 So I usually don't talk about celebrity news or entertainment that often on the program But I felt like this was something that I kind of wanted to discuss Why Kendrick Lamar's auntie diaries has polarized at the LGBTQ plus community now I'm not sure how many of you have listened to Kendrick Lamar's latest album I've got to say I've listened to it a couple of times and I love it. I'm a fan of Kendrick Lamar So I was kind of biased, you know going into this album But I didn't hear auntie diaries until I heard about the controversy for it Now why is auntie diaries controversial and why has it polarized the LGBTQ plus community? Well, there's two things about this song that I think are undeniable first is that it is an unapologetic message of love and acceptance of LGBTQ plus people and It's really really nice to see that but the second thing that I think is undeniable about this is that It's told in a very raw and rough way and offensive way quite frankly You know, he uses slurs in this He is using it in the context of this is what we used to say, you know We were homophobic before and then towards the end of the song He corrects himself and he stopped using the F slur and then he says F bomb And he explains why he was hypocritical to use that himself so he's he's telling this story of You know how he came to accept his trans Trans auntie and his trans cousin and how he rejected the Religious bigotry that was coming out of the church and how they targeted his cousin and you know, it's it's really it's a great great story and like hearing his Thinking the way that he kind of came to accept them I think this is really really valuable But at the same time there are some people who just they don't want to hear slurs Even in a proper context where it's not necessarily intended to be hateful and everyone kind of has a different tolerance level Like for me it takes a lot to really offend me And so a long time ago on the the program I can't remember what the context was but I used it the F slur I might have just like read it in an article or read a comment back to me and Somebody commented who's old older from the lgbtq plus community and said look I understand that you know younger gay people Might be okay with this when they say it to each other But us older gays it just it hits differently because even though things aren't perfect for you all like we would get beat for being gay So these slurs they don't just like you can't just let it roll off your back as easily like it feels like a dagger and you know to an extent I I kind of like I sympathize with that right because the F slur to me It does hurt it hurts a lot, you know, and it's not just the F slur any like anti-gay slur You know it when I was younger I was called a sissy by adults who thought that I was too effeminate You know in in school I remember a kid telling me that I act like a girl because I was too girly and effeminate And that really hurt my feelings because I liked being a boy. I had no issues with my gender It's just that I was being myself and my natural self was a little bit too effeminate Compared to my my classmates. So, you know, I understand how your experiences are going to kind of drive your view and different people We'll have different tolerances and you can't expect people to just Embrace, you know the F slur even if the context is appropriate for me personally, however Um, the use of the F slur doesn't bother me in this context because Kendrick Lamar's overall message is of love and acceptance So he's giving you this message of love and acceptance in a really rough and kind of an ugly package But at the same time, you know, the end product is still the same. So to me, I Don't feel bothered by that now There's a really good analysis from Connor who kind of breaks it down Gives you the context because he also he doesn't just say the F slur He dead names his cousin as well, but I think that Connor gives us some really good insight But I just want to say off the bat There are people who cannot listen for their own mental health purposes To the F slur or being dead named. I mean if you're a trans person and You are rejected by your family and they dead name you because they refuse to acknowledge your identity that's Hearing it here is going to really really be depressing and demoralizing so you you're gonna have people who just They're not going to like the way that this message was delivered And I want to share some of those opinions And then I'm gonna both sides this and we're gonna share the opposite opinion of Connor Who I agree with here, you know overall Things that this is a net positive even if it's it's rough, right? So we're not gonna read the article, but I want to get to some tweets here It's gonna take me a minute to process a song like auntie diaries Where dead naming and misgendering will be defended as a raw and honest look at inartificial acceptance This is a song made for straight people to congratulate themselves for having the conversation And I think that to an extent that is um, that is true FD signifier here has some pretty good takes That said it's important to remember That as cis men we are outsiders to this experience and thus can't dictate that trans people respond to our intentions versus our impact And that's really important, right? Like you can't tell a trans person that dead naming is okay when you're never going to be dead named, you know So you can't expect people To not react a certain way When there is this language that's used that's so hurtful I think kendred wanted to explicitly engage with his peers around this experience of confusion and the clumsiness of growth And thus wanted to embody how this conversation would look between other cis head black men in a safe space I think that's also fair be wary of dismissing that that's a privilege. We have some black men scoff at the idea of having privilege Um, I'm just saying I've never worried about being misgendered. Remember the cringe of maclemore's white privilege songs. Yeah, that's us It's okay, though That song wasn't really for black people. This song wasn't really for trans people. I think it's an important moment But uh, I won't be talking down any queer folks who are unimpressed and I feel like this is basically The best thing that you could say about this right I think this is the best thing that you can say because It is an important moment. The message is undeniably Necessary, especially right now. I like to have a rapper who's as famous as kendrick lemar Talk about trans acceptance In a very explicit way. I mean the song it's not subtle at all. It's very pro trans Uh, you know, that's that's important But you have to acknowledge that certain people have different levels of tolerance for me My tolerance level is high enough to where I can still enjoy the song from kendrick Kendrick lemar and the f slur doesn't bother me But if it was in a different context, it would bother me a lot So when I first came out, I had a family member who was homophobic Use the f slur, uh, not necessarily directed at me But just like referring to something that was happening on tv And I immediately had to correct them and say, please don't say that because It just right now my feelings are still raw You called me a degenerate and rejected me Um and told me I should kill myself. So hearing you say that It hurts But there were other family members who accepted me and embraced me But you know just having a conversation they used the f slur it slipped out And they said oh my god. I'm so sorry mike But my response is It's okay. Like this is a learning process. I know that coming from you You weren't trying to offend me and so people are imperfect, right? And that's why I kind of understand Where kendrick lemar is coming from because you know the f slur Bad words against gay people just in general that was like That was used gratuitously. So he's He's basically doing a period piece of sorts and explaining this to everyone So I want to get to connor's taker because connor breaks down the lyrics and I think this is really valuable here So kendrick lemar's auntie diaries off mister morrell and the big steppers is an incredible song about trans acceptance And intersectionality, but a lot of people are hung up on some of its problematic elements Here's a thread attempting to clear up the confusion The song begins in the frame of a narrative retelling of events that happened in kendrick's past with his trans uncle and cousin Here he explains how back in elementary school He was aware his uncle was trans and aspired to be like him in some ways They had a good relationship And uh, this is what he talks about in the song definitely listen to it. It's it's a really good song The beat is great as well and it's kendrick lemar. So I mean it's good So if you want to get the full context, you know, you should listen, but connor's breakdown is really important Young kendrick asks his mom why his other uncles didn't like his trans uncle and his mom Who seems more accepting uses a simplified excuse to attribute their bigotry to jealousy Simultaneously delegitimizing their bigotry while reinforcing kendrick's respect for his uncle A lot of people have problems with kendrick's kendrick's use of the afslur here But it's important to remember the narrative frame the song uses this becomes incredibly relevant at the apex of the song He's speaking about how casual homophobia is normalized even in elementary school. And so that's why I think that the context is really important because He says afslur afslur afslur, you know, we we ain't no no better. That's what he says But he's referring back to the mindset where this was so normal and they'd use it like nothing But when he's into the new mindset towards the end of the song You know, he'd talk about the f-bomb and how it's not okay for him to use it and how it was explained to him by his trans Cousin that it's it's not okay But connor's gonna get to that Here kendrick talks about how his respect for his uncle helped him start growing out of the homophobia Transphobia he grew up with going so far as to use a similar tactic His mother used to delegitimize the bigotry expressed by his friends while gassing up his uncle Here he talks about his incredibly positive relationship. And by the way, I will link you to this thread if you want to read it But um, because I'm not going to go through all the lyrics. It'll take too long, but um Oh, it's con your con your okay. Sorry con your Con your con your okay. I'm sorry con your I ruined it. Okay Con your thank you for correcting me said so, you know, this was his life He had experience with somebody who was trans And you know, this is what led him to ultimately become more accepting but still even though you have someone in your life who's like this Um, you know, you can have Homophobic views and you can say homophobic things and not even realize it and that's what uh, kendrick is addressing here Here he talks about his incredibly positive relationship with his uncle But most importantly expresses how his uncle was the first person he saw writing raps Essentially saying that without his trans uncle's influence You might not even be listening to the song right now And that's why this is so important because like he is humanizing his uncle A lot of people don't have this experience or don't know a trans person And so kendrick lemar is saying like because of this person. I'm who I am today This person set me on this path. This person is important. This is a human being and we should love and expect accept them The first time kendrick's trans cousin mentioned he talks about how his uncle's uh, trans um X helped inform his cousins reinforcing the importance of trans visibility We assume his cousin learned more about gender through kendrick's uncle solidifying similar feelings. She's had here kendrick dead names his trans cousin Mary Ann many have had an issue with this But again, it's a narrative retelling through the song this line's repeated young kendrick out of ignorance likely said this Not knowing the pain it caused its use is an expression of guilt And that is and that is the way that I perceived it when I um When I listened He goes on to say that his family was more accepting of his trans uncle Than his cousin and that even though his family was shocked by the news He wasn't this could be because of his experience with trans issues given his relationship with his uncle So even so this is such a good moment It's so touching because he knew that his his cousin was trans even before she came out He saw her for who she was because he was raised in this community You know raised by his uncle to admire his uncle see him as a human being Here kendrick talks about how his cousin became more insular as a result of pushback She faced because of her id identity the story the stories at middle school now and the f slur come up again This time it's in the context of how he started to notice that its use affected his cousin negatively The dead naming of katlyn Jenner is in reference to the time period being discussed She came out in 2015 which was a big moment for trans visibility because of her history as an athlete and media figure Kendrick's cousin transitioned before katlyn changed her name Here kendrick talks about how his relationship with his cousin changed as his ignorance of trans issues Caused him to do a variety of offensive things like misgendering Dead naming the f slur the use of these things in the narrative are deliberate to explain this And that's why I feel like his use of these these um these slurs and whatnot. It makes sense because he's saying I'm I was guilty of this. We all did this We're we're bad To have done this and I understand how I've grown and I love the context here how he explains how you know he Before anyone was talking mainstream about trans issues, you know trans people have always existed But they've only had visibility recently But he's saying you know even before we learned about katlyn Jenner You know my family already had experience with trans people so but still you know even with that experience He had ignorance. He had blind spots and he fought through that Here we begin to learn about an event that happened at church kendrick explains that in spite of the church's negative view of lgbt qia plus people His cousin was still religious more than the cis head people showing us that he became more aware of the oppression his cousin faced The preacher dead names marianne and goes on to say that her sins Were to blame for the ills of the world kendrick seeing his cousin accused of something so severe causes conflict within him As he's aware his cousin's faith is still being it's still strong despite the bigotry that she faces We assume at this point kendrick's talked to uh Marianne about her religion and how it conflicts with her identity Even still because her faith is so strong She keeps her head down and stands firm in her convictions. Now we approach the apex of the song The preacher goes on to out marianne and kendrick and kendrick's uncle to the entire church And this really was like a turning point for kendrick Where it really clicked for him like he kind of just grew up with trans people being normalized because of his uncle But this is where it all came into perspective for him The preacher goes on to out marianne and kendrick's uncle to the entire church kendrick realizes how wrong the preacher's condemnation is On a humanitarian level as well as how it contradicts the teaching of their religion which provokes him to confront the preacher kendrick tells the preacher about how his uh Denunciation of his two trans family members contradicts the church's teachings While he empathizes with how people's religious upbringing informs their bigoted views. He makes it clear. They don't justify it Marianne thanks kendrick for being a good ally and standing up for her This is a profoundly powerful act as the amount of social ramification He could have faced might have caused irreparable damage to his life But his love for his trans family members was far more important He apologizes for his use of the f slur even censoring it this time and explains how his lack of education on lgbtq Ia plus topics calming in the common in the us led to his ignorance Also explains how he previously thought how the intent with which you used a word was made Was what made them harmful fast forwarding to the in the narrative marianne recalls a 2018 show where kendrick brought A white audience member on the stage to rap about mad city Where she went on to rap the song verbatim saying the n word he got offended and cut her off Telling her to believe believe out the word marianne uses this to help kendrick understand how the use of the f slur Affects her by flipping the script on him. This helps him understand his own hypocrisy being straight while saying the slur While not thinking it's okay for a white person to say the n word in a song This is a very powerful way for kendrick in the current day through this song to explain how homophobia and transphobia Have real world impacts on people in the same way racism has had impacts on himself This is not to draw equivalencies but rather explain intersectionality and this is through his perspective remember So that's what made sense to him Is his cousin explaining this to him Kendrick's views on these issues seem to be informed in a big way by the fact that he has lgbt qia plus family members This is often a powerful way for people to learn about the oppression of people whose identities they don't share affect them This is why the current war on women rovey wade lgbt qia plus Don't say gay and black and brown people crt being waged by conservative centers around education The right wants to stop people from being able to have experiences like kendrick had Precisely it this stops people knowing they're oppressed and stops allies from standing with them Intersectional leftism is the only way to liberate us all only solidarity between all marginalized people and allies is strong enough to break the tyranny Of the minority patriarchal white supremacy. I've looked over these lyrics countless times It's very clear that everything in this song is deliberate It's an in-your-face retelling of the events that led a previously ignorant kendrick lemar to become understanding of lgbt qia Bless people and provoked him to fight for them. It's valid to be confronted with the problematic elements of this narrative and react with pain That's literally what the story is describing How the pain of all oppressed peoples is connected and how the ignorance passed down through generations has us harming each other I hope this long effort post has helped anybody who had legitimate concerns about the content of the song Kendrick lemar using his platform in the current climate to advocate for liberation of trans people is powering It's powerful. He didn't have to but out of love. He did be well and like standing ovation to konyer here for uh for describing this in great detail I saw this before I heard the song and I thought okay. This is probably going to be a message That is relatively cryptic even looking at the lyrics like when you listen to it Would it hit differently and no when I listen to what I thought Wow This really is explicitly accepting and affirming of trans people So it's uh in my opinion the song is beautiful, but at the same time people Who can't get past the efsler who can't get past the dead naming? That's a valid thing. That's absolutely valid, but the reason why I appreciate this so much is because people who aren't necessarily inclined to hear the trans perspective are going to get it through This medium through Kendrick lemar and from for me. I think that that's absolutely invaluable So if you're offended by the use of the efsler and the dead naming I think that's perfectly valid. Everyone's going to have a different tolerance level Uh despite the context, but still um, I personally really like this song And so I just wanted to share my perspective. I absolutely do not speak for all LGBTQIA plus people I can't speak for trans people because I'm a cis man, but just like uh, you know sharing my perspective and you know Seeing how clumsy, you know people Were when they were learning to respect me as a gay man and And understand how some of the things that they told me were a little bit fucked up like saying well I love you. I love everyone's sin. You know seeing how they were learning in real time and to have Kendrick lemar retell the way that he learned in real time I feel like it's such a beautiful message I feel like if you don't have someone in your family who's gay or trans it is impossible to understand that So the only way that you really get uh, to understand how they feel Is if you see it in mass media. So like I've said this before and it sounds corny, but I think it's true I think that glee did wonders to normalize homosexuality And so for Kendrick lemar To explain the pain that his trans uncle and cousin felt I think that is going to absolutely help to normalize this issue and that's why overall I think the context matters most to me than the slurs itself if you haven't listened to the album I would highly recommend it. It's very good. Um, it's not just like good lyrically And substantively, but I mean the entire album is like It's produced beautifully. I just I can't speak highly enough of it and I have it I've only given it like three lessons so far. Maybe four lessons, uh, you know here and there, but it's great