 ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجًا لتسكنوا إليها الحمد لله رب العالمين له الحمد الحسن والثناء الجميل وأشد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له يقول الحق وهو يهدي السبيل وشدوا أن سيدنا ونبينا محمد صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وأصحابه والتابعين لهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين أما بعد نحن نأخذ فوتي أحديث of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمة في مجموعة مجموعة في إجادة أن تكون مجموعة مجموعة أن تكون مجموعة نبدأ بألعب حواليات مجموعة ما الذي يتحدث عن فوتي ومن المتحدةه صلى الله عليه وسلمة ونطلق على ما كان يتحدث عن مجموعة من الملعب ومن الملعب في which he صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلى آله وما يقولنا أن لا يوجد أحد يمكننا أن يتعبوا مجموعة من الملعب أفضل من الله وحياته صلى الله عليه وسلم المملك first chapter that we covered and we spoke about and we mentioned two حديث in that chapter was الأحديث الواردة في الترغيب في زواج حديث that's are pertaining to getting married that the sharia eyees us to get married it informs us of the qualities of marriage and the good that it has لدينا أعوام أدوان في هذا الشرطة ونحن نتحدث عن الحديث الواريدة في حصن الاختيار حديث that are speaking about choosing the right spouse , finding the right spouse the sister finding the right husband and the husband finding the right wife نتحدث عن هذا ، الثلاثة is what we were in ونحن في هذا الشرطة ، هناك what 5 حديث وفي الثلاثة الشرطة هو الحديث الواريدة حديث that have come pertaining to الأمور التي تسبقوا عقد النكه ، الأشياء التي يذهبون before marriage before you get married what are the things that one should do لذلك ما نتحدث عنه قبل هو 3 حديث ، نتحدث عنه 3 حديث وفي الثلاثة الثلاثة نتحدث عنه سبباً about the issue of looking at the individual you're getting married to وهذا كان هذا for the brothers who want to get married the thing that they should do is to look at the woman in which they are getting married to and that this is from one of the things that يجب أن تحصل على المتحدة ، إن شاء الله يتعالى الثلاثة حديث من هذا الشرطة وهي الثلاثة حديث من هذا الشرطة but it's the seventh حديث when we count it from the beginning how many حديث have we taken it is استخارة means it is to solicit the will of Allah سبحانه وتعالى it is to solicit the will of Allah سبحانه وتعالى الإمامة ومسلم narrated in الصحيح on the authority of ربي الله تعالى عنه أن أسaid لما انقضت عدة زينابة when Zaynab's عدة was over her duration after the divorce in which her previous husband Zaid could take her back when he had finished meaning he cannot take her back now when he had finished the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم has said to Zaid the prophet said to Zaid رضي الله تعالى عنه فذكرها عليه mention me to Zainab go and tell Zainab that I am interested in her the prophet said this عليه الصلاة والسلام فانطلق زيد زيد went حتى أتاها أن توه سوها وهي تخمر عجينها and she was she was in the middle of making the yeast she was placing the yeast into the bread and he came and he saw her he said فلما رأيتها وانها سوها and I saw her عضمت في صدري the matter became heavy on my chest because he was a man who was previously married to her but because the ridda was over and it finished anyone now can marry her he now Zaid is like the rest of the men out there anyone can now go and get married to her and then he said it became big to me حتى ما أستطيع أن أنظر إليها to the extent I wasn't able to look at her and tell her أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ذكرها and that the prophet mentioned her فوليتها ظهري he said I turned away from her I showed her my back came back when I turned away I went back on my heels again and I went to her and I said to her يا زي نب أو زي نب صلى الله عليه وسلم the messenger sent me يذكرو كي and he's mentioning you meaning he's interested in you now look what زينا برضي الله تعالى عنها said and the response that she gave she said ما أنا بصاني عاكي I am not one that's going to do شيئا ما أتا meaning what you have told me I am not going to do anything I'm not going to take it forward حتى أمرا ربي حتى أمرا ربي until I solicit the will of my Lord until I pray my استقارة I'm not taking this forward زينا بيقول هذا and who is the person who is who is interested in her who is the person who wants to get married to her this is the best man who ever walked on the face of this earth but she's still saying I'm doing my استقارة فقامت إلى مسجدها she stood up in her messages and she prayed ونزل القرآن with the Qur'an came down and the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم he came to her فدخل عليها he entered onto her بغير إذنين without any permission meaning the prophet didn't require a guardian's permission عليه الصلاة والسلام so what is it that we take from this hadith and what is it that one she do that is my beloved brothers and sisters that it is recommended highly recommended and this is بإجماع الفقها it's a unanimous agreement of the فقها that it's recommended for the man or the woman before they get married that they pray استقارة that they consult الله سبحانه وتعالى and that they what they solicit الله تبارك وتعالى so what is it استقارة my beloved brothers and sisters استقارة it means it is supplicating it is requesting good from Allah your way that is what استقارة means it is that you supplicate to Allah سبحانه وتعالى and what you ask from him is to bring good your way that is what you are you are just استقارة so the استقارة my beloved brothers and sisters العلام ابن تيمى رحمه الله he said something he said something and he says no one ever regrets ابن تيمى يقول this he said no one ever regrets if they pray the استقارة and if they consult the creation it doesn't ever regret if he comes with the استقارة we'll talk about the conditions for the استقارة to be accepted the things that you need to do and then consulting the creation who from the creation every كل من هدب ودب everybody no you consult the أهل الرأي the people of good opinions the people of عقل the people of righteousness and piety you consult them to see their opinion of what they think of this matter and that is what Allah said to the Prophet what did he say because he combined between the two in one آية ابن تيمى بقوة that straight away he said بما رحمة من الله لينت لهم ولو كنت فضّاً غليض القلبي لن فضّوا من حوله فعطوا عنهم وستغفر لهم وشاورهم في الأمر فإذا عالي فإذا عزمت فتا وقل على الله الله يقول إذا لم يكن للمسيب الله فبما رحمة من الله لينت لهم إذا لم يكن للمسيب الله أنك أحد who was soft towards your companions أنك أنسيب who is very soft ولو كنت وإن أنك أحد فضّاً غليض القلبي whose heart whose heart was very hard the companions they would run away from your circle and your gathering they would never want to spend a minute with you then الله goes to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم لينت لهم ولو كنت فضّاً غليض القلبي لن فضّوا من حوله فعفوا عنهم forgive them وستغفر لهم ask forgiveness for them you forgive them and ask forgiveness for them and then الله goes وشاورهم consult consult them consult and this is the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم who has been supported who has been aided with the revelation الله is telling him consult your companions look what he said after that فإذا عزمته once you've made your decision based on the consultation فتوقّل على الله he rely on Allah which is to pray your استخارة your decision rely on Allah ask Allah to bring the best one out of it so the individual who wants to get married those are the two things that they need to do and if you tell me that if you do it you don't regret you go to the wise but you take the advice you pray your استخارة my beloved brothers and sisters استخارة many people have misunderstood the concept of استخارة and what they thought استخارة is that you're gonna have a dream or you're gonna you're going to have this gut feeling that it's not right and that isn't necessary the case all the time rather that is not the majority of the cases استخارة my beloved brothers and sisters is once you've made your decision and you've consulted the wise individuals and you've now embarked or wanted to go forward with it and you've consulted Allah you have you've prayed your استخارة on it you pursue what you wanted you go forward you don't stop you don't you don't stop you carry on and you do you do your your drive and what you're looking for whatever you whatever is that you want you you carry on now the استخارة will come in place and the استخارة that you've you've solicited الله تبارك وتعالى you've consulted the creations who the wise ones الله will make it not take place it will stop it will go forward one way or another الله تبارك وتعالى will prevent you from it if it wasn't good and if it doesn't happen it was a sign that it wasn't good for you and if it does happen it was a sign that it was good for you that is how it works brothers and sisters استخارة shows عبودي servitude it shows that we you believe that you don't have control over your affairs that it's in the hands of الله تبارك وتعالى that Allah is فعال اللي ما you read He does whatever He wills and that you're truly in belief of the ayah وعنده مفاتح الغيب لا يعلمها إلا هو that the keys of the unseen are in His hands سبحانه وتعالى ويعلم ما في البر والبحر وما تسقط من ورقة إلا يعلمها ولا حبت في ظلمات الأرض ولا رطب ولا يابس إلا في كتاب المبيد that He's the one who knows every single thing His knowledge has encompassed everything He knows what has happened He knows what is happening He knows what is to happen in the future He knows what hasn't happened if it was to happen the way it would have happened سبحانه وتعالى So the slave has shown عبودية servitude that I am a slave and there's a master above me and this is the beauty of استخارة So this is important that a person keeps that in mind and once Allah sees that from you سبحانه وتعالى you insha'Allah وتعالى are going to receive the good that you're looking for ولي ذلك الله says وإذا سألك عبادي عني فإني قريب أجيب دعوة داعي لدعاً Allah is close and He accepts the dua of the one who asks and the one who calls onto Him the Prophet said إن الله حيي وكريم Allah is one who is shy Allah is one who is generous الله is shy that a slave lifts his hands up in the air إذا رفع إليه عبد ونيدة that a slave lifts his hands up in the air أن يروته مصفر أن الله rejects your hands and doesn't give you what you want الله is too shy for that to do that to you سبحانه وتعالى He's one who wants you to lift your hands so He can pour everything in there for you and to give you what you're looking for and what you want Some people brothers and sisters will come up to you and say to you I pray to استخارة they actually have misunderstood that the استخارة is not only once the استخارة is not necessarily once rather it shouldn't only be once it should be more than once you know why الله تبارك وتعالى loves the dua which is إلحاح the dua that the slave keeps going on and on and on have you all not read صورة أليه عمران the ending how many times do the slaves say ربنا أولوت after so many times of saying ربنا أولوت أولوت أولوت أولوت الله tells us in the last page فستجبنا we accepted we took on board الله سبحانه وتعالى in obeying their supplication accepting it from them so the slave is one who is what who keeps going on and تكرار repeating the dua and asking الله تبارك وتعالى it is very important also my beloved brothers and sisters the استخارة is تورقة the first raka'a is a sunnah to read قولي أهي والكافرون and the second raka'a the person reads the صورة الإخلاص قلوا الله أحد the person lifts her hands up and they beg الله تبارك وتعالى the dua that they make in the استخارة and they ponder and they think over the dua that they are making and what they are asking for إن شاء الله تعالى I will mention the description of what the person the supplication that the person makes and I'm going to show you how it is a dua that shows servitude and how powerful this dua is that many people don't ponder over also my beloved brothers and sisters many people they forget that the importance of having previously asked for forgiveness before you make the استخارة لذلك a lot of people have committed sins they've eaten haram and that haram is still with them and then they lift their hands up in supplication begging الله تبارك وتعالى asking but in reality الله does not accept the dua of a person who has whose hands are still dripping from haram and the person has to repent from that when making the استخارة the repenters will then eradicate and get rid of everything that had taken place before that because the Prophet said the one who repents from his sin and his shortcomings is like a person who has never done a mistake is like he never sinned at all so you repent from what you've done before and the haram that you fell into and you stand in front of Allah as a person who has repented fully then when you lift your hands up when you lift your hands up it becomes a supplication which الله سبحانه وتعالى will accept it from you إن شاء الله وتعالى also another thing that people tend to forget is when they make the استخارة they forget that they have to come with the most powerful or one of the most أفضل about that which is تواقل رلايان صلى الله عليه وسلم some people say I made the draw and nothing happened look at me I mean look look look the fact that you have not shown reliance on Allah and you're not relying fully on him is one of the reasons why you're not getting what you want so you have to be a person who has تواقل you know الله تبارك وتعالى is dealing with your affairs you know الله تبارك وتعالى and know what's good for you and what you need and what you're in need of the صلاة الاستخارة it is done as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told his companions by the following دعاء the Prophet said if one of you wishes to do a matter the Prophet said so then الاستخارة should be not some people say to you should I pay استخارة can I just make this application not pray تورقة no because the Prophet specifically said he should do record many should pray من غير فريضة these two cannot be the obligative prayer they have to be separate sunnah by itself ثم يقول then the person should say اللهم او الله اني استخيرك او الله انا اخبرت from you جيد to be brought my way with what لكن بعلمك with your knowledge واستت تديرك بقدرتك او الله in your ability in your power in your strength I ask from you to aid me and support me واسألوك من فضلك العظيم and I ask from your great virtue I ask from your great virtue فإنك تقدر because you have the ability you have the ability ولا اقدر انا يحبنوا ability my ability is limited it is restricted الله's ability is not restricted no one can restrict his ability سبحانه وتعالى brothers الله is if he wants something he will do it no one can stop him but you can you're limited you're weak وتعلم ولا اعلم I know so so you know and I don't know your knowledge is above my my capacity of understanding I don't know if this is good for me I don't know if it's good for me but you do know this is what وتعلموا و الله you know ولا اعلم I don't know و انت علام الرويوب and you know the unseen now pay attention the word ريوب is used which is غيب unseen but it's not unseen to Allah it's to you that's why the word علم الغيب when you hear it don't think yourself it's unseen to Allah no it's to you for him everything is seen everything is ظاهر it's apparent to him سبحانه وتعالى so oh Allah you know and I don't know so later when you made your استخارة I stopped complaining if you've admitted that Allah knows and you don't know then surrender why are you huh why are you not relying on him اللهم او الله ان كنت تعلم if you if you know for me in this situation ان هذا الامر خير that this matter is good for me if you know good in this for me in good for what لكن الله my beloved brother and sister is ponder because a lot of people are doing استخارة and they don't ponder on what they're making استخارة on خير لي it is good for me in what fast في ديني my religion number one a sister is making استخارة if she can go to a company to work for them on a miniskirt she's paying استخارة and she's saying خير لي في ديني in my religion this goes clearly against the دعاء and the استخارة that you're making او الله if there is good in it for my religion we can I'll tell you that now it's not good for you in your religion does it make sense my beloved brother and sister it is not then you have to take off your hijab the same to the brother then the company are telling you you're not going to pray صلاه and he is saying خير لي في ديني if it's good in it for my religion now you and your brothers but this one you're talking about if it's something that's حلال a job that allows you but then it might be a cause for you to leave your religion because you might run after money or what not or it's a sister you're going to get married to and she's going to cause you to what شغلتنا أموالنا our money and our أهلونا and our family to visit us from the remembrance of Allah maybe she might be like that for you and cause a harm to your religion or the vice versa a sister might lose her religion because of her husband so oh Allah if you know in this for me خير لي في ديني good in my religion for me وما عاشي second comes my life my my risk my food my living and then what وعقبة to amri and my final ending my final moments or عاجلي امري وعاجلي or in my delayed matters or my early destined matters meaning in my worldly affairs or my hereafter is basically if you know خير in all of that for me so it's خير in my religion in my life whether that life is this this world or the hereafter there's خير in it for me فاقدوره لي او الله make it happen for me ويسيره لي make it easy for me ثم بارك لي فيه and put باركل in it for me او الله وإن كنت تعلم او الله او الله if you know انه هذا الأمر اشهر لي if you know there is evil in this اشو in it for me في ديني in my religion there is evil in my religion my religion is going to be tainted my worldly affairs is also going to be harmed also my final ending my worldly affairs and my hereafter all of it is going to be harmed فاصريف وعن او الله divert me from it get rid of it from me I don't want it وصرف مي عنه divert it from me and divert me from it divert it from me and divert me from it وقدر and you don't just stop there but what do you say او الله وقدر لي الخيرا always destined for me good حيث كانا where everything it is ثم بارك لي and then be pleased with it for me then the person mentions at this particular point what is it that they want what is it that they are the hajja the Prophet ﷺ he said وَاَيُسَمْ يَحَجَةَهُ وَتَبَسَنْ نَيْمْسْ what they're looking for and what is it that they want if it's married if it's something they mentioned it so this the understanding of the hadith itself gives you a proper understanding of what is it that you're doing and what is the istighar all about so it's important that all of the are kept in mind this is just a small explanation on this issue of an istighar and my beloved brother and sisters والله istighar is one of the things that a great successful marriage comes from and if a person prays this with its correct way and they pray it as it should be done with all of those points that I mentioned and that I said if a person notes them down and there are many more like if they keep that in mind لا شكة ولا ليب it will be and it's and insha'Allah تعالى it's a means for them to be accepted for it to be accepted from them there are no doubt they're married or whatever it is that the person is looking for that's going to become خير from it istighar my beloved brother and sisters as some people have misunderstood and it's a common common misconception is as though the istighar is sufficient for you to get what you want or for it to divert you from what it is that's not just it it's like any other dua you have to come with the asbab the means الأخذ بالاسباب once you come with the istighar doesn't mean you sit around and you say إن شاء الله if she's good for me it will just come no you need to do your homework by also going and looking at the woman you can't say the istighar suffices me I don't even need to see how she looks لا الأخذ بالاسباب الأخذ بالاسباب you are also finding out about her family and the structure of her family and you're going in and you're asking people about her and what type of person is she you're doing your homework and the same to the sister she's doing her homework in finding about who the brother is and what is he about and what does he do etc the istighar does not negate الأخذ بالاسباب taking the means my beloved brother and sisters so إن شاء الله إتعالى I'm going to stop at this حديد for today's إن شاء الله إتعالى session of secrets I'm a secret ways of how a person can gain a successful marriage I hope you've benefited from it إن شاء الله إتعالى سبحانك الله من بحمدك أشدوا الله إلهي الله استغفرك واتوب إلي