I'm going to have a flea circus at the World Fair. Yes, sir, all I need is a little dough to get there on. You got any? Could you lend me some? Perky? Lend you any money, Mr. Skelton? Why, I'm so broke, the man in the pawn shop hangs me in the window every night. But I wish you'd take me along as your trainer. Are you a trainer? Am I? You'll just give me a whip and a revolver and open that flea chain. I won't want to thank you to get ready, Harky. Well, all I have to do is button my coat and my trunks are packed. Back and ready to go just as soon as I get my mother's written permission. Come on, Cheezy, she'll kid you. Well, it looks like you and Hercules are going to start from scratch. Yeah, I've got everything from my circus to the tent. Haven't you got a tent? I got a tent. I got one that holds 75 people. It's not big enough. I want one that holds about 100. Maybe Phil will give me one of his own overcoats. I don't know what I'm worrying about money, though. I think I'll go over to Europe and grab me off a little republic and settle down. I'll see why you won't lend me some money to get to the World Fair. This will be the sensation of the fair. Yeah, but what can they do? Can they act? Can they act? You see this one? He used to be master of ceremonies at the Kennel Club. Oh, a high-class guy. High-class? Well, he won't even be seen with a dog that hasn't got a pedigree. You won't believe this, but in 1929, before the crash, that flea had three dogs of his own. What's that bun's doing at the miniature bar? At the miniature bar? I don't know. I guess they're drinking split cocktails. Get away from there when your boy's born. I'll get going. Get away from there. Hold on there. Hello? Hello, how do you feel today, Jack? I feel fine. Then I must have a wrong number. Oh, some goon trying to break the monotony. I bet it was that policeman boyfriend of yours. Have you seen him? Last night, I gave him a hug. Oh, taking the law in your own hands, eh? Oh, let's go. Here comes laughing, Jack. Well, Fibber McGee, I believe. My name's Red Skelton. That's funny. I thought I heard people laughing in here. I think I'll put this guy back in the trunk. Don't be silly. If you had a trunk, you'd take an add in radio guide. Only for the trade, only for the trade, I guess. Well, who do you think you are this week? I have a proposition to offer you, Mr. Skelton. I happen to be a flea circus impresario myself. Now, maybe we could combine both shows. Here are some photographs of my cast. This is my leading lady, Queen Float. She's the high diver. High diver? She any good? Oh, yes. She knows all the dives. Now, this one's China Clipper. China Clipper? Yes. He just made a non-stop hop from a Boston bull to a French poodle. And this lovely little lady, lovely little lady, is Miss Minsky. What does she do, a strip flea? Yes. Gee, Mr. Skelton's actress aren't that clever. How do you train them? Well, to begin with, you've got to know more than the flea. Oh, well, that lets you out, Skelton. Listen, I know twice as much as any flea. I mean, where are these clever canine mascots of yours? I have them right here in my vest pocket in this little box. Those aren't fleas. Those are dyspepsia tablets. Dyspepsia tablets? My, I could have sworn I took those right after dinner. I don't believe you ever had a flea, Sergius. Why'd you come in here for? Well, I have an Easter telegram for you. Oh, how do you know it's an Easter telegram? It was laid at the door by a bunny. Good night, Mr. Skelton. Who's the telegram from, Mr. Skelton? I don't know. Wait a minute. I'll open it to find out. Oh, it's from Grover Whalen. It's, uh, Dear Red. It's got a red spell, R-A-T. Dear Red, the only spot I have open for your flea circus is located right next to the dog show. Oh, that's swell. Well, I can't accept that. Why not? Well, wake up some morning and realize that my show has gone to the door. Here's Jeanette with a musical plea that is echoed by Sweet Hearts Everywhere. I want my share of love. Did you ever feel aglow just to find you didn't know what the glow is? You ever wanted to cry just to find your eyes were dry, and you've reached the point where high and low. Three to five cents less? I can afford to buy a higher priced cigarette. Well, folks, that's fine. But why should you? After all, it's quality you're buying, not price. Yes, you want true smoking satisfaction. You want the finest blend of Turkish and domestic tobaccos at the world of boards, a union-made cigarette. In fact, you want everything in your cigarettes that makes for the utmost in smoking pleasure. But when you can get all this in Avalons and still save three to five cents on every pack, it certainly shows good judgment to take advantage of it. And friends, that saving of three to five cents on every pack really means something. Remember, it's not the big things that throw the budget out of balance. It's the pennies you spend needlessly every day. Those pennies saved on every pack of cigarettes will amount to many, many dollars at the end of the year. Friends, why not follow the millions of value-wise cigarette smokers who have switched to Avalon cigarettes? Try a pack tonight. That's mighty good advice, Peter. And I'm sure many of our Avalon time friends will be glad to follow it. Now, I'd like to make a musical recommendation. Lend us your ears, folks, while Red Foley and the Avalon chorus sing Nick Kenny's latest hit, Little Skipper. It's time to sail for Blair. With your permission, I'd like to present a one-minute sneak preview from one of the scenes of my latest Warner Brother picture. OK, Dal. OK, Red. The place, somewhere on Highway 41, Red Skelton's car is stalled in front of a doctor, R.E. Lewis's private sanatorium. Skelton gets out of the car, walks up to the door of the sanatorium, and knocks. See, I better not try to act funny around here. These people will take me for a loom. Good afternoon. Oh, hello, nurse. I've, uh. What can I do for you? First aid or something? Oh, no. My, your fate is bad. Are you blushing, or is it sunburn? Oh, neither one. I hung my socks up last night, and I forgot to take them off. Are you the nurse in charge? Oh, no. The nurse in charge isn't here. But I'm the nurse in charge while she's off. Yeah. Can I help you? Well, I'd like to use the phone. You see, my car just had a breakdown and. Mental or nervous? And, uh, well, no. I think it's suffering with gas pains around the car, uh, carburetor. I like to call my mother in Vincenzo, Indiana, and tell her. Are you from Indiana? Yes, I am. Well, what a coincidence. I'm from Indiana, too. You are? What part? Kansas City, Missouri. Yeah. Funny thing, I either meet them this way or hungry. Say, I like your suit. You do? Especially those slimes. Especially those flaps on the pocket. Oh, you like those? Yes, patch pockets are nice. But I'm crazy about pockets with flaps. That's what's the matter with her. She's flap happy. Three o'clock. I wonder what time it is. It's the. Well, the clock just struck three. What's the matter, isn't it, right? Don't be silly. If it was right, it wouldn't be here. Yeah. What time is it by your watch? Well, if you'll loan me the phone for a couple of minutes, I'll call up the pawn shop and find out for you. You know, there's something familiar about you. Yes? Who are you anyway? Well, I'm Red Skelton. I'm a comedian. Oh, well, they'll soon take that out of you. I was late at Godiva when I first came here. You just heard a sneak preview from Red Skelton's new Warner Brothers picture. Will he make the phone call? Will he marry the girl? Will the picture be released? Who cares? Play with me. Remember, friends, when you ask for Avalon cigarettes. Don't forget your chain. Yes, Avalon cigarettes, dear friends, cost ever sense less than others. You too can save this difference like all of us Avalon brothers. Each pack is wrapped in cellophane. Each pack is union made. No wonder folks from coast to coast say, Avalon's different rate. So why not? Yes, you would never guess. But Avalon cost only $0.10 plus city or state tax. We'll be back with us again next Saturday night, same time. Good night, everybody. We'll see you through the National Broadcasting Company.