 Here we are at Think Tech Hawaii Studios in downtown Honolulu, and I'm Wendy Lowe. I'm your friend as we journey to take your health bath. We are coming to you live every other Tuesday, so I get one Tuesday off, two Tuesdays off a month, so that helps me a lot because I need to find more great friends like I have right here today. I'm going to introduce you to my dearest friend, my dearest newest friend. So today our topic will be on a discussion with Helen Hayden, and as you recall she was my host and guest along with our director of the station, Jay Fidel, and I just want to say she's back, alright? And so I was watching over when I was in San Francisco, and I was so excited that Helen and Jay had such a great time, and I said you know what, I want to have some fun with my friend, and so I said Helen would you come back today and share your journey because it was such an impactful journey that I need others to really realize, you know, Helen looks like the perfect health, epitome of perfect health. Always laughing, always bubbly, and just dynamic in every day. As soon as you wake up, I mean we were together until like midnight last night, bubbly as heck, having a great time with life, but we're going to dive right into her heart and her life, and she's going to show us a little bit about what she truly experienced. And so I want Helen to share with us her journey towards wellness and optimal health because she has a great one, and we're still on that journey to get her to better and more optimal health. So our takeaway from today's discussion is that you too can take your health back one day at a time. So joining me today is my newest best friend, my BFF, Helen Hayden, welcome Helen. Thank you Wendy so very much, it's an absolute joy to be with you today. Thank you so much for asking me to be on your show. Again, again, but mahalo for being on the show today, and you know in life there are no coincidences. I was praying one day and I asked, you know I work so hard, I just need to have some fun in my life, some crazy, but fun, okay, I'm going to say that other word, but I, so I said I need to have some crazy fun with my life. So can you bring me some joy? I was leaving this think tech studio and this hapahali girl comes walking in and I'm like, hey, and we say hi and we give each other a hug, and I simply ask you, what are you here for Helen? Yeah, it was such a weird day. I was not even intending to come to the studio. My show wasn't coming until later the week, and so I came early and I met you for the first time and it was like we knew each other our whole lives already. Yeah, instant, instant, yeah. And we have been inseparable and had so much fun and it's been so much fun getting you involved in some line dancing over in Nashville. Oh, I know, I know. Yeah. Got my cowboy outfit on, I got my boots on, you got your boots on too. I got my boots on. And what you called them? Oh, dance boots. Yes, dance boots. Dance boots. That's not what I heard you call them earlier, but road stoppers. Yes, road stoppers. And so I prayed and I asked for somebody to just bring joy into my life and more fun. And she told me what she wants to do in her professional career goals. And one of them is that you wanted to start a nonprofit for vets. Yes. And I said, hallelujah, you are my next best new friend. And then we got to talking about other things. And then she says, yeah, and I lined dance. I'm like, you what? And that was, that was history from there. So we've been going to line dance. Yeah. Like on Mondays. Yeah. And you know, this show is called Take Your Health Back with Wendy. And so that's part of taking your health back is doing the activities. Absolutely. And line dancing. I mean, for two hours, we dance from seven to nine. And it's free. It's free. So I mean, being Korean, being Chinese, free. Free. What a deal. Right. The best price, free 99. So we walk in there at seven and we get on the floor and they give us lessons. Well, Helen doesn't need any because she's a professional. So they, you know, you go on your merry way. But for us to newbies, and I invite all of you down, just come and partner with me because I'm there and learning each song in each step. So partner with me. And when you get better, you hang out with Helen. And for two hours, that's what we do. Yeah. And it's a great mindfulness exercise because I tried the traditional mindfulness practice though. Yeah. I don't do that. Yeah. I don't do that very well. You know, focus on a flower for five minutes and you know, whatever. No, I don't do that kind of mindfulness. My mindfulness is on the dance floor. Yeah. Five, you know, two hours solid dancing and just really spending time with quality people. You don't have to drink. It's a bar, no smoking. It's by the water. It's beautiful. Come down to Nashville's Waikiki and Aloha Tower. They moved years ago and just come be part of us, Monday nights and Friday nights. And you know, for you single women out there, I mean, it's a great deal because when you line dance, what does it say? Line dance. You're not partnered up. You're lined up. And so there's no real physical contact unless you want it. But that's an option, right? Yes. And so we get in there within the first 15 minutes. We're like sweating already. We're working up a sweat. We're being very physical. And that's part of wellness, being and doing the activity and not just sitting down all day on the computer watching TV. So that's part of it. And I really want to encourage all of you because we're giving you an open invitation. Absolutely. Come on down. Helen is the best host. The teacher there is Donna. Donna, Donna. And I tell you, but enough about that. So Helen, just reintroduce yourself to the audience. Sure. Tell us a little bit about Helen. Sure. I'm 51 years old. I'm the biggest misconception publicly what a disabled veteran should look like and act like. So I've been a disabled vet since my early 20s, you know? And I started having health challenges then. And when I hit 40, I became diabetic and had hypothyroid issues, started getting sicker more often by the time I was 45. I had two heart stents. People thought for a long time for a year. They thought I was just having panic attacks. And it turned out I had a 95% block and an 80% block. So they stented the two heart, two heart stents. And then as time went on, I started having more problems, ischemic colitis, you name it. It's been crazy. So I just want to show you, this is my bed at Tripler. I swear, I think they have my name on it. That's not a happy thing. That is my most funniest picture because I'm like, you know, to be vulnerable and share some of these pictures with the audience, it's me with no makeup, it's at my most vulnerable time. But I want people to understand when you see people out walking about, you don't know their journey, what they're going through health-wise. You just don't. I present very happy and healthy and bubbly, like you said. But underneath it, I'm still going through medical challenges, right? But you know what? You take one test at a time, one step at a time, one diagnosis. And one thing I learned from the VA mental health side, we'll talk about later, is the diagnosis is not you. It does not define you. It is a condition that you have to learn to overcome or deal with. So the second slide I want to show you, this happened this September. This was my latest and greatest. It's me with Bell's palsy. You win. You win. You know, I woke up. Wow. I woke up and I look like that. Wow. And I couldn't believe it. I thought I was having a stroke. Exactly. It looks like a stroke. It does. Went to Tripler again. And sure enough, they tested me for stroke. But I had a neurologist that said, if you can do this, this is fine motor skills, it is not a stroke. And he says Bell's palsy is very common, especially when the weather changes here. He sees an increase. And a lot of people don't know what Bell's palsy is. Right. But it's a seventh cranial nerve. It gets inflamed. It's all this is. And I took pregnant zone. And wow, I was super blessed because I got cured, obviously. Right. But it was scary. Right. I know people that that has stayed with them. One third, I was told, get worse. One third, stay the same. And one third, get better. Wow. I was super blessed to get better. Wow. What age were you at that time of the onset of the Bell's palsy? This was this last September. I was 50. 50. So the whole idea when I started talking with you, a lot of your health challenges came about when you turned 40. Absolutely. And we all know that life changes at 40. I mean, from the site, you're nearsighted for our site. Everything kind of just changes. The weight doesn't go off as easily. And just different health challenges. So knowing that out to the younger audience, I believe at this generation, it's starting even younger. That is 40. And so we really want to get out the message of people starting to be healthier and take your health back earlier. Not wait until 40, because even for myself at 43, I noticed the weight didn't come off. I felt a little bit sluggish. And I thought, what's going on? And I prayed. And I said, I need help. And that's when I started changing my lifestyle. And I was 43. And that was 16 years ago that I made the health change into my whole lifestyle. And so I really want to encourage more. Not wait until we're 40. You younger generation out there started at 30s. Even like diabetes, huge. You sit on that board and you know the challenges this island faces with diabetes, right? Process foods. I can tell you a quick story. A couple years ago, before I came to Hawaii, I decided to change my life. I did no processed food. I drank water. I walked two miles a day and danced three nights a week. And in four months, I lost 55 pounds. And reversed my diabetes. But as I get older, like you said, the weight doesn't come off as easily. I got sick, gained some weight back. Now I'm trying to work my way the other way. But it's just getting early testing, getting early detection, awareness, education, absolutely. Right. And you know, you hit it right on the nail right there. You know, although you're diagnosed, you don't have to accept it and live with it. It's not your life. So exactly what you said Helen, you were diagnosed, yes. But you then, you dealt with it. And then you did, you took some action. You danced. You danced like there was no tomorrow. And then you had fun. You laughed. Absolutely. And then you did it yourself as a healing process, along with the physical activity that you endured. And then you changed your diet. So your lifestyle, your diet, everything changed up. And then are you diabetic free? Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I'm working on it. Yes. And so with the weight loss, I will get diabetic free. Yes. I know that is to come. Right. My heart, I'm having some more challenges. And that's okay. Worst case scenario, we'll face it if and when it comes. But that's one thing that I learned throughout this health process is don't go internet searching for answers and diagnoses because you'll find tons and just listen to your doctors. Too much sometimes. Do the test that's in front of you, you know, and work your way through the process because you can really scare yourself. And that's what I did originally, but now I trust my care team. I have a whole team and we just take it step by step because we spend so much energy and time on what is that it could never, what if it isn't? Right. We don't think like that. We think what if, right? Right. And so now I just want to encourage people, just take it slow, take it one step at a time. Exactly. And even if it's worst case, like I could be facing open heart surgery. Even if it's worst case, I have support. Right. I have my, you know, my Ohana family here. I have my son and daughter-in-law. I have John. Everybody's here to support me and I'm not walking this walk alone. Right. And that's the other thing line dancing did. It gave me a community of support. Yes. Ohana. Yes. Ohana family. Yes. And they've just been phenomenal. And they check on me. They always make sure I'm going to be there. They ask about me all the time. It's a wonderful feeling. Right. This is the type of caliber of people. Right. I mean, that's the, everyone knows that we all need a buddy, a buddy in life, whether you have a whole line of buddies or a buddy, someone that holds you accountable and that you can hold that person accountable as well. It doesn't have to be a boyfriend or a husband. It can be a best friend. It could be a coworker, that you could just, you know, that knows you well enough that if something looks different about you, they'll recognize it. That's right. And they'll say, hey, are you okay today? And that's what we all need to do. It's really just take time to build on these kinds of relationships. Because if not, who's watching out for who? Right. We're so busy living life and wondering what if. So we really need to stay tuned to ourselves and people immediately around us that we love and we care for. Yeah. And be honest with the people that you're around, right? Say, hey, I have these challenges and these struggles and this is what I need from you. If you see me start behaving or acting this way, you know, to try to mitigate or lessen, especially in a public setting. Right. Because I know as a disabled that I face some challenges publicly that I have to be kind of cautious about. And so I tell people around me all the time, I'm very honest and say, hey, you know what, if I start getting a little agitated or anxious, get me a glass of cold water and say would you like something cold to drink? And I found that that grounds me and it comforts me. So you just work with the tools that you have. That's so important, Helen. You've defined knowing and getting to know yourself and that's so important because a lot of times we're so busy, we don't even know the signs of ourselves. So how can we share that with others and how can we even detect that in others when we are not even mindful of ourselves? So that's very, all these little tidbits out there listening, write it down, watch this video again because you're going to learn so much from Helen Hayden. Looks perfectly bubbly, young best best friend here, but there are some still hidden issues that she's dealing with. We're going to dive more into that as we return from our break. We'll be right back. Aloha. This is Winston Welch. I am your host of Out and About where every other week, Mondays at 3, we explore a variety of topics in our city, state, nation and world and events, organizations, the people that fuel them. It's a really interesting show. We welcome you to tune in and we welcome your suggestions for shows. You got a lot of them out there and we have an awesome studio here where we can get your ideas out as well. So I look forward to you tuning in every other week where we've got some great guests and great topics. You're going to learn a lot, you're going to come away inspired like I do. So I'll see you every other week here at 3 o'clock on Monday afternoon. Aloha. Aloha and welcome to At the Crossroads. I'm your host, Tisha King. You can catch me every Wednesday alive at 5. I'll see you there. Here we are with Helen Hayden, a returning and soon to be a host of her own show again. But we're so excited because she has a health journey that really wanted to bring to you again because as I keep saying to my best friend here, she looks like the epitome of health, cheerful, always smiling. But inside there's still some health challenges that she needs to face and deal with and conquer. And the main thing is that she's aware of these things going on within her and she's making a change in her lifestyle and changes that I'm so happy for you about. She's doing the actions and the activities, which is physical activity. She goes out line dancing two to three times a week for two to more hours a night and that's exactly what we should be doing and it doesn't cost anything because it's at Nashville's and it's free and he has a good time. And he has a Ohana support system, a line of buddies around her to get her through the night to just put her in a great spirit and a mood so the next day she even starts it off a better Helen. So welcome back Helen. Thank you Wendy. Yeah. So you know I wanted to just share with the audience what is your ethnic background? I'm half Korean. My mother's Korean. I was born in Korea. My father's a white boy from West Virginia Army and I traveled and then I joined the Army and never thought for a minute that I would ever become a disabled vet. I was a dental lab tech in the Army and when I asked people what kind of disabilities you think a lab tech gets and I don't have any of those. It was not about that. Basically my challenge just started with the military because I was misdiagnosed. I was not treated for endometriosis which led to very big complications down the road. For the grace of God I have my son but after six months after he was born I had to have a complete hysterectomy and it was army negligence. Wow. And so that helped start the journey of understanding my benefits from the VA. Right. I had a service officer that helped me and educated me. They took me under their wing and really helped me in my journey so for 25 years I've been a veterans advocate helping others just passing it along. That's what attracted me to you. When you told me I want to save a vet a day I'm like whoa, you're my best friend. I found my buddy because that's the area that I really wanted to address as well and with your passion and your knowledge and your experience I was just so blessed to receive you as a friend and I know that this is just the beginning that we're going to make headway with the vets and making their lives more purposeful. Yes, definitely. That's your heart as well. Definitely because what I found is I've been on Island since August of 2016. There's a lot of misinformation out there and I tell everybody you know go to the source va.gov the websites are wonderful but I wanted to show them in case they did not know to go to the VA Pacific Island healthcare system. They call it the ACC that's the picture of where we all go to get the healthcare that we need. The big pink building but it's on the left side of Tripler when you face Tripler you go around the corner there's a parking garage across the street and that's where you that's where all the healthcare is taken care of and a lot of people get very confused because there's two components at Tripler for VA that's the healthcare side then they have the benefits side which is the next slide in the E wing and that's where you go and that's when you first come up the hill pass the gate guards and you take the left you can't go any straighter you take the left at the end and it's the first right right there it's the end of the building it's the first thing you will see it's E wing that's where the benefits side is and that's where the service organizations are and that's where people need to go to get educated on benefits I tell people all the time VA is great don't get me wrong but these service organizations American Legion Disabled Veterans Purple Heart Wounded Warrior you know VFW they're all there the state of Hawaii they can help them educate them on their benefits help them fill out the paperwork and if something goes wrong then they're there to advocate on their behalf if you go to the benefits side it's you and the VA you don't have that advocate with you so I highly encourage everybody to get an advocate so you know when you go there to either side the lines must be very long yeah and take a ticket take a seat kind of concept hurry up to wait yeah hurry up to wait sometimes you wait three or four hours I've been there with clients that've waited a long time they're doing the best they can with the staff that they have and they are hiring all the time the VA has wonderful help they have wonderful you know packages for employment and they have employment fairs all the time keep your eyes peeled they hire 30, 40 veterans at a time to one of those I went with him and I watched the process it was they screened him they took his resume he got offered a tentative job in two hours flat and within three weeks he was already working at the VA it was amazing process well they're looking and that's the need is there so they need to fulfill that component so they can process more and get these veterans what they deserve the benefits that they deserve as they defend our country yeah and it's a lot of people don't understand that if it's in your medical records you've already earned it now we just got to put the pieces together to make sure that you understand that component and on my show when I do voice of the veteran I'm going to walk people through the step process on what they need to gather and how to approach that that part of it the veteran benefit part of it and maybe I'll have some guests that can explain it yes so starting on the 7th of April at 3 o'clock I get every two weeks I'll be doing a show from me from May 7 and this is my show is a little bit different I really want to hear the voice of the veteran this is our show the way I look at it I'm just the host if you want to be on this show and talk about stuff please contact me at the show and I'll gladly bring you on this is ours services we lose them so if I tell every veteran please no matter what experience you have don't take no for an answer let's try to find a way to make it work let's work with the staff there let's make sure that you get the health care needs that you need taken care of and that brings me you know we talk a lot about physical stuff a lot a lot of people don't know if there's a whole another side and so I just want to touch quickly Wendy you know a lot of people will talk all day long about their physical stuff but the minute you want to talk about mental health you want to clam up and shut down this is not a thing of shame this is not a thing of guilt or embarrassment we have 22 veterans a day dying from suicide we need to start talking talk therapy has been phenomenal for me I'm not saying everybody works but for me it worked the medications did not it was zombie land I aided that it took away my personality so I worked with my providers and said I can't do this is there anything else sure enough talk therapy and I have learned that this is I don't talk enough but I learned that I like talk therapy because it helps process you know with all the health issues that you faced being in the military and being a military family I know your therapy was self induced and it has a lot to do with the ability to share to reach within and share the good the bad the light and the dark and so that's really critical so you have that gift many people out there they can't they can't share their shame or they're just they just don't know they're confused they think it's their fault they don't understand what you're going to bring to the table what you are bringing to the table when you return back to your show is yes give them a voice let them speak out and then you can help them and direct them in the right path to get healed absolutely absolutely because you know I find that a lot of veterans once they start talking it will all come out right but they just got to find that person that they trust right and that's the big key I found therapy that I trusted 16 I was going through another divorce I was a hot mess but you know what I got connected with the VA mental health went to Day Hospital after that Dr. Rob over there was phenomenal after that I went to this program called the Empowerment Technical Empowerment Centers of Honolulu it's at the VA tons of skills tons of support and you know I just can't encourage people enough to utilize these services don't be afraid they even have guitar lessons for veterans and probably hula they do yoga they do art therapy it's not what you think anymore it's not like the old school VA this is amazing dynamic programs yes but and I know we've talked about this before and a lot of people they're not patient so they go in and they want immediate response and like oh you know I get tired of waiting and I don't have time to wait but they do have time to wait it's a process it is it's a process and you know we just have to encourage the listeners out there that if you know of a loved one that is experiencing loneliness or PTSD or just anything that they are looking for services and they don't know of that's out there for them please tune in to listen to Helen's show and you know send me questions you know for the show email me send me questions I would love to just read what you write but one of the things we did a great segue into the last slide because this number right here please make sure you get this number 1-800-273-TALK and if you're a veteran press 1 anybody can call this family member civilian if you have a veteran in your life that is in crisis call that number if you are a veteran in crisis you don't have to be suicidal or homicidal but they will ask you the first question because safety's first for you they need to know and you need to be safe no matter what but I personally have called that number when I have insomnia when I am stressed out about my health issues when I'm stressed about my relationship issues I call that number they are always on your side wow you've got another but this is what it's all about so you know Helen you've been very privileged to understand what services are out there so you tap into that and so the other part now is you want to give back and you want to make sure that they receive the same that you had and so there's one more component of your life that I really want to dive into I know that you're on your health journey so your mind body and soul you know you're working you're working on that and now what makes Helen happy that's the next part of continued healing what makes you happy and what are you going to do now that you're this chapter of your life and you're going to close that part and you're going to dive into another chapter sure I'm super excited so I am going to fulfill a lifetime dream of mine and start producing kimchi yes everybody giggles and laughs but I got to tell you my mother made good kimchi but I make better but I kimchi queen is being launched very soon in the future and I'm super excited because it's a super food and it aligns with everything it aligns with everything that I'm doing and when people eat my kimchi the shredded especially they seem to love that one when someone comes up to you and says this is the best I've ever had in my life you made a difference in that person's life yes and that aligns with what I really believe in whether it's through veteran care whether it's through sharing food sharing line dancing I want to give that person that gift that I got right that amazing feeling of just wowness yeah and so that's the whole thing when you eat your kimchi you're not just even eating probiotics you're eating all her love and everything her mana is coming out into this kimchi that's going to go into you and so you're going to be joyful happy and bubbly just like my buddy over here so but you know Helen time's up we just talk for two hours and it's done right now so we have to say bye-bye to all the audience and just thank you Wendy thank you so much BFF wing movement wing movement so we'll say goodbye to you and we'll look for you on your show on Wednesdays on Tuesday on Tuesday at three o'clock three o'clock so we'll see you then hello everyone