 Halloween ends just hit theaters and it's streaming on Peacock, so if you don't want to go out and sit next to the guy with a grab bag full of popcorn chewing obnoxiously loud and slurping on a soda, you can check it out right at home on the cock. But is it worth your precious time to begin with? Well, I'm going to let you know right now in a spoiler-free review of Halloween ends. People don't like being sold a fake bill of goods, is what I'm told. And that's kind of what Halloween ends is. If you're going in looking for a Lori Strode vs. Michael Myers showdown like the posters all tease, you get it, but you're going to have to pay a price. And that price is an entirely different movie than the previous two films set up. I'm not going to go any further than that, but think Season of the Witch. If you saw Halloween 3, think Rob Zombie's ho- No, I would never compare it to those terrible films. I know some people like the Rob Zombie Halloween movies, and now there's for some reason a trend on Twitter right now where they're like, Man, you guys owe Rob Zombie an apology. No, I don't. Just because a new movie comes out and it's not good in a lot of people's eyes doesn't mean you go back on another awful film and say, Oh yeah, that was actually a work of art. That was actually a masterpiece. No, that is bad. Good is good. Subjectively speaking, let's move on. Here's my stance on movie franchises. They typically peak at one. Maybe you get a second film that's good in the mix. Usually by the third or fourth, it's a complete dumpster fire. There are exceptions. I think the Mission Impossible movies continue to be awesome. James Bond goes up and down, but for the most part, you're milking something that was never meant to be milked. Like a cat and meet the parents. With Halloween, that seems to be the case. The first movie's gold. It's the gold standard. Halloween 2, I thought was pretty awful. Then they go a different direction and then there's like 45 more of them. With Halloween 2018, I thought it brought things back to basics. There seemed to be Karen Kraft put into it. Visually speaking, it's a beautiful looking movie. Good shadow. Good lighting. Acting was fine. Some of the dialogue was stilted. But for the most part, Halloween worked. Halloween 2, that is. The title doesn't work. It's a sequel to Halloween. Anyway, Halloween kills comes out. It's like a slasher porn. I mean, it's very stupid. The dialogue's awful. The character acting is really bad. But it's like intentionally over the top, I guess? Weird contrast from the previous film, though, where things did seem to be a little bit more grounded, a little bit more plausible. Now things are out the window. Michael Myers is a tank. He's like a street brawler. There's a 1v10 fight or however many people he kills there. I don't even recall. It's a lot. I still enjoyed that. Because I checked my expectations at the door a long time ago when it comes to franchise films. I want to be entertained. I want to get some scares. I want some thrills. And I want promises kept. Halloween kills absolutely does the things it says it's going to do. There's lots of killing on Halloween. Lori Strode, however, sidelines. She's in a hospital most of the film, so that was a disappointment. But there was a tease of more. Of more promising confrontation in Halloween ends. Now that we're here, I scratch my head at a lot of the decisions in the script. Because Halloween ends feels like two movies crammed into one. Lori Strode's Stuff, which comes and goes for the most part it's left to the end. And then a new character that's introduced gets a big amount of screen time. And I don't know what was going on in the writer's room if they just didn't have enough material for three movies to make a trilogy or quad...quadrology or whatever. They probably should have stopped and asked themselves what they're doing. As it stands, Halloween ends to me was a fine watch. It goes in a lot of ways that I didn't expect it to. It kept me interested. It kept me scratching my head. It kept me wondering, why is this a movie that exists and what happened? I mean, it's a disaster. Don't get me wrong. It's a glorious disaster. But I still was kind of on board with it. Not a lot adds up. They go in directions you don't expect them to. And they don't really pay off a lot of those ideas, a lot of those concepts. But the other alternative is to make yet another movie where Michael Myers goes around killing people for two hours. Another thing, this movie's too long. I like a nice hour and a half film. Especially when you decide to do an entirely different storyline because you're out of material. Cut the shit down. It's a horror film. It's a slasher. It's supposed to give you scares. Comedy should never overstay their welcome either. I think there's a couple unwritten laws when it comes to this type of stuff. Keep it short and simple and sweet. As we know, Jamie Lee Curtis is back reprising her role as Laurie Strode for the 700th time. They'll keep her in this franchise until there's nothing left for Jamie Lee Curtis to give. Even if she doesn't survive this film, which I'm not going to tell you, they could find a way to bring her back. They'll use some sort of a resurrection stone. Or maybe she does survive and she just goes on in a wheelchair fighting Michael until the ends of time. I mean, I'd probably still pay to see it because Jamie Lee Curtis is awesome. She really is and she's put it in the work here with the limited screen time she has. She's still fantastic. Her daughter, not so much. Not so much for Allison. Actress is lovely. Her dialogue's really bad. Her character motivations are all over the place. It just doesn't translate well from script to screen. I'm going to do a spoiler video on Halloween Ends in a few days, so make sure to subscribe, because yeah, we're going to have some fun with that one for sure. As it stands here, though, it looks good. Sounds great. I actually had a buddy that went with me. He had a big chip on his shoulder going into this film. You can look him up on Spotify. His name is Sutter Kane. He also goes by DJ Bless. But Bless was very concerned going into this. He actually scored three songs for this film and they ended up only using one of them, which was a bummer for him, obviously. He got paid for all three. But still, when you put in the time, you want to see your work unfold. Anyway, he turned and told me when his song came up and I thought it was freaking awesome. Like, dude, that's so cool that you did this from your home and you sent it off to a big time studio and you get to hear it on the screen. That's just really awesome. Anyway, he was a little mad going in. He ended up thinking it was like fine, too. He's like, I don't know. It was kind of good. I dug it. I like that they tried new things and kind of fell in their face with it, but they still at least attempted something here. And it does close nicely, I thought. I thought the ending was solid. Okay, you do get the ends. It just didn't need to be a full on two hours. This Halloween movie definitely comes to an end, but it's kind of like the Hobbit movies. Dude, we really need three movies to get this accomplished. I also like them, so take that with a grain of salt. Three of us went to this movie. We all left thinking it was fine. We had a lot of problems with it. We laughed at some of the stupid character choices and dialogue. It was still a fun time. Again, nowhere near the quality of the original Halloween, the lack of the theme song there for most of the film was a little bit unsettling as well. I wish it would have been there more. As for scares go, not much, but I don't find these movies scary to begin with. There is some great violence. There's some creative kills again. Not as much as Halloween kills, but when they show up, they're pretty solid. When we left the theater, there was three gentlemen outside talking. One guy absolutely hated it. The other one dug it, and the third was kind of in the middle. So it is obviously a very polarizing movie. It does pull the rug out on people, which is really stupid. I don't like when they market things one way and do something completely different. It's also a trilogy, so to start like a brand new chapter during this film was just head-scratchingly odd. I'm not going to go any further than that. Like I said, it's already on peak. Check it out on the cock if you want, or go see it in the theaters. Get that full big-screen experience with the terrible people all around you. Let me know in the comments what you thought. Like the video if you had a good time. Subscribe again for more content like this. I post movie and TV show-related videos every single week. We'd love to have you stick around. Take care. You might be disappointed to find out no-one-chance-evil-dies-tonight. It's not set. It just doesn't happen in the movie. It's a shame. It's a shame. It would also be a shame if you didn't head over to my Patreon at patreon.com. Adam does movies and support the channel. I'm a one-man operation. I do this as a hobby. Makes a few bucks on the side, but not much. YouTube's pretty miserable when it comes to payout. So Patreon's set up so you can support the channel, say, hey, Adam, you're worth a dollar a month. Here you go. You're worth 10 bucks a month. There's lots of perks over there. You get access to 300 exclusive videos. They're solid. I'm also on a Discord at Adam Does Movies. You can find me on TikTok. And I'm even on Twitch streaming games once in a while. So lots of places to help out. I'd appreciate it.