 Hi guys, what's up? It's Kinsey and welcome back to my channel. If you guys are new here, subscribe. I make a lot of lifestyle vlogs, lots of cooking, fitness, health, wellness, bookrex, style, friends, aka Dom. Basically everything you could ever need ish on this channel. So subscribe if you guys have not already. Today's video is going to be me answering questions on living alone. A little background of myself. I currently live in Dallas, Texas in a townhouse by myself. I also lived in LA for a few years. I had roommates there and then I also had one lease that I believe was a year and a half where I lived by myself in a one bedroom apartment, dormant and all that stuff. Okay, let's get started with the video. I really don't think I've ever done a video on this before, but I do get a lot of questions. My friend Brooke Mitchell also made one at Shields in New York City. You guys can check that out. I have never received so many questions in an ask box on Instagram, ever. Probably the number one question I got was advice on not being afraid at night. So I should be a little bit more afraid just on an everyday basis. I, for some reason, it doesn't matter like how much true crime I watch, things like that. I think I'm just, I'm more naive than anything. So I think I should be a little bit more afraid. A little background to the first time I lived alone alone, like my own apartment, no roommates. I was 18 or 19 in LA and I was about a year and a half and that was an apartment and I had like full-dormant, really high security. I paid way too much money for that apartment, but that made me feel really safe now living in a house by myself. Obviously, there's no like doorman and things like that, so I do have like really intense security systems. Honestly, for you to even get into my house pretty much honestly like next to impossible. I also have, I'll put a photo on the screen. This is like a very good life hack. I think everyone should have these regardless. I know Keaton got them after she came here. I think they're only like $10 on Amazon too. I'll link them below. But I have these sticks that go underneath the door. So on top of a security system, you wouldn't actually physically be able to open the door anyways. So if you want to do that to your main doors, even to like the door in your bedroom, whatever gives you like peace at night, I feel like that's really great. So practically speaking, I have intense security systems and then I also have those things that I put underneath the doors. I have a few main doors that lead out from my house into like the world and I put those under there every single night as well. I also have the apps. I know everything that's going on in my neighborhood. Yeah, I actually just don't ever really feel scared at night by myself. I think when I first moved into this house, I did, but that was mainly just because I didn't know the area. I didn't really know whatever. I don't know. That really wore off and I'm never really afraid now. How to keep from feeling sad once the sun goes down and isolating yourself. So again, this is totally different in pandemic times. I'm going to answer for both. I think one of the best parts of living by yourself is you can really establish your own routine and no one else can kind of like affect that mess that up, make things messy, you know, things like that. We've covered this on my channels before. I'm a very big routine sort of person. I love my morning routine and I love my night routine. I'll have my night routine video linked down below. That is my full answer to how do I keep from being sad once the sun goes down. I have a whole routine and nighttime is actually some of my favorite time in my house. Like, lying down. I like the candles. I cook for myself. I'll work out. I'll go on a walk and then I read. That's pretty much what I do. How to not feel lonely. There's a few things. One, outside of like pandemic life, when I lived alone when I was in LA and I was working for myself from home and I was doing school from home. It was very isolating, but I feel like it made me a better friend because I reached out to my friends more and I would make sure I saw like one person a day. And that would normally either be for a workout class or going to get coffee or dinner or lunch or whatever that was. I definitely placed more emphasis on seeing friends at that time. But like this past year, I FaceTime a lot. Actually, I'm pretty bad about FaceTiming. Depends on the week. I try to FaceTime a lot. I listen to podcasts often. I read all the time. Like I'm already at book like 20 of 2021. I read nonstop. I also feel like I've become a lot more introverted. I feel like I was always an extrovert before and now I'm really more than ever value my alone time even though I've had more of it than ever. So yeah, I think podcasts are great. I have a podcast if you guys want to listen to it. I love you so much with Kinsey Elizabeth. Great one. But listen to podcasts regularly. FaceTiming friends. Making plans if you're able wherever you live to go grab coffee with a friend outside or whatever that is. Even like going on walks with friends. That's really great. Yeah, I think you just have to like make an effort to engage in your relationships, whether that's in person or virtually right now. Okay, dealing with anxiety, about break-ins, being a woman alone. I kind of touched on this already. I have a security system. I'll link down below ones that I like. That's big. I also have like 24-7 security so if someone were to come in, people are on their way. I just don't focus on it. I know some of my friends like don't watch like true crime or anything anymore and they live alone because it's just too scary. I also have family that lives in like five minutes of me. And I think the biggest, biggest thing really would be my security system. I also pay monthly for that and then the stick under my door. Like that's really what keeps me feeling totally okay. How do you maintain a feeling of connection to others? FaceTime. I think FaceTiming is the biggest thing, biggest gift. While I may not be the absolute best about it, FaceTime is really helpful. I got a lot of questions on how to afford it, budgeting, budgeting out of college, things like that. I don't feel like I am the best person to give advice on it because my job is not like relatable in the sense of my salary isn't consistent. I don't think consistent's the right word but like I don't have a set salary every single year. So I don't feel like I'm the best with budgeting tips on this. Okay, daily plans. How to keep from just laying in bed all day. I feel like that is a fear too when you live by yourself because you're just by yourself in isolation and things. I've shared again my routine so many times but I have like daily things I do every day. I really have been able to get a lot more into hobbies too living by myself. I feel like that was a really good thing that came out of 2020 was, you know, I think I became a chef. I think I'm Martha Stewart as you know. That was really good, bread winning housewife vibes as we know. I also for some reason keep getting bread winning housewife questions under this. I would give a little backstory on bread winning housewife. It's a term I coined as a joke that kind of took its own thing but I was talking to someone and they were just asking like how's life right now blah blah blah and I really picked up gardening, organizing, cleaning, cooking, just like things like that and I was like I really just turned into a bread winning housewife and like that's how it came about. It's a complete joke. Daily plans, I always get some sort of movement in so whether that's working out or if I'm just taking the dogs on a walk whatever that is. Oh that's another thing I'll talk about having an animal that's really helpful. I love cooking. That makes me feel a lot better. I love reading. I just have certain things that I do every single day. I think a lot of it comes to like self-discipline as well. I'm a pretty self-discipline person but it just depends and also like you don't have to do what I do. Just find what works for you and what makes you feel the best. Do's and don'ts. Okay so as far as apartments go, I would actually really recommend if you can, if you're young and you plan on moving around a little bit, moving to a pre-furnished place. Molly and I when we first moved out to LA, our parents, I think both of our parents told us that and we were like no we want it to look so cute and be in the back of our videos and blah blah blah and we ultimately ended up just wasting a lot of money on furniture when we weren't gonna like have that long term. I would say do invest in a couch. I'm actually, I actually did invest in a couch and then I realized that it's not exactly what I want and it was, I got a good deal on it too so I wouldn't even say I invested, invested. I can do a whole video on my best and worst purchases of my house. Definitely get a security system. Definitely give yourself some sort of structure throughout the day. Definitely reach out to more friends. Don't isolate yourself and then don't live somewhere above your means. What do you do with things? I had the idea of being alone. How do you keep yourself occupied? So I have definitely felt this before where I get a little stroke crazy and restless I think specifically when I was in LA I felt this way and then I saw my friends who were roommates hanging out and doing things all the time and I was like wait a second like I'm kind of going crazy. Again I cannot stress this enough having your own hobbies and doing things on your own especially when you're like in relationships or certain friendships whatever that is like don't let your life kind of be consumed by them. I think when you live alone specifically it's really important to be able to just hang out with yourself and entertain yourself. Things for me, I read, I love reading, I love working out, I love cooking. We talked about that. Those are like my top three hobbies and things I like to do to keep myself occupied. There is a certain anxiety of feeling very restless and kind of isolated and I would just again recommend hobbies. I know that maybe sounds kind of dumb and a little bit obvious but that is what helps me. How do you not spiral? That's another one. I think I would just spiral with certain loneliness, anxiety if that makes any sense and again I would just go to the three hobbies that I love to do or FaceTime a friend, Call a friend. You'd be shocked what a good FaceTime call could do. Should I get a dog? Okay so I have two dogs. I got Coco when I was 18. Shielded me in LA, moved back here and then I got Fitz last summer. Like the smallest and biggest dog in the world guys, it's Wild. I am someone who grew up with dogs so taking care of a dog on a daily basis, not that when I was a kid I was the one taking care of my dog but I feel like every one of my family is a really big dog. We have so many dogs within all of my family. So getting a dog in that extra responsibility of it didn't seem overwhelming to me but I will say it's a lot of work but it didn't feel that way because that's just that was the norm in my family. I wouldn't say to just get a dog for this reason but if you are someone who lives alone and is considering it, I will give you the pros and the cons. Cons being if you travel you would need to be able to figure out what to do with your dog during that point. I live within five minutes of family. I have people that can take care of my dogs or I'm able to pay for a dog center. That's a big thing. Two, even just day to day how long you're at work, things like that I think keep that in mind. Keep in mind how much time you can spend with them. Having a dog is a huge, huge, huge responsibility but since I work from home and I did most of my college schooling from home, it made it a lot easier for me to take care of them. Also, the financial responsibility is a big one. Getting a big dog too fits is so much more expensive to take care of than cocoa. Even today they're currently getting a bath and their difference within prices is totally different. So I think just knowing that it's a huge responsibility of both time and money and if you're fully willing and committed to that I would definitely recommend getting a dog when you live alone. It's really great. It gives you an added sense of responsibility. Since you don't have someone around you that's going to be like, oh, are you awake or not? It's really good for someone who struggles with like mental health issues as far as like you literally have to get up in the morning. I know that might sound a little bit weird to some people watching this video but that's something I talk about with my, a lot of my friends actually online and though like the best part is that it gives me like responsibility in the morning. It gets you out of the house multiple times a day. It gives you joy. I think animals are so incredible. Very therapeutic as well. So I wouldn't get one selfishly but if you feel like you can fully commit I would definitely recommend it especially when you live alone because it doesn't feel like you're by yourself all the time. I think if I lived by myself without my two dogs genuinely I really do think it would be a totally different experience for me and so I love my dogs. So if you're in a place where getting a dog makes sense for you definitely recommend. Okay, tips on not freaking out over every little noise I hear. I don't feel like this stuff freaks me out until after like living in a house for a few weeks because obviously when you first move into a house you have to get used to the noises that your house makes. After a while it doesn't really freak me out anymore. I'm not someone who gets very scared easily either which I probably should get a little bit more scared. Again, security system. I'm so sorry I'm moving the same way I do for every single thing. We're doing your design inspo. I feel like I'm currently redoing my house right now. A lot of it's Instagram, a lot of it's Pinterest. I can go with a little bit more of like a traditional vibe with how I'm redoing a lot of this stuff. So it really just depends honestly. Sometimes I'll look at like CB2 as well online and then find similar pieces cheaper. I like looking online at furniture sites that I really like. CB2 being like always my fave. Do you ever get in a rut of not going out or having any human interaction? Definitely. This is definitely a struggle that happens when you live alone. Even with this honestly if I know I don't have like a workout class in the morning scheduled or I don't have like coffee to see with friends I don't go to workout classes right now anyways. Even just going to get coffee by yourself in the morning and like you have some sort of social interaction of being around people even if it's not your friend. That has really helped me living alone. Even just going through a drive there. Like going somewhere where I see someone helps me. This is not something I have to deal with right this second because Dom has been here for a little bit. I regularly will like try to have some sort of human interaction whether that's like a scheduled FaceTime day. I used to go get coffee down the street and sit outside with like one friend. But just always being proactive about getting out of the house even if that means like you're going on a walk and listening to a podcast because you just see people. So it depends on like obviously where you live right now but I think a lot of it is just like seeing people even if you're not hanging out with friends. Okay moving to a new city alone. Moving from Boston to Austin. Congratulations. Welcome to Texas. I think this is a good one. I moved to LA. Not technically completely alone. I had a roommate and then I did know a lot of people in LA. Obviously moving to Dallas I know a lot of people here as well. But when I moved to LA that was more of a new city for myself. I made so many friends through social media. I made a lot of friends through church. Whatever you're kind of into. I think the main way would be social media because a lot of things are just digital in general right now. So I would definitely recommend like reaching out to people on Instagram. To have a friend you have to be a friend. I always say this. Like it's so easy for us to sit at home be like I have no friends blah blah blah but like you didn't make any effort to meet anyone. And also when someone reaches out to me on Instagram to like hang out I never think it's weird. I think we also overthink like reaching out to someone via Instagram DM and I'm always really appreciative of someone when someone does that to me and I'm very quick to do that to someone else. It's not weird. I would just do that. How to deal with the fact that sometimes you feel guilty and bad you're not with your family because you miss them but then you need to be there by yourself. I think just make sure you're spending quality time with them rather than focusing on quantity time right. Like just being with them a lot versus like spending really good quality time with them is big and also not putting this expectation on yourself that you have to be like this perfect person to everyone because it's unrealistic and I think it holds us back from being an even better friend, daughter, sister sometimes. How to not let yourself isolate from others when feeling low. If you are feeling this way I would definitely recommend calling a friend and being like hey I'm feeling this way. I feel like I'm isolating myself. Can you maybe like hold me accountable if I'm not answering my phone or something like that. Like for instance I would call Dom and tell her that and then I would like keep up with Dom. You know what I mean? How to stay sane, spend time alone, LOL, just move to Dallas, no friends or family here. Just what I was saying I think picking up hobbies, listening to new podcasts. I started listening to a daily podcast that uploads Monday through Friday too and it's Two Sisters and I listen to that every single morning and that really made me have some sort of social feel at the height of quarantine so that was actually a really really good tip and that was just something I started doing that made me feel like I was like talking to friends every day even though I wasn't talking to them and they were just talking to me. Not even to me, to the recorder. But you know what I mean. You want to make friends, DM, whoever. You can make so many friends on TikTok, on Instagram. It's like the best thing ever. Do you ever wish you had a roommate? Honestly no. I really love living alone. I've had roommates before. I feel like I've done it already. Also in the house that I'm in now I find that I'm even more particular with things which I wasn't really like that when I was with roommates because they were, you know, obviously we were splitting the rent but I pay fully for this mortgage on my own so if I'm paying fully for a premium mortgage I'm like, I want this and this and I don't clutter things like that and it's my house that I'm paying for so I feel like I have one more ownership more responsibility and yeah, I honestly really like living by myself. I feel like you learn a lot about yourself as well. How to stay motivated, slash productive. I get this question a lot especially regarding living alone because I feel like people are so afraid and isolated and becoming depressed and lonely. Something I say all the time is discipline over motivation. You have to force yourself to do things sometimes and just because it's better for you but also listen to yourself. I feel like there are days where you need to just have a calm, chill day but then there are also days where I need to force myself to work out because I know I'm going to feel better and ultimately that's how I stay motivated and productive but I definitely place way more of an emphasis on being disciplined rather than motivation because I don't really want to follow feelings and emotions, you know what I mean? Alright guys, that is it for today's video. Hope you guys enjoyed. If you guys have more requests, leave them down below and comment below what other video requests you guys have. I love you guys so much and I will talk to you soon. Bye! He came in and just came up to me on the dance floor and like literally right when I saw him I was like, I always say it was like love at first sight which I think is like the cheesiest thing ever and I never believed that. I was like that's literally like a fairy tale like phrase but it's like this little like thing that you feel when you see someone it's like a little sparkle and you're just like so captivated by them and I just remember seeing him and thought like his smile he was like so charming we started talking he got my number and then we kind of separated for the night and then later on we got together and we literally stayed up until like 5 a.m. talking we spent every day together since that it was just like instantly just click. Yeah, I think our conversation after we met we like met on like the dance floor at this like little bar talked then then she said we separated but it was really about like once we came back together and had like deeper conversation we had I think 4 or 5 hours of conversation every night in a row for like 10 nights and just like getting to know each other and that I think really like set a foundation for one what we're big on is like communication we've always talked about that but just like truly getting to know each other