 والصلاة والسلام على سيدنا ونبينا محمد وأهل بيته الطيبين الطاهرين المأصومين وعلى الصفوة الخيرة من أصحابه المنتجبين ومن تبعهم بأحسان وإيمان إلى يوم الدين أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم وإذ قال إبراهيم ربج على هذا البلد آمنة وجنوبني وبنية أن نعبد الأصنام رب إنهن أضللنا كثيرا من الناس فمن تبعني فإنه مني ومن عصاني فإنك غفور رحيم صدق الله العلي العظيم لأجل هؤلاء الذين are fathers I extend my warm greetings and congratulations to you on Father's Day وبالتالي how many of you are fathers here raise your hand please let me see how many ما شاء الله and how many are going to be fathers soon inshallah within a few months few years yeah raise your hand let me say this how many of you love to be fathers yeah الحمد لله this is good so all of you inshallah are going to be good fathers responsible fathers islamic fathers the way that Allah wants you to be and fatherhood being a father is a big responsibility it's not just that you have a wife and you want to have some kids and enjoy some time with your kids it's much bigger than that fatherhood is a leadership position every father is a leader is a leader in his capacity and fatherhood has has several meanings in Islam number one father is a teacher every father is a nurturer مربي is a teacher is a guide to his family and therefore he has to act like a teacher his children they look at him as a nurturer he provides them with intellectual nurturance number one intellectual second he provides them with moral nurturance in his أخلاق in his behavior in his attitude inside the house outside the house and number three he's a social leader to social nurturer social trainer he teaches them the adams the manners at home outside the home he's teacher number one for his children second the father also is قدوة and أسوة are all models children learn أخلاق first at home that's the first station that's their first step because they are exposed to their parents they are close to their parents they look at their parents they watch their parents we the parents are under surveillance not by the FBI don't worry but by our children they look at us sometimes children they do not tell us that we are watching you but they do watch us so if we want our children to learn أمانة honesty we have to be honest at home and outside the home if we want our children to tell us the truth I know every father and every mother every single father and mother even those who are not religious even those who do not know God they want their children to be honest and to speak the truth no father no mother wants his son or his daughter to lie to them they want them to speak the truth so what do we do is there any special medicine tablet from pharmacy that we consume and they teach us teach us how to speak the truth truth is taught at home by the parents by the father and the mother they teach the children truth they teach the children صدق and honesty I've seen some children who are very young but they don't speak the truth and when you wonder why this is an innocent child then you get to know the family you discover the reason you discover the reason either both parents or one of them they don't speak the truth and children they watch them if we sit with our children and we lecture them times and times again about being truthful being honest being straightforward but when we violate that ourselves and they watch us our speech and our lecture would have no value whatsoever they look at us you know I have seen two types of families one family uses profanity at home always profanity bad language and I've seen some families that they never ever never ever no member in that family speaks bad language or profanity no member and when you examine you find that the parents are behind that the family that the kids always use bad words you look at the mother the mother is teaching them since they open their eyes the mother uses bad language and the father is using bad language and when you look at that family that the kids you know I have seen some some kids when they hear bad bad language they say wow what's this they get shocked believe me they get terrified terrified because they never heard this at home from their mothers and their fathers they never heard that this is their school we are our we are their first teachers the fathers and the mothers are the first teachers to their children so if we expect our children to use good language then we have to do that we have to perform that genuinely perform that at home right before their eyes they will learn from us أدب is taught by the parents at home we cannot expect a child to graduate from a family that misses the adab or lacks adab we cannot find that impossible even if you send your daughter your son to the best school in the nation they cannot teach them the adab the way the parents can teach and influence their children at home so we are role models look at Ibrahim A.S. وَإِذْقَالَ إِبْرَهِمُ رَبِّجْ عَلْهَا ذَلْ بَلَدَ آمِنَا this is his first dua when he landed in Mecca he said the first thing I asked before I asked for food or anything امن امن and abam peace stability because if you don't have a man you have nothing look at Muslim countries nowadays what is happening سكورs of refugees are fleeing their countries in North Africa from Egypt Libya Tunisia Yemen Syria Iraq Palestine wherever Sudan many of them they drown in the Mediterranean before they reach the European shores Italy and other countries they drown they take the risk and when they are asked why why do you risk your life they say we cannot stand dictatorship human rights violations we cannot stand being treated like subhumans or animals we are looking for a freedom we are looking for dignity so adab is taught at home and Ibrahim A.S. is saying امن the first thing I want peace امن make my community peaceful I can work I can focus I can study I can have children raise children if you don't have امن and sometimes my friends the امن the peace is physical material meaning there is no bombing there is no shelling there is no wars there is no fighter jets this is one the second امن is one the husband and the wife they get along well they cooperate together they understand each other they provide mental and spiritual امن tranquility and peace to their family this is sometimes more important in America we have many broken families not because we have bombing or airplanes above our heads but because there is no understanding and no harmony and no togetherness inside the family this is lacking therefore the kids they don't enjoy their life because their parents are fighting I have seen many kids run away from home they go far they go to the east coast they go to Europe you ask them why do you go to Europe you have the best schools in America it is as I know but I don't have the best teacher the best parents I am running away from my family from my parents I want to be away the far that I could be from my parents so we have to provide them this at home if the father is always quarrelling with his wife there is always fighting there is always disrespect we lose our children ربج على هذا البلد آمنا وجنوبني وبنية النعبود الأصنام then I want you to safeguard my my ideology to protect me against worshipping idols any false he was giving an example worshipping idols idol worshipping was one type but there are many types of deviant ideologies oh Allah protect me and my family because sometimes we have money we have good house we have electricity we have healthcare we have good education system but we don't have good we are moving in the wrong direction these things are good for the dunya but how about the after shouldn't we think about the after too so he was saying I need peace number one and number two I need protection shield me against ideological corruption and deviation وجنوبني وبنية النعبود الأصنام protect me and my family so number one the father is a guide at home provides guidance number two and he's a nurturer nurturer مربي مربي تربية nurturance second he's a role model he's a role model for his children and this is much greater role because the first one he gives lectures but in the second one he has to act upon these lectures he has to implement them he has to do exactly what he says for his children role model for his children teaching them the adab teaching them the akhlaq how to deal with others beginning in Islam these adab are written in books beginning from the way the table manners you sit on the table on the floor to eat to go to bed to wake up to greet others to walk to speak وعباد الرحمن الذين يمشون على الأرض they walk with humility وإذا خاطبهم الجهلون if they are attacked by someone ignorant خاطبهم الجهلون قالوا سلامة they don't engage in this gossiping or fighting especially among the community of the believers they stay away from that they stay away from that and believe me the more mature we get the more we going to discuss ideas not people when we speak how do you know this community is educated or not how do you examine them when you go to a community how do you examine them that they have good level of education or they don't have education by looking at their discourse at their conversation if they only speak about people who landed this and landed that and this lady this and this man that and this this means that they have low level of education or no education but if they discuss ideas and thoughts then this means that they have good level of education they understand and they are debating this is intellectual debate Islam invite us always to have intellectual debate to cut back on the amount of people's life who did what الله says to stay away from that this is the discourse of Jahilin stay away from that stay away there is no benefit in discussing people's life believe me there is no benefit in that sometimes the hadith says ignorance in one time is good in one time in one area when you don't know anything about people it's good because if you want to know everything about people you end up with no friends because there is no perfect person on earth so it's better not to know about people so the second role for him is is a role model and then and I mentioned the third role for him or responsibility is that he encourages his children to study a father should love education but not just for himself for his family too he has to go after his children one by one constantly encouraging them to study making it easier for them to go to school some parents unfortunately they create obstacles they make education nightmare for their children oh don't go to school you are 20 years old you have to come with me and work you have to do I need you they say there was a farmer in one of the villages who had only one son and he wanted his son to go to school but the son was lazy he didn't want to go to school the son would say I would come and help you in the fall the father says to him no I don't want you to come with me and you know help me in the fall I want you to go to school so the father was saving some money to send his son to school when the money reached certain amount the father said to his son now I want you to go to school I have enough money for you you don't have to worry about the tuition the son was arguing with his father that no I have a better idea than me going to school I think go and buy a donkey with this money let's say you have $100 let's say $1000 buy a donkey with this money to help you in the fall the father would tell him no no I want to send you to school it's much more rewarding so the son was angry he said to him what's wrong with that you go and buy a donkey with this and leave me alone the father said you know what's wrong with that in that case we're going to have two donkeys at home the donkey that we buy and the second one you if you don't go to school so the father has a responsibility of sending his son to school and being a role model telling him look at me I'm still a student here sometimes unfortunately some fathers who have not gone to school it's not their fault maybe they did not live in a society that encouraged them or in a household that encouraged them to go to school but now they are insisting on their children to go to school sometimes you find parents who did not go to school but they have good enough experience about their life enough experience because the experience does not come only from school some the life they tell us philosophers they tell us this life is a big school and we are students so we learn from this too so there is nothing wrong with a father who has not been to a school in the past encouraging or wanting his children to go to school today and then he has to make it easy for them make it easy for them to go sometimes he has to pay from his own pocket I know many concerned parents who save their money they don't go on a vacation they don't have much spending they save this money penny by penny so they can send their children to good schools that's a responsible father that's a responsible mother this is the good thing that you are doing for yourself and your children and your society at large we have three types of fathers one of them one of them says is a scholar he is good when it comes to to give guidance to teach his children to show them the way but when it comes to the material side he has no money to offer them he says I offer you manners العلم ، المعارض ، المعارض ، و when it comes to the material side I'm not well off. I don't have enough money to provide you. There is another type of fatherhood. أبوة أو father who only provides money but not guidance. Which is not good. Some parents they think that his only responsibility is to pay for his children. But he would never sit with them, he would never speak to them, he would never counsel them, he would never spend time with them, he would not even see them. The father is the last one to know about his children. This is very dangerous. It has very detrimental consequences on the family. I mentioned this story so many years here before. There was a child who missed his father. The father is always busy, busy, busy. And the child goes to bed without seeing his father. The father comes home late. And then in the morning the mother takes the child to the school and he doesn't see his father. But he missed his father. So he kept sending messages to his father, I really want to see you, I want to spend time with you. And the father's answer, I'm busy. I'm busy with work. I'm busy with my office. So one day he asked his mother how much my daddy make per hour. She said he makes $50. So he started saving money. One day the father came home. This is a very telling story. So he did not go to bed. The child did not go to bed. He was waiting for his father to come back home. Once he opened the door, he went to him. He said, Daddy, this is $50. I want you to spend one hour with me tonight. They need you. They really need you at this age. Don't think that a good house, good transportation, good food, clothing is enough. They need you and your time, not just your money. Sometimes your time is much more important than your money. Sometimes some of your children, they make more money than you do. So they don't need your money. They need you. They need your friendship. They need to be with them. They need your guidance. They need your stories. You are a source of inspiration. So do not put your job above your family. This is a crime. Then you're going to pay a heavy price later. Don't do that. You're going to regret where there is no room for fixing it or for reforms. Try to divide your time between work and family. Some people, they don't go to work. Always they are with the family. This is not good. Neither only being occupied completely by your work and neglecting your family. Neither are good. Divide your time. Believe me, I know many people in many states and in many countries that they focused only on work. Seven days a week, including Sunday. I was quarrelling with one of them the other day. I said to him, stop. Allah has given you money. You have a surplus of money. You don't know what to do with your money. You are losing your children, losing your family. And your wife is complaining. She doesn't see you. Money, money, money. For what? And then you lose this money and you lose your family. And after that you lose your money too. And he was losing his health too. The story of many Israel when Allah said to them Work six days a week. Leave Saturday for your family. But they did not listen. Even on Saturdays they would go to work. So this is the second type. The first type. The first example of a father who does not have money. He does not have material support. He has intellectual and moral support, which is good. The second type is only material support. But he is not present. And the third type is the disaster. Neither moral support nor material. Nothing. He is completely absent. Neither he gives advice or guidance or love. Nor he gives any single pen. And this is what the hadith says about him. The hadith that I said two nights ago. ملعون ملعون منضيع من يعول. He is very cursed. He is away from God's mercy and God's love. The father who neglects his family. The father who neglects his family. So one of his responsibilities is to encourage them to study. To go to school. To graduate. To help them. To support them. After supporting them for education. There is another type of support which is equally necessary after education. What is it? I mentioned part of it last night. Exactly. Supporting them and encouraging them to get married. Some of our children are hesitant. Afraid of getting married. Because of some reasons. Some of our children they don't get married. Because of the amount of divorce they see around them. In the family and outside the family. They develop phobia against marriage. He tells you look at my uncle. Look at my brother. Look at my cousin. Look at my father. They are all divorced. I remember 30 years ago. I went to London to study language. And our teacher was a Scottish teacher. So I asked her how many kids she has. She said kids I don't have a husband. What are you talking about? I said why? She said because 7 people in my family are divorced. I don't want to be number 8. But it is not the same. You keep your good marriage. Healthy marriage. Do your duty. Be responsible. You don't get divorced. You don't get divorced. Divorce is not something that predestined upon us. From heaven. From God. God says I want this guy to divorce his wife. And that guy to enjoy his marriage. He would never say that. It's up to us. It's up to us. It's up to the husband and the wife both. Believe me. It's in their control. It's in their control. Be less selfish. More sacrificing. More forgiving. Two hours ago we had a wedding here. And the bride was Catholic. And she converted to Islam. So I was telling her about marriage in Islam. And I said to her. I said to her. One of the most important ingredients of marriage is forgiveness. When we finished the nikah, the act we did, the act for her. She was leaving. She said. Imam you know. This is much what you did today. It's much better than our Catholic priest in the church do. You spoke truly about marriage. About safe marriage. Healthy marriage. This is true. Marriage in Islam. Marriage in Islam is based on forgiveness. Because the husband and the wife are teachers and students at the same time. Teachers, they teach each other. Students, they listen and obey and respect each other. It's a school. If you treat the family as a school. Your marriage is going to survive for 50, 60, 70 years. And you're going to get even better and better and closer to your wife. To your husband. Day by day and hour by hour. But if you don't believe in this. If you turn the family into an institution of retaliation. A war zone. Then of course your marriage is not going to survive. Even if you have a lot of money. Money would not help you. What is important in the marriage is akhlaq and forgiveness. If the father also should encourage his children to get married. And also if the father is concerned about the future of his children's marriage. He should treat his wife well. If we don't want our children to get divorced. Then we have to treat our wives very well. At home. We have to show them. Do you see the walk through? Walk through what they call it. When you buy the house. The last thing the agent comes. What they call it. The walk through. We have to do exactly the walk through. Marriage for our children. Inside our families. We have to show them. Literally show them that. This is the way you treat your wife. At home. It's not just books. Some people, some parents they buy books. They tell their kids read these books about marriage. Which is good. What is more important than a book. Is you and your wife. Your example. That you provide. So this is his. Responsibility. And the Quran says. To the fathers. To the husbands. About marriage. In regards to their wives. He says. وعاشروهن بالمعروف. وعاشروهن بالمعروف. Deal with them. With kindness. إحسان. معروف. Halsanness. Forgiveness. Because you are a teacher. And if the teacher imagine. Like our teachers back home. 50 years ago. He comes in the morning without coffee. Without a breakfast. And he's angry. Mashallah. From the first hour he's angry. He would lose his children. He would lose his students. The father is a teacher. He should control his anger. He should treat his family well. He will see the results. He will see the results. Believe me. He will see the results. When you treat people well. You know most of you go to restaurants. Don't you? And some of you give tips. And sometimes you decide to give. $2 as a tip. Or $5 or $10. But you end up paying $20. $30. I read an article in the LA Times. A month ago. A man went to a restaurant. His meal cost $28. He left $3,028. And he wrote on the receipt of his credit card. The $28 for the food. And $3,000 a tip. For this gentleman. $3,000. Go on Google it. You find it in the LA Times. $3,000. Because he loved the way that the waiter or whatever. Acted. He loved the way he acted. You get impressed. So when you do something good you see the result. You see the material result. Allah says there is something bigger than this material result. I am saving it for you there. Sometimes your goodness, your forgiveness goes. And noticed by people. But it would never go unnoticed by Allah. It would never go unnoticed. Allah will record that for you. Allah will reward you with a bigger, much bigger tip. So that is his other responsibility. And last but not least. The father also. Shoot at the time of the tragedies. Every family. Every single family. Experiences at some time of their life. With afflictions. With misfortune. With loss. With a tragedy. Financial. Physical. Whatever. And they need support. They need someone to talk to. They need someone to look up to. And that person is the father. He has to be a leader there. He has to teach them patience. When your son, your daughter they come to you. They are depressed. They have a problem at the school. In the community. You should not collapse. Some mothers. Some fathers. They start crying. They scare them more. They run away. You have to be strong. You have to tell them. Listen. This is life. This is something very, very normal in this life. In life you have good days and bad days. In life you have people who love you. Who cherish you. Who respect you. And you have people who hate you. Who are jealous of you. In life you have one day a success. The other day is a failure. This is life. You should not lose yourself. So the father should be the source of inspiration. The source of strength. The source of faith. To connect his family with Allah. Imam Hussein at the last minute. When he saw his family. And he was about to go to the battlefield. Only women. No men. No men were killed. And they were distraught. They were weeping. Screaming. Oh you father Abdullah. You are leaving us? Imam Hussein said a few sentences. He infested them with. Induced them with strength. With courage. With faith. He said yes. I am going there. But Allah is there. Allah is not going away. And Allah is not going away. And Allah is not going away. And Allah is not going away. And Allah is not going away. And Allah is not going away. And Allah is there to protect you. To guide you. To maintain you. It's not me. I'm a human being. I must go one day. Allah is there. So connect your family to Allah. Tell them one day I'm here to support you. Tomorrow you might not see me. But that does not mean it's the end of the life. Allah is there. Connect with Allah. Again my congratulations to all the fathers. In our community and elsewhere. And we pray that إن شاء الله. They become more beautiful to their families. To their children. To their sons. To their daughters. And to build stronger and healthier families. إن شاء الله تعالى. اللهم اخفر المؤمنين والمؤمنات. والمسلمين والمسلمات. الأحياء منهم والأموات. تابع اللهم بيننا. وبينهم بالخيرات. إنك مجيب والدعوات. إنك غافر الخطيئات. تقبل مننا صلاتنا والصيامنا. ودعاءنا في هذا الشهر العظيم. Please pray for those who are reflected in Yemen. In Syria. In Iraq. And other places. Other countries. Please pray for them during the nights and the days of this beautiful month. وعجل في فرج سيدنا. ومولانا صاحب العصري والزمان. وإلى أرواح المؤمن والمؤمنات. تواب الفاتح مع الصلاة على محمد وآل محمد.