 Okay, so you want him to feel emotionally addicted to being around you so that he can't stop thinking about you. He loves being with you. He can't wait to see you again. And he thinks about you as the first thing that he does when he wakes up in the morning and the last thing that he does before he goes to bed at night. Today, I'm going to tell you exactly what to say and do in order to make a man feel addicted to you. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you want my whole system, you can get my whole system for free. Just go over to the foreverwomanformula.com and pick up a copy. It'll teach you all about how to attract and keep a man who really loves you and sees you and cherishes you. So the foreverwomanformula.com, go check it out. So I want you to think about the idea of gambling. When somebody gambles, they get addicted to it because sometimes they're winning, sometimes they're losing, sometimes they're losing and then they win, sometimes they win and then they lose. And that is something that I call the principle of unpredictability. By the way, if you're with us right now, make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from because it's really cool to see all these women all over the world watching these live streams. And so the gambling idea here, the idea of unpredictability, what it does is it creates unresolved emotional tension and it keeps them in suspense and then there's a resolution to it. And that is what creates attraction. That's what creates addiction in a human being. And so that's what we're going to be talking. I'm going to show you exactly how to do that today. And the technique that you're going to be using to do this is something called push-pull. Maybe you've heard of this before. I'm going to teach you exactly how to use push-pull in order to create addiction in a guy. And so push-pull is push, right, which is pushing away from you. And pull is pulling him in. So you can just think of pushing and pulling. And that's just in the physical sense, but we're also going to be talking about it in other senses as well. And you're going to get a full understanding of what this really means. And so this is supposed to be a fun and playful technique. So I want to remind you of that. So love is playful and fun. It's not serious. If you're really serious, when you're doing this, there's something wrong and you shouldn't be doing it in a serious manner. This is fun. You're taking him on an emotional roller coaster ride. It's going to be a lot of fun for him. It's going to be a lot of fun for you. And so it's basically like giving him a taste of something that's really good and then pulling him away from him. Or you're never going to get this and then giving him a little bit of a taste of it. And so that's the emotional roller coaster ride. It's like this up and down motion. It's this taste. You're getting it. It's fun. It's safe. It's scary. It's exciting. You're taking him through a roller coaster of emotions. And there's three types that I'm going to be talking to you about today. The first one is verbal push-pull. The second one is combination. And the third one is a macro level. And so real quick, I want to go over some mistakes that women make when they're doing this. The first one is going too much to an extreme with it. Because this can make him think that you're completely insane. Or it can make him feel like he doesn't really like you and you're too crazy. And he doesn't want to be around you if you're too extreme. You don't want to be too extreme. You also don't want to insult him. You don't want to get too personal. You don't want to be disrespectful with it. And you don't want to do it all the time. Like I said, if it's too much, if you're doing it too much, if it's too high and too low. If you're always doing it, he's just going to think you're a crazy person. And he's not going to be able to deal with it. And he's going to feel like you guys are going to be fighting all the time. And so you don't want to do that. You want to do it fun. You want to do it playful. And you want to do it sparingly. At first, you can do it a little bit more. But over time, you want to do it a little bit more sparingly. It's a fun, flirty, teasing, playful technique that you do. And you'll get a little bit of a better sense of it here in a second. You also don't want to do this to get back at him with something or about something. It'll just make you look desperate. Trust me. Don't try doing that. And you also don't want to do this if you have no social intelligence, right? So if you're not aware of what's going on with him or what you're doing, or you're completely like socially kind of not aware and not really adjusted, you probably don't want to do it or you want to do it to a very, very small amount or do it very sparingly. Okay. So let's talk about it. So the first one is verbal push-pull. And so the first way that you're going to do this is, so this is the actual verbal technique of doing it. So you can do it with a lot of different things. And the one that I'm giving you is about coffee or tea. So the way that you do it is you go, important question, coffee or tea. And then he answers whatever he answers. And you look at him and you go, oh, you're one of those people, right? And then you go just, and if he says what you like, then you go, just kidding. I like that too. Right? And so basically you're doing this thing, right? You're creating these emotions, right? You're going into serious land where you're like, important question, coffee or tea. And he answers. And then you're like, oh, you know, like, and basically it's like a little bit over exaggerated. You can do it where it's not over exaggerated as well. Where you're like, oh, okay. You're one of those people, right? And so basically it's the push, right? You're doing the push. And then if you like it as well, you go, oh, just kidding. I like it too. Right? And so it's, it's, you're letting him know that you're joking. And whenever you do push-pull and if you feel like, maybe you might be going a little bit too much into serious land, you can always say, just kidding. Right? I'm just kidding with that. I'm just kidding, right? Because sometimes I like to make jokes a lot. And sometimes I'll run into people and they won't understand my humor, especially if they're not from where I'm from. And so sometimes I'll have to say, hey, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding with that. Right? So that they understand that I'm joking. And so that's, that's a great way to relieve tension is just to say, just kidding. Just kidding. Right? I like it too. You're like, just kidding. I like it too. Or you could also say if you're like, hey, you know, important question, coffee or tea. And he's like, coffee and you like tea and you're like, coffee really? No, it's okay. It's okay. We can still be friends. I just, I won't tell anybody about your poor life choices. Right? And so you're messing with him. Right? And it's kind of this playful kind of banter that you're, you have going on. So you're asking them a question. And, and one of the things, one of the reasons why this works well, especially with ideas like coffee or tea or other things that are not like really important questions is it's, you're doing it. It's a joke. Right? Obviously you don't really care that he likes coffee and you like tea or whatever the scenario is, or that he, he likes coffee and you think that he should like tea or whatever it is, because it's not a very serious topic. And so it's a fun, playful thing. And you're talking about something that's not really important, but you're still kind of messing with him. And the reason why there's a whole bunch of psychological reasons why this works. One is it shows that you're not putting him on a pedestal because you're willing to mess with him. If you saw a guy and you're really totally in love with him and you're like, Oh my God, this is the most amazing man I've ever met in my life. You're not going to mess with them like that. And so a guy knows when you're messing with him that you're not putting him on a pedestal. And so it kind of raises your value in his eyes because you're like, hey, we're on an even playing field because I'm comfortable enough with you to mess with you. And so there's that. There's the emotional roller coaster that you take him through. And so like I said, you do this playfully. And if you take it too far, you can always say just kidding. Just kidding. I like it too. Okay, we can still be friends. I just won't tell anybody about your poor life choices. I'm just, I'm just messing with you. I'm just kidding. You can do that if, if he, if either he, you can tell he's not getting the joke, right? Or, or if you just kind of aren't sure, you can always do that. So here's another one. Here's the second example. You're doing, has anyone ever told you you have a really evil smile and it's kind of hot, right? And so basically what you're doing here is you're, you're like, hey, has anybody ever told you you have a really evil smile and it's kind of like this ambiguous kind of like is, is she, is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? But it's kind of got this slightly like bad thing to it because it's evil. And then you're like, it's kind of hot, right? And so basically what it's saying is that you like it. And so it's, it's created that tension and then you're relieving it, right? And that's, that's the kind of, that's what you're going to be seeing here with the verbal push-pull is you create the tension and then you relieve it. And it creates kind of this emotional effect that you have. And like I said, you don't want to do all these things all at the same time. You, you want to space them out. And so here's another one that you can use. You're such a nerd, right? You can be like, oh man, you're such a nerd and I kind of like it. And so again, you're doing, you're saying something that's kind of ambiguous as to what you're meaning. It could be good. It could be bad. A lot of times people are like, you know, you're such a nerd, right? Like it's kind of this bad thing. You're such a nerd. And then you have this kind of pause in it. They call it a pregnant pause. And then you say, and I kind of like it, right? And so you're, it's the pull. It's the pull in. So it's kind of the push and then the pull. And so the, this is what flirting is like. This is what teasing is like. It's fun. It's playful. And it's kind of this push-pull thing that you're doing here. And it's fun. It creates the emotional rollercoaster, it tells him that you're not taking things seriously. You're, you're in this fun, playful mood and you're not putting him on a pedestal. So another one that you can do and is if, if you're like really savvy and you're like, you're like, hey, I want to approach this guy over here. And you know, he's hanging out, but he's alone on his phone or something. And I know, I know a lot of women are, we've been having this debate in the community about, should you, should you approach guys, should you not approach guys? I'm, if you're in a situation where you don't think this guy's going to approach you and you really want to go and talk to him, I'm of the opinion that it's totally okay and totally cool. Because I mean, what do you really have to lose? You know, if he says no, it's like, okay, well, it wasn't going to happen anyway. And if he starts talking to you, then it's really awesome. So if you approach him and he's on his phone, you can always say something like, hey, you're not allowed to be on your phone in here. Right. And basically you're, you're like, the reason it's funny is because you're, there's almost no scenario, unless you're like at work or something. There's almost no scenario where you're going to be somewhere where he's not allowed to be on his phone. And sometimes if you come up and you're really serious about it, and you're like, hey, hey, you're not allowed to be on your phone in here. Right. Like, what will happen is he might even think it's serious and be like, whoa, what, you know, like what's going on? And then you just smile, right. And you go, I'm just messing with you. Right. Or you can just say, I was just joking. I'm just messing with you. But if you say, I think you're cute. Right. Basically you're showing him some interest and you're doing that poll. And so that's the push poll. Right. That's the verbal push poll. As you do something and it could be ambiguous, it might be a little bit of a push. And then you do a poll and with it as well. And the more that you get better at it, the more you can just push and you don't even have to worry about the poll. Unless, unless you notice that you need that poll in there. And that's where kind of that social calibration thing comes in. But you can just do the push sometimes and it's fun. But you want to have that poll in there and you want to mix it up sometimes when you're doing push and pull. So that's the verbal stuff. If, if you're, if you, if you're, if you get what I'm talking about right now, say I get it in the chat. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, ask a question in the chat. I will answer all the questions at the end. So let me know. So we're going to, the next one is the combination. First one was verbal push-pull. Second one is combination push-pull. So with combination push-pull, the one that I'm going to teach you is you're going to physically pull him in while verbally pushing him away. So that's what it's going to be. Is it's a combination of physical and verbal and with the physical, you're going to be pulling them in and with your verbal, you're going to be pushing them away. And so here's what this looks like. When you pull him in close, you pull him in close and you go, I hate you so much right now. Right. And so you're like, you can do it when you're hugging and you're just like, I just, I just hate you so much right now. Right. And the reason the place that you do this is like if he's been messing with you or he's got to leave or whatever. Right. You can have any reason to hate him right now. And so again, you want to make sure it's playful. You're being playful with it. Right. You're not like, I hate you right now. You're like, I hate you so much right now. Like, do you really have to leave? Right. Or whatever, whatever the scenario is, right? You're, it's a tease. You're, you're doing the playfulness. You're, you're pulling him in, but you're verbally pushing him away. I hate you so much right now. And you notice that the, I also said another poll right after that, which is, do you have to leave right now? Do you really have to leave? Right. Which is kind of a poll because you just pushed him away and then there's a poll. And you can do a combination of these things where you do them on top of each other one after another and you're pushing and pulling and it's, and it's kind of this emotional thing. And, and it kind of confuses him because you're like pulling him in clothes, but you're like telling him you hate him and he's like, wait a second, what's going on here? Right. And so you're like kind of messing with his emotions there. And again, you're, you're, you're showing him that, that he's not too much on a pedestal for you to mess with them. So another example, let's do another example. And so the next example is, so you, okay. So this one's actually a, yeah. So, so you're going to do the verbal, you're going to do the verbal poll. And this is a combination of a verbal and a physical push away. And so what you do is you go, I like you way too much right now. You just get, just get away from me, right? And you kind of like push him away, push him away. And then you're, and then you can also come back and go, you know what, no, no, no, come back over here. I like, I like talking to you. Right. And so you're doing this kind of messing with him thing where you're, you're pushing him away, you're pulling him in, you're pulling him in, and then you're pushing him away. And that's, that's the whole thing. That's why they call it push, pull. And that's what you're doing here. And the, the best way to kind of get good at this is to just practice it and even like come up, take some of these things and just think about it and say it and just, you know, think about it when you're, before you do it and then you do it. And it's just fun. It's fun and playful. And it's, it's enjoyable. You'll like it. And like I said, if he's not, then there's, you're doing something wrong. And you can always say, just kidding. And let's say that you've been dating for a little bit and you pull him in and you kiss him. And you're like, you should go. You should, you should get out of here. Right. And so you're like pulling him in. You're kissing him, but you're verbally telling him that he should leave. You're like, get out. You have to get out of here. Like you, you need to go. You need to go right now and you just like pull him in and hug him. And you're like, oh, get out of here. You know, and then you pull him back in and that's, that's push, pull. Right. And it kind of plays with his emotions and it makes him feel all these different things. And so, yeah. And so the last one, the last way to do it. And again, I just wanted to mention if you want my full system for how to attract a great guy into a great relationship, make sure that you go to the foreverwomanformula.com and check out getting my program there for free. So the last one is macro push, pull. And so this is if you're taking it to a higher level and there's, there's other kind of ways to do push, pull and maybe I'll do some videos and some stuff on that later. But macro level is thinking about it on a little bit of a higher level, almost like hot, cold, but not quite as extreme as that. And so what you do is you're on a date and so again, when we're talking about pushing, we're talking about like pushing them away or being disinterested and then pull as in kind of like pulling them towards you or being interested. And so what you do on a date is you go and you're leaning forward and you're listening and you're talking and you're talking and you're really engaged and you just love what he's doing and then, you know, maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes, half an hour into it, you start leaning back and you're like hanging out and just kind of listening to him and you're showing less interest in him and you're letting him talk more and just allowing him to have that conversation and then maybe later you're kind of moving in forward again and showing more interest and talking to him more, right? And being more engaged and stuff. And so that's kind of what it is on a little bit of a higher level and you can do that throughout the date, right? And it kind of, in his mind when he's watching this, right? Because guys, a lot of times, especially if they've learned any dating advice which a lot of guys have out there, right? I was talking to this guy today actually who I've been working with on doing some business related stuff as far as marketing with my business and he was telling me how he was involved in the dating industry a long time ago and I meet people all the time, guys all the time who are familiar with dating and so if he's familiar with dating and even if he's not he'll probably be paying attention to how you're acting and being like, okay, is she into me? Is she not into me? Like, what's going on here? And so when you're leaning forward he's like, oh, she's totally into me and then when you're leaning back he's like, oh, is she still into me? Right? And you're kind of doing it back and forth throughout the interaction and the date that you're having with him and so he's like I'm not sure when she's into me I'm not sure when she's not did she get into me and then not into me because sometimes women lose interest and then they gain interest and he's not really sure and so you're kind of playing like I said you're taking him on that emotional rollercoaster ride of unpredictability where you're having him feel all these different emotions around this and it can be really, really powerful to creating attraction and creating tension and making him really, really into you and so you can even do it on a higher level and sometimes you'll hear about guys doing this maybe if you're in our community where a guy like is like when he's with women will say this all the time they'll be like when he's with me it's like he's so sweet and kind and he says all these loving things and he tells me that he loves me but then he's like gone for a few days and he has no contact like shows up again and he's like with me and he's like into me and doing all this stuff right and so basically what's happening there she's experiencing kind of this hot, cold push-pull on a macro level where he's totally into her and she's like oh my god this feels so good and then all of a sudden he's gone and she's like what happened where'd he go and then he's back and like I said you don't want to do this in an abusive way you don't want to do it in a manipulative way you don't want to do it in any of those kinds of ways but when you're with a guy you want him to feel really good and you want him to feel great emotions when he's around you and you can take him through those those that rollercoaster ride of emotions and then you're gone and that's one of the things that I talk about with the principle of scarcity if you're familiar with some of my other work where you're not trying to be in contact with him all the time you're giving him a chance to miss you and him sitting there thinking like oh man when we were together it was so amazing and like I can't wait to see her again like why isn't she reached out to me she's so awesome like ah you know and so he gets those feelings and he gets those emotions when you're doing these things right you're he's hanging out with you and he's having a great time and then you're gone and he's like ah I wish he was there right and he's thinking about you all the time and that's what creates that that addictive emotion that he has in his mind where he's thinking about you all day and night and he can't wait to be with you again and so that's everything that's macro level combination and verbal push pull and so if you if you get it let me know that you get it that you get it say you get it in the chat if you don't get it and you have questions about this if you have questions about your situation if you have questions about anything go ahead and feel free to put them in the chat and I will get to all of your questions and so again verbal push pull right the important question coffee or tea right and you're you're kind of messing with them and then you pull them in you're one of those people like just kidding I like it too right and you're just you're playing with them and it's fun and it's enjoyable and you're having a great time combination you're pulling them in but you're like you gotta get away from me and maybe even push them away after that I don't know come back come back I want to see you again right and it's this fun playful thing it's a natural thing that people do when they're really into each other is they do this it's not it like sometimes people talk about it being manipulation and it can be manipulation but it can also be a natural way that people interact with each other when they're really into each other and then the macro push pull which is you know kind of leaning back and being either like looking off looking at your phone or anything like that but just leaning back and letting him talk and then being into it and being really engaged in the conversation and then there's even higher levels of it which again like I said if you go too extreme or too dramatic with this he can think that you're crazy or that you're playing games with him or something like that and you want to be subtle and you want to use it sparingly and especially definitely use it sparingly just to test it and see how it goes right before you you start jumping into it so that's it again if you want my entire system on how to attract and keep a great guy in a relationship where he loves you and sees you and absolutely cherishes you make sure that you go to the foreverwomanformula.com and pick up my entire system there so that is that Helena is the first person Helena is the first person in our chat I was just talking to Helena today actually we were talking about a lot of the business stuff that we do together and all the different things that we do and so I was telling Helena that she that I don't ever want her to not kind of be in this with me because she really kind of completes me and Helena you complete me you complete me I know she's going to love that and so it's one of those things where with Helena like I really feel like she she's kind of like the other half of this business where she's got all this like feminine stuff and you know all this work that we do she has all this feminine stuff I'm more of the brainy kind of like tactical kind of guy and strategy kind of guy and she's more in her feelings and stuff and it's really cool so it's awesome to have you here Helena hello hello hello everybody if you have any questions make sure you ask them in the chat so Julie Trees says have you lost weight you look so good I'm not you know I don't know I was just in Italy for a week and all they have in Italy is pizza and pasta and sandwiches so I'd be very surprised if I lost some weight Mary says you can't make someone addicted to you of course you can't of course you can't you can't make someone addicted to you it's so funny of course you can make someone addicted to you Julie Trees says I have no social intelligence help well it's you know it can take some time sometimes and you know I'm an introvert and being an introvert it can be difficult but over time if you work on it you can definitely you can definitely pick it up so Columbus Michelle says I love this Texas and Tissar says love all your videos very informative you well thank you for loving all of my videos and I'm glad that you enjoy it Kathy says what if he says those things to you how should we respond just be playful and have fun with him right that's what you want to do is you want it to be playful and fun right if he messes with you it's like you know and you can even recognize it and be like oh you totally got me there right if he's doing push-pull on you and you're connecting with him and he's having all these emotions you're like you know and just just have fun with it right like I said love is playful and fun as soon as you take it serious it turns out of this place of creating attraction and building tension and having fun and it turns it into this other weird thing and so you want to have fun with it and be playful with it and you can even take it a little bit even more like and sometimes you can pretend like you're being serious right and you're like he does something and you're like I can't believe you'd say something like that to me you know and he like tries to touch you and you're like no no right and then he's like he's like you know like what and you can tell he's starting to get serious and you're like I'm just messing with you that's the tension that you create with another person with a man when you're connecting with them is you're just having fun with each other and you're playing with each other and you're messing with each other and it's just it's fun right it's a lot of fun Liz says what if he doesn't go along with the fun he's taking it all serious well like I said you can if you're doing push-pull and he's taking it seriously you can always say hey I'm just messing with you and if he's not like if he continues to take it seriously it could be one right like what I was talking about before where I said you have to be you have to be in touch and in tune with what's going on with him and where he is right if he just had some kind of serious situation and you kind of mess with them and you're like hey you know like let's have some fun he's just like I don't want to have fun right it could be like okay well he's in this serious place to be in this serious place and so I'm not going to mess with him right now however if he's just doing it if he's just always serious and he's just always serious and you're trying to have fun with him and he's just always serious it's like okay well is this you know I don't know how long you've been seeing this guy but it's like okay well how you know is this is this really what I want is this really what I want to experience in a relationship is someone that's always serious all the time and can't just have fun with me and be playful so it's one of those things where you just have to kind of gauge what's going on in the scenario which is why it's important to have social calibration when you're doing this so that you don't get yourself into a weird situation where he's taking everything seriously because he's coming from a serious place and he's not willing to get into a playful and fun place and you are right and so it could be that other things are needed if you are in a relationship and he's in a serious place it could be that that maybe you guys you know because it's one of those things where sometimes women comment they're like okay I'm in this relationship it's been going on for seven years and I'm trying to do this fun playful thing with them and he's not doing fun and playful with me and it's like well you guys have so much baggage and other things going on in the relationship that it might be necessary to approach it from a different situation than hey all of a sudden I'm having fun and joking around and you're being serious because there's so much there that's been working or unraveling or so much whatever is there from all the time that you've been seeing each other so it kind of depends on your situation and what's going on with you Kathy says can I cancel a date and say I like you too much I have to stay with you I have to stay away from you as a joke then tell him the real reason I have to reschedule or is that too much no that's great that's exactly Kathy that's exactly what I'm talking about so you're like hey you know you're like hey I have to cancel and he's like why right and you're like I just like you too much and I really have to stay away from you and you're just like no I'm just I'm messing with you I've got this dentist appointment that just came up and I have to go and see him because he's going on vacation and I really need to get this tooth fixed right whatever the scenario is right and again though the whole cancellation thing you don't want especially if it's new you don't want to be cancelling on guys sometimes I hear some women talk about like cancelling on a guy like on a date and they're like oh cancel on a date and there's experts out there that'll say that I don't recommend that you do it especially if you're newer to dating him because it it can send him the wrong signal where all of a sudden he thinks that you don't actually like him I mean obviously if you have a legitimate reason why you definitely have to cancel it you know you have to do what you have to do but I wouldn't say that you should cancel dates regularly or intentionally or whatever so Mary says Matt you need to quit you need to stop streaming I'm liking this too much exactly get it you get it Mary you get it Rochelle says what's the best thing to do or say when he becomes distant all of a sudden the best thing to do is to give him space that's the absolute best thing you can do if he becomes distant all of a sudden is to just give him space and let him come back to you right there's the I don't know if one of the other live streams I talked about the cat the cat metaphor where it's like it's like being with a cat you have a cat and you want to pet the cat and you walk up to the cat and the cat like is you know all whatever and you come up and he kind of like runs away from you and you're like oh and you kind of chase after the cat the cat will continue to keep running away from you and then you'll end up chasing the cat off into the wild and he won't come back to you for a long time whereas if you come up to the cat and the cat kind of runs away from you and you like you're like oh okay cool you're like you're petted right now and you like go off and you sit down the cat might come up to you and jump on your lap and then you're petting him and it's like you know that that's when you pet the cat is when the cat comes to you not when the cat's running away from you right so if he's running away you don't want to chase him if he's running away you want to pull back as well because that creates a vacuum and it creates almost like this magnetic pole where all of a sudden he's over there from her for a while and he's got his own things going on or whatever and he's like I want to see her whereas if you're chasing after him he's like oh she won't leave me alone and she's trying to contact me all the time and I've got these other things that I've got to do right now and so you'll go lower on the value list if you do that whereas if you pull away all of a sudden you're creating that space and you're creating scarcity like I talk about in my forever woman program which I recommend that you go and get there should be a link above or below this video so you can go check out the forever woman program you should definitely get it so Jamie says how can you do this if you are dating online well my suggestion I mean you can do it if you're dating online my suggestion is that you don't because it can be taken the wrong way it can really easily be taken the wrong way and so my suggestion is that for most guys you don't need to do this when you're doing online dating most guys so if you look at online dating this is kind of how it looks is a guy gets on to online dating or on Tinder or some kind of app and a woman gets on online dating or Tinder or some kind of app and when the guy gets on there he has nobody to talk to and so he has to go searching for women that he's interested in and he will contact a bunch of women most of them won't respond back to him in most places in the world and so he has to contact a lot of women in order for one of them to respond no matter what he says to her and for the women when she gets on she's usually bombarded with messages from dudes and they're talking to lots of guys guys start figuring out okay there's certain women that I can talk to that are going to go on dates with me there's certain women that aren't and so if you want to go out on a date with a guy from online the important thing isn't in doing push-pull and making him feel all these things over text message or over online the important thing is that you guys is that either you get on the phone or you guys meet up those are the most important things and there's other things that you can do like you should probably do some screening of a guy before you go out on a date with him or before you even talk to him on the phone however it's not really all that necessary because he's trying to his movement is already moving towards you and so you just want to catch the guys that have movement that are moving towards you and then bring them in like there's a lot of women that'll talk to me and they're like how do I text all these amazing things and message all these amazing things that make guys obsessed with me and all this stuff and it's one of those things where if you're doing online stuff it's like if he's got a ton of different things going on and his his attention is spread out all over the place what you want is a guy that kind of narrows in on you and is really interested in you and talks to you you don't want some guy that's kind of all over the place and he's doing all these things which is why you want to get to the meet up or the phone call or the video chat as quickly as possible that way you can actually meet him in person because that's where really the magic happens that's where the real connection happens that's where you can really kind of do these things really well you can do them over the phone and online and over messenger and all that kind of stuff if you want to but I don't recommend it I just don't recommend it because you're missing out on so many things and you're not really going to be connecting with them in the way that you need to be connecting with them if you meet him in person and or you meet him over video chat and then meet him in person so that's my recommendation to you on that one he says is that's really love you if is that's really love you if the man he always thinking about you well love is a little bit different than than just thinking about you all the time so Seb says online is not really dating yeah Linda says oh how sweet I'm sure she feels love I'm sure I hope she does Elizabeth says he looks happy Elizabeth says what does it mean when an older man winks at you well winking used to be this thing back in the day that a lot of people did and it can mean a lot of different things typically it used to be like this like flirty technique that people people used to do back in the day I'm not I'm better at winking with my left eye but it used to be a thing back in the day that people did a lot more to kind of flirt with each other like or if you're in a conversation and he's like you're like you have a secret that you don't want to tell this other person and you're like yeah this is true and he like winks at you and you're like he's full of crap right now and he's telling me that but that person doesn't know it kind of depends on the situation that you're in that means Mimi says with that hot and cold macro tech if I'll be close to him and then I want to just disappear for a while for how long I'll be safe to make him miss me without losing him well it kind of depends right it depends on what you're talking about like you don't want to ignore him and you don't want to completely disappear on him I talk about this in detail in my program the forever woman at theforeverwomanformula.com you should go check that out because I go over exactly how to do what you're talking about is the principle of scarcity and so you don't want to be like messing with him you don't want to disappear on him you don't want to ignore his message that he sends you for days you don't want to do any of that kind of stuff you just want to make it more interspersed right so sometimes maybe you're responding right back to him immediately maybe sometimes you're waiting a couple hours it's not really that big of a deal because you've got a life and you've got things going on maybe if it's later at night you wait until the next day to message him back just because that's you've got other things that you're doing at night and so it's one of those things where you don't want to make it too big and wide especially if he's messaging you but again it's like okay so what do you mean are you talking about reaching out to him and that's a whole other thing all together my suggestion is that you go and pick up my program a copy of my program at the foreverwomanformula.com cloud says good to see you again cutie petuny I totally got you I have to travel constantly for work so I meet lots of guys in different cultures would not get it it's true some people don't get it and so that's why you have the I'm just messing with you I'm just joking with you and you can even poke on and kind of play with them and you're like I'm messing with you you're like oh you're going to be serious right now you're going to be Mr. Serious you know it's like especially if you're out there dating you're learning about him and you're playing with him and you're having fun with him and you're flirting with him and you're flirting is it's playful it's fun it's connecting on that playful level it's not being serious and so you want to get him in that playful state because that's where the fun happens that's where he goes yeah you know what I had a lot of fun with her and I was really kind of serious but like she was like messing with me and whatever and different different cultures can be different and they can look at things in a different way and so you have to be in tune to that but also still have fun and be playful and maybe a little bit of some of this is kind of an American thing that we do I don't know maybe maybe not no it's not it's not I know people do this all over the world I've seen people do this all over the world and so it might just be in some cultures it's less it's less prominent but everybody does this all over the world it's a flirting technique it's a natural flirting technique that people do so Doreen says so what if you are both obsessed with each other is it the same as being addicted to you yeah I mean this is kind of in the same realm is kind of obsessed, addicted it's kind of similar kind of words there that you're talking about Cloud says I'm willing to play with it I think that Cloud, Cloudy Liz says thanks Matt Jennifer says you're welcome Liz by the way Jennifer says I have a guy that I have been talking with and getting to know we don't get to see each other often just taking it like the past few months where can push pull come into perspective well it can come into perspective in the entire thing it can come into perspective in kind of just your interactions when you're talking to each other you're getting on video chat or talking over the phone sometimes if you don't see each other very often and whenever you are talking to each other there should be periods of you're kind of talking and then you're not talking and you're not talking and like I said when you are talking it should be like this thing where it's really engaged and you're having a lot of fun and you're really enjoying it and then all of a sudden there's periods of not talking so Sissy says thanks Matt enjoying this live you look cute as always laugh out loud today this is such a fun topic awesome well I'm glad you're enjoying it Sissy this is a fun topic Sabine says how to deal with a shy guy while being in your feminine energy we have met and been talking for about three weeks so when you're dealing with a shy guy and so what I'm going to assume Sabine that you're talking about is you're talking about him being shy so he's not his energy isn't really moving forward as much and being in your feminine energy I did a video recently about how to lean back how to lean back and get a guy to chase you my suggestion is that you go and watch that video but also in terms of being in your feminine energy that doesn't mean that you're always leaning back that's a misconception about feminine energy and leaning back is that you should always be leaning back and that you shouldn't ever be doing anything and that you can't connect with a man and all that kind of stuff and the reason that we usually talk about leaning back and doing that kind of a thing is because a lot of the women that come to us are usually leaning forward and they're doing everything and so when they lean back it's almost like they're up in the middle the amount of kind of contact that you're doing with him should ideally you'd look at around 20 80 where 80% of the time he's reaching out to you and contacting you 20% of the time you're reaching out and contacting him but you also have to calibrate with whatever scenario you're in and so my suggestion is that you don't ever go over 50% of the time where you're contacting him and kind of doing that kind of a thing but if you're talking about being in your feminine energy there's ways to do it where you're inviting him because feminine energy is about receiving it's about inviting it's about being like hey I'm here come and get me and so when you're doing that you can connect with him in a way where you're asking for instance one of the techniques that I talk about in the the goddess community the inner circle program and you can ask for help and be in your feminine energy as long as you're not expecting something to happen from it and you're just connecting with him and you're asking for help and you're creating kind of an invitation for him to come and connect with you more and so you can you can create invitations and it's not a big deal and it's as long as you're coming from your feminine energy and so you know the interesting thing about your question Sabine is that and I'm kind of going deeper into this right now is that when you're saying how to deal with him while being in my feminine energy what it says to me is that you're not in your feminine energy and that you're trying to technique your way into your feminine energy which is the opposite of being in your feminine energy because when you're in your feminine energy you're not like how do I deal with him and do these things with him and get him to do these things you're connected, you're flowing you're feeling your emotions you can connect with him and your invitation and do all these things and it's not a big deal because you're coming from a space of being in your feminine energy and so it isn't a big deal and if you don't understand what I'm talking about there it might be good to be connected a little bit more and do a little bit more time connecting with your feminine energy so you can feel where you're coming from when you do that Faria says nice your all videos are very nice very helpful, thanks you are welcome Julie Tree says Matt I grew up in a very abusive home and I just don't know how to play this game it's very confusing okay he says three years in and my boyfriend still does this I listen to you and don't chase him but the up and down is annoying and I'm tired well it might be that you need to communicate with your boyfriend a little bit more and my guess is that you're talking about the hot and cold and so one thing that my suggestion is is that you start creating abundance all in my forever woman program but create abundance in connection and create abundance in kind of other people in your life so that you're not all your focus isn't on him and it's not so tiring and you're not just like oh this is exhausting for me to be with this guy who's doing this kind of hot cold thing with me all the time and so you're getting other things you're getting those kind of connections dealt with in another way other than it just being getting all the connections done with with him if that makes sense I don't know if that makes sense it made sense you let me know if it didn't you can ask your question again Helena says ah ha ha you complete me too you complete me Helena you complete me Delia says Matt love how to get an introvert or a naturally secretive person to open up more in the beginning of an online relationship I'm reaching out first because I fear if I don't he won't okay so you're saying an online relationship not dating app so it sounds like you don't have a relationship it's all online so you're not I mean have you met this person you know I want to go back I just did a video on are you in a long distance relationship or is it a scam I want to make sure that you're not in a scam because a lot of women are and so it's hard to tell what you're talking about and what you mean by an online relationship like if you're just starting to date some guy and he's a secret he has all these secrets that should be a big red flag not a how do I get him to open up online so that I can open him up about his secrets type of thing it should be like why are you being secretive with me and we're in this online relationship together I mean there's it should be a red flag for you one if that's the scenario and you should be looking into it like what's really going on here and what am I missing that's what you should be thinking Jamie says thanks Matt Linda says Matt question how do you balance working with Helena and your relationship I'm seeing a guy and at times we have to talk about his company and I'm kind of helping him with feedbacks and social media please advise I'm not sure exactly what your challenge is so it depends on what what's the problem that's coming up for you what's the challenge that you're having you know how do you balance working with Helena and your relationship I mean that's such a broad topic that you'd have to you'd have to tell me more about what your challenge that you have going on and I'd have to know more about that so Silver Steve says I am dating a guy who's 12 years younger than me I sense that he likes me through his actions all dates are nothing special happen I ask him once if he likes me he just answered yes he's the one paid in the restaurant I'm confused sometimes about my feelings about it but I see he's happy like me too haha you're handsome when winking okay alright I didn't see a question in there if you have a question make sure you ask a question so I know what you need answered Elizabeth says if he misses hasn't seen you for a while then gets all dressed up and touchy-feely with you what is going on going through his mind is that he wants to impress you and that he wants to connect with you I don't know what kind of a relationship you guys have so it kind of depends on the relationship like if you guys have been seeing each other for a while and he hasn't seen you for a while and he misses you and he gets all dressed up and he's all like all over you and stuff it's because he misses you and he wants to connect with you and he wants to be all there with you and that's it's a normal kind of thing that a guy would want to do if he's in a relationship with someone and he hasn't seen him for a while and he sees them and he's just like oh yeah what's going on oh you're so sweet kiss you you know all that kind of stuff that's normal if that's what you're talking about which I'm not 100% sure Mimi's makeup says thanks a lot Matt you are welcome Mimi if that's your name if that's your real name Jennifer says yeah we talk a bit on the phone and such we both have busy lives okay Elizabeth says why do guys get intimidated by an attractive girl and why do some men get aggravated when a woman going about her day isn't smiling but has a resting bee face as somebody who officially has resting bee face I will have to tell you that it's not like that it's not that men get aggravated that women aren't smiling but there's kind of this thing where guys give right and they're trying to give and sometimes it comes off wrong and it comes off like he's trying to manipulate you or he's mad at you or something like that but really he's trying to give to you and he's trying to lighten you up and he's like hey you know smile or whatever right it's a huge kind of me too movement thing that's going on right now but guys you know they see a girl and they're like oh she's so beautiful like you know she's probably got so many great things like it would be so amazing if she was smiling which is my thought I've never ever in my entire life been like hey you should smile right like you know outside of like talking to clients or something like that and being like yeah you know smile or whatever or talking even with men you know in the men's dating industry when I taught men to go and meet women you teach them to smile before you walk up to a woman because it's totally different experience and so it's not that they're being aggravated by a woman like that it's more like they want her to enjoy life and they want her to be beautiful and pretty and that's usually kind of their gift like yeah you should be smiling you know like life is good you know reason to be angry or whatever and the intimidated thing by an attractive girl it's it's the same thing why women are intimidated by attractive men or by celebrities or anything like that right like if a guy sees a really pretty woman a lot of times she's gonna be like ah she's out of my league and you know like I'm not even gonna mess with it or he'll be like oh my god this is like if I was with her she would be like the perfect woman for me and so for him it's like you know how many times you meet and talk to a woman that is like absolutely gorgeous depends on where you are in the world and how many women are around and all that kind of stuff and so guys can easily get intimidated by that right it's I don't see why you wouldn't understand why a guy would be intimidated by that like you see a beautiful woman you're like oh my god she is just gorgeous right and you like over and it's like hey you know like you're really hot you want to talk like what's going on with you I can't think right now I'm so nervous right and so guys guys have insecurities guys have all kinds of different things going on just like women do and so if a guy sees a really attractive girl he might just be like oh my god like I'm not sure what to do here and get all nervous about it Delia says who else thinks Matthew looks like Jim Gordon from Gotham TV show he's got that cute nose and adorable eyes I haven't seen that show Kathy says is he trying to make me jealous if he shows me pics of his co-workers making sure I saw each pretty girl I didn't react it's possible it might be Cloud says Matt you are real John Claude oh it's Claude so do you recall John Claude the damn martial arts actors my name is his middle name in French is his commonest Sam okay well I'm not sorry Claude I'm not very familiar with France and French names so I apologize about getting your name wrong I am really bad with names though it's a challenge I'm working on it it's a challenge you know we all have our own challenges one of mine pronouncing people's names apparently Elizabeth says what do men consider a feminine woman that is a huge topic actually Helena and I did a whole video about feminine vs masculine energy that you can look up and I suggest you go and watch that entire video because that's a huge topic that can be talked about for a long long time Linda says I love leaning back it's the most important thing it's the most powerful thing for a woman to do I love it you feel free and liberated thanks to you Helena and Adrienne forever grateful this is a magical technique well you are welcome you are welcome I don't know what all this stuff is but that was just my personality coming out okay Yvonne says I learn so much a abundance I have other things in place are tough yeah it can be tough Yvonne said these are real men not my scammer kind of close the door on him I'm glad you closed the door on scammers because you don't want to deal with those people they're not people you want to deal with Yvonne says a lot of women do not talk about the fact they were scams yeah I know working on a book on scamming to expose all I know how can I reach you you can reach me by messaging me at support at commitment connection dot com so Dalia says we met online so he is a blogger and we grew closer so he's a public figure and we're starting to like each other and we have a plan to take it to real life aha so for now we're in different countries well I would I would first off don't ever give him any money so we're back on the scam thing here Dalia so first off don't give him any money don't ever give him any money especially before you meet him or after you've met him or to get him to where you are or any of that kind of stuff don't give him any money go watch that video that I made about whether you're in a long distance relationship or whether it's a scam go watch that right after this that's my suggestion Sabine says thanks I have difficulty with feminine side worked on it for a year now I work in a man's world being a cook so I'm often in my masculine energy and have been used to doing everything yeah that's you know like if I were you Sabine what I would do is I would make a study of it and just spend some time learning about it just get really into it we have a program that we sell about it we've got some videos on our YouTube channel about feminine energy and learning more about that I've done written some articles about it there's there's a lot of stuff but more than anything really what it's important for you to do is spend a lot of time kind of switching into it and getting connected with it and feeling it and getting it so that you feel you feel comfortable in it again and just spend some time there and it can be really really powerful for you that that's what I've heard from women that have done it anyway it's been really powerful for me stepping into my masculine energy and spending a lot of time there Joy says I understand long distance my guy is a OTR truck driver so his job 24-7 known each other for years and lost touch he calls text when he can focus on us slowly reconnecting with your advice thank you you are absolutely welcome I'm glad that you are using my advice for some great things that's very important Andrea says Andrea says how to make a man feel less stress when dating my guy said he is at time stressed when he is with me well it depends on why he's feeling stress right so if he's feeling stressed with because he's a super introvert or because he has social anxiety what he needs to do is learn how to manage his stress in an effective way and so stress in terms of dating and being on a date with you means that he needs to figure out like what de-stresses him especially in different scenarios so for instance I have social anxiety I have horrible social anxiety if I go out into a big crowd of people then my social anxiety flares up and I will lose my mind after about an hour and a half and I can start feeling it coming on and the way that I get over that is I will either have to go and like sit by myself for a while or I can just sit and focus on one person just have a conversation and make it just this thing where it's just the two of us and so that helps me with my social anxiety and my stress when I'm in that kind of situation but it kind of depends on what is stressing him and what is going on there and so he needs to kind of do some study just like I was talking about with Sabine he needs to do some study into what his stress is and so he needs to figure out what's making him stressed right is it because for some guys it might be that he needs to do all these things because a lot of times especially if he's a masculine guy and he's with a woman he's like he's probably trying to take control of everything and make sure everything's good and everything's taken care of and he needs to know where all the plans are and how are things going to go and if you say no to one of his plans what's he going to do next and so for a lot of guys it can be really stressful and he needs to figure out what it is that's stressing him out so that he can pinpoint how to deal with that stress and how to relieve it and how to get into a space where it's not stressing him out as much and so it really depends on what the stress is he can you know there's a lot of different things that he might be able to do so let's see here Mandy says do men show love through intercourse I've read conflicting stories they can yeah absolutely that's definitely one way to show love especially depending on what his love language is that that's one way that he can show love but there's a lot of other ways that he can show love as well and if he's the kind of person that shows love through intercourse then there's he's probably a guy who is a touchy feely guy or has physical intimacy as one of his love languages and so it kind of depends right and so it depends on what there's a lot of different ways that a guy can show love and so that can be one but it can also not be one and so it kind of depends it depends on him depends on how he's feeling depends on where he's coming from depends on how he shows love and so yeah it could be so Mandy says when we do it in text they have to get it otherwise it's dry yep that's exactly true okay we have broken the hour here so thank you everybody for being here again if you want if you're really serious about getting into a great relationship where you're loved and seen and absolutely cherished by an amazing man make sure you go to the forever woman formula dot com there should be a link above or below this video the forever woman formula dot com go pick up a copy of my program and it is changing lives we're getting so many women that their entire their entire lives are changing their their relationships are changing the way that their dating is changing all from this program so make sure you go in and pick up a copy and so thank you everybody for being here thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey thank you everyone you guys are absolutely awesome I'm so grateful to have you as a part of our community here thank you for all the women that are part of our program and the inner circle program thank you all you're absolutely amazing and you're really like all it's so amazing to hear so many women going from these kind of situations where they're struggling and they're having lots of challenges to being in great amazing relationships and I'm just so grateful that I can be here and help you and be a part of your journey so thank you so much and I will speak with you again soon and so everybody take care and we'll chat what next week or something so that's it