 Portions of the following program are transcribed. The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gildersleeve. The Great Gildersleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, you know, has been famous for years for bringing you the very finest foods, quality foods, the world's favorite varieties of cheese, America's choice in salad dressings, and many other wonderful things to eat. When you shop, look for the name Kraft. Remember, the name Kraft on any food is your guarantee of quality. Well, it's a crisp cold night in Summerfield. Here and there, a lighted Christmas tree glows warmly in a window, holly reeds have begun to appear, the ground is white with new snow, and it's still falling, big fat flinks that cling to the porches and the trees, and to the brim of the Great Gildersleeve's hat as he hurries down his front steps, makes a cautious turn as he reaches the sidewalk, then strides gaily up the street toward Catherine Milford's house. Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la, here's the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la, what? Well, I'm dropping in at Miss Milford's for a while this evening. Can I walk with you? I'm going to Piggy's house. I'm putting up that tree tonight. We're going to decorate it. Well, good. Don't stand on the furniture. You're going to help nurse Milford decorate her tree? Well, you can't tell. We may string a few cranberries, drape the icicles around. What if Dr. Olson is there? Leroy, don't worry about Dr. Olson. Oh, I'm not. But you said he was a pain in the neck. You said he was always hanging around her house when you wanted to be there. Well, you weren't supposed to have heard that. But that used to be that way. How is it now? Leroy, the nurse has decided she doesn't need a doctor, as much as she needs a water commissioner. Like it is, I haven't seen Dr. Clarence Olson in weeks. Gee, then you're with her, aren't you? You bet I'm with her. Jolly, you got to be smart to be the doctor, too. You said it. Gee, and you're my uncle. Yeah. Well, here's Piggy's house. See you later, Ron. See you later, Leroy. Yes, sir, there's a mighty fine boy. Good luck, Morton. Hello, Catherine. Come on in. My, it's snowing out, isn't it? Yeah, just a little. Look at you. You have a big snowflake right on the end of your nose. Yeah, I do. Well, cold nose, warm heart. Let me take your coat. Thank you. Well, beautiful tree cafe. And Christmas presents. Are all those for me? No, but you can help me finish wrapping them. You're fine. Lots of presents. Well, Mother and I have lots of relatives. Oh, sure. Then I couldn't forget those darling children down at the hospital. Oh? There are five of them that Santa Claus may not remember. Well, good for you, Catherine. Be ashamed if any little kitties were forgotten on Christmas. Here, put your finger on this ribbon while I tie the knot, huh? Yeah, all right. Interesting paper you're using, Catherine. Missalto design. Just put the package over there. No, I think I'll balance it right on top of your head. Ah, Morton. You know what that means? Missalto. Aren't you rushing the season a little? Only three more shopping days. You better put the package down there by the tree. Shucks. See, here's a fancy-looking package. Oh, I think that's the one Mother's giving me. Well, your Mother couldn't wait. You let me shake this. But I can guess what's in it. Now it's rock, Morton. You? Carpella. Oh, dear. Well, isn't that just like your mother? To the dearest girl in the world, Clarence. Clarence! Thought Morton, give me the package. That one isn't for Mother. No, I guess not. Dr. Clarence Olson, the intern, huh? I thought he'd given up. Clarence has been on night duty at the hospital. Well, this boy hasn't been on night duty with my nurse. Well, he hasn't forgotten me. I can hardly wait to open his present. He always thinks of the most original things. Well, I haven't brought you my present yet. I might have to think of something pretty original, too. Really? Give me a hint. A hint? Well... At the hospital, Clarence keeps teasing me about what's in this package. Yeah, he does, doesn't he? All he'll tell me is that it starts with a K for Catherine. Isn't that clever? Well, I guess there's a fine line between being clever and being corny. Dr. Morton, he's very ingenious. In fact, the mistletoe paper was his idea. You was? Mm-hmm. Well, it may have been his idea, but I was the first one who thought of holding it over your head. Yeah... I think. Clever and cut up. You'll have to go him one better. Good morning, Rocky. Good morning, children. Uh... You know, I just... What Christmas present do you think of to start with a letter K? K? Who's the present for, Uncle? A little kid we know spelled K-I-D. Hardly, Leroy. I was thinking about something for a young lady. Oh, you mean me. You will get around to you children later. You know, there's a present under Miss Milford's tree. It starts with a K. I'm trying to figure out what it is. Uh-huh. Leroy, what do you mean, ah-ha? It's Miss Milford's present from Dr. Olson, isn't it? Well, yes. Well, if it's from Dr. Olson, why do you want to know what it is, Uncle? Well, I don't want to give it the same present, Marjorie. Yeah, I'd like to give her something a little better. Well, if it starts with a K, maybe it's a... a Kodak. No, no, it's a pretty big package. Canary? I don't think it's anything alive, Leroy. And as I recall, canary doesn't start with a K. Liking hot coffee, Mr. Gilsleeves? Yeah, thank you, Verdy. Verdy, we're trying to think of some gift a woman would like, starting with a K. Any ideas, Verdy? Well, if it's for a woman, maybe it's something for the kitchen. Yeah, I can't think of anything but the kitchen that starts with a K. Except craft cheese. Ah-ha-ha-ha. I can't think of anything. Maybe it's kisses, Mr. Gilsleeves. Kisses? The candy time, you know. Candy kisses, that's the paper. Dr. Olsen, I wish I'd have thought of giving her something starting with a K for Catherine. Let's see. K. K. Carrot? You could be giving her a diamond. You wouldn't dare. Kettle-rums? Chilts? Yeah, you wouldn't give her those. She'd look cute in them, though. Good morning, girl, then. Well, the Honorable Judge Hooker. Good morning, Horace. You were walking along with a faraway look in your eye. Dreaming of a white Christmas? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, goat. Yeah, I'm going to get an idea about a Christmas present for Miss Milford, Horace. Oh? Well, I came down to hear the craft choral club. They're going to sing around the community Christmas tree here in the square. Oh, yes. Well, let's get a little closer. I've been so worried about Catherine's Christmas present, I almost forgot they were in town. They came all the way from Chicago, girl, then? Yeah, I know, Judge. See, there's a lot of them. You wonder who makes the cheese while they're on tour. Shhh. They're about to change. Ladies and gentlemen, at this Christmas season, it is our pleasure to present the craft choral club under the direction of Gerhard Schroed. They're magnificent. Yeah, they're great, all right, Horace. Great. I think I'll try to find something for Catherine in a hurry and come back. I'll wait here, Gelde. In fact, I may go up and sing with them. You please, not that, Judge. They didn't come all the way from Chicago to find the lost discord. Now, Gelde, wait a minute. They're going to sing again. Nothing like the carols of this time of year. They warn the couples of my heart and send the yuletide spirit coursing through my days. Horace. They've continued his search for a Christmas present in just a moment. Again, this year, as the holiday season approaches, the makers of craft quality foods wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year. During the year now drawing to a close, we have appreciated the confidence you have shown through your purchases in all the fine food products which your grocer has brought to you from craft. You may be sure that craft products will continue to merit your confidence in the future as they have in the past. And that the name craft on any label will continue to be your guide to the very finest in foods. Again, we say merry Christmas and a happy new year to each one of you from all the men and women of craft. Now, back to the great Gelde sleeve. Well, there's a fancy Christmas package under the tree at Catherine Milford's house from Gelde sleeve's rival, Dr. Olson. What's in it? That's what the water conditioner would like to know. Whatever it is, I'll get her something better. He may have the edge on me at the hospital, but by George, I'll beat him under the Christmas tree. He'll go all out. Mr. Gelde sleeve? What can I do for you this afternoon? I'm looking for a Christmas present, P.D., for a lady, something extra special. A gift from Miss Milford, is it? You bet. That sneaky Dr. Olson bought her something that looks pretty nice. But I'm going to go him one better. I'm going to get her something so beautiful and so clever it'll make him look silly. My, my... Any suggestions, P.D.? Well, what does she like? Has she dropped any hints? Not lately. All she talks about is those little kids she takes care of at the hospital. There must be something clever and original I could get for her, P.D.? Now, how about a subscription to Look Magazine? Well... How about a nice set of scales? Women like to weigh themselves, you know. She can weigh herself at the hospital, P.D. Does she like sweetmeats? Sweetmeats? We have some very attractive boxes of candy prunes. Quite helpful, too. No, P.D. How about some nice musical bath salts? No. A ballpoint pen? No. Mr. Gelde sleeve, you're rather hard to play with. The offer. P.D., I've got to get something different. Something original. Are you that plenty of experience at this Christmas thing? That's true. You've been buying Christmas presents for Mrs. P.D. for 20 years? Yes, I have. Well, certainly after all that time, a man should know what it takes to please a woman. No, I wouldn't say that. Oh, my goodness. I can see you're going to be no help at all, P.D. I'm going over to Hogan Brothers. That's a good idea. Happy shopping, Mr. Gelde sleeve. Happy shopping. And these stores. Why does everybody wait for the last minute to buy Christmas? You watch that umbrella, ladies. Photographs, radios, toys. Out on, too, please. You might get her a radio. No, everybody has a radio. Every more original than that if I'm going to beat that slick intern. Christmas won't mean a thing to me unless I outdo it. Well, cute toys up here. Hello, Bertie. What are you doing up here in the toys? Oh, I got a lot of little nieces and nephews I have to buy for. Oh, yeah. They don't have much, so when I show up every Christmas with my arms full of toys, they think I'm some punkin'. Oh, but they do, Bertie. Say, what if I showed up with an arm full of toys for those kiddies at the hospital? Who wants Miss Milford to sew fond of? Them children would think you're some punkin', too, Mr. Gelde sleeve. Well, I guess they would. What's more, I'd be some punkins with Miss Milford, too. Yes, sir. You bet. Nothing I could do that would impress her more. Right, George, this is a great idea we had, Bertie. Click! Click! I want to buy some toys. I also can never top this. I'll walk in on Catherine, pass out these toys to her little kiddies, and tell her this is my Christmas present to her. What can she say? Except that I'm the greatest guy in the world. The kids will get a kick out of it, too. In turn, turn in your suit, your through. This must be the ward. I see some children. Well, hello, little children. Hello. Hello. Where's Miss Milford? She'll be back. She wants to get her orange juice. Well, I'll just put these packages down and wait. Me? Nice and fat. Wait a minute, young fella. I'm sort of a Santa Claus. I brought all these presents to you children. Lucky, he's in a wheelchair. Oh. Well, I'll bring the presents around to your little beds when Nurse Milford comes. I want to open mine. No, no, wait a minute, stuffy. You shouldn't open presents until Christmas. I just want to dream about what's in them. That's the idea, little girl. While we're waiting for Nurse Milford, will you read us a Christmas story? Christmas story? That's what she was doing. Yeah, they're in that book. Well, I like stories. It's the reason for my niece and nephew. Let's see what we have here. Oh, why the chimes rang? By Raymond McDonough. Well, I've been in the hospital longer than you have. Well, let's read it. We don't have much time. Once upon a time, in a faraway country, there was a wonderful church. It stood on a high hill in the midst of a great city. And every Sunday, as well as on sacred days like Christmas, thousands of people climbed the hill to its great archways, looking like lines of ants all moving in the same direction. They're all stop interrupting stuffy. Yes, you must listen stuffy. Now, all the people knew that at the top of the tower was a chime of Christmas bells. They'd hung there ever since the church had been built and were the most beautiful bells in the world. Some described them as sounding like angels far up in the sky. Others as sounding like strange winds singing through the trees. But for many years they had never been heard. Why didn't the bells ring? Well, we're coming to that. It was said that people have been growing less careful of their gifts for the Christ child and that no offering was brought which was fine enough to deserve the music of the chimes. Every Christmas Eve, people still crowded to the altar, each one trying to bring some gift better than any other. Why did you do that? Well, for personal reasons, I guess. They were trying to make a big impression. In a hurry. Oh, yes. Now, a number of miles from the city in a little country village lived a boy named Pedro and his little brother. They'd heard of the service in the church on Christmas Eve and planned to go see the beautiful celebration. Nobody can guess little brother, Pedro would say. All the fine things there are to see and hear. And I have even heard it said that the Christ child sometimes came down to bless the service. What if we could see him? The day before Christmas Pedro and little brother were able to step quietly away. And although the walking was hard in the frosty air, before nightfall they had tried so far, hand in hand that they saw the lights of the big city just ahead of them. They were about to enter one of the great gates in the wall that surrounded it. When they saw something dark on the snow near their path and stepped aside to look at it. What was it? Well, let's see. There by the path was a poor woman who'd fallen in the snow. Too sick and tired to get in where she might have found shelter. Pedro knelt down beside her. You will have to go on alone little brother, he said. Alone cried little brother. But you will not see the Christmas festival. No, said Pedro. And he could not keep back a bit of a choking sound in his throat. See this poor woman. Her face looks like the Madonna in the chapel window. And she will freeze to death if nobody cares for her. But I cannot bear to leave you and go on alone, said little brother. Both of us need not miss the service, said Pedro. And it better be I than you. You can easily find your way to the church. And you must see and hear everything twice, little brother. Once for you, and once for me. And oh, if you get a chance, little brother to slip up to the altar without getting in anyone's way, take this little silver piece of mine and lay it down for my offering when no one is looking. In this way, he hurried little brother off to the city and winked hard to keep back the tears as he heard the crunching footsteps sounding farther and farther away in the twilight. The great church was wonderful that night. When the organ played and the thousands of people sang, the walls shook with the sound. And little Pedro, way outside the city wall, felt the earth tremble around him. At the close of the service came the procession of the offerings to be laid on the altar. Rich men and great men marched proudly up to lay down their gifts to the Christ child. Some brought wonderful jewels, some brought baskets of gold, but the chimes did not ring. And last of all came the king of the country, hoping with all the rest to win for himself the chime of the Christmas bells, the great murmur through the church, that the people saw the king take from his head the royal crown, all set with precious stones, and laid gleaming on the altar as his offering to the holy child. Surely, everyone said, surely we shall hear the bells now for nothing like this has ever happened before, but still only the cold, old wind was heard in the tower. And the people shook their heads, and some of them said as they had said before that they never really believed the story of the chimes and doubted if they ever rang at all. Suddenly everyone looked at the old minister who was standing by the altar holding up his hand for silence. Not a sound could be heard from anyone in the church, but as all the people strained their ears to listen there came softly but distinctly swinging through the air the sound of the chimes in the tower. Yet so clear the music seemed so much sweeter with the notes than anything that had been heard before rising and falling away up there in the sky that the people in the church sat for a moment as still as though something held each of them by the shoulders. Then they all stood up together and stared straight at the altar to see what great gift had awakened the long silent bells. But all that the nears of them saw was a childish figure of little brother who had crept softly down the aisle when no one was looking and it laid Pedro's little piece of silver on the altar. That was a wonderful story. Why did the bells ring when little brother laid the piece of silver on the altar? Well... Why didn't they ring when the great men brought jewels and things? Well, like the book said each one was trying to bring some gift better than any other. Those men were trying to outdo each other. What little Pedro gave out of the goodness of his heart. He didn't have any ulterior motive. Well, I guess that's what I had when I came here. That's no for coming. It is? Yeah. Well, I guess I'll be going. Aren't you going to wait and see our nurse? Where are you going, mister? Well, I think I'll sneak out this side door. Well, that's not important anymore. Merry Christmas. Five o'clock. I didn't know the hospital had chance. Portions of the proceeding program were transcribed. It's Groucho Marx and...