 from coast to coast. Music played for your dancing entertainment of a Sunday evening. Music identified by the theme song and his own composition, Stairway to the Stars. That would be rithms by Matty Malick in a swell orchestra. Also the unique octet, which is included in the orchestra, playing here from the smart atmosphere of the Florentine Room, the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, Southern California, we're out here on the west coast. Tonight you'll hear vocals by Little Genie Ireland. Matty Malick presents first, Gene Ireland. She's going to sing Cole Porter's tune from the picture Broadway melody of 1940. I've got my eyes on you, Matty. Service from our eastern studios is not yet available. Therefore, we are unable to bring you the program scheduled for this time. Jack Benny presented by Jello. Until these circumstances will enable us to do so, we continue with a musical program. Hurry up and get your mother. Will you call Mama, please? Okay, I'll wait. How do you like the cake, Mr. Benny? Oh, it's swell, Dennis, and the candles are all lit, aren't they? Well, blow them out, Jack, it's your anniversary. Okay, hold it steady, Dennis. Here goes. Hmm. Well, you got one of them. Yeah, hold it closer, Dennis. Here you are. What's the matter with me, I guess? What's the- As I'm trying to blow out these candles. Well, I'm ashamed to tell her. I'll get them, don't worry. Listen, Mama, couldn't you come in to New York tonight? The only chance I'll get to see you. See him flicker, fellas? Well, everybody else likes me. Now, hang up. All right, goodbye, Mama. See you tomorrow. We should stop asking your mother what she thinks of me. She's always got those same two words. And what a delivery. Well, I don't like it. Now, Dennis, it's about time for a song, so go ahead. Okay, Mr. Benny, aren't you gonna blow out the rest of the candles? Never mind, just sing your song. Everybody's so worried about me. There, that got him, dog-gullet. Here's a chair, Jack, you better rest for a while. Thanks, kid. And, Dennis, this is the last number you're going to do from New York. Next week, we'll be back home in California. Gee, it'll be good to see the sun again, won't it? Now, wait a minute, Dennis, it might have been raining and cloudy most of the time, but the sun was out all day today. It just got back from Miami. Announced last week. Hey, Jackson, how do you spell St. Moritz? Oh, ladies, and Phil, next time, stay at the YMCA. It's already spelled out for you. Gentlemen, as we announced last week, tonight, the Benny, we can dish it out. Can you take it, players? We'll present their version of that well-known Wednesday Night Taffy Pull, the Fred Allen Show, the hour... Thank you, Rebecca. Play the most unattractive part, that of Mr. Allen. Don Wilson will be Harry Von Zell, and Phil Harris will be Peter Van Steeden. Do you think you can handle a part, Phil? I don't know, I'm a little more intelligent than Van Steeden. Oh, you are. Well, why don't the two of you get together and spell St. Moritz? I'll give you a clue, one Z. Now, let's see, who else do we need? Am I going to be in a jack? Yes, Mary, you're going to play the part of Portland Hoffa. Well, that's the best Hoffa I've had today. Mary, let's not get into Allen's type of material too soon. Now, Dennis? Yes, please? In our play tonight, you're going to be a bottle of Salopatica. So go over in the medicine chest and sit down. OK. Oh, boy, Salopatica, wow! What a kid. Gee, I wish I could be that happy. You could never do it on what he makes. Well, I guess we're just about set now. But, Jack, how are you going to play the part of Fred Allen? Isn't that some answer I gave her, though? Is that so? She's got a fast-forward trigger. Gee, I thought quick, then. I don't know how you're going to play the part of Fred Allen. Jack, you know, your voice isn't anything like his. My voice is not like Fred Allen's. Well, down all I have to do is put a clothespin on my nose. I've got one right here. And now, folks, this little satire will go on immediately after the next number, which will be played by Peter Van Harris and his dead panda troubadours. Hit it, boy. Played by Peter Van Harris and his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our tabloid version of that Wednesday night weenie bake, that sand in the spinach of life, the Fred Allen show. Mary, hand me that clothespin. Here you are, Jack. I want to alanize my nose here. One second, wait till I get that clothespin on. See, one second. Me, me, me, me, me, me. That's him all right. OK, let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Harry Von Wilson, welcoming you to the hour of groans. 60 minutes of eggs and music. Eggs with our star comedian, Fred Allen. Music with Peter Van Harris. And our three songbirds, the merry mocks. So done, that New England boy will come. And good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You know, Harry, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the studio tonight. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I was walking down 6th Avenue, and a pan handler asked me for a dollar bill for a cup of coffee. A dollar bill? Yeah. He claimed there was a hole in his pocket, and a coin would slip through. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Thank you, folks. Thank you. Well, so much for good clean fun. And now, let us turn to the latest news of the week. Harlem, New York. This dusky community is still carrying out a celebration for Rochester Van Jones, Butler to Jack Benny, the radio comedian. Ho, ho, ho, ho. The news of the week interviews Mr. Van Jones. Pardon me, Mr. Van Jones. I'm a reporter, and I'd like to ask you a few questions. Tell me, are you enjoying your stay in Harlem? I must be. I can't find my hotel, either. Now, Mr. Van Jones, I understand you're in the employ of a Mr. Jack Benny. Is that correct? I work for him, all right. Now, what sort of a man is Mr. Benny? He's very pleasant, there. See, well, is he hard to get along with? Oh, no, sir. He's the finest man I ever met. Hugo, Hugo. Now, now, there are rumors, Rochester, that Mr. Benny is rather tight, and you have trouble getting your salary from him. Is that true? Oh, no, sir. He not only pays me handsomly, but frequently. I see. And you're sure all of this is the truth? Definitely. Well. That clothespin don't fool me none. Thank you very much, Mr. Van Jones. And I'll see you later. So long. So long, boss. That was Peter Van Harris playing something or other. And now, ladies and gentlemen, if I may be so bold. Oh, Mr. Allen? Well, look who's here. I'll be darned if it isn't Seattle. Hello? Quite a reception you got, Tacoma. What's on your mind? Oh, Mr. Allen, the funniest thing happened to me on the way to the studio tonight. I was walking down Sixth Avenue, and a panhandler asked me for a nickel. Only a nickel? Or you gave him. Well, that's very funny, Hoboken. And I wish this eagle would get off my hat. Shoot. Now, what about our guest tonight? He's right here, Mr. Allen. And his hobby is the most unusual one. A ring? As long as I could hold that one. That woman is an amateur street cleaner. Well, that's very interesting. How do you do, sir? Hi, it's Jim. Now, young fellow, how did you happen to develop such an unusual hobby? Well, I say it, Jim. I'm walking out of sleep, wasn't they? And all of a sudden, I see some mug in the top hat throw away a longie. A longie? Yeah, a cigar. A butt that has possibilities. So I picked it up, and I've been doing that ever since. Oh, you're a bum. Well, one more won't hurt this show. Now, tell me, my retriever of nicotine. Oh, oh, oh. I'm always ad-libbing, folks. Tell me, what type of man throw away stokies with the greatest possibility of salvage? Well, bankers, mostly. Less than a while, I get some actors. Yes, actors are notoriously carefree. Oh, but Jack Benny, that guy don't throw him away till his fridge wake is on fire. Ho, ho, ho. And scram. Thanks for coming up. Now, get out. Queen fellow, wasn't he? Now, Harry. Yes, Fred. As the farmer said to the horse, Steve. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Now, where's my plug? Ladies and gentlemen, we now take you to a typical American home. The husband speaks. Oh, Lulu, where's that tube of IPANA? It's right there, honey. Right behind that bottle of cellophatica. There's nothing behind me. Dennis, screw your top on. Well, Lulu, I want to brush my teeth. All right, then run down to the drugstore and get some IPANA. Young man, as long as you're on your way to the drugstore, don't forget to stop at your neighborhood grosser and buy a package of Jell-O. I'm going to make it come in six delicious flavors. You tell them, Harry. And remember, young man, insist on genuine Jell-O. Yeah, we both do it on the best players on the bar. Thank you so much for sponsorial spouting. Ho, ho, ho, ho. And now, ladies and gentlemen, our own musical madcaps, the Mary Mux, will render a special arrangement of that popular song entitled, She was only a three-surgeon's daughter, but her shape was oak. Go ahead, Mux. Ma, he's making eyes at me. Ma, ma, ma, he's awful nice to me. Ma, he's almost breaking my heart. I'm beside him. Ma, he wants to marry, marry, marry, marry me. Oh, be my honey. Oh, be, bust around, bust around, bust around. Every minute he gets folded, now he's leaning on my shoulder. Ma, he's kissing ma. He's kissing ma. He's kissing ma. He's kissing ma. He's kissing ma. All right, for heaven's sake. My goodness. Well, we gotta break it up tonight. It's Sabbath. It's sung by the Mary Mux, and now, ladies and gentlemen, oh, my goodness, look at that man in the control room waving his finger at me. Our program is running overtime, folks, but that always happens. But we still have a few minutes left for the question of the week. This is Mr. and Mrs. Average Man's round table where three persons selected from our studio audience are invited to give their opinions on a question that concerns some prominent issue of the day. These little sessions are entirely unrehearsed. Oh, yeah? Portland, continue, Harry. Fred now takes his place at the round table where he meets his fellow debaters for the first time. Ready, Fred? I'm all set, Harry. Where are the three participants tonight, Portland? Right there, Mr. Allen. The first one is Mr. Orange and Brew of the Franks. Good evening, Mr. Brew. Howdy, folks. Stevens of Bombshell, New York. Well, glad to have you with us, Ruby. Boo. Oh, Ruby, boo. Ain't I clever? Now, who's our third guest, Portie? The name is Blush. What's your name, Mr... Mr... Jerk Finkel. Oh, fine. Yes, the name is Logan Jerk Finkel. Well, I might as well make the best of it. Now, Logan, here's the question of the week. With me, kid. Right here it is. Do you think the National Labor Relations Board presents the optimum hope for the... Oh, my goodness. There's that man in the control room again with all my ad-libbing and everything. I suppose we won't have time for the question. Well, I'll find out. Have we got time for the question, Tommy? I don't know. Hey, Eddie, have we got time for the question? I don't know. Hey, Bill, have we got... Let's play, Peter. I must stop this ad-libbing. Ladies, do you ever find yourself at a loss when it comes to thinking of something new for dessert? Well, there's... Here's something that you'll be mighty glad to know about. A few months ago, we introduced on this program a swell new jello recipe. It's called Jello Pudding Whip. Perhaps you've already tried it, because judging from the letters we've been getting, practically everybody has. But just in case you haven't heard about it, I recommend Jello Pudding Whip as a mighty special treat, and one that's downright easy to prepare. Here's how it goes. Take one package of jello, any flavor, and one package of jello vanilla pudding and make them up as you usually do. Then chill the jello and whip as directed on the box. Next, chill the jello vanilla pudding and add it to the whipped jello, beating constantly until blended. Then mold and get all ready to enjoy something really distinctive, really delicious. It's a treat that's truly out of the ordinary. Next time, some special occasion calls for a special dessert. Remember Jello Pudding Whip, a unique combination of creamy jello vanilla pudding and jello. Good night, everybody. Good night, Joni. See you Wednesday. This is the National Broadcasting Company.