 The Jack Benny program in a cigarette. It's the tobacco that counts and lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw LSMFT LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco so for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strikes Excuse me, this is Kenny Delmar. Excuse me. I have a special announcement for me Herbita and cigarettes are back good news for those who prefer a cock-tipped cigarette Herbita is in his back and there's something about them. You like her betide in his back after being made only for the armed forces Yes, her betide in his back that cock-tipped cigarette her betide them available now for you Yes, her betide in his back and remember there's something about them. You like there's something about them. You like This is Kenny Delmar. I trust you will welcome home her betide them. There's something about them. You like The lucky strike program starring Van Johnson starring Jack Benny Starring Van Johnson with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Dennis Day Don Wilson and you're truly the pickle in the middle Thank you. Thank you and a happy mustard to you Say don't why is it that every time we have a guest star you all hey Jackson don't worry about that now We're on the air and Mary isn't here yet Mary Mary isn't here yet She that's funny Dennis what are you laughing at? You said it was funny Then it's when I said it was funny. I meant it was hard to believe understand well sure you do kid when Jackson says something funny It's hard to believe Well stop being on my side Can't understand Mary not being here. You've never been late before Maybe she overslept. Yeah I'm not gonna wait me longer. I'll call her What is it? Mr.. Benny's line is flashing. Yeah, I wonder what Sarah coga punk wants now Yes, I'll call her home immediately He wants I should get in Mary Livingston And say maybe that reminds me, you know me I hate to strict gossip, but several times lately I hate a room about mr.. Benny and this Livingston. Oh, don't be silly good. So he's old enough to be her father That's the room I hate Figure out why Mary should be delayed for today's program. They're having been Johnson. Oh boy Shangri-La with red hair Looky with a step in here this minute and bow low to us and say with you two charming and beautiful ladies Do me the honor of going dancing with me tonight, babe I'm concerned. I guess it's don't go out with men like Jack Benny Why? Well when a man like Benny buys a kiss and you tell him to stop and he stops, you don't feel too disappointed Time Jack asked me to come up to his apartment to show me his edging and I went Why Mabel Flapsaddle Kind of pictures of a man standing in a plantation holding up a big tobacco leaf Well once I was operator operator. How about my number? I'm ringing it now Hello, isn't this Livingston there? What? He left the house two hours ago see oh For a heaven's sake. I should have known goodbye. What's wrong Jackson? What's wrong Mary's late because she went to pick up Van Johnson in her car I didn't tell her to do that what girls seeing him. I don't know well Jack You've got to admit that he is handsome all right so am I After all what's Van Johnson got that I haven't got yeah What's Van Johnson got that mr. Benny hasn't got quiet Dennis you they're not afraid to answer You know Jack, I don't want to brag but I've heard plenty of people comparing me to him down the van They were comparing you with has furniture sticking out Can't understand why all the girls raised so much about Van Johnson all right, so he's young wait another ten years when he gets to be my age He'll see would you mind repeating that Jackson? I said wait another ten years when Van Johnson gets to be my age Well try to figure out some way to answer that and keep it clean What can't be done so forget it Anyway, Mary and Van Johnson should be here by now, but then this is Sunday is probably a lot of crap Am I driving too fast for you then? Oh, no Mary you're doing fine See Mary it sure is a nice drive from Beverly Hills to the studio. Yeah, I knew you'd enjoy the ride So I took a little roundabout way. I'm glad you did. I've never seen San Diego before Would you like me to roll the window up Mary? No, thanks. I like to win. I was afraid of my blow your hair You have such beautiful hair. Oh, man. When you say things like that, I just get weak all over Oh, Mary look out gosh, didn't you see that bus? Yes, but I thought I could fly over it You better stop Mary the light just turned red. Oh, yeah, the lights are red the violets of Louis V ran out of gas. Who cares? I know I know Mary, but you'd better stop You know when I Can't get a can but you give me a lift as far as I know I'll let you to gotten in here at a punch for right in the nose How do you happen to be a guest on Jack's program? Well, he made such an attractive offer I couldn't turn it down Jack made you an attractive offer. What was it? He said if I gave a good performance, he'd take me to see the outlaw But no kidding man, how much is he paying you to be a guest? Well, as a matter of fact, I forgot to discuss money with him. Oh, what's the matter? The screen actors gill has the country home just for actors who forgot to discuss money with Jack I don't care about the money anyway, you know Mary even if I don't get a cent It'll be worth it just being on the same program with you. Oh Well, I can carry you the rest of the way Here we are van studio B Hello Jack. Here's Van Johnson. Well, well, hello, Van. Hello Jack. Yeah, I'm glad you finally got here Mary, I'll drop you later. I I hope you appreciate my sending Mary over to pick you up Mary one more word out of you in the makeup and he'll take that candle out of the window And I'd like you to meet our little group of pespians. This is Don Wilson He's the fattest little group of pespians. I have a short place to meet you Don Well, I'm certainly glad to meet you, Van. I've always admired your work in pictures. Thank you And this is my Augustan leader Phil Harris. Hello, Phil. Hi, you bub. What are you here from the henna wrench company? Well, you're Van Johnson, huh? Uh-huh. Tell me Johnson. What makes all them James so crazy about you. Oh, I don't know I guess it's just sort of a psychological phenomena. I'm dead Well, please okay, okay, I'm pleased to meet you, man. I've always admired your acting Thank you, Phil. I've always admired your music. Don't get sarcastic Look Phil, Van was just trying to be nice. He really likes your music. Well, what does he like about it? All right, all right, forget it. And Van, Van, this is my vocalist Dennis Day. Glad to know you Dennis. Did I swoon, Mr. Benny? No, no Dennis. That's for girls. Just say hello. Hello. And now Van, I want to tell you Hey, Mr. Johnson. Yes, Dennis. My mother thinks you're wonderful in pictures. Well, thank you. She goes to see every picture you make. Well, I'm flattered. And now Van, I want to tell you- When you smile, she breaks out in big red blocks. Dennis. When she saw you in thrill of a romance, she came home and burned her wedding dress. That's enough, Dennis. That's enough. And now Van- My father got so mad, he broke all the stains in her girdle. Yeah, girdle. Now Van, as I started- It's awful. You might break up our home. Oh, for heaven's sake, look Dennis, it's time for your song. Now go ahead. What a business. My home's being broken up and I have to sing. Yes, yes. Now go ahead. Come over here, Van. I want to tell you about the sketch we're going to do. I hope Marvin likes it. Wonderful song, Dennis, and you sang it beautifully. Yeah, and I can't understand it. My home's being broken up. It'll work out, yes. That really is a lovely song, and you did it beautifully. I, uh, I think it's a beautiful song, too, Jack, but I think the lyrics should be improved. Why, now, what are you talking about? Those lyrics are simply wonderful. Oh, I know, Jack, but if I wrote the song, here's the way I would have done it. Uh, will you give me a little music, please, Phil? Okay, Don, sing. I can't begin to tell you what luck is mean to me For deep down smoking pleasure they are grand The finest mildest smoke that's in the loud They're happy and my home's being broken up. I make such pretty speeches about this cigarette The words I chew You and me are smoking L.S.M.F.P. of a way, of a way I wonder where they got those gray uniforms. Ladies and gentlemen, oh, Van, Van, are you ready? You bet, Jack. Good. And now, ladies and gentlemen, in honor of our guest star, Van Johnson, who was recently seen in Metro Golden Maier's picture weekend at the Waldorf, for our feature attraction tonight, we will present our version of that same picture entitled, A Fork Knit at the Acme Plaza Music, the Acme Plaza Hotel Outwardly calm but within, a seething turmoil of emotion Where mystery meets intrigue Where intrigue meets romance Where romance meets drama Where drama meets drama power Yes, of course, the Acme Plaza Hello, Acme Plaza, where the rift meets the wrath Sorry, Mr. Wrath, Mr. Wrath is out Acme Plaza, a good place to lose a weekend There's a bottle in every chandelier One moment, I'll connect you Hiya, cutie, making any good connections lately? Well, well, if it isn't Sherlock here, it's a house detective How does it feel to be a gumshoe? Now, hold it, baby, I may be a detective, but I ain't no gumshoe You're not? No, not since I got this magnifying glass I'm stepping over that stuff Oh, say, Sherlock, what's the latest dope on that character in Room 417? You know the one who's suspected of killing 23 wives? Well, I'm working on that as soon as we find the bodies We'll be able to pin it on him Uh, find the bodies? Where do you think he's hiding them? I don't know, but that rug in his room is getting awful lumpy Yes, folks, the Acme Plaza Where mystery meets suspense Where suspense meets romance Where gravel Gertie meets B.O. Planty Hello, Gertie The Acme Plaza Yes, babe, when Sherlock cares, he always finds out what's going on Excuse me, Room 317 is calling That's the big business tycoon, the one that owns all the railroads Oh, yeah, I understand he's kind of sweet on you Hello Hello, baby, you know who this is? Yes, you're that great, big, important business tycoon That's me, the one and only, Martindale Schnook Uh, what can I do for you, Snooking? I want to know if you'll go out with me tonight Well... I'll give you anything your little heart desires I'm rich, I own railroads, lots of railroads The New York Central, Santa Fe, Baltimore, Ohio, the Southern Pacific I know, I know, you own all the railroads in the country All except one, and they won't sell me that I've got to have it! I've got to have it! Which railroad is that? The one that goes Bromacelle to Bromacelle to Bromacelle to Bromacelle I'm crazy, three ways Well, Snookie, keep trying I will, goodbye Guys, the one and only, Martindale Schnook in love with me Operator, would you please get me Room 212? My name is Van Johnson One moment, please I'm sorry, but 212 doesn't... What are you staring at? You... Gosh, but you're beautiful What? You're wonderful The minute I saw it, I first saw it, I knew you were the one for me Look, would you please go out with me tonight? No, no, no, go away, you're not my type, you're not... Give me that again, will you? Would you please go out with me tonight? No, no, go away, you're not my... Yep, that's what it says here Oh, the Acme Plaza, where boy meets girl Where girl meets boy Where I once had a routine, but it was cut out at rehearsal The Acme Plaza Look, honey, I'm lonesome, and you're so beautiful Lonesome? Didn't you ever have a girl? Only once, but I gave her up Her eyes were like two-limpet pools Two-limpet pools, and why did you give her up? Her nose looked like a diving board Oh, please forgive me Please say that you'll go out with me Well, I don't know, there's a big railroad man in this hotel Who's in love with me A railroad man? Well, don't you think it's time for a switch? Oh, it's nice, and you've got a million freckles and a jolt Under every one of them What? Oh, forgive me Well, I'm excited, I don't know what I'm saying But I do know that I want to marry you Say that you'll be mine I'm sorry, but I'll have to think it over Think it over, think it over, that's what they all say What's wrong with me? Why can't I get a girl? Why can't I... Pardon me, operator Would you please ring Miss Lana Turner's room? Lana Turner? Yes, sir Take it on phone number three, please Thank you Hello, Lana? This is Van Jackson Yes, yes, I know my voice sounds like honey dripping into your ear But you always have to keep telling me that What? No, I'm sorry, I can't take you out tonight I know I promise you this afternoon, but I can't make it Oh, now, Lana, don't feel that way What? Lana, put down that gun, you will get over it I don't care if it is a water pistol, you'll drown yourself Well, all right, call me next week And stop sending me orchards, my room is full of them Goodbye Thank you, operator Hey, imagine turning down a date with Lana Turner Who is he? That's Van Jackson, the glamour boy Gosh, I wish I could be like that Well, you can't accomplish it overnight He's been working on it for over 50 years Do you think it might help me if I went over and talked to him? Sure, what have you got to lose? I beg your pardon, Mr. Jackson Do you mind if I ask a favor of you? Why no, no, no, go right ahead Well, I was standing over there by the switchboard And I heard you talking to Lana Turner Oh, good, good I thought maybe I wasn't talking loud enough Now, what's on your mind, son? I'm in love with that telephone operator And I just can't get anywhere I don't know what's the matter with me But girls just don't seem to like me They don't? No Well, I can understand that, kid Look at your face You have too many friends You have too many freckles Too many? Yes Now, my complexion is perfectly clear And look at your eyes They have no expression They haven't? No Now, if you'll notice, my eyes sparkle Yes, they do And look at your hair My hair? Yes Now, take mine Thanks Put that back Now, listen, kid The trouble with you is that you probably haven't got the right approach You're too timid If you want to take that telephone operator out tonight You can't walk over and say May I have a date? You got to go over there and say, listen, babe You're going out with me tonight, see? We're going to the Macambo And you're going to pay the... No, not the first time Now, go ahead, walk over there and do as I tell you I'll be right behind you Gee, thanks, Mr. Jackson Now, listen, babe Huh? I've been strolling around here long enough You're going out with me tonight and that settles it What? I said, you're going out with me tonight Gee, they're Macambo Then can we go to the other places too? Other places? You say you're not satisfied? You say you want more? Tell you what I'm going to do Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to let you in on something hot You'll be sure to win on what I've got Looky, looky, looky You'll be fully guaranteed Never to be lonely Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to lay it gently on the line Lay it sentimentally, please be mine Hurry, hurry, hurry Who can tell where this will lead? Baby, if you only knew Here's a chance for a solid thing Life's on, don't throw it away Here's a heart, and I'll make delivery today You say you're not satisfied? Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to do the things you want me to Be the one who brings the skies of blue Nothing will be too good every day A new good deal Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to fall in love with you Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to pick the shirts and ties you wear I'm going to change the way you part your hair Under my direction you can be perfection soon Pardon me for living Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to be the one who loves you most Be the one who keeps me warm as cold Nothing will be too good every day A new good deal Tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to fall in love with you Everything happens at the Acre Plaza You say you're not satisfied? You say you didn't like our play? You say you want more entertainment? Tell you what I'm going to do Here's Mr. Effie Boone of Lexington, Kentucky Take it away, Effie In a cigarette it's the tobacco that counts And lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, sir LSMFT Year after year at market after market The makers of lucky strike consistently Select and buy that fine, that light That naturally mild tobacco Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco Of course LSMFT Remember, lucky strike means fine tobacco And in a cigarette it's the tobacco that counts So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco Lucky strike So round, so firm, so fully packed So free and easy on the draw The famous tobacco auctioneers were done The nice programmer Mr. Effie Boone of Lexington, Kentucky Speaker 49 American And Mr. L.A. speed rakes of Goldsborough, North Carolina Negative actually As we rise for the next photo LSMFT L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. So for your own real deep-down smoking enjoyment, smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, lucky strike. Ladies and gentlemen, during this past week, our nation has been saluting boys' clubs of America, the purpose of which is the social, physical, educational, vocational, and character development of boys from eight to twenty years of age. Now more than ever, we should look forward to building boys into better men, which is the motive of the boys' clubs of America. There are roughly a quarter of a million members, and many prominent men and women serve on the board of directors. We can all help promote this fine organization by getting in touch with our local boys' clubs of America. They need us. We need them. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, the song I'm going to fall in love with you was written by Johnny Green and Ralph Blaine and sung for the first time by Mary and Van Johnson. Van Johnson appeared here tonight to the courtesy of MGM, producers of A.J. Cronin's The Green Years. Say, Van. Yeah, Jack? I meant to ask you this picture, The Green Years. How come that you're not in that one? Well, the leading man called for a man old enough to be my father. Oh. Say, Jack, how did I think about it? Oh, go count your freckles. Good night. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.