 All right guys up next we have Richard Laruna aka gambler He is the founder and CEO of pua training Market leader and like on the planet right now at least Europe and probably United States too Friend of his a spoke at the convention in two years in a row in the United States Adam Lyons you guys know him and Gambler is basically the man in Europe that Adam is Adam is in United States Long story short he's in kick-ass and I appreciate coming big time and supporting the event Thanks, man. Thank you. Yep Thanks guys. All right, so what I want to give you I've got like an hour and a half something around that time and What I'm gonna try and do is I'm gonna look at the whole four years that I've been Training and learning this stuff. It's probably about four and a half years And I'm gonna condense it down into an hour and a half So you might want to take notes What I'm gonna give you is not very much theory I'm gonna give you a lot of applicable usable techniques So if I'm teaching you something it's probably something that you can go out tonight and use it So that's gonna be kind of the, you know, the structure behind the talk So I started years and years ago and I started by reading the game and I was coming from a place where I was very shy Very bad socially. I was an introvert and I didn't have many friends Of course, I was terrible with women So at 25 years old I'd only kissed two girls and I literally, you know, I didn't know the first thing about anything My dates would be boring. I didn't know how to get a number I didn't know how to go for the kiss. I wasn't confident You know stripping down in the bedroom and pleasure in a girl in bed You know, I wasn't confident at any part of the pickups. I had to learn all of it from scratch and I started off like most people you read the game and you go out you try some routines You know who lies more David Bowie opener all of that stuff But then some things started happening and what I'm going to give you today are the real big things that I've learned that Really helped me get good and that I don't think I would have just found out by chance And I'm gonna start with something that I call forcing IOIs and go into Nonverbal game in general. So a lot of guys tell me, you know, how do I game in a really noisy club? Anyone anyone struggles sometimes in really really noisy places, you know music pounding the girls like what you know, I can't hear anything and It's funny because I've gone from being exactly the same from hating that kind of environment to now I'd say it's my absolute favorite place if I go out in London, you know I want to game in the place. It's like after midnight the music's pumping. It's packed It's super loud and there's no way you can have a conversation there And the reason is that I love using all this non-verbal stuff because it is really really cool and It all started for me I went on a holiday and I actually started in Sweden and I did a European tour with this guy Who is still to this day the best guy that I've ever seen gaming, you know He did some things when I was when I was with him on this holiday He did some things where I was watching him. I just couldn't believe it I was like standing there shaking, you know, I just couldn't believe what he was doing and still to this days The best guy that I've ever seen when it comes to escalating leading Dominating being sexual all of that stuff He recently started day game and he just goes out in the street gets a girl back to the house goes on the street gets a girl back to the house and when I've been the nightclub with him he'd say Oh, you know what? I want to get laid actually. I'm gonna take that girl home And I'd be like, yeah, come on and he'll go and talk to the girl five minutes later I see you later and he's you know, he's walking home with her and He's literally the best guy I've ever seen doing it. His name is Steve And we went on holiday and this is where I made my first big realization So at that time I was doing the traditional thing, you know approaching directly, you know, blah blah blah and make the target All of this stuff roughly follow a mystery method But I was seeing Steve do stuff and he wasn't following that he'd approach a big group But he just approached the hot girl. He'd take her out of that group He kissed her and then he'd leave and I'd be like what, you know, he didn't open the group He didn't need a wingman. He never asked me to come in and wing him He never seemed to hesitate. He always seemed totally confident in everything he was doing and the funny thing was that It took me a while to realize because he never he never taught me I just hung out with him and I picked it all up But I realized he was doing a few things and it all started with something that to this day is still probably one of the Most important things I've learned and that is forcing IOIs and using nonverbal communication So I'd be in the club with him and the first thing would be quite funny He'd go on the dance floor and he'd do this really silly dance and he'd be there and he'd go like this Like that and What would happen the girls would kind of look at him and laugh everyone in the room kind of thought that was quite silly But what does it show shows quite a lot of confidence Shows he doesn't take himself too seriously So he's already you know showing some good qualities right there, but he's getting attention Right so the girls are looking at him because he's he's doing this crazy dance They might even tap their friends. They look at that guy. What's he doing and when they look at him He's he'd kind of do like that. He'd do a little point. He might do this He might wave might raise his drink He'll do something that forces a response from them. He'd get their attention and then he'd provoke a reaction now The way this works is who's who's ever heard that mission when you go around a club and you introduce yourself to every Goal your cheers every go or yeah, you've seen that so you cheers every go in the bar It's quite a good one you get your drink walk around. Oh cheers cheers cheers Now if you think about that if I went around this room right now and I shook everyone's hand So go here shake hands go here shake hands. Oh, all right, you know go here shake hands All right nice one. So what what do we have? We have a response. There's pretty friendly response. They're this rude yeah, and A response there this friendly. So if I did it in the whole room, I'd be able to categorize all of you guys Right away in how friendly you're gonna be to me Okay, so if you go around a bar and you cheers all the girls some are kind of like Yeah, cheers like that and so I'm like, oh cheers. Yeah, have a good night Which one is going to be more receptive if you actually approach, you know the second one, right? First one you can approach us still but you're gonna need more game You're gonna need to try, you know, maybe pull out some some special tricks to get this one She might be a bit bitchy a bit tough The nice thing is you know that so you know where to come in you know where to calibrate your game to You don't need to neg every girl. You don't need to use a compliment opener and every girl You know, how do how do you approach a girl? You know what you can't use the one-size-fits-all approach But it's very difficult to come up with that in the time between you see her and you you walk up to her So what we want to do is we want to use the non-verbal way of opening the forcing IOIs So that we know exactly what kind of game we're gonna need and exactly how quickly we can escalate and we know that before we've even approached So this was the first thing I I I saw you know, I saw him do it and I started to incorporate into my game and I'd be in some way I get eye contact and I'd start by You know, I'd see the girl and I'd do that And I'd point and sometimes I might get the girls attention I might wave I might raise my drink and what you're then looking for is you're looking for a response So her response when you do something like you raise your glass or you wave her response can be kind of really positive like that It can be positive, but slightly shy So she kind of goes like that, but she likes it, but she's shy or she could go what's this guy doing? Like that that's all those are the only responses she can give if it's positive you can go in you can just say hey I'm Richard. How are you doing nice and easy? if it's negative You can go in but you know you're gonna need to you know be switched on and ready to Pull something out there, you know out of your magic tricks or something, you know, you're gonna have to come up with something there She's gonna be bitchy. She's gonna be skeptical. She's not gonna be friendly So you're gonna have to work harder So the nice thing is if I'm walking around a club and I'm constantly forcing IOI's then what I'm getting from girls is A response that tells me how they're gonna interact with me and the nice thing that that gives me is total confidence so I can be walking around a club and I force an IOI Does it take you know much effort to do that? Is it gonna give you a approach anxiety? You know to see a girl and just force a response It's not even something you have to think about you know anyone that sees the girl and they're like I want to talk to her Oh, she's with people. Oh, what kind of openness should I use? Oh, no, can I issue issue with a guide? What's what's good? You don't need to have any of those questions in your head You see the girl you force the response and you can walk around with total confidence because you're not gonna have any approach anxiety about doing that and Once you force the response, you know exactly what level of game you need, you know So from doing it for a while you get more and more confident You can also do things that before you even approach they raise your value so that the response is more likely to be better now think about this let's say you're a girl in a club and a Guy is walking towards you and you're like, okay This guy's coming to hit on me in that moment You have to decide not just do I like him but you have to think do I want to spend the next few minutes talking to this guy I'm actually having fun. Do I want to do that? My friends are gonna see me talking to this guy Do I want them to see that, you know, so you're fighting against a lot of different factors Not just whether she's interested or whether she's you know, whether she wants to talk in that moment when you do something nonverbal She doesn't have time to process it. She doesn't need to think she just thinks, you know, do I like this? Am I getting you know, is this is it fun? Is it playful think about my friend dancing like that and she looks and she smiles and he kind of does that She's like, oh, this is you know, this is fun. This is playful. This feels good If he wasn't dancing and he just started walking towards her She has to think about all this stuff and it makes it a lot more difficult So the funny thing is you can actually get a much higher success rate opening non-verbally than you would verbally and I didn't realize it because it seemed so simple But from watching other guys from training other guys and from doing it for so long I've realized that is the best way to open bar none and it's not just the guy Steve that did it It's also a few of the other best PUA's that I've ever seen they developed it as well So there's a guy that I know that slept with 750 women and he slept with a hundred finished girls He had a bet that you know Could he sleep with a hundred finished girls in ten years and he did it, you know He had to go to Finland a few times, but you know He won the bet, you know, it's crazy and he does it and the funny thing is all of these people Developed it, you know on their own just from going out to clubs all the time and sometimes you'll see a guy That's an amazing natural and he'll be doing some of this stuff So I developed that and I started, you know Expanding on it and it's got to the point now where all I try and do is walk around a club Generate as much value as possible Get girls to look at me And then do something that forces a response so it might just be you know something facial expression Might be anything and all I need is that small response now the response I need doesn't have to be like a really strong one just a subtle thing in their face and I know exactly what to do But on top of this technique that is already super powerful. I've added a few things and Everything I teach you today is stuff that I do is stuff that I do having tried Everything else and it's stuff that I do having you know come from a background where I'm an introvert guy that I'm you know I don't like Talking to tons of people usually and I don't like you know being the fun sociable guy in the bar all the time Although it comes out on me sometimes, but it's not my natural state my natural stays an introvert guy You know I'll be chilling with one or two friends quite You know chilled and relaxed and for me this game works really really well And is actually a positive over the guys that are really high energy You know it displays higher value So the next thing I layered on on top of this was a new type of opening So I've forced the IOI from a distance so I've got some nonverbal interaction going on and the next part of it Is my verbal opener that I use So a lot of situations are tough to directly walk up and start gaming It might be a girl that is with a guy it might be a girl who's ever been cock-blocked By guys by girls who's ever gone talk to a girl and then the guy comes in Yeah, who's ever been talking to a girl and it's going well and the girl likes you But her friends drag her away and she has to go with them We'd never go with them You know if our friends tried to drag us away when we were talking to a beautiful girl We're like I don't care go away, you know, it's like but come on. I've got no money You have to take me home. I don't care. Just get lost, you know, I've known you for ten years Doesn't matter. I've met this hot girl go away. Girls will never do that. So I Used to have all of those situations happen And the funny thing is that I can honestly tell you that for about a year and a half I have not had that happen I've not had a girl drag the girl that I'm interested away I've not had any situation be destroyed by other people in the group and I Realized that before I realized what I was actually doing to make that happen What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to generate instant rapport with girls and I'm trying to blow out the rest of the group So what I will do is I'll approach and I'll use something called a familiarity opener. I approach the girl and I'll say hey, how have you been and I'll say that loudly and when I do that. What are the rest of the group think? They think we know each other so then they relax the best way to explain this is I've just split up with my girlfriend, you know, it's like few weeks ago. I split up But imagine I got a super beautiful girlfriend and I was so into and I you know Took her out to a nightclub and you're there and you're like I want to steal his girlfriend. This is how you do it It's not gonna happen obviously, but you know I'm gonna hide her away, but no I'm out with my girlfriend. This is honestly how you could steal her and it would work Maybe I'm on to this, you know if more people start doing it It wouldn't work on me But probably you know tonight if I if I was out with my girlfriend it would work so I'm out with my girlfriend I'm in the club and Here's what happens I know it's a guy walking towards her All right, and I'm like, oh here we go, you know, he's kind of go and guard a little bit You're like, oh this guy's coming over. He's he might be you know causing trouble What's he gonna say? What are you doing with this loser or something? You know, what's he gonna come out with and I see this guy approaching But I don't instantly go on the offensive. I want to see what her responses So I look at her and if she's kind of like that and she's like why is this guy approaching? I'm like, okay you know I need to You know I can handle this But if I look at her and she's kind of smiling and she's happy to see the guy What do I think I think oh, okay, they know each other and I might even let them talk and then if he comes up He says hey, how have you been? 100% I'm gonna let them talk and I might even say oh listen. I'm just gonna go bathroom I'm just gonna go get a drink and let them talk He could have just approached her right there and then they could have never met before But what I've missed is maybe he was at a distance and he kind of caught her attention and he kind of went Maybe said that I like your shoes Maybe just raised his drink Maybe he did a funny dance and she looks and they kind of you know smiled it for a second Yeah, and I've missed that because the only people that will ever see this kind of non-verbal communication in the club Are you and the girl? It's impossible. I mean if I if I do that who am I waving to? You're looking at me. You'd have to instantly look back. You'd have to figure out who it was You know it wouldn't happen. So the only people that are aware of this communication is you and the girl so That would be how you steal my girlfriend and it's not even that difficult is it? You'd be able to approach and in a situation where it would be absolutely impossible to do verbally You'd need to do crazy things to do that verbally I've used this a few times in situations where I couldn't use any other method I've used it when there's like four people leaving the club and I like the last girl All right, so she's in a group of four They're all leaving the club and I like that one and I'm like shit. I missed her inside You know where was she but there she is now and I force the IOI and I say oh hey How have you been like that the rest of the people they want to go it's like 3 a.m They want to go home, you know, they want to catch a cab and Instead of saying no come on come on come on. We've got to go Which is what would always happen if they thought that I was just trying to pick her up They stood outside and waited and they gave us five minutes And that was long enough to get a number. Otherwise, it just wouldn't have happened. No way They would have dragged her away. Why would they wait for her to be chatted up by some guy some random guy They would never do that Another time be in the club and there's a girl with a guy, but Something's not quite right. It seems like he's interested in her, but she's not so interested in him But she's drinking some champagne. So, you know, maybe he's bought her a drink and You know, I'm looking at this. I'm like, hmm. I kind of want that girl and Force the IOI from a distance come in. Hey, how have you been? Haven't seen you for ages Listen, Steve and Karen, they're in the other room, you know, you haven't seen them for ages Have you come and say hi and we'll be back in a minute, mate. Take her in the other room Kiss her take her number and deliver her back to the to the dude, you know, I'll see you later go You know again impossible or very very difficult to do verbally But so so simple to do non-verbally What you're generating right from the beginning is a secret connection with the girl That's sexy, right? You're doing something where she doesn't have to worry about the social pressure Anyone that looks at that just thinks you know each other. So she doesn't have to worry about looking like a slag You know exactly where to come in you're not going to come in You know Being really direct and she's going to be bitchy or not going to be, you know, coming in negging her and being You know cocky and stuff when she's going to be really friendly You know exactly where to come in because you've set it up non-verbally So, you know, I was out in sweden Last night I'm like, okay. I'm in sweden. Let's see if the same stuff works works even better here The guys are less active, you know, they're less The girls are more comfortable Being out because they're not they seem to be less hit on there was one guy in the plate in the bar I was at that was running around all the girls and He was the only one, you know, we didn't see too much going on it works even better here The girls are more friendly. So that excuse won't work. This works absolutely everywhere that I've tried it And it is really really simple to do Once you're in set You can do a whole lot more We were doing this last night. I was out with Durham and A few guys in the team have started using the same techniques that I use and he was doing it So we were talking to four girls And we see another girl We get our attention like that These girls think we know that girl That girl responds positively because we're with four girls. We've got higher value Durham's like all the girls are suddenly up for it, you know Like yeah, it's true because we're with these four girls. So everyone's paying attention. You know, who are those guys? From that position of power you can set up all your next approaches We were in that bar and there was no time From the pin of you know, when we first walked in within a minute or two We were talking to girls. We were talking to girls all night We went with them to another club. So There's no point in the night where we kind of you know standing around You know when you're in set and then it ends and then you're kind of in the bar and you're like What do I do now anyone ever had that? Your value just drops if you got that girl's number she might then be looking at you being hmm Maybe I made a mistake there, you know a note to self don't answer when he calls, you know and you might panic so That never happened because all we were doing was we were stacking the iy so we're in we're in the first set We're setting up the next one there. Maybe set up one there and we're gauging how responsive they're all going to be so When we walk to that next girl, we're not kind of walking like There's no nervousness because we know it's going to work So we just stride over there with total confidence The other guys in the bar can't do that because they're unsure and if you're just a little bit unsure it might show through in some way You know, but it can have total confidence regardless of You know How confident you would usually be you can be totally confident in this situation If I took you to a bar and I said Okay, I approached that girl. She's going to be bitchy But if you talk to her for a minute, she might be nice approach that girl She'll give you you know her number that girl's just up for it You know you can take her to the bathroom in in 10 minutes You know this one's got a boyfriend, but she'll be polite if I told you all that all of that before you approach You wouldn't have approach anxiety. You just walk straight in But the nice thing is with this technique You can achieve the same result And the other fantastic thing is it's just a reflex. It doesn't have to be Anything you think about if I get eye contact with a girl I can honestly say another thing that you know is really surprising Again in the past year and a half. I've never had a situation Where I've had eye contact with a girl And I've missed the opportunity A girl that I'm interested in and I'm leaving the couple like damn. Why didn't I talk to that girl? You know, I think she might have been interested. I'm not sure but you know, I think she was I never have that anymore But I bet all of you guys have had it because I had it so much right you guys had that I can honestly say you know, that's that's been taken away And it's all because every time I get that eye contact. I'm not just kind of looking at her or breaking it or Smiling or something. I'm doing something that forces a reaction that tells me exactly where she's at Because the reason you don't approach every time you get eye contact is because there's that little bit of doubt, isn't there? There's a little bit of doubt That she might be looking at someone else over your shoulder That she might just be daydreaming that she might just be looking you're like, what have I got something? You know, there's that little bit of doubt that holds you back And then the next thing that happens is you're like, oh, what do I say? What openness should I use? Who's she with? What's going on? You know, have I got any condoms in my pocket? You know, is is my brother staying in the spare room or you know, you start thinking all of this stuff And it fucks it up when you go to pure instinct And you're just doing something physical You know, if you train martial arts and you get trained every day that someone punches you with their right hand And you block it with the left punch with the right hand block it with the left punch with the right hand block After a while it's not that you're not thinking about you just move you just move And if I came up to you and just did it you'd probably do it and hit me back and be like, oh, sorry I didn't mean to you know, just be a reflex What you can do is train it to be a reflex. Who would love the reflex that every time you see a goal you like it just happens You know who would rather be be there and be like Let me think about it for five minutes every time. Let me sometimes approach. Let me regret not approaching You like that? I need something to have stuff to do if I approach too many people No, I said every time you want to so if you're about to catch a plane And they're like last call mr. Richard Larruina and you're like, oh shit that girl. I'm going in Richard Larruina your bags have been offloaded You've missed the conference everyone will be waiting. Yeah, it's you know, that's stupid I've said every time you want to and no regrets. So You know, I know that my life before I had so many regrets and now it's nice to know that that's not going to happen anymore So those were two massive things that I learned and To recap forcing IOIs familiarity opening and IOI stacking This is like the essence of non-verbal game, but I try and do as much as possible. I do very little verbal stuff The next thing I'd like to talk about which was the next thing I realized was all of the things to do with escalation And again, this was an area that I was absolutely terrible in I used to just stand there never never touch girls never kino Go for the kiss after like a week or a month You know, even if they were into me right away, I take ages, you know, I'd never go for things and now What I do is I escalate From the moment I see them And I escalate in a very very smooth way Which means that I could kiss them in five seconds I could kiss them in five minutes or I could kiss them in an hour But I'm going to kiss them at the earliest possible opportunity and I will not miss it And the reason is due to the way that I'm escalating Could I have a demonstration subject, please? No, I'll stop right before You might try and kiss me when I do it, but it's not try and control yourself All right, so traditionally, but I'm still the show here So traditional pickup methods when it comes to going for the kiss They really didn't give me the tools that I needed I was out in the field and I'd be talking to a guy. It's going well And in my head I'd be like, okay. I need to say that thing and it's like Oh, you look like you're imagining kissing me Or can I kiss you? Or if you were in kissing school, what grade would you get? You know, who's heard some of those lines? Anyone used them? All right, so you're talking to a girl and you're not sure if she's interested or if she's just being polite If she's got a boyfriend or if she's single, you're not sure about any of that stuff And you're just going to throw it all out there and I'm not sure about you guys But for me that created a lot of moments where I was you know drum rolls there and you know loads of pressures building up And are you really going to do it smoothly in that situation? You might not do it at all. It's another case where you can miss those opportunities and have regrets Right So I had to develop a bunch of new ways to escalate And they are not verbal. They are non-verbal Okay, so what you say does not matter when it comes to this And the funny thing is, you know, I've watched guys in field, you know, I've watched them And I always I think why is it not working? And so what I've come up with is ways to escalate, you know, in every different situation So I'm going to give you a few of those situations And the way I want you to think about it is I want you to think about traditional escalation as being a non-off switch So you're not sexual. You're trying to kiss her. You're normal. You're sexual like that And it's a big moment I want you to change from thinking of of it like that an on-off switch And start thinking of it as a zero to a hundred scale Okay, so I'm talking to a guy. Where am I on that scale? You know zero, hopefully, right? I'm talking to a girl right before I kiss her And you're just feeling your heart's racing and you know, you're just feeling that sexual tension. It feels great You're not a zero. Okay, you're up near 80 90 Okay And it works so much better than just that on off because what it means is you can do it bit by bit A few different examples First situation is that you escalate while you're talking now If I'm having a normal conversation, maybe I've just come and talked to you and we're just being you know I'm just being sociable and then I decide that I I'm actually sexually interested and I might want to go for the kiss I'm going to start making a few changes If you look at the way I'm talking now and you have to put it on the scale You'd put it near zero because I could be talking to a guy, right? I could be talking to a family member There is nothing in the way. I'm talking that shows, you know, there's nothing sexual there at all And so I need to change that So what I'm going to do is I'm going to do a few things. I'm going to slow down the way that I'm talking and I'm going to smooth it out And I'm also going to look at her differently So I might glance down at her mouth And I'm going to look at her like I want her so I'm not doing anything where she can well, what are you doing? You're just looking at her, right? But you're going to look at her like you want her Do you all realize that there's a difference between looking at your granny? And looking at a girl you really want to kiss Would you both look at him like that? No, you wouldn't. You're going to look at her like you want her. You're going to feel it inside You want to kiss this girl? You want to do, I don't know, you know I'm sure some of you want to do all kinds of things But you're going to show her that You're not going to tell her it. You're going to show her just by the way you look at her You're not going to be groping her grabbing at none of that stuff just in the way you look at her So it's very simple. It's just a few elements. You go from talking normally to just being a bit slower A bit smoother Changing the way you look at her And the key thing that you need to do is to introduce Some pauses because in that moment where you've got a pause and the eye contact, what have you got? Sexual tension, that's it. That is the definition of sexual tension If you all write that down, it's a pause plus eye contact Equal sexual tension. It's so simple Now Most guys don't do that. They feel the tension. They do this. They're like Um, uh, yeah, so what about? Right Eat that tension up. You're a man. You need to handle it And that you cannot kiss a girl if you're like, oh, yeah So, you know, you're really pretty and I'd like to kiss you connect. No eye contact You can't do it. You can't be like, oh, yeah, the other day I was walking around is really good And I yeah, I bought a sandwich and then I you know, I hopped on the subway and I got out and went shop It's too fast. Right. It's not a tall sexual. You can't talk like that and then suddenly kiss the girl What you want to do is you want to slip her into this seductive vibe and she's watched enough films She's had enough boyfriends Especially this one She's had enough boyfriends that she's felt that before She's felt that moment where the sexual tension is there And all you're looking for is that moment where her heart rate increases And you slip into that vibe and it doesn't matter if you're in the middle of a packed club There's only you two there because you're in this bubble together And all you do to do that Slow down smooth out Change your eye contact and introduce pauses However Who's ever met a girl that talks a lot? Some women talk a lot Fine, you know, we might like it but it makes it difficult to kiss a girl You know, maybe, you know, you're telling me a story and I'm I'm there and I'm like, okay I want to kiss you finish the story. Come on. Oh no another story. Oh god, you know, it just keeps going on and on How do I how do I do it? I can try and take control of the conversation But I could also do something a little bit different. So do you want to just, you know ramble on about anything Okay, well Last year I went to Japan and it was amazing. It's like the most amazing country in the world It's really really beautiful Tokyo is amazing. Um, I kind of really like Kyoto Would you like to go to Japan? You're not bothered. Oh, it's pretty cool. It's really interesting You lasted pretty long We should do like a game show where they have to last as long as possible So She's talking but I'm escalating. How's that possible? I'm not even touching her What am I saying? I'm like, yeah, I don't care. I just want to kiss you. Yeah, all right That's interesting. I just want to kiss you. All right, Japan. Great could kiss you in Japan or I could kiss you right now All right, that that's all I'm thinking And she feels that what happens are heart rate increases. What does it show confidence? It's not sleazy You're not even touching her, right? It's totally safe and it feels cool. It's good Some situations that are really tough to escalate in Guys always mess up and You can even escalate in those so giving you two examples of how you can escalate when you're talking when she's talking What about when you're in a noisy club? Something that I always see happen Is I'll look at a guy and a guy. I'm like Something's wrong there. Something's gone wrong in this interaction, you know, he should be doing better than this. They've got nothing there You know, I'm with my girl and it's good. He's with his guy. It's just not happening And the reason is that he'll be there and he'll you know, it's a bit loud And he'll be talking in the air blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then she'll be talking blah, blah, blah, blah And then hmm. Oh, that's good. Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What are we missing? Eye contact. Yeah, this is zero. Okay. So I realized that when I talk in a girl's ear I still always keep the eye contact. So we've got eye contact when we're facing each other. I go towards the ear I'm keeping eye contact. I'm listening. I'm keeping eye contact. So it never breaks even when we're doing that But still There's more to it when it comes to this particular example This is actually a really good situation to escalate but it's a time when a lot of guys blow it So if you think about it, let's go back to that zero to a hundred scale and let's talk about, you know You're talking to your your friend in the bar. You'd be in the bar and you'd be like, oh, yeah Yeah, blah, blah, blah, you know, did you see any of the world cup yet? Okay, cool. And then, you know, that's how you do it Okay, so that's zero Now let's try and dial it up, you know, bit by bit and get close to a hundred All right, so the next thing you might do is you might, you know, have a touch here You're talking there and then she's talking there. So you just got a touch on on the arm there Oh, you should probably put this down actually So that that would be a slight escalation The next one is you might just get a bit closer and you might touch the other side Which means that you're you're kind of more over her. So touch the other side talk talk talk Listen, listen, listen You know, like that talk talk talk So again, it's a slight escalation If you want to escalate more from that point You'll do the next one where Touching back of her head Talking in her ear and you're a bit closer And then you're listening like that You would not do that with your friend, right? If you want to take it further than that When you go to talk in the air, let's come this way, but actually I'm nervous I told you I'll stop right at the Right at the last minute if you want to take it further than that When you go to talk you might look like you're going to kiss her, but you won't so you'll go in Yeah, and then another thing is blah blah blah And then she's talking and then you might go to the other side And go back and you'll be close And when you come back you might brush cheeks But do you see how when you go in it looks like you're you're going to kiss now What you get there is What what can sometimes happen if I just went in for the kiss what might a girl do? Exactly that So if I kind of go like I'm going for the kiss and then move to the side And she she might do one of a few things she might move back and I'm like, okay. She's not ready. She might just be You know stay in the same place, which means she's ready or she might Kind of move into it even I'm like, oh here we go, you know, and then you know it's on right away You don't know if you don't ask the questions But you don't need to ask the questions verbally because that's kind of lame, isn't it? You know, you're just going to ask it physically in a way where you get the answer really simply now The final thing that I would add I would add a lot of When I'm talking to girls, I escalate with every part of my body. I use my feet. I use my legs I use my hands and I touch them in lots of different places as well So the final thing I might do is I might make sure that when I'm talking to her I've got some contact leg to leg Either here or inside, but I try and get that leg to leg contact Can you tell them how does I mean just having that let's say we were standing side by side if you stand, I mean Having nothing versus just our legs touching how sexual would you call that contact? It's fairly sexual. It's pretty sexual, but All it is is a leg, right? It's not like hands, you know somewhere, you know that might cause problems It's just a leg touching a leg But it is sexual and the reason that is sexual is there's no way on earth that you would do that with a male friend So it's one of those touches that is non ambiguous What you're looking for when you're escalating is non ambiguous touches and non ambiguous communication You want her heart rate to increase you want her to start feeling something But the way I do it you're not doing anything where she can be like well What are you doing or not so fast or any of that stuff because I don't get those reactions I don't get those, you know slow down or no I don't get that stuff because they only come if you know, I'm talking to a girl and then I go Uh, let's kiss like that and I kind of lunge in I don't do that. So it doesn't happen. It never happens if you escalate from zero to a hundred one increment at a time An increment every second or whatever And you do it that smoothly She's going to go with it. You heard earlier problem. I'm sure you heard it all weekend, but Durham mentioned it the yes ladder Yeah Are you English are you in sweden? Yes. Yes. Okay. He's standing in the room. Yes. Do you want to kiss me? Yes You know, that's what you've developed, you know Um Use the analogy of when you put a frog in cold water and then turn the heat up and it stays there and dies Because it's a gradual thing But if you just threw him in they jump right out So what you're doing with the girl is you're actually not giving her any situation where she has to decide yes or no It just happens There's nothing she can do about it She'll go with it So you will get girls You'll be able to kiss girls that would definitely say no in many other situations And so I talked about the first thing being verbal and I talked about the second thing being escalation And there's another element that I use when it comes to escalation that I think is really really powerful And we could just do something about that. Let's let's take a seat So we're sitting down in the club And I'm talking to you guys and would you say that I'm talking to you in a sexual way? All right, and if we were having a conversation I'm like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm in sweden. I'm going to be here a few days I'm going to norway actually afterwards. That's going to be cool. How would you characterize that interaction? Yeah, so you'd put it like near a zero right in terms of sexual sexual content Let's imagine you were her friends in the club. What would you think of this interaction? Would you think that there's It's pretty safe and you don't need to worry about her and you know, she's not suddenly going to leave the club with me Yeah, I think he looks very relaxed Cool. All right So what was going on behind the All right Now I told you I would demonstrate something and there's a lot of you in the room And you still all missed it That means no one else in the club would see that All right Girls have a good girl part and a bad girl part They enjoy sex They like men It's exciting to meet a guy And to have them turn you on and all of that stuff, but they still say no It doesn't make sense. Does it well it does because that's their good girl part So they're always fighting between their good girl part and their bad girl part If you haven't been in a situation where you know the girl wants it, but she won't give it You know she's there and you know, she's she maybe lets you kiss her But she won't let you do anything else even though you can tell she's turned on and she likes you Anyone been in that situation? Good girl versus bad girl right there is going on What you're doing in this situation is you are not putting her in a situation where she needs to say yes or no Okay, I'm going to be a bad girl. You're talking to the good girl And you're exciting the bad girl at the same time You're not triggering those responses Women need to say no Because men keep pushing right? They keep pushing and then there's some point where the woman says no stop So she's conditioned with that response Women are conditioned, you know, if you try and touch their boobs to say no, what are you doing? We're trying to talk to them. No, what are you doing hands down the note? What are you doing? Yeah, they're conditioned to do that because this happens, you know many many times and they get conditioned to say no at some point What the man is doing there is he's he's doing a full-on escalation He's pushing hard. So she has she she has to react in some way Otherwise, she'd be a bit of a slag wouldn't she if she just went along with it every time with every guy So she gets conditioned to say no in a lot of situations I'm not triggering any of those responses. I'm not triggering any of those alarms if I were talking to I'm like Oh Like this She's like, oh, something's happening. He's getting excited. He's gonna kiss me. Oh better slow him down Men are only after one thing. I stopped that, you know, you're moving fast, you know, stop not in front of my friends million different examples of ways she might Respond negatively to that if you do a full-on escalation However, when I do this when I do what I call multi-level communication when I'm physically escalating And verbally I'm just being plain Verbally, I'm in control. Look at me. It's not like I'm, you know Seem really excited or I'm like So I seem like I'm under control. We're having a normal conversation But she's enjoying it. So she doesn't feel like she needs to say anything so she can quietly enjoy it She knows that her friends aren't going to think she's bad But we've got this secret thing going on and that's really exciting and it's turning her on and it's going to work and I remember We put a video on youtube and it's one where I interviewed Callum best He's like a he's the son of george best the famous footballer and in london He kind of goes out to all the clubs and he gets free drinks and he's kind of a B-list celebrity in london And I remember one time when we were in a in a car He was in the front seat with the driver and I was in the back seat with this girl And he was having a conversation With us. We were all having a conversation and I was talking very normally but touching up her leg like that And then I moved I was touching up different and I was like, oh really that's interesting Callum Yeah, blah blah blah and then he was talking. Yeah, so what do you think about that and all the time? I'm touching her up And if you watch that interview he says one minute you were there with the girl and one minute, you know You'd gone and you taken her back to the house And that was a girl that he was interested in but he didn't see it You didn't know what was going on because it was a secret communication between me and the girl now imagine If we'd just been sitting there in front of all you guys And I'd carried on doing that, you know Think of, you know, what a turn on that is that we're here in a packed room But we've got this little sexual thing going on but we're like, oh really? So where are you from in england? Oh interesting And you guys are like, why is games shit? What's going on? But there's that secret thing going on. So I mean all I was doing if you wouldn't Turn around all I was doing is I was just like stroking here and you know stroke up by the neck You could even pull the hair and stuff, but it's again. It's a touch that is Do that later. No, I'm sorry. It's a touch that is not ambiguous Right, you would not touch a friend like that But on the other hand, it's not something that she's like, well, what are you doing? You touched my back No, it's okay. You're allowed to touch your girl's back You can put your arm around the girl as soon as you meet her, can't you do it in the right way Can't walk up to her and say, hey, how are you doing and put your arm around her? Or you can but not always But you can walk up to a girl and say, oh, hey, who are you here with these girls? I'm with those guys over there. That guy's cool. I actually have to introduce you later You've put your arm around her straight away. So it's not a touch that is Going to trigger any of those bad responses Thank you. I think Yeah, yeah, thank you very much So that was the next thing I learned when it comes to escalation escalate from the get go Right away you start on zero. Don't stay there. Don't try and make one big leap to a hundred Start on zero and move up smoothly In a way that she will never reject you and that you get all of the answers to the questions of whether she wants to kiss you Without actually going for it You know or without asking We were with with some girls last night Durham and I and I talked to him and I was like That one's totally up for it. This one's really shy. She'd be a lot of hard work But she'd probably be a good girlfriend, you know this one, you know, she's kind of in the middle And lo and behold one of the girls got sick and had to go home And the one that was really up for it the two that were most up for it. They stayed So within those first few minutes, I made that decision And these girls left their friend they let their friends go and they stayed in the club with us because they wanted to be with us and When the girl was kind of dancing with Durham and she was all, you know Totally up for it But within five minutes it was possible to classify and that's only because you put on a little bit of pressure Create some sexual tension And you see what happens So two huge things I learned guys and honestly it's responsible for Tons and tons of, you know, great times out and like I said, no regrets Because you're always going to be doing it. You're always going to be opening. You're always going to be escalating You're never going to have any situations where you blow it And it just takes a little bit of practice All the other benefits are that you never you never need a wingman You never need to occupy a group You don't need to because you're instantly isolating because they think you know her You don't have to worry about getting rejected because of what her friends might think You don't have to worry about her getting dragged away. You know, it's just amazing So that's kind of the end of that section that I wanted to teach and I want to teach something else That's totally different. So if you've got any questions on all of the stuff that I covered Now would be the time So there's no questions. So we'll carry on. No, I'm joking. I'm joking Uh, good. So one question. How do you handle two set then because if you're isolating you leave one behind? Two set is slightly different. Oh, okay It's the only yeah, sorry I just said that two set is slightly different because obviously the other girl can't do too much Yeah, she's left behind Yeah, the idea with a two set is that in a lot of cases that girl will give you some time together But you need to find out what the logistical situation is I mean if if they live together and this one needs to take her home or something like that Then it's just worth getting a number But in most cases when it's a two set I will try and keep both of them happy And are you creating a sexual secret with both of them or no, I mean in a situation what what I would do Oh, that's the good thing, right? There's the goal that I'm interested in and there's the other one In the first 30 seconds, I want to make this other one Kind of approve of me talking to that one and just get her, you know approval So she's not going to ruin it or cause any trouble then I will Start to interact with this one and what I'm looking for is her response So again, I'm going to escalate slowly and I want to see what she does now You're talking to a girl in a two set. She could respond in a few different ways She could give you a full attention and totally ignore her friends In which case, you know fine Or she could be aware that she's ignoring her friends that her friends get in boards that you know whatever it is And she she might be looking at the friends So that's kind of what I'm looking for in the second situation where she's aware of her friend and she keeps kind of looking at her A number's best or you want to take both of them and you know Talk to both of them take them both somewhere else or whatever But in the first situation you can probably escalate with that one and the friend will just You know find another man or whatever Richard you were saying like you're seeing in the club the the girl's ready for it or she's a little bit shy Because I find it very difficult to Give the right interpretation of the non-verbal signals of the of the female Because maybe she looks weird, but then she thinks well, I'm a nice guy Can you tell us something about how do you know if the girl's ready for it or not because All right, there's there's a couple things. So the first is good question, right? How do you how do you really interpret a girl's signals? First thing is that if you just look at her if you've only got eye contact And she kind of looks at you and then does that right? So that's your eye contact What does that tell you not very much at all? That's why you force the iy So if I see the girl and I do something like that You're going to very easily be able to see how interested she is based on her response You know it will be something like that if it's negative or be something like, you know Smiling and giving a positive response if it's good and if it's on so by doing a stronger action You don't need to be so good at reading women's signals as you get better at it Your action can become less and less strong. So that makes sense So now I wouldn't I would just use a facial expression And just from that I'd be able to tell But in the beginning I was doing something quite big. I see the gun Doing a point or you know doing some action that is quite strong So start off with a strong actions and then take it down over time The second thing is that I will try and escalate from the first moment So if I forced an iy with you and you've responded I will walk up and from the moment that I start walking I will be trying to escalate I mean I'll look at you And I'll try and look at you in a sexual way if you go with it And you're comfortable with it. You might get kissed as soon as I get there If you're not totally comfortable with it, I'm like okay. I need to take a while longer And I'll stop I'll tone it down And then build it up as I'm interacting with her. So You really get the answer when you escalate and when you force a strong reaction with your opener And huge mistake. This is another thing, you know, I haven't I only told you to write down one thing so far I would write down this You do not need any kind of signal from her apart from the absence of a negative one All you're looking for is a red light if there's a red light You stop where you're at on the level of escalation. You're at a red light meaning She moves back or you know, she starts breaking eye contact and looking for her friends or something like that That's your red light. But the funny thing is Girls give different IOIs you can be talking to a girl and she touches her hair And you're like, did she just want to touch her hair or is that an IOI, you know, and you're your second guess in yourself Some girls give different signals. They're ambiguous, you know, it's always tough. Some girls just like attention You know, so they like to do all this stuff, but they don't really mean it. So What you're really looking for is just is the red light there or not because I've talked to girls that just stand there like that And they don't give anything away and you're like, well You know, where's my signals? I've done all this amazing stuff. You haven't given me any IOIs. What's going on? But if I'm escalating and she's standing there, what does it mean? She's fine. She's holding eye contact. She's engaged. Yes. She doesn't need to touch her hair She doesn't you don't need any of that. So you don't need to be good at reading signals Apart from the negative ones, which are really easy Lean back Raise the energy level. So where's my friends gone? You know, I need to go to the toilet whatever, you know We all know the negative ones. They're really simple and guys always ask What are the female, you know, what are the IOIs and we come up with these long lists? You know, if they touch that if they point their feet towards you if they ask your name If they ask if you're sick, yeah, of course, these are IOIs But you do not need them and if you look for them and you only escalate when you get them You're probably only getting 50% of the girls you could So does that answer the question and a bit more nice one? Yeah, well, uh, you're talking a lot about, you know, using Using like non-verbal signals. You're using a lot of your body language knowledge But would we suggest for like people like me because, you know, let's be honest, you know My body language is fairly limited even though I got all the necessary functions for bringing girls home See what I mean What would you suggest because it's uh But my gear is all right. There's nothing wrong with that. But what would you suggest for, you know Instead of this because you know, I can't use as much body language as normal people can, you know Sure. I mean there's two ways to skin a cat, you know So if if you're talking to a girl and you're escalating physically and you're doing all this stuff That's great But there's another way to really blow a girl away and that is with your verbal connection So If you can have an incredible conversation with her where she feels totally connected That would achieve the same result of making her feel a lot So you have to play to your strengths and that's what that's what I would suggest Yeah, but still in clubs and all that you won't be able to hear much so Would be hard to have the verbal thing and that's why you used to know verbal thing, right? Yeah, exactly I mean for a very noisy club But like I said, there's there's guys on our team in london that only do day game In fact, they've got a website daygame.com. It's all about day game. I hate day game, you know I love night game, you know, so you have to play to your strengths and And what I used to do anyone that read my book, they said, oh, wow, you're really good at connecting and you do all this Yeah, I'm good at but I hardly use it anymore But if I did more day game if I had situations where I was in conversations with girls I would bust out all that amazing conversational material and in a nutshell I don't know if how quickly could I teach my conversation stuff? It'd normally take like a weekend. I'll try and do it in two minutes Um Cool All right Who likes conversation stuff? I do it all the time Do you do you guys talk sometimes? No, do you talk to girls? It's the thing is it's total opposite of the escalation stuff. It's the complete opposite But if you ever want to create a really powerful connection with a girl Deeply connect and make a feel like wow, you know, that was like the most amazing date Meeting first, you know, whatever, you know, that I've ever had in my life Then the conversation stuff can really do it so Best way to explain it is like this In your life right now If you had a big decision to make you wanted to quit your job and go and study something You wanted to go and travel the world. You wanted to do something really big So think of a big decision that you might take in your life You might tell a lot of people about it, but how many people would you genuinely genuinely talk to And really have that heart-to-heart and get their opinion on whether you should do it or not How many in your life? one three Anyone got higher than three No, what that means is that you've got three people in your life That totally understand you That you're connected with And the reason you talk to them about this is because they would understand you and they would make the decision And they'd think about it from your perspective So if I told you guys right now I want to go and live in the jungle in brazil What do you think? Oh, don't go man. It's got bugs there Don't you want to go somewhere with hot girls blah blah blah? It's dangerous, isn't it? You'd say whatever you think about it That's not too useful to me because i'm the one that Is thinking about doing it, right? So here in your opinion Relating to your life. Oh, I could never leave my job. I don't you know, I don't mind. Maybe I can, you know But if I talk to someone that knows me They're going to answer it from my perspective Or something you've always wanted to do, you know, you've worked really hard It'd be great to do it do it now before you know because you want to settle down and have kids and stuff So it's the right time to do it. They'd answer it from my perspective And that's why that one two or three people in your life. That's why you talk to them when you have a difficult decision to make They are our soulmates or whatever they are, you know lifelong friends family members people really understand us Guess what? You can get that with a girl within an hour You can put yourself in that category I was talking to a girl in a strip club many months ago And also last week but in this particular situation many months ago And we had this situation where she told me We got into a conversation and started getting deeper and deeper and then she started crying And then she started asking my advice on stuff and she told me that she'd moved to England and her family and people Everyone was back home. She had no one she could talk to and she's sorry that you know She just poured it all out But you know, she thinks that I'm already an important person in her life She feels like she's known me for ages and she trusts me And I was like wow, you know Gotta be careful with this, you know, but it is incredibly powerful. Here's how you do it nuts and bolts technique Be careful with this. It's really really powerful stuff Only use it on a girl that you really like don't use it just for fun. That's nasty. Please honestly If I'm telling you something about myself I'm a pickup coach You know, I travel around talking in front of audiences I started my own business. I moved from Cambridge to London I You know any any fact about myself something I like doing You've got a problem with your brains that is going to stop you connecting with me until you've known me for a few months And then it might be possible if we really got on well And the thing is that anytime you get a piece of information You route it for a circuit in your brain, which says what do I know about this? Okay, so if I say I like playing golf, what are you thinking? You're thinking about oh, I watch golf on tv. Oh, I played tiger woods game on the whatever, you know I play crazy golf when I was on holiday Or oh my brother plays golf, right So anytime I say something if a girl says, oh, I love you know painting or dancing All you're thinking about is your experience to that if I say I love painting who thinks about back to school when they were painting as a kid You know who thinks about some paintings you saw in an art gallery Who thinks about your friend that is does some drawing and they're really good at it and you wish you were All right, you've related it to yourself and it's it's not your fault It's all because of that circuit in your brain that it's that's that's just the way it works But you can train it to do something else If I'm talking to a girl I go in and I see that she's pretty enough and I want to talk to her But I imagine that I've got this blank canvas and I want to fill it all out and get all of the details And find out who she really is because I need to know could this girl be my wife Or is she just some random check that I might want to sleep with? And to answer that question I need to dig and find out and I might know within a minute Or I might need to keep building out the picture to really make sure and put a you know put her through her paces And what this means is that I'm trying to find out All of the important stuff so I need her to open up and I need to connect with her So anytime I get a piece of information from her, I'm trying to get to three key things Emotions motivations and character traits These are the essential ingredients Of who you are The funny thing is People share the same emotions, right? Everyone has the same base set of emotions. I don't have different ones to you. We've all got the same ones We can all understand each other, but we don't So if we take these three things emotions motivations and character traits And let's say you go out tonight and you meet a girl in the bar And she tells you that she's moved to sweden a few months ago from Argentina All right, she tells you that You could respond to that. Oh, what do I know about argentina? Like that or how you like in sweden Not really going anywhere there. Are you if you do that stuff? If you have in mind emotions motivations and character traits What could we say about this goal? What could we say in terms of emotions about moving to another country? Scary like the actual emotions. Yeah, how's it? How would you feel doing it? Scary Adventurous that's a character trait. So you already got one. All right, but scary Exciting. Yeah, if it's just scary, you won't do it, right? Exciting. Okay. So we've got a couple of emotions got one character trait adventurous Most people don't do that. Do they we all stay where where we're born, right? We stay in the same place stay in the same job stay with the same friends What does it say about her? You know risk taker likes, you know taking a chance going for things What might you wonder you might wonder about her motivations? Why might she have done it? Mafia people, you know pushed away from home danger You know, you might meet people in london that um, you know when there's wars going on or something They've come over from country because there's a war. They want to escape it, you know, maybe they're running from something What what other motivations might there be? Just to experience something. Yeah Job so it could be economic they want to you know, make the most possible in in their life They want to earn money and become successful so they can support their family or whatever, right? Now that's actually the important stuff, isn't it not oh where you from in argentina? How do you like sweden? What do you do, you know That is the important stuff. We're getting to the gold there So anytime i'm talking to a girl I will be thinking What does that make her feel? Why would she do it motivation and what type of person does that? Introvert extrovert adventurous boring, you know, what type of person? now Who's moved country? Couple of you so you'd be good at answering that question Anyone that has stayed in the same country their whole life Is it possible to still answer that question in the same way we just did? Yeah, you have to think about it. You have to put yourself in her place So when i'm talking to a girl and she gives me a piece of information I'm immediately thinking she's like oh, yeah, i'm 22 years old and I really like dancing I you know, I do dance classes. What am I thinking in my head? I'm not sure. I'll what type of dance, you know I'm thinking what is behind this emotions motivations character traits Take character traits You know, she's doing this thing. She's not forced to do it anymore She's probably busy with work and she still takes the time every week to go and dance She's dedicated, you know who here's got something that they're dedicated to they go to the gym or they do something all the time All right, so you can identify with that even if you don't You can still identify and understand it and you might even like it. You might reward it How does she feel when she's doing it? It's expressive. It's liberating. It's you know a change of her mental state Do you have to be a good dancer? Do you have to have danced to understand it and be able to answer those questions? No, you don't So all I'm doing anytime I talk to a girl and I find out any piece of information I want to think emotions motivations character traits and I don't ask her I ask myself What type of person would do this? Why would they do it? And how would they feel doing it? And because we're all human we're all the same underneath it all We just express it differently. I can understand it And that's how I could talk to a stripper for half an hour Not only distract her from all her money making and all of that stuff But get her to feel totally connected within half an hour to a customer And that's how I've met girls and they say I feel like I've known you for three months In a few you know an hour or so on the first date And that is how I would say that you can Really blow a girl away because you can live your whole life And you're like one person two person three people that you'd actually talk to I believe that if I sat down with any of you for an hour You might ask my advice if you had something on your minds like that a big decision You might include me in that list of one two or three people because When I've talked to girls, that's what they do question I was going to teach something else. You're never going to see it now But I hope that was all right Is there that'll be new stuff? I don't know. Let's see Is there in this technique a danger that you can establish a good connection Of the girl thinking well, this is an amazing friend And if there is how can you prevent it? I've got no problem getting in the friend zone with a girl. I think it's a very good thing because I know how to get out of it and I would say that If you went out tonight And then you came tomorrow and you're like I went out I didn't fuck any girls, but I met five girls that I might hang out with So I don't know if I did too well. I mean like you probably did the best Because those five girls are going to invite you out. They're going to socialize with you They're going to introduce you to their friends And you probably won't even need to do any more cold approaching now Because you met these girls they're going to look after your social life So you bring a girl into you know to to the friend zone And it's a position of power if you gave me 10 supermodel friends You know, I would never be doing cold approaches. Well, all your friends in from new york. Let me guess. She's a model Great, let's go meet her and she's like this is richard. He's the coolest nicest guy in london And she's like, okay, you know, what else do I have to do? escalate You know, I'm safe I've been social proof to all of that stuff's taken care of just from a good introduction from a girl So friend zone is is fantastic If you know how to get out of it Durham gave you a bunch of ways and I would echo those, you know, I have a bunch of things I do so I might meet a girl and All I'm going to do is I'm going to demonstrate that I'm attractive to other women I'm going to game other women in front of her and talk about other women if I've got stuff going on And I will treat her as a friend. So I might be talking to her and check out this So I'm talking to rotista and then I'm going to do this What have I just done? Checked out another girl Checking out a girl in front of someone you just find to do in front of a friend It's not fine to do in front of a girlfriend. Don't treat her like your girlfriend You know, what does that tell you? He's sexually interested in women Okay, why isn't he interested in me? Why is he checking this girl out? You meet her instead of going when you hug her. Oh, hi Smell her perfume. Oh, you know Instead of doing that hug I said, hey, how are you doing pat pat pat? If I hugged you guys, you're not gonna go like that to me. Oh, you're gonna pat pat man man hug, aren't you? That's how you hug a friend do that to her just do a few things get to go in the friend zone. It's easy If I've got to go in a friend zone and I take her out to a bar with me by the end of the night That'll be that'll be it because I've been a gentleman. I've been nice. I've connected I've done all of the stuff to her apart from the final bit Which is generate sexual tension and escalate by her seeing me run around and do that with all these other girls She's like, wow and she starts looking at me in a different way and she's like, hang on I'm better than those girls and we get on so well What's going on here? I need him You know and then oh, it just happens And there'll be some moment and I'll be like tickling her or something and You know, then I'll stop and I'll look at her And there'll be that sexual tension there and I'll kiss her and I'll say, you know what? We shouldn't do this with such good friends kiss her again I don't know. It feels wrong. It's kind of nice, but I think it's wrong, isn't it kiss her more You know, I hope this doesn't ruin the friendship. This is bad. You voice all the objections But you carry on escalating. So, you know friendzone is easy It's like a one two three to get out of it But to get a close female friend is so beneficial to your life so many times I've been out and you know crazy things have happened. There's there's this girl that got me laid three or four times You know this one girl that I met one time and made friends with her because she was just really nice I was talking to her friend who was hot. She's less hot Um, I think I slept with her once but she's you know, she was less hot And we made friends because she was just so nice and so fun and she just put me in a good stand I'm like, you know what? You're fantastic. I'd love to go out and party with you You're definitely coming with us next time we go out We go out a few times and then she'd call me and she'd say I wish I'm just in the area Should I stop in and say hi? We're just on our way to a club. Yeah. Yeah, sure come up She comes up with this hot girl happened to be swedish And we'll sit there and she sees that I'm getting on well with the swedish girl And she says guys, I'm just going to go and buy some cigarettes. I'll be back in a minute She leaves and doesn't come back So she just delivered a girl to my house And before that I was doing all these stupid cold approaches running around In a 34 40 girls and I and I just thought what an idiot I've been Just have a few female friends and if they like you and if they've got Other female friends, which is you know, quite likely They will introduce you and say this is Richard. He's a lovely guy and this girl's like, okay Well, I could go with all these random guys that could be dodgy could be rapist could be murderers And she'll think I'm a slag for doing that or you know Could go with this guy who she says is really nice and you know, I know he's not gonna It's not gonna be a murderer or anything because you know, I've seen him on facebook. So he must be okay, you know We've got three mutual friends on facebook is fine Nothing bad could happen there It just makes it so easy and you only need instead of needing, you know, this much game You just need that much just the escalation. So Sorry for answering your question and five others, but There we go All right, who's got the final You missed something amazing as well, but it's right No, no, I mean the stuff I didn't teach because I went off on conversation, but I shouldn't tell you I shouldn't tell you now. It's never before seen It's only on this pad It only exists in my head And on this pad And that's it I was just wondering about a possible scenario when you use this This approach when you pretend to know Yeah, the girl if you if you approach, you know A group of people and you go and say how have you how have you been and she likes Who the fuck are you and and they all Aren't doing a worse position then because now you're the guy. Yeah, that's ridiculous But you wouldn't do that because what you've done is you set it up before the approach So you're in a group of four. All right, if I just verbally walk up that might happen Um, you might like me but they don't and they get rid of me. All of these things are wild cards And so, you know, you're not sure what what exactly is going to happen What I want to do is I want to get your attention And I want to force something from you from a distance and then I've got a positive response. So I mean I've given a few examples of where I've used nonverbal stuff But it really starts, you know on the open and then you that doesn't matter because you know that she's going to be Warm to you I give an example of a situation when I was in a club And there was a beautiful girl in an exclusive club behind a table with drinks and with a bunch of guys and girls And I looked at this. I was like, I really want that girl. But how the hell do I get in there? It's absolutely impossible to get in there. There's no space and if you're like, hey, mate Can I sit and he's like, no, I've paid for this table get out or he just signal the security guy to To get me out of there. So it's it's pretty much impossible. Super loud. What do you do? So I see the girl and she she looks a bit sleepy and I go like this She's like, huh? But she loves it. She's smiling As I walk towards that girl remember earlier when I talked about stealing my girlfriend as I walked towards that girl And they're like, who the fuck's this guy? And then they look at the girl and they're like, oh, she knows him because she's And I'm like, oh, um, oh, hey, how have you been? All right In front of the group. Oh, hey, mate. Can I just sit here for a second just to catch it? I won't I won't stay long. I'm actually over there with some friends. I'll just I'm Richard, by the way Move up. I'm sitting next to the girl on this guy's table and I'm like, you know, and I'm Doing things with her, but he thinks I know I know already. I'm like, let's go and dance We're just going to go and dance. Do you want to come and dance? I introduce you to my friends With some I just whisper I'm with some hot girls So you can go into a situation that's absolutely impossible But you missed that first element if you went out and tried it like that tonight. Hey, how have you been? What it wouldn't work. You need the first the first piece of the puzzle there, which is to set it up non-verbally And then it always works Cool, it's a wrap