 When you see the narcissist after the breakup, when you see the narcissist after you've left them or they left you, it might be a few months after the discard phase or even a few years, you're out somewhere and you see them. When this happens, there are a few ways that they might respond and this will depend on the type of narcissist you are dealing with and also if you've managed to heal since you were with them. When you see the narcissist after the breakup and you're still going through it, it's only been a few weeks or few months, you still feel attached to them. They are going to take advantage of this situation. It is not going to affect them emotionally. It's not going to hurt them to see you again because narcissists don't experience emotional attachment. They are unable to experience feelings of closeness and affection and that is why they have difficulty sustaining meaningful relationships. That is why it was so easy for them to leave you as though you never meant anything to them because they were never attached to you. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They cannot share your experience. They cannot understand you so it was only natural that you were going to grow apart but they're not just going to let you move on gracefully. Many narcissists will stalk and harass you. They will show up at your home, work or places where they know you are going to be because although they cannot emotionally attach to you, they feed off your attachment to them. It regulates their emotions and boosts their self-esteem. It makes them feel as though they are worth something. In their minds, if you are interested in them, that means they must be something special. Because they see you as being special, they know just how great you are. They just act it indifferent to control you and that is why they will desperately try to feed off any attention or admiration you give to them. Especially if they see you after the breakup, many narcissists will dress up just for you and do their hair just the way you like it and then show up where they know you're going to be. It's all just to get your attention. They have this insatiable need for attention but one person's attention is never going to be enough for them. When you see the narcissist after the breakup, they may show interest in you, they may act like they want to get back with you but it's all an act. They cannot experience emotional attachment and they do not value loyalty or commitment. Which is why they were able to leave you at the drop of a hat. They were able to leave you as though you never meant anything to them because they never had any interest in you as a person. They have no interest in anyone as a person. They don't even see people as people. We are all just objects to the narcissist. Things that they can use for their own benefit or gain if they believe that you may have a useful purpose to them. They will take advantage of that but if you're still in the same condition as when they left you, they're just going to string you along. They will try to make you believe that they're interested in you but really it's just to feed off your attention. To make themselves feel like they're something desirable or attractive because people are just objects they use to elevate themselves. How the narcissist will react to you after the breakup depends on how the relationship ended. If there were other people involved, the narcissist is going to be less likely to contact you. Although the narcissist may value their sources of supply, nothing is more important to them than their image and reputation. Everything they do is determined by how it will look to other people. In many situations towards the end of the relationship, the narcissist will have enforced flying monkeys and started a smear campaign against you. So even if they wanted to come back to you, it would be very difficult for them to do that. It's like they've cut off their nose despite their face. They've locked themselves into an undesirable situation because while you may have healed and put yourself in a better position and they may see you as more desirable and attractive now, if they were to come back to you, it would look bad on them. Because while you were away, they were playing the victim and telling everyone that you did all of these horrible things to them. They made you out to be a monster. So if they were to come back to you now, that would mean that everything they said was a lie. That would mean that you weren't as bad as they made you out to be. And it would make them look like a liar. The fact that you've moved on and done better without them already makes them look bad. If they were to try to come back to you, that would make them look really stupid. And they know this. They'll stay ghost. You might see them out somewhere, but they'll avoid eye contact. They won't even talk to you because they have to trick themselves into believing their own lies to defend their image of reputation. And deep down they know that you don't really want them. They know that no one would really want them if they were to know everything they did with you. And that is why they hold on to their false sense of pride so strongly. That is why no matter what is going on in their lives, no matter where they're at, they have to act like they're better than you. They have to act like they're doing better without you. Because it's either that, or they let you see the real broken mess that's inside of them. And that's just something that no narcissist is going to do. They cannot be vulnerable with anyone. They cannot experience an emotional attachment. And that is why it was so easy for them to leave you. They acted so cold towards you because in their minds that's a sign of strength. That means that they're strong. When really they're only acting that way because they feel weak. They put up a wall to protect themselves. When it is that wall that prevents them from discovering who they really are. It is that wall that prevents them from ever maturing emotionally. From ever establishing a deep emotional connection, love and intimacy. It is the reason why they will remain stuck in that condition for the rest of their lives. When you see the narcissist after the breakup. They might string you along and make you believe that they want to get back with you. But deep down they know that someone like them does not belong with someone like you. They know that you are a higher caliber of person. And that is why they always felt so uncomfortable around you. They targeted you because of your qualities and abilities. Because they believed you were something great. But it was those qualities and abilities that later made them feel inferior to you. It made them reflect on their feelings of worthlessness and insignificance. And in their minds you were responsible for those feelings. You made them feel that way. Which is why they spend the rest of the relationship competing with you. They become very bitter and resentful towards you. They are very insecure and feel uncomfortable around people who they perceive to be superior to them. They are more comfortable around people who are on their level. At least then there is no threat to their false sense of worth. But that is also what keeps them stuck in a position where there is no growth with development. In a position where there is no happiness or satisfaction. Because they end up trapping themselves around other people. Who share the same thoughts, feelings and ideas. Other people who are bitter and resentful. Which again is only holding them back in life. Everything these people attached to is only holding them back. While everything they walked away from. Everything they felt uncomfortable around. Was the only hopeful opportunity that they had. But due to their pride and arrogance. They throw away opportunities. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. Which is really just a coping and defence mechanism. How they really feel about themselves. They live in a fantasy world where all they can do is pretend. But when they do find something that's real. They act like they're above it. Or they act like they don't see it. When secretly. That's all they've ever wanted. That's what they've been waiting for all along. The problem is. That realness belongs to you. And that is why they are so mad. That is why they become so bitter and resentful. So competitive. That is why they will only ever feel comfortable. Around people who are just like them. Birds of a feather flock together. They know where they belong. And anything they extract from you. They will only take it back to where they belong. They're not going to try to build anything with you. Because they already know it's a hopeless situation. They know they're always going to feel uncomfortable around you. Because they're insecure. And they know that they're always going to be comparing themselves to you. To co-exist with you. They would have to let go of their pride and arrogance. They would have to forget about what people might think about the situation. They would have to value connection over their image of reputation. They would have to choose you over their false self. And that's just something no narcissist is going to do. Thank you for watching. I hope this video has made it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. Check out the new website www.narksviver.co.uk If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at coachingatnarksviver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.