 We have to understand that we're called to be leaders and that that we take rule and submission from our relationship with God And that's how we activate right where we can get to that point about okay. I can't be disciplined enough to save I'm not gonna masturbate anymore. I'm not gonna be out here sleeping around and chasing women And it is a difficult test especially after you've experienced it Man Man being single is no joke, bro. This is it's not easy out here. It's you being a single man What what what are your perspective on that like what what is it what it's like being a single man? Man I Want to put it in context like being single and striving to do the right thing, you know from whatever your moral code is You know both of you and I both believers Man, it's a challenge man. Like especially like I saw I grew up like Knowing the right thing to do, you know, I had my father in my life But I still made some like some goofy choices and decisions man on my head, you know as we talked about in the man cave I lost my virginity young, you know, and that changed me and I had nobody to talk to About that and I think as a man, that's kind of like the struggle It's like when you're trying to do the right thing like this collectively as men like we don't How often do we open up and like talk about like yeah, man You shouldn't be trying to sleep around you should focus on yourself learn how to love yourself discover your purpose and You know like what that is and just I don't think man We have the we have a safe space to like talk about internal issues that we go through and get taken seriously You know, I agree like just just for it for one example man like so a serious thing like That would not be laughable is like a woman that's going through menopause or something That's a that's a real thing, right? Yeah, because that's that's very emotional and like daunting and changing for her But for a man like one thing like just just for me like something I run to my family is like in the corners Like we start to lose our hair, you know, like that's a detrimental thing for a man You know, like I know for me when I started to like like my hair started to then It was like it was joked, you know It was joked about like everybody joked about but you got a thing like this is a part of like our identity You know and like so for me like I realized that just like there's certain Just double standards, you know, like like it's laughed at like boy Just man cut it off, you know, even with my brother my brother every all the all the men in my family are bald now And even with my brother used to find myself joking with him I said man, I'm gonna stop joking with him about that like that's that's something that as men like, you know It's our that means like there will art it shows that we have a lot of testosterone in our body You know a physical change that we have to go through but that also has something to do with our identity That's not really taken serious. It's just like me and just cut your hair off and just get a razor just cut your hair off and You know, I've experienced that my dad go through that experience with my brother And again, I used to find myself joking about it. I'm like, that's not a laughable thing Like my brother like I'm putting him on blast like on this, but You know, just as men like we go through certain things that's often laughed off like, you know We're talking about losing our virginity, you know, that's that's supposed to be this cool macho thing But how many young boys we're exposed to like sexual acts early on and and and we get started down the cycle of like like Just trauma, you know, we never open up and talk about it, you know versus something happened to women I feel like it's more of a safe space for them to talk to somebody about it and they're like, you know Cater to but for men, it's just like boy. You love you lost it, man. You out there, you know, getting it in It's just like no man. I'm I'm Traumatized and I don't know it, you know, and I'm trying to force this thing to be cool I think that's that's a position as as men We're forcing to but getting back to being a single man. It's like it's little things like that, man Where when other people don't take you serious, I've had to learn to take myself serious, you know Like especially like with the journey of practicing abstinence, you know, my journey hasn't been perfect Like some of my homeboys I was trying to talk to them about it like yeah, man You know, I'm not sleeping around no more and it's just like again start joking about it like boy Man, you that's crazy, man. Right. It's corny. Huh? I say they see that's corny, right? Right? I was like man, that's squared. That's lame and prime example of like I don't know if you saw the thing with Russell Wilson in the media where um One of the guys from a podcast tried to call him square, you know, wow Just because the way that he moved and carried himself as a man But it's like I want to be a square man Like I want to be a wholesome man, but it it'll never be cool and I'm okay with that, you know, like being a leader Um going against the grain you're always going to be ostracized But as a single man that's like striving to like do the right thing It it caused us to live and lead a different life, you know to go against the norm to You know not be out at the clubs no more not be out, you know chasing women, you know having control Of your testosterone and learning how to love yourself even even when it's laughable and nobody else is going to support you Like a lot of times as men we have to face a lot of things Alone and not necessarily collectively and that could be hard. So my journey man. I noticed like When I initially gave my life back to God and um, you know, it was on this trajectory like man I don't want to get I don't want to smoke weed no more I ain't trying to drink every weekend no more. I ain't trying to sleep with women no more All my homeboys because they were still in that space. They're trying to like pull me back into it You know like make money say it one time. Yeah, you know, or like man, just get some head like you don't got to go that far But I learned that I had to like for men like like thinking about king david He had he had to go into that cave You know and you go into that cave and you come out of different men. He just realized that we're we're We're put here individually and in our most important relationship outside of one another's our relationship with God You know, and I think that's important on my journey as a single man Is learning how to depend on God when there's nobody else for me to talk to or get advice from So that that's a little bit of my point of view man. How about yourself? What's your journey been like and what's something that that you've learned man? It's tough bro. And a great point you made, you know, with Your boy saying hey, just a little bit ahead. Just a little bit of this and that Is that you know a slow leak still causes damage brings that a lot of times we try to ignore that like Okay, if I do it every now and then it's okay But now your slow leak still causes damage and that's something I had to kind of like, you know As it says in my life is like, okay, I'm not doing this every single day But it's not okay to even like slip up every now and then, you know But when you compare yourself for me for me personally what I what I you know, what I've done is Sometimes I compare myself, you know to the people I know and be like man, they doing this every day every night Um, I remember being a college role compare myself to my teammates, right? Because usually, you know, I'm in my dorm room I'm I'm studying, you know, I'm just focused and um, they out every single night Just, you know, just doing what they do and I you know, I'm like, bro It's almost like you want to feel like you're better than them And you know, because you're not doing every night. You're doing every nine day and it's okay But it's still not okay when you're trying to live pure role Um, you know, you have to make that sacrifice and be consistent with it And for me personally man, it hasn't been easy to be honest. Um You know because I was a man too, you know, we're natural hunters, right? You know, it's one thing for You know for t.d. jakes to be You know, sell a bit, right? But it's another thing for like a young man. Like, you know, you're attractive man, like, you know, women coming to you Man, this is a lot tougher, bro. So like for me personally, it's like You know, I'm not trying to say I'm the most handsome man in the world But you know, like like women do approach me at a higher rate, right? So and I do how weak moments so You know, trying to follow my moral code my fate, you know, I'll be honest I'll be honest man. Like I haven't been perfect, you know, like and I've been intentional to where I'm like, I'm not doing it But there's times where I find myself, you know slipping up um You know Because of that same thing, yo every now and then won't hurt, you know But I'm realizing that yo like you have to have a heart that's fully surrendered You know, you can't you know dabble and dip and you know into that. So, um, it's a work You know, I'm I'm working progress. I am very intentional and I feel like one of the things I want the practical things I work for me is not putting myself in situations or certain environments, right? So so women are ready to come at me But now if I'm going to the club, bro, if I'm um, you know, just yeah, I'm setting myself up You know, so I for me personally, man, I I work and I try to stay home staying doors Um, that don't take temptation away, but now I'm kind of limiting it in stand I'm not right from controlling my environment. Um, but yeah, man And then for me personally, I don't know, but other guys is doing it Man, your relationship with God, bro. So the closest I am to God That's the only way I'm able to like manage and like control myself because now, you know, it's My period is about him trying to honor him trying to you know, trying to be What he created me to be Um, that's the only thing that works for me, you know, some other guys I'm not sure where to get that strength from and you know, their approach to it But for me, this my relationship with God is what keeps me keeps me and even when I slip up I'm like, I gotta get back and like I get back. You made a good point, bro Like I think when men when we're not healthy as men, we get our strength from our homeboys We that apply that pat on the back, you know And one thing that I've realized like like stepping into understanding who Christ is and as a king that kings don't run in clicks You know, like but we can rule and come together and iron sharpens iron But in every group that we're in as men somebody's the leader, you know But but I think just the more that I submit to God to understand that he's my leader It makes me more comfortable now. I can go talk to another man and not feel insecure or feel like Oh, you know, he's taller than me. Oh, he's this or that whatever insecurities that will want to want to pop up And I can learn how to be secure around other brothers and not look for validation or a comparison And I think that's another thing today that we face like with social media as men We're always judged by men. How tall are you? You know, um, you know, how fast are you? How much money do you make like all of these numbers, right? And so like with social media, you see guys who's flex and they appear to have money and attention to stuff Sometimes like I've had to like catch myself on on like am I ambitious enough? You know, like It make like man. I'm not making enough money, you know, instead of like it can become a distraction You know, you said something the other day about Um, a king is never king if he's a slave to his pleasure. Yeah, you can't can't be a king if you'll slave to your pleasures Yeah, yeah, and I think like just even chasing pleasure Distracts you from your purpose and I realized the more that I focus on my purpose the less that I care about profits The less that I care about, you know, compare myself to other men that I see on the internet And now I can confidently go around other brothers and just like it'd be a safe space You know, I could be a safe space for them, you know, like man, I ain't judging you bro I ain't trying to size you up, you know, like you see a lot of that just with like when guys click up Who are unhealthy and insecure they sizing each other up that why I'm better than him because I got this or that I'm taller than him or I can bench more weight or whatever the case may be But just when you allow God to come in and renew your mind. It is a lonely journey, you know Yeah, it is man. I'm telling you bro and the biggest thing man is comparing yourself, bro Because like we don't really have a benchmark Um, and sometimes the men we compare compare ourselves to isn't a good benchmark, right? So and when you do that, it's like bro, you know Yeah, you may be doing good and this this conversation happened with myself. I'm like, okay, I'm doing good, you know I'm not over here just slinging. You know, I'm doing good. I'm focused Every now and then I'll dabble, but you know, I'm doing good. I'm doing better than most, right? But God's not calling us to do good to be good. He's calling us to be great We stand so to be great. You gotta make great sacrifices, right? You know, so like it may be okay for him to do that To dabble every now and then but for you, he's calling you to be great So that was a conversation and something that I'm still working on. Um, understand that, you know, you can't compare yourself, bro Like you're different, right? Your difference. You got to move different. You got to make sacrifices Um to really become what you who you're supposed to be Absolutely And I think one thing that I realized along that journey of becoming greater Is understanding that when I make a mistake like to not continue to beat myself up because I become more self-aware Like you know what what can I learn from this? Let me move different and not abuse at the same time not abuse God's grace and mercy But understand that I need him, you know that I can't try and do it on my own You know, there's there's not enough working out at the gym to try and move that to start strong to replace God Like you still God still has to be the forefront of my life And I just like you said man, just I know I become more self-aware like I know like, okay I need to get in my word. I ain't been praying or fast enough. I'm just starting to override. I'm starting I'm blessing a little too much I'm starting to say some words that I know I don't need to be saying, you know I'm listening to a certain music like I think that's the journey just as a man becoming more self-aware Knowing what works for you and what doesn't, you know But and we again just going back to the to the place of like we don't have room to complain. I think like I've let go of it now, but I want to prepare for this frustrated man just always like I felt like as a man like is Being a heterosexual man today. Yeah, it's tough man. I feel like there's so much talk about toxic masculinity toxic This or that that every anything that I do confidently like that feels true to me Like, um, it's gonna be labeled as toxic, you know, but I've like just let go of that I'm just like I'm just gonna be myself just in every environment that I go in I'm gonna let people think what they think Um, and just you know, because I used to allow other voices to overpower and control like What my identity as a man is as a man But the more that I get into word my word and allow God to show me from his point of view What a healthy man is and looks like, you know Now I can like The voices of comparison as well as the voices of destruction and distraction I can put them at bay and say no, I know who I am like I know Where I'm leading from and coming from it's not toxic, but it's just it's it's masculine And they might be foreign to other people and what's crazy too, man Like if you actually like try to like like honestly track it Bro, like just your sexual purity you do it for like a week you do it for a month You see the difference is a clear difference. Yo when you're actually it's a clear difference, you know And I think it's that's the reason why you know those urges are so strong because Man like a man I can control his sexual urges is a dangerous man, bro. You understand that so No, yeah, so for me, man, I understand that and and I do, you know You know, I've been trying to put the guidelines in place, you know Because one thing too man is like, okay, you're single. Maybe you're not sleeping with other women Um, but maybe you're pleasuring yourself, you stand so like you're online looking at you know Naked women pornography and stuff. That's still a former, you know, right I'll say you're cheating, right? Bro, sometimes it could be a wet dream. Yeah, sometimes a spirit can be attached exactly the past that we haven't subconsciously removed or prayed about and that's facts, bro And that's fact so like, you know, you pleasuring yourself using, you know, you using pamela to pleasure yourself That's still, you know, that does still It still affects your sexual purity, right and because just, you know You're you're watching an image or a video and those soul ties you understand like it's energy, bro Those soul ties they'll come through the phone as well. It's not just that person the person interaction It's actually you watching those videos you, you know, feelings or anything to your mind It does affect you on the soul level as well So, you know Being a single man man trying to do the right thing you have to protect your eyes from all of that, bro Like when it comes to social media, you know, it's naked women everywhere on social media, you know And that's how it starts like for me personally, bro It always starts with like, you know, you go on instagram and you see a picture, right? Now you're like, dang, I want to see a video, right? And now you see a video like bro, I'm about to go out tonight and I'm about to try to find somebody You see the build up and that's how the enemy work. Remember the enemy comes to steal kill and destroy, right? So if he can't kill you right away, he gonna steal your attention a little bit, right? He gonna steal a little time, right? And that's how he builds it up until he can destroy you Bro, and that's how it works the enemy because as men we're visual creatures, right? So what happens is just just like Jesus was was tempted in the wilderness It was tempted visually listen, I can give you all of this, you know And that's why we got to be so connected to God so that we remember what the blueprint that he gave us What that he told us to do just like adam in the garden God had already given him a blueprint, but he got distracted by listening to another voice You know, and that's the thing why as men we have to understand that we're called to be leaders And that that we take take rule and submission from our relationship with God and that's how we activate Right where we can get to that point of like, okay. I can't be disciplined enough to say I'm not gonna masturbate anymore. I'm not gonna be out here sleeping around and chasing women And it is a difficult test especially after you've experienced it. It is bro. It is a fight Yeah, it's not it's not easy man. It's not easy at all But what you have to understand as well is that you know how you handle your singleness It's how you're going to handle your relationship, right? So if I if I'm if I'm if I make masturbation a habit when I'm single I'm going to masturbate in my relationship, bro, right? You know, I'm in marriages and because you know One of the couples that just can't get over masturbation or pornography, right? So during a single time, you know, we don't really understand how important being you know, when you're single How important it is to be disciplined But it's laying the foundation for a relationship, right? So whatever you can't whatever struggles you have during your singleness You're going to have those during your relationship if you don't take the time to actually conquer those facts Yeah facts and that I think just in my journey that's I'm being self-aware like, you know, I know I'm not perfect I I noticed that um I'm more self-aware with the mistakes that I make and like, okay What did I do? What were the boundaries that I didn't have set in place and that helps me, you know Set better boundaries and guidelines for myself, you know, and that's why I move so different as a man Like that's why I can't just be on the scene and just hang with any and everybody because my moral code is different You know, like oftentimes I hear people talk about Proverbs 31 But they don't look at before the Proverbs 31 woman looking at like what king what king Lemuel's mother wrote to him You know talking about, you know, remember that you're a king. You remember that you have people That are looking up to you that you can't be out acting like everybody else getting drunk and being like the rest of the world Being like the crowd, you know, you're different and I have to remind myself of that and sometimes people take it as like Man, you're cocky. I'm like, no, I know the god that I serve in the mission I was put here to do. Yeah, I can't I can't blend and be like you and just go along to get it Right, right. And it all comes down to men like women women appraise for their sexual purity But man, we're looked down on for that, you know, I'm saying so It comes down to making that a cool thing We got to have more conversations like this to make, you know, like if you're a 20 year old virgin the 25 year old Birds and like, yo, bro, that's a great thing like celebrate that you understand But we don't make we make it seem like, yo, man, you lean, you know when actually man Man, it's tough though because I can't say here in flex and say I would wear like a purity rocks t-shirt either No, no, no, no, but but not to be honest though, like if you if you can though, if you can go back, would you But I'd be happy for it to be 28 in virgin, bro. I'd be no kidding, bro I would feel like Superman. I'll be walking around here. So proud. I'm like, man, you know, but You know, it's it's tough. It's tough. Um But we got we got on we gotta start moving like kings and like stop, you know start really, um Um, I'd say start really appreciating our sexual purity and like really making it, you know Something that that's cool and something that that's not really frowned upon when it comes to the guide code Yeah, and just having these conversations, man Like I'm thankful that you and I have been able to meet man because it is comforting It is encouraging here another brother's journey like man, like it's hard. It's hard out here Not trying to play this macho bravado like I'm getting them all It's not easy Like and it never will be We're always going to face that temptation. Um, you know, but just moments like this Understand that two kings can come together with your rule together. We get iron sharpens iron, you know, we need That accountability. We need to be able to talk to brothers, you know and be able to say man This is what I'm going through, you know to be able to like be vulnerable You know, and then not then it not be where we clown on each other for certain things, man I think that's one thing is as men that we got to like learn to like let go of because we've been programmed to like Laugh off. Yeah trauma and the laugh off our emotional pain and turmoil that Creates quote-unquote toxic masculinity. Yeah, but let me ask you something bro. Like, you know Personally like what what are some of the things that you do like when those urges do flare up? Like what are some of the steps you take, you know, I'm saying like super horny You know, it's one of those nights like what a Hoping I get to you know, too technical But like what are some of the practical things that you do to make sure that you're protecting yourself and your purity Man, so I take out my purity box Hey, I know my body I have the moment where I'm like, I gotta go to the gym and lift the heaviest thing possible Honestly, that that's my therapy. You know going in the steam room and the um, and the sauna Like like like release is a release for me. You know, like and working out like I have to go exhaust myself Yeah writing like journal every day, bro. Wow, you know, I haven't done that course like being here But journal is my thing, bro. That's big. That's big. It's a life force right now Life force needs to go somewhere. That's what we don't understand. We think that like that this means I need to procreate It's like go like like God is trying to try to speak to you and you need to produce through your purpose So writing and just going to the gym perfecting my body um Help sometimes going for a run reading um getting my mind into a different place It's something I'm just praying or also bro something I recently implemented to my life is fasting So this like two months ago. I did a three day fast. No food. No water. Now. I'm not recommending y'all Just jump out there and do this, but I've done two. Um, I started out did the one month I did the no food no water for three days hardest thing I've ever done But the most clarity I've ever had just like to subdue Everything and the body and then I did another one like a month after that two days just um, just water only Just for that clarity and that focus because sometimes like you say bro Like there's only so many times we can get on social media and see a half naked woman or like go out Before it starts to really eat away at us. So we kind of got to like cleanse ourselves. So exercising fasting reading um journaling sometimes like it's rare, but like I'll talk to like a homeboy And I'm like, bro, I ain't gonna lie, bro. I mean I need to hit something quick, you know Like I just skip this expressive just like bro like man. I'm weak right now. I really need you know So just sometimes just saying that But then like not not acting on it by diverting that energy into something else because that's a life for so What about yourself man? What works for you? That's powerful man for me personally, man. Jim obviously Jim I see I see so I stay in the gym bro. I work out bro. I work out that helps a lot reading bro. I read I read and um Fasten as well. It's like I try to fast weekly. So every Wednesday I try to shut down like I'll do nothing like fast for 24 hours I try to make it a weekly thing where I fast weekly. Um, and then also like, you know, waking up in the morning So my routine is, you know waking up at 4 30 getting my spiritual time and meditation and all that That helps me a lot and when I'm not, you know, I'm not praying and meditating I feel it throughout the day, you know, I'm saying so for me personally, man That's just being intentional my spiritual time. That's what helps me because you know Now I'm starting the day with the right mindset to write perspective But yeah the gym bro reading Those are the two I use a lot to be honest and you hit something on it I think something that's very important for men too is having a disciplined morning routine Yeah, bro when I'm on that 4 30 grind like waking up, it sucks. It's a sacrifice But man when I'm waking up in salmon, I know I've got an hour to give You know get my spirit in my mind right and then go work out Bro my day is like I become like Superman, bro It's just like the flow just even just like the opportunities that come my way Just the clarity of the focus like man, I think it's important for everybody But it's specifically men to have a disciplined morning routine to write out What it is that you need to do the night before, you know And I noticed like in just in the season of just like more focus more Intentionality and doing those things man. Yeah, bro. Just my life is better You know, like I'm just more clear because you're more intentional Yes, you're just not living to live that you're being very intentional. You're not just going with the wind Yeah, um, so yeah, it's definitely a valuable uh practice. Yeah, and just lastly I just want to say man. Just like I think that it's a spiritual warfare that we're facing man It's not to blame women. It's not to blame society. It's to blame just the adversary just the way You know good versus evil works But man that the devil wants to distract men with pleasure He wants us to not focus on our position as being spiritual leaders because then we're not leading women You know then now the more women are in church and listening and paying attention to god Then we are and we're focused on all these other things So we're breaking down the family unit by being distracted, you know, great point And so, you know, just thinking about about adam being in the garden It was he was in communion with god before eve ever came into the picture And so I think that's most important for us as men in our single season You know to develop that moral code and to develop that personal relationship with the creator because I grew up in the church My dad's a pastor. Yeah, but I didn't find god for myself till 23 So to a one just life hit me in the face and like just I could no longer depend on mommy and daddy's prayers I got on my knees and I found god for myself man and that changed my life And I haven't you know, I haven't been perfect on my journey But man my life is 10 x since then bro. Yeah, absolutely bro And um, that's a great point. You made two rows is during your single time You have to be able to lead yourself if you can't lead yourself Who know be able to lead a woman and lead a family? So that's why Singleness is very important because you'll be able to tell okay now. I'm ready because I I could lead myself I'm disciplined enough to lead a woman and then lead a family. So yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's it's vital, man You know That's why like sometimes I'm so hardcore on my beliefs man because I know my clarity I know when something has come from god and I know when something is not from god So so just sometimes I'll have conversation with people and I'll hold to like what it's true to me Yeah, because the devil's always going to try and attack you like and a man that that won't stand for for something Will fall for anything right? So like man when we learn to like stand in what god man Imagine being a noah or a moses and god gives you something that's clear as day Yeah, and everybody else is around trying to distract you and tell you man you a fool man Like it ain't no rain. We ain't had this or that You know I'm saying like that's we face that like that's our social media today Like god has given us all purpose those of us who are focusing on him But we got to battle that that foolish talk from other people trying to say man, you're crazy That's why every day it is vital that I connect with god I pray and say god I need you god strengthen me Show me what to do because it's always going to be some form of attack every day. We battling bro Every single day bro every single every single second day. It's a spiritual warfare And the bible talking about spiritual wickedness in high places, you know, but we're so Carnal, bro, like we're so carnal. We think that the physical is all that's happening Really, bro? Every single thing from social media Just everything's happening in the world, but it's spiritual warfare. Right it's happening right before us You know, those who are we're understanding but most most most times we don't you know just living Um, but to really tap into our purpose and to take to take the next step We have to understand that this is spiritual warfare and I have to be very intentional On how I'm moving who I'm meeting, you know every single thing Yeah, and one another thing that I've noticed too, bro Just the more that I'm connected to god as a man The more that I repel a certain type of woman a certain type of spirit like the more clear I am I can sense a Jezebel spirit walking up Yeah, you know versus when I was young and dumb just out there in the streets You know, I was falling left and right to everything that was coming my way But the more clear I become and just more connected to god More the higher caliber spiritual women. I feel like I attracted to my life Yeah, because the holy spirit is real bro Like, you know, like when G is talking about leaving you're a confeder, bro Like when you're connected you feel guided, you know, I'm saying that that little still voice I say, hey Caleb, don't do this. Hey go this way go that way. That's the holy spirit, bro It's real boy. Yeah, I start a podcast I might be saying something right here, man Might be our new purpose. Yeah, that's that's that's my two cents on it, man Yeah, you know just being a single man striving to do the right thing So yeah, yeah, hey practical steps, man, you know, it's the urges won't go away It's natural to feel those urges, man But just like god gave you those urges He also gave you the power to control those urges as well. So Whatever it takes man meditating and working out Whatever it takes, you know, to stay pure and fellas, man, remember that, you know You can't be a king if you're a slave to your pleasures I'll say it again. You cannot be a king if you're a slave to your pleasures Right because the adversary is going to find a way To get those pleasures to take you down Peace And lastly, I just want to remind the fellas also that We'll never be perfect, but perfection is always the goal the bible commands us to to be perfect as your father in heaven That is our example that as our that is our guide of the men and the men that we should we should strive to be So I just want to finish with that All right, man. Appreciate you bro. Appreciate you man. Appreciate y'all man. They keep striving to be the best you can be Last night there was a key point just stuck with you, right? Yo, you can't be a king if you're a slave to your pleasures. That shit That shit