 And so for you, I mean like the 21 convention and really the main message of is everything is to be The ideal man as much as possible. Where do you see masculinity today? You know, what what is that ideal man today? What is the ideal man and where is masculinity? I think that they're two different things start start with the first one What where is masculinity today? Or what I think it's I think it's in where is it today? I think collectively as a society. It's I'd say it's probably in a worse place than it was a couple of years ago Just from you know, I suppose things on Facebook People kind of disappoint me a little bit, you know things that that men do and and say and you know, I just think there's this culture of Trying to dumb down men or make men less men manly I suppose and you know It's it's it's guilt for sexuality and I'm talking obviously mainstream media here You know things like imposed guilt of sexuality and you know, let's be feminists and this and I don't know It's in an interesting way and and you know, I think you're probably more qualified to speak on the topic than I am But I don't know if I'm more qualified, but I'll have more to say But I suppose what are your thoughts on it? Hey, yeah I mean, you know, I think that there's no rules for sexuality and even Imposing an identity of masculinity or imposing identity on femininity on anybody is not right But you can actually say well look we see men do this we see women do that and if there is a definition In fact, you I forget what you were talking about But somehow we talk about this a lot like in all the podcasts and everything that I do and everything that I'm involved in You look for your ideal you have that there and then you go and live life You know life you kind of wind around or whatever, you know, you do all this crazy stuff But every once in a while you got to look up to that ideal and say am I moving in that direction? But moving in a straight line through experience never happens, you know, it just never happens So you got it you got to allow yourself to experience but in the road to masculinity Yeah, I think there's a lot of BS out there and you know, I think it's it's a lot of the internet chatter So I would say that may not be how everybody thinks but it's part of the internet culture But if you see those people face-to-face, they may not be living that way but the sad thing is is For things that people don't talk a lot about like things like sex and violence. I just did this thing with that aching podcast with that aching who is 21 convention speaker, but he did stateside in 2012 and he's gonna be the 2014 one We're talking a lot about violence. Nobody talks about violence. Guess what nobody talks about sex So then there's men, you know coming into these feelings of anger, which happens in women too, you know Coming into these feelings of anger coming into these feelings of rage coming into these realities of life that happened And then we're supposed to act a certain way or if we feel them. There's guilt attached to them you hid Once we had gotten in a conversation and I definitely don't mean to implicate anything with this But you had said something about the Madonna whore complex and I was like man totally You know if somebody gets sexually aroused for something, I mean you that happens That's because what a human being does and sometimes that when you're in that mindset of in that state of sexuality and You do something that you wouldn't do socially. I mean you wouldn't do when we're sitting here talking I have a completely different brain completely different hormones I'm thinking in a different way and in the same thing actually happens in violence And we were talking about this with PTSD with Ed is it's on the rise and it's on the rise Because guys don't know how to deflate, you know guys don't know how to talk about it There's no outlet to talk about it. You go to war and you you Keep those thoughts private, you know, you don't have this decompression You know Forum to talk about it the day that it happened, you know And so we've moved into this culture where we're uncomfortable talking about things which were very normal and natural for us to do Sex as well and we turned it into a trauma and then we have a relationship to it through porn I mean basically with violence and sex. It's porn. It's this Exaggeration that gives us a point of reality to it. That's our ideal. That's what we're looking up to and not our experience And I'd even go so far to say is you can't blame that shit. You can't blame violent movies You can't blame pornography. What's that gonna do? In fact, I'd say personally for myself I learned nothing that helped me from guys in the seduction community about Sexual health and learned it from former porn people or people that came out of the porn industry that you know I ended up doing something with their life because I could relate with them, but Enough about enough about me, but those are my opinions on it. But anyway, that's what I was actually trying to say there Okay, good