 If the GM can't lift all the Gerbs books needed to run my character, he's vetoed. The 10-foot pole on the Stardia Equipment List cannot support the weight of an exotic dancer. Scorched Earth Day is not a holiday, even in Cyberpunk. Nothing in Victoria's Secret Catalog is available in Dragkinesian. Even if they are better in combat according to character generation, the United States Marine Corps frowns on octogenarians in front-line combat. No amount of background will allow me to name the character Biff Buttoms. State trippers are immune to the effects of the delirium, so I need to find another way out of that speeding ticket. No matter how well I make my fashion roll, the Emperor is not going to the ball dressed in a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform. Everybody was not gun-foo fighting. Even if my character is Canadian, that doesn't mean he can take a 1.524 meter free step. I will pick my character's girlfriend based on something more than how much fire support she can provide. I will not one-shot an Isen first. The plan will not continue until the GM finds out who Zantabek is. I will do nothing that tarnishes Hello Kitty's memory. Gravity-defying breasts while impressive do not count as a superpower. Even if my character is orthodox Jewish, I will check other characters' poles before trying to bury them. A NASCAR pit crew cannot repair all my vehicles damaged in one round. My character will refrain from appearing with Hitler in any history books, especially if I am chasing him with a wheat thresher. Fauner-Pawson's boy toy is not technically a position at court. I will only use the modules suggested tactics to stop the ground assault and ignore the squadron of Wild Wings 100 meters away. There is no such thing as a ballistic ram. I will not accuse the Traveler News Service of liberal bias. The Ewok does not appreciate the giant hamster wheel we put in his quarters, ingrate. I will not spend my entire mustard bonus on lottery tickets. If another player took the disadvantaged stutters, I can't take a crie. Black and Decker do not make droids, either. I will not blow all my points in extra limb just so I can play the superhero millipede man. Just because the great race of yes effects of sanity is minimal doesn't mean I should invite them over for dinner with the folks. The very concept of a hut lap dancer will earn me a dark side point. The M203 is not for long range bokeh ball. Getting someone to spot for me is not going to give me a bonus on a strength check. I will not heck somebody into looking like a pinata, especially in Mexico City. Instead of silence is required for the entire adventure, we are not naming the black ops operation Mime Crime. I will tell the noob the game is about post nuclear Europe and not love struck vampire before we start. You cannot tell if somebody is a power gamer by the faint smell of Gouda. I cannot fill a buster in the middle of my dying speech to buy the cleric more time. Even if we are told to pick a manly name for the game, genocyticals is a bit much. Not lure the bastard into an ambush by turning on the can opener. Jack LaLaine, wrong type of juicer. If unsure of what side of the road we drive on, the middle of the road is not a healthy compromise. Brute squads make poor bridesmaids, the reverse is not necessarily true. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot become famous for not becoming famous. There is no God of Wombats no matter how much I pray. If I have to explain to the Halfland sister while we dress him like a raccoon, we are all in trouble. No matter how cool it would be, we can't use the time machine to loan Ike a few A-10 squadrons for D-Day. I don't get a drama die just because of the GMPs. I will not waste wishes on professional sporting events. Hooking up with the gamer chick the storyteller with Anglin Ford gets me banned from the game. When attempting to lure the giant to sleep with a bardic lullaby, I will leave out the lyric so we can kill you. I will not program the medical droid for aggressive dentistry. I will not dare the wage mage into trying to summon a class 20 spirit. Guardian mode is not just for flipping people the bird in the middle of battle. Even when we are issued a nuke, I am not allowed to touch it. I will stop trying to get a reality TV show for our Black Ops team. They are not going to stall 10,000 Eurikai with a fake toll booth. Pointing out the massive plot hole in the villain's plan is not going to stop her from attacking. Before we start, let's make sure whether everybody blows up if I shoot a shield with a last gun. Preliminary saturation carpet bombing does not automatically plan A. Even if I only get to swing a sword once per minute, I can't stop the smoke between attacks. I can't call my gun by a stupid nickname, even if it's the ones the game suggested. Wood chippers while useful aren't normal gear for a Black Ops. I will not tell the new players gelatinous cubes come in a variety of yummy flavors. The cleric is not tax exempt. No matter how much fun we are not retrofitting a tank with jump jets. I cannot mint my own currency. Just because they make a miniature without ability doesn't mean I can take that ability. I will not use the mass suggestion spell to make the elf babes to make out. Gnomes are not nature's tripods. Dwarves do not groom themselves like cats or baboons. Elves do too have nipples. Halflings are not to be used as currency. Bidgeo leans into pitch not a real kung fu maneuver. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot have a monofilament sledgehammer. If we can't fit the droid in the freighter, I can't play him. No matter how well I make the animal handling role, I can't break in a juggernaut of corn. Setting jawless on fire with a magnifying glass is an automatic dark side point. Motorcycle tires will cause aggravated wounds on a case by case basis. No feed affects hang time. We will limit the total amount of conversation on the topic of hot gnome on gnome action. I will not threaten to glue the old rules for gnomes over the new rules for elves mock too. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot disarm someone a melee with a longbow. I will not just dump the vampire in the umbra and call it a day. Growing a grotee will not give me a bonus for sneaking into the villain's lair. Portable plot hole is not a real magic item. I will not start a Ponzi scheme involving the entire party. Even if I couldn't attend a session when everything went to hell, it's still my fault. The Stanley Cup does not have the same power as the Holy Grail, even on Canadians. The MMORPG Convert doesn't actually have to role play in its first game. Characters wanting to join the party do not have to undergo the Flash Gordon Tree Monster Ceremony. I cannot have a pal and Gwen in my starting gear. Having a reputation for having a reputation does not grant me more reputation. I will quit hogging the legend chips. No digging out the boards of my character and reusing them. No using the grapple rules to change the course of history. I will not take on the entire dungeon using only one body part to attack. Eldar really hate it when you greet them with live long and prosper. No matter his condition, we aren't selling the villain's corpse as modern art. Count on a backup villain if we ace the first one in two rounds without damage. I will not give my preteen kids my work number, especially women of black ops. The monkey grip feet doesn't have anything to do with gripping monkeys.