 Why Narcissists Always Look Like They're Winning Narcissists often look like they're gaining or resulting in a victory. They may appear as attractive and endearing, engaging, charming and appealing. They may look like they're going somewhere and it may look like they've won, which may seem contradictory. Because of course the whole point of them being narcissists is that they can't be successful over a long period of time. They can't produce anything good. They can't be productive because they have this disorder that prevents them from doing that. It results in a lack of order and regular arrangement and it's meant to cause them difficulty, distress, impairment and suffering in their daily lives. But it won't always appear that way because many of them have enablers. They have people who support the illusion, people who make their success possible. But they also encourage and enable the narcissist's negative and self-destructive behaviour and these people may not always be narcissists. But they do have their own issues. They're insecure and they have low self-esteem, which brings them together with the narcissist. And it may look like a perfect match because they have this desire to make the narcissist happy. They have this desire to validate them but the narcissist also has to keep them under their influence and control and they do that by using other enablers, other people who support the illusion because these types of enablers keep other enablers under control. They keep them in order and in check. They keep them conforming with rules with a set of understood regulations or principles governing their conduct and procedure, which works perfectly for the narcissist for the individual who is self-absorbed and lacks empathy and just wants all of the attention and praise for themselves because then they can get that for themselves with minimal time and effort while everyone else has to deal with all of the problems, which is the clever part about the illusion because it makes the narcissist look great while making everyone else look bad because everyone else is trying to harm your reputation they're trying to insult or discredit you. They're keeping things in a state of complete confusion and disorder while everyone's left to assume that the only good person left is the narcissist, the person who isn't actively engaged in or opposed to the dysfunctional behavior because the way that they control people is by generating fake problems to create conflicts so that the real problems are never identified and then they can never be solved because they don't want it to come out if it did it would threaten their position it would threaten their comfort, health and happiness Some enablers may have an inability or a refusal to accept that it is in fact the narcissist who is abusive while other enablers may catch on and realize that something is wrong that's why they have to have something to keep them in check and under control and to do this they get them to fight against each other because that then reduces and prevents what would otherwise be bad or undesirable for them by giving the enablers an involvement in the illusion so that they will defend it at all costs without realizing that the narcissist is just sitting back and watching everything play out in a very skilled form of manipulation because they're defending the illusion without even realizing that it exists and there are people who create the illusion who aren't even bothered about it they don't even care while it's destroying everyone and it's even destroying the narcissist but narcissists thrive in dysfunction they're quite comfortable with it they like their disorder they like how it works they like how it gets them the things that they need but it's very inconvenient for the enablers because it makes it difficult for them to get along with other people so now they can't get anything done as long as the illusion is present because the illusion requires them to be incompetent it requires everything to be mismanaged and at the same time they can't even acknowledge it but then they have to defend it at the same time because they're terrified that everything will fall apart but really they're just afraid of what the narcissist will do if the illusion is threatened so they have no choice but to support it because the last thing they want is for the illusion to be shown for what it actually is if that were to happen they would suddenly lose control and become very angry because deep down they already know that it isn't real they already know that they're defending something that doesn't even exist but they want to keep it going because it benefits them to do so so they will resort to some crazy foolish tactics to keep the illusion going but it's only because they're scared it's the narcissist who is generating this confusion and disorder by maintaining their own deceptive outward appearance and they're using the enablers to do their bidding while fooling them which turns into a cult, a system of belief well at the same time they're not even thinking of it like that but to maintain the illusion it does require a lot of work it requires a lot of physical and mental effort in order to achieve their purpose and result because there are a lot of tasks to be undertaken so they're constantly engaged in physical and mental activity so this machine and system will function properly and effectively so that it will perform the way that they want it to and produce the desired effect but it's actually purposeless and unnecessary because it's not desirable or optimistic it doesn't do any good it's pessimistic, defeatist, gloomy and bleak it renders anything positive or productive ineffective it just makes things worse it intensifies people's negative aspects it brings out the worst in people it amplifies everything that's bad about them instead of promoting their good qualities until everything blows up because in the game the illusion falls apart they end up causing serious harm to themselves and that is inescapable it's an inevitable result because it is just an illusion it may look sophisticated but it actually looks a lot greater than what it actually is it tricks you for a while it makes you think that everything is in order but once you start to get good at noticing the details and making judgments about it at that point the battle is lost for them because they can't adapt everything for use in a different purpose than what was originally intended they can try to avoid directing any of your attention towards it they can try to fool you by giving you little twists and turns but at the end of the day there's only one way it can go they're still going to be narcissists and they're going to keep acting like narcissists and there's nothing they can do about it so they've already lost even if they haven't realized it thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at payble.me.narcsurviver you can book a one on one with me on my website it's narcsurviver.co.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon