 The narcissist cannot see you. The narcissist cannot see people as people. They cannot view you as a separate individual or as a living soul. They objectified you. They degrade you to the status of a mere object. A tool or a toy, as if you had no feelings, opinions or rights of your own. They dehumanize you. They deprive you of human qualities, personality and therefore your dignity, which is why they will strip you of your independence and try to control you. Because in their minds you are their possession. You're just this thing that belongs to them. They don't view you as an actual person. But it's not just you. This is something that everyone dealing with a narcissist will experience. Because they view all people as objects that they can control, use, one or own. And they even view themselves as an object. They have an inability to see any human beings as having their own power or their own feelings once preferences or beliefs. Because they don't even see those things. It may seem as though they're ignorant. It may seem as though they just have a lack of knowledge, information or experience. But if that was true they would be able to correct it and make it right. And it's not just that they don't care. It's that they couldn't see it even if they tried. Because they lack consciousness and awareness. They're barely even awake or aware of their surroundings. They lack sensations and emotions. They even lack the ability to see here or become aware of certain things through their senses. Which is why they will often seem as though they're not even listening to what you're saying. At times it may appear as though they're just uninterested or unconcerned. Or as though they just don't care about something. But actually they're not even aware that it exists. They're not receptive or attuned to it. But on a totally different wavelength. They know you have feelings. But your feelings do not mean anything to them. They can't feel what you feel. They lack emotional intelligence. They can't even recognize, understand or manage their own emotions. Which makes it impossible for them to recognize yours. Because it's not of practical relevance to them. It has no significance. It has no deeper meaning. Because they're out of touch with their own feelings once in needs. They're just reacting to things without even knowing why. And they don't even care. They're on autopilot. They're repeating the same patterns and sequences. The same exaggerated and over-emotional scenes over and over again throughout their lives until the day that they die. And there's nothing to make them rise above it. To prevent them from being affected or limited. So as a result they remain unaffected by your feelings and emotions. They have no idea why they even do what they do. And they have no interest in finding out about it. Because it doesn't matter to them. But it may seem as though they are highly attuned to your feelings once in needs and beliefs. Because they use them to manipulate you. They use them to upset you. And sometimes they even use them to create positive feelings within you. But the reality is that even a child could tell you what to do to make people like you. Or to make people not like you. Or how to hurt someone's feelings. Or even how to get them to do what you want. These are things that even a child can grasp and understand. So narcissists do not possess some magical power, intelligence or skill. They've just learned what buttons they need to push to get what they want. But they don't understand how it works on a deeper level. The only skill they have is the willingness and desire to do it. But it can be very effective. Because when they do it, as an empath, you end up fighting yourself. You end up fighting your own feelings of guilt and shame. Or you're holding on to your own fantasy, something that you've just imagined in your head. Or it's cognitive dissonance. Because they're just repeating or displaying what you've said to them. And if it's effective for them and it gives them the result that they want, they will keep repeating it. Which is why if you stop reacting to whatever they typically do to upset you, they will stop doing it. And then they will try something else and hope that it will work. Because they live vicariously through you. They view you as an extension of them. So they use your reactions to see themselves. Which is why if their weapon of choice has no power over you, they will abandon it and try something else. And that is why the abuse tends to escalate over time. As it becomes normalized that they become desensitized. Because they're desperate to see themselves as powerful, important and in control. So they're not really interested in people. They're looking for a mirror. Someone who reflects back to them how they want to see themselves. Or an accessory. Someone who makes them more attractive. Whatever creates an acceptable image for themselves. Which could be anything. Because it's whatever they perceive as powerful. If they believe that there's power in being intimidating, then they will try to scare you. If they believe there's power in being intelligent, they will try to outsmart you or make you look foolish. Because it's not about what you or anyone else believes, it's only about them and it will only ever be about them. Which is why they persist in using other people as mirrors. Even though it's very frustrating and disappointing for them. Because they don't even care about what other people think of them. If they did they might have a better experience. But they only care about how people can make them feel about themselves. Which is a completely different thing. It means that they are only ever attached and connected to themselves. They can't appreciate anything outside of them. Their relationships and even their children are just props to make their performance more believable. To make it more convincing and realistic. Their mirrors to reflect this performance to an audience. And their audience is themselves. Their entire life is a performance of one person for one person and by one person. This is the central part of a relationship with any narcissistic person. And it's why these relationships don't work. Because they don't understand that people are people. They just use people as mirrors to reflect back to them how they want to feel about themselves. People do not exist or matter to them. And that includes themselves. They even view themselves as an object rather than an actual person. They objectify themselves. Which explains why they are so paranoid of being manipulated and controlled. Because they believe that they don't have any power. Which is why everything is always your fault and your responsibility. But a lot of people don't want to accept that narcissists see people as objects. They may think that people are important to narcissists. And while that may be true, they're only important because they use these objects. It's not because they're people who matter. It may seem as though they talk to you because you're special. Or because they can arrange or direct the elements of a situation to produce their desired effect. But the truth is that you do not matter at all. They don't even see you as a person. You're just a tool or an appliance. They may target you and enjoy your suffering. But you do not matter to them as a person. You could be anyone. Because it's all the same. They suffer from extreme selfishness. They lack consideration for other people. They think only of themselves. And even then they don't think of themselves as a person. They see themselves as an object that can be controlled, used, one and owned. People do not exist to narcissists. They don't see you. They never knew you. And they don't care so you are never really a target. Because their true target is themselves and making themselves feel better. They hurt you to help themselves. Which doesn't mean that you matter. In fact it proves that the opposite is true. It proves that you don't matter at all. It shows that you're just a tool. You're replaceable. You're expendable. The only thing they care about is a reaction. And they only care about that because of how it makes them feel. They don't care about how it feels for you. They don't care about how it affects you. They don't even have the ability to see that or understand it. That's not something they even care about. How anything affects you does not matter to the narcissist. The only meaning they can perceive of is how it affects them. Which is what makes them so dangerous. And it's very difficult for us empaths to understand. Because it's instinctive for us to consider the feelings and experiences of other people. It's an intrinsic characteristic. It's something we do unconsciously without even thinking about it. And it's something that we can't stop or control. So at times we may assume that other people are like that. But just remember how many times you had to remind them to consider other people's feelings. Because they can't even understand that other people are feelings or needs. Which is why you constantly have to explain consideration, respect and decency. Because no one is that good of an actor or performer. They are genuinely shocked and confused when you remind them that other people exist. And even when you remind them they will often roll their eyes. Because they don't even care. It means nothing to them. They don't understand. They don't see your essential and distinguishing attributes. They don't see your distinctiveness or peculiarities. They don't see what makes you special. What makes you different from what is usable. Because they don't even see you at all. They will take whatever they can. From whatever is available. Because to them it's all the same. Everyone is an object for them to use. It's not because of a distinctive characteristic that only belongs to you. It's not concerning your private life, relationships or emotions. You're just a tool for a job. You're a mirror that exists to reflect back to them how they want to feel about themselves. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comments section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel you can donate at payable.me search NARC Survivor. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's NARC Survivor the current UK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.