 One of the narcissist's most disturbing tactics. The narcissist will abuse you in front of other people, but other people may not be aware of it. Because they're using a tactic known as dog whistling or directed conversation. So while you may be triggered or offended, other people are unable to hear it. They only hear regular words. But even though the narcissist is triggering you and defending you, you may still treat them as if they have behaved properly. Because you know they're just going to deny it, or you may try to talk to the other people about it. But by doing that, you look crazy. Because the dog whistling was not intended for them. So they didn't hear anything unusual, because it was only intended for you. It was a script that they had arranged in advance. They made it seem like they were having a conversation with someone else. But it took place within your year short. Their scripted communication was intended for you and only you. The narcissist set it up just so you could hear it. But they pretend like it's a private conversation. While making sure that you hear it, because they want you to hear it, it's done to weaken you, to make you lose courage and confidence, to make you lack order and stability. And they may even pull other people into it. Other people may be aware of what the narcissist is doing. And if they are toxic, they may even participate in this game. Dog whistling is a form of bullying. It's designed to hurt you and make you feel less valued. And it's also a form of gaslighting. Because if you confront them on it, they will deny it. Which may cause you to doubt your own memory, perception and sanity. But sometimes it's just you and the narcissist. And no one else is aware of it. Maybe the narcissist is very flirtatious. But this time they promised that they wouldn't flirt with anyone. So you go out together to a restaurant. But then you see the narcissist talking to someone. And they're smiling. They're doing that thing they do when they're attracted to someone. But to everyone else, it may look like they're just being friendly. But you see through it. Because you've seen them do it before. So they already know that you're aware of what they're doing. And they're using it to hurt you. They will use certain words and phrases to set you off. To make you angry or upset. To make you feel crazy. But no one else will hear it. No one else will be aware of it. It's a message that has an understandable meaning for you and only you. But to everyone else it may sound like regular words. It's very covert. It's under the radar. These normal words have a hidden meaning. They will use catch phrases that only you can understand. Without them having to openly admit that they don't like something about you. Or that they're against you. It's done in the form of coded language. So that only the target is insulted by it. Dog whistling is like an inside joke. But it's not funny. It's harmful. It's understood only by people with special knowledge about it. Only by people who are in the know about the details of it. But it's not done to make you laugh. It's done to hurt you. You may have confided in the narcissist about how you're not making much money. And you have a lot of bills to pay. And then in another conversation with someone else. They will start talking about their friend and how much money they're making. Which may seem innocent to other people. Because they're not putting it together. They just think they're saying something nice about their friend. So you may avoid confronting the narcissist to avoid looking crazy or paranoid. But they are using these words and topics to get under your skin. While making it look like they're not doing anything unusual. They will trigger you in front of other people by saying specific things that will make you angry or upset. Narcissists can dish it out. But they can't take it. So you can give them a taste of their own medicine by using their own tactic against them. Narcissists are very sensitive to dog whistling. They're very aware of any insults or slights. But I wouldn't recommend doing that. Because then you're just feeding into it. You're going deeper into the rabbit hole. And it can be difficult to find your way back out of there. So don't play the narcissist game. Because you're not going to win. They've been manipulating people their entire lives. They've had a lot of practice. While you're more inclined to please people and make them feel comfortable. You don't like to hurt people. So if you try to manipulate them, it's going to hurt you. If the narcissist uses dog whistling against you. You need to use the gray rock technique. Observe don't absorb. Respond don't react. Don't give them any emotion. You may feel the emotion. And that is normal. But do not show it to them. Because if you react to them emotionally, they will continue to do it. If you are being targeted by several people who are using the dog whistling tactic. It's only going to get worse. It's going to spread and contaminate other people. But you need to remember that they are the problem. Not you. Normal healthy people don't engage in this type of behavior. When you spot dog whistling. It means you're dealing with narcissists or toxic people. And they have created a toxic environment. But the only thing you can do now is escape. You may need to find a new job. You may need to find a new social circle. You need to avoid anyone who would drop their moral standards far enough. To engage in dog whistling. To trigger you. To shame you. They will find someone else to play these games with. You need to walk away. Thank you for watching. I hope this video is in with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching.narcsurviver.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.