 The Jack Benny program. It's presented by Lucky Strike. In a cigarette, it's the tobacco that counts, and- LS-MFT. LS-MFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Yes, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Remember what happens at the tobacco auction? Check the bar. Year after year, at market after market, independent tobacco experts present at the auctions can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently Select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco just listen to what mr.. James w. Adams for 22 years an Independent tobacco warehouseman of south boston, virginia recently said about the fine tobacco He's seen bought for the makers of lucky strike I've been a tobacco warehouseman for 22 years and down through the years I've seen the makers of lucky strike by fine tobacco real quality tobacco the kind of tobacco That's bound to give a good smoke for 15 years lucky to bend my regular smoke so for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment take a tip from the experts and light up a lucky light Up a really fine cigarette puff by puff you'll see LS MFT LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Livingston Phil Harris Rochester dentistry and yours truly Don Wilson ladies and gentlemen Let's go out to Jack's home in Beverly Hills Jack and Rochester are puttering around the kitchen and at the moment they're defrosting and cleaning out their refrigerator Well, it's all wiped out Rochester now put the butter back first. Yes, sir Say boss, what do you want me to do with this leftover roast beef? Save it. We'll make hash out of it. How about this leg of lamb we had last Thursday? Save that too. We'll make hash out of it. What shall I do with this leftover roast pork? Save it. We'll make hash out of that too. What shall I do with this 30 pounds of leftover hash? Save it. We'll make stew out of it Wait a minute. What's in that? What's in what that round flat can in the freezing compartment? Oh, I just put that in there since the weather got hot What is it the film of the horn blows at midnight and put in this package I want to store it there all summer. Say that's a mighty big package. What's in it? Miss Livingston's fur coat. I Made her a better deal than I J Fox Well, that's about all Rochester you can close the refrigerator. Yes, sir Oh, Rochester open the refrigerator again. I want to take out some ham for a sandwich. It's too late, boss The time lock is set for tomorrow morning You know, I'm so hungry. Oh by the way, Professor LeBlanc is coming over pretty soon to give me a violin lesson So I better I'll get it boys Mr.. Benny's residents scarves stage green radio and remember our slogan during the summer You can save some cash by storing your first right next to our heads to mr.. Jack Benny, please just a moment miss It's for you boys. Thanks. Hello, mr. Benny. This is Betty Stewart of the Associated Press Associated Press yes last week in a press interview Fred Allen said that if you're as bad on television as you are on radio People will receive your program on a 10-inch airway The Associated Press wants to know if you'd like to make any comment about mr. Allen. I certainly would Put a man on the phone Mr.. Betty, I'm used to that kind of language. I used to work in a bingo parlor Thing you'd like to say about mr. Allen Yes, you can quote me as saying the reason Fred Allen doesn't go on television is because he doesn't want to spoil an illusion And illusion yes on the radio everybody thinks he's alive Unquote goodbye Who was that boss and the Associated Press one of our competitors no no, Roger. That's a newspaper. They don't press clothes They gather news for all the Come in Jackson. What you say Chester? The Jackson is something I want to talk to you about. Oh, what is it? Well, I'd like to talk to you alone Rossi, would you mind leaving the room? Okay? What do you want to talk to me about Phil? Close the other door will you? Sure, what is it Phil Jackson? I want to borrow some money Money How how much $2,000 you know You don't feel life is funny You know if we were doing a radio program now and you came in and asked me for $2,000 I'd have to turn you down with a joke. Yes But now we're not on the radio so I can turn you down without a joke Life funny, but Jackson now wait a minute. You can't turn me down. I gotta have two thousand dollars So what in the world do you need all that money for well after we go off the air this summer? I'm going on tour with my orchestra on tour. Yeah, and we're gonna go to Texas then Louisiana then through Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia Why are you only going through the South look dad only know one song and I ain't taking no chance Well, Phil, what do you need the $2,000 for me traveling expense? Oh, no, no, that's all taken care of but I promised all my boys I'd buy him new tuxedos. Well, it's about time at least they look nice while they're playing Oh, no, they ain't gonna wear them on the bandstand. They're gonna use them to pick up extra money during the daytime Tuxedos in the daytime. Yeah, they double as Paul bears and Remle's in great demand Remle is a Paul bearer. Why both of his arms are on the same side Well, I never noticed that while he was playing the guitar Well, look Phil, I'd like to lend you the money but now wait a minute Jackson wait a minute now I'm not asking this as a friend. I'm willing to make it the regular business deal. I'll sign papers and everything What would you be willing to put up security? Yeah, but not like the last time We missed the kids Well, you don't have to put up security just sign the papers as usual or Rochester, Rochester What is it boss? Mr. Harris is going to sign a legal agreement. Bring me a sheet of paper a pen and a sharp knife. Yes, sir All right, Phil roll up your sleeve Jackson can I sign an ink this time? Okay, you've been with me a long time. I'll go down to my vault to get the money you write out an IOU What an IOU I spell it Rochester I'll show you I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm going down to the ball I hope the drawbridge is strong You can take it with you. Oh, mr. Benny. Yeah, glad you came down, mr. Benny I haven't had a chance to thank you for my Christmas present. Did you like it in it's the nicest calendar I ever had Good and it isn't that a pretty picture on it. Yes, what is it? It's a girl And what's that thing she's holding? Oh, that's a telephone. Oh That's a girl and that's a telephone. Yes, it was invented in 1876 the girl no no no No, excuse me, Ed. I'd like to open the safe. Should I commit suicide? No, no, I just close your eyes Now let's see Right to 45 Left to 60 Back to 15 And left to 110 There that reminds me I must ask Phil what he's gonna play on the program Phil wants $2,000 I'll take $2 for my violin teacher And I better take an extra five. I may go to Las Vegas for the weekend There Well, goodbye Ed take care of yourself. I will oh by the way, mr. Benny Would you mind mailing this letter for me? No, no, not at all. It's very important Would you put it on the pony yourself if they take it by trains now an aeroplane? I'll explain it to you later. So long. Goodbye, mr. Benny Guys haven't got used to the light yet Here's your money. Thanks Jackson. I really appreciate it. You're welcome. But don't forget I want it back in 90 days So long Phil so long g in any Yeah, I hope Phil doesn't borrow money from me too often. He can't afford the interest. Oh, well, that's his worry Say boss while you were down the ball professional Blanche wife called and said he wouldn't be able to Come on and give you a violin lesson. Why not? She said he sprained his ankle and can't go out Well, gee, I don't want to miss my lesson. I'll go over to his house Rochester, I'll get my violin you get the car. You can't use the car boss. The two front wheels are out of line Are they much out of line? I think so once in the garage and the others on Wiltshire Boulevard Take the street car. I'll get my violin now and oh darn it. Just when I'm in a hurry. Come in Hi, Jack. Oh, gee. Oh gee karma's quite a surprise. What brings you around here? Well, Jack I won't take up much of your time. I just thought maybe you'd like to buy a song buy a song. Mm-hmm What's a man like you? Hoagie Carmichael doing going around from door to door selling song. Well, Jack It's a long story remember that night three years ago at the Academy Awards when Sam Gowan called me Hugo Yeah Well ever since then Hugo became a sensation What about Hoagie? He's a bum Wait a minute. Don't tell me Hoagie Carmichael a man who wrote stardust an old buttermilk sky can't sell a song I can't understand it either Jack and I have some wonderful new ones I just finished a beautiful love song called she didn't realize he was alive till he got him alone on Mulholland Drive. Oh Yes, yes, I heard that then I wrote another one called I bought a television set for my girl and now she's in love with Milton Burl It's very good very good. Yeah, then I wrote another song. It's very topical. What's the name of it? Everything is strictly kosher since the Giants got back Leo de Rocher Song isn't popular. It's struck out on the hip parade Yeah, that's a shame. Yeah, I got a new one. I brought along with me and I want you to listen to it Well, Hoagie, what makes you think I'll be interested in it? Well, just let me sing it for you and you'll know the reason why I've got the music right here Well good, I'll get my violin and accompany you. Wait a minute Jack. It's a new song. Give it a fighting chance Okay, okay, come on. Let's hear it I'm getting tired of these cattle and the herd in them on a horse that's a hope and he'll die I'm going down to a ranch and a winter named Blanche where the living is easy as pie I'm getting tired of these tumble wheat cigarettes tired of eating baked beans from a tin I'm gonna marry that ranch and the winter named Blanche though. I know she's as ugly as sin Then I'll be smoking Lucky's LSMFT and all day With the shave and the shine and tobacco. That's fine. How could I do any better cause life will be Just a key and it lays these sort of a way I'll be boss of that ranch if I have to kiss Blanche and thank my lucky stars. I matter Getting tired of this dreaming about city life without a red hot scent in my jeans I'm going down to a ranch and a winter named Blanche who was known as the lady of means I'm getting tired of these mockingbirds are mocking me when I'm a cuss and things are biting my hide I'm gonna marry that ranch and the winter named Blanche though. I know she's seven foot wide, then I'll be smoking Lucky's LSMFT and all day With the shave and the shine and tobacco. That's fine. How could I ever feel keener cause life will be Just a key and in the lazy sort of a way I'll be boss of that ranch if I have to kiss Blanche to stay where the grass grows really swell I like the way the commercial was worked in there, you know, but thanks Jack Would you like to buy that song? Well, I haven't got time to discuss it right now You see I've got to catch the street car and go take a violin lesson. Oh, well call me tomorrow. Okay, okay, so long Jack so long Roger, I'm gonna take my lesson now. I'll be home for dinner. Did I get your fare? Oh my fare. Here's a trance say You're Jack Benny, aren't you? Yes. Yes, you were in London, England last summer. Weren't you? Yes. Yeah, how did you know this transfer he gave me is from the Piccadilly bus company? Give you that one. That was a mistake. Here's a dime. Thanks. I bet you're surprised to see a celebrity like me riding a street car No, when they're on their way down, they save every way they can Hear the car, please step to the rear of the car. All right. All right. Let me know when it's West 6th Street Excuse me Excuse me. Hello, Mr. Benny. Huh? You can sit here by me. Oh, hello Dennis Where are you going? I'm going down to the doctors and have my appendix taken out. Where are you going? Did I hear that right Dennis? You're going to have your appendix out Why not? I have an insurance policy that entitles me to an operation Well, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. No, it isn't after I read my policy I thought it would be smarter to have my appendix taken out Why was either that or have a baby And say Dennis what kind of insurance is this you've got anyway. Oh, it's a good policy, mr. Benny It's full coverage full coverage. Yeah for truck runs over me. They fixed the truck Well, let's not talk about that anymore Mind if I read your newspaper kid. No, go ahead. I'm finished with it Thank you know they lifted the blockade in Anaheim. I know they lifted the blockade in Anaheim Yeah, they're letting in oranges from Azusa Breaks records at Preakness say mr. Benny. We're going with your violin. I won't take my lesson from professor LeBlanc Oh, you're not kidding me. You're going downtown and play in some street corner Silly would you go downtown and sing on some street corner? I don't have to I got two shows. Oh Yes, who's that? Yeah, I cannot understand you you sit there with a sprammed ankle and yet there is such a happy look on your face We must sherry because of this ankle. I do not have to give mr. Benny a violin lesson Yeah, this mr. Benny. He is a moving picture star. No, we he's a moving picture star. No He is on the radio. Oh, you know the program that starts Touché bar touché tombé say with me fair come and saw Maybe it is the landlord no no he would not come to a dump like this. I Will see oh, how do you do does professor LeBlanc live here? Oh, yeah, I am mrs. LeBlanc Well, I'm Jack Benny Sacre bleu Hey professor, I heard what happened to you so I came over here for my lesson Thank you Professor, how's your sprained ankle a dismal failure? Nothing nothing if you are here for a lesson, let's get it over with we I mean, yes Now professor when you were giving me my last lesson, what were we doing? You were playing the blue Danube and I was picking up the dead flies Anyway, what number what number do you want me to play today the same one you have been practicing for weeks and weeks and weeks Minuet lentique. Oh, yeah. Yeah, here. I'll get my violin out of the case Susette aren't you going to kiss me? Goodbye? I Am not going out. You will in a minute Does not make any difference. I Have to be in tune. Shall I start with the minuet lentique start start start with anything? No, Mr. Benny every week you make the same mistake. How many times do I have to tell you it is not that You have to slide Sacre bleu Thank you. What is it? So that what we Oh professor, what did she say? It loses something in the translation, but it means you stink To get ahead by increasing your own personal measure of financial security and independence If you haven't been buying savings bonds regularly start now Put more opportunity in your future Invest in United States savings LS MFT LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco and in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts. Yes It takes fine tobacco to make a fine smoke and in each and every lucky strike in every pack in every carton There's fine light naturally mild tobacco. No doubt about it LS MFT LS MFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco and this fine lucky strike tobacco gives you all the real deep down Smoking enjoyment you expect and deserve in your cigarette So light up a lucky light up a really fine cigarette and smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike So round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw So the very next time you step up to a cigarette counter ask for a carton of lucky strike Good night doll. Good night everybody