 I mean, I'm not gonna be hitting drunk, but I might as well have a glass of wine. You know what I'm saying? Hey guys, welcome back to my sadly realistic portrait of what a 30 year old lady's life is like. He's just got a nice little lady. A lot of you guys have been tweeting me pictures of things that you would like me to do, mostly to my face. Apparently that's all I am. It's just a face to glue things on. But I realized that a lot of them were actually sort of like face painting, which I've never done before. So I went out and I bought this very fancy kit of grease paint, which I tested and just seems god-awful quality. But I picked three looks that you guys tweeted at me that I'm going to try to create with some face paint and or makeup. And I think it looks fun and funky and I want to try it. Ugh. Yeah. Are you okay? This is what a grown woman does in her free time. She has a glass of wine and she buys a face painting kit with some stickers in it. That's so funny. You laughed a little too hard at me, Debbie. That's why I'm buying some. There's a way you said it. It was like really derpy. I don't know. What was derpy? Knock, knock. I'm knocking louder. Who was there? Fuck me up, fam. So the first look that I'm going to create was this picture that someone tweeted at me of someone turning their mouth into an eyeball. Which I feel like I can handle. Except I was reading these instructions. Listen to this. It says warning, do not use red, pink, yellow, or orange in the eye area. Do not use blue, yellow, or green on the lips. Bitch, this is face paint. Why is any of this not safe for some part of your face? Just know that I'm putting my life at risk for you, for us. What's that mouth I do? Ugh. So they gave me this base white color, which I'm going to put all over my mouth. Should I make my eye like a little bigger? I have like little lips, so I can't just like make it the size of my lips. Girl, ain't nobody's eye that little. I think you're good like that. Just, I think that's... So I haven't watched any tutorials. I don't know how to do this. I'm literally just looking at the picture and trying to create something magical. Peanut butter and crack sandwiches! So of course this kit came with these nasty little sponges in here. I'm going to use a brush, like a fucking adult. We're just going to dip into the black here. Don't squint at me. Wait. Oh my God. It's not looking like an eye at all. It's like a cloud mouth. Expectation versus reality. I have enough lip to do this? Girl. Okay, so we got to make one side like the wing and the lashes. I did too many lashes. Like shit. Okay, you know, this really is an awesome great start. Really? Oh my God. Does it look like an eye or not? It actually does. It looks like an eye with a hole in it. Oh my God. It lacks all of the detail that makes this one good. Like how does that one have so much detail? Come on, dude. It looks like you did colored pencils. Honestly, it's probably a fake picture. I look like I know every move to the industrial dance. I mean, so far, face painting is not my forte. It's my third eye. It's just reversed. It's on the bottom. God. Smash your pants. Get them next time, champ. Can't win them all. Thanks, coach. You win some. You look like that some. The next face painting that someone tweeted at me was actually a picture of this. But I asked Julian if he'd be willing to participate and he said, no, I'm not shaving my beard. Good news is I... Oh my God. I found this picture, which allows me to accomplish that in one face. So I think what we gotta do, we gotta get to white on here. So I'm trying to figure out the order of operations here without watching anything because I don't feel like it. But I think maybe I put on the colors and then outline it, you know? So, here we go. What is that fish's name? It looks like a Frederick. That's a look. So then he has like a fin that goes up here. It actually looks really, really fucking cool. That's not even... Not even bad. Orange isn't going to work. It's too pale because I am the color of that. Should I try like a pink? Yeah, pink, maybe. Oh, she low-key thick though. Imimi! This shit is cute as fuck. You still can't exactly tell what's going on in my face. Like if you saw me, you're like, bitch. It looks a little... What about this says blowjob to you? I'm just a fucking lady out here trying to paint my face. You're actually pretty good. If you draw it in your face, I couldn't do this. I guess it's because you're going to make up and it turns like... I'm not even that good at makeup. Love having compliments, rejecting happy in my face. Oh! Oh, wait, show your mouth. They're eating each other. No, they're kissing! When you hug your mouth open, it looks like they're... Turn to your right. Do you know what right is? Usher right. Okay, now go like this. Oh, that's terrifying. It looks like Marvel's going... No, do it the other way. This could have been us. I was facing this way and you facing this way and us kissing and our mouths are a bitch. But I'm playing. But you're what? This could have been us, but I'm playing. If you saw me... I mean, it's cool looking. Hi, my name's Jenna. I'm 30 years old. I have a hamster and I have a basketball game tomorrow. It's in my face. I look terrifying. From what I can see from here, I just... I look like... It's very Harvey then. It's pretty cool. Ooh, they nasty. They all look like real fish. Do you like it or not? You're going to take me on a date like this? Yeah. Where would you take me? The aquarium? I think you're my carer. You know, like, Ela takes care of Ethan? I am your carer. You're my carer. I tried to use coconut oil to take this off, but you can still see the pink fish. It dyed my skin. The last picture that someone tweeted at me to do to my face is quite possibly the most extra shit I have ever seen. Look at this. Girl. What is... You don't... Okay, I'm going to do it. I don't think I have enough space here to create another... another eye. Like, it actually looks like there's so much space. I think she just shaved the berms. Shaved, like, up to here. I think it'll help me to do the hair. So she's like this. That is not enough space to put an eye! How does she, like, look ass fucking sideways this whole time? Nice. I got the whites done. Is that even in line with my own? Yeah, it's actually pretty straight. Look at me. Yeah, it looks good. Let's fix my eyebrow and make it backwards. Yo, that shit's fire though. Backwards brows. It's going to catch on. Oh, no. That's too much brow. I don't have enough room. You look like a husky. Is that good? Does that look like enough? Yeah, it does. How's that? That's better. Looks like really good. Let's give this bitch a little bit of blush on her cheeks. Oh, she's just a tiny face. Let's give her some liquid eyeliner. Oh, fuck yeah, bitch. Now we got to do her mouth. There's a cockroach right there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Watch it fucking crawl in. I'm going to die. Should I just vacuum it? I know. I got to get out. I'm fucking triggered. It's going to work. It's going to work. Stop. Cockroach lips because we can't find it. All right. Let's give her like a beautiful red lip. She does kind of look like me. All right, Julian. Oh, my actual God. It looks horrifying. Hey, girl. It's me. How you doing? All you need is help. You're pushing like this. Like, why don't you dump it? Oh, my God. Okay. I'm getting like so disoriented staring out of the side of my life. How long? Lips are a little red. Batman logo-y, but good. Are you the art police? That's fine. What's her name? Yeah, Torpol. Her name is Torpol? Torpol. Torpol? Torpol. P-R-P-V-L-E. Torpol. That's not a name. What happened to you? Torpol, look at me. You understand, don't you? E-P-P. So creepy. How you doing, baby? Oh, my God, no. E-P-P. Oh, Torpol, no. E-P-P. E-P-P. Come give Torpol a kiss. That got me a new man. Well, I have to go because I've not only fucked my face up, but there's a cockroach lost in my house somewhere. And we gotta burn it down. It's time to burn the house down, Julie. When we sleep tonight, he'll probably just be crawling in our mouths. Oh, my God. I'm not gonna be able to sleep. Torpol doesn't have to worry about that. Torpol's mouth doesn't open. You guys tweeted the pictures of me, so I did them, and I hope they are pleased with yourselves. Make sure you subscribe to my channel. I'll put on a video on Wednesday slash Thursday. I'll see you guys next week. Is Torpol your new girlfriend? She's just literally and figuratively my side piece. Oh. Sips wine, walks hamster on a lead. No, I'm not embarrassed. I'm just painting the face from the fish that I painted on it because I'm Jenna and I'm Thorny. I have a hamster and I have a basketball game tomorrow.