 The Narcissist does this at the end of every relationship, whether you discard them or they discard you. The Narcissist always does the same thing at the end of every relationship. They plan for it from the beginning of the relationship. From the moment you first met them, they got you to open up to them. They got you to confide in them. They made you believe that you could trust them. When really, they were taking note of everything you were saying. They took note of your faults and mistakes. They took note of your flaws and imperfections because they knew that this would be useful to them in the future. They knew that they would be able to use it against you. They knew that they would be able to make you look like a bad person. Because at the end of any relationship with a narcissist, that's all they're going to do. They're going to blame you. They're going to make you think that you were at fault. They're never going to take accountability for their actions. In their minds, they can't do anything wrong. In their minds, they're always the victim. So if the relationship ends, it has to be because there was something wrong with you. They're never going to own anything that they've done. They're only going to blame you, but that doesn't mean that they want the relationship to end. Narcissists want to make you dependent on them. They want you to think that you need them because then they can remain a part of your life. They know that no one wants to deal with someone who is just a liability. So they create the illusion of value. They create the illusion that they're bringing something of value to the table. When the reality is, you could get the same thing and so much more from just about anyone else in this world. Which is why narcissists have to exaggerate their abilities and importance. They have to act like they're superior in some way because they understand that there's a lot of competition. They understand that many people would be willing to do so much more for you. So they have to play on your insecurities. They have to make you feel like you're not good enough to be with anyone else. They have to make you think that no one else would want you. Or they will act like you will never find anyone better than them. They will devalue other people and act as though they're not as great as they are. Because all the narcissists really want is control. They want to keep you under their influence and authority so that they can continue to use you to meet their needs. And that is the only purpose for them being with you. If you weren't bringing anything to the table, they would have left you a long time ago. The narcissist doesn't value us as people. They only care about what they can get from us. But then they don't really value what we give to them either. They don't appreciate anything. They can only appreciate things vicariously for other people. Which is why they have a strong desire to make other people envious and jealous of them. It's the only way that they can appreciate anything they have. But the only reason they want to manipulate and control you is because they're getting something out of it. They want to keep you under their spell. Because it's benefiting them in some way. But when you finally wake up, you become a problem. Because now you see who they really are. You see what they're really about. And the narcissist does not like it when you do that. They want you to validate their false self. They want you to make them feel special and important. When you see them as they actually are, they feel like you're going against them. It's very inconvenient for them. And at this point the relationship is likely to end. There is one main difference. At the end of a normal healthy relationship. At a relationship with a narcissist. At the end of a relationship with a narcissist. They are never at fault. When the relationship ends. They will always blame you. It doesn't matter if they discard you. Or you discard them. They are never to blame. They will always blame you. You made their life difficult. You were crazy. And that is why they had to discard you. Or if you discard them. They see it as though you abandoned them. You were very selfish. It's the same story every time. The narcissist is either this hero who managed to beat the odds. Or they're this poor helpless victim who got taken advantage of. They will always blame the other person for the relationship ending. Just as they did with the people before you. Narcissists have a dualistic mentality. They see things in black or white where something is either good or bad. Someone is either right or wrong. And they see it as though if a relationship ends. Someone must be at fault. While the other person must be the victim. So when the relationship ends. The narcissist will always blame the other person. They will always play the victim. Because they don't want to be seen as being at fault. Even if they are at fault. They don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions. While you were with the narcissist. They were gossiping about you to other people. They shared everything that you confided in them. They gave away your personal secrets. When you meet a narcissist. They always want you to open up to them. They want you to tell them about your past. They want you to tell them about any issues you've had. With your family or in past relationships. And you feel like you can trust them. So you open up to them. You tell them everything. But they are taking note of everything you're saying. And they will rewrite it. To suit their own agenda. They will use all of this information as ammunition against you. They will talk about you behind your back. And you may not even realize that this is happening. Until the end of the relationship. But they have been doing it the entire time. They have been tarnishing people's perception of you. They have been trying to make people see you differently. Because they expect the relationship to end. They know you're not going to put up with them. But if they've already primed people's minds. It makes it much easier for them when the relationship finally does end. Because everyone is already thinking that something is wrong with you. The narcissist has already told people all of these things about you. And these people will be very supportive of the narcissist. They will defend them. And they will all point the finger at you. They will all make you feel like you were the problem. Even after everything you've been through. They will invalidate your experience. And they will rationalize the narcissist's actions. Because they've already been preconditioned to see you in this way. At the end of every relationship. The narcissist will always blame the other person. They're never going to hold themselves accountable for their actions. The other person that always has to be at fault. The narcissist doesn't care about how their actions have affected you. They don't care about what happens to you after the relationship. They don't care about the result of their smear campaign. Or the effects that it has on you. None of that matters to the narcissist. All they care about is their image of reputation. All they care about is appearing blameless. As though they didn't do anything wrong. As though they had no choice but to put up with you. And now they just can't deal with you anymore. It can never be their fault. They will always deny or justify their actions. They will always rationalize their decisions to other people. They are always the ones who did everything. While the other person couldn't do enough for them. So in their minds, it's always the other person's fault. The other person doesn't value loyalty or commitment. The other person is selfish and doesn't value their family. But the narcissist is always innocent. They never did anything wrong. They presented a false impression to be with you. And they present another false impression when they leave. They always present this image of someone who enters a relationship to save someone from danger or difficulty. But they always leave people worse off than before they met them. At the end of every relationship, the narcissist will always blame the other person. This never changes. They don't self-reflect. They're too preoccupied with pointing the finger at everyone else than to realize everything that they've done. They're never going to sit with themselves and entertain the idea that they were at fault. They're never going to take responsibility for anything. They will always blame someone else. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you're a lighted Nate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries. You can email me at coaching.narc-survivor.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.