 Love you It's been a rough couple weeks for us guys couple You think so now one one week it feels like eternity because we usually always get along But we've been we've been off-sync the last couple days, and I don't like it Hi lovers part in the interruption if you subscribe to the exam in life You've probably already seen that video if you haven't go to this timecode right now So you can fast-forward this part of me talking and interrupting that video So you can watch that video maybe come back and watch this part afterwards But I know you click the video because you want to watch that so the reason why I'm Reposting that video here is because I think it's a really great conversation. I think oftentimes on social media We do show the positives of relationships or times are really getting along I think that video was really interesting because it was during a time and we just really weren't in sync So in essence you guys have probably watched by now my apartment tour So we've lived in our apartment now for two and a half months and we shot that video two and a half months ago We had first moved in and things were like kind of in a tricky space at the time. So this This is kind of a throwback to that and I really want to speak about My other second YouTube channel because I've never talked about adpocalypse here on my main channel before and adpocalypse All right, we do the backgrounder Adpocalypse is this thing that happened in which a lot of videos that don't have advertiser friendly content got demonetized You guys may have noticed that my videos no longer run ads on them And some videos only six percent of the views are monetized and for somebody who doesn't make a lot of views on YouTube That's a very significant Decrease and so I just wasn't able to manage two channels and it didn't make sense for me time-wise anymore Especially since YouTube was returning so little to me But at the end of the day YouTube has never been a place for financial dependency for me It's always been a place to spread my message and then to gain an audience and to have a great Conversation and then take that audience in conversation to other platforms Which are able to compensate me more fairly like the full-screen show which I've talked about at nausea And now I want to talk about my anchor dot FM podcast. So every single day It's like snapchat for podcasting. I in essence do a little podcast I talk about my day. I share some personal revelations and then most importantly I answer a question of yours Every single day and so if you guys have not subscribed to anchor FM slash Shan booty That is a great place to go to support my content. Yes being here is very important And I value your time so so much But there are other platforms in which I am able to sustain a lifestyle And I am able to continue to make YouTube videos So it greatly helps me especially in light of adpocalypse if you do go over there as well I think like when we're in this heightened time of emotions like we can't we don't have that filter It's kind of clogged up right now with filtering all of life And so then when Jared comes into Shannon's world and he says something that Doesn't come across right you don't have that filter that that could clean it out And you can see what I'm trying to say and I have the same thing where right now. It's it's been hard to filter You know what Shannon is saying and filter it through like what you're trying to say As explained to someone in their day that a massive difference between this relationship in my last one is The trust and intent. I honestly felt like a lot. I literally after my relationship was done I was like yo, I've never felt more equipped in my life to answer the what is your weakness question a lot of the times I felt myself saying out loud like I'm not a bad person whereas in with you There's just this like beautiful river of trust and understanding The filter that I've chosen with you is good It's like you're a good person your your intentions are you and when I look in the face I can see that you love me. You know what I mean? As far as like other people in other relationships that I've been in I could look in the face and I could see that they don't Love and I think that's the problem is like most people they go through life worrying about what they said and it's 90 I mean if you know humans, you know that 90% of the time that they say something they need something else and so You might say You know Why did you put that over there and in my mind? I'm like Why are you coming at me? You know what I mean? But then I go think about it. Okay. Wait. Let's think about this logically. No she just wants to move it and Jared language would say hey, why don't you actually put that over here instead of saying why did you put that there? You know what I mean? But you know, that's where we speak different languages and usually I can filter that but with everything going on and Life and everything and sometimes that filter gets dirty and it comes in and I hear Jared your piece of shit. Why'd you put that there? You're stupid for thinking that and that's when the argument starts instead of being like No, actually, she just wants to put it in different place So let me just put it in place because in reality I really don't have any emotional attachment to putting that you know me so that's where that's where I feel Communication comes into play It makes perfect sense We naturally Jared and I have gone through time like this before we're like yo shit is just off and the littlest things trigger us but I feel like Embracing those times where things are off and expecting them to be off in a way like oh, this is the new way it's kind of off right now and Knowing that like we just had a small fight two minutes ago You know before we started recording this but that we're gonna have to brush that off and like put it You know chalk it up to okay right now It's just not a time of being in sync and if we do that then we don't allow the little things are tripping us up to become A bigger issue in our relationship or to last longer than the current stress is lasting because once we're fully settled in the apartment Once we're putting out more content and we're in a flow again. We're in a flow. Yeah What it's called to me, you know it is called to you and it's like you know I don't mean to cut you off. No, that's perfect No, but I know I know what it's called of me and there's no if ands or buts And I think like I just want to work on in my character is reacting slow Because I find that when I react slow I can Better decipher what's going on if I react fast. It's usually the wrong reaction Something that you said to me this morning that like really stuck with me as you said You don't have to Put space between you and me for me to feel something from you I can paraphrase in there, but in essence it was like if something is bothering me I don't have to be visibly Put distance between us so that you can figure it out Yeah, it's like I can communicate that to you or even just communicate in that like hey I need space right now versus just like that silent uneasiness. That's when we fill in the gaps with our own Thoughts and our thoughts usually end up being worst-case scenario. Yeah, and I don't want that I don't want to create a relationship. That's based on insecurity or manipulation of insecurity You know, I mean if making you feel jealous to get a rise of you or making you feel sad or isolated or Vulnerable like that's just not the atmosphere that I think either one of us will grow in But it is a habit of mine when I'm upset because of the fact that I know I have a quick mouth To like close up and say nothing distance. Yeah, and to like be in my head and think and I think you interpret that a lot of times It's like I'm putting space, but it's more like I'm protecting you Again saying something that I don't quite understand myself yet Yeah, no, I hear you that just makes me feel Not safe and not like secure or not like filled up So what ends up happening is I end up making the situation worse because I am a man at the end of The day and what men do when they feel emotion is they close up and they push to what are you like and I'll answer this question to two things that you want me to learn from this time that I am Still growing and I'm still learning. I'm trying to You know learn I'm trying to learn like and get rid of the character flaws that I have from The way I grew up or the way that I learned as a kid. So, you know As long as like I guess for me is that I just want To be able to have this space um To make mistakes Without it assassinating your view on me I want you to know that In difficult times Remember the thing that I was initially attracted to you about was like your confidence At the first time that I saw you it was like it was at your event But the way that you were moving the way that you were like addressing people like that side of you is important and Even throughout the stress I need you to remember that that If anything being in your head about it or being timid is going to make things worse And that's also knowing my personality too I think also keep in mind that I I'm not as nice as you And that's something that I'm working on. I think I'm getting better through you And I'm definitely becoming more empathetic more patient more open more loving But it's not this doesn't come as natural for me to be like that And so sometimes especially in stressful situations I revert back to more being like my dad, which is like making snap decisions and You know assessing making a decision and moving on versus, you know, considering your feelings Yeah, well, I want you to know too like Being nice has been learned and I don't want to get I don't want it to be abused But it's been learned. It's been something that I worked hard for So it's like I am nice. I am But I I worked really hard for it. So like I have mean thoughts too You know, I have I have a mean side too, but I Self-control that and so You know, I don't I don't ever look at you as Somebody that can't control it So when you do get mean it lights me up It lights me up But I mean it it's like I said earlier It's it's always I give I want you to have this space to to look to get nice too and like to you are a nice person You are but you know, I want you to have a space like that. It's It's learned. It's not not everyone. I don't think anybody in the world is naturally nice Mm-hmm. Last closing thought Do you think the open side of our relationship Has made this time worse? No, I think that it's made it's made this time. I mean, obviously you pulled the card in a really weird time You know, I didn't pick that. Huh? You didn't pick it. I know but I'm I'm saying that it's like it's a time Where it's obviously going to be harder than most Because we're not in sync So it does make me feel uneasy, but it doesn't make it didn't make this time worse I think that's what really was about at the end of it all it's like the base of you and me Being on the same page and being out of eye and then everything else above and below and around Doesn't have to matter the circumstances don't matter. It's like This that matters the most I just I'm so grateful for you and I love you and I think the times like these like the contrast of things strengthen that And getting to see different sides of you and you know watching you grow and at the end of the day, this is really your expertise that in these times like your emotional maturity your understanding and your Objectivity is what makes you incredible at this and I learned so much from you And so sometimes going through conflicts I get to see that part of you in action that like I'm so seduced by and I'm not saying I'm causing problems on purpose to like But nonetheless, it's like it's taking the balance of things and knowing that you're going to go through rough times of people It's going to be uh rocky I think at the base of it all what I would encourage people to say is if you're in relationships that are going through Rough times you have to really assess what's happening underneath And if what's happening underneath is not good, you're not going to be able to fix what's happening on top This is all on top stuff. It's all surface layer Circumstantial, you know evidentially because we're in this situation because we're moving because we just got back because because because But at the under the surface, there is like love mutuality respect. There's insight and I love you I