 Babe, do you know who this is? She looks familiar. Is that like one of my cousins? Don't be stupid. I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is. It looks familiar. Maybe a maid? So my husband woke me up in the middle of the night because he was hungry and wanted a snack And I was so tired But I was the good little wifey and took my ass to the kitchen up a little snack a Lot of women do not agree with the kind of wife I am but my grandmother always taught me with all the temptation in the world You got to do what you got to do to keep your man at home One more thing don't ever go to bed with a dirty kitchen. I Tried to kiss my brother's best friend, but he rejected me twice So I matched with this guy on bumble and like just and I'm like a cute little like hey there How are you whatever his message back was an audio message which first fold fold, but Listen Happy Friday How are you today? That voice that voice is a it is it is a crime against women. I'm immediately pregnant You know that sound that's like I'm Gabby and I'm pregnant as fuck. That was me after getting that message like sir Your voice loses sex. How dare you come at me that way I mean, thank you. You made my day the hottest thing. I've ever heard but like So I had a young Karen also known as a Becky slide into my DMs what she said was sweet and simple She goes I don't get you now. I was intrigued by this. I responded by saying What she said well, you have a lot of followers, but you only have like one or two good videos And that's it well after a 16-second view of her profile didn't take Scooby-Doo to figure out the mystery of what videos of mine She was talking about you see this Becky was part of thought tick tock also known as thought cock Every single one of her thumbnails was her and a bikini with her rear end facing the camera I'm assuming the videos of mine. She's talking about are the ones where I went full boy, you know the tan pants You know the ones so I messes there and I said well I try to do as much original content as I can and I think sometimes people appreciate that she said well You'd probably have more followers if you know you did the dances and stuff that probably have more followers if I had tits too, but neither of those things are gonna happen You'll get the bag Showing a picture of my acts to my boyfriend in this picture Who is this? This is your ex-boyfriend. Yeah, we've been dating for so long and now you show me your ex-boyfriend I am concerned Maria. I'm concerned Look at them. I always knew I couldn't trust you around handsome guys Now I know I can't trust you about ugly guys either Maria. Look at them Promise me that you'll be on your best behavior. I promised other people that I'd be on my worst behavior Girls from Miami never gonna have Cuz a lot of girls would be like, oh We all have boyfriends like why bro if you're on a yacht in Miami Somebody got to be pulling out somehow Some way and I ain't gonna take the chance if it's my girl So if the girls trip, yeah, we you can go on the girls trip. We will break up and On the Monday or whenever you come back. We will discuss What you did and how your actions were and if I'm disgusted we will no longer be together Futurations 1016 wait. Hey babe. We're getting it on tonight Billy do you have to drink after work every day? You scared the fucking dog out of me first of all, all right I won't drink. Let's talk about your day. What'd you do at work today? I don't have a job. You know this Hmm Let's make some lunch for my husband tomorrow. He's gonna get a club sandwich I'm just starting off with three pieces of butter toast. I'm adding lettuce and ham I'm putting the mayo onto the ham just to prevent any soggy-ness I'm adding another piece of toast some pepper jack cheese and some Dave's hot pickles I'm also adding another piece of lettuce and some crispy bacon I'm going to fold that over and cut it diagonally some of those pieces of bacon fell out But that's just because it's super crispy, but look how pretty that is I'm wrapping it in some parchment paper and putting some toothpicks in there just to hold everything together and His other container. He's going to get some peaches I have a paper towel on there just to prevent any of the peach juice from leaking onto the trail mix side and making it soggy and His lunch bag. He's gonna get some snacks. I'm just packing some trees crackers a cliff bar the HUB Doritos An orange Gatorade and his overnight oats by all. I want to show you guys some habits I implement into my everyday life to keep my house clean First is loading the dishwasher at night and unloading it in the morning and then reloading it after breakfast And then I can just reload it throughout the day. I always do one load of laundry a day as well And also fold it when it's done. I keep a small basket of these little microfiber cloths behind our mirror So I can wipe down the mirror I have to my toddler loves putting her hands on it and then also to just dust and after that I always turn on our air purifier after I dust because it just gets so stuffy and of course I always make my bed if you can do anything let it be making your bed. It just pulls the whole room together I also try to vacuum every day because we have a mini Aussie that sheds So I really do need to try and vacuum every single day and then last but not least I always wipe down our bathroom counters just because hairspray and dry shampoo and stuff can get stuck there So my wife is probably the best wife in the world. She is so extra. Take a look at what she did for my birthday Avocado and orange salad Beef tartare and liver mousse Lobster bisque rack a lamb with potatoes and carrots Octopus and sweet-ink risotto. Last entree beef Wellington chocolate mousse Mini pavlova cake Because my husband plays in the NFL people love to call me things like gold digger or trophy wife or my personal favorite Jersey chaser the thing is my husband and I met when we were 15 and started dating when we were 17 So I had the absolute privilege of witnessing this and this evolved into this and This okay, so please have come yet gold digger and call me for what I am psychic