 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. We say one and only because there just isn't any other salad dressing like Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip is different and it tastes different. Miracle Whip tastes so good it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created. More Miracle Whip is sold than the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Try it. Make your salads better tasting with the one and only Miracle Whip. Well, it's a mild morning in May in the town of Summerfield and the Great Gilded Sleeve is in no hurry to get to the office. Ian and his nephew Leroy have inspected the daffodils, checked the three little blue eggs in the nest in the rose trellis and are making their way back to the house in the dewy grass. Hmm, beautiful morning, Leroy. Yeah. Spring is here. Spring sprung a month ago. Well, I'm just beginning to enjoy it. Look at this lawn, my boy. You'll have to get after it. Grass is getting pretty high. It's as long as your hair. Yeah. Why don't we take it down to Floyd's barber shop and get a clip? Yes, yes. Hey, there's Bronco. Just leave in the house. Oh, goodbye, Mars. Goodbye, darling. Quite a couple. Call me when you have a moment at the office. Okay, honey. And hurry home. I will. Why does he even bother to leave? No, Leroy. Oh, hello, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. Good morning, Bronco. Hi, Leroy. Hi. Mr. Gilded Sleeve, may I have a word with you, please? You bet. What is it? If you don't mind, let's step into the house. You all right? Come in, my boy. But why all the mystery? Well, the 10th of May is coming up, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. I get it. You want to borrow some money? No, Leroy. I want to spend some. Say, the 10th of May. It's your wedding anniversary, isn't it, Bronco? Yeah, you're not just whistling, Dixie. Well, good morning, Mr. Bronco. Oh, hello, Bertie. Malcolm, come over to talk about the wedding anniversary, Bertie. Ain't that nice? How's Miss Margie? Oh, fine. And we want all of you over for an anniversary dinner, huh? Yeah. I only have one problem, though. No food? Leroy? Don't you worry about that, Leroy. Bertie's going to be cutting up in the kitchen. Yeah. My problem's what to give Marge on her anniversary. Oh? Mr. Gilded Sleeve, I wonder if you'll take the time to go over and tactfully find out what she'd like. Well, I'll be glad to, Bronco. Are you on a surprise? Is that the idea? Yeah, that's right. I've been knocking myself out trying to think of something. Well, you just leave everything to me. Oh, thank you, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. Let me know as soon as you can. Yeah, I'll take care of it right away. Goodbye, Bronco. Goodbye, everybody. Bye. I don't want to see Marge before you go to the office, son. No, Leroy, I have to give this some thought. I'm not going to take this assignment lightly. Yeah, let me see. What would Margie like? Why don't you go over and find out? Quietly, Leroy, I'm thinking. She has a cedar chest. Do you have any ideas, Birdie? Birdie wouldn't take it on herself to select Miss Margie's anniversary present. Why don't you go over there and get a clue? Well, Bronco wants this to be a surprise. How can she be more surprised than if I don't even ask her what she wants? Oh, brother. Besides, let's remember that I raised Margie. Who knows better than I what she would like? Margie? Leroy. Let's not tell me how to run somebody else's affairs. Okay, what a character. Yes, sir. This is much better than going over to Margery's and fishing for ideas. Well, I practically tell her what she's going to get. I wonder if Pee-Vee has anything she might like. Hello, Pee-Vee. Yeah, hello, Mr. Yellowsleeve. What can I do for you this morning? Well, I just want to look around, Pee-Vee. Yeah, I can't charge you for that. I'm looking for a little anniversary present for Bronco to give Margery. Very well. Pretty important, Pee-Vee. Bronco turned everything over to me. You're going to pay for it, too? No. I'm just going to pick out something for her. Isn't it a good idea to remember wedding anniversary? You bet. Last year, I forgot to give Mrs. Pee-Vee something, and I was embarrassed when she gave me something. Oh, what did she give you? She gave me a balling out when not giving her anything. Oh, my goodness. Sorry, Pee-Vee. It was my own fault. How I could ever forget today I married Mrs. Pee-Vee. I'll never know. No, Pee-Vee. I'll bet it was one of the happiest days of your life. No, I wouldn't say that. What? It was a terrible day. When we left the Parsons, it was snowing. The road was icy. The horse jumped the traces. A wheel came off the buckboard and dumped Mrs. Pee-Vee in my lap before I even carried her across the threshold. And you forgot that? That was many years ago. Now, what are we going to do about marjorie? I don't see anything in here. I'm afraid I don't have much that would be suitable for marjorie's anniversary. Has she dropped any hints? Last Christmas, she suggested I give her something for the house. How did she like that? Great. Bronco says she talks about it all the time. You don't say. Yeah, let's see. There's plenty of lamps and tables. I need something unusual. I don't say. Marjorie always admired that grandfather's clock of judge hookers. That's unusual. As I recall, the judge has been using it for a platter. Yeah. Only clock I know that uses ivy for hands. Now, Pee-Vee, it works. Marjorie would be fascinated with it. What do you think? It might keep good time if she doesn't forget the water. Yes, yes. I wonder if Bronco is in his office. Bronco! Come in. Bronco, your worries are over. I know exactly what Marjorie wants for her anniversary. Oh, wonderful. What does she want? You know that old grandfather's clock judge hooker hands? Yeah. What does she want? That's it. Well, it's a good thing I called you in on this, Mr. Gildersleeve. I never would have thought of that clock. Sure, for years. Every time we've gone to judge hookers for dinner, Marjorie's admired that clock. Well, live and learn. What else can I buy for Marjorie? What do you mean? Well, I'd plan to spend about $20, and that clock couldn't cost that much. Bronco, I'll be lucky if I get it for $20. They say the judge turned down $30 from the colonial daughters of America. Oh, well, did George Washington sleep in it? Bronco, just give me the $20. Well, you're in luck, Leroy. I see the judge is home. Do I? I want you to help me carry the clock to our house. What if the judge won't sell it? You just watch me, my boy. I'll give you a lesson in bargaining. I know how to clip the old goat. Well, Gildersleeve, come in. Thank you, judge. Hi. I'm honored to have you, but to what am I indebted for this visit? Oh, no particular reason, Horace. I just dropped into chat with an old friend. I thought you came to buy... Leroy. Let me do the chatting. Well, I'm not of the school the teacher's little boy should be seen and not heard. What do we talk about, Leroy? Askunk. Uh, judge, I just noticed your old clock over there. When are you going to get rid of it? Gilder, that's an heirloom. By the way, it needs winding. I only say this to a good friend, judge, but it dates you. You should get rid of it. Oh, Balderdash. Leroy, would you like to wind it? Sure. How do I do it? Just grab the chain and yank like ringing a bell. Okay. Well done, Leroy. Now it's wound until the weight works up to the top again. That's me. This isn't a bad old clock, Aunt. Well, what good is a clock if it doesn't keep time? Look, it's three o'clock and it only struck twice. Oh, my goodness. Judge, what do you take for it? I'll give you $20. No. Why should I sell it to you? Ah, come on, Aunt. We'll get something else from Marge. Well... Do you want the clock for Margery? Well, it's Bronco and Margery's wedding anniversary, judge, and she always admired it. Well... It's Bronco who wants to give her the clock, Horace. I'm just handling it for her. Well, if Bronco wants to present it to his lady fair, I'll sell it. Good, judge. I recall the day they were wed. A lovely young couple exchanging their vows at high noon. Shall we take the clock out the front way? Margery and White coming down the aisle, Bronco and Blue standing at the altar. Oh, promise me that someday you and I... Give him the 20 bucks, Uncle. Let's get out of here. You open the hall closet door, Bertie. We'll put it in there. Yes, sir. Now, let it down easily, Roy. We'll stand it in the corner. Okay. Quiet clock. Yeah, there we are. Isn't that a beauty, Bertie? Yes, sir. Playin' a trick on somebody, Miss Gil, please. Bertie, this is Margery's anniversary present from Bronco. You spoofed him. I thought he was kiddin' too. Nonsense. I happen to know this is just what Margery wants. Let's close the closet door, Bertie. She should drop in. I don't want her to see it. Yes, sir. But if she comes anywhere near the house, she'll hear it tickin'. She'll think it's a bomb and run back home. All right, have your fun. I think I'll go over to Margery's and let her know she's in for a surprise. Yes, sir. She'll be delighted with the clock. Of course, I'll have to be careful if she doesn't guess what she's getting. Well, there's Margery's on the front porch. Margery! No, I was just about to come over. Oh? Getting everything ready for your anniversary tomorrow? Isn't it exciting? Yeah. Let's sit down here in the steps and talk about it. Oh, good. Give me a chance to rest a minute. By the way, I suppose you're wondering what Bronco is going to give you. Well, I try not to think about it. Good girl. I imagine it's hard not to think about, though. Uh-huh. What have you thought about? Well, it could be a dressing gown. It could be a little pearl necklace. Oh, you're way off. Oh? I happen to know what you're getting, but don't try to pry it out of me. All right, Anki, I won't. Aren't you interested? Well... Bronco and I put a lot of thought to this. Oh, he talked it over with you? Talked it over. I'm the one who picked it out. You're just dying to give me a hint, aren't you? Well, no, but now that you asked for one, what is it that has a face, two hands, and is all wound up? Is it a wristwatch? You couldn't wear this one on your wrist. I could hardly carry it on my back. Imagine when we all go to Judge Hooker's for chicken fricassee. What do you want most? To go back home? Well, Marjorie, let's not be facetious. If you must know, I'm talking about that grandfather's clock of his. You mean Bronco is getting me something like that? Well, you always tell the judge how much you like it. I don't want to hurt his feelings. What else can I say when he points out his relics? You wouldn't really like it? Anki, it doesn't go with my furniture. You say you picked out my gift? Well... You decided what Bronco should give me? Well... Somebody asked me for suggestions. Marjorie, I wouldn't be that obvious. Well, if Bronco shows up with Judge Hooker's old clock on my wedding anniversary... Wait a minute, wait a minute, Marjorie. I didn't say that was it. Surely you don't think I'm silly enough to pick up Judge Hooker's old clock. Oh, I wonder who opened the closet door. The grave-gilless leave will be back in just a minute. A pretty new bride named Lillie was cooking a meal for her willy. Things got burned just to shade, but the salad she made with Miracle Whip was a dilly. Well, that may not be great poetry, but it's a great idea making a salad with Miracle Whip. Because even if you're not the world's most experienced cook, you can still be sure the salad will taste wonderful. 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For colorful fruit salads, for crispy fresh vegetable combinations, for shimmering gelatin molds, and for meat and seafood salads too, there's nothing like smooth, delicious Miracle Whip. Well, Bronco asked the great Gilda Sleeve to find out what Marjorie wanted for an anniversary present. Of course, if he had consulted his niece, he wouldn't have ended up with an old grandfather's clock. Oh, how do I get into these things? You jump into them. Well, I thought she'd like the clock. You should have asked her. Birdie and I told her you were making a mistake. Yeah, I know. But you wouldn't take our advice. Yes, yes. Leera, this ain't no calamity for Mr. Gilda Sleeve. It isn't? No, sir. I've seen you dig deeper holes in this for yourself and crawl out. Well, I'm not particularly concerned. I'll just go to Bronco and explain things. How? Well, I'll just go to him and tell him, I'll say Bronco. Yeah? Yeah, I'll say... Well, like Birdie says, I've crawled out of deeper holes in this. You're crawling all right. At least I found out one thing. I found something she doesn't want. You're all right, Birdie. What if that's Bronco, wonk? I hope not. Good afternoon, Birdie. Isn't it, Judge? Come in. Hey, it's Judge Hooker. Yeah, you've got some explaining to do to him, haven't you? Mr. Gillespie, it's Judge. Hello, Gilda. Leeroy. Hi. Hello, Judge. I thought I'd stop by and see if you got here safely with the clock. Yes, we made it, Judge. I'll be sure that you knew what kind of plant food the clock uses. Plant food? You got to feed that thing? Plant food for the vines, Birdie. Yes. Birdie's seen clocks you have to wind, and clocks run by electricity, but Birdie never saw a clock you have to feed. It does have its hubris aspects, doesn't it? It doesn't do so. Gilda, when you take the clock to Marjorie, take along this package of peat moss and mix in a tablespoon full... Judge, about the clock. Yeah? You'll be happy to know you're going to get it back. What? Marge doesn't want it. Leeroy. It doesn't, Gilda? Well, it seems it doesn't fit in with their house furnishings. That's quite true. And while I'd be happy for Marjorie to have it, I'll be equally happy to have it back. Good. There it goes. The best clock I ever owned. It's kept almost perfect time for 30 years. Five o'clock, right on the nose. Why, you... Five o'clock, you say, Judge? Gilda, what have you done to my clock? Nothing, Horace. It keeps striking. It's out of whack. I was very careful bringing it home, Judge. Yeah, he didn't even kick it when he dropped it on his toe. He dropped it. Why, Gilda? You watch it, Judge. Put down that bag of peat moss. Well, Marjorie's upset. The judge is upset. Now I have to go back and face Bronco. Yeah, I'll just tell him that luckily I learned she changed her mind. I don't have to tell him the clock never entered her mind. Gilda's leave you pretty foxy. Come in. Hello, Bronco, my boy. Oh, hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. I was just about to phone you to see if you have everything set. Well... Did you get the clock? Yes, I got it. Mr. Gildersleeve, you're a genius. I knew I could depend on you to find the perfect gift for Marge without her even suspecting what you were up to. Well, the situation has changed slightly since I last talked to you. Oh. Marjorie doesn't want the clock. Well, how do you know she doesn't? I found out. Bronco, you know how women are. How are they? Well, they've changed their minds. After I went to all the trouble of buying the clock and went over to tell her... You told her what I was giving her? Well, how do you think I found out she didn't want it? Yeah, but when you talked to her earlier, she said she did want it. Well, she didn't exactly say she wanted it. Well, then why did you have me buy the clock? Because I thought she wanted it. Mr. Gildersleeve, did you try to find out what she wanted? Well, like I say, I thought I knew. Well, then you never did talk to Marge. Well, I didn't want to give it away. So you bought the clock and then went over and gave it away? Well, that's one way of putting it. Well, how else would you put it? Well, now let's see. Mr. Gildersleeve, perhaps I shouldn't have troubled you in the first place if you'll kindly give me my twenty dollars. Twenty dollars? Well, I don't happen to have it with me. Didn't the judge give it to you? No, he's going to, right after I have his clock fixed. That's all right, Mr. Gildersleeve. No, don't worry about it. It's really my fault. I shouldn't have asked you to do it in the first place. You shouldn't? I should have asked Leroy. You know everybody's mad at me. Hello, P.V. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. What can I do for you? I'm already done for, P.V. Now then? Marge really doesn't like the clock. I was only trying to help Bronco out and now they're both up-settling me. You're doing too. Judge Hooker's mad at me, too. It's because I broke his clock. He gave you the works, did he? All right, P.V. That was a little witticism, Mr. Gildersleeve. Clock, works. I'm in no mood for witticisms. Well, I guess I listed it then. No telling how long it'll be before another fellow comes in here who's broken the works in his clock. P.V., I must say you're not very sympathetic. Yes, I am, Mr. Gildersleeve. I've always felt sorry for him. Well, it just doesn't pay to do things for people. Not even my own family appreciates him. Yes, they do. No, they don't. Hey, isn't that Marjorie and Bronco parking outside? They do. George, I'll bring them around. I'll threaten not to go to their anniversary dinner tonight. How do you know they're going to ask you? They've already asked me. Here they come. Yes, sir, I'll just play hard to get. All right, Mr. P.V. Hello, Bronco and Marjorie. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Hello. Mr. P.V., we'd like a gallon carton of vanilla ice cream for our anniversary party, please. We'll see you over home about six, Uncle. I might not be able to make it tonight, Marjorie. Oh. Well, what's the matter, Mr. Gildersleeve? Well, I sort of have a previous engagement. But, Uncle. You won't miss me. We were looking forward to seeing you and Leroy and Birdie. No, no, don't beg me. Oh, we don't want to force you. Mr. Gildersleeve, I'd cancel my other engagement. Never had one. P.V., I know what I'm doing. Well, here's your ice cream, Bronco. Oh, thank you, Mr. P.V. Uncle, I'm surprised you'd make other plans on our anniversary. Well, I've been told I do surprising things. Well, if you decide you can make it, Mr. Gildersleeve, there'll be a place for you. Don't count on it. I'm sorry, Uncle. Let's go, Bronco. Marjorie? Yeah? It would put me out quite a bit, but perhaps I could switch my engagements since you insist. Oh, we would be. Come on, Marjorie. Well, since I won't be seeing you, happy anniversary. Thanks, Uncle. Yeah, but thanks a lot. Hmm. They left me dangling, P.V., on the end of a limb. You're not dangling. You just thought it off. I guess everybody's over at Marjorie's for the big doings. Yeah? I'll turn off the lights, and they'll think I've left the house. And I'll raise the shade and sit by the window where I can watch it. I don't have anything else to do. Oh! Darn, window shade. Oh, well. Hey. I can see them through Marjorie's dining room window. They're at the table. Yeah, I could be over there with my little family if I hadn't tried to make it. I could be with my little family if I hadn't tried to mastermind the anniversary. Obviously, you're just an old buddhinsky. And now you're paying for it. Hmm. Oh, oh. Look over there, those happy faces. Leroy's stowing it away. Marjorie and Bronco making sheep eyes at each other. Who's that? Birdie! I thought you'd like a plate from the anniversary dinner. Well, that was very thoughtful of you, Birdie. How'd you know I'd be here? I think you'll leave. I knew you wouldn't go any place on the children's anniversary. Well, Leroy! I brought you some ice cream. Thank you. Little Leroy. Hey, why didn't somebody turn on the lights? Marjorie, Bronco. That's better. I thought you might like some hot coffee, Mr. Gildersley. Anniversary cake. Me? Yeah, didn't Birdie bake a wonderful cake? Thank you, sir. How do we know that we eat it? Cut it, huh? Isn't it? This is a great honor. We waited dinner for you. I'm thinking you'd come over. Well, I wasn't very hungry. Until now. What a fine anniversary. The Great Gildersley will be with us again in just 30 seconds. How much can salad dressing do for a salad? Well, if that salad dressing is miracle whip, it can do wonders. It can make the simplest salad in the world a special treat. Why? Because miracle whip has a truly remarkable flavor. A lively, teasing flavor that's made it the most popular salad dressing ever created. Find out just how good miracle whip can make your salads. Get the one and only miracle whip salad dressing tomorrow. Hi, George. It was a fine anniversary, Lee. Yeah, plenty to eat and everything. Well, you sleepy, my boy? You'd better run along home and go to bed. No telling when Marjorie and Bronco will be back. Well, they wanted to line up their anniversary dancing at the crystal room. Fine, young couple, Lee, right? Yeah. Before they left, they had a lot of nice things to say about me, didn't they? Yeah, Bronco surprised me. He said you were like a father to him. Yeah. Marjorie gave me a big hug and a kiss. Yeah, I'll never forget tonight. They said they couldn't do without me. Who else could they get to sit with a twins? Lee, right? Lee, right? But, gosh, won't you be out practically all night getting them water, checking them, keeping them covered while Marjorie and Bronco are out dancing? My boy, when you're old enough to have grandchildren, you'd rather sit home with them than be out kicking up your own heels. Good night, Huck. The Great Gilded Sleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White that is partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Earl Ross, Mary Lee Robb, Dick Crenna, and Dick Legrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gilded Sleeve. Delicious cold cuts for lunch and supper make a welcome change of pace from the hot meals you've been serving. Easy to fix too, but here's a tip. Be sure there's delicious Kraft prepared mustard on the table because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard, mild Kraft mustard so smooth and delicately spiced, and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added to give it extra zip. Keep both kinds on hand for different tastes. Next time, get Kraft prepared mustard. Tonight, play You Bet Your Life on NBC.