 Hi, it's right about here. There you go. Okay, I'm not gonna be able to see you guys. I don't think the chat, I don't know how this is gonna, okay. Oh, this is horrible view, isn't it? Yeah, okay. I didn't realize you guys would see. You guys are getting the reflections, aren't you? Yeah, it's very sunny. Oh, let's do it that way. Oh, this may work. Okay, is this better? Maybe? Oh, I'm trying to sit on the balcony to talk to you. Okay, change of plans. Apparently, this isn't gonna work so well. Balcony, sunshine, Florida. Nice to see you. Okay, above life channel. Let's shut the screen door. And let's have a conversation this morning. Lines a little bit. Hi, hey. Gotta be adaptable, right? Okay. Ooh, the bed behind me. Murphy bed. Hey, nice to see you. It's Frigid. Good morning. All right, so today is August 1st. And I'm actually in a beautiful hotel room in Walt Disney World, Florida. And I'm not gonna do a channeling right now. I'm not gonna do a channeling video, but I am gonna check in with you. Say good morning. And just connect. I wanted to connect first thing this morning. I'm getting ready to leave this room and start my day with horses. So I really have a healing connection to horses. They're extraordinarily beautifully intuitive, very empathic animals. And I've done some work in equine assisted coaching, receiving it, and also in natural lifemanship. And so I just really thought it would be cool. I've never been horseback riding in Disney World or in Florida. And so I'm looking forward to that. That's a big deal for me. So that's how I'm starting my day. I feel, hi, nice to see you on the live stream. There is not a channeling this morning. I am not channeling. Today, some of you, if you know my story, if you don't, there's a video here on Above Life channel. There's also one on very Grasshopper YouTube channel about my story. But today is significant for me. It is 20 years today, this morning here, that my dad made his transition into the afterlife. And that's super significant, not just because it was my dad and I was very, very close with my dad, but it's significant because two years after that, I literally opened the floodgates to my psychic awareness. And then I started doing psychic work. I started with mediumship. I started working in groups, doing what people would consider gallery-style readings and channeling and connecting with loved ones in the afterlife for people. That was primarily the focus of my work initially in the first, let's say, three to six months. Was that, probably six months, was that just that? And then it became just a really solid part of my work, a foundation for my work. I worked, I had a regular career job for years. And my mediumship work was just kind of this side thing that I did and became a business. And the only way that that ever happened for me, like I'd never been to a psychic. I had never had a card reading or tarot or anything like that at all until after I was a psychic. So I, and I opened up to my gifts two years after my dad died. And so I have a video about my psychic story. I actually should do a new video. Maybe I will today. It kind of depends on how the day goes because I'm really feeling, I'm feeling kind of mellow right now and I like that. I'm grateful for the mellowness. I did not sleep last night. I got back from Disney Springs. I got back late, it was like 11, I think. And for me, that's late this year. And I, you know, packed a little bit and stuff. And I was going to actually work a little bit. I have like a audio forecast I have to do for somebody. I haven't done it. It's like, I should have sent it yesterday. And I thought, well, maybe I'll channel or maybe I'll this or maybe I'll that, but I certainly feel like it. I listened to some like shaman music to help kind of calm my energy down and worked with my anointing oils that I have that I'm looking at right now in there across the room to just kind of, I didn't think it would be hard to sleep. And I kind of fell asleep for like maybe an hour and then I was awake. And so then finally it was like, I think it was four o'clock this morning I finally just decided to get up. So I've been up for a few hours, but I'm kind of, I'm tired because I feel like I haven't slept, but that's okay. Maybe that's why I feel mellow. This is my first cup of coffee though. I've been drinking tea all morning. So that's good, but. So good morning. I just wanted to share with you. This morning is not a channeling video right now. I'm just really in space, honoring the energy of what has allowed me to come forward in during this lifetime and share this with you to create an above-life channel, to create the Ferry Grasshopper channel, to have the focus of what I do like all day, every day for work, just in general the way I walk through the world. It all started because my dad made his transition into the afterlife 20 years ago today, 20 years ago today. And I wish I could tell you that grief gets lighter or better. And I think it really just changes. I think it's a part of who we are. I think it has, I've gotten to know it better what my grief, my personal grief is and my relationship with it. And more recently too, like after this last year, it seems like I am in a place in my life now where I am really open and willing to look at myself and kind of sort things through what doesn't fit now. It doesn't matter if it fit five years ago, 10 years ago, 25 years ago, 20 years ago, what matters is who I am today and the integration of all the experiences, the accumulation of all the experiences that I've had. Just like for you, we are the accumulation of the experiences that we've had and the energy of our spirit that is working with that energy as medicine and giving us the opportunities to express ourselves in new ways. We're always growing, which means we're always changing, we're always evolving. You cannot be expected to be the same person you were even six months ago or a year ago or whatever it might be, pick a time you shouldn't be the same. If you are the same, that might be something worth checking into because you might be missing out on some beautiful opportunities and potentials. So this grief piece and this relationship with grief, you know, because I've been sharing with you, if you watch me on Bridgen inspired on Instagram or fairy grasshop or my other YouTube channel, you know that I've been working on this personal healing journey, knowing that I would be coming up to this experience, this kind of moment where there's a shift now with this date, this 20 year anniversary of my dad's passing and August 1st, it's also Lama's, so Celtic holiday thing, pagan thing. I'm really connected to Celtic energy. I love it. And so that's why I'm like, oh, it's that too. Oh, and it's the first of the month. And the first is always a fresh start, step in, new beginning, new cycle. And so yesterday I did some clearing work. I mentioned that on my live stream last night on Bridgen inspired Instagram. I live stream on Instagram sometimes, especially when I'm out and about, it's easy that way when I'm traveling. And I shared that I had a clearing yesterday and I was going to, my intention was to have clearing and healing work done while I'm here. I already arranged that with a friend of mine who does that kind of work, wasn't sure what day it would be or what have you and it turns out yesterday, boom. Here's the needs right here, window of opportunity, whoop, opening. Are you gonna take it or not? And I said, yes, I choose me. And that became an opportunity, one of those opportunities that creates change in your life where in particular for me, this relationship with grief and loss and this fear of loss that can become so insurmountable that we almost feel paralyzed or so scared of losing something. And then you realize, maybe you never really had it, whatever that it is, whether it's like a person, whether it's a feeling of a sense, a false sense of like safety or security, whether it be for job or home or income or health or relationship or whatever that looks like, we never really have anything because everything is always moving, changing, growing, evolving. Everything is changing all the time, which means it's never gonna be the same. Even if it looks the same or seems the same or people try to act the same, it's not the same. Things are different. And as long as things grow and evolve and orbit around one another and move through your life in a way that works for you, great. But when something doesn't, and when something doesn't, it can kind of freak you out, right? Or pull you off kind of off track or off alignment. And that's kind of what's happened, I think, collectively, globally, energetically for all of us. We've gotten kind of pulled off our alignment and so we're not really sure what's going on. So it causes us to hold tighter to things that really we have no control over. We're like, there's this perception that we have control. Oh, we don't, we really don't. And when you try to hold something that's moving and spinning, it burns your hands. It burns because it needs to move. Everything needs to move. Everyone needs to move. Everything needs to change. And so I had this window of opportunity yesterday and I'm like, I choose me, choose me. So my relationship with grief and loss has started to evolve into this awareness of, maybe it's a recognition or awareness. I think it's an awareness. I always knew that grief and love were very closely related and connected. And the fear of loss is something that is very strong as well, but I recognize. And within myself, which has also been a fear of change, which has also been a challenge to take any kind of action that's real and substantial, especially when it's kind of like, gosh, I don't know how to explain this. It's like the relationship with grief impacts the relationships of everything that you have. How you perceive things, your values, people in your life, job, what you think of yourself, identity, all of it, it changes things. Like it gives me, how do I say this? Grief gives me an awareness of what's not mine. What is not me? I am not the emotion or the feeling of sadness or anger or control or fear. I am not those things. I feel those things. I interact with those things, but I don't have to become those things. Those things are not truly me in my natural state. What is me in my natural state can interact with things like that and can understand grief in a way that it doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be this big, scary shadow. What if grief is just a simple contrast to love so that we know what love really is and what it means for us? And I know that when my dad left this earth, he really was struggling with loving himself and he really withheld himself his entire life. And there was a lot of fear. There was a lot of stigma. There was a lot of stereotype. There was a lot of fear of acceptance and there's just so much around that that I had the opportunity to start clearing some of the lineages yesterday. And so I did. And I know that I think grief teaches us, but I don't think we have to become it. I don't think we have to wear it like a cloak, like a superhero cape. I think it transforms us. It gives us lots of opportunity to be our best selves, which means being in alignment with ourselves. We cannot depend on other people's circumstances, situations or scenarios, like even me being in Disney World, I cannot depend on being in Disney World to make me feel good. I cannot get my making me feel better feelings from other people, other places, other situations, other circumstances. The feeling better piece isn't the issue. It's the I am identifying with the heaviness of the other energies that are here, that are present, which might be sadness, which might be, maybe I actually just feel really insecure or not worthy. Maybe I feel a comparison. Maybe I feel I'm comparing myself to who I am now versus who I was five years ago. Maybe I'm, there could be all sorts of things, expectations, other people's values, social constructs, anything could be none of this. But I feel like it's a great opportunity. And it's not easy to really change that relationship with grief in a way that we can coexist, we can coexist with it because it's not gonna go away. And it doesn't have to be heavy. It doesn't have to drown me. It can actually, and maybe it exists to show me what I really value. And what I really value then gives me information about who I am, who I am. And maybe the grief, it shows us where we're not in alignment. Maybe the grief exists in our lives so that we get a reality check and understand how we are changing ourselves so that other people benefit, how we are changing ourselves and compromising ourselves and what we really need and want for other people to feel comfortable or okay or to love us. Like we're trading away pieces of ourselves. And what are we getting in return? There needs to be a balance in the given receive. There needs to be a balance. And I don't think, I don't believe that grief is just this bad shadow thing. I think it is a place of growth. It's a discomfort and a disease that causes us to question who we are so that we can show up in our lives in alignment, in our fuller expression. So that what I can learn is what really love is. And that starts with me loving me, me choosing me, me respecting me and holding me sacred. And I can say that because I know what grief is. I know what it's like to lose someone. That isn't really important to you in your life. I know and you know what it's like to have lost, to actually have someone die. And you also probably know what it feels like to feel like you want to die or like you are dying because the emotions of the energy, of fear, of loss, of worry is so heavy that it literally feels like you are suffocating. It feels like somebody is sitting on your chest and you cry because the anger comes out in tears because it's really sadness. It's not really anger, it's sadness. I don't really feel sad right now. I feel sort of grateful. I feel fortunate to know what I have to offer the world, the ability to be able to express myself and share this work that I do and in only the way that I do it with energetics as an intuitive life coach, as a medium, as a psychic. As someone I consider myself very much an encourager of people, I know exactly who I am. And that in part comes from this journey that I've been on over the last 20 years. Things change and so do we and it's okay. It's not easy, but it doesn't mean you're wrong or it's bad, it's just hard sometimes, it just is. Justice. Oh, I wrote something in my journal. Oh, shoot, I don't know why I think I packed it. I did pack it. Shoot. It was really good too. I wanted to share it with you, oh well. Sorry. All right. So good morning to you, good afternoon, good evening, whatever, you see this, I will, if I'm gonna live stream, I will, I should try to come back on YouTube, but it's super just easy for me to go bridge it inspired on Instagram. So if you're interested and I wanna connect with me today, I might do that. We'll see. I'm not really sure how I'm gonna feel. I don't feel sad though. There's not a sadness. There's just this incredible gratitude and this newer understanding of grief and like what the point of it is. There's kind of a relief that comes from realizing you don't really have control over things. You just show up and you be you and it doesn't really matter. The only thing that would be really bad is if you weren't you, if you weren't in integrity with yourself, if you weren't sharing your gifts because you're scared to do that because somebody might judge you. Well, whatever, if you were dead tomorrow, is that gonna matter? If somebody was gonna judge you some stranger, a random stranger on the internet or somebody that you want to be in your life and it just doesn't click? You know, I mean like what, how do you like fear of just, it just, there's so much. And it's like, it doesn't matter. Like what if, what if you're not here tomorrow? Did all that worry about what other people think matter? Did you honor yourself? Did you value yourself? Did you put yourself first? Not I matter more than you. Not it's a competition. Not screw you, I'm doing what I want. Not that. But to put yourself first in a way of loving yourself. Just really being in love with self. Respecting self. And then I think it's easier to express self fully. So that's what I've learned from grief, I guess is that. And none of this, this YouTube stuff would not even happen had I not lost my dad. I mean, it's all connected, you know? Might have happened in a different way. I don't know. But no channeling right now. I'm gonna go ride a horse. Yay, I'm so excited. Oh, you guys, oh my gosh. I can't wait. Okay, thanks for being here. Thanks so much for your support. I hope that I, I am grateful that I can, I know that I'll be able to express myself through this and other channels and continue to inspire your spirit as I am mine. Fill you with hope as I feel within myself and encourage us to live our lives. It's our life after all and we get to live it. I'm gonna say that to myself in the mirror. This is your life and you get to live it. Just live it. I'm gonna say that. Oh, I love you guys. I really appreciate it for those of you who are very like loyal viewers of above life channel and of my work. Thank you. Thank you.