 The craft foods company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesley He's brought to you partially transcribed by the craft foods company Craft makers of the one and only miracle whip salad dressing We say one and only because there just isn't any other salad dressing like miracle whip Miracle whip is different and it tastes different Miracle whip tastes so good. It's become the most popular salad dressing ever created More miracle whip is sold than the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined Try it make your salad dressings better tasting with the one and only miracle whip A couple days ago the great Gilda sleeves niece Marjorie and her husband Bronco left on their vacation So the little house next door to the water commissioner is empty and quiet In fact things are pretty quiet around the great Gilda sleeves house, too See what's in the paper today. Hi George. It doesn't seem like the same house without Marjorie's twins galloping in and out Kind of missed a little tikes My magazine the one I was reading Leroy, I don't pay any attention to the magazines around here. The one that's got Esther Williams on the cover. Oh that one No, I haven't seen it Now quit poking around I'm trying to read the paper. Lift your feet up a second Not there. Is it behind you? Leroy. Get up a second will you honk. Oh My goodness Leroy, I can't. Here it is. You were sitting on it. Yeah All right now run along. I want to show you something out. Look here But I know what's coming Find the seven faces in this picture and win a Shetland pony. No better than that even Whoop the boy dressed in fish What a picture. Yeah, he's got strings of fish all around him. He's wearing them like a suit Keen, huh? Hmm double breasted halibut Fish like that. Can we go fishing on not right now? I'm reading the paper. Can we go on? It's good for a little kid to go fishing. It's good for him to get outdoors Yes, the fish are biting out at Grasslake tomorrow Saturday. Can we go to Marx family on you all right, Leroy I'll take you fishing at Grasslake, but not tomorrow. We'll go next Saturday. Oh boy, Keen on in the parlor birdie Letter from this Marjorie letter from Marjorie. Yes From a honey suck a lot They wonder how the lovebirds are getting along probably just sitting smelling the honey suckle Yeah, let's see what Marjorie has to say Dear Anki and all Isn't that sweet? How do you know you haven't read it yet? Dear Anki and all Words cannot express how happy we are Bronco and I have a lovely room overlooking the lake the same room we had when we came here on our honeymoon What if there's any fish in it? In the room? In the lake. Oh My goodness go fish in the backyard. Listen to the letter Leroy. Okay Says it's like reliving a beautiful dream. I'm sure no girl was ever so much in love with her husband Bless your little heart. Why don't there's fish? I feel as if the whole world were ours again At night when the stars are out we walk by the shores of the lake. You can fish at night Okay Hand in hand we walk and count the stars and I know I'm in heaven. I must be I Will write more later Give my best to Leroy to birdie and judge hooker Into Gloria McKinley when you see her you're loving me smart. That was a nice letter. Yeah Marjorie's happy Love is a wonderful thing. I'm gonna catch a bass You and your face hey, what's going with you on this McKinley? Did she give you the gate give me the gate? Certainly not. In fact, I was just thinking about it Like this Margie said love is a wonderful thing Oh birdie Marjorie letter had nothing to do with it. How come this McKinley hasn't been around on well I've been busy the last few days She's probably been busy down at Hogan brother. Yeah making goo goo. I said that assistant manager, mr. Huggins You realize Leroy stopped being silly Huggins is out of the picture and I left him in the dust long ago. Yeah I saw him walking down the street with her yesterday. He didn't look very dusty to me Why don't you go out and play Leroy I'm playing in here Where's my hat birdie you're going out? Yes, I think I'll run over to miss McKinley's for a few minutes worried out. No Leroy What a household man has about as much privacy as a goldfish Glory is probably standing behind the door right now waiting for me to ring the bell Probably flopping up a hair pinching her cheeks lovely rose Oh bug yes Mr. Huggins, oh It's you go to sleep. Yes Haven't seen you in quite a while. Yes, it has been quite a while There's something I can do for you go to sleep No, Gloria just some fella from the water department. Oh now look here Huggins It's me Hello, Gloria come in Thank you one side Huggins Where have you been Brock Morton? Where have I been? Well People leaving on vacations around our house pretty busy. Oh, are you leaving on your vacation go to sleep? Congratulations. Have a good time. No, let go of my hand It was my niece. Oh Yeah, I don't know why we're all standing here in the hallway. No, it's kind of crowded Aren't you needed at the store today Huggins inventory or something? The store is closed today Mr. Huggins is taking me out to dinner tonight. Drock Morton Yes, yes, I had asked you to go along gilder sleeve, but the people we're going with are all quite particular about whom they're seen with Just a minute Huggins. Oh gilder sleeve stop shaking at Rose in my face Rose. What's that for me? Oh, yes for you. You better take it outside. Gloria. It has a face on it You'll first Gloria, but I came to ask you will you have dinner with me tomorrow? Oh, I'm sorry. I can't tomorrow. I'm going to grasslake Grasslake with mr. Huggins. Oh, maybe some other time Some other time didn't bother me one bit home birdie Yeah, well, tell me about it later, buddy, I've got a lot of important things on my mind. Yes, you know He's doing this guilty. No birdie. He's out there fishing in the wash tub Fishing in the wash tub. He's having a big time. You're all right, birdie. I'm trying to think isn't in the wash tub Yes, yes, I know birdie That's sneaky Huggins probably taking glory out the grasslake tomorrow for a pic Right, let him take it. He's not any better looking than I am. Maybe he thinks he is Now wonder what they're gonna do out there. Not that I care Well good Caught one sock Wait for next Saturday at Grassley next Saturday Say it's glory and bird hug is gonna be there tomorrow I just thought of something. Yeah, come to think of it. We might go to grasslake tomorrow after all tomorrow Certainly. That's when you wanted to go. Wasn't it? Yeah, but I already told Piggy I'd go to the show with him tomorrow. Well, tell Piggy to go with him next week. We'll ask like tomorrow. Why because Well, it's a better day bound to be more fish in the lake tomorrow than next week Of course by George tomorrow is just the time to go off and black bass. What are you gonna catch young? I'm gonna catch a water snake They killed us leave. We'll be back in just a minute There are lots and lots of ways to make a salad special You can garnish it with fancy radish roses use slices of fluted cucumbers or add carrot curls or bits of fresh herbs You can serve that salad in a handsome salad bowl or on your most elegant platter But if the salad dressing you use isn't just the right one you're bound to be disappointed with the results So take care in your choice of salad dressing if you want a dressing with a lively Teasing flavor a flavor that's not too mild just sharp enough a flavor. That's really delicious Use miracle whip salad dressing Miracle whip has a flavor you won't find in any other salad dressing anywhere because it's made from a secret craft recipe a Recipe that was created by craft to give you the best qualities of good old-fashioned boiled dressing and fine rich mayonnaise You'll discover miracle whip has a marvelous texture to Creamy thick and smooth the satin because this dressing is blended thoroughly with special craft beaters With such remarkable texture and flavor It's easy to see why miracle whip has become America's favorite salad dressing and actually outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined For better tasting salads with or without fancy touches make miracle whip your salad dressing Just be sure you see the name miracle whip on the jar you buy remember There's only one miracle whip and it's made by craft Now let's get back to the great Gildesley My George, this is a free time And it's a public lake No reason why we run. I can't go fishing in grass lake on the same day glory and bird hug into there Just coincidence Yeah, the cleverest coincidence I ever planned Yeah, I'd better stop in the drugstore and get some corks Hello, Pee-Vee What can I do for you this evening Pee-Vee, I want some bobbing corks Corks Pee-Vee the kind to tell you when the fish are biting I don't think I have any corks that smart mr. Gildesley Oh My corks know how to do is to hold things in bottles All right, Pee-Vee just sell me half a dozen big corks to tie on fishing lines. I'm going fishing. Are you Mr. Gildesley? Yes, Pee-Vee up to grass lake Get my corks out. That's a good idea Are the fish biting? I don't know Pee-Vee. Well, are they going to bite it? I don't know that either You don't seem any more interested in fishing than a couple of other people who are going up there tomorrow What's this Pee-Vee? Miss McKinley and Bert Huggins were just in discussing their plans over a soda. I'm not the least bit interested in their plans Pee-Vee What did they say? Well, she said I'll have a vanilla soda and Pee-Vee That's not the information I'm after What are his plans? Well, he planned to have a strawberry soda And then she bought a bathing cap bathing cap seems if it's warm enough she plans to try a new bathing tube And then Bert bought some suntan lotion, I don't know why he needs suntan lotion with the highest thickest hits He didn't buy it for himself He said he might have to pat some on Miss McKinley You'd better watch it You care to take a bottle of the lotion along Mr. Gilstain? Pee-Vee, I don't burn. You look a little burned already What? If the fishing isn't good, you can always row a shore and join the picnickers It wouldn't hurt to have a bottle along in case Bert finds out Pee-Vee, you know I wouldn't try to crash their party Well, give me a bottle. We Roy might get a sunburn nose What's the matter with me? I haven't been able to sleep all night I wish this pillow was bird huggins But there, that'll hold him. Now maybe I can go to sleep I wonder what they're going to do out there tomorrow I wouldn't trust that puggins are on the fun I'm trusting myself. He's on the beach He's on his bulging biceps. Look at him Covering it with sand What a corny thing to do No wonder what they're talking about Your nose is getting pink, Gloria. Oh, I bet it puts some suntan lotion on it Oh, no, no, he just let me do that. What? Don't let him, Gloria Oh, still, this won't hurt a bit. We mustn't let it burn. Such a cute little nose Oh, bird He's not putting lotion on her nose. He's trying to kiss her Trying to kiss her on the public beach. Ah, to call the police Who's there? Who set my alarm for five o'clock? I did. It's time to go fishing. Fishing? At this hour? No, my boy At least he didn't get to kiss her Kiss who? Never mind, Leroy. What a character Helping, birdie. I have much of an appetite this early in the morning No, sir. He's just like his uncle. He's around ring doorbells at this hour Good morning, Gilday. Look it up early. That's why I'm so sound of wind and limb Up before the roosters. Now, Gilday, I happen to see a light in your house, so I came over Judge, you can't see my lights from your house ten blocks away Well, Peter did tell me you and Leroy were going fishing this morning Yeah, I knew it And being an avid fisherman, I happen to know all the best spots for fishing Well, you don't happen to know what I'm fishing for Well, whether it's bass or bluegill, I know the spots to go And now, Judge? I am not inviting myself Oh, no I just stopped for a walk But I doubt if you'd ever find the right spot if I wasn't there to point them out Judge, you can't go fishing in that cape you're wearing Well, the cape is removable, Gilday. See? Over. Pip boots, fishing jacket, landing net And I just happened to bring my fishing rod I was using it this morning for a walking stick Yes, yes. Birdie, coddle an egg for the judge Lovely, Roy That's because you brought so much equipment along Why the binoculars, Gilday? Well... What's the matter? Are the fish you catch so small you need binoculars to see them? All right, Judge With all that wind, wouldn't you like to row for a while? Thank you, Gilday, but I'm the navigator It's up to me to direct you to a good fishing spot Look at the old goat standing up in the boat He thinks he's Washington crossing the Delaware Sit down, Gilday Gilday, you made me sit on the lunch Oh, for corn's sake, now I'm going to have fresh ham sandwiches Toss out the anchor Toss it out, Lee, Roy Gilday, surely you don't expect to catch fish right off the picnic ground Why not? I wonder where Gloria and Bert are Gilday, why are you scanning the shore? No reason, Judge. Let's bait up and start fishing Well, I'm just to get it But if I had my way, we'd be fishing across the lake for those rocks Yeah, over by the big stump. There's a lot of bass over there No, Lee, Roy, I know what I'm doing Yeah, I think I'll try catching it You're wasting your time, Gilday. You'll never catch a fish here Well, it won't hurt to try Hey! Say, there's somebody over there under a tree Wonders? No, Gloria's a blind Gilday, what are you staring at? Reeling in Your fish is going out into deep water Oh, yes Now, now you've got it coming Darn fish. Won't even let me see who's on shore Two for Lee, Roy, and one for me What a dull morning Why do the fish have to pick on me? I'll take them off the hook, huh? You can take my rod, too, Lee, Roy I think I'll relax and look through my binoculars a while Why shouldn't Polo look through binoculars? I don't see him any place I wonder if he's buried her in the sand It hasn't been for these darn fish. I'd have located them long ago Gilday, if you're looking for Miss McKinley and Bert Huggins Why not look behind you? What? Here they come in a boat Say, it is Gloria Well, imagine meeting her out here Yeah, Mr. Huggins Yes, yes Hello there Hello, Miss McKinley and Mr. Huggins Gloria, what are you two doing out in the boat? We've been fishing Gloria, you've been fishing? You two Huggins? Yeah, fishing Oh, it's a matter with Bert I'm afraid he doesn't feel very well Seasick? Oh, too bad Let's get to shore, Gloria Well, all right We didn't get a strike, Strockmorton You didn't? Gosh, look at our string Oh, they're beautiful Did you catch all those, Lee, Roy? Heck, no The water commissioner caught most of them Strockmorton, you did? Oh, only six of the nine Oh, Gloria, let's go to shore The boat's rocking Oh, brother, he looks like a pale blue-point oyster We'd better go Miss McKinley, you seem to enjoy fishing Oh, I do Well, why don't you step into the boat with Gilday And Lee, Roy and I will go ashore with Mr. Huggins Why, Judge? Yeah, I'm getting hungry And I don't want to eat those sat-on sandwiches You come with me, Lee, Roy, and I'll buy you all the hot dogs you can eat Hey, King Have fun, Gilday What a fine old man You don't mind, Bert? Oh, no, I'd be happy to have someone row the boat All I want to do is get on shore Hurry, Lee, Roy Okay Careful, Lee, Roy Let me take your hand, Gloria Oopsie-daisy Thank you, Dr. Morton Oh, this is going to be exciting You bet You take one, or Lee, Roy, and I'll take the other Okay Goodbye Goodbye, Bert Now then, Dr. Morton, I'm completely in your hand You are How do I go about catching fish? Oh Just drop my line over here Well, I think this spot is fished out Let's pull up anchor and drift over behind those willows Whatever you say With my luck today, it wouldn't surprise me if I had a bass on the anchor Yes, there Now we'll just let our lines drag behind the boat as we drift along Oh, we're going to troll Yeah We'll just have to ride from the bottom of the boat Lean back and relax Oh, this is nice You bet Gloria, imagine we're in a canoe Floating on some tropical lagoon Oh Come with me Where moonbeams Light the ocean sky And the starlit waters I've never heard you sing so well, Dr. Morton I wonder if it's the water No It's the inspiration Yeah, I think I'll sit a little closer, balance the boat Oh If I play my cards right, I may get that kiss that Bert missed Gloria Yes, Dr. Morton Gloria Oh, the Great Gilded Sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds Wonderful partner for salads and cold cuts That's deviled eggs And for some of the most delicious deviled eggs you ever tasted, make them with miracle whip salad dressing Miracle whip has a lively teasing flavor, a peppy flavor that's just right for those eggs It's a different flavor, too One you won't find in any other salad dressing Get a jar of delicious distinctive miracle whip tomorrow For extra good deviled eggs and for some of the best tasting salads you've ever put a fork to There's nothing like miracle whip We'd better get ready for dinner, Dr. Morton What's the hurry? I'd rather sit here in the couch with you But Judge Hooker's worked so hard in the kitchen Well, he's having fun First time in years, he's cooked on more than one burner Wait, where's Bert? He's folded up in the pork swing Just prove it, Gloria When you're going out in the water, you need a water commissioner Oh, Dr. Morton To the table, fish are ready I'll never catch another fish as long as I live The Great Gilded Sleeve is played by Willard Waterman The show is written by John Elliott and Mandy White in this partially transcribed Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross Dick LeGrand, Gloria Blondel, and George Neitz Musical compositions by Jack Meakin This is John Heaston saying goodnight for the Kraft Foods Company Makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday throughout the summer For the further adventures of the Great Gilded Sleeve Having a picnic, make those picnic sandwiches taste extra good with miracle sandwich spread Miracle sandwich spread is made by Kraft From America's favorite salad dressing, miracle whip and spicy relishes See what a wonderfully different flavor, what tang miracle sandwich spread adds To your meat or cheese sandwiches Or use it alone between slices of bread For a sandwich that's really thrifty and quick and easy to fix Stop at your grocer's first thing tomorrow And take home a jar of delicious miracle sandwich spread Tonight, hear the best of Groucho on NBC