Kyli's Birthday Song (by Hannah)





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Published on Jul 26, 2011

"Kyli was a rebel/Right out from the start/she took to drink at 17/and broke her mother's heart/we put her into rehab to try to sort her out/but she just sort of sat there/to smoke and drink and pout.

Chorus: Kyli, you're such a trouble maker. Kyli, you'll end up a janitor. Who can draw real bad-ass drawings. Yeah you hear what I said??

One day while in rehab/she climbed out of a window/and she became a con artist/an expert at the swindle/she swindled half of Europe/all the way to Timbuktu/but trust me, it's not over/till she's swindled me and you


It became a global crisis/there seemed no easy fix/till someone got Amy Poehler/to tell Kyli to stop her trick/Now Kyli's still a rebel/but by night she mops the floors/so kids, listen to your mothers/so you don't end up like her.

Chorus: Kyli, you're such a trouble maker. Kyli, you ended up a janitor. Part time. In a jail. Where you tattoo your drawings on the prisoners so they don't kill you. I hear you are addicted to heroin now and have seven kids. One of whom is half monkey. That was one funky monkey you f***** for money honey. And that's the story of Kyli. And that, my friends, is why we love her."

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