 Hello and welcome to another edition of Frightfully Forgotten Horror Movies and today we have a Patreon request by Jason Willis, who would like us to cover 1986's Spookies! So Spooky starts out with this big monologue by this kind of undead, old balding Dracula type guy, your name Dracula. And he's talking to this coffin, his bride died early, too young, you'll come back, I'm gonna bring you victims. You'll be reborn. Yeah, we then see a kid walking through the forest, muttering to himself that it's his birthday, people forgot his birthday, he runs into this guy just sitting on some tree in the middle of nowhere, and all this denim, this denim and den guy, and all this fucking gene, everything. What are you doing here kid? My parents forgot my birthday and nobody cares about me and this and that, and the guy's like, you got a light for an old man? The kid has a lighter for some reason. He's not that old. Not really. Then the kid takes off after, and this guy right away gets jumped on by this steam and werewolf kind of thing with this hook and he just claws the shit out of him, tears him to ribbons. We then get introduced to two groups of people in two separate cars. None of them seem to really like each other all that much in the either car, bitching about each other. They got kicked out of this party and this one guy's kind of drinking and everything. Duke. Yeah, the Duke. Yeah, the Duke. Yeah, A number one. Not this guy though. This guy's anything but A number one. That werewolf guy knocks down a tree in front of the cars, the cars have to stop. Do you kind of think something's going to happen? Nothing happens. They just move the tree out of the way and keep going. The kid meanwhile makes his way to this big mansion and he goes inside where there's like cake set up. There's like a whole birthday setting set up for this kid and he picks up this big heavy box and he's like, what is there? A bowling ball in here and he opens it up. There's some head all in the box. Happy birthday, Billy. He all drops the box and takes off. Kid takes off into the woods and gets chased down by that pirate werewolf thing, pushes him into this grave and starts like burying this kid alive. For what reason? I don't know. These people come across this mansion when the girls find this kind of witch board and start using it, right? And this woman gets all possessed and turns into like this demon. The whole group gets freaked out by this and disperses throughout the mansion in groups and start going to all the different rooms and everything to try to get out and figure out what's going on. In the meantime, this stupid balding Dracula ass hole is like, oh my love, I've brought you souls. I won't let them leave. The shitty Dracula guy won't let these people leave. In every room they encounter some sort of demonic thing that won't let them leave that they have to battle. And that's where we're going to end the plot. Jason Willis asked us to cover Spookies, but I've been trying to get you to watch this movie for ages. You got all obsessed with baking and everything. I just couldn't get it across to you. What can I tell you? I was busy, man. Bread takes time. Man, nobody understands me. I bust my ass in the kitchen for you people baking bread. And what do I get? Watch Spookies. Man, fuck you. Fuck you all. I like Spookies. Man, I got stuff to bake, you know. What do you think this is? A fucking costume? This is a way of life. Oh yeah. Man, fuck off, you know. Why don't you have some respect for the bread? But do I really like Spookies? Let's find out. Is it trash or treasure? Well, that'll bring us to the treasure of this movie. And actually, one of the things that this movie beats out for a lot of 80s movies is the effects slash the makeup and creature designs. Man, it's one of the most top notch things out of the 80s. For a low budget movie. This movie's a low budget movie. Yeah. Yeah. The effects are just top notch. Just some of the creature designs. You got that possessed woman. The Ouija board looks great. The werewolf pirate guy looks really good. Like, you don't see any flaws in the makeup. It looks legit. It looks like a wolf. I don't know what it's supposed to be exactly. I'm not quite sure. But it looks good. Yeah. It looks, it's a good design. Those farting cement creatures in the basement that come up from the floor. Yeah, those look really good. They look good, but the sound kind of sort of spoils it a bit, but they look really fucking good. Yeah. And they look scary too. Yeah. Crazy Japanese spider monster thing. Oh, that blew my mind. Yeah. I think that's probably the best thing out of this entire movie. And that whole segment is really cool too. It starts off where he runs into this weird Japanese woman and she looks sexy and everything. And then she slowly turns into this weird spider thing. And she lures him in like a spider too. You know, lures him deep into that room. And it's like, oh yeah, it's like really fucking good. That little lizard creature thing that attacks that woman in that room. That smoking woman. She's all chained smoking constantly. And that's a cool creature too. It's a little on the cheesier side compared to the other ones. But still, it still looks good. Yeah. Comparative to a lot of things at the time. The music for this movie too is actually really fucking good. It complements the movie on a whole perfectly. It really makes you uneasy and grips you in. Another piece of treasure about this movie is Duke's outfit. Yeah. Like, come on. That 80s. He looks like he's wearing a garbage bag with a white stripe across it. Back is all hairy. You'll see Zass. Oh, so is mine too. I don't know. The first piece of trash about Spookies is the whole story makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Nothing seems to connect in this movie at all. It's one of the most nonsensical fucking things I've watched in my life. It really is, yeah. It starts off with this guy talking all this shit about his bride or whatever. And then some kid shows up at this birthday party in this abandoned mansion. Why did you go to the mansion? Why do you expect her to be a party for you at the mansion? Why is there a party set up for this kid? Why aren't you scared that there's a party for you at the mansion? Yeah. That would freak me out. These people leave a party they were kicked out of and just show up at this mansion. No reason. We don't know why they went there. Nothing makes any sense. Not at all. The pirate werewolf. What's the fucking deal with that? You never explain anything. They don't explain why there's a pirate werewolf. Walking around doing nothing for the most part. Just looking through these windows and then yeah, then we'll go his way. Then he takes off. Then walking down these hallways chatting with that shitty bulbing asshole Dracula guy and then walking around again. That shitty fucking Dracula guy. When he starts talking, it's like he's talking to some sort of tin can. Like, walk him in and read that Dracula guy talks. He's talking to some sort of tin can to his buddy over the fucking treehouse. They don't explain what this old lame Dracula sorcerer guy is hanging out in this mansion. They don't explain his shitty son, that druid son with a blue face and fangs. Another funny thing about that is that he's obsessed with bringing that woman back to life. His bride, his love, the love of his life. But when she does come back to life, she doesn't want anything to do with them. Isn't that their child? So if it was, why doesn't she love him anymore? It makes no sense. Why is she all put off by this Dracula guy? I'll look at him. I'd be put off by him too. I know. What's the fucking guy? But still. He's going through all his hardship trying to bring her back and then she does come back and she's like, fuck you. Just kill me. I'd be all mad and be like, you fucking bitch. Every time they show that shitty Dracula balding asshole Dracula guy, he says a bunch of nonsense and you're like, okay, maybe I'm going to get clued in to like what's going on. You're like, no, he just said a bunch of nonsense. That means nothing to me. And the pacing for this movie doesn't give you enough of a payoff in between kills to make it worthwhile. That's one of the biggest problems. There's no explanations. I need a little more with these characters to want to care about the reason why they're dying. There's a lot going on. There's a lot in this movie. There's tons happening as far as like all the different monsters. But the fact that it's too much and nothing connects and no explanation makes it seem like it's paced slowly. Yeah. Even though there's constantly lots happening. The characters in the dialogue in this movie are horrible. None of them are relatable. You don't sympathize with any of them. You don't like any of them. And you question the existence of all of them. I could have said it better myself. Why are any of them there other than cannon fodder for the monsters? And why are they friends? They don't get along. They don't like each other. Yeah. Why is there two cars of these people who don't get along? And that old guy who like hates everybody. What's he doing there? The casting was just like whoever just thrown in like whoever wants to fucking job. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't even do a fucking reading. They're just like who the first guy at the door. Yeah. Come on. There you go. Acting is so fucking bad. So is Spooky's trash or treasure? A big time trash man. This is I'm sorry Mr. Willis. Into fucking trash heap big time. In fact I'll throw it in the trash heap. Take a shit on it. Stomp on it with my bare feet. I hate it that much. Take a shit on it and roll around in it. Come back in the house. Your wife's like what the fuck were you doing? So much potential. So much potential. And they just shit it away by just not casting it right and not writing the dialogue right. It's like these people. Filmmakers walked into a giant warehouse full of awesome creature designs. Yeah. And they're like let's make a movie with all this. Yeah. But we don't know what we're doing. I don't know how. I know let's not connect the dots. Let's just whatever. Let's do whatever. All these different scenes that are cool standalone scenes that don't connect whatsoever. And it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't tell a story. No. There's no story in this movie. Oh no. There's no overall story arc. No. There's nothing. It's just a bunch of bullshit. It's just a bunch of people walking in their rooms getting killed. We did some digging and it finds out this movie actually was like basically two movies almost spliced together. Yeah. They started making a movie. There was some conflict. They stopped making it and the producers got some other people to finish the movie and shot a bunch of other scenes. Tried to make them work. But it doesn't work. That's the thing and it shows. It shows big time. Yeah. And the funny thing is this movie has a lot of love. A lot of people love Spookies. I for the sake of a stupid sketch pretended I love Spookies but I don't get it. Neither do I. No I just don't get it. It would kind of make a pretty cool Nintendo game but it does not make a good movie at all. Yeah. It's a better Nintendo game than it is a movie. Yeah. Going through the rooms, beating the creatures, all that kind of stuff. It's a Nintendo game. Yeah. It's not a fucking horror movie. And until next time, keep drinking.