 Good evening church That was pretty poor. Good evening church Grace and peace to you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I am so grateful for the invitation from Bishop McKee and First Lady Smith to be with you this evening. I Don't know what that's all about, but maybe we'll find out at some point But it is a joy to be with you in North Texas I must say that this is such a beautiful venue But really the beauty is to see your faces and I hope that you acknowledge that too during your time here in this annual Conference every time I go through a memorial service. I I don't know a lot of the names But I gather that some of those names might indeed have been here last year that are not here now and One of the things I like to say all the time is that every day is a gift Every day is a precious gift and One of those precious gifts is being able to look at one another's faces when you gather in an annual conference setting And so I pray that during your time here in this session that you will Greet each other with a holy kiss and that you will gaze upon one another with gratitude and thanksgiving for the way In which Christ has it worked through each of you to be the body of Christ here in North Texas And I pray God's richest blessings upon you as you gather. I bring you greetings from the New York annual conference the The 430 churches and the 427 pastors and the nearly hundred thousand people that make up the New York annual conference There are a wonderful group of people very diverse group in their approach and style and culture And it's a privilege to serve them and I do bring you greetings from them Just about every Sunday in New York I have a chance to preach in one of my churches and when I'm there I normally say a standard line that I'll say with you tonight and that line is this I give God Thanks for and I fill in the blank Tonight I say I give God thanks For Mike and Joan McKee I give God thanks for a call to ministry that's resulted in faithful service all these years I give God thanks for the wonderful sacrificial way in which they give of themselves not only the places like you but all across the connection of the church I give God thanks for a new friendship that's emerged over these years that I absolutely cherish I give God thanks for a wonderful sense of humor and for a keen insight on how we are to live as the body of Christ And I think it would be all together appropriate tonight if you this annual conference would express your thanks To Mike and Joan McKee for their faithful service in your midst. Would you thank Would you join me in prayer Loving God, we do give you thanks for this day. What a beautiful day to be in the midst of your creation We thank you so very much for your claim and call in our lives, which we feel so significantly We know God that we are not alone, but that you stand with us in these days And we pray that as we continue our work as a church that you might continue to guide us on this pathway We pray God for your grace to be patient with us and we pray for the inspiration of your Holy Spirit to guide us with boldness and conviction We pray of God that we might be willing servants of yours in the way in which you call us to serve I ask your special blessings upon this annual conference session and Pray for each pastor who's serving a church For each person being commissioned and ordained For every lay person who faithfully serves in the ministry of the church to which they're affiliated Pray your blessings upon each pew in every church each community and Village and town and pray of God That your spirit might be felt in significant ways God we thank you for your word that speaks to us and we pray that as we talk about it for a while this evening And it might come alive for us And in these moments God I would pray a personal prayer that either through me or in spite of me You might speak to your church tonight. I Pray this in the name of Christ our Lord You know, it's always been interesting to me how we tend to glamorize history Looking back we tend to lessen the significance and the struggle that existed at certain points in our history a Couple months ago. I was talking to a couple pastors of mine in New York when one of them said I wish I had been a pastor in the 50s and 60s when it was easier to be a part of the church really Well, let's let's take a look at that one In the 50s, we were not at the point of ordaining women yet in the church And in the 60s we were in the heat of the civil rights movement that was attempting to gain Courage in the midst of violence discrimination and terrible acts of racism Politically in the 50s. We were in the middle of a thing called McCarthyism It was a campaign against a legend Communist in the United States government that bred skepticism fear and uncertainty in the most trusted and well-established governmental system in the world that sound familiar and I haven't said a thing about Vietnam an Undeclared war that left a trail of death and anti-political outburst that lasted for nearly 20 years Yeah, boy Those were the days my friends We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever in a day We'd live the life we'd choose we fight never lose For we were young and sure to have our way. Yeah, the good old 50s and 60s Let's all go back and soak up all that peace and solitude and lack of controversy that made up those days We tend to glamorize history It's like a few years ago when I saw the movie Saving Private Ryan We came out of the theater and found ourselves walking down the street with an elderly couple who were very shaken by the movie and When I inquired as to what they were feeling this elderly man said I fought in a war That movie captured more of the reality of the gruesomeness of war than any film I've ever seen He said the only thing that it didn't reveal was the ugly smell of war It brought back so many memories of things. I wish I had never experienced and I never want to experience again Now I want to tell you that's a far cry from Lee Marvin and Ernest Borg nine running around neatly pressed uniforms in the dirty dozen or John Wayne giving some fancy speech in the longest day we tend to glamorize history Now that's what's so amazing about this first chapter of the book of Philippians Paul wrote this thing from prison And not just a prison. It was a first century prison This was not a glamorous place to spend your time most people around Paul were facing execution and Because of the convoluted governmental system prisoners could have been there for years awaiting for a final outcome There were not three meals a day and there was not a government issued Uniform for the prisoners to wear the conditions were dark because there was no natural light The the surroundings were neglected and there was this unbearable smell It was a place of humiliation and great pain Hygiene it was non-existent Chains they were heavy and burdensome food it was scant and unhealthy and Fear was a constant drain on everyone's mental attitude And it was in that environment that very Environment that the Apostle Paul wrote these words. I thank my God every time I think of you. I I always pray with joy because of your partnership from the first day until now This is my prayer he wrote That your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight So that you might be able to discern what is best and may be blameless for the day of Christ What has actually happened to me Has served to advance the gospel Talking about his imprisonment. He says what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way Christ is preached For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain Whatever happens Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy for the gospel of Christ. Come on Really From a from a first century prison cell I would be lucky to have a tin can rattled up against the bars singing woe is me woe is me Nobody knows the trouble I've seen what a testimony from a prison cell Take away the temptation of glamour and these words get a really powerful edge to them And it makes me wonder How can someone conjure up that kind of faith? That degree of courage and that level of inspiration when the circumstances seems so grim and discouraging It's absolutely amazing to me when I look seriously at those words and I erase the temptation for glamour These are serious words of faith that are spoken in serious conditions of deep concern I don't know about you But I've been struggling to find the right words to say these days And I can't help but shake my head in disbelief Every single week when I turn on the news and I hear of another Massacre in some public setting and I can't find the words when I turn on the television and I hear the constant Uncertainty that's emerging from our governmental leaders And I left the special session of the general conference in st. Louis a few months ago feeling pretty low I Witnessed what I considered the church at its worst And that had nothing to do with the decisions that were that were or were not made. It was just mean Painful and empty And I'd love to say that I serve a church That has a greater impact on the culture than the culture has on the church, but it's not the case It seems like we're taking our lead from the culture around us in the way that we've decided to treat one another and behave And as a result I found it pretty challenging to once again find my sea legs in my voice In the position that I hold it's tough But I know it's tough for you too I can't imagine what it's like to stand in a pulpit every Sunday in the same congregation and preach pastors And I can't imagine laity what it's like to try to Spread a Christian witness In a secular place I don't know about you But with a cloud of uncertainty hanging over my head. I don't find it easy To have a lot of joy And the right words They seem to be much more difficult to find I know I know I get it The situation facing the world and the situation facing our church in 2019 doesn't compare with being in a first century prison cell And it doesn't compare with being on a battlefield of war Or it's nothing compared to the violence and humiliation that many of you suffer from racism and gender bias and homophobia still It's okay to applaud. That's fine Still everything is contextual And every feeling is real And every time that we hurt While it may not compare with other situations The emptiness is still very real And as a result of what has and is happening to us, I'm struggling to find out Where it is that I stand Like many of you I grew up in this church Jim and Bart Marlene bickerton took their son tom the church when he was four days old and I have been in this church every day since The only job that I've ever held that was not in a united methodist church Was I stocked shells in a food land grocery store for two months between my freshman and sophomore year college Everything I've ever done has been related To the united methodist church And life for me for many years as a boy a youth a young adult a layperson and as a pastor I had days that were filled with eager joyful anticipation of what to expect when I went to church I have these memories of full pews and lots of children and churches that were focused on vision and building campaigns and All sorts of relevant programs Church was something to look forward to And even though I didn't always want to be there My church was a refuge from the storm But now in many places It is the storm Issues dominate the landscape And there's plenty of conversation about what will happen next will we survive and how in the world are we going to make it through I used to be able to stand on the solid ground that I could count on my church And it would be there But I can't stand there anymore I remember a day when the church was one of those places in the community where it was described as a place of security safety and respect It was a place where confession was made And a place where forgiveness was freely offered Pastors were held in high esteem Authority was respected Leadership was trusted and when you turned on the lights and opened the door someone Unexpected would come because of the reputation and the word on the street about this blessed thing called the church I remember when I in the last church that I served we had one whole wall was a stained glass window and there was a door And right in the middle of my sermon The door opened and this straggly transient came and sat on the front pew He listened dutifully to my sermon And when we shared joys and concerns afterwards he stood up and said I saw the lights on in this fine church I'm on the way from st. Louis to pittsburgh and I just thought I'd come in and see what was going on here And I'm looking to find my way I gave the benediction later in that service went to the back of the church to greet everyone and no one Come back to greet me because they were all greeting that guy And welcoming him into the church But I'll bet That if the door of that stained glass window opened today and the straggly fellow came in someone would think does he have a gun? Is he gonna hurt us can't stand there anymore. It didn't take a seminary education for me to learn Wesleyan theology I was raised on it And my parents were simple blue collar workers We learned from an early age what it meant to be filled with God's grace And we were taught about the value of personal holiness Where you actively found God through worship and bible study in small groups And we were expected somehow to convert that personal holiness into a social holiness A social gospel where you engaged with the world and you shared God's love and invited people on the journey And actually worked to accomplish the words that we use. We used to use more frequently words like invitation conversion And evangelism Church was a place of joy because of what Jesus had done for us And what we could do to make our lives a reflection of christ in all that we did But have you been on facebook or twitter lately? Or have you googled the united methodist church? Something happened to our theology Grace has been replaced with judgment Respect has been replaced with my way or the highway Honoring divergent opinions has been replaced with finger pointing and accusations And this wonderful Wesleyan theology of grace Hope joy loving kindness doing no harm and doing good seems to be harder and harder to embrace I used to stand on that ground with a lot of assurance That I would see it at work within the people who use the name christian But I just can't stand there anymore With that same assurance I beamed when I was elected to general conference for the first time in 1976 as a young person And you know the crazy nutty thing about it? I've been to every one of them since I was elected as a youth a young adult a layperson a pastor and as a district superintendent And now I'm a potted plant I am the product of a general conference I grew up there and I learned so much about church polity and structure in that setting I sat and listened in awe to the giants The ones who's got the floor and spoke And the manner in which they would not only craft a speech but create a proposal I saw and participated in these wonderful initiatives And I couldn't wait to get home to tell everyone about what happened and where we were going to put our emphasis for the next season love general conference But I can't stand there anymore. It's so mean So viral So divisive So backbiting I gave my heart and my soul that we could be a global church I gave so much of myself to it in some circles of the church. I was called Mr. Malaria I'd go to Africa and get off a van and they'd say oh here's Mr. Malaria That's not a term of endearment. I want to tell you But it was what I got I worked to raise millions of dollars to alleviate malaria And hunger and disease I deeply value the partnerships that were established and the ability to take teams to foreign lands to offer word for word of encouragement and hands of expertise, but now I truly wonder whether or not we can remain a global church Do you know that umcor giving is down 51% over this time last year? The cultural divide is huge And the line in the sand has very quickly turned into a canyon of differences Accentuated by colonialism and an unwillingness to appreciate cultural contexts I used to stand so confidently on that ground I used to stand so confidently on that ground, but I can't stand there anymore Oh the list could go on and on Don't you feel like we're in prison? Chained up and hampered by the conditions of the world and the climate of the church Don't you feel like you're in prison? It looks bad It feels bad And it smells even worse And it makes me appreciate the apostle paul even more In the midst of his own contextual grief And fear this man had this amazing gift of being able to proclaim in the midst of adversity and at an uncertainty this wonderful message A joyful belief if you will that god had claimed him and called him and would not let him go And was using him to make a to be a difference maker in the world I truly believe that no matter where the apostle paul went he was never very far from the Damascus road It was there that god called sol and converted him to paul It was there that his life was shaped and transformed from persecutor into proclamer And I think he never lost sight of what god had done for him And it seems to me that in the midst of our reliance upon human systems that are failing us at every turn of the switch We need a similar kind of spiritual revival in this church of ours. It's time for another Damascus road You know, my dad is kind of that way Four years ago this ageless wonder of a man called my father fell And broke three vertebrae in his neck He can barely use his hands now He was a mold maker in a glass factory and he used these hands to craft these beautiful molds That resulted in beautiful pieces of glass where and now he can't even use his hands And his body is fading in its ability But my dad at 83 says quote Every so often I throw myself a pity party, but then I catch myself And I thank god every day for the life I have And the wonderful life I've been given How does a man say that? When his body is falling apart How does a person confine confined to a prison cell proclaim Whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence I will know that you stand firm in the one spirit Striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you How do you do that? When you have invested all of your time and energy and relied On something that seems to be disappearing right in front of you How do you do it? We cannot stand on the solid ground of the history of this denomination anymore. It's too shaky And we cannot stand anymore on the assurance That our churches are safe and secure for people to come and feel as if they're welcome And we can't stand anymore with the assurance of standing on the ground That christian people are actually going to behave as christians when they engage one another And and we can't stand anymore On the solid ground of a structure and a polity that served us so well for all these years But now seems so shaky and uncertain We can't stand anymore when the things that we've relied on All these years the still of the night I cry out to my god. Where do I stand? Where do I stand? Where do I stand? Standing on the promises Of christ my king Through eternal ages let his praises ring Glory and the highest I will shout and sing Standing on the promises of god Standing on the promises I cannot fail When the howling storms of doubt and grief assail by the living word of god, I shall prevail Standing on the promises of god Standing on the promises I shall not fall Listening every moment to the spirits call resting in my savior as my all in all Standing on the promises of standing on the promises of god my savior Standing Sounds like an awesome may it be so By god's grace