 Hey, you, Benny King, you got a minute for an average radio listener? Uh-oh, this week my average listener's a little boy. You don't see your big smiths. I see where I'm going to have trouble with you. I wouldn't say that, Mr. King. Our skids all look up to you. You do? Yeah, you're taller than us. Well, Sonny, I don't mind what you say about me, but please don't criticize my program, will you? I feel toward this show as though I'm my own little baby. Don't look now, Mr. K, but your baby needs a change. Listen, kid, you'd better run home before your mother rents your room. Wait a minute, Mr. K. Don't be so precocious. I'm precocious? Or you're the freshest little kid I've ever seen? No, I'm not, Mr. K. Not really. My father believes in that old saying. Better rod and spoil the child. Well, in your case, I'm afraid he spoiled the child. He had to. Last month I hooked his rod. You're a happy little monster, ain't you? Why are you hanging around here for anyway? On account of they find me out of the pool room. They trun you out? Yeah, forcibly ejected, you know. Yeah, I know. And listen, my little pool room Pinocchio, you can look forward to being forcibly trun out of here, too. Now, wait a minute, Mr. K. If I leave here, I go right back to the Snook Apollo. Would you want to consider it to juvenile delinquency? In your case, you can put me down for 10 bucks, so long, Junior. Thirty-three pine grooves, rendent into one breakthrough. Thirty-three pine grooves, rendent into one. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Dick Joy, introducing the Danny K. Show from Hollywood, presented by the makers of PAP's Blue Ribbon Beer, with Butterfly McQueen, Dave Terry and his orchestra, and our special guests this evening, Mr. Nate Vanuda, and the star of the R.K. Old Picture Cornered, Dick Powell. And now, here's the star of our show. Danny K. Gosh, Danny, your scat singing was wonderful tonight, but wasn't it a little longer than last week's scat? Yeah, I guess my scat had skittens. Well, I really can't blame you for trying to get in your singing first tonight. After all, Dick Powell and Vanuda are both excellent vocalists. Yes, yes, they are, but they're not going to be here tonight. They're not? Why not? Well, I will tell you this much, Joy Boy. They had a terrible experience last week. They did? Yeah. You know, ever since Dick Powell started playing those hard-boiled detective characters, strange things have been happening to him. All sorts of mysterious people keep bothering him. Where's Dick Powell? Dick Powell, I got to see him. Well, just a moment, Mr. I'm Danny K. I got my own troubles. Where's Dick Powell? They told me he'd be here tonight. Well, he was supposed to be here. Park, park, park. I don't want park. I want Dick Powell. I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Powell won't be here. Get to the other, the other. Stop talking and take him. Where is he? Why isn't he here? Where can I find him? Will you please stop firing questions at me? I got to get hold of Dick Powell. Well, don't just stand there. Where is he? Please, Mr. White. Questions, questions, questions. Stop pounding me. I can't stand this miscellaneous grueling. What have I done to decide this? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What has he done? I'm still trying to find out what Mildred Pierce did. You see what I mean, Dick? Where's that man, Powell? Dick Powell, I've got to see him immediately, right away. No. Just a moment, madam. I'm Danny Kay. Oh, you poor man. Dick Powell, it's a matter of life and death. Important, vitally important. But, madam. Oh, it's not only me. I know I don't mean anything to you, but think of the children, the little children. Children? We haven't even been introduced yet. Oh, if only you could have seen little Victor lying in his crib when I left. How can you be so cruel? He is only a baby, a tiny defenseless infant. Oh, that Victor. Well, madam. Oh, I can't bear this any longer. This is insane. I'm mad, boss. There's no sense talking to you. You're just... Who, me? Did she call me a nervous wreck? Me? Nervous? Who's nervous? Not me. I'm fine. How are you? How is who? There's nobody here. What's going on here? Hello, Danny. Hello. I finally made it. I didn't think I could, but I did. Oh, I'm glad you did. I think you are. How did you do? I'm glad you're very... I can't make it, though. Hope I... Who are you? Danny, don't you recognize me? He's not here, I tell you. I don't care what you say. He's not here. He's not... Oh, Danny, Danny, calm down. I'm Bené Benuda. I got my own troubles. I know I don't mean anything to you. Danny, Danny, what are you talking about? Stop firing questions at me. Oh, if you had only seen the children when I left. Children? Children? Oh, Danny, congratulations. Have a cigar. Oh, you should have been poor little Victor Lye there on his pool table. And this micell is grilling. What have I done to deserve all this? What have I done to deserve all this? By the way, what did I do? Not Danny, relax. I realize you've been through a lot this past week. Danny, what have you been through this past week? What's going on here? Where's Dick Powell? No. If you only could have seen the mind of this little kid. Oh, Dick Powell? No, Victor. I mean, I don't know where the... Oh, Danny, Danny, console yourself. Now let's put the whole thing out of our mind. Let's be gay. Yes, gay. That's right. Let's drown our memories in song. I'm too nervous to sing now, Benet. But if you sing, I'll toss in a note here and there. Okay, okay. Okay, Dave Terry orchestrate. Okay, Dave Terry orchestrate. Johnny could only sing one note and a note he sang with this. Yay! Poor Johnny won notes. Sang out with gusto. Just overlorded the place. Hey! But he won notes. Yelled willy nilly until he was blue in the face. Hey! The holding one note was his ace. It couldn't hear the brass. It couldn't hear the drums. He was in a class. Two beat two, I was in and I can best myself. Find out my gum. Bubble gum, double eggs, bubble gum. Can you blow bubble pay? How can you do that? Oh, Danny, that's so silly. You can only sing one note. Well, I want to sing a song and when you sing it, when my note comes along, I'll sing it. Oh, that'll sound peculiar. Don't forget now, don't you sing on my note. Well, all right, all right. Oh, believe me, all those endearing young chomps, Which I gave them so fondly to do today. It's too early to go by tomorrow and fade in. My arms! Gift fade. See one note, sing out with gusto. Just over well all the time. Hey, Miss Vanuda, I thought you wanted to be gay and that was such a sad song. Very sad song. What's sad about it, Dick? Are you kidding? Well, just think of that poor little Johnny one note. Why breaks my heart? The poor little guy with only one single note to sing, when he should have at least 33 fine notes. Just like, like, here we go again. Yes, like blended, splendid, perhaps blue ribbon. You see, our truly great beer is not just one brew or two brews or a dozen brews, but nevertheless, then 33 fine brews perfectly blended to give you the very tops and smoothness in taste, in real beer flavor. That's why you can always order it with confidence, serve it with pride. That blended, splendid, perhaps blue ribbon. Come on you 33 noters, make with that theme song. 33 fine brews blended into one great beer. 33 fine brews blended into one great beer. Now, Danny, for the last time, what happened to you, Miss Vanuda and Dick Powell last week? Oh, I hate to talk about it, but this is the way it was. It all started last Monday. I went over to Dick Powell's house to talk about his appearance on tonight's show. I walked up the front steps and knocked on his door. Hello, Dick. Hello, Danny. Come in. Danny, I'm glad you came over to talk about your program, because there's one thing I don't want to do. Oh, what's that, Dick? Don't make me come in and say my sister married an Irishman, and you say, oh, really? And I say, no, oh, Riley. Oh, well, don't worry, Dick. I've decided to leave that joke out of the script. Oh, really? No, omitted. Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that. Another thing, Danny, I'd rather not pretend I'm a detective. But Dick, the FW Fitch Company sponsors you on the air as Richard Rowe. That's just it, Danny. My listeners are taking me too seriously. I can't live a normal life anymore. Things are happening to me. Like what, for instance? Like that, for instance. Well, look, it's a big rock with a note on it. It came flying through the window. That's all right. It has an air nail stamp. Look, the note says, if you value your life, you will not attempt to follow us to Noon or Orleans on 745 for the day day. Signed. The sin is the six. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here's a PS. What does it say? It says P-A-B-R-R. What does P-A-B-R-R mean, Dick? Please answer by return rock. Oh, Dick, Dick, the most horrible thing just happened to me. Just a moment, Vinay. You've met Danny Kay, haven't you? Yes, but that's not it. Thanks, Vinay. Oh, Dick, Dick, I hate to bother you with my troubles, but you're the only one I can turn to. The Sinister Six is after me. The Sinister Six? Yes. A man in a long black coat has been following me. Look, look, there's a face in the window. What did you say? That's what I thought you said. Why, he's the man that's been following me. Come on, Dick, let's get that guy. There he is, there he is. Watch out, Dick. Watch out, he's got a black jacket in his hand. He's been sacked. The man in the black coat escaped us, but when Dick came two, four hours later, we were determined to track down the Sinister Six, so we hopped a rattler for New Orleans. We should have taken the train. It was a pretty slimy trip. When we arrived in New Orleans, we headed for a waterfront dive, where the derelicts of the underworld made their heads. You know, I don't like the looks of this funny rat nest. It's strictly a bring down. Yeah, bring down. But we gotta nail that two-bit punk that sapped me in LA. Yeah, it's sapped in LA. Wait a minute. Blamp this oily-looking character. It looks like he wants to buzz us. Yeah, buzz us. Hey, you two, 12-finger Frankie wants to see us in a back room. Yeah, the back room. Oh, he does, huh? What does he want? He's got something for you. Step right through this archway. I don't know about this. Look out, Dick. He's got a lead pipe in his hand. The next morning, Dick was as good as new. You'd never know he'd been slugged except for a bump on the back of his head. An egg-shaped bump about the size of an eggplant. By now, we had learned the sinister six had slept in Havana, so we followed them there. Walking down a darkened street, Dick's head. I know where we can find these lambisters, Danny. Where, sloppy joes? No. Right next door to it. Disgusting Dave's. But wait a minute. Look through the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Disgusting Dave himself. He's just never his partner. Disgusting business. What an odd name for a partner. Yeah. Let's go in. Get a load of the script, Danny. You don't have to make your skin crawl. Don't say that. Mine's crawling up to my chin. No. I thought you were in a turtleneck sweater. Never mind. Let's talk to these mugs. Okay. Hey, you punks. Come here, I want to talk to you. Hey, Dave, look who wants to talk to us. Yeah, Blondie and Dagworth. Hey, shouldn't we give him a couple of minutes of our time? Oh, leave us. Give him even better than that. Look out, Dick. He's got a baseball bat in his hand. Two days later, Dick was on his feet again, looking as good as new in spite of the baseball bat massage. Of course, he had a little lump on his head that looked like a fat shortstop. But by now, we were more determined than ever to follow the sinister six, even though the trail now led to Rio de Janeiro. Come on, Dick. Let's get on the trail right away. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let's see what this fellow wants. Ah, Amigo. Saludos, amigos. Hey, Dick, what does this amigo stuff mean? Danny, amigo means friend. Oh, well, look out, Dick. Your friend is swinging a Spanish shillayly. No! Dick, no. Dick, Dick, speak to me, Dick. Oh, oh, oh, my aching head. Oh, this is ridiculous, Dick. Every time you get hit, you fall down on the job. Oh, hey, just lump. I can't tell where my head ends until the lump begins. Well, never mind that, Dick. I think that was our man. Come on, let's get him. Ah, this one's on you. Just let me lie here in the gutter. But, Dick, Dick, you might get hurt. Come on, I'll put you in this can. Danny, look. Look, there's a man in this cab. He's sitting in the corner. So what? Get in, Dick. OK. Driver, the hotel's not here now. Danny, what about this man sitting... You take that knife out of my friend's back. No, no, no, Danny, leave it there. My head needs the rest. The next day, after having Dick's puncture vulcanized, we were off on the trail anew and much to our surprise, our next clue took us back to Los Angeles in this smoky little rendezvous known as Old Man Moe's Combo. We entered. Come on, Dick, follow me. Well, stop pushing me, Danny. Here's the head waiter. Let's get started. OK, say, waiter, give me a table for two. Certainly, sir. I'll be glad to give it to you. Watch out, Dick. He's got a table in his hand. Dick. Dicky boy. Get up, Dicky boy. Get up. Oh, Mom, let me sleep. There's no school today. But, Dick, we have work to do. Hello, Mr. K. Why, Butterfly McQueen, what are you doing here? I'm fine, thank you. Oh, you are? Well, that answers some questions. Mr. K, who's that lovely gentleman lying at your feet? He's a detective. What to do? I'm not a detective. I'm not a detective. I'm not a detective. What's he doing, Mr. K? Looking for footprints? No, fingerprints. We're chasing a crook who walks on his hands. Oh, I see. Now, look, Mr. McQueen, we're very... Oh, my head. Danny, help me up. Hey, look at him, Mr. K. His head has a head on it. Well, yeah, look, you'll have to excuse us now, Mr. McQueen. Mr. Powell and I have to find the Sinister Six. Come on, Dick. Oh, that reminds me. I have a message for you, Mr. Powell. Message? Yes, from Mr. Nathan Tura. Nathan Tura? Oh, never mind that. What about the message? Let me have it. Yeah, let him have it. All right, here. I forgot to take the rock off the message. Dick, where are you? He's looking for fingerprints again. Get up, Dick. Are you all right? Never mind, never mind. Let me see that message. Hey, what's the matter? The Sinister Six have Benet in the back of this joint. Then what are we waiting for? Let's go. There she is. Oh, Dick, Danny, at last. Saved me from the Sinister Six. Who are the Sinister Six? They're that awful jive band outside, and they want me to be their vocalist. Well, they do, huh? Well, we'll have to see about that. Look out, Dick. Here they come. The man in the black cloak. He's their leader. Watch out, Dick. He's got a symbol in his hand. Look out, Dick. They've all got instruments. All right, that's why Dick Powell won't be here tonight. Oh, that sure is a clamity. And speaking of clams. Oh, no, Dick. Yes, speaking of clams, you know, there's nothing like a beautiful plate of cherry stones and a tall sparkling glass of blended, splendid, perhaps blue ribbon. Why, from clam to ham, that truly great beer just naturally blends its own wonderful flavor with the flavor of any fine food. Yes, with meals, between meals, you just can't top the taste of blended, splendid, perhaps blue ribbon. Well, Danny, you'll have to excuse me now. I want to run over to the hospital and see how Dick Powell is getting along. All right, Benet, and I'll go along with... Hey, wait a minute. Come in. Why, Dick? Dick Powell. Hello, folks. Oh, gosh, Dick, you made it. Yes, I would have been here earlier, but I stopped at a drive-in for an aspirin burger. You know, Danny, I'm thinking of giving up that detective character and going back to singing. Oh, there you are, Mr. Powell. I've looked everywhere for you. I've searched high and low. I've got to see you. Oh, but, lady, lady, now... Oh, I know. I don't mean anything to you. Lady, please, I can't help you. Tell him about Victor, lady. That'll soften him up. Yes, poor innocent, helpless little Victor. All right, all right, all right. What's the matter? Well, it started with my husband. He accused me of flirting with the iceman, so he ran the iceman out of town and I got so mad, I shot my husband. Well, if you shot your husband, what do you need a detective for? I want to find that iceman. Oh, lady, I'm sorry, but I... I know he's here. I followed him all the way down here. Now, just a minute, sir. How will I got to see you? Oh, my iceman. Anastasia, my sweet. What's the meaning of all this? Uh-huh. You was going to try and trail me, huh? Oh, Dick, he's got a pair of ice tongues in his hand. Hey, look where you're swinging, that hit. Hey, Dick, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, it's me, Joe, honey. Daddy. Joe. Daddy. Joe. Daddy. Joe. Daddy. Joe. Daddy. Joe. Daddy. D. Daddy. Doc. Daddy. Get up. Get up. Dick, let's look now. If I'm going to start getting hit in the head, I want to get paid for it. Paid for it, Daddy? Sure. How about you and me and Benet will go into the detective business? Oh, but I've had enough of this detective racket. I'm going to go back to singing. Oh, I just got a wonderful idea. Why can't we open a musical detective agency? Can't we, Benet? Well, sure. All right. Rat-tat-tat, you dirty rat. If you want to save the day, just call on Dick to Dick. Benet, the chick. And dead-eye Danny K. Who lurks around, who hears a sound and promptly runs away? Who? Dick to Slick. Pay the quick. And that'll help, Benet. If there's a sign of danger, we look, but we don't leap. And don't forget our motto, while you work, we sleep. We've trained our ears to no no fear. Oh, what was that? Oh, nothing, nothing. Just dropped the book I was reading. Oh. What kind of a book? Well, it tells you how to lie and wait for your victim and spring on him from behind. Uh-huh. What's it called? Forever ambush. Is it any good? Any good, any good. Why, it helped me solve the case of Hop-Head Harrigan. Oh, yes, I remember that case. Yes, we were driving along in our patrol car. Calling car 89. Calling car 89. Why haven't we heard from you all day? Is it anything we said? That was the night we solved the case of the missing toothpick. Ah, the most daring robbery in years. Yes, I remember it. Yes, that toothpick was stolen right out from under the chap's nose. It was, huh? And just as we were about to apprehend the culprit, he foiled us. Yes, he did. He drank a bottle of veneer so he could see his own finish. We come complete with two flat feet and burgers yell hooray for Mopey Dick. Bene the chick. And desperate Danny K. We're in demand in every land our dialect is grand. Czechoslovak, Slovak, Slovak. Remember the name from Czechoslovakia. How do you do, Inspector? I am Benevakia. Bene who? Benevakia. That's a very pretty name. I like it. Mother, where is your husband, Czechoslovakian Sam? Oh, it is very, very sad. He come home. He beat me. Every night he beat me. I knock with six. He have five. Finally, I get mad. I take Czechoslovakian Sam and throw him out window. He foiled 15 stories. But alas, he bounced back. He was bad Czech. We love our work. The fees don't matter. One way or the other. No. You'd even steal a silver threads among the gold. From your own motherhood. Oh, that's a scandalous thing to say. That's infamy. That's what it is. Infamy, how dare you? Infamy? Infamy. Infamy for you. For me, for you, for me. Although we're far from Scotland Yard, we very often play. Dr. Watson-Dick. The Lady Czech. And Inspector H.I.J.K. Calling Inspector K. Proceed to 1515 Trafalgar Square. New development in streetcar murders. That is all. Herman. Herman? Roger's been fired. Hello, Inspector K. speaking. Hello, Dr. Watson-Dick. Where are you, Doctor? Trafalgar Square. For the clock. Where? Where? Where? Trafalgar Square. With the same clock. Oh, I'm standing right under the six. Good work, man. Good work. I'll be over before you can say Jack Robinson. Hello, Doctor. What took you so long? Lost at Pard, you know. Well, here's the house. I think I'll press the doorbell. No! Pardon me, Madam. Lost at Pard, you know. What's happened, Doctor? Oh, it was horrible, sir. Horrible. Three men all shot to death. I see. Well, where are the bodies? There are no bodies. What? No bodies, sir. No bodies? I can't understand this. What were they doing? They're waiting for a streetcar. Hmm. Hmm, do you suspect? I like the shadow. Well, that's just it. The motorman had no motive. There were no passengers in the car. Well, obviously, Ronald. It's an open and shut case. The murder was the streetcar. The streetcar for three men shot. How was it done? Elementary, my dear, was it? Bang, bang, bang, when the trolley. Amisen. Amisen isn't such amisen now. We slip into a moustache and before your very eyes make matter look like Harry caused by masters of disguise. Disguise number one. I'll be with you in a minute. What's that? A bulldog. What's your name? I'm Drummond. I'm Drummond. Disguise number two. I am Honorable Charlie Chan. I am number two Chan. I am number three Chan. A bully tomato and a sea loom. I look into their tumbley. Bado. Who are you? Let's just say I'm just one more Chan. Oh, really? No, Oriental. Ha, ha, ha. I'm here to man the way. Just pow, pow, pow. Scooter for benuda. And save the day with King of Buster. Get pow. Well, Benet and Dick, I want to thank you both of you very much for coming over to my show this evening. Oh, it was a lot of fun, Danny. Yes, but after what I went through this week, Danny, I thought you'd be reading about me in the newspaper. Oh, really? No, obituary. Oh, no, Dick, not you too, Dick. No, we can't do that, Joe. I won't do it. I won't have it. I won't have it. The makers of PAPS Blue Ribbon wish to remind you that no matter how severe may be the government restrictions on grain, however much PAPS must curtail its output to protect quality, every bottle of PAPS Blue Ribbon you buy will continue to live up to its name. There'll be no cutting corners, no lowering of standards of flavor and goodness, no compromise with quality. And now, before we tell you about next week's guests, here's a message from the star of our show. Ladies and gentlemen, although many millions of veterans have returned from overseas, there are still thousands of our men serving us in foreign lands, from Berthes Garden to Tokyo. In almost 650 American Red Cross clubs, the American service man can find some of the comfort and friendliness that we have here at home. So give and give generously to the American Red Cross. Our guests next week will be Gene Herscholt and Georgia Gibbs. This program was brought to you by the PAPS Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.