 first night of Ramadan and we're having fun but I want to ask you guys how was the first night of Ramadan or the first day of Ramadan was it painful was it normal you know for me it was it was pretty normal because you know I'm a I'm a sinless individual where I love to discipline myself especially during the month of Ramadan but enough about me you know month of Ramadan is an amazing month but with hashtag L&T you just take it up a notch in amazingness that's an award but hashtag L&T were live what did you guys have for Suhoor for me I had kebab with the rest of the L&T family the crew everyone had kebab in the morning but we'll see what we're having for Suhoor tonight but it's 2 a.m. Karbala time 12 a.m. London time 7 p.m. DC time and it's time for hashtag L&T were live baby in the holy city of Karbala let's go kick it off with what's trending and it will be back very short to stay tuned who loves chicken if you do love chicken then you're you in for a treat 24 karat gold chicken wings 50 for a thousand dollars now if you thinking when when someone says gold you think of jewelry earrings necklace ring watch bracelet ankle bracelet whatever no no no we're not talking about jewelry we're talking about food where they mix 24 karat gold with it this is yeah I can even describe that you're rich but your filthy rich when you're eating wings with 24 karat gold wrapped around it or dipped in 24 karat gold now according to them it's it's digested and edible gold so when you eat it and you know when the doctor god forbid if you die the doctor's gonna be a gold digger because he's gonna be looking for that gold but 50 wings for a thousand dollars and people think that KFC is expensive anyways enough with that what else is trending subhanallah an explosive eruption at Hawaii at Hawaii you know Hawaii Hawaii's volcano sent ashes 30,000 feet into the sky 30,000 feet into the sky that's crazy that that's where airplanes fly that's like 10,000 meters up in in in midair but the geological survey says that the eruption took place at 215 or 1415 GMT time today now they have made an announcement that the red aviation code has been given to pilots and air for that is crazy that's crazy that's the aerial shot right there and 30,000 feet so they're telling pilots to not go into that area just in case the ash clouds might ruin the engines of the plane and God forbid get the plane to the ground but anyways enough with what's trending this bowl needs to be filled how it's gonna be filled you're gonna know in just a few minutes take us away welcome back dear viewers now just a nice announcement for you guys if you think the alentee is only Monday Wednesday and Thursday and Saturday it's not we're live 30 nights in Ramadan but to make it even better for you guys this bull right here which we got today this bowl this fishbowl has names inside of it show me show me this yet see the names the people that participated yesterday there's about nine names in there the people that participated in yesterday's episode their names will placed in here and anyone that participates your names will placed in this bowl callers the people that text the people that send audio messages text messages comment on Facebook Instagram all of those stuff when you guys do do those your names will be placed in here and the winner during the live show only so that the preview and the replays no during the live show your names will be placed in here we got slips we got a pen to write your names down so so participants of tonight's show you're gonna get a chance of a free trip to Karbala free trip who doesn't want a free trip to Karbala to come and and and it's it's and you know what's even better it's a free WhatsApp call so it's not gonna charge you a lot all you need is data but anyways let's get cut off with tonight now a lot of people that are watching us right now might have kids and kids sometimes or should I say most of the times they get on our nerves especially me I have a three- year-old Ali Hadi nicknamed a lot we you know I love them a lot we this goes out to you when you grow up you're gonna see that three-year-old I love you Baba but and of course all of us we love our children but sometimes a lot we which is his nickname he gets on my nerves just like how any other parent gets mad when their children don't listen to them or when they say stuff and don't really try to negotiate anything you know for example if he picks up a hot plate and I say don't do that the reply you can say yes daddy I'm not gonna pick that up I'm actually kidding I know he doesn't say that he would he would go pick up the plate and when it drops and it breaks and spills everything in it on his other hand and he gets burned I get mad you know the low man doesn't listen Baba this goes out to you listen to your daddy you know what what ends up happening is me getting angry at what he did because I hate when I see a child getting hurt so I go back to myself I say you know what this is a little child and that's what actually comes me down you can't really be that angry at a child but now slapping and he could make him really learn the lesson that next time if he does touch that hot plate or sometimes he loves he loves doing this is a real story he loves doing this when we're sitting on bed and he wants water he would drink some of the water from the cup from a special cup won't drink from any other cup just a special cup drinks and then pours the rest of the water on the bed why you know I get angry because the bed's all what now he has to sleep next to us but you know you don't need to do that but you know I I get angry but if I do slap him it's gonna leave a scar it's gonna leave a mark a damaging to his personality sometimes which also results into depression but and when I do hit him it may result in him hating me or not loving me anymore forgiving him at the same time might also lead to a being in a position where he keeps on repeating that same mistake so what do I do I want to hear it from you guys what do I do when what do other parents do in regards to punishing their children and that's the question for you guys tonight three two one oh my shah Allah on point should you punish your children tonight's question should you punish your children how you can participate it's very simple you can dial the number shown right now plus nine six four seven seven four zero six seven eighteen thirty six and you can slow and you can let us know what you think about tonight's question you can send us an audio note of an audio message a written message comment on Facebook we are live on Facebook as well so you can go and comment there we are receiving Facebook comments on shah Allah will read them out loud so don't forget whoever participates your names will be in here and I need this full bite tonight I'm kidding but let's take a very short break and we'll back very short so just stay tuned once again we do welcome everybody tonight live from the holy city of Karbala and tonight we're trying to find out what you guys think should you punish your children or not I gave an example of my son earlier a three-year-old who gets on my nerves do your children also get on your nerves I believe 100% so they do so let us know how you discipline your children or should you punish your children that's your question for tonight now let's get into a little bit of a point of should or should you not punish your children now according to debate.org 38% of people say yes you should punish your children and 63% say no you shouldn't punish your children now those who said yes you should the 38% they said that it will teach them a lesson so that means that that father right there who's pinching the ear of his son I don't know if it stays there not but pinching the ear of his son will make him learn the lesson well next time if he does do that same thing again he's gonna know that that ear pinching or a slap or that spank will come to him at the same time kids are creative you know that if they're not gonna do that thing they're they're gonna think of something else you know to piss you off with but kids are beautiful they're very beautiful but those who claim know that punishment isn't the solution to your kids they say that it leaves a depression and the parents should learn other methods to teach their kids a lesson now every parents wants their children to behave and have good manners in front of everyone whether you have a three-year-old in my case what do you have an eight-year-old a five-year-old any children if he's not a teenager you want them to behave properly in front of your guests especially in front of your guests because they're in your house behave well in the mall behave well in shopping centers you don't want them you know going wild you know on like a in the mosque especially in the mosque wow when the Maulana is sitting there giving a lecture all you hear is kids screaming in the next door room or you know someone else screaming and playing so should you punish your children that's a question for tonight now we resort to punishment or return to punishment the consequences as we believe this will set things right and but unfortunately children rarely know or rarely don't know what what's going on they're not understanding the situation that they're in let's not forget you know we were children once and even if we were to go back and look at the situations where we did wrong we're gonna think to ourselves what were we doing because in that state we don't know the difference between what's right and what's wrong and even if we go back to history we'll find when Moses went to the castle of Pharaoh Pharaoh want to see wanted to see if that was a a prophet or not he brought coil lit coil fire and prophet Moses still wanted that fire so he knew that the instincts of a human being as a child they don't know anything about fear they don't know anything about you know being disciplined being in a situation where they're not understanding their own personality yet so that phase right there is very sensitive for the child so how do you discipline your children well according to news 18.com we have a few six points to mention there but before we do that we have a call from Nisreen from Canada go ahead sister Nisreen welcome to hashtag LNT episode two of the special Ramadan series and we are live tonight's question should you punish your children go ahead sister yes hello yes welcome to hashtag LNT and your question for tonight should you punish your children okay how then so what punishment it will be by taking from them what they like mm-hmm and give them the right proper way mm-hmm right thing okay sorry okay so you mean grounding them taking like way their ps3's and and their cell phones and so on and so forth I don't know if you're yes yeah okay okay all right thank you very much assistant history for joining us tonight from Canada and your name I actually wrote your name right here if you can get a close-up on that your name is written right here and it will be placed inside the draw so right here sit up sit up I don't know if you can see that but your name is on this and it will be placed in this bowl so first name for tonight goes into the bowl now we were talking about news 18 calm and how they're mentioning six things that instill good behavior in your children without you actually punishing them now let's go through them number one you need to understand your child you to understand that in that phase that they're in their personality isn't at its best yet they'll do everything for you to grab your attention you know they'll throw water you know I have to go through that my my son loves water I don't know why but he loves playing with water he throws water everywhere everywhere he sees and he has to throw water so just to grab the people tension they hit they sometimes even they imitate and this is very important when kids are small they imitate the things even if you do once they'll imitate it because that they have a free memory which they need to fill up with experiences and with behaviors so they imitate that's very dangerous as well for you to take into consideration that your kids and understanding them as well now number two never raise your voice at them because they don't know what's going on they're not understanding you screaming at them they're not understanding your words they don't they just see you screaming voices coming out of your mouth nothing else they're not understanding you in the best way so try not to not to scream at them as much and you know the era of fathers all the respect to my dad and everyone who has an era of dad they can't seem to understand that when when when we do something wrong right away they'll they'll scream but anyways number three spend time communicating with your children that's very important because one of the main points within a relationship between the father and the son or the father and the daughter or the mother and the son or the mother and the daughter the communication between them the connection of you between you and your child is very important because his personality grows you become a friend a best friend listen to them if they're going through a tough situation listen to them because you really you should be the one cultivating the heart the personality of your child because if they don't find that they're gonna go they're gonna go somewhere else for their heart or for their personality to be cultivated and that sometimes even some majority of the times it's it's it's very dangerous for the child but we just have received an audio message from sister Zina from India my opinion regarding should be punishing a child is I believe that parents desire is of good upbringing of their children never abstain from beating them when required but most intellectuals consider this tyrannical method of upbringing is barbaric and harmful for children and I feel the same a child cannot be reformed through physical punishments perhaps it might have a temporary effect on the child but will very be harmful in a longer run like for example when a child is beaten he gets habituated of barring down his head to torture and force he may perhaps start thinking that force is the only key to success he starts thinking that when one is angry he should beat by giving physical for punishment to the children the parents set an example for them to adopt the tyrannical laws of the jungle in the future lives the children who get beatings develop hate sometimes antagonism against their parents the children never forget the harsh treatment they receive at the hands of the parents and most of the Indian parents do physical punishments on their children's repeated beatings can make a child timid and especially a coward we have a wise hadid from Imam Ali al-Musalam that look man the wise told his son my son if you learn good etiquette when you're young you'll benefit from it when you're older whoever values good etiquette will give importance to it and whoever gives it importance will take the trouble to learn it so being control of yourself while disciplining one must ponder on the same and sometimes not go overboard in the attempts to discipline so I believe is there are many other ways for example against the talent talk to your child you can understand his problem and not take such you know high measures for physical punishment etc thank you very much thank you very much sister Zina from India for joining us and this is your name written down on this paper and inshallah it will be placed let's get this right here name right there all right right there that's it inshallah your name will be placed in the draw second name for tonight going into the bowl now we are receiving a few at Facebook messages I'll read but before that let's check out the public opinion and see what they've said in regards to this and we'll be back to read out the Facebook comments so let's do that Asalaamu Alaikum everyone I'm Dr. Zakaria Abbas from India today's topic for Ramadan is it right to punish a child or not well I am against it because as a doctor I can tell you that in the early adolescence period and early teenage life if you inflict cruelty on the child the child may get into psychological disorders they can be a psychological impact on the child but of course in the early teenage life it is a parent's responsibility to develop a positive and a friendly relationship with the child you need to know and understand that you can be a good friend and once you do that the child himself is going to share everything with you you need to develop that rapport after teenage life when a lot of youth gets into you know bad habits like smoking weed smoke smoking cigarettes or alcohol then it is your responsibility to stop that you need to find out where the child is using the money from if it's your money it is your responsibility to cut the pocket money okay Asalaamu Alaikum this is Tanveer from Bangalore India well this topic is a pretty large topic to talk about a quick two pointer about is one being a being Shia follow Ahlul Baith's teaching in terms of the various stages of learning the way Guaruglu 7 up to the age of 7 let the child be free 7 to 9 you got to restrict your kid 9 onwards you got to be a friend now this is point 1 point 2 is punishing and disciplining are two different things they're two different words punishment is needed it's like a game in a game if you do not have restrictions the game cannot be a game that applies everywhere that's about it thank you thank you very much for those who join us tonight from the public opinion telling us what they think in their opinion should you punish your children now just to go through very quickly so we can go check out the expert and what they have said and go to will read out some of the Facebook comments that are coming in but number four on the list of how to instill good behavior with any children while not punishing them physically now number four is help them solve their problems a lot of the times you need your child to for them to hold on to their personality or for them to grow their personality and that can be achieved by you giving them the ability to solve problems on their own which is very important help them but make sure for them to to for them to hold to for them to resolve their own problems number five teach teach them how to handle their emotions and that's important as well you know not not for little kids but for older ones as well teach them this is very important teach them how to handle their emotions and how to express them their emotions to you become a very close friends to them that connection between you and your child number six teach them patience and teaching the patients has to be from you you have to be patient for your child to be patient you have to be really calm for your child to be calm as well and that's goes out to me first before it goes out to everyone but let's read out one comment on Facebook and I will go to ask the expert Hassan Ali he says children should be punished not physically but in a way that makes them understand their mistake hoping to win the trip to Paris inshallah inshallah your name and all the others that commented that commented not saying Salam Ya Hussain no no no that commented saying answering giving the opinion on tonight's question so saying Salam Ya Hussain we're not gonna put you in the draw but let's ask the expert very quickly and we back very short I'm just talking about the number Ramadhan Mubarak should parents punish their children this is one of those age-old questions children indeed like adults definitely do benefit from an environment where there are clear boundaries and there's a structure there are certain rules or guidelines that should not be violated either by themselves or someone else and they expect that someone who violates those boundaries will somehow be punished or will not be rewarded because this is just and fair this is part of the innate human nature nature we do need some sort of boundaries and it is a form of abuse not to discipline children at all just let them run wild because this is something they need but of course when we talk about punishing someone per se sometimes that has a bit of a negative connotation we might not always be talking about doing things that are in someone's best interest or to help them grow but rather we might be talking about control or lashing out emotionally or offloading our own emotions or doing things to children or people because we don't know how to handle the situation and that's it's human but it's not necessarily a good thing and it on a long-term basis it's not going to really help the child develop the sort of behavior we'd like or to really result in a good long-term relationship so some form of discipline and boundaries is good but of course how to do that is something that's going to vary a lot from case to case one of the truisms of life is that we find it much easier to tell people what they're doing wrong than to tell people what they're doing right this again it's the same for children and adults whereas the reality is we respond much better to people who are telling us what we are doing right it doesn't matter if I'm a four-year-old child or a 40-year-old child my inner child likes to be told that I'm good and I'm successful and I'm doing a good job and it makes me want to do more now of course when talking to a four-year-old that's going to be praising different behaviors but nonetheless that's an extremely effective way to instill desired behaviors in children or even in animals incidentally however it does usually take more thought it is a bit more of a challenge to identify what is going well it's usually difficult to see what is going wrong but that can sometimes help as well rather than necessarily always having a dynamic of trying to keep someone in control also it is important that expectations are communicated clearly to children there are certain things we may more or less understand as adults such as behaving properly that might not be meaningful say to a five-year-old or a six-year-old but if you outlined to them specifically what they ought to be doing then it's much easier for them to do it and indeed children are rather remarkable in that they do like to please the adults in their lives so they may try extra hard if it's outlined very nicely so that's a good thing to keep in mind as well now with respect to disciplining children in hadith there are of course different things that are mentioned but one of the things that has always stayed in my mind is related from Imam Musa Al-Qadim when he advises someone who asks him about this that instead of hitting his child he should just separate himself from him for a bit so make the child feel like the father in this case the father is unhappy with him and this is going to be enough to to punish him if you will because it's something that's really going to hit him and then the Imam tells him but don't do it for too long just do it enough to send the message because obviously the child is very sensitive a short time to us might be a long time to them but this is good advice to keep in mind as well from our Imam peace be upon him have a great month of Ramadan and hope to see you soon thank you very much sister Amina and loss for joining us tonight hopefully inshallah we can all get to understand us parents get to understand how to discipline and also instill good behavior within our children there you have it familiar everyone can understand now how to discipline the children and it goes back to your personality and how you want to raise your children thank you very much for everyone that joined us tonight we are getting a lot of comments hopefully inshallah whoever commented on tonight's episode your names will be written down and placed in this drawer right here in this bowl fish bowl right here and we'll have a good night take care waslamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh