 I think this is the first clip of this video. So hi, it's Liana, and as the title of this video and the thumbnail probably for claim, I, the today, like, booktuber chooses your TBR type situation. So I chose Bethany's TBR, or at least four books on it, and she chose four for me. Received z-books, and I've never done this before. I was informed by Bethany that the thing to do is to vlog opening them and to vlog reading them. So I hope I'm doing this correctly. So I'm so excited to find out. Like, technically I think we're supposed to be reading these in April, and this is March. But I want to know what they are. And I just filmed some other videos, so I look presentable, less like the slob I don't normally look like. So I figured now's the time. They're here. Let's do it. Okay. Book number one. Oh, this is a book. There's two books in here. Okay. I've never heard of either of these. But this is the very first thing that I saw, pulled it out and saw. It is a romance book. Very romantic of her. I just pulled it out. I was like, Fabia, okay. She stole his ship and his heart. I mean, I've been known to like a romance by Tessa Dare. I think I've heard Bethany say that she thinks I might like Beverly Jenkins because if I might be wrong, or I might be confusing this with another author. I think it was Beverly Jenkins that Bethany said that she tends to do an inclusion of bigger themes. It tends to be like an issues book, I think, where in addition to telling like a romance, it's also handling something else as well. I think that's the case. And I think that's why she thinks I would possibly like Beverly Jenkins. I might be wrong. So in either case, I must read this. The deal is the deal. And the other book that came that envelope is American Hippo by Sarah Gailey, which I've, it's like vaguely kind of starting to sound familiar to me. Like I do think I, maybe I just saw Bethany talk about it. It's kind of bringing a bell. Also Sarah Gailey, I think, did she write Magic for Liars? Which I have not read. I think, oh Amanda just gave me a book. And some of it, that's by, yep, that's by Sarah Gailey. So she did write Magic for Liars. Amanda just gave me Echo Wife, any who sees apparently both Amanda and Bethany think that I would like Sarah Gailey. So this looks like Western editions called American Hippo. Sarah Gailey made her debut with River of Teeth. Oh, this is a, okay, so this is a binder of two novellas. So she wrote two novellas called River of Teeth and Taste of Mero. Two action packed novellas introduced readers to an alternate America in which hippos rule the colossal swamp that was once the Mississippi River. Now readers have the chance to own both novellas in American Hippo. A single beautiful volume along with two original short stories never before released in print. So this is Bethany's cheating. She's given me two books, which means that she's given me five books. It's fine. It's not terribly long. Now this is very much giving me his dark materials vibes. Like it reminds me of what's his name, who's friends with the Polar Bear, and he's played by Lin-Manuel Miranda much to my chagrin because I definitely prefer the way he's in the movie. Who plays him? Some old Western actor whose name also escapes me. Sam Elliott, is that correct? Maybe not. That might be absolutely incorrect. But he's an old Western actor who was definitely in Tombstone. Okay, all that to say, that's what this cover reminds me of. Fledgling by Octavia Butler. I have Parable of the Sower, which I was planning to read last year and didn't get around to it. But I guess my first Octavia Butler won't be Parable of the Sower. It will be Fledgling. I have heard this is a dark epic and quite polarizing, so I feel slightly anxious about this, but we shall see. I have generally heard that Octavia Butler's writing is phenomenal. So I'm excited about reading Octavia Butler. Nervous about Fledgling. You're the content is harrowing. Rain and Ruin by J.D. Evans. I don't know if Bethany remembers this, but she's sent me the Ark of this, which in Bethany's defense I didn't put it on my Goodreads because I don't know why I didn't. Oh, I think it's at my parent's house after, like, yeah, I think it's at my parent's house. So in her defense, I didn't have it on my Goodreads, but she sent it to me before, so she should have known. Well, I have nothing against it, like I didn't, like, actively not want to read it. I just have gotten around to it. But now I have a finished copy. So I guess I can just get rid of that Ark now. I am interested to read this, and I remember when it came out, she said that she thought it was what she sent it to me, and that it's like a good blend of romance and fantasy, like reaching that gap, I suppose, like, and I think it's Middle Eastern inspired. This vlog we have just learned together will be me reading these books. My apartment is a hot-ass mess. I don't look a hot-ass mess from here up because I have films and videos just now, but my apartment is the shambles for the usual. I don't know, could you even see my rack of laundry over there that's been there for too long? I swear, I'm going to talk about a book in a second. But since I pointed out my laundry rack, I thought I might as well tell you that the reason that's sitting there is because I bought some, like, dressers and stuff from IKEA, and I've never before had IKEA furniture, and I finally understand now why it's a running joke among all of humanity that IKEA furniture is hard to put together. I listened to the entirety of the Tenant of Wildfell Hall on, like, a Saturday or Sunday or something while I put together three pieces of IKEA furniture, and I still have one to go, which is a dresser. I don't have anywhere to put those clothes until I build a dresser, and I just haven't been mustered up the energy to be arsed to do that, so at some point I'll do that. But until such time as I do, the laundry remains on the rack. It's been, it's been, it's been a time. I haven't read anything in a week, in over a week. Because of reasons, because of reasons that shall not be named, I have been not reading. But I'm finally getting back to normal, and as you know, I have a secret TBR project, which I introduced whenever I filmed the introduction to this, which I know I did at some point last month. Don't remember what I said. Pretty sure I explained what it is and showed you what I'd be reading. So here we are in the second week of April, and I'm finally ready to start reading again, and I figure I should start there. Because my TBR for April is insanity, and that's not even counting these secret TBR books that you're here to hear about. So anyway, I'm easing myself back into reading because I'm a little delicate right now. And I'm starting with Destiny's captive by Beverly Jink. I feel like this will, I mean, the other books Bethany sent me seem very dark and heavy. She sent me fledgling by Octavia Butler, and I'm not starting with that. I cannot take it. So yeah, we're gonna start easy. I believe send this to me because it's a cinnamon roll hero, although since then, there's been like three or four occasions where we've been talking, and she's like, oh, if I'd known that, I would have sent you this other romance. And I'm like, you're really making me less and less excited about reading this because you keep being like, oh, there's this other one that would have been better for you. Okay, but I'm going to read this one. So I think that's all I know, or as far as I know, like that's all I know. That's all I know as far as her reasons for thinking that I would like it. I mean, I know she's generally a fan of Beverly Jenkins, but the reason she thinks I would like this one is because I think it's a cinnamon roll hero. And it looks piratey. She stole his ship and his heart. So there's a ship back there. I haven't even read the back of it. I also just tend not to read the backs of books, even about ones that I'm thinking about buying. I just look at the cover and I'm like, yep, purchase. Noah Yates fully believes in the joys of a happy family and a good wife, but that's not the life for him. No, he would much rather sail the wild seas in search of adventure, not tied down. But then the unthinkable happens. He finds himself literally tied down to a bed by a woman. Rottrow. And Pilar isn't just an ordinary woman. She's descended from pirates. And after giving him one of the worst nights of his life, she steals his ship. Now Noah is on the hunt and he'll stop at nothing to find his extraordinary woman and make her his. It's been a long work day. Did also film some videos after work, hence the face. Don't normally look like that. Also, going back to my delicate state for reasons that will go unmentioned, I have looked like an absolute pile for the last week. So it does feel nice to have clothes on and make up on, and to look in the mirror and see a human being. Not that I don't look like a human being without makeup on. But I was extra not human looking for the last week. So I ate food today and like slept okay last night. And today has been the most normal day, you know, in a little while. So we're getting back into the swing of things is what I'm saying. With this little slice of joy. And I also think I can finish this in one sitting because this teeny tiny thing, like teeny in terms of like lengthened and width, is also only 370 pages. I think I can knock this out and I'll let you know how we go. I'm so bored. I keep finding reasons to not read. Made tea, watched a couple of YouTube videos. I've been having a great time listening to See Shanti as well. Reading discovered a lot of great playlists and albums. So that has been a silver lining. Excellent music. I'm so bored. I don't know how you make pirates boring. I'm so, so bored. It maybe it's too fast. There's like a lot of stuff that's happening. And I haven't even had time like I think I'm getting the feeling that this is probably like a third book in the series. Like I think there probably were two books before this that were about his brothers because like we got the recap of their love lives, which felt like one of those like, you know, remember those previous two books where those love stories happened and here's where they're at? This is how many children they have so far. The only part that kept my interest was this like little interlude with his mom. That's where we learned about the love stories of the brothers. But like mom is about to get married and like she's excited to see her grandkids. She's excited to see her youngest come home from, you know, the high seas. She I mean, I didn't love that at all by any stretch. I wasn't like a loving that part of the book, but I was like able to pay attention. This is so so boring. I don't know how you make getting kidnapped in Shanghai and imprisoned. And then like kidnapped again and a ship commandeered and all that jazz boring. What is boring as hell? I'm really hoping at some point because like at first I was like, OK, maybe it's just kind of like a rough start, like tough to get into. But like once I get into the swing of this, but it just keeps jumping from thing to thing to thing to thing. And I'm like, who even are these people? I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe if I had read the previous books, I had a feeling for who he is as a person, a little bit beforehand. Maybe would help, but she's boring. It should do. I just I literally do not care about anything that's happening. I'll keep reading or I will. I mean, I will finish it obviously. But tonight, like as my first foray back into reading after not reading for like a week, this was really not doing it for me. I thought it'd be like a quick, easy, like whatever. I'm so bored. I might switch to reading stone of tears, because at least I know what I'm getting into with that. I don't think this is the one for me. Hopefully I am not loving it. So I'm about halfway through and I. I hated so much. Oh, I don't even know where to begin. Like, OK, so she she steals his boat from him. And he like there's like a scar on her hand, just how he's going to recognize her if he ever finds her again. So she steals his boat, but then like because she's like a rebel, whatever, and a gun runner, that's what she needs the boat for. So then she gets like the boat, like the authority sees the boat from her and she barely escapes with so the boat sinks. So he's now on a mission to find her again because he wants a boat back and he asks around and he ends up at her uncle's party where he sees her and he recognized the scar on her hand so he knows it's her. And he instantly is like you or the one that stole my boat. And he also has learned that the authorities are after her because of the gun running. And his first proposal after like meeting her for five minutes is like, well, marry me. And then I won't turn you into the authorities. So he's blackmailing her. And her sister's like, he's so spoon-worthy. And the mom's like, you know how it can be. And like, maybe you'll be like your father and me. But they're all like super on board with this. And she's like, but I don't want to marry him. And they're like, oh, they're there. I'm sure you'll get used to it. I'm like, what the fuck? This psycho is blackmailing her into marrying him. I don't care if he looks like fucking Tom Hardy. I mean, that's my ideal. No, what? No, you know. And all he's thinking in his head is just like, oh man, like I haven't wanted a woman this bad. And like, I can't even remember when. That's all he thinks about. It's just how much he wants to undress her. Which like, I mean, is unsurprising because like, he can't possibly know her. So he's the only reason he wanted to marry her is just hubba hubba. It is the most like creepily lustful, possessive, like, he literally blackmails her into marrying him. And it's all just because he's got a hard on for her. And that's basically his entire personality is like, he's been sad ever since like his trauma of being Shanghai. And now like, she's the first person to like, make him feel happy. But like, that's not happiness. That's momentary lust. And it's super creepy. Like again, even if this guy looks like Tom Hardy, mixed with Chris Hemsworth, mixed with Riga Jean Page, mixed with whatever, I don't care who you are. If you showed up and blackmailed me into marrying you, I might do it because I needed to, you know, because that's why she chooses to do it. Because you know, I will save her family. But it's psychotic. I wouldn't trust you wouldn't be into you. Lie back and think of England would be the strategy. Like, I've decided to take one for the team to save my family because this psycho wants to marry me instead of turning me into the authorities. Anyway, so there, I guess this is meant to be a sweet hate to love like banter between them where they're like poking fun at each other. But I'm just like, it's not cute poking fun at each other when you blackmailed her into this. So the power imbalance is just like completely on you. The power is all on his side. So like, it's just weird. And I know that the author is like wanting it to come off genuine. But that's all I keep thinking about. And then also she's, I mean, she has a character that doesn't really make sense either the way she behaves doesn't really fall in love what you know about her. Like their first time eating breakfast at this inn after they're married. She's like, what is this? And it's like grits and bacon. And yeah, she's Cuban. So yeah, she wouldn't be used to it. But she's also a gun runner, a smuggler who was like living kind of not like, she wasn't exactly living in wealth and luxury. So if she didn't know what grits was, sure. But she like turns her nose about it. I mean, like some psycho blackmailed you into marrying him and really your little mis-upperty princess is going to be like, hey, what is this? I don't eat this for breakfast. We usually eat some like traditionally Cuban food. I'm like, really? Really? Really? I did blackmailed into marriage by some psycho. But wouldn't be really that worried about what we're having for breakfast. Also, if I was like not that well off, I also would just be grateful to have food. I hate them both so much. Like she doesn't deserve to be blackmailed into marriage. But she's like kind of a blank slate and doesn't really have a personality. And he doesn't really have a personality beyond being like weirdly hung up on her in a way that IRL, I would get her restraining order. I know we have people like to joke a lot that the behavior in romance novels would actually in real life be quite creepy. But this like, I don't like it. I don't like it. I just, I feel so uncomfortable. So when he keeps like touching her and then being like, oh, but I don't, I'm not going to have sex with you until you really want it. Like it just feels so manipulated. Like I've heard that before in romance novels. They're like, I'm not going to give it to you. You really want it until you say yes, until you ask me for it. Like I always roll my eyes at that. But here, knowing that he's blackmailed her into this marriage for him to be like, basically like it's like the weirdest kind of emotional abuse. Like I want you so bad. Like that's all I want. That's why I'm going to marry you. But I won't actually fuck you until you ask me for it. Like, no, no, no, no, no. Ew, ew, ew. This has been my face. This whole time that I've been reading because there's, there's a lot of, this is some like a slow burn. Like they wonder like touching on each other. Oh, and that too. Like the first time they touched hands at the party or whatever. Like instantly like a shocking heat of lightning and passion overwhelming her at like the slightest touch. And I'm just like, oh my God. Yeah, it's too much. It's too much. You've turned it up to 11 at the first touch. Like whole other half to go. Oh my God. I hated it so, so much. I didn't think I could hate it worse than I did at the halfway point. But I found fresh reasons to hate it. So I told you what it was about. So they're, then they come back to California where his family is. They like run into the girl that I guess he was sleeping with beforehand on a regular basis. And she's like really catty to Pilar. And so we can have this like moment of him being like, that's my wife. Don't talk to her like that. She's like, oh, but I'm like, have you been sleeping with her on the reg? And they just show up married to some woman you just met. Like, yeah, like, like she's written to be a bitch. But also understandably, she'd be a bit bitchy in that situation. I'd be like, excuse me. And then I just, oh, I just loved that it became a running joke between them about the fact that, you know, he would say thanks for marrying me. And she was like, because I remember I didn't have any choice. Like, I remember how I blackmailed you into marrying me. Good times. Good times. No, no. That's so fucked up. And then so this girl that he used to be banging, her dad is like really sickly and is about to die. So he wants to sell his shipyard business to Noah instead of leaving it to his daughter, who knows how to run the business, but she's a woman. And even though this book is like stuffed with feminist soap boxing about how women can do what a man can do and like pullars running around with a sword and stuff. This woman who used to sleep with Noah wanting to run her father's shipyard business, that's a bridge too far. So because she's written to be a bitch. Like she wants someone else to buy it because this person has basically agreed that like he would own it but like in name only she'd get to run the business still and that's what she wants. And but the father insists on telling it to Noah. So of course the guy that this, that the LaVinia wants to sell it to ends up being like the nemesis of Polar who like wants to like kill her or whatever. So LaVinia and nemesis guy after the father like 100% decides to sell the shipyard to Noah who's like screw you LaVinia. Like I don't, I never said I'd marry you even though I was fucking you. It is the better decision to sell the shipyard to me because I'm a man and she's like understandably then she plots with nemesis guy to like I guess kill Noah even though they're after Polar because Noah gets shot and then they find the guy that did the shooting and then LaVinia and this other guy go to prison for life. I feel so bad for LaVinia. I don't know why this character had to like basically be her biggest, like she's just written to be a total bitch. But her situation I have a lot of sympathy for because her father's about to die and her way of life is going to be completely gone. The guy she was banging is apparently up and married someone else and she's not even going to be able to like be part of her father's business anymore. Like I'm so sorry LaVinia. I feel you girl. Maybe don't you know plot to assassinate someone but otherwise I feel you girl. And then Noah in the last this much of the book decides to have an emotional breakdown because of like his tragic backstory that's there to be a tragic backstory where he was shanghied and raped and whatever. Because he runs of course he runs into the guy that like did this to him on the street and has a complete meltdown after being Mr. Bubbly. I can marry someone and you know sleep with them and occasionally have a nightmare but it's like fine. No intimacy issues. Loves the open ocean. The things that ought to trigger him have not been triggers at all throughout this whole book but he meets the guy that did this to him and he has a full on meltdown and is like emotionally abusive to his wife who he claims to love his mother his brothers for like over a month and then he up and decides that he's gonna go to this island where this happened to him to like bury the ghosts or whatever and he has to do this and he learns before he goes that Pilar is pregnant but nope he's gonna have his like therapy session. I'm so glad he's rich enough to just pay for this entire voyage just to go to this island where he shows up to this island sees the places in like disrepair says some prayers and like is healed by God and is no longer emotionally scarred which like I'm so glad that's how that works. Lifetime of drama. Just healed because you went on your little like eat, pray, love journey. Comes back to his wife who's now six months pregnant because he just up and left her. I mean you really expect better from some guys black males you into marrying him. Didn't see this behavior coming. Doesn't seem like a selfish person. He comes back and he's like all better now and I bought us a house happily ever after. What? Whose fantasy is this? I'm into marriage and be like emotionally abusive. Have no personality beyond wanting to bang you all the time. Abandons you the moment he learns you're pregnant because he's got his own issues to sort out. Like I get I mean A plus for like wanting to sort out your mental health issues but like bro you didn't do anything about your mental health issues all this time and now you have a pregnant wife now you're gonna go have your little man journey like um no no that's a real quick no from me. Fuck you so hard. Oh my god I hated it. Hated it. Could not have hated it more. I don't understand. Don't understand. Oh my god. Now I get to move on. If you're eating something else one out of four. One down. Three to go. Hopefully the other three are better. Yikes. Well as it happens I am not faring much better with book two than I was with book one. This is a collection of short stories. Well it's two short stories no two novellas and then two short stories taking place in an alternate history America where this is a thing that really happened where the American government was considering importing hippos and ranching them. Obviously America's government decided not to do that IRL but in this alternate version of our history America's government decided to go ahead with the hippo plan. So these short stories take place in this world this alternate history world. It is the most boring surface level thing that I've ever read. I've only read the first novella which is called River of Teeth so I have the other novella and the two short stories to go. What I find I find a lot of things about this frustrating like it's not bothering to explore the repercussions of bringing hippos into it. Like it's just focused on these like specific characters in this novella and they've got some hippos. So it's this story like it could be about horses except that there's like something to do with the river and like this like heist basically to them. To do with the river and how hippos are being handled but it's not really talking about how this has affected society or the economy or the culture or really anything like that it's just kind of like what are those hippos? And then the characters there's like a bunch of characters and you get introduced to them all and like it's a it's a novella and one of the main reasons that I have a huge problem of short fiction most of the time is that it's a rare author that can introduce you to a situation introduce you to characters get you to care about all those things and then tell you a compelling story and wrap it up within such a short number of pages. It's one of the reasons why Neil Gaiman remains my favorite author because just the sheer talent that is evident in his brevity is staggering. So he's one of the only people that I've read that manages to pull it off on a regular basis. So hats off to him. That's a difficult thing to do. It is difficult to write short fiction. It is arguably more difficult to write short fiction that is compelling and good than long fiction because to get the reader hooked and to get the reader to care that quickly is difficult. I would say this did not pull it off. So yeah. Not loving this. We shall see how I go with the other story that also takes place in this world. I don't know if it'll fall the same characters flipping through real quick. I saw one familiar name. So yep. Okay. It's going to be the same characters again. So that I'm also confused why they need to be novellas. Why didn't you just write one long novel and actually delve into the world? How this works? Like introducing hippos into the economy would have had massive repercussions. But we didn't really touch on that. We just had a bunch of like shallow surface level two dimensional characters walking around with like super on the nose jokes. A really forced insta-love story. Okay. Cool. Check in with you after the next one. It's been a minute since I last chatted with you. I have not finished American Hippo yet. I love you on a DNF but it's also so short that I will finish it. I'll do it. But I can't. I just can't do it today. It's not going to happen today. So instead, since I spent all this morning basically reading the entirety of Ruin and Rising so I could do the live show on Josie's channel for our Grish along, I thought it'd be fitting to read Ruin and Ruin for the rest of today. So I've read the first chapter and so far so neutral. It feels kind of self-pubbed but then at the same time I read a lot of published books better like this. So like overall it's pretty published because if you don't know this is self-published I don't know. I'm sometimes talked about what is traditionally published like I'm like really? So that being said like I'm not saying this is really bad or anything. I'm like some of the things that I'm noticing like I want to like kind of like blame that on it being self-pubbed but then again lots of like traditionally published books have the same problem. So like that is I don't know if that's fair probably not. So far it's kind of info dumpy but again lots of traditionally published books are info dumpy just a thing I don't care for but it is what it is. I don't hate it by any stretch so far it's so far it's fine. This is a romance fantasy fantasy romance which I'm given to understand is like balancing like it's struggling that line more where it's like a lot of politics and fantasy plot but also a strong romance plot. Not dissimilar from the Christian trilogy but this is adult. So basically it's a romance but where there's like a lot of other stuff going on. It's not just a romance plot which is I believe why I bet any things that I won't like this. And so far it's just been the first chapter the first chapter was like a big political meeting where we're just kind of introduced a bunch of names and I'm like I'm not gonna remember all this I mean that's whatever but like the vibe because I it's a kind of a Middle Eastern inspired world which I knew before I picked it up but like the the vibe and the tone and the aesthetic and the names in this first scene I'm just picturing Disney live action Aladdin. Like I'm picturing her as Naomi Scott surrounded by a bunch of people from that Aladdin movie in a palace that looks like that palace which I'm fine with because like I think maybe that's an unpopular opinion I like the Disney's live action Aladdin quite a bit. So like I'm not upset about being in a book that's making me feel like I'm reading the live action Aladdin. This is the positive for me for some people that might sound horrible but I'm happy about that. Also credit words too it's quite nice like um there's like a lot of detail in terms of like the whatever putting together of it like all of the pages not just like the beginning of each chapter have like this detailing on it which is cool like it's kind of unnecessary but it's cool so it just I mean it just it gives it a kind of like fancy feel and like kind of reminds you of the vibe and aesthetic of the world that you're in like in a very visual way so it's cool like you know that's it's a nice nice addition that's addition with an A not addition with an E apparently this is book one of a series which god damn it the one good thing about romance is so far my experience has been that they're more or less standalone it's like they are in a series sometimes that is tangentially connected because like the sibling or the friend or whatever will get their own book subsequently but usually it's like this story it's one and done so I don't know if that's what this is going to be where like given that it's like more of a fantasy plot with like other stuff going on I would imagine that it's like books who would be a continuation of these characters story but I don't know we'll find out so I I haven't made a ton of progress because I stopped to make dinner and whatnot so I'm 50 page a little over 50 pages in and I'm enjoying it a lot I'm really liking this it's obviously still early to tell but I I'm liking this that said I started feeling panicky when I realized how little time I have left to read certain things because I have two and a half things that I have to read before next Saturday slash Sunday I've heard blades about as your version for my patrons so like I keep thinking like okay you know like I have time I don't have time so like I realized that like for a whole page I hadn't been paying attention because I was thinking about oh shit when am I going to read all that I don't know how much more of this I'm going to read tonight I might switch over to something else that I have to read for next weekend so that's that's what I want to check in because I might read some more of this I am really liking it like sincerely I am it's giving me like Aladdin slash Kingdom of Heaven slash Conqueror Saga vibes all things I love love live action Aladdin love Kingdom of Heaven love the Conqueror Saga so I don't I don't think it's as good as the Conqueror Saga it's that's also only I'm only 50 pages in but the world the vibe I'm liking it and I yeah I think this is going to be a win for me still very girly to tell but I I'm on board with this which you know after hating Destiny's captive and currently hating American hippo this is kind of a relief probably for Bethany too um yeah so I'm excited to be I'm excited to enjoy something that I'm reading because despite popular belief I like to like what I'm reading just wanted to let you know that this is going well um I'm gonna check in as I make further progress either tonight if my panic subsides so for everything else I need to read or at a later date well I am once again in a panic about actually having time to read I haven't picked this up since last time I talked to you and you don't know when that is because this is a vlog it's been a week I got everything read that I needed to get read I know once again I have stuff that I need to get read so I need to actually prioritize this before I read the other thing I guess it's more it doesn't matter this is irrelevant anyway I'm settling in now to read it is so late where has my day gone basically yesterday I watched all of Shadow on Bone and then this morning I watched the last two episodes of Shadow on Bone again then had a live show then had to like pack up my stuff and get back to my apartment because I was with my parents and then like unpack and I had some like packages that I had to unbox for I mean not like open them you know how how normal people say opening packages instead of unboxing anyway it is now holy guacamole I thought it was four o'clock it is nearly five o'clock last time I checked it was four o'clock but you know time keeps going so it's been 45 minutes fuck I have some decaf coffee and I'm gonna read some of this and uh yeah I will update you anyway yeah I also I mean there's something else I also need to be reading so I think if if I can I would like to reach the halfway point of this book and then reach like maybe like a hundred pages of the other book that I need to read that is not relevant to this vlog that's my plan probably won't achieve either thing but that's what we're doing and I'm excited because I was as I said probably before enjoying this so I am excited to read this also it was been gloomy for the last five days and now that I'm finally sitting down to read this one just came out thank you okay gotta read so that I can tell you things about what I've been reading just wanted to do a quick update before the sun goes down so I'll try to refill in the dark I'm about halfway through rain and ruin and I'm really liking this like a lot this is my jam so if everybody who's still trying to figure out what my taste is I haven't figured it out but this is it so it's still definitely giving me like Aladdin vibes and but like the story isn't anything like it's not giving me Aladdin vibes because of the story just like the like vizier is like definitely like he's got a staff and everything he seems very jafar-y and he keeps being like like the Sultan is it's not like a he's not like a joke like he is in Disney's Aladdin where he's like this is kind of buffoon but he is kind of like mentally like ill or impaired so he can't like he like isn't always lucid so like we have like a jafar type character taking advantage of that situation and like when he talks to her it's very like Jasmine and jafar except she's I mean this is adult and she's smarter and it's like more political machinations but yeah and the dude I like the dude there's a it this is very slow burn which I think Bethany told me it was a slow burn like I'm halfway through and like you know they're they've interacted a lot because you know it's like a political situation he's from another country and like they're trying to talk about like an alliance preventing possible war etc what the fuck what's going on over there that looks like a fire hope it's not okay sorry there's smoke coming up from the rooftop across the way but it might be like a barbecue or something certainly hope that's what it is anyway so yeah I'm really really really liking this and like I mean it's a romance like presumably at some point they'll actually like do something but so far it's just been like a lot of interactions and like a building of mutual respect but they're kind of like still not sure of each other which is realistic because they barely know each other but they're like you know have had opportunities to like witness what the other person does under pressure and been like I am impressed with you so far I think we are aligned you're also pretty hot like I am very physically into you but like it's not practical to be thinking about that and like I love that because they're not just like ripping each other's clothes all the way they're like anyway yeah I'm really liking the political story there's some good action and I mean like sword type action not you know not action so I'm super super enjoying this so I'm gonna keep reading tonight I don't know if I'll finish tonight I don't know I don't know I don't know because I also need to read fledgling but yeah so far so fantastic um quick update in case you care there are fire trucks outside now so that was definitely a fire I mean there's no smoke now I think it's been entirely contained but like oh shit for once the sirens were for my area I wasn't just disturbing my piece for no reason but we're all good we're all good everything's fine save the day so I've actually made a lot of progress since last time I talked to you last night I nearly finished Reign and Ruin like I thought I was gonna do it and then I just got real sleepy all of a sudden and I was like I I'll just wait finish the next day I'm on page 341 out of 400 so knock that out tonight as soon as I like finish this clip and then this evening I was finally putting together some furniture that I was putting it off putting it together for a while I was finally arsed to do it and while doing so listened to fledgling and I am nearly done with fledgling I am 10 hours out of 12 whatever that means and here's chapter 23 the physical book that's how far I am and I'm liking it it's not I don't I don't know I I was kind of scared of it I felt like I I didn't I mean I nothing really triggers me I don't I think I really hate Islambees and and then even then I read the Dreadnation duology so like I did that I should not really need books that I think that I can't handle but more just that like I prefer not to have to handle if that makes sense so I was like worried about finding this really like intensely either kind of like viscerally body horror gross or morally problematic or something I just I feel like I heard nothing but like people saying that oof I just laying like oof oof that one is tough and it's fine I don't know that makes me horrible but like none of it bothers me even a little bit I honestly kind of don't get why anyone would be bothered I want I shouldn't say not anyone but like because any book could bother someone depending on what particularly upsets you or your experiences have been but this is anyway um yeah so I mean it's good it's definitely really good I don't want to make it sound like it's fine in terms of like my writing I think it's really excellent but again I don't know like I can't say I'm disappointed I guess I I feel like if you like got like really prepped and dressed and like stretched out because you think is going to be like a really intense hike and then you go and it's like it's like a nice hike like it's beautiful views and like it was a lovely day but it was like not even an intense hike at all like you could have done it in flip-flops so you feel a little bit like you like psyched yourself out and overprepared and were like ready to exert yourself and then you come away from it being like that was really nice it was it was lovely but like I I was ready to exert myself and I didn't have to that's kind of how I feel like I was preparing to mentally and emotionally exert myself and I'm not having to so like I feel I don't know if that makes sense like that's not I don't feel let down like I'm not disappointed I just feel like I don't know how to explain it the other way than the hike thing or like my body was ready for like some suffering and I can't be upset that I'm not suffering but like I was ready for it but yeah it's about vampires or at least like a version of vampires where they're just kind of like a different species and so there's it's like another version of how that could work in a more realistic sense like less you know Dracula and more like the walking dead but vampires if that makes sense like walking dead tries to explain zombies as a more like realistic scientific thing and this is a more realistic scientific explanation for vampirism and it's interesting it's uh the story is not really in any way similar to but it it reminds me a little bit of the movie Only Lover Left Alive the story is exceedingly different it is very different but that movie was kind of the first time that I'd ever seen anyone really handle vampires in a way where I was like yeah if vampires were real that's how they would behave and I don't I don't think that's really fun to watch like I don't recommend it in terms of like having a good time but it's a fascinating movie I don't know that I can say I like it if like implies that I have that I enjoy the experience of watching it because I did not thoroughly enjoy the experience of watching it but the treatment of vampires was I have immense respect for I suppose because I was like yes this makes sense and like for that reason it's less fun you know like vampires like usually you're watching something about vampires because you kind of like want to have fun with like how cool it is or how action packed it is or how gory it is and this was just like it left me feeling so empty but I was also like I mean yeah like IRL that is how vampires would be and it's nothing to wish for it's nothing to escape to imagining like I am none of that is appealing but it is more accurate I feel like to have how vampires would be any who sees all that to say fledgling is kind of similar in that way where like it's an exceedingly realistic depiction of what vampires would be like it's different from only that we're left alive this idea of vampires is different from how it is there so there's not there's more than one way to have realistic vampires but it's once again we're like this doesn't sound like ideal I don't really want to fantasize about this and I'm also not it's not like the kind of grimdark thing where you're just like reveling in the like horror and gore like it's it's just very realistic examination of how vampirism could function and there are some there is some kind of um racial social political cultural discussion there is quite an anthropological bent to the way it's being explained and handled and approached and uh I think the thing that people find upsetting is that the main character presents a childlike but she's actually like an adult as far as like vampires are concerned and she's a lot older than she looks so like vampires aren't in this story like you know Edward Cullen or even like Dracula where you get bitten and then turned into a fangish creature of night where you fly like a bat like it's it's not like that you can't be made into one you're born one like any other species of animal like kind of I just said to like it's kind of weird that like where would you even get the idea that like by biting someone you become their species like do you think that like if you get bitten by a snake you become a snake no like yeah it is a weird idea yeah so for the thing that she is this vampiric type creature like she is older and she is a mature mature enough and adult enough to be doing the things she's doing but to like the human eye she presents as a child looks like a child is is petite and is like adolescent looking and so like when she's having sex and doing and thinking adult things I guess you will find that weird or upsetting or troubling or whatever to me well for one it's a book so like anytime you're reading a book you're more in the internal space of a character than the external space of a character and we are in her head and in her head she's an adult so like occasionally you're reminded of the fact that like she's she doesn't look childish like it'll come up but like you're in her head and her internal life is that of an adult so like it doesn't really like bother me and if I was watching a movie where you'd have a child actor playing this I don't know like I guess that would that would keep it fresher in your brain it would keep it more on your mind that this is going on but even then when I think of interview with a vampire where Kristen Dunst is a vampire who is like turned when she's a child and so like years and years and years go by and she's basically like experiencing life and maturing on the inside but she remains in the body of a child so like she as a child actor did a fantastic job acting like a mature woman in the body of a child like when she and Brad Pitt would be together and then she would say you know Louie my love as if they were two adults but she's you know like a 10 year old girl which like I almost thought was more fascinating than off-putting because you know the tragedy of having this you know childlike body even though you're an adult on the inside and then most recently in umbrella academy when their brother five comes back from the future and is like suddenly thrust back into his like adolescent body but he's supposedly been alive you know for like 60 years or something so he's like a 60 year old man but in the body of like I guess a 12 year old so I just I guess I've seen that a lot and then NK Jemisin plays that idea a lot in her stories where like in the body of a child is actually some you know millennia old entity so like I don't know like it just doesn't bother me very much because I feel like I've seen it quite a bit in some form or other so like when this was written probably no one had seen too much of that but it's doesn't bother me even a little bit but it is good it's fascinating I'm enjoying it um and yeah and Rain and Ruin I don't think I said how I'm doing with it I just said that I almost finished it I am loving it loving it loving it very very much loving it so I'm looking forward to polishing this off tonight after I turn my camera off okay time for a quick update while I make my lunch or while I wait for my water to boil so I can make lunch so last night I finished Rain and Ruin and this morning yes this morning I finished my lunch I know what's happening in my life yeah so Rain and Ruin super solid super solid like at first like I was feeling I very feels the five stars and now I think it's a four now that I've like really had time to think about it because I do feel like some of the magic doesn't make like it's not explained it's like overexplained and underexplained I don't know like like if it had been if it remained a software magic system then this would be fine but it's like clear that there are some like fairly hard rules but those hard rules aren't hard enough if that makes sense so like because there's the the magic is like kind of elemental magic but there's this thing called like the wheel and you have to have like mages of different levels from the different types to like for balance and like it was just left as like a these types of magic tend to balance each other out kind of thing it would be fine but it's like a very structured like literally like a wheel where like people like physically like occupy a space and physically balance stuff that is somehow like affecting the rest of people and affects others I don't know it was just like like there was a lot of that but not enough of that explained to where I could really buy into that so anytime the book got like too much into that type of things I was like I don't think this magic system has developed for that well on the day to day like when they were using their magic like how the power manifested itself the ways that they could manipulate it what like side effects of different kinds of magic are so like air magic also having to do with sound was an interesting thing so like stuff like that like I liked how the magic worked when they were using it but like for the world like the lore about the magic did not work for me there I know this is the first book in a series and I think the other books are about different people in this world not about these people so maybe it's to explain better or more and later books I have no idea that's like this weakest point for me is the magic is like it should have been better explained if it was going to go that much into it or better thought out if it was going to go that much into it but like for the most part like I love the political stuff the main characters really liked the protagonists really liked their relationship with each other as well as just them individually the way the magic works just like on like a in the scene type of level really liked it it was really just the kind of like the lore surrounding the magic that like I was like but overall strong recommendation really like it did enjoy and I'm considering waiting on I did really like these characters and since I was just complaining about the world kind of stuff being slightly the weaker point and that's what would carry over into the next book I don't know but like I think she writes characters very well so I would be curious to read it the next book definitely curious my water is boiling and then Fledgling yeah it was I think all this is also a four stars I think it's kind of gimmicky that the main character has like is like an amnesiac and so there's like two ways that you can do like a fish out of water type character either they don't know about this world or this magic and they have like discovered it for the first time or they have amnesia so they're basically discovering it for the first time so I found that as like the way to introduce us to this the representing character has like suffered physical trauma and is like doesn't remember who she is doesn't remember how being a vampire type thing works doesn't remember her family etc so all of that has to be explained to her and therefore to the reader I just feel like that's kind of lazy and for and I feel bad because like for everything else that's going on here like the way it works the political and social commentary the like anthropological way that like the intermingling and cultural social norms of the like vampire type creatures work I think it's all very thoroughly considered and thought out and worked through and explored which is why it bothers me more that that felt so lazy to me oh my god every noise in the world please be quiet out there okay there was just like all the garbage trucks and everything outside then I had to finish making my lunch so I did that oh so yeah uh where was I I think it's a four out of five as well I think this is what I'm saying that like for all of the complexity and intricacy and thoroughness I found it like so blatantly lazy to have the character have amnesia as the way to introduce us to all this that I was like it like stood out to me more like if a book overall is just kind of like whatever then I'm like well of course they just had amnesia but like everything else is so like tip top notch and then there's also quite info dumpy because then basically because this character has amnesia then people she goes from like non playable character to non playable character receiving info dumps about what she is and how that works so like things like that bothered me in terms of like how the book is structured but like the concept and like the themes and the that was really cool and interesting also weird because this book takes place a lot of it takes place where I grew up and it's mentioning places that like I have only ever heard like referenced or talked about in my personal life like if you hear like New York City okay well New York City is a thing that's like in every movie in every show like whatever well like really local places like local local places to where I grew up so like it was just so weird hearing this story about like real vampires when they're talking about like the neighborhood where I grew up or like the hospital where I was born or like that it was just so weird hearing those names it like it felt eerie to hear like every time like a name like that popped up I was like where where really are vampires around anyway so did enjoy very thought-provoking would recommend not not perfect anyway so yeah I'm gonna eat my lunch and probably read American Hippo during my lunch my lunch break in my house and then I'll do a final check-in to sum up this entire experience well I finished American Hippo as promised and I didn't like it any better I've had some time to sit on it though between reading the first novella and the second novella to like why it really doesn't work for me and then I mean it's the author's voice doesn't work for me the characters I don't care about at all like I don't feel like they're fleshed out very well I don't feel like I'm being transported to historical time period or to an old hair alternate history like I feel no atmosphere I don't feel any stakes I don't like I don't know how if I can explain this in a way that makes sense but like I've read like very accurately historical things where it really transport you to a specific place in time I've also read things that are like clearly completely disregarding actual history but they have a distinct sense of time and place unto themselves that is invented by the author but nevertheless transports you to this invented time and place I have no sense of time and place with this neither the like accurate historical version nor like the author's invented version it just feels very like blank and generic and blah and the characters feel like cardboard cutouts and like because of this and all of the anachronisms they just like irritate me all the more because like it's just like one more thing that just like doesn't quite jive doesn't quite like it doesn't feel like a cohesive whole like a cohesive vision for this imagined time and place so yeah this did not work for me and this is also my first Sarah Gailey so I'm a little worried because I wasn't really looking forward to being echo life but um and it's possible that I'll love echo life and this is just like this one doesn't work for me but didn't love the authorial voice here felt it was quite blah and forgettable but of course y'all know how I felt about Destiny's captive I've printed probably the most about this one so I don't really want to say anything else I just did briefly want to mention that like I very much appreciate the like inclusion of like diverse representation in a romance book and I wanted to like this but this is just so not for me and the things that happen in are just so so not okay that said I know Beverly Jenkins is quite a prolific author that being the case I would imagine she's written something that would work for me this wasn't it this would be very angry which is unfortunate I will I am open to giving Beverly Jenkins another go but please no more black male marriages then Rain and Ruin was a romance that did work for me very very much loved the Middle Eastern setting loved the intelligent main character loved the like equality of power and give and take between the two like romantic leads I loved all the politics and there was a lot of good action scenes and it was like more fantasy than romance but like a solid like romance plot definitely definitely really enjoyed this would recommend and Fledgling which is a very unusual book yeah I maintain it is quite the way that I wish that it was longer and it wasn't so info dumpy like I would have really liked to just kind of like spend time with these timeless characters because these characters like I think that's one of the things that I mentioned only lovers left alive in the movie that's one of the things that movie does a really incredible job again I don't it's not a fun movie to watch but it does an amazing job giving you this feeling this sense of what it would be like to just live and live and live and live and live and like your timeline for things would just be really have one oh so like I don't want this book to be just like that movie because again I don't I don't think that movie is perfect for anything but this book was doing so much to really give us a realistic depiction of how society and culture would work with like this this like vampiric type creature coexisting in a symbiotic way with humans and I just I would have liked to just kind of not wallow but like marinate in it in the character's experience in the character's relationships in the character's feelings in in the being of this thing and in the in what it is to be alive as this thing and what what life is to this thing I felt like it was a little bit like in a hurry to get through all of its to get through its pieces so I would have liked it to be longer and more contemplative less info dumpy but overall it was a very interesting and unique book that I'm very thought provoking so I did enjoy it some of those are the four books how are we calling this a win it's it's pretty 50 50 we basically have two fours and a one and I had a one yeah so I know I'm notoriously difficult to choose books for so it was a valiant effort 50 percent isn't bad I sometimes do worse picking for myself when I have a tbr and I have a painting everything that I read so it was a fun experiment if nothing else and again I really did enjoy fledgling and ran in ruins so I totally don't worry about reading those um yeah that is that so let me know in the comments down below your thoughts and feelings about the books that I read about this experiment about if you had any predictions about which books would and wouldn't work for me and if you were right or if you were wrong let me know whatever you want to let me know thanks so much to Bethany for doing this with me it was fun and interesting so yeah that will be all let me know all the things I post videos on Saturdays other random times as well but on these Saturdays so like and subscribe join my Patreon if you feel so inclined and I'll see you when I see you