 Hey there, friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and we're back playing Beyond 2 Souls, which is an amazing game that I can wreak havoc in. I'm so glad you guys seem to enjoy it. God, this- this music is very... inspiring. My friends, thank you for joining me today in the cult and our one true mission. Stop that bitch, Kathleen! Yeah, if you're missing a bit of context, there was an NPC called- called Kathleen that we kinda choked down in the tutorial for- for no reason, but... She's our main nemesis. She's driving us. Alright, we're back to being a child, which is great because so far I've created a lot of chaos as a child. A lot of choking Kathleen and, um... tormenting teenagers. What am I supposed to fucking do? Am I supposed to sit? You could at least give me Chris Hanson to give me some guidance. Why don't you take a seat right over there? He's replacing Dr. Matthews. He's the one who's gonna be taking care of you from now on. Oh, this is where we meet William Dafoe, who will become William the Friend. I'm gonna look at your browsing history. He's like, no, he throws the computer off the desk. She's just gonna give it up on me. Oh, I couldn't just have a normal fucking daughter. I thought it would be a good idea for us to have a little chat, get to know each other a little better. Is he flirting with me? William Dafoe. Maybe you are Dafoe. William the Sick and Twisted. I flip on characters like that. Oh, I love Kathleen. You like it? Not really. You can have it if you want. Yes, I would like it. I was just kind of wondering why you had it out when it's not even Christmas, but you know what? I don't judge. This is a safe space. Why don't I take a seat right over here? My job is to study strange events and then try to explain them. Can you study like my entire YouTube channel, please? Because I can't even explain what I do at this point. The things that happen around you, right, Johnny? Wait, I don't know what he said. No. Is he a ghost? This game is so well acted. Like I'm really immersed in William Dafoe's acting, but then I'm just not giving him much to bounce off. I keep just shrugging every answer. I'm just like, oh my God, I thought that was a picture of me and my mom there on his desk. I was like, how did you get that? You creep. Wait, I can't draw him. Oh, that's not fun. What the hell is he going to look like? I'm actually kind of curious. I'm almost there. Okay. Just a few finishing touches and there. This thing is your friend. Do you like it? Can you tell him to do something? Oh no, he tells me to do things. All right. Yes, I'll do something. He just turns around. He's like, bring in Kathleen. She's like shaking, trying to get loose in one of those straight jackets. This is just fucking awkward. He's probably like, it takes a while to, you know, gather the strength. And I'm just like, no, I forgot the button. So I can't remember how to bring him out. Time to start destroying your office. He's like, oh wait, this is legit. I thought I was a quack. Jesus Christ. I don't know about this. I think I'm going to go back to being the green goblin. Okay. Well, it looks like I'm going to welcome to the CIA. I assume has like the four year old because we jump around in time a lot. But I'm assuming this is directly after that interview. It like turns into a happy go lucky sitcom. What happens when the new CIA agent is four years old? Find out next week on CBS. Oh my God. What the hell? Oh my God. I'm going straight to bootcamp. Jesus Christ. Do I have to do this? Come on. Holds keep up. If I have to do it, I'm not going to do it right. All right. I think even at this point, they'd say, look, you're just not cut out. You have zero coordination. Oh my God. She's going to die in bootcamp from feckin head trauma. What are all these people doing? Are they like backup dancers or something to make the scene more dramatic? Oh no. Don't go up there. You'll fall. Just go around. Hurry. Stop shouting at me. I don't perform well under pressure. And I don't perform well normally either. That's it, Holmes. Wait, is my name Holmes or are you just calling me Holmes? Because I just think that would make me feel cool. I'd like that. All right. Now combat training. And in the blue corner, call me Kevin. This fighter's professional record is zero and one. Their last fight being to a wooden pole, which they lost via KO. Oh my God. They're freaking out. Look, if a wooden pole beat me, I have no chance here. Is he just going to keep wailing on me as this guy shouts no? I'm about to bring my ghost trend out and murder the lot of you. Okay. At some point I would just die. Okay. I can't advance. I'm just going to have to dodge this one. They're like on the sixth try. She's not too bad actually. Oh, there she goes again. Okay. You didn't even let me get back up that time. Hold up. Give me a chance. Okay. All right. Maybe don't bother giving me a chance. Okay. That was a bit unfair. Like the guy's just holding pads for me. There's no need to kick him in the crotch. You see now I've pissed him off. He's just angry. Okay. If Disney has taught me anything, it's that I need some sort of musical montage right now to make myself competent. There we go. Thank you, Disney. Take them. Oh, great. Now I'm at the shooting path. I don't know if this is a good idea. I'm a little lost. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be. Clearly I'm incompetent. Wait, you didn't even check my test. How does he know it's excellent? He's like, you've finally got the ability to write age 21. Oh my God, this again? Really? You really want to do this again? No matter how much training we do, I will not be able to do this. I don't have the hand-eye coordination. Don't call me fat. I'm thick, okay? Oh my God, my arch enemy and I don't mean Kathleen. I just mean a wooden beam. That's the third time in a row that I've smacked my head off those things. Oh wait, I can heal her? What the hell? I'm starting to think they only want me because I have a magic imaginary friend who can heal me when I get hurt and not because of my abilities. They're like, God damn it. Why did the person with the powerful imaginary friend have to be a person who has no hand-eye coordination and can't read or write? And can't do a single sit-up apparently. I have to do so many tests. Like, I don't understand, why can't I use my magical ghosty friend and just fucking choke them all out? Wait, take down. Okay. What? Oh my God, imagine being this guy. Imagine your job was to be tormented by this girl and her ghost. That's not what I signed up for when I joined the army. Open fire. Just fucking kill me. You want to get shot? Yeah, really bad actually. I'm sick of these training exercises. This poor guy is like, oh, do we have to start again? He's like, oh, a barrel. I better go check. Oh no, look what's happened again. Bang. What? For fuck's sake. Just open fire, dude. Do we have to spend the whole fucking night here? Probably. Sorry, I'm not good at this. Like, if you wanted me to be competent, maybe you shouldn't have missed out on the vital training parts. Like, being able to walk without running into a wooden pole and shit like that. How do you expect me to be coordinated if I can't even do that? This poor dude's just like, please. I have a family. Stop it. Oh my god. Oh my god, he's going to have permanent head trauma. All right, I'm going to go check. Can I knock him out or something? Because they keep finding me. There we go. Yeah, just kill him. Snap his neck. Go on. That way, if we restart, then we're down one soldier, and it'll be a bit easier. See, I was just trying to sneak past them, but this game wants me to inflict maximum pain. Once again, punished for being such a nice guy. Oh great, I can just manipulate this guy entirely. Choke him out. Choke him out. There you go. This feels like cheating. Yeah, he's dead. You got beaten by a person who walks into wooden beams for a vast time. I just do it for fun, all right? Sure, it gets me head trauma, but it builds character. Me and 22% of people need a physical training. Was that to do with the game or are you just saying it? It might be some camera or something on the PlayStation that I'm not aware of. Okay, now I'm on a train somewhere. Well, it looks like that whole CIA thing didn't work out. Back off, Aiden. What? I haven't slept in like three days. Ah, you poor thing. But I want to play games. Throw the bottle at her. Come on. Yeah, wake up. I want to play games. I spy something beginning with T. It's the train, Jody. It's the train. Oh, what you reading? God damn it. I forgot I can't read. Good evening. Ma'am, return to your seat, please. I just immediately start leaving. That's not suspicious at all. That's her. That's her. Well, you didn't even see my face. I'm going to go back to them. I can explain this whole thing. Hold on. No, turn around. Turn around. Hold on. Jesus Christ. Is this train on rails? Or is it just driving straight over rocks? It's so wobbly. Or maybe Jody's just drunk. Yeah, she's drunk. I hope there are no wooden beams in my way. No, I'm not fighting. I just want to explain myself. Stop it, Jody. You're making things worse. Sorry, sir. I haven't gotten my train legs yet. I've been all over the place. Fucking hell. This is dark. Why do I feel like there's going to be Dementors on this train? I hit me. I don't care. Well, they caught me. The Dementors have got me now. You've got to get me out of here. I'll try. Hold on. I'll try and get you out. Let me see. Can I control you? Fantastic. All right. Now let's free the lady. What? Did he? Oh, okay. Hand it to the key. I was so confused. Thought they just changed their mind. Wait, where am I going? What is going on? Where are we exploring now? Am I going to take him for a nap? Or are we going to lock him in? Oh my God. No. We're just going to knock him out. Jesus Christ. That was brutal. At least they got plenty of experience about what can knock someone out from the army. Is this really the best way? You know what? We're going to do it. I thought you were going to consider this. I've made up my mind. I want to leave you now. You know what? No. You're in this alone. All right. You got yourself into this mess. I don't feel like helping you out right now. You wouldn't even play Ice Spy with me. She's just back and fell. Sorry about that. I feel a little bit bad. That's okay. We all make mistakes like you not playing Ice Spy with me. Okay. That's good to hear. I spy something beginning with tea. It's the trees, Jody. The trees. For fuck's sake. Helicopter dogs. I'd rather just get caught. I just want to turn myself in. Okay. Oh no. I've fallen trees. Basically just a really big wooden beam. I wonder if this is before or after my training. I don't think it matters either way. Oh my God. To be honest, if you were the people chasing her, you'd just feel bad and let her go. Like if I'm falling this much, I've fallen six times in the past 15 seconds. What are they doing? How many times are they falling? They're like, this girl is dangerous. She's only dangerous to herself. Suicide by tree branch. It's a hell of a way to go. Okay. I think we're all clear. We're not out of the woods yet. So we've got to be careful in case there's any more fallen trees. Oh God, Jody. I spiced something beginning with D. It's the dog, Jody, by the way. It's the dog that I spied. Oh, for fuck's sake. I don't think playing fetch with them is a good idea. Oh, we're going to hitting them. Okay. It's probably not a good idea either. YouTube commenters generally don't like when you hit dogs. God, how slower are those police? Jesus Christ. Between me running into every single tree in the forest and this fight and they still haven't caught up to me. Good thing those police dogs are afraid of rocks. Okay, I finally got away from them all but there's more just up on this bridge. Can we just choke them all out please? That would make it a lot easier. Oh, perfect. I can control this guy. Okay, this is a bad idea. But I'm going to go ahead with it. I've committed now. What the hell am I shooting at? Sorry, boss. I'm hunting. All right, let's get out of here. He's busy hunting. As long as he's not hunting me, I'm fine with it. Oh, really? You're making me control the bike? I can't even walk. Not on my right. What happens if I go off the road? Oh, it's not letting me. Okay, that's probably for the best. Do you realize this is me? They're just like, We got an obvious strong driver out here. Tell me to hit X. I don't know why, but I just don't want to. I'm just going to keep driving. Okay, it gave up. I wonder what that was for. Wait, I think one of them just disappeared. That's convenient. Wait, what am I doing? What am I supposed to do? Oh, wait. Oh, my God. Okay, well, I told you, you shouldn't be on a bike when you can't even fucking walk, okay? Is that a game over? Did I lose? Okay, they're making me redo it. Oh, no, no, they're not. I'm just caught. Okay, probably for the best. This is team leader. Drunk driving. We're going to let her off with a warning and take her home. Oh, my God. I can control someone in here. Let's do some more hunting. Oh, my God. This is a horrible idea, but... Oh, my God. Okay, folks, remember where we parked? I spy something beginning with F, Jody. And it's freedom. She's like, I didn't, I swear to God, shut up. Oh, my God. The bats, 19% got arrested on the train and 9% got arrested on the road. I wonder what the crossover there is. It's probably .1% got arrested in both. I somehow escaped in the forest and 24% of people didn't, even though I was running into every single tree. How did they fail that? Oh, the next one's my imaginary friend, but we are out of time. But if you want to see more of this, please do let me know. We can see where my imaginary friend came from. I'm very interested. I like the parts when I'm a kid more, I think. I can cause a bit more friendly chaos. You know, just like quirky stuff, like choking out Kathleen or throwing knives at teenagers, that kind of thing. Oh, my God. That's terrifying. All right. Okay. Let's just not pay attention to that. I'm going to have feckin nightmares. All right. I hope you feckin enjoyed the video. Stop screaming. I can't even hear and it's freaking me out. Yeah. I hope you enjoyed. Appreciate watching. If you want to see more, do let me know. And yeah, if you want to see more of me, I post every feckin day and I stream like five feckin times a week. I'm saying feckin a lot to try and impress you. But yeah, thank you very much for joining me. I hope to see you next time. But that's about it. Bye for now.