 So today we're going to talk about what men are incredibly attracted to and I put that in quotes because We are attracted to a lot of different things I'm so excited to have in the house Deborah Kagan. She's the author of the book Let's let's say undressed and a an invitation to claim your erotic nature. So Deborah welcome in that to the Podcast here to the house. Yes, I'm so excited to be with you and And and I love that you know All of the things that you know, but certainly that men are attracted to women who know about what I write about in the brand new book undressed Yeah, you know, that's why I intentionally put the title if women know this and there is an aspect of your work You're a mojo specialist you particularly work with women on a variety of different, you know, I'll say inner work To become more magnetic not for men. Let me just be clear This isn't about men even though the title is about men. This is about for those watching This is about your own inner peace your inner sovereignty yourself worth your mojo And and I've got someone who really specializes in this so I want to dive into this What's the first we were just talking about the first sentence in your book. Oh Yes, the introduction is actually called and now, you know, not everybody loves this word I happen to be a fan the introduction of the book is called. Hello pussy Okay, so tell me what does that mean and what that means is our as women? Yeah our vagina And vulva but particularly the depths of our vagina has a it really has a voice when you know, we're This particular book is in seven sections and it moves you through the seven power centers of the body My greater work and that I've been doing for almost a quarter of a century at this point is Very focused on supporting women and tapping into what I call the main power center Which is the second one And it's between your belly button and above your pubic bone So if you all anybody watching right now go ahead and take your thumb You could stick it in the in your belly button put your middle finger and place that on your pubic bone Laying your palm down. That's that low belly. I call it the goddess pooch I always had a little extra there right you got your Buddha belly if you're a gentleman with you know Something a little extra cushion for the cushion. Yeah, but this area is literally Where you house your mojo now mojo is your life force. It is the energy behind all energy in the universe Okay, everybody has mojo. You're born with it. You never lose it But what it feels like it feels like you lose it because the volume dial gets turned down by traumas Upsets from micro traumas to macro traumas stress in regular life many many things and so we all get to a space of Hang on a second. Let's you know find our way back now Let's get back to you're asking that question. Well, why you know, why is it called? Hello pussy the introduction? Because that second power center for up for you know people who have all those And vaginas your cervix or the space if you've had your cervix removed I talk about that in the book to the energetic space of where your cervix is is the Bottom the base of this second power center It is the entrance right into your womb space and into this second power center and there is consistent life force Communicating with you all day every day But most of us Are living life above the neck? Yeah, right? Wounds right and this is what I call the masculinization of women Yeah, so it's been very revered It's been what we've been, you know taught is the thing to do in order to succeed in life But what we're seeing in our modern day is very messed up relationships And also we're seeing so many women suffer with hormonal issues and stress problems, right because our natural Feeling our natural desire is to be in our bodies Now this is not necessarily gender specific. I mean, you know, I'm sure you can speak to this Jonathan Right like you probably want to be in your body, too Yeah It feels good to be in your body but it's it's interesting because it's more acceptable for those who are in a male body to You know, you have a different way of Channeling and moving your mojo for us, you know that are in a female body. It's it's it is it's that I Mean, what did they say? You know, it's in the way she moves. It's not in the way that she thinks In the in the way that she makes her money that's not where our special sauce lives and so the introduction is Actually called. Hello pussy because it is written in the voice of the readers Speaking to you the reader to be like, hey, I'm so glad you're here, right? This is a really cool thing and it's it's a it's a just a fun way to begin and get into the book And I think it sets the tone for where we're going Really quickly on a complete side note. Do you know Greta Grace? Yes, Greta Cohen. She's married to Dennis Cohen So I've done workshops with her and she'll always start off a workshop. I mean And this is a circle of people and you go, what's my pussy meter stating right now? Now for my audience, you probably think I've gone over the edge right now talking about this But I just want you to know I observe a variety of different modalities of teaching and you know to some degree I I hyper focus on personal development self-help and spiritual work Particularly in the area of healing childhood wounds and adult traumas Why I brought Deborah here is because all of this is tied together folks You know, it's not just about attracting a mate. Okay. Well, that's where my Conversations lead the most important relationship you're ever gonna have is with yourself Absolutely, and so I felt like I wanted to bring you on Deborah to talk about a topic that probably doesn't get as much of attention Because there's so much social stigma and such like that the use of the P word. Oh my god We just freaked out, you know But at the same time when we embrace both our physical and sexual and emotional and mental well-being The happier we are and the more magnetic we are in relationship. So Okay, so I just had a big speech there. I'm gonna bring it back to a point with you So to the extent How would your book relate to somebody who is in the dating mating or relating marketplace? If you will that they do want a life mate, how will your book help them Attract that Yeah, I'm curious to hear. Well, and here's you, you know, you'd spoke to it so beautifully just before it's about first Knowing yourself know thyself if we are at war with ourselves in any way whatsoever and all of us are self critical To some extent where it's going to be very difficult to create peace or to create Magnetism out in the world Because we are going to be coming from this energetic blueprint called our childhood wounds and our childhood traumas And no matter how much you say I want x y and z if you haven't transformed them in your neuro biological Structure Then you will continue to be rinse and repeating the vibrational quality and the vibrational tone Of what you have within your body Neuro biological structure Yes, can you expand upon that for a second because I love that but I want some clarity Sure. So this really when we think about it there you know, if you think about modalities like acupuncture or Accupressure, right? So what or even reflexology? What's happening is, you know, maybe you go in for a headache But you're getting needles put in your low back or in your foot or in your leg It's like, what the hell does that have to do with my headache? What it has to do with your headache is it is shifting the flow of energy in this neuro biological structure And in that way they call it meridians So you can think about the meridians in your body as freeways Moving the mojo moving this life force through you It naturally wants to do that You are wired to have the life force move through you effortlessly But what happens is we go through stuff I grew up in a home of domestic violence and and abuse and the first time I had sex I was raped So I know about these traumas and how they Absolutely create what I call these kinks. It's and it's not like the fun kind of bound chick a bound vile king Those are the fine kinks these are kinks that create hardened calcified balls of energy in the neuro biological structure so Therefore when you grow up and you get into your teen years and maybe go to college and now you're an adult living your life You've gone to therapy. You have maybe read some self-help books But if you have not done the transformative somatic embodiment piece Then you are still going to have the this this essence this, you know, sort of residue Of that energetic structure, which is what your desire your natural native desire is going to be moving through so it's going to be Sort of wrinkled in a way that isn't pure And this is why we tend to get the same things over and over again in a different package Right when it's particularly when we're looking for a mate or a romantic or intimate partner So in terms of one of my my desires and why I wrote this book And I've got another question. I want to jump in in a second to sure Okay, but finish that. Yeah, just to kind of button that up So the the the book is really it's written for women to be, you know, read by you practice by you experienced by you Because it's going to transform your relationship with your body And with your sexuality and your spirituality, which by the way, I believe are the same thing And so it's going to give you the practices and give you the information And also fun erotic stories that are memoir pieces To get you in the mood But it's going to give you that so that you know yourself so well And you are so comfortable with yourself in this particular way That when you are presented with a new partner, there's a new level of confidence There's a new level of sovereignty and there's a new level of radiance that is So genuinely connected to the truth of who you are and that that creates the You know transformed experience Well, you said a lot there. I want to unpack but I want to I want to Well, first off, I want to make a statement for everyone Radiance is by far in my opinion the most attractive Aspect of a woman when she's radiating when she's in radiance I I I just believe that it's not based on physical looks. It's based on radiance My mother quite frankly, she was 300 five foot five 300 pounds And she could walk into a room and own it. I mean She was she I think she thought she was Elizabeth Taylor reincarnated, but Love it incarnated, but um, but she had that radiance about her and and so I just witnessed that growing up And I just want to say it's very attractive I want to circle back to something because I think this is critically important when you talked about Those nodules and bubbles and those knots in your body You mentioned somatic therapy and I have done I did the Hoffman process which is a Shit load of emotional relief work. Yeah, um, and I and I wanted I was hoping you could actually expand upon You know somatic therapy emotional release work and what that really entails because for a lot of people They might think that's woo-woo, but it's we can think about a lot of Work in the head space therapy is head space, you know Um personal development self-help a lot of it is head Right what we're really talking about is releasing it from the body. So can you please dive into that for everyone? Yeah, absolutely. And this is what we focus on. I run a mentorship for women and We do two retreats a year and it's called the embodiment experience And so that that whole weekend all we do Really is embodiment work And so that can look like I mean it's a it's a it's sort of a vast toolbox But so I'll give you just some of the things how it can look like it can look like breath work Okay, it can look like Simple body movement. I mean like it can look like uh, some people who might walk into a room might think Oh, are they doing yoga? But it's not it's not necessarily straight up yoga, right? Yeah, it could look like that Um, it can look like dancing But again in a particular way and it's not like oh, we're taking tango classes But there's a certain kind of movement There's um, what's called non-linear movement where you are you are seeking To feel and find those kinked up places because the more that you discover the more that you explore The more you will actually discover Where literally where in your body that you have some of those hardened kinks. Yeah So it can it can look like Voice work it can look like um, you know a partnered work. There's a lot we do in terms of What we call from from my teacher's sacred theater Where you are, you know going to tap into a particular quality or essence of yourself and then Animate that create that so, you know, it might look a little bit like a sort of a kid's playground at that point Where we're, you know, feeling into different aspects of oneself But no matter which tool or which way and there's there's actual hands on Somatic therapies that are incredibly powerful and they're wonderful practitioners out there that will do that these days um But no matter which way you go what happens is It's like massaging like you're getting a massage for this Kinked up ball of energy and it starts to smooth out right so think about like a garden hose I'm not much of a gardener It's amazing. I can keep like my house plants alive I got a lot of good qualities, but you know gardening out there is not not one of them However, I have gone out to like water, you know certain things at times And you know when the hose like gets wrapped around itself So it's got this kink and then everybody does that thing with the hose. We're like, okay. I'm just like You're sort of lassoing it around to unkink it It's literally like that. So the water is trying to get through the hose The mojo is trying to move through your body But it gets stuck at that kink and so the embodiment work the somatic piece Is that like lassoing that moving that twirling around of the kink until it smooths out So now we've got more flow of the mojo happening right so I want to piggyback on something you shared because um Yeah for everyone I just want you to know something I am a big believer of body work as I said before somatic therapy emotional release work Some of it can be heavy-duty work, you know taking even a baseball bat to a pillow and taking out some of that Energy that's been stored up for years I also have done the play piece And and those who follow me know I've done the Hoffman process and one of the experiences is literally a day in the Playground. I mean as adults. We're doing a lot of kid stuff for a half a half a day and I I remember feeling like I was wrapped in a blanket of self-love By able to physically embody that Little kid inside of me by doing this play by doing this work Which in essence, you know, I think every child has mojo It's just through life experience. We our mojo gets stuffed and it gets wrapped in armor and it's and it's stifled in many ways, so I'm I'm just sharing this. I want to just piggyback by saying folks doing this type of work literally Brings out like I said it can bring out a blanket of self-love, but it brings out that part of you that's been Resting in dormancy for a very long time. Yes, so All right. Well, what else in your book? You know And we're coming back to what's incredibly attractive to man. You know, I mean, I'm going to come back to the bible title and by the way folks again, this isn't about men What else in your book would be a highlight that you'd like to share with our group? Well, it's interesting. I have to say, you know, now that it's been out in the world for just a minute basically Recently was released, which is so exciting. Um, I think, you know, some people are kind of just wowed by some of the memoir pieces and going Why did you want to write about, you know, your sexual escapades and put it out for the world and it's not You know and and people are enjoying them because if you enjoy erotica If you enjoy stories about the inner landscape of a woman's experience, you're going to enjoy these stories What was surprising to me was the feedback from men And saying, oh my gosh I have a totally different point of view now of of, you know, what it really feels like and looks like to be a woman And now I feel like I know how to actually be an approach and kind of hold space for a woman I never thought that was going to be something this book would, you know, create in the world But the other thing about the stories that I'm hearing from women Is the the thank yous and the oh my gosh, like you went through that too or it's okay to Like experiment or feel that way when, you know, you have a lover or I like I could do that So the the permission that women are Saying that they feel from reading the stories was I mean, I'm so glad about that because it certainly was one of my intentions But that's been really beautiful And I think everybody's really surprised by the first Section so again, it's in seven sections based on the seven power centers of your body And the first section is of course about the root center So the practices which I offer you a sexual practice and a spiritual practice to really awaken and align with that power center um Yet readers are are saying oh, it's why did you start with that? I was like, well because those practices align with your root center So, you know, I'm almost reminded of 50 shades of gray and I don't know if it has uh elements of that But I'm gonna be blunt and say this You know Most well, I'm gonna say most guys are probably shitty lovers I'm gonna you said it Yeah, I'm not I don't you don't have to you know, and I and I say this just as a supposition on my part And that's a lot of judgment But what I mean to mean to say is since we brought up sex You know a lot of men in particular are just you know in it for their own ejaculation And and there's not a real sense of and and to the extent that they believe that they've satisfied a woman It certainly pumps up their ego, you know, so it's really off in some cases a two-fold experience I want to get off, but I want to know you get off so I can feel good about it Um, okay there. I made my statement You know and and can I I'd like to jump in here because this is this is also One of the main reasons I wrote this book because everything you just said is accurate And it's absolutely missing the spirit piece. Yes, forget right We forget that there's a whole sort of soul whether you want to call it your spirit But there's a whole thing happening behind the skin and bones and the flesh here, right call it what you will See, but that's what's actually possible to join in the the spirit realm while you're having delightful pleasure And love making and sexing and bucking and whatever and you're doing in the moment But when you bring your spirit online, which again this book is about bringing both your sex and your spirit online together consciously Now it's there's less focus on oh my gosh the ejaculation or oh my god Please I want to have like the biggest orgasm possible Right those things become less important and it's about what is the pleasure we're creating together What is this experience that we can open up and and really be a part of in this present moment in this now moment? Because all we ever have is this moment right now and then the next one and the next one Well, well, thank you for sharing that I I I think I had a selfish reason for saying what I did and what I mean to say is I recognize that when I was younger You know, it was all about my own needs and and to the extent that this book draws attention to a more pleasurable way And more erotic way to experience a physically intimate relationship I do know that there are men out there as well who are like me that would prefer they they seek a heart on To go with their heart on Yes, and and that's really when you said spirit You know, I'm at a point in my life and this wasn't this way 15 20 years ago. It really is only now come into my my existence that Really when two people connect At a real deep emotional level while being physically intimate with one another It can be it can house a lot of mojo in there if you will a lot of a lot of fire a lot of You know energy um And I do and I want to say this I didn't get to where I'm at today if it wasn't for a woman Who introduced me to This way of being And whether it was tantra classes or or pujas or whatnot for those that want to google that And it's not sexual per se. It's about really harnessing the energy within Why i'm bringing this up is it's a woman who's helped me get to my heart And I think when women really can get to their own heart Through like the work you do and through your book It actually has the ripple effect can you know ripple into the men in your life as well So long as you don't so long as you've got an open person in your life someone is open and receptive Um, just curious how you felt about what I just shared and any thoughts Yeah, well, I'm just you know, I'm first of all, I love that and I'm so glad that you were open to it You know and that you allowed yourself to experience all of that And that you're here to share about it and also look the more free we get within ourselves That is then how we walk through the world So if you know, whatever part of you it recoils at whether it's a word or a person or an experience There is something that is Keeping you trapped it doesn't mean that you need to go do the thing or hang out with the person or say the word But it's about really checking in with yourself to see what has you in some kind of a shackle, right? And we are so Tied up and we are so Backwards particularly in in in the u.s. About our sexuality and particularly about the talk of oh my gosh sexuality and your spirit whoo, right Anything that that that you really have that kind of recoiling to I invite you to look at Because whatever it is is holding you hostage and that is a part of you that is not free and somewhere in your life That lack of freedom is going to pop up and not in a great way and it will hold you back from You know bigger and more exciting experiences, whether they're professional or personal experiences Yeah So well, thank you for that. So, um Well, I want to bring it to a close. I wanted to share with everybody There's going to be a link below to get a copy of debra's book. Okay a couple other things You mentioned a retreat. I would love for you to expand upon that for a second And I'll put a link to your website below as well What do you do in these retreats and what's the benefit for everyone? Yeah, so right now the retreats are a part of the Mentorship program that I offer and that's a year-long experience where it's part group part one on one And being in an incredible community of women who are all Moving forward and transforming their kinks so that you know, you can create more mojo in your life And the thing about women we learn through osmosis So just by being around the thing we want to become That's how a lot of how we download it and so being a part of these communities is Is totally game-changing and twice a year. There's a weekend retreat Where like I said, we'll do these embodiment pieces. So that's it's delicious in 24 We're going to be doing some public retreats, but that's not out yet publicly men get to come No, you don't this is But men get to consume my podcast And so there's plenty out there that I have for you to Consume and really get more on the inside scoop of what's happening for ladies and our mojo Oh, well debora. It's been a real treat to have you in the house. So to speak Again, everybody. I want to just remind you check out the book undressed by debora kagan And check out the links below. I think you're going to be really grateful for looking into her work and and At least explore it. That's my invitation for everyone debora. Thank you again for being on the podcast Jonathan, thank you for having me and being such a mojo-licious man. Oh, well, thank you All right, every oh first off. I'm gonna end my video with you as I do all my other videos Can I give you a big gigantic jotham bear hug? Yes, yeah, wait. Do I get one back? Yes Okay Everyone take care. Bye debora