 Everybody says just be yourself like it's easy What about when you don't know what it feels like to be yourself or when the world has shown you? It's not safe to be authentic As a trauma survivor past traumatic scenarios continue to run through your mind And you are constantly on the lookout for those likely in the future This way you try to avoid further trauma But this is preventing you from being present in the moment. So there's no room left for being authentic The ability to tolerate being vulnerable is necessary to being authentic and trauma can steal that capacity away Says therapist Robin E. Brickle. If you can relate to this I want you to know that your feelings are valid and may be due to a trauma response So to help figure out if you're being fake due to childhood trauma keep watching blend in for safety Trauma tricks you into thinking that it's your fault or that you could have done something to prevent it a lot of times these Inaccurate beliefs lead to shame. So you seek protection in whatever way possible Maybe you went from rocking vibrant colors and prints to wearing dark oversized hoodies and sweatpants as a way to camouflage into your surroundings or You transitioned from being bubbly and voicing your opinion to doing anything to blend in and stay quiet Of course, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being quiet or rocking dark oversized clothes But if these choices aren't aligned with your authentic style or voice It may be a sign of trauma According to therapist Robin Brickle, if a trauma survivor believes they did the wrong thing Which resulted in their being traumatized They might feel like they have to blend in to stay hidden or act in a certain way to protect themselves Disconnect Can you relate to only having fragments available of the most difficult times in your life or not remembering something traumatic occurred until years later? This can be because those feelings and memories may not have been integrated into your brain When faced with a threat your heart rate increases and your muscles are supplied with more blood in the event Running becomes necessary When this happens less important bodily functions temporarily shut down as the body readies itself for fight or flight explains therapist Douglas Mitchell Traumatic events are also inherently threatening says clinical psychologist Dr. Amy Hardy at 2016 research Discusses that traumatic events activate the amygdala Responsible for biological processing of fear to initiate the behavioral reactions required to deal with threats in those moments Your brain had to De-prioritize the parts that deal with thinking memory and emotions if you don't have access to specific memories or feelings It would only make sense that it would affect your ability to be authentic Understanding this is important because it shows that it's not your fault that you have trouble accessing emotions Fawning Sometimes it's necessary to be agreeable and please your abuser to survive This is the trauma response fawning coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker Walker saw fawning as the fourth F of trauma responses fight flight freeze and fawn When you respond by fawning you try to diffuse the conflict and harm they inflicted on you by surrendering your own needs for theirs Traumatic experiences can Standably change you because you were shown that having your own needs or beliefs wasn't an option passive-aggressive What happens when you can't directly confront someone abusing you the only solution can sometimes be indirectly challenging them Like being passive-aggressive explains pediatrics psychology fellow Daniel Flint Picture this it's your first year of college and you rented a town home with five other students It's been going really well But you found studying difficult when they have company over late at night and blast music Instead of confronting the issue head-on and talking to them Do you leave subtle hints that it makes you uncomfortable if? Confrontation scares you and it feels safer to be passive-aggressive Your behavior may be rooted in feeling scared in a hostile home environment as a child Perfectionism if you were attacked with abusive words It's understandable that you would be overly careful with your comments and avoid causing others the same pain you Experienced or if you were always nervous about coming home from school because you didn't know what mood your parents would be in You're gonna want to be as calm or as people have accused you as stoic as possible According to clinical psychologist Amy Hardy your coping strategies to survive trauma can manifest as PTSD symptoms a Study from the International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction Found that patients who presented with post-traumatic stress disorder had higher levels of socially prescribed perfectionism To regain control while on the outside people may accuse you of being fake Because you're too uptight and don't know how to be real what they fail to understand is that it's not your intent as You need a sense of safety and predictability in your life If you can relate to these signs You deserve compassion for everything you've been through and how your brain has had to adapt for survival If you had to learn skills that sacrificed your authenticity, I want you to know There's no expiration date to becoming true to yourself with therapy and self-compassion You can find healing Can you relate to these signs? Let us know below and if you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up and subscribe for more Are you feeling like you need to be too nice to people? If you'd like to know why our video seven signs You're not too nice. It's your trauma boning. We'll give you more insights until next time Thanks for being here and not giving up on yourself